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220. Our "Flirt To Convert" Ideas And Ratings Your Going To Love · The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Today's episode is the Lost Art of Flirting and how to Bring it Back.
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: My favorite saying is flirt to convert.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: What are you converting to babe?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: It could be converting to whatever.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: Flirt to convert to nothing.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: Everyone knows that next turn to convert to one thing.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: What would that be, babe?
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: I don't know how you even have to say it.
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you do.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: I don't know what you're talking about.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: If you're going to flirt with me.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: I know you're after one thing, One thing.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: What's that?
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: What is that?
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: To make mad passionate love.
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: You got me, you got me.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: We did a recent video about pickup lines for your spouse Pick up.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Oh, they were so good.
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: I read them to Nick the first time.
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: So good.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: He almost died.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I did.
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: I was laughing.
• 1:37
  Speaker 3: Is that the kind of flirting we're going to be talking about today, or different kind of flirting?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: I think we could have some of that in there, some little joking and talking.
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: I think flirting comes down to keeping you in touch, keeping things fun and light and goofy, right.
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: Like little more playful this is our top 20 list.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Well, I should say a top 20 list, and we'll go through them and we'll tell you what we agree with, what we don't agree with.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Like you even care what we think.
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: Well, if we don't agree with them, you might be like we love that one and that's awesome, that's right.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: And it's a good thing.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: Every couple is different, because some of the things I'm like really I would never do that.
• 2:23
  Speaker 3: We're not going to make fun of them, though, because if you like them, we would feel really bad.
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: Well, and Nick's going to try not to make fun of them and some of the things we do.
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: You're probably going to be like Nick and Amy have lost it.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: So remember it's all good.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: Don't write us an email getting mad at us that you don't like our ideas.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: They weren't our ideas.
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: We came up with a list from lots of ideas and we're all different.
• 2:49
  Speaker 3: We're just going to tell you which ones we like.
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: So lead us off, babe.
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, love notes.
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: And we always thank you for having a great day and we hope you enjoyed the sense of.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: I well, you already know, I guess we're gonna do the flirt to convert scale.
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: Flirt to convert.
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: Flirt to convert scale.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: You okay, hold on Before we get started with the flirt to convert scale.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: You're rolling your eyes because you're like is it always about sex?
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: No, almost the time.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: But yes, like if your husband's flirting with you, and if you're flirting with him, it's usually because it's gonna turn sexual right, Exactly exactly.
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: No one goes in and.
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: And if you don't think it's about sex, then go listen to our episodes about emotional intimacy and how that's number one.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Before you get mad at me.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: And it's okay that you're flirting because you wanna be intimate with your spouse.
• 3:38
  Speaker 3: And if your husband is flirting because he wants to be intimate with you, it's because he desires you and, like I always say, women should be flattered by that.
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: Your husband's all over you Be flattered, that's a compliment.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Amen sister, spitting facts, it's a compliment that your husband wants to make love to you.
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: So take it as a compliment and take it lighthearted and be like, yes, I wanna make love to you.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Okay, number one, florida to Convert Scale leave love notes.
• 4:06
  Speaker 2: Oh, I'd say it's like a nine.
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: It's up there.
• 4:09
  Speaker 3: For a man, well, I.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Or for a woman, oh if you left me a love note describing what you wanted to do.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: To you.
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, like I Mixed about even talking about flirting.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: And I yeah just tell me what you wanna do.
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: No, and I write.
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: Amy love notes all the time.
• 4:26
  Speaker 3: He's so good at it.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: She has a drawer where she saved all my love notes.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: And I'm like man.
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: I have produced enough love notes over 22 years.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Like she has a ton of them.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: I didn't even know I produced that many of them.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: When we're talking about all the time, we're talking about every few months.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true.
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: Every few months.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Not like weekly.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: I don't need a weekly Like that's not my love language, but it's his.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: So he likes to write them, but I'm not good at it.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: Our failure is gonna come out in this podcast.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and some of the things, how do I say it?
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: Some of the things I do for Amy are also fulfilling my needs too.
