Latest / Just Us Sisters / Episode 11: Becoming Grandmothers
Transcript
- speaker-0: Welcome to the Just Us Sisters podcast. Life doesn't come with a manual, so we made a podcast. speaker-1: Hi, I'm Shelly and I am the host for episode 11, Becoming Grandmothers. I am here with my sisters, Susan, number one, Sheryl number two, and Stacey, the baby, number four. I have been looking forward to this episode mainly because we had the best examples of grandparents in Gran and Pop and Granny and Grandpa Stewart. Also, our parents have been amazing grandparents to our children. And now the torch has been passed and the three of you have taken on the honor of the name grandmother. We're going to talk about the joys that it brings to your heart. So the first question I have is at what age you became a grandmother and what is your grandmother name and how did that come about? speaker-2: My grandmother name is Yaya and I became a grand at the age of 47 and I picked Yaya because I actually wanted Cherokee but it, but when I looked it up at that time, it was like 17 letters long and I was like, oh my gosh, they'll never be able to pronounce that. Now I've looked it up the other day just to see what it was and it's a Lisi. Now I may not be pronouncing it right, but speaker-0: and mother The name for grandmother. E.L. speaker-2: Which would have been cute because I'm Cherokee Indian. But I came up with Yaya because it was to me the closest thing to mama. To mama. And I know that means a grandmother in Greek. So we'll stay with Yaya. Too late to change it now. And the age range is a little bit different because speaker-0: Yeah. I have 14. little different. Two of them came into our family later and one of them that was adopted in 2021. So, I like this one. speaker-2: the ones that came in that didn't. She's now. my oldest biological is 20 but 21 and then the youngest is 2. speaker-3: Well, I became a grandma at 42 because Sandy was 20 and my grandma name is Jammy because I wanted to have a cool grandma name that I haven't heard very often and when I think of a basketball I think of someone jamming that ball through the hoop. So I decided I'm gonna be Jammy. So I only have three so I can even say one's 22, one's 20 and one's 19. speaker-1: I- speaker-4: single. going to give all three of them at Texas State University. Hey, I also became a grandma at 42. I have 14 grandkids and they range from almost eight months all the way to, I want to say 26. Wow. But I also have three great grandchildren and they are from a few months to speaker-2: Definitely. speaker-4: nine, I believe. So yeah, those ranges are crazy. And that's like Susan, it's due to getting bonus grandkids and enjoying that. And my grandma's name is Kiki and my kids picked that for me. I actually asked if I could be sassy, but ⁓ they said no Kiki. So I'm TT until they're about two and a half, three, and then it becomes Kiki again. speaker-3: That's better than poo poo. speaker-2: Yeah, that's true. Or Shannon. speaker-3: or shammin'. speaker-4: I don't wanna be shit. speaker-1: That went out next no, please. speaker-2: Well, Mammal at first came up with Mamu or something like that, was real different. And Tom kept calling her Shamu instead of Mamu and that ended the Mamu. speaker-4: I bet it did. speaker-2: It did. It was a for me too. speaker-3: It almost ended Tom. speaker-4: That's a whole nother podcast. speaker-2: ⁓ my god. speaker-1: three of you becoming a grandmother feel different than becoming a parent, a mother. speaker-3: Well, for me, it's almost like a miracle from God to see your kid having a kid. And the amazing thing is, is I'm not responsible to feed it, clothe it, and shelter it. So it's even better. ⁓ speaker-2: I agree and that they have features of your kids and you or your husband and it's those features are so prominent sometimes. But for me, I think I get to spoil the speaker-0: them and send them home so it makes it a lot speaker-2: more fun than when I was a parent. speaker-4: Yeah, I agree with both of you. So it's just the miracle of watching your kids become parents and the attention that they give to their children and, seeing a lot of the things that you did, the good, the bad, and the ugly come out there too. But seeing that and then seeing things that they do and then the traditions and, then the part where we're not responsible for them. We can give them candy and sweets and all of that and not have to stay at home most of the time. Yeah, sometimes, sometimes we have to stay up, but and one of the best parts and nobody