Latest / Student Ministry: What They Don't Teach You / Episode #8 - Vision Is Easy. Culture Is Hard.
Transcript
- Episode #8: know, Blake, I'm a I'm a football guy and you know one of the biggest things in sports, especially when a new coach gets into a program is Learning how to set a new culture, and that carries over to ministry as well. I remember when I first got to where I am, the church I'm at right now, you walk into a new building with a new group of people, the first thing you want to know is what do you believe? what where are we going? What does this look like for us? And so learning how to cast vision but also set a culture, it can make or break a ministry within the first couple of years because it's This is when people begin to buy in to you and also not only buy in, but they also learn what they're buying into. And so I think today, man, we can have a really good conversation on casting vision, but also setting culture in ministry. Yeah. So just to clarify some of the terms we're st we're throwing around is like obviously vision and culture. So when you talk when I think about vision, I'm thinking about discipleship strategies, the nerdy part of it, mine is like for our student ministry. We want students to know their faith, take ownership of their faith, go make their faith known. We have graphics that go with it. It's all pretty, all the stuff. And so I could stand on a stage and tell parents, you know, hey, our vision is we're gonna help your students know their faith, take ownership and go make their faith known. And like that all sounds good, but like, okay. And you and I like that's important too. I don't want to just like kind of bypass that as saying like that's not important. You do need to know kind of where you're going and like what the vision of it all is, but you then need to begin to lay out how do we practically do that through, you know, our calendar. We'll talk about calendar a lot next episode, but through our calendar, through the the things that we allow. like I think culture big is like what how do we allow behavior on Wednesday nights? How do we deal with discipline? Like how do we, you know, the the core of our events? Are they fun driven? Are they really big hype events? Are they, you know, like w there's all kinds of things that go into culture. And so I just wanted to kind of clarify Casting vision is good, but that's what is our strategy. But then culture is what we allow week to week. And it's not something that you just do in one sermon series, but it's something that takes place over years, that you ultimately build with your students and with your leaders. What what do you think? Yep. Yeah, to me, I always clarify to me, vision is is telling people where we're going. Culture is telling people how we're going to get there. You know what I mean? how that's the week to week of I can cast a vision. There's a lot of people who do a great job of, man, we're gonna do all these great things, right? You know, from a football standpoint or sports standpoint, every team starts off at the beginning of the year saying we're gonna win a championship. Yeah. Right? So what what the the vision is great, everybody's got a good vision, but the culture is what makes a difference of what actually makes a champion a champion. And so the week to week of the dis the discipline and what you allow and what you don't allow and All of different things is important. And so to me, the the vision is great because you everybody needs to know where we're going. What's the end goal? What's what we're we're working towards. But your culture is the week to week, day to day of saying, This is what we're doing. This is how we're gonna do it and this is what we're gonna allow. And so I know for me, y you know, when I first got here, I've been for seven and a half years of of the church I'm at in Mississippi. And you know, when I first got there, they read they didn't have a youth pastor for a year and a half. they had an elder who's also a parent who was just kind of being the interim. And so I remember one of the first things he told me is like Brandon, when you get here, you know, you need to, you know, sc come up with a fresh name. Like just kind of like it it's just revamp the whole thing. It needs a new identity. And so I begin to like work through what does what what do I want our youth group to be? What what like what is the culture that I want to set? And so my mindset was like I want I I want to create a youth group that obviously the same culture as our church, but like I want a youth group that It is not built around just one demographic of people. I want people from all walks of life, the band kids, the athletes, the, you know, the choir kid, you know, that loves anime, all of them that feel like they have a home they can come to. And so we we bread, you I came with the name the tribe because, you know, it comes off of biblical, like, you know, every nation, every tongue, every tribe will confess. And so like we wanted that to be like a place where everybody here on earth can come to worship together and be and be what. And so I began to flesh that out, right? Here's the vision of what I want our youth group to be. Right. And so I cast that vision with my leaders and my parents and my students when I first got here. And then I begin to set the culture, right? The roadmap of of this is what this looks like. Right. And so what that looks like a lot of time in culture is you know, you said it earlier, you know, all your little phrases and stuff. I tell people all the time, until they're sick of hearing it, you haven't said it enough. Right. Say it so much they're sick of hearing it. When they say, All right, Brandon, we get it. All right, now you finally are just on the entry level of understanding because I need everybody to be on the same page. And so setting your culture is like when kids start rough housing and fighting with each other and all these different things. Like when you're saying, hey, we want to be a a group