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: I don't want that to sound selfish, no, but like I love writing new love notes because I love joking, I love expressing how I feel to you and I love, hopefully, seeing you blush or smile or laugh, like that makes me happy.
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: Perfect and win-win.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: So we're gonna put that on a scale of love notes yes, 10.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: 10.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: Playful texts.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: I would give that even higher than a 10, even though I can't go higher than a 10.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: Nick's going higher than a 10.
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: 20 or 11.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Like way high.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: I have to max out at 10.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I mean, that's the rule.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: But, yeah, playful texts.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: If you've seen some of our videos of the playful texts I've sent to Amy, Recently.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: Or I have sent back, or Amy sent back.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: We both like playful texts.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: We do like playful texts.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna give that one a 10.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Even if it's just Amy sending a text that says N-M-N tonight.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: That's all Nick walks.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: All my day's over.
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: My work day is pretty much over at that point and I'm worthless.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: And for you that are new listeners and don't know us well, that means Naked movie nights.
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: If you haven't done Naked Movie Night like, you are totally missing out.
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: Well, it depends if you're into the movie or not.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: If your husband's like mine, where he's like literally cannot concentrate on the movie and it's kind of like making you not it just you gotta pause the movie.
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: Like what movie did we just watch?
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: I don't remember once I go think about the movie.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: It was probably something scary, because that's what I like.
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: And it was probably a comedy, which is what you like.
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: Amy's romance or horror films.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 6:43
  Speaker 3: I like Zombies, okay, oh, the other night she says hey, let's get Rom-.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: What did you say you?
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: said I wanna watch a romantic movie.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: You said let's get romantic tonight.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: I wanna watch a horror movie.
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: I was like oh yeah, bring on the zombies.
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: She's like I'm in the mood, let's watch a horror movie.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, okay.
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: It's fine.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: So anyway, it's okay, it's fine.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: I'm weird.
• 7:02
  Speaker 3: Okay next.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Oh so playful text on the flirt to convert scale is getting a 10 from us.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: A 10.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Number three is dancing together, and Nick is gonna give this a big fat zero and.
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna give it a 11.
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: I know I, oh I'm so bad.
• 7:23
  Speaker 3: This is where we like air in there, he would rather give me a love note, which I should appreciate and I do, but if he would dance with me, hmm, 11.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: Floor to convert.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: I would give you whatever you wanted, hold on hold on.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: I've tried dancing with you.
• 7:39
  Speaker 2: I've said, hey, let's dance in the river.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: You're usually really joking.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: No.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: I You're a jokester.
• 7:45
  Speaker 3: Okay, so we all know what that scale is for us.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've dropped the ball on that total.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: This isn't a guilt session.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: This is a rape session.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Okay, I yeah dance together.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Okay, I'm gonna publicly announce this.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: The only thing that I ever want for Christmas in my entire life is for him to buy ballroom dancing lessons, and he said he tried it one year and they went out of business.
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: They did COVID, but he didn't try any of them.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: He didn't try any of them.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: So I don't even care if it's this year, next year, the next year, just by the time I die, I just want a ballroom dancing lesson.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: That's my love language.
• 8:21
  Speaker 2: It was during the COVID pandemic that they shut down.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: Okay, well, okay, moving on.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I meant pandemic.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: Did I just say that all the while, Dude?
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: You didn't say pandemic.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: No, no.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: Complimenting each other that's not really flirting.
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: Is that on the list?
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: That's just something that should be done all the time.
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: That shouldn't be flirting.
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: That should be like natural emotional intimacy, like you better be doing that.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: Babe, you look smoking hot.
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: And he's really good at this one and I really suck at this one.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: It's all good.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: It's all good.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: See, so this is a good conversation to have in your marriage.
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: And that's gonna be probably pretty common for a lot of these is one spouse is really good and one spouse just sucks.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Well sometimes.
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: So I don't think complimenting should be flirting, I think that should be natural, but I'm gonna give it a 10.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: I think that should be very important in your marriage.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: Whether you're flirting to convert or not, that should not be trying to convert, that should just be being nice.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: Right, yeah, okay.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Secret code words.
