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How did you soft launch a break-up? · Anele and the Club on 947

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Wake up with a bang hey wake up and the
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: club on nine four seven.
• 0:08
  Speaker 2: Good morning i know you are tuned in because you
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: sent us a voice note things are things are burning
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: on your side fire burning on a dance.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: Floor hi and i hope you're well um For obvious reasons,
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: I can't disclose my identity.
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: I'm stuck with a bit of a situation, right?
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: So I've been waiting for my property, my place to
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: be built and all of that. And while waiting for that,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: I decided that, you know what, I'm going to move
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: in with my girlfriend. We agreed that, look, it's a
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: temporary situation. You know, we've been staying together for like
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: nine months. I... Told her last night that I need
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: to move out. Like my place is ready and I'm
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: ready to move out and so forth.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: She feels differently about it.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I'm afraid that it might compromise my relationship with her.
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: Wow! Sorry, I got distracted by the drama of it all.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: Did you tell us how long they've been living together?
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: Nine months.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Oh!
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: So hang on. So he's going to move out into
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: his place now.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: He's just been staying with her temporarily.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: And then she's going to carry on staying in her place.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: And then he's going to go and stay in his
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: new place.
• 1:21
  Speaker 5: Then they're going to date like.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: Like normal.
• 1:25
  Speaker 5: Like.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I spend the night at your house. Sometimes I
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: spend the night at my house. I leave a toothbrush.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: You leave a towel.
• 1:32
  Speaker 5: I leave a wig. You leave shoes and all of that.
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: I mean, that was the original arrangement, was it not? No, guys.
• 1:41
  Speaker 5: What do you mean no, guys?
• 1:44
  Speaker 6: Here's the thing.
• 1:44
  Speaker 5: We need to go back to temporary.
• 1:45
  Speaker 6: Staying in someone's house for nine months, your lover, is
• 1:48
  Speaker 6: not exactly the most temporary setup. That's literally the full
• 1:51
  Speaker 6: term of a pregnancy. Like a baby would have been
• 1:55
  Speaker 6: born now. Think about it. This man wants to leave.
• 1:59
  Speaker 6: He wants to spread his wings because he wants to
• 2:02
  Speaker 6: host other people at his own stadium.
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: I agree.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: He's soft launching a breakup.
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: Not soft launching a breakup.
• 2:09
  Speaker 7: Yeah, if he was really happy and comfortable, then he
• 2:11
  Speaker 7: would say, oh, maybe we move into the house.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: That I've just built.
• 2:15
  Speaker 5: Or take her with.
• 2:16
  Speaker 7: Take her with. Or maybe we rent out your place
• 2:19
  Speaker 7: or my place. No, he's... Absolutely wanting... To go back
• 2:24
  Speaker 7: to his independence. Thank you so much for the boarding
• 2:26
  Speaker 7: and lodging, lovely lady. This is much better than the
• 2:30
  Speaker 7: City Lodge would have ever given me. But now I
• 2:33
  Speaker 7: am out of here and I am about to thrive.
• 2:35
  Speaker 5: That's what he's saying.
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: Look, I mean, he's spent time building his new place, right?
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: So I can imagine that he just wants to be
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: there a little bit alone in his own place.
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: Use that imagination to go down this road quickly, Frankie.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: He is saying, I'm having a housewarming and you're not
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: the one who's doing the warming.
• 2:53
  Speaker 3: No, surely not.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: This is absolutely, guys, we cannot stay together, right? Staying
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: together temporarily is one week. two weeks, a month max,
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: nine months of staying with your boyfriend, nine months of
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: staying with your girlfriend, there's only one way to go
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: after that.
• 3:11
  Speaker 5: Either we carry on.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: Staying together for a while, get engaged, get married, or
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: if we split after that and not live together, we.
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: Are breaking up.
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: So you can't take a step back.
• 3:22
  Speaker 5: You can't. Am I wrong? You can't. No, you can't, guys.
• 3:25
  Speaker 5: You can't.
• 3:25
  Speaker 6: Because, sorry, you're rowing backwards. You are literally rowing backwards.
• 3:31
  Speaker 6: Because who says? You would expect that the relationship has strengthened, right?
• 3:35
  Speaker 6: Has become stronger over nine months that you would be
• 3:38
  Speaker 6: perhaps even inseparable.