talks about this, I don't think is when they're sick and their parents can't take off from work and we can, cause you know, we have days built up, we get to do a really neat thing there. Just be there for them. And those are the snuggle days, you know, and I miss that with my own kids. speaker-2: They're there now. speaker-1: Did any of y'all have expectations or think you were going to be one way as a grandmother and in reality you're different? speaker-2: I think for me, I thought they would all be wrong. And they're not, they're spread out. Noah's family's in Oklahoma, which is seven and half, eight hours away. then Samuel's family is still outside of Houston, but it's still a one and a half hour, two hour drive to get. speaker-0: here. ⁓ Bam. there. So that's my only thing that speaker-2: that I was kind of expecting that they would all be here so I could go by, pick them up from school and take them somewhere, go have lunch with them or whatever. speaker-0: Now there's four that are here. speaker-2: and I'm able to do that with those. I go visit the others, of course, I get to do those. It's just not what I thought it was gonna be. speaker-0: things, but it's speaker-4: Yeah, I'm with you, Susan. thought, I guess in my head, I always thought my kids would live close and I'm thankful that they don't. They've moved to be close to their wives, families, and that's, I feel like how it should be. So I feel like I do miss out on things on the ones that aren't right here, but I do have three that are right here in the area and one that's pretty close and another that's two and a half hours away. But the others are off pretty far. speaker-3: kind of felt like I would be a fun grandma. But I was also a little nervous that if I had little guys that wanted to read all the time, I didn't know how I was going to handle that. But the Lord knows what we need. And I was thankful that I have three grandsons that like to play all sports and have fun and do things also that we enjoy doing. No. speaker-4: You don't enjoy reading, Sheryl? speaker-2: You're missing out on some good children's butt. speaker-4: Yeah, I have some grandkids that love to read and I love to buy them books. speaker-2: Yeah, right. For your great grandkids. Never know. speaker-3: I'll look into them. Hey, you never know. speaker-1: What's something you swore you would never do as a grandmother but have already done? speaker-2: ⁓ boy. ⁓ I'm interested to hear what y'all have to say on that one. You know, it's hard not to compare and kids, you know, like different kids, different ages or were at different ages, but that's something that, that I wish I didn't do, but it's, it's easy to do to just compare. Now, one thing that I said I would never do and I have never done because it happened with our grandparents. speaker-0: prepare your Good. where they speaker-2: And that was one of them have favorites and kids. speaker-0: and the kids knew who the favorite was. speaker-2: And I didn't want to any part of that. So. ⁓ speaker-4: It was Sheryl. Sheryl was the... speaker-2: Sheryl was the favorite. speaker-3: I feel sorry for me. speaker-2: But yeah, it would be. speaker-0: pairing. speaker-4: think mine is I never wanted to compete with the other grandparents. And I don't think I do because you can't compete. It's not a competition. I am thankful that my kids all have their grandparents. mean, yeah, all of their grandparents first set. But it still does sit in the back of your mind or my mind sometimes on how close they get to be and be at different events, especially for the ones that are further away. speaker-2: Thanks. speaker-1: So what's something about modern parenting that has shocked you? speaker-3: I want to answer that. Now this is not from Sandy and Jacob because they really have done a great job with the boys. But what I've been seeing is nobody like spanks anymore. And man, I think that that's what's missing in schools. And I'm not talking about beating them. We got spanked or I did. And I just think that we need to do more of that. And I'm probably going to say most people disagree with that, but that's what I think. speaker-2: Well, I think we were raised too in a time period. speaker-0: that the saying was children and not heard. speaker-2: to be seen. And so that I think is way that way. But I think speaker-0: and modern parenting are bringing it way too far this way and giving way too much stay. speaker-2: the children in too many things. think because everyone speaker-0: There's a middle ground and wants to be heard and