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: Nick wanted to take this one off the list.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: He's like this is stupid, and I'm like wait, we totally do that.
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: You just don't realize it.
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: We don't do code words, we have this code sentence we have a phrase in our marriage where he's like, if I say something, it doesn't even have to be sexual, it doesn't even have to be anything to do with this.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: It's like, hey, can you go to the store today and I will say what do I say?
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: Is this your way of initiating and that's his way of initiating.
• 9:51
  Speaker 3: But if I go back and say I am initiating, then I get the credit.
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: I know it's go time, that's right, I get the credit.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Or vice versa.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: I'll she'll say something.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I'll say is that your way?
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Usually she'll just say, hey, can you go pick up the kids?
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: I'll say is that your way of initiating?
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: And then I'll know it's day three and he's in the mood and I'll say it is my way of initiating.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: I just initiated.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: It's go time.
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we do use code words.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: We don't use code words like naming our body parts and things like that.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: We have kind of funny sentences around the kids that they won't pick up on no-transcript.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: We just we get each other.
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: Okay, so I'm gonna rate whatever that looks like in your marriage.
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it works for us in a certain way, so next one.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: Cooking together.
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: Oh, wow, oh that is when.
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: Where were you?
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: I would love to hear this one Okay let's hear it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: Let's hear it, go for it.
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: No, what were you gonna ask?
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: You were gonna ask or state something.
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: Is it flirting to you to cook together?
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Nope.
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: It is to me when, okay, Nick does not cook.
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: That's like another dream of mine, Hold on hold on.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: What did I cook last night?
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: You put some stuff on the grill while I made the homemade stuff.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: So yeah, we were both romantically cooking together with our kids around.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: I guess I'm just gonna say it's super romantic when Nick will come in the kitchen with me on a Sunday when we're preparing for a big Sunday meal and he's like what can I do to help?
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: And he actually starts peeling potatoes and he wants to be there and that is very flirty and romantic to me especially.
• 11:37
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm gonna add the flirting.
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: That's romantic to me.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: But if we're trying to make this a flirting thing, he usually grabs my bat or hits it with a spoon.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's true.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, we do, yeah, we do.
• 11:49
  Speaker 3: You're pretty good at that.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we do that in the kitchen.
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: I will take that back.
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: You flirt in the kitchen.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I flirt in the kitchen.
• 11:54
  Speaker 2: The kitchen's kinda my flirty.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: And sometimes I roll my eyes, like a lot of you women do.
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: It's okay.
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: It's okay, we're human.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: I grab her butt and that's my way of saying I love you, and the kids are like oh, gross dad.
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, kind of yeah.
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: So all right, yeah, that's a good one.
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna skip that one.
• 12:11
  Speaker 3: Pretty high up their number.
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: I'm not gonna give it a 10.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: It does not happen a whole ton, but I do like that one.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah, good, I like it.
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: Okay, I already messed this one up and gave it away.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: Wink and smile.
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: We're not big winkers in our marriage.
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: no, but we're big smileers.
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: We're big smileers.
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: Look at me trying to wink at you.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: That's so awkward.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah no, you, but just keep the wink to yourself.
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, we're gonna put that one lower on the Florida Converts scale, but I can see.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: A smile.
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: Hold on, I'm gonna break it up.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna say a wink zero.
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: A smile, a 10.
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: But I'm gonna say, if you're sitting across at family dinner with all the extended family and you look over each other and you give them that sexy wink, and I have done that.
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: That's pretty flirty, that's true, that's true.
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: And that can a one little tiny wink can mean a lot, don't you think?
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, just to you're right, it depends on the time.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Try doing it in your marriage Just at the right time.
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: We have done that.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: I looked at you across the table, winked and smiled.
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: I know exactly what you're thinking about.
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: Hey baby, Okay, flirt to convert number eight pillow fight, we have, we even ever had a pillow fight.
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: So I gotta say I don't know, cause we've never had one.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: Maybe we'll have one, nick wanted to take that off the list.