• 3:39
  Speaker 8: You're in a rhythm.
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: You're in a rhythm. You're each other's lung.
• 3:42
  Speaker 9: You.
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: You eat at the same time. You wake up at
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: the same time. You guys are in a rhythm. You're
• 3:48
  Speaker 2: a couple. You live together. Guys, there is no reason
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: in the world why after you've moved in with your person,
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: you guys move apart and still stay together. You would
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: have to look through all 7 billion people in the
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: world who says that that was a thing that happened
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: in their lives.
• 4:03
  Speaker 3: But I'm sure for some people, I'm sure that for
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: some people, they are stronger when they are living apart.
• 4:09
  Speaker 6: And it takes you nine months.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Something like their own spaces.
• 4:11
  Speaker 7: Yeah, he can move out. It's just going to take
• 4:14
  Speaker 7: you twice as long now to get married.
• 4:17
  Speaker 5: Really?
• 4:18
  Speaker 7: Well, I mean, after nine months, if he's moving out
• 4:21
  Speaker 7: and we're hopefully getting married within the next year or two,
• 4:25
  Speaker 7: is he going to then move back in? Or I'm
• 4:28
  Speaker 7: going to.
• 4:28
  Speaker 5: This is a lot of admin.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: Guys, do you know what a commitment it is to
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: build a house?
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: Yes, exactly.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: So you know how to make a commitment, Sipang.
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: This is just the one you don't want to make.
• 4:39
  Speaker 6: Guys, someone who will live with you In your apartment,
• 4:42
  Speaker 6: in your ballroom, right? For nine months, sharing a bathroom,
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: sharing your kitchen and whatever. Build a house, which I
• 4:50
  Speaker 6: would imagine would be a huge achievement, right? Because it's
• 4:53
  Speaker 6: a permanent place of your own. And it's not saying
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: to you, come with me to start this new chapter.
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: It does not need you in their life.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Cool.
• 5:03
  Speaker 10: 011-8838-947.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Like I said, an injury to one is an injury
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: to all.
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: This is happening in Sepang's life.
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: He's been living with his girlfriend for nine months whilst
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: his house was being built.
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: His house is now done.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: He's moving out of his girlfriend's house and he's not taking.
• 5:18
  Speaker 5: The girlfriend with.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: And understandably, she's catching feelings about it. And he doesn't
• 5:23
  Speaker 2: understand why she's catching feelings.
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: Like this was always the arrangement.
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he had a plan. He was going to build
• 5:28
  Speaker 3: his own place and then move in there.
• 5:30
  Speaker 2: How we felt nine months ago is not how we
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: feel now. Things have changed now that we have gotten.
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: Into a rhythm.
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: I get exactly where she's coming from. Tepang's girlfriend says
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: this is a breakup.
• 5:41
  Speaker 5: He doesn't think it is. What do you think?
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: I just want to clarify quickly. You said an injury
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: to one. Who's the one getting injured? Is it Tepang
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: or is it the girlfriend? Who's the injury on?
• 5:50
  Speaker 6: Well, to both of them, I want to dedicate Gladys Knight.
• 5:53
  Speaker 6: Neither one of us wants to be the first to
• 5:55
  Speaker 6: say goodbye. The opening line is sad to think we're
• 5:58
  Speaker 6: not going to make it. Oh, no.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: Tabang is definitely the one who's saying goodbye.
• 6:01
  Speaker 5: With ease and afoot. With ease.
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: He's leaving.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: And also, what happens that first night?
• 6:08
  Speaker 5: Does she then sleep at your house?
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we have a housewarming.
• 6:11
  Speaker 10: No.
• 6:11
  Speaker 7: No, now we're back and forth.
• 6:13
  Speaker 10: Right.
• 6:14
  Speaker 5: After all of that.
• 6:15
  Speaker 8: No, no, no.
• 6:16
  Speaker 4: After all of that.
• 6:16
  Speaker 2: Such admin.
• 6:18
  Speaker 9: Oh, no.
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: This is dicey dodgy. Oh, this is. This is a slippery,
• 6:23
  Speaker 5: slippery slope. Slippery slope.
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: Hi, Nele. I hope you're well.