everyone wants to be seen. So there's a middle ground there. Hope that a lot of the parents can come to that place. speaker-2: And I speaker-1: The pendulum swung too far. speaker-0: too far. speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-4: Yeah, I think mine is the and this is going to sound crazy coming from me and I don't think my kids do it at all, but the all in we're gonna be at a sporting event four hours a night that we're going to be traveling every weekend thinking that they're going to get their child some kind of scholarship when they're seven. I think that takes a lot of childhood away and I don't know If parents are living through their kids or I don't know what it is. Maybe they didn't get to do that when they were young or maybe that's how they were brought up. I don't know, but it's a all in everything revolves around the kids. speaker-2: Hmm. speaker-1: So two of you have grandchildren that are a good distance away. So I would think technology these days would really come in handy in that regard with FaceTime and stuff like that. Share a little bit about that. speaker-0: Well, a friend of mine told me about this lamp. speaker-2: that you plug in, you have a lamp and your grandchildren have a lamp. And every time you think about them, you... speaker-0: children. you touch the lamp at your home and it's at their home. speaker-2: Now this is a different kind of technology, right? But I just wanted her to know how I thought about her. I gave it to Presley. She's one of my friends in Oklahoma. And I just thought it was a way to let her know that I was thinking of her because she didn't have a phone. No. Grandkids. speaker-0: often I find. She was my granddaughter's epitome. the coolest way to let her know. Matter of fact, none of my kids had a phone until they were 12 or 13. So if I call the parents and FaceTime, being able to see their face, realize their speaker-2: we wanted to see them right, we would call. which is huge, just spaces. But then I also realized attention span is about two minutes. And then they're off and running and gone. And it's like, ⁓ man, they didn't want to talk to me. But then I realized, no, that's just a kid. speaker-4: Yeah. I've never heard of that lamp. I love that idea. same as Susan, we love to FaceTime with them. We don't get to FaceTime with them enough. They're just active. You know, all of them are real active and that makes it tough. And then when we do get to FaceTime with them, they're interested. They tell us what they want to tell us and then they're gone. And where they start like wrestling or, you know, I don't know. Yeah. And so anytime we get. speaker-2: and silly. speaker-4: face-to-face or on the phone with the ones that are further away is priceless. speaker-2: Yes. speaker-0: Absolutely. speaker-3: I have to use FaceTime that much, What we enjoy and it's probably borderline unhealthy. don't know, but we enjoy life 360 because we're all on it. And if I'm going down to San Antonio, I'll get a text from Cody or one of the grandkids. Hey, where are you going? I see that you just moved to San Marcos and that kind of makes you feel good. And then, you know, of course on the way back, we'd like to have breakfast with you. So I can look and see, they all look like they got in at like two or three in the morning. They might not want to have breakfast, but they always do. They always show up if we go down and take them to breakfast or lunch. But I also used it a couple of times. There was very few times we didn't go to their game, maybe two, and we would watch it on the game changer. And that was, that was neat, but I'm glad I'd rather watch it in person. speaker-4: Y'all track everyone, speaker-3: Yeah, we were that. speaker-2: I that is borderline unhealthy. speaker-4: think it's about itself. speaker-3: I'll be driving down 35 to like Salado or Temple and Sandy will say, Hey, could you stop and get me a Starbucks and drop it off at the school? ⁓ man. speaker-2: Creepy. ⁓ I don't want my kids to know that much. speaker-1: One for their nice birthday and for their high school graduation on trip and I'm just curious if how many of y'all continued that for Jason and if you did just tell us a little bit about those trips. speaker-2: Well, sure enough at nine because they didn't take mine till 10. I don't know, but, ⁓ we did, we did continue that tradition at 10. We've had some trips. speaker-0: My kids must have not been Amazing, very special memory. speaker-2: With Luke, we went to San Francisco. With Brady, we went to Boston. With Owen, went