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: He's like that's cheesy.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: I'm like I think a lot of people do that, cause there's like videos of people like having pillow fights and it looks all romantic and the feathers are flying.
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: I don't know, Maybe it could be, maybe we should try it.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: So yeah, to me I gotta I can't put that on the flirt to convert scale Cause I don't know, I haven't tried that.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: To convert scale.
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: I'm going to give that a big fat.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: Whatever you want to do, try it.
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: I haven't, I can't.
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: I can't judge something I haven't tried.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: So we need to have more playful fights apparently.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: I like the next one.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: Remember inside jokes.
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: Remember intimate moments, or intimate moments.
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: Oh, we have a blast sharing our intimate moments.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: That are really funny.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: That are really funny.
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but sometimes when we start joking about intimate moments, it kind of creates an intimate moment Maybe.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: Remember that time, babe where you took me behind the building and had your way with me.
• 14:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, oh, that was a dream.
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: Hey.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: It was a dream.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: It happened in my dream too.
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: We should make it real yeah, next one.
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: If this is your love language, you're going to love this one.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Praise the Lord.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: I like this next one.
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: You don't like this next one.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I do.
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: What is it?
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: Surprise gifts.
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: You like surprise gifts?
• 14:58
  Speaker 3: You're not.
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: that's like the bottom of your love language I know I'm not a gift person, but that time when you surprised me with an overnighter in Vegas, oh.
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, that was like.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the best trip I had in two nights.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: It was really spur of the moment.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: She says pack your bags, we're going to Vegas.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: We live right by Vegas, so we do.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: We're close.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: And it's not that I love Sin City.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: It was that I was with her and we spent two fun nights together.
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: We actually avoid Vegas like the plague because it is close and we ate that place.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: But no matter where it is, it's like so fun to just have a little surprise getaway, right?
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean.
• 15:38
  Speaker 3: So fun.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: And we do.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: But we're not really talking about surprise giveaways.
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: That's like a pretty big gift Surprise gifts we're talking about like little gifts.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: I like surprise gifts too.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I like giving surprise gifts.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: He only likes receiving surprise gifts.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: No giving, but it has to do with, I said, giving.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: I like giving you flowers or surprising you with other things.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I'm not the greatest at it, but it really brings me joy and puts a smile on my face.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: So now I'm getting confused.
• 16:07
  Speaker 3: There's this list about love languages, or is this list about flirting?
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Flirting, yeah, okay.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: So I guess to like make this in the flirting more.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: Why.
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: Flirting in a way of giving a gift?
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Maybe isn't it?
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: I gave Amy some scratch off cards the other night.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I buy her flowers and just say hey babe just want to let you know I love you and you're as beautiful as these flowers.
• 16:36
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so that's flirting.
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: I'm slowly.
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: Flirting is flirting, Okay, Number.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: Oh wait, we didn't rate that one.
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: Surprise gifts Flirt took a vert scale 10.
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: Yes yeah, 10.
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: Next one is playing games together.
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: What kind of games?
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: You and I have played a lot of games together.
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: Lots of different kind of games.
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: Absolutely you guys, I feel like you're playing games.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Let's talk about non-sexual games, because I know Nick's thinking about sexual games.
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: We're talking about non-sexual games.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Well, we used to always play games and we'd have bets Like, okay, the winner gets a back rub, or and he would flirt during the games.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Oh man, Some serious flirting.
• 17:25
  Speaker 3: I might have done a little serious cheating Maybe.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: So that she could win.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: So I could win that.
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she did.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: She came to me.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: She's like.
• 17:32
  Speaker 2: I just wanted to let you know.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: A couple of nights ago I cheated and it's been eating me up inside.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: And I did.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: I felt very guilty and very honest and he laughed and he's like you can cheat anytime, Absolutely.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: It's a win-win for me.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, cheat, more often yeah.
• 17:46
  Speaker 3: So playing games together on the flirt scale, it depends on what games you're playing and if you're having flirtatious prizes at the end of the game or during the game flirting and playing games.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: It's a hand in hand.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: Absolutely Hand in hand.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: A 10.