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: I'm well.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: For obvious reasons, I can't disclose my identity. I'm stuck
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: with a bit of a situation, right? So I've been
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: waiting for my property, my place to be built and
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: all of that. And while waiting for that, I decided that,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: you know what, I'm going to move in with my girlfriend.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: We agreed that, look, it's a temporary situation. You know,
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: we've been staying together for like nine months. I... Told
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: her last night that I need to move out. Like
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: my place is ready and I'm ready to move out
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: and so forth. She feels differently about it. I'm afraid
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: that it might compromise my relationship with her.
• 7:07
  Speaker 11: Oh that arrangement is just the beginning of the end.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: I disagree with Cindy.
• 7:15
  Speaker 5: I just built a house. Can I enjoy my house
• 7:18
  Speaker 5: in peace?
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Then we can have a conversation and be like, all right,
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: what do we want to do moving forward? No way, guys.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Nine months, you've made a baby.
• 7:32
  Speaker 5: He's made a baby.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: He needs to stay with her.
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: I have lived through this.
• 7:36
  Speaker 5: It does not work.
• 7:37
  Speaker 3: It only causes more problems.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: You must just tell her if she's not ready for,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: you know, something too serious.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: Tepang used you. That's so intense. I don't think that's
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: the case.
• 7:54
  Speaker 6: Come on.
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: Tepang should have moved in with someone else, his friend,
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: his cousin, his brother, his colleague, back home with his
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: mom or dad, anywhere but somewhere where you are going
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: to raise expectations. You are raising expectations. You cannot move
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: in with someone else. I don't know what the situation,
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: what is going on in your life. But you're only
• 8:18
  Speaker 2: moving with your girlfriend for a week, three weeks max
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: when you're painting your house or maybe they found termites
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: or things like that.
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: But nine months.
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, look, I mean, I see.
• 8:28
  Speaker 5: Four seasons.
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: No, I know.
• 8:30
  Speaker 10: I know.
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: I know. But maybe circumstances, maybe his parents aren't close
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: and maybe this was the easiest solution.
• 8:37
  Speaker 5: Cousin.
• 8:37
  Speaker 3: For them to just move in together. What must she,
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: you know, in his mind, and I can see this
• 8:41
  Speaker 3: is what's happening. He's built a place. He wants to
• 8:43
  Speaker 3: move in there. She's still paying rent or whatever she
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: is where she is. He's saying like, we can, let's
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: do it like this and then we can move forward
• 8:51
  Speaker 3: in future.
• 8:52
  Speaker 6: Ah, what about, but the saxophones are getting louder, my girl.
• 8:55
  Speaker 6: And you better hear them.
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: Sonali Insenton, good morning.
• 8:59
  Speaker 9: Good morning, guys.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: How are you?
• 9:01
  Speaker 5: We are great. Oh, you had a similar situation.
• 9:04
  Speaker 9: I had like so similar. It's ridiculous. So this guy
• 9:08
  Speaker 9: and I were dating for a year, basically. And then
• 9:11
  Speaker 9: he insisted on like moving in together. And I was like, OK, cool.
• 9:14
  Speaker 9: And then I found out it was because his previous
• 9:16
  Speaker 9: lease was ending. Anyway, we agreed we'd move in together.
• 9:20
  Speaker 9: And then we were like living for, I think, three months.
• 9:23
  Speaker 9: And then all of a sudden he's like, no, he
• 9:25
  Speaker 9: wants to move out. He feels like we need to
• 9:27
  Speaker 9: work on our trust and we can't do that if
• 9:29
  Speaker 9: we're living together. And obviously I disagreed because you'd be
• 9:32
  Speaker 9: taking steps backwards if we move out.
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: Now, right?
• 9:35
  Speaker 9: And obviously, because I disagreed, this one Sunday, he, like, disappears.
• 9:39
  Speaker 9: And then I catch him cheating. And I'm like, what
• 9:41
  Speaker 9: the heck? Men will only leave when they're cheating, guys.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Because my cry is, you want your independence or you
• 9:49
  Speaker 2: want to enjoy your house. What about the walls in
• 9:51
  Speaker 2: your house that you're not going to enjoy if you
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: are living there with somebody that you were living with?
• 9:55
  Speaker 9: No, it's not the house you want to enjoy. It's
• 9:56
  Speaker 9: the other woman you want to enjoy.
• 9:59
  Speaker 10: Maybe.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's just not ready to make that commitment. Because
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: if we moved into my house... and I built the
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: house together.