that everybody feels welcome and everybody can, you know, can work out their differences, then are you setting the culture of saying when y'all have an issue, we're going to sit you down together and have these conversations on how to work this out, right? are you setting the culture of of saying that I want anybody who walks in the door to feel like this is their family. Right? Are you stressing that to your leaders? Are you stressing that to your from the pulpit? Are you telling your kids, hey, we are one big happy family? Right. And you're gonna be best friends. But I want people to feel welcomed and feel love. Are you teaching your kids to go sit and talk to that person at a school that everybody else makes fun of and calls weird? Like, what are you doing that are telling people again? This is where we're going, but this is how we're going to get there. Day to day, these are the things that we're working towards to make sure that we're living out this this vision. we've cast and to me that's the important part of culture. And something I'll add on, and this may be a little controversial, but like when I think of culture and I think of like what your week to week looks like, I think if you're building something, your Wednesday night program and your Sunday morning program that looks vastly different than the rest of the church, that's not a healthy culture. Because what I think you're doing is you're building your own church outside of what your big church is. And then when your students graduate and then they go somewhere else and they're like, Wait, we don't drive golf we don't have golf cart races every Wednesday night? What do we wait, wait, what what do you mean? We don't have a you know, a milkshake bar every Wednesday what do you mean? It's like what why I'm just coming I'm just coming for service in a small group? Like what? so like and like and and and hear me, like we had like I'm about to next week we're having a mechanical bull for our fifth quarter. So like By no mean are shots fired on anybody that's doing anything. I do think we enjoy fun. I I think that those things are okay, but if your every single week is a theme night, is a some kind of food that's trying to get them there. If it's if you're always winning them with these things to to your church, you're not building a super healthy culture because the second they graduate out and they go to little bitty church, you know, at the college that they're going to. And they don't offer those things, if that's all they've ever known, they're gonna be like, wait, you want me to listen to a 30-minute Bible study and then go to a small group? What? This is weird. I I don't know, that's maybe controversial. Student pastors may disagree with me, but remember like your Wednesday nights should look very similar to what they're gonna experience outside of student ministry. Now, are there things we tweak and do differently? Yes, but I think you should build a culture that is not completely opposed to what big church is, so students can make that transition more naturally. into a college young adult and then ultimately the big church ministry. Does that make sense? No, that makes perfect sense, man. I think you're right. Like I said, learning to set a healthy culture. And you've got to know what you want, right? Like you can't don't just be out here casting vision without a game plan. You know what I mean? Like don't be saying hey all right family but go on a road trip. We're going to California. All right well cool. What's the like what are we doing? How are we gonna get there? I don't know. I didn't think that far. Like Don't be cast in vision if you do not have a clear understanding of what you want the culture to be. Because then what's going to end up happening is you're going to your culture has to be clear and it has to be the standard has to be the standard. Right. And so I love that. That is a you know another sports term, right? When it's when that means the standard is the standard. That means is like no matter what you're feeling that day, no matter what, you know, you know, what's going on. The standard, the culture has to be the standard. And so what you allow and what you say this is it, no matter if it's January, December, anytime in between, well, the culture you set, you have to abide by. Because the moment your culture becomes fluid, and the moment the kids and the leaders know, well, he's not even taking his culture seriously or his standard seriously, then nobody's gonna that then nobody knows what the standard is. And so the beautiful thing about my my ministry is that I when I said, Hey, this is what we're doing, this is who we are, this is the standard. They know at any day of the week this is the standard. They know this this is okay. This is what Brandon expects. And they have to be okay with that. And so you have to make sure whatever you put in place and the culture you're creating, you abide by it. Don't bend it. Now we understand that there's some great areas in ministry, like everything is not just black and white. You have to deal with certain things. But overall, when a new kid walks into your youth group, right? Or your k do your kids know the culture? To that kid's gonna be like, okay, they can they can feel it, they know right off the bat, like what can be allowed, what's not gonna be allowed, because your other kids are walking by that. And so as you as you create the culture and you've set that standard from a discipline standpoint, from a a a cultural, a social standpoint, all those different things, a spiritual standpoint. When you set that culture and you abide by it, you're training your kids up to know like this is the standard I'm what you want to raise them up to, and and it's okay for your culture. To to be a something that needs to be obtained to. I think a lot of times we take it easy on kids and we just say, well, this is where my kids are. And so I want to set this culture to basically where they are. No, no. Are you giving them something