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Voddie Baucham - The Family Matters Q&A Pt. 2 · Voddie Baucham Sermons

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  Speaker 1: To the early Sunday school movement it caught on and
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  Speaker 1: it grew a couple of objections a couple of warnings
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  Speaker 1: warning number one was if we are not careful we're
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  Speaker 1: going to begin to apply this to the children of
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  Speaker 1: Christian parents and if we do that eventually you'll have
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  Speaker 1: people who are not catechizing their kids so here we are.
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  Speaker 2: So again, they overly trusted that system, that program to
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  Speaker 2: teach their kids about Christ, to indoctrinate them, and the
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  Speaker 2: parents relinquished that, abdicated their God-given right. All right, not
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  Speaker 2: necessarily a physical family question, but a church family question.
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  Speaker 2: Within church community, should younger adults correct older adults through Scripture?
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  Speaker 1: Well, you know... young men are to treat older men
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  Speaker 1: as fathers, right? Get older women as mothers. And there's
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  Speaker 1: a way, there's a way that you approach a father.
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  Speaker 1: There's a way that you approach a mother. And I
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  Speaker 1: think the problem comes not when there is an error
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  Speaker 1: in the life of an older person that a younger
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  Speaker 1: person sees, but it comes when we ignore those distinctions.
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  Speaker 1: It comes when we ignore the fact that we're approaching
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  Speaker 1: a father or that we're approaching a mother. That's when
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  Speaker 1: the difficulty comes. I don't think anybody has a problem
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  Speaker 1: when we understand the proper approach and the proper respect
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  Speaker 1: that we're to have.
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  Speaker 2: So, Attitude, demeanor, perhaps less public as possible.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely. Just like you would a father. You know,
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  Speaker 1: just like you would a father.
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  Speaker 2: All right, what are practical forms of discipline at different ages? Again,
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  Speaker 2: what are practical forms of discipline at different ages? When
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  Speaker 2: is too old to possibly spank?
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  Speaker 1: So... Practical forms of discipline in different ages. Remember, there's
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  Speaker 1: a continuum. And I'm going to assume that this was
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  Speaker 1: asked yesterday. Because, you know, all of those things, none
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  Speaker 1: of those things, none of those things would be changed
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  Speaker 1: by age. Right?
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: Encouraging proper behavior, informing of improper behavior, rebuking, restraining. I mean,
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  Speaker 1: none of those things. None of those things. You might
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  Speaker 1: change the language that you use. You might change your
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  Speaker 1: approach or whatever, but you're still going to do all
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  Speaker 1: of those things. So when it comes to corrective discipline,
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  Speaker 1: and specifically when it comes to spanking your children, There
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  Speaker 1: does come a point with our children where that's no
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  Speaker 1: longer the tool that we use. And I get asked
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  Speaker 1: this question a lot, and my children would like to
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  Speaker 1: know the answer to this question. My philosophy is you
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  Speaker 1: never tell the enemy when you plan to withdraw your forces.
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  Speaker 1: Because then they'll just wait until that day and go crazy, right? Yeah. So, no.
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  Speaker 1: There does come a point when your child reaches a
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  Speaker 1: certain level of maturity and your interaction with them. And
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  Speaker 1: what you'll notice is it's not... Here's the problem. We
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  Speaker 1: treat spanking like it's our only tool, right? It's our
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  Speaker 1: only tool. When you use this tool, when you don't
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  Speaker 1: use this tool, and we're afraid of not having this
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  Speaker 1: tool because it's our only tool, right? But when you
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  Speaker 1: understand these other tools that we have, this formative discipline
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  Speaker 1: that we have, and when you use that as the gauge,
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  Speaker 1: what we do is we are able to increase the
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  Speaker 1: effectiveness of of the formative discipline to the degree that
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  Speaker 1: our children mature.
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: We're able to engage them in levels that we couldn't
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  Speaker 1: engage them before to the degree that they mature. And
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  Speaker 1: that's what we're looking for. Not some date on the
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  Speaker 1: calendar that says, okay, you're this old. We're missing the point. Okay?