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: Then that's, now it's serious, serious. Like, it's going to
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: be forever, forever. So maybe it's just not ready for that.
• 10:13
  Speaker 9: But you were ready for, like, the commitment for the
• 10:15
  Speaker 9: nine months to, like, live with us. You know what
• 10:18
  Speaker 9: I'm saying?
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: It doesn't make sense. It was a temporary solve.
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: And I'm going to.
• 10:23
  Speaker 9: Temporary is not mine, mine, mine, mine.
• 10:26
  Speaker 2: I might make an assumption here because you must remember
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: when you're building a house, you're not keeping it to yourself.
• 10:31
  Speaker 5: You're picking tiles, you're asking me.
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: Yes, exactly. You're picking lights, you're asking me. You're deciding
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: where things go, you're asking me. You know, you're buying curtains,
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: you're asking me. I've also been part of this process
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: because you and I have been living together for nine months,
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: much like you've been part of the process of us here.
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: Buying groceries, making plans. Oh, are you on your way home?
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: Please pick this up. Please do that. We are in
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: a rhythm.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: If you are, you want to stop the rhythm. You
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: want to go start another rhythm somewhere else.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: I'm just saying, let's just I'm not ready to be
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: full time to get together.
• 11:03
  Speaker 6: Frankie's basically saying that free trial has come to its
• 11:06
  Speaker 6: end and I'm not subscribing.
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no. I'm just saying that I'm
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: not ready to commit. I feel if you move into,
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: if I've built a house and you move into my house,
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: then now it's like serious, serious.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: Oh, so when you were living in my house, that
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: was play play. You were Ken, I was Bobby.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: It was a temporary solution. I was busy building my place.
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: Come on, Bobby.
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: Let's go party. Oh, yeah.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Come on, Bobby. Let's go party. Guys, you missed the
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: chance to go.
• 11:39
  Speaker 5: Oh, my word.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Tandega from Alberton has got something.
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: She's got a bomb to drop.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: If you were planning on getting out the car, if
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: you're planning on doing something else, don't you dare do it.
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: On the way, Tandeka and Alberton are standing by to
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: shut this down.
• 11:54
  Speaker 11: I was in a situation where my boyfriend was staying
• 11:57
  Speaker 11: with me temporarily because he said he's going to buy
• 12:01
  Speaker 11: a house for us. So he did buy the house.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: He moved alone.
• 12:05
  Speaker 11: We broke up because of his cheating ways. before we
• 12:11
  Speaker 11: ever moved in together in the house that he bought
• 12:14
  Speaker 11: for us.
• 12:15
  Speaker 5: My guy, just tell the truth. You just don't like
• 12:19
  Speaker 5: her that much. Not anymore. Living with her showed you that.
• 12:23
  Speaker 5: Sepang doesn't love this girl.
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: You know, if he did, it wasn't going to be
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: my place. It was going to be our place.
• 12:30
  Speaker 4: You guys remind me of that guy that won a
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: date with y'all and decided to take the other woman.
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: It sounds exactly like that caliber of a man.
• 12:42
  Speaker 9: Oh.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 12:44
  Speaker 5: The type.
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: The genre.
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: You know, I hear everyone out. But I just feel
• 12:50
  Speaker 3: like maybe that's not Tupang's intention here. We're making Tupang
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: feel like a cheater and he's not doing the right thing.
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: Maybe it's not his intention.
• 13:01
  Speaker 10: No, no.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: I don't even think that there is a cheatation that's
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: currently happening. I just, what I know is he's not
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: serious about the girl that he's with now. And he
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: doesn't see a future with her at all.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: Oh, you feel like if he did, he's not being
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: honest with himself in this.
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: If he did, he would say, let's move into my place, klar.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: Klar. Because the same way you are splitting with her
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: now and not living with her. If you guys do
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: move in together and it doesn't work out, then still
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: you just split. Why are you breaking free now? Right.
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: Why do you want to.
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: When you guys are in a rhythm.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: Ah.
• 13:36
  Speaker 5: Tandega... Drop the bomb.
• 13:40
  Speaker 9: Morning, guys.
• 13:42
  Speaker 5: Good morning, Tanega.
• 13:43
  Speaker 8: Good morning, I'm back, guys. All I can say is...
• 13:49
  Speaker 8: He's getting married.
• 13:53
  Speaker 5: He's getting married.