to Disney. And then we had a privilege of taking Griffin and Presley on a cruise with a lot of their aunts and uncles. And then Elijah went to Yosemite hiking with us and his second cousin. And Alba just came back last week, two weeks ago from DC. speaker-0: and cash to do The Very special trips, very good memories. speaker-3: We were on a teacher's salary. So we said, you can go somewhere for one weekend in Texas within two or three hours from Austin. So we took Cody to that Wolf Lodge and then Mason wanted to go see the Cowboys play. So it was me and Mason. And we went to see the Cowboys. That was a lot of fun though. That was one of my favorite trips. And then Hayden, we took him to see the Astros and Texas Rangers. So yeah, we couldn't do the... We do high school. speaker-2: We don't. We have 14-grain kids. We do not do high school. speaker-3: We do, but Cody chose Hawaii and I was like, woo, good. Cause I never had been there. And then Mason just wanted a few rounds of golf. He's not a big traveler. And then we're still waiting on Hayden. yeah. speaker-4: Right. My kids that have been to Hawaii went with me and mom and papa. I've never been. So hopefully one of mine will choose a graduation trip there. We have not done the nine-year-old trip. We took Cooper to see Brandon and his family when we went out there and then we went to Seattle on a work trip. He went on a work trip with me and Casey came too. So we had a lot of fun, but we want to. We're going to, but we're definitely doing the graduation trip. speaker-3: really is neat. You can really get to know your grandkids when you are one-on-one in Hawaii or somewhere like that. It's fun. speaker-4: Well, and it was very evident this past weekend, Jordan was talking about his graduation trip and that has lasting impact on them or any of them. speaker-2: Yes it does. speaker-1: What values and traditions do you hope to pass down to your grandkids? speaker-0: I hope that mine love their family. speaker-2: that make family priority. speaker-0: love God and serve Him and serve and love Him with all their hearts, minds and souls and love others as themselves. That's hope for great speaker-2: his church. what I would pray and hope for my kids. speaker-3: I hope that mine and Johnny's Christian values have been passed down, our love of people, and just we've enjoyed taking the boys and sending Jacob and Kayla and John on one summer trip a year. And we get to know everybody so well during that time. And I just hope that the Lord continues to allow us to take that trip with them. speaker-4: Yeah, that's a big thing. So with both Susan and Sheryl. I want my grandkids to love the Lord and to love their family. That's so important, ⁓ that family love. ⁓ then to be joyful, you know, to have joy. You see so many families that don't get along or have been broken. And I don't want that. I want my grandkids to know each other, cousin, bond, like our kids had and like we had. with our cousins. But also we do take a family trip every summer and then every other summer everyone comes and that's so important because we get to see our kids, the parents, and we get to see our grandkids and how they are as well and that's so much fun. speaker-2: I think it's in this day and time to keep families together so that the cousins, you know, we have different children and speaker-0: think it's harder and harder in this that cousins do know the cousin. Three of them are married and have children. It's important to me that those cousins know each other. And having all the cousins come speaker-2: And. other. I've heard of grandmothers doing because we can come in and have a special time just for and things. But that's why I like the we do speaker-0: planned out for the cousins. family trips. We were doing one every summer. To get older, it's harder and harder to get all of them together. And sad to me, but I know that this is how life is. speaker-2: her and as they get more our schedules together. It's hard to do that. So just working around everyone's schedule. speaker-4: mom and dad do it? I mean, mom was like, and still is, hey, this is our Christmas. This is our Thanksgiving. And we all kind of just fell in line. And luckily, our spouses did too. But pretty nothing. Yes. speaker-2: Cut. speaker-1: Well, that's speaker-2: Well, my kids kind of do that too. They show up when there's... speaker-0: I fell in line with that. on our certain Christmas or our gifts outside. And twice a year to me is not enough time for all. I agree. speaker-2: certain things, but it's outside