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  Speaker 1: Our goal is for them to reach that level of
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  Speaker 1: maturity where we can engage with them more effectively on
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  Speaker 1: formative discipline and beyond that. So there's external controls and
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  Speaker 1: internal controls, okay? Our children have very low internal controls,
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  Speaker 1: and so we use external controls, right? Very low internal controls.
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  Speaker 1: You put the little plugs in the sockets because they
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  Speaker 1: don't have the internal controls in that plug. That's what
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  Speaker 1: the sockets, right? But there comes a time when through
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  Speaker 1: formative discipline, they're able to increase their internal controls. And
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  Speaker 1: that's what we want. We want them to increase their
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  Speaker 1: internal controls so that we can lay off the external controls. Okay?
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  Speaker 1: That's what maturity looks like. All right? And so the
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  Speaker 1: question is not, you know, okay, at what time does this... No.
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  Speaker 1: That's not our question and that's not our goal. Our
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  Speaker 1: goal is to see a continued increase of our child's
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  Speaker 1: internal controls so that we can decrease our use of
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  Speaker 1: external controls. And that looks different from child to child.
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  Speaker 2: All right, and perhaps in neglect of corporal punishment, many
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  Speaker 2: parents have replaced spanking or corporal punishment with removing of
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  Speaker 2: electronic devices from their kids for punishment. Do you approve
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  Speaker 2: or disapprove, or what would be your opinions?
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  Speaker 1: And I think the quote that I used from Wesley
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  Speaker 1: is very appropriate there. There may be instances wherein this
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  Speaker 1: may be effective, but that's not the point. The point
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  Speaker 1: is the Bible's clear.
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: That's the point. The Bible's clear. Folly is bound up
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  Speaker 1: in the heart of the child. And removing technology will
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  Speaker 1: drive it far from... No, that's not what the Bible teaches. Now,
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  Speaker 1: it is very appropriate and responsible and reasonable that we
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  Speaker 1: would have limits with our children when it comes to
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  Speaker 1: these things, right? And yeah, so we need to do that.
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  Speaker 1: We need to have limits. We need to teach them
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  Speaker 1: to be responsible with these things.
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  Speaker 2: I already have a few questions here regarding family, regarding children.
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  Speaker 2: Let's see, this first one is, are there situations when
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  Speaker 2: a family should take measures to stop having children? The
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  Speaker 2: sex meets, tubes tied, etc.
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  Speaker 1: When it comes to this issue, and I I appreciate
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  Speaker 1: the question this way because oftentimes people ask the question
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  Speaker 1: and they're going like, okay, how do we know how
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  Speaker 1: many children we should have or when we have enough children?
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  Speaker 1: And to me, that's getting it the wrong way around.
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  Speaker 1: I think the question that we have to ask is
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  Speaker 1: this question. Is it ever appropriate to prevent pregnancy? Is
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  Speaker 1: it ever biblically appropriate to prevent pregnancy? And if it
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  Speaker 1: would be biblically appropriate to prevent pregnancy... What would be
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  Speaker 1: biblically appropriate means to prevent a pregnancy? I think that's
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  Speaker 1: the right way to think about this. And there could
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  Speaker 1: conceivably be biblical reasons to prevent a pregnancy. And I
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  Speaker 1: always go to the classic, you know, the wife has
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  Speaker 1: had an accident and she's broke her pelvis, right? She
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  Speaker 1: has to heal. She has to want it again. If
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  Speaker 1: I'm applying biblical principles and living with my wife as
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  Speaker 1: a weaker vessel and living with her in an understanding
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  Speaker 1: manner and caring for her the way that I need to,
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  Speaker 1: then I'm not going to get my wife pregnant when
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  Speaker 1: she's got a broken pelvis that hasn't healed. You know
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  Speaker 1: what I'm saying? So the answer to that question is yes,
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  Speaker 1: there is conceivably times when you would want to prevent pregnancies.