• 13:55
  Speaker 8: It's September, guys. It's September. Why does the need to
• 14:01
  Speaker 8: move out happen now? We all know in South Africa
• 14:05
  Speaker 8: that 24th of September.
• 14:08
  Speaker 8: Those matching outfits come out.
• 14:11
  Speaker 5: But that's for Heritage Day.
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: We wear our traditional clothes because it's Heritage Day. Not
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: because it's a wedding.
• 14:16
  Speaker 8: He goes missing and now he's gone missing, guys. On
• 14:22
  Speaker 8: the 24th, he'll be nowhere to be found.
• 14:23
  Speaker 9: He's getting married. He found somebody else.
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: Oh my word.
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: You went all the way in. You said he's got.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: A whole new other relationship happening somewhere.
• 14:32
  Speaker 5: I'm saying he's got a whole wife.
• 14:34
  Speaker 8: He's got a whole wife. You are a placeholder for
• 14:36
  Speaker 8: nine months. You are teaching him how to be a husband.
• 14:39
  Speaker 8: Now he's ready to fly.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: Oh, and now you're the university for husbands. They come
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: and they graduate by you.
• 14:46
  Speaker 10: Yeah, boo.
• 14:47
  Speaker 8: That's what happened to her. She was teaching him and
• 14:51
  Speaker 8: now it's time.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: And also, can I say something, guys?
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: That is also okay.
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: We need to normalize people breaking up. Because what's the
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: alternative to that? People staying in relationships they're not happy with.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: They start being mean to each other. You know, they
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: start dismissing each other. They're not supportive of each other.
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: Because.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: So much of your life depends on how healthy your
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: relationship is.
• 15:12
  Speaker 5: This thing of us like treating breakups like, ooh, whatever.
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: Rather that, rather a clean.
• 15:18
  Speaker 5: You know what?
• 15:19
  Speaker 2: I think there's somebody out there for you who would
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: be a much better partner than I am. And I'm
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: going to go elsewhere and become another partner for somebody else, right?
• 15:27
  Speaker 5: But the whole like wanting to string her on and
• 15:30
  Speaker 5: be like, now.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Imagine you go from living with your person for nine
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: months to having to ask them to give you a code.
• 15:36
  Speaker 5: To having to be there at visitors' parking, at security.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think, look, I mean, I think Tupang has
• 15:43
  Speaker 3: to be honest about something. With himself. Maybe himself, maybe
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: with her. Maybe he's saying, look, I know we've been
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: together for nine months. I'm still keen. I'm not ready
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: to be full-time living together. But I'm still keen for us.
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: To be together.
• 15:56
  Speaker 2: It took you nine months to figure out that you're
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: not ready.
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: You're not ready.
• 16:01
  Speaker 10: Yes, because I think we're really too much into it.
• 16:05
  Speaker 10: Simply because there was an agreement when this whole thing started.
• 16:10
  Speaker 10: And the agreement was that as soon as my house
• 16:12
  Speaker 10: is done, I am going to move out. And that's
• 16:14
  Speaker 10: exactly what happened. It is not like Tepang moved in
• 16:17
  Speaker 10: with her and then sprung something in the middle of
• 16:21
  Speaker 10: nowhere and just said like, oh, I've bought her a
• 16:23
  Speaker 10: house and then I'm going to move out and go
• 16:24
  Speaker 10: to that house. You don't want married at first sight
• 16:27
  Speaker 10: things where people now get forced to get married just
• 16:30
  Speaker 10: because somebody had an expectation. If there's an expectation, the
• 16:34
  Speaker 10: person should have communicated in time, said, look, I can
• 16:36
  Speaker 10: see where this is going, the lady this time. I
• 16:39
  Speaker 10: can see this is going, then I feel like we
• 16:41
  Speaker 10: should move in together. However, Petang was sitting on the
• 16:45
  Speaker 10: agreement that they started on and said that, By the
• 16:48
  Speaker 10: time that my house is done, I am going to
• 16:51
  Speaker 10: move out. And that's exactly what happened. So now, and
• 16:54
  Speaker 10: look in the first note, Chappang also says that I
• 16:57
  Speaker 10: am worried. So Chappang is actually saying that I am
• 16:59
  Speaker 10: worried because that's not what I want in terms of
• 17:02
  Speaker 10: our relationship. However, the arrangement of moving out was always there.