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: 10 for sure.
• 18:04
  Speaker 3: Sharing the next one.
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: Sharing a bath or a shower, that's flirting.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: Well, yeah.
• 18:11
  Speaker 3: What is this list?
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: For most people that don't shower together all the time.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: That's flirt.
• 18:15
  Speaker 3: Well, I think it would have to be like how do I flirt with my spouse to let them know I want to shower with them, maybe right?
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so Amy and I shower together all the time.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: You've heard the previous podcast episode.
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: It's not sexual.
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: It's not sexual.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: It's not sexual at all.
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: Most of our shower sessions are not sexual at all, but we have some of the greatest conversations in the shower.
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: We really do so.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: For us maybe it's not as much to flirt, but our relationship has grown tremendously by the conversations we have in the shower.
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: So I would say for most people yeah, most people are like I just want to hop in the shower with my spouse.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: So maybe if you wanted to make the shower thing flirty, you could leave a little note, like we said, or you buy our intimacy coupons where it has a shower, a steamy shower scene A steamy shower scene.
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: Or you could write in red lipstick on the mirror Go get him the hot shower later.
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: I don't know you could be flirty with that.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: Yep.
• 19:21
  Speaker 3: And give it a 10.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: I like it OK flirting when it comes to giving massages.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: Absolutely a 10.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: I love giving Amy massages.
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: See that takes care of his physical touch language no, it's so true, I'm a physical touch guy, so just like touching Amy and giving her an intimate massage is awesome.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: Awesome for.
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: Both.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: For both, awesome for both, it's a win, win.
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: There is always a convert at the end of that.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: If your husband's going to, or wife's going to, touch your naked body and give you a 20 minute to an hour long massage, you better be converting.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Oh man.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Right, ok, next one Sharing laughter.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: Having fun together, laughing together.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: I think this is probably a 10 on my list, because I really love closing up my love just laughing, and I think when you and I are laughing hard together when we're watching a movie or a video or something like it, doesn't happen enough.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: It doesn't happen enough, but when we're both laughing and stuff like it's definitely a way to like flirt and smile and connect and Like we're having fun together, like we did when we were dating, right?
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: Absolutely Cause you laugh a lot when you're dating.
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: You're having more fun when you're dating in first marry than you are probably now.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 20:45
  Speaker 3: But that doesn't have to be like that so yeah.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: You put on comedies at night and laugh together and then we do like that's probably the favorite.
• 20:54
  Speaker 2: one of the favorite things to do is watch, like videos of comedians or yeah, things that make us laugh right.
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: Satire.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: Um, this one kind of goes with the week.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: The next one flirtatious eye contact.
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: She's doing it right now.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to practice.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: I would give that a 10.
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: You like that?
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: It was more of a double eye non-wink uh, raise the eyebrow, kind of thing.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Whatever's going on.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Whatever's going on.
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: Because it definitely goes very wrinkly when I raise my eyebrows.
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: Whatever's going on over there, I like it.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: I think that one comes down to at the right moment too.
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: Like you have to be in like a like flirtatious atmosphere where you do it at the right moment and it means something.
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: And then when you can like do it back and forth and like be in that same zone together where you're like I don't know that just to me like means your marriage is really good when you're like flirting and you're like I like this.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: You're in the zone right, so I'm going to give flirtatious eye contact.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: I'm going to give it a five because it's not big for us, but I think it could be really good.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Why?
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: don't.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: We do it sometimes.
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: We need to do it more often.
• 22:09
  Speaker 2: We need to do it more often.
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: We start winking and stuff more often.
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I don't know, I think that's one.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Create a bucket list we.
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: How do you make that flirty though?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: I think just talking about, like, the things you want to do together and it doesn't always need to be it, it could be some things in the bedroom, it could be some things outside the bedroom, it could be vacations, it could be things you want to accomplish I think, naturally, like just talking about wanting to do those fun things together could be flirting, yeah, and I think I think we need to do that.