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  Speaker 1: And then here's the other question. Okay, so how do
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  Speaker 1: we do that? And I think there's some other principles
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  Speaker 1: that we want to apply there. For example, you don't
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  Speaker 1: want to mutilate your body. Like biblically, you don't want
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  Speaker 1: to mutilate your body. You don't want to take your
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  Speaker 1: body that's functioning properly as God intended it and mutilate
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  Speaker 1: your body so that it doesn't function properly as God
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  Speaker 1: intended it. That's pretty straightforward, right? I mean, that's, you know,
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  Speaker 1: So we would have to find means that didn't violate that.
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  Speaker 1: We'd also have to find means that wouldn't allow for
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  Speaker 1: pregnancy to take place. It wouldn't allow for fertilization. And so,
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  Speaker 1: for example, some forms of birth control, some birth control
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  Speaker 1: pills are abortifacients. They would allow for fertilization, but they
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  Speaker 1: would expel the fertilized egg. There are some forms of
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  Speaker 1: birth control that allow for that. Well, that's not acceptable.
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  Speaker 1: So we need to make sure that we are thinking
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  Speaker 1: through these things biblically. And the reason that I go
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  Speaker 1: through this process as opposed to, you know, well, here,
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  Speaker 1: do this, do this, do this, do this, is because
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  Speaker 1: I think, I believe we don't want to think on
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  Speaker 1: these issues. We want rules that have loopholes so that
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  Speaker 1: we can do what we want and not feel convicted.
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  Speaker 1: So this is the process of thinking through this. We
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  Speaker 1: have biblical reason for preventing a pregnancy, right? And I'm scared.
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  Speaker 1: I don't believe we'll be able to provide for them.
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  Speaker 1: I don't believe. No, that's not. That's not. No, that's faithlessness. Faithlessness.
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  Speaker 1: It's not a biblical reason to do something.
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: So, again, that's where we start. And then, okay, what
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  Speaker 1: means are we going to employ?
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  Speaker 2: Okay?
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  Speaker 1: We can't mutilate our bodies. We don't want to do that.
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  Speaker 1: Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. I'm
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  Speaker 1: not going to mutilate the temple of the Holy Spirit.
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  Speaker 1: And then, we're not going to allow for a baby
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  Speaker 1: to be created and then expelled.
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  Speaker 2: Right?
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  Speaker 1: So, it has to be means That wouldn't involve those
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  Speaker 1: two things.
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  Speaker 2: All right, the last question pertaining to something similar there. Obviously,
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  Speaker 2: you disagree with abortion. What about fertilized embryos that are
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  Speaker 2: now frozen by Christian couples trying to have children?
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  Speaker 1: I'm not sure. What is it?
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  Speaker 2: Frozen embryo, fertilized egg that they, fertility treatments where they
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  Speaker 2: store them and then implant them. I don't know.
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  Speaker 1: That's the question.
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  Speaker 2: Do you recommend this process?
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  Speaker 1: No. Bad? Good? I don't recommend the process. There you go.
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  Speaker 1: What's the question?
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  Speaker 2: Cody does not recommend it.
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  Speaker 1: What's the question?
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  Speaker 2: All right. What do you think about Christians using vaccines
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  Speaker 2: that were made by using aborted fetuses? Last one on
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  Speaker 2: this type of issue.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. So all of those things would fall into the
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  Speaker 1: same category, right? If we don't need to be using
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  Speaker 1: forms of birth control, that are abortifacients, then we certainly
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  Speaker 1: don't want to be using aborted fetuses to vaccinate ourselves, right? That's,
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  Speaker 1: I mean, it kind of, yeah.
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  Speaker 2: All right, we just have a few quick questions here.
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  Speaker 2: Could you please speak to, give advice to mixed families,
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  Speaker 2: divorced families, mother or father is not a Christian and
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  Speaker 2: one is a Christian trying to shepherd the child? Any
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  Speaker 2: specific advice?
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  Speaker 1: Oh, sorry, sorry.
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  Speaker 2: A husband and wife have come together. They have a child,
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  Speaker 2: and they have now divorced, separated. What would be the
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  Speaker 2: advice to the mother or the husband who is a
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  Speaker 2: Christian trying to raise their child in a Christlike manner
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  Speaker 2: regarding the other who is not saved?