• 17:06
  Speaker 10: It is just that maybe there wasn't a time to
• 17:08
  Speaker 10: do it. I mean, you can have a six-term contract.
• 17:10
  Speaker 10: for a year or two years or three years or
• 17:12
  Speaker 10: whatever the case is. But there was a conversation about it.
• 17:15
  Speaker 10: What was the reason of moving in? It was because
• 17:18
  Speaker 10: my house was being built. Yes, we can say you
• 17:20
  Speaker 10: could have moved in with anybody else. But even if
• 17:24
  Speaker 10: you say you could have moved in with anybody else,
• 17:26
  Speaker 10: you might have been like, oh, so I'm not good
• 17:28
  Speaker 10: enough for you to come and move in with me
• 17:29
  Speaker 10: in your hard times or whatever the case is. So
• 17:31
  Speaker 10: there's always a thing about it. But if an agreement
• 17:34
  Speaker 10: was made, The agreement was made. Now we can have
• 17:36
  Speaker 10: another conversation. The conversation now can be, okay, now you
• 17:39
  Speaker 10: found your own house or whatever the case is. Can
• 17:41
  Speaker 10: we move into this? Can we take it to the
• 17:43
  Speaker 10: next level or whatever the case is? But it cannot
• 17:46
  Speaker 10: be that.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: We're going backwards. This is the thing. We're going backwards
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: now because yes, that was nine months ago. I have
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: now changed my mind around not living with you because
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: you and I have lived together now for nine months.
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: We are in a rhythm, right? And you know full well, yes,
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: I get the agreement. I get that.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I'm moving in here whilst I'm building my house. But
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: now we now have to go back to sending each
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: other codes. And also you must remember, you now have
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: the keys into my house. Do I automatically assume that
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: I'm going to get the keys to your house?
• 18:24
  Speaker 10: Because that's the thing. That's the thing. We're living on
• 18:27
  Speaker 10: assumptions there and not communicate. Communication is very important as
• 18:31
  Speaker 10: to where we are. If something changes in the arrangement
• 18:34
  Speaker 10: and somebody else feels different about it, they should communicate
• 18:37
  Speaker 10: it prior.
• 18:38
  Speaker 5: She is communicating it now, though.
• 18:40
  Speaker 10: Not really, but now.
• 18:42
  Speaker 5: She is.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: That's why he sent a voice note, because she's unhappy
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: that he is leaving without her.
• 18:47
  Speaker 10: No, but Amelie, she didn't really, it means that this
• 18:50
  Speaker 10: is something she's been feeling. He is saying that, she's
• 18:53
  Speaker 10: only reacting to him going like, okay, I'm now holding
• 18:57
  Speaker 10: my end of the agreement. Like, I don't like your
• 19:01
  Speaker 10: end of the agreement. Because it means that for the
• 19:03
  Speaker 10: nine months or whatever months, she probably has been feeling that, okay,
• 19:06
  Speaker 10: maybe this thing can go on. Before a person can
• 19:09
  Speaker 10: even come to you and say, look, I feel like
• 19:11
  Speaker 10: the agreement that we had was that as soon as
• 19:14
  Speaker 10: my house is done. The lady should have gone like,
• 19:16
  Speaker 10: should have had the conversation to say that. I feel like, yes,
• 19:19
  Speaker 10: this was the agreement.
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: The end of the agreement doesn't suit her now. And
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: she's communicating that. And then he is choosing to wait.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: He is choosing to leave and not move her into
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: his house.
• 19:32
  Speaker 5: That doesn't suit her.
• 19:33
  Speaker 10: Right.
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: So she is communicating that she's unhappy with it. And
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: now he is faced with a choice and he is
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: still wanting to make the choice of not moving in
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: with her. So this is why the assumption on for
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: everyone is that that is now headed for a breakup,
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: because for her, the rhythm and and and. whatever was
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: happening is changing and she doesn't want that.
• 19:54
  Speaker 10: You see, that's the thing. And then that is the assumption.
• 19:56
  Speaker 10: It's the assumption, not that Tepo did something wrong, Tepang
• 20:00
  Speaker 10: did something wrong. But her assumption and everybody else's assumption.
