Latest / The IDEA SANDWICH Podcast / Stop Asking Terrible Questions
Transcript
- Ara Topouzian: To make a great sandwich, you need great ingredients and the same goes for your work and yourself. The way you layer them, balance them, and maybe even toast them a little. That's what makes something memorable. I'm Ara Tapusian and this is the idea sandwich, where we mix the right layers of creativity, business, and life to make something worth biting into. Have you ever been trapped in one of those conversations where after 30 seconds you're mentally looking for the nearest fire exit? Not because the other person is boring, well, maybe a little bit because they're boring, but because you're both asking the same exact terrible questions. So what do you do? Where are you from? How's work? And before you know it, you're hearing about someone's commute, the weather. And how busy they've been. the last one always gets me. Well, congratulations. You've just had the same conversation that millions of people have every single day. And the truth is, we ask terrible questions. Not because we're bad conversationalists, because we've inherited the same safe, predictable script. Admit it, we've all done that. The problem is, predictable questions produce. predictable answers. Answers which require as much thought as the question. None. You don't learn who someone is. You learn what they put on LinkedIn. Now, hosting podcasts has taught me something. I've interviewed entrepreneurs, artists, venture capitalists, musicians, nonprofit leaders, and even a few politicians. And I've noticed something. The moment people stop talking about what they do and start talking about what excites them, that's when the real conversation begins. So today I want to share what I think are some thoughtful questions to ask someone. The first one I've come to love what's something you've been excited about lately? I like this question because it gives permission to talk about what energizes them. The answers tell you so much more than a job title ever could. Then when they answer, don't move on. Stay curious and ask another question. How did you get into that? Think about it. Every passion has an origin story. Maybe it started with a grandparent or a teacher, or it's a book that they read years ago. People love telling stories, and this question invites them to do exactly that. Suddenly you're no longer making small talk. You're discovering what shapes someone's life. Here's another one I use a lot. What keeps you busy outside of work? I like this one because it reminds you that none of us are defined solely by our careers. Someone might be coaching in Little League, volunteering at their church, learning a new language, playing music, training for a marathon, or just trying to survive raising teenagers. Those are the things that reveal who people really are. And finally, one of the most positive questions you can ask someone what are you looking forward to? I love this question because everyone has something. Whether it's a vacation, retirement, seeing their grandkids this weekend, maybe it's simply getting through a busy season and taking a breath. Whatever the answer, you're inviting someone to think about hope instead of stress. That's a pretty good gift to give another person. I've learned that interesting conversations don't happen because you're the most interesting person in the room. They happen because you're the most curious. People rarely remember exactly what you said, but they almost always remember how you made them feel. You've heard me say this before. So if you've made them feel heard, if you've made them feel interesting, if you gave them the chance to tell a story that they don't get to tell very often. They remember the conversation long after they've forgotten what business card you handed them. So here's my challenge for you this week. The next time you're meeting someone, whether it's at work, a networking event, a coffee shop, or just standing in line, skip the usual script. Ask a better question. You might make a new friend. You might learn something unexpected, or you might simply remind someone that their story matters because everyone has one. They may just be waiting for someone curious enough to ask. Thank you for joining me for another episode of The Idea Sandwich. I'm Ara Tapusian. Until next time, ask better questions.