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  Speaker 1: Well, I think that goes back to what we talked
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  Speaker 1: about before, right? The things that we have discussed here,
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  Speaker 1: these are things that are non-negotiable, and there are no
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  Speaker 1: circumstances that render these things obsolete, okay? No matter what
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  Speaker 1: the circumstances are, We have to raise, train, disciple, mentor,
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  Speaker 1: prepare our children. We have to engage in transformative discipline,
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  Speaker 1: corrective discipline with our children. We have to do this
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  Speaker 1: to the best of our ability. There are obstacles in
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  Speaker 1: our way. Everybody has obstacles in their way. Amen? All
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  Speaker 1: of us have obstacles in our way. And what do
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  Speaker 1: we do? We overcome those obstacles. There are certain things
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  Speaker 1: that are non-negotiable. This is why we started with that
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  Speaker 1: whole idea of lifestyle evaluation, right? There are things that
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  Speaker 1: we consider non-negotiable, and we organize our lives around those things.
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  Speaker 1: We have to make sure that this is one of
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  Speaker 1: those things that we consider non-negotiable and that we organize
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  Speaker 1: our lives around it and that we make it happen
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  Speaker 1: regardless of whatever we have to do.
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  Speaker 2: All right, Voter, you have 30 seconds.
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  Speaker 1: Could you quickly.
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  Speaker 2: to summarize family integrated worship.
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  Speaker 1: Really the idea that family integration is the idea that
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  Speaker 1: there's no systematic age graded ministry work that goes on
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  Speaker 1: within the context confines of the church that the church
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  Speaker 1: is a worshiping community that we worship together and that
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  Speaker 1: we welcome all into that worship of the church and
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  Speaker 1: we don't have separate places or separate environments or experiences
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  Speaker 1: for people based on characteristics like their age, but that
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  Speaker 1: we bring the church together for worship. That's good.
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  Speaker 2: All right, it is 12 o'clock, and we do apologize
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  Speaker 2: if we did not get to your question, but he
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  Speaker 2: does have to leave and head to Boston momentarily. So
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  Speaker 2: we will end in prayer and feel free to purchase
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  Speaker 2: the books and anything back there you can. They would
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  Speaker 2: love for that to happen. And if you can catch
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  Speaker 2: him and they have a question that we did not
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  Speaker 2: get to ask, you might be able to ask him on.
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  Speaker 1: The way out.
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  Speaker 2: Let's pray and we'll be dismissed. Dearly Father, thank you
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  Speaker 2: for this wonderful time we've had to come together as
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  Speaker 2: the body of Christ, Christians, believers, submitting to the authority
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  Speaker 2: of the word of God. We thank you for voting
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  Speaker 2: and all that you've done in his life to bring
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  Speaker 2: him to this point as a teacher and as a
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  Speaker 2: speaker and to edify us today. We continue to pray
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  Speaker 2: for him. We pray for his ministry. We pray for
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  Speaker 2: his school of theology as well. We pray for the
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  Speaker 2: young men and young women that are being trained there
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  Speaker 2: in the Lord. And we pray Lord that you would
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  Speaker 2: continue to bless his ministry and raise up others who
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  Speaker 2: have the similar passions and same passions to teach and
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  Speaker 2: to preach and to raise families and raise young men
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  Speaker 2: and young ladies up to serve you. God we pray
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  Speaker 2: that as many here today have even been weighed down
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  Speaker 2: perhaps by some of the points of this topic. Help
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  Speaker 2: us to let this weight sink in. Help it to
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  Speaker 2: truly weigh us down for a moment and think on
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  Speaker 2: these things seriously as we contemplate how we are to
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  Speaker 2: instruct diligently and consistently our children in the Lord. Our
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  Speaker 2: goal is to love you with all of our heart, mind,
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  Speaker 2: and soul and help us to teach this to our
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  Speaker 2: children as well.
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  Speaker 1: In Jesus' name we pray. Amen.
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  Speaker 2: Thanks for coming. And just so you know, our next
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  Speaker 2: speaker will be Stephen Wellum in March and Justin Peters
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  Speaker 2: in May. Have a great day.