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: I think we need to do better.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: I've talked about things, but I think you and I need to make a legit bucket list.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: That's like.
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: All right, here's what we want to do.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Yep, yep, together Agreed.
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: Okay, that's what we're going to do this week.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Create a bucket list on the flirt to convert scale.
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: I don't really know how this goes in hand with being flirty, but I do agree it's important to talk about things that sound fun to you in your marriage right.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: So we're going to give that one an importance rating and do better at it.
• 23:09
  Speaker 3: Next one oh, I can't roll my eyes at it because some people are into this role playing, flirty role playing.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: I don't diss it, because there's listeners that are not dissing it.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying for you, for me I this is personally.
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: I know people feel differently, but for me personally, like I don't need to imagine Amy as a, as a nurse or a you know whatever a stripper Like I am.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying like no, I don't need to imagine you as anything Like I.
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: I can be your own personal stripper.
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: That's what the wife's have, right.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: I know what I'm saying is like yeah, some people like role play, other things to turn their spouse on.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying for me, and if you do, that's totally cool.
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: Whatever you want to do in your marriage.
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: I'm just saying for me, like you are my dream, so I don't need to role play anything else, like maybe I don't know, maybe you want me to be a fireman, maybe you want me to put a wig on and have more hair, maybe you want me to be a police officer.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: Okay, this is cause.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: there's two parts to this, though we're talking you're talking about role playing where you have to pretend your spouse is something else in order to like be turned on Right, like you're thinking more like sexual role playing.
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: I think I'm going to go with more lighthearted role playing, playfully acting out scenarios that you that are like in more of flirting way rather than a sexual way.
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: Cause like we're not into role playing in the bedroom, we're against.
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: We're kind of against that Like, which is fine if you're into that, but flirting wise, like okay, our favorite episode ever was probably in um king of queens king of queens when he does the um the pole dancing in the bedroom with his clothes on.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: He's like big and like he just knows what he's doing and it's hilarious.
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: He's just flipping around it's whole.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: It's just the funniest episode ever on his wife's doing a pole dance for him and she's just awful and he's like well, let me show you how.
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: It's totally appropriate, it's just it's a comedy, right.
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: So if you haven't seen it anyways, it's so funny.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: But like nicole do funny things like that and I'm like that's totally flirty and funny like just acting out do you know what I'm saying.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: So if you're like, you don't have to look at role playing is like always, like the sexual thing.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it can be like the george gastanza on the couch with my shirt off that like that, but maybe that's more of a flirty yeah, that's true, I like that, yeah, right so anyways, we're gonna.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I want to rate this one.
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: I don't really know how people feel about that and which depth they want to go into with role playing, but I like the next one, send flirty photos.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: My mind is already going to a time, so amy was out of town.
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: Your mind is going to sexual.
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: No, but no, because I knew nothing could happen this is.
• 26:09
  Speaker 3: This is this is for to convert.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: So amy, it didn't go sexual because you weren't here it was very sexual.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Well, I know but I knew there was no converting that night because you were out of town.
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: I was out of town.
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: I definitely sent him a photo.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: I don't believe in nude photos going on the internet absolutely not, because I don't trust any piece of device.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: But you can still send a flirty photo that's a little, a little flirty.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm talking about to your spouse.
• 26:37
  Speaker 3: That just makes their mind go oh, I would.
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: I'm in the mood already so she'd been gone for a couple nights and uh, she sends me, sends me this photo of her trying on lingerie at victoria's secret or something in the dressing room.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: I'm like, really like, you're totally, you're really gonna torture me.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: So I know for her, she loves seeing me in a suit.
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: So I went and put on a suit and took a picture line on the bed and I, literally I said no woman wants to see what men usually want to see like to.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: To me, a man in a suit is way more attractive than like some laundry on a guy anyways.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: So the whole point was he was trying to flirt back the whole, the whole night.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: We probably spend the next hour or two sending pictures back and forth and they were somewhere funny and somewhere not funny and anyways yeah so amy sends that to my phone and I didn't get.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: I got probably an hour of sleep that night.