to strive for, to raise the bar to? and and we we fall into that trap too, Blake, because we want everybody to to love us and we want everybody to show up. And so we lower the standard, we lower the culture. we set a low bar for the culture just so everybody can be there and nobody can be offended. But then are we setting these kids up for success? Because the church and their job one day and their college is going to set a standard. They're going to have a culture. And if you don't live up to it, they don't care. Like they they know that you have to strive towards something. So we should be teaching them to strive towards these things right now as well. And just as we're kind of moving towards our wrap up here, like just to add on. So we we've been really talking about students understanding the culture, which I think is pivotal, and that's really why we do what we do. But We can't really establish a culture if we don't have adults alongside of us preaching that same culture and living that out. I can say that we're gonna discipline, we're gonna make sure that kids are focused and paying attention, but if I've not equipped the parents to see that or do that or my leaders, volunteers to do that, then it ain't gonna happen. And so just a simple little thing that I do with my leaders on Wednesday night, whenever I'm preaching to my middle schoolers, I I say to my adults every single Wednesday night, it's almost like they're sick of hearing it probably. And I'll say, all right, because when we dismiss, high school goes upstairs for small groups, middle school stays down for their Bible study to kick off. And so I'll say, all right, middle schoolers, make your way down to the front and move towards the middle. Adults, if you'd help me, sit amongst our friends so that we can have good listening tonight. You know, this is that's just something they know, the kids know. Adults are gonna come sit amongst me to make sure that I'm listening. And then what I tell my adults is while I'm talking, I don't need to be the one to correct them from while I'm talking. I can and I don't mind doing it, but I'm telling you when I pull point at little Johnny and I say, Hey Johnny, I need you to pay attention, he's zoned out. He ain't listening to me the rest of the time. but if you come and you tap him on the shoulder, Hey Johnny, pay attention. He's mad at you and that's okay, but I need him to hear what I'm saying. But then what I tell them is when you go up to small group and if you little Johnny's being a little turd for you too, you t text me, I'll come in there, Johnny, come here. And I pull Johnny out and then I correct Johnny, I send him back in the room and then He's gonna he's mad at me, which that's fine, but he's gonna listen to you. And so again, that's part of that culture of, hey adults, have my back while I'm trying to teach the word of God and trying to do this, and I'm gonna have your back. So students in our area know I can't really act up. I I'm like for the next twenty minutes, I gotta pay attention because it's gonna be called out and it's gonna be but but again, like we're like I was just trying to to emphasize, it's not just me setting the culture, but it's kind of filtering it to the adults to help do that culture as well. and so as we wrap up, what are your kind of closing thoughts on this? Yeah, man, culture is important. cash and vision is is important as well. Knowing where you're going and helping people understand that. But the if you don't have a healthy culture in your ministry, if you're not setting the standard and and teaching them what the standard is and holding them accountable to that standard and to that culture, you're gonna have a hard time having long-term success. And so that's what we want, man. We want people to not just The flashes in the pan. We want ministries to thrive and having a healthy culture, and and and setting the standard and and allowing your leaders to come and be a part of that is important. And so last thing I was thinking about while you were talking, you know, we just had our our trunk retreat last night at our church and one of my leaders looking for me because they had a you know a young family and they had a teenager there and they were asking about midweek and stuff. And so she was like, Hey, she asked some questions and I jokingly but very seriously said, You don't need me. You like you know this, like you know everything. was I've taught you the culture. she was Yeah, I know. And I'm sure enough, I went over there and spent time talking to this, this mom and this, the the dad and all this stuff. And the leader was right next to him. She's Brandon I could have done that. I was I like that's the whole point is that you understand the culture as well as I do. Because I've trained you that way. You know what we believe. You know why we do what we do and all different things. And so that that's what you want, man. You want not only yourself but all your leaders air and all your core kids. Everybody who's there should know the vision Where are you headed and how you're going to get there and the accountability and the culture that you've created? Love it. Love it. And so hopefully that was helpful. if if you still have questions on culture or whatever, please hit us up. We'd love to help you. I don't know that we've done this, but I'm just gonna throw it out, Brandon. You don't have to. If you ever have questions, you can always email me. My email is Blake B L A K E at F B C like First Baptist Church, F B C Hawton, H A U G H T O N dot org. Please email me anytime questions, things. I love to visit with student pastors. It's one of my favorite things I get to do. so feel free to reach out if you have questions. We'd love to help you. but we are looking forward to our next episode. I teased it at the beginning. We're gonna be talking about your quit calendar is telling on you. So does your schedule reflect what you claim matters? All right. That's it. Catch y'all on the next episode. the one. Yeah.