of those times. kids to connect. And I'm talking about cousins. speaker-0: Well, even our kids. And so it's so important to me outside of holidays for them to do that. And if that means us setting up the time to do it, a couple of mine get together on their own. speaker-2: to do without me having this. But it's just what's. speaker-0: set it up. that's even that's good too. important to you, you know? speaker-4: Sounds like we need to schedule a long weekend camping trip for the family. ⁓ speaker-3: Have fun. speaker-1: That would be nearly impossible. speaker-2: Yes, it would. speaker-4: Let's do that at Lake Belton. speaker-1: Now I know that our grandparents, the lesson that I learned from them was just their support of us and all our endeavors. And like Sheryl mentioned in another episode, they would make the drive down from Oklahoma to see a basketball game. And I see that in each of you and your support, your grandchildren and whatever their endeavors are, whether it's reading or, or athletics. And so what do you hope your grandchildren will remember about you? speaker-2: that I was present. I want them to know. speaker-0: know that when they're here, I'm here, because I'm still working and it would be very easy. speaker-2: when they come to be working. speaker-0: need to set that aside and let them know how much of a priority they are. I would be willing to set aside work. So I want to be present. speaker-2: to me that I've. speaker-4: Yeah, that's the same. And that I'm interested in how they did or how they're doing as well. When we're not together, I want to know what's going on, how they are. We make it a point to go out. The kids in California swim and they're all pretty good and they make it to the championship and it's in July and it's hot and it's all day long. But Casey and I love to go for that weekend because we get to see them and watch them swim. And then this weekend, we were hoping to go to Reno to watch Madison, our granddaughter, and Callie play volleyball. It just didn't work out, but we're gonna get to one of her tournaments soon. The other kids either aren't old enough yet or we go to everything that they do. speaker-3: would hope that they know that I love them more than almost anything. And that I would do anything if they needed me to do anything. And also that I was fine. speaker-1: But is there a moment where you thought, wow, that's karma in seeing your children now raise children? speaker-4: Don't ever tell your children that you hope that they have a child just like them because they will. And you do get them for weekends and you feel like deja vu like, oh my gosh, this is like 20 or 30 years ago. So I think that's the biggest one is, you know, when your kids are acting up, you're like, I hope you have a kid that acts just like you. speaker-3: Don't do that. You didn't say that. speaker-4: ⁓ I'm positive I did at least one. speaker-2: What interesting. speaker-0: is when one of your kids has a kid of your other. speaker-2: like one person. you know, like my old, his second son is lot like my son's. And I just think it's hilarious to me. speaker-4: Yeah. I think that's just second child anyways, Susan, But that is kind of funny. speaker-2: Yeah, I think you're right. speaker-1: Tell me in one word how you would describe grandparenthood. speaker-0: Joyful. speaker-3: Satisfaction. speaker-1: think I know what Sheryl's is, your signature grandma move that you always do. speaker-3: Yeah. speaker-4: everywhere all the time. speaker-3: ⁓ They know that that's my move. they said, you going to the deuce? Hey, you're not throwing the deuce in the picture. Get the deuce up. Yeah. speaker-4: Not just one two speaker-2: too. speaker-3: Yeah, that's why it's deuce. Now, what's your move? speaker-2: No deuces here! No moves! speaker-4: don't think I have a movie either. speaker-3: Remember what Green's was? speaker-4: What? speaker-1: ⁓ that was mom's too. speaker-3: ⁓ mom adopted it. ⁓ speaker-1: This has been fun. If life provides the opportunity for me to be a grandmother one day, I just hope I can be as good a grandmother as you guys are. Thanks for sharing your experiences. Stacey will be hosting our next episode, What We Learned and Unlearned from Our Parents. That one might get a little spicy. speaker-4: can't wait for that one. speaker-1: then, life is messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thanks for listening. speaker-0: Don't forget to speaker-2: Get to Like speaker-0: Share speaker-1: Comment speaker-4: Subscribe! speaker-3: Bye! speaker-4: you