• 20:03
  Speaker 10: And also, if I'm the lady, the conversation then can
• 20:06
  Speaker 10: be something different about, like, why are we seeing in
• 20:09
  Speaker 10: terms of marriage, not the moving in. Because essentially, if
• 20:11
  Speaker 10: you're talking about moving in, not on a temporary base,
• 20:14
  Speaker 10: now you're talking about somebody moving in full time with
• 20:16
  Speaker 10: you as a girlfriend and a boyfriend.
• 20:18
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 20:18
  Speaker 10: So now that changes the perspective also.
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: That he shouldn't have moved in with her if he
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: didn't want the expectation from a woman. Like, I'm talking
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: to you, you are a man, I'm talking to you
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: as a woman. You don't move in with a woman
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: if you don't want the expectation from the woman that says.
• 20:37
  Speaker 5: okay, we are now headed towards a specific place.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: And for as a woman, when you move apart from
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: a man that you've been living with close to a year,
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: we are regressing.
• 20:46
  Speaker 5: In our eyes. And naturally as a woman, I am
• 20:49
  Speaker 5: all about progression.
• 20:52
  Speaker 10: So the expectations that you're speaking about, the expectations can
• 20:55
  Speaker 10: only arise in the absence of an agreement.
• 20:58
  Speaker 5: No, no, no, no, no, no.
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: You've been very pragmatic about hearts.
• 21:03
  Speaker 5: I do think.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: Don't think with your head, think with your heart.
• 21:06
  Speaker 5: No, don't think with your head.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: You've been very pragmatic over something where I've been living
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: with a man that I love for almost a year
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: and now he is leaving. She has. That's why he
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: sent us the message. She has to be like, chap,
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: it doesn't make sense what you want to do here.
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Don't come and be practical.
• 21:26
  Speaker 10: We had an agreement. An agreement was that.
• 21:28
  Speaker 5: The agreement no longer suits me.
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: And come Nandu, I'm in a relationship with you.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: But then you must.
• 21:34
  Speaker 10: The agreement was between the two of us. Now the
• 21:37
  Speaker 10: shooting is for you. So that's a you thing now.
• 21:40
  Speaker 10: But the agreement was agreed between me and you. Now
• 21:43
  Speaker 10: you have.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Got something else. That's fine, Kikizo. I think that The
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: agreement is there and to the point, then she must decide.
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: She must then say. So, Sepang's obviously like, oh, look,
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: this caught me off guard a little because we had
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: an agreement. Like, maybe he's pragmatic, but you can understand.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: But then she must say, if we're not going to,
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: if it's a breakup, then.
• 22:04
  Speaker 5: You can't come.
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: This is not a cell phone contract, guys. A person
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: is not a cell phone contract. It's not a paper
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: where you're like, the agreement, the agreement. Excuse me, in
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: nine months, you and I have lived and supported and
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: grown together. The agreement, who we were nine months ago
• 22:20
  Speaker 2: is not who we are now. And that is allowed
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: to change. You gaslighting her into thinking that her feelings
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: are not valid because there.
• 22:26
  Speaker 5: Was an agreement.
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: No, I don't think that's the case. I'm just saying
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: that obviously now, and that's the point, his house is
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: not done. He's got to make the choice. Is he
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: taking her or not taking her? And then if he's
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: not taking her.
• 22:41
  Speaker 5: It's a soft launch to a breakup.
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: And this is what people are saying. And this is
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: what even I'm worried it looks like a breakup.
• 22:48
  Speaker 5: It is a breakup. Don't park the worry aside, my angel.
• 22:51
  Speaker 5: It's a breakup.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Like this is going to lead to a breakup.
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: Dude, there must be 1.0% of people who have managed
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: this where you move apart after living together and still
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: end up together after that.
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 23:03
  Speaker 2: Like, and you cannot say, oh, you don't trust me,
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: you don't trust me. Dude, a relationship is difficult to
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: manage when you see the person every day.
• 23:12
  Speaker 10: Yeah.
• 23:12
  Speaker 5: Imagine apart.
• 23:14
  Speaker 11: Yeah.
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: In Johnny's bag.
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: No, you've gone far down the line here, Tupang. You
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: are in trouble.
• 23:19
  Speaker 5: You've You're in trouble.
• 23:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you're in trouble.
• 23:22
  Speaker 5: You're in trouble. Handle with kids. Back to making your morning.
• 23:26
  Speaker 5: And Nelly and the club. I love this show.
• 23:29
  Speaker 6: On 947.