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: The whole time I'm staring at my phone I'm like, oh my heck, that's my wife.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: She's beautiful, like I'm like oh, like so, nice I got no sleep.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: In fact, I had to delete the photo off my phone because I literally could not function that's so rude.
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: I was like when I was young okay, anyways, um, the point is, I got I got.
• 27:56
  Speaker 2: No, I got nothing down.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: The next day I was staring at your picture the whole time I I was worthless at work, had I mean?
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: the point is is sometimes whether they're into lingerie or whether they're into something funny or a nice dress suit, or you just putting on lipstick and kissing the photo, I don't care.
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: Whatever it is talk about, like what excites you and what's fun, to flirt and send that kind of stuff to each other.
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: That's the point, right yeah it's like flirt with each other, whether it's, like we said earlier, a text or a picture, like whatever it is.
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: Flirt with each other make marriage fun, because you probably did those kind of things when you first got married you know it needs to be continual in marriage yeah, I don't know that she's as excited to get a picture from a half balding man.
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: It's, uh, almost 50 nowadays, but but if you take a picture of you at the store buying me a big pile of fruit, I would be like oh, get home baby, get home baby oh I'm gonna do that.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: You know me now.
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: I'll do that next time oh, okay, um third to convert scale 10 oh, 10 for sure 10.
• 29:06
  Speaker 3: For sure, ski 10 last.
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: Is this the last one?
• 29:09
  Speaker 2: last one.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is the.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: This is great you already talked about it, though well, not really plan a survive, plan a surprise getaway or vacation and the way you could do that flirty wise is like nick just did.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: Hey, I booked us a trip in july january we're going and I can't wait to make love to you.
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: Every single night I was like, oh, whoa, yeah, I'm excited so so her reaction.
• 29:34
  Speaker 2: Although that didn't necessarily convert right now, that wilson bird in january, so it's still flirty, it doesn't matter, really matter when the conversion when the conversion happens?
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: No, so I did.
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: I planned a surprise getaway with her.
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: He did ask we?
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: well, hold on, we gotta.
• 29:53
  Speaker 3: We do have financial boundaries and I'm sure we talk about things and it was approved.
• 29:58
  Speaker 3: We talked about it was a big financial decision, but it was still a surprise in the sense that hey, this is when we're going.
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: This is where we're going, right exactly and do I have your permission.
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: And of course she she waited for about a half a second said you got the thumbs up didn't even need much time, but the fact of this whole entire list is to keep your marriage fun fun and exciting and and light hearted, a little bit.
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: Like we talk about going on date nights and always how are the kids, how's the job, how's?
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: I mean?
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: We already know those things, but like those, we always go to the the deeper conversations that aren't about us.
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: Right, and on date nights, we can do better at flirting and talking about each other and being more light hearted and laughing more together and doing more fun things, rather than sitting at dinner and having deep conversations all the time.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: We we're just.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: We need to do this too.
• 30:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like this list is for us too, like there's things that we can do better on, especially on date nights well, even just talking about this list, like we're already laughing and oh remember when you did this and remember this.
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: It's a great conversation to have like it brings up memories like we used to.
• 31:09
  Speaker 3: You used to flirt with me this way, or I used to flirt with you this way, and how can we bring that back into our marriage?
• 31:14
  Speaker 3: Like that's the point, right?
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: So?
• 31:16
  Speaker 3: absolutely flirt to convert, and absolutely it should convert, because you do hear us all the time.
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: Sexual intimacy is important and the flirting is the emotional intimacy connect on that level so the sex can be awesome.
• 31:28
  Speaker 3: That's what.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: That's why you got married is to have an awesome marriage I have nothing to add.
• 31:33
  Speaker 3: I'm speechless ultimate intimacy baby ultimate intimacy well, we hope you enjoyed the podcast oh, if you don't listen to the naked date ideas from back in the day, that could kind of go along with this yeah, for sure naked day.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: I just had to add I did, I just had to add that I think that's one of our most listened to podcasts as well is it?
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: So until next time, we hope all of you find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: Thanks for listening.