Latest / DA CREW Podcast / DELAYED BUT NEVER DENIED | DA CREW PODCAST 2ND MONDAY & 4TH THURSDAY 8PM EST

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DELAYED BUT NEVER DENIED | DA CREW PODCAST 2ND MONDAY & 4TH THURSDAY 8PM EST · DA CREW Podcast

0:58
Speaker 1: Gentlemen, I have your attention. Please the show stops it
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Speaker 1: Liay seven six Hill Shoot fun Go.
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Speaker 2: Good evening and welcome to another episode of Delay but
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Speaker 2: Not Denied the podcast where I am your host, Latanya
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Speaker 2: little John. Tonight, we will be discussing caring for an
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Speaker 2: aging parent. But before I start, I would like to
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Speaker 2: read a Bible verse that I found concerning your parents
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Speaker 2: and it's Proverbs twenty three and twenty two. Listen to
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Speaker 2: your father who gave you life, and do not despise
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Speaker 2: your mother when she is old. So those close to
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Speaker 2: me know that my mom right now is in the hospital.
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Speaker 2: She is on her third trip to at a hospital
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Speaker 2: stay this year. She's dealing with Louis body dementia, Parkinson's disease,
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Speaker 2: and neuropathy. Right now, we are in the middle of
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Speaker 2: dealing with nursing home neglect. So I'm trying to do
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Speaker 2: my due diligence as her daughter to get all of
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Speaker 2: this done. The reason for my topic tonight, I'm adopted,
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Speaker 2: and a lot of people that are adopted and know
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Speaker 2: that they're adopted disconnect with their adoptive parents, where I
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Speaker 2: often have felt very disconnected from my family as a
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Speaker 2: whole being adopted. As I was saying, you know, my
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Speaker 2: mom is going through what she's going through. She's had
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Speaker 2: a couple of strokes, a couple of heart attacks. She
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Speaker 2: hasn't always been the nicest person, but lately I've been
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Speaker 2: getting aside of her that I've been longing for majority
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Speaker 2: of my life, and it's been it's been different, but
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Speaker 2: accepted to receive the love that she's given so freely
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Speaker 2: now that I've longed for my entire life. She adopted
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Speaker 2: me at eighteen months old, and so I've been trying
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Speaker 2: to win her over, I would say majority of my life,
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Speaker 2: so to be her caregiver now that she's older. My
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Speaker 2: mom is eighty four, yes, eighty four years old, God will,
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Speaker 2: and she'll be eighty five in December. Life has not
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Speaker 2: always been easy or fair for her or myself for
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Speaker 2: that matter, but we do what we can and we
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Speaker 2: try to put one foot in front of the other
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Speaker 2: and just keep moving. I also wanted to read some
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Speaker 2: things I found about caring for your elderly parent, and
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Speaker 2: it says caring for aging parents can involve managing their health, finances,
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Speaker 2: and emotional well being. It's important to involve your parents
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Speaker 2: in the planning process and prioritize communication to understand their
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Speaker 2: needs and wishes. Here are some tips for caring for
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Speaker 2: aging parents. Get help. Trying to care for parents alone
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Speaker 2: can lead to stress and burn out. Consider asking family
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Speaker 2: and friends to check in investing and monitoring technology like
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Speaker 2: alarms or GPS tracker. So for me, she has a
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Speaker 2: constant circle of myself, my son, my aunt, and a cousin,
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Speaker 2: and we all try to jump in where we can.
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Speaker 2: She also has people from her outside world from when
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Speaker 2: she used to be a caregiver. They check in on her,
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Speaker 2: and I'm forever grateful for them that the fact that
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Speaker 2: they're still keeping in touch with her long after their
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Speaker 2: parents have passed away. It also says excess home safety
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Speaker 2: work with a geriatric care coordinator to excess home safety
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Speaker 2: develop a plan to help prevent fall in other dangers. So,
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Speaker 2: right now, the hard part of my journey with this
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Speaker 2: is knowing that there's nothing that I can do to
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Speaker 2: ease her pain. She's constantly hurting. She's crying now. I've
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Speaker 2: never seen my mom cry. She's tough as nails, but
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Speaker 2: seeing her cry now and beg people not to touch
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Speaker 2: her has been really, really hard. Really hard, and this
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Speaker 2: is what I'm seeing is is possibly the beginning stages
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Speaker 2: of what's to come next, the inevitable. Prior prioritize God,
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Speaker 2: I can't talk. Communication. Communication can help strengthen your bond
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Speaker 2: and understand your parents' needs and wishes. Take care of yourself.
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Speaker 2: Caring for someone can be emotionally and physically draining, so
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Speaker 2: it's important to take care of your own health, include
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Speaker 2: your parent. Involving your parents and the planning process can
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Speaker 2: help them feel less like they're losing control. My mom
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Speaker 2: has always been one that likes to be in control
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Speaker 2: of everything, her finances, her health, just her everyday life.
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Speaker 2: And being in a situation where she's having to depend
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Speaker 2: on people to help her out has been like the
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Speaker 2: greatest struggle for her. Right now, she's not able to walk,
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Speaker 2: and she's in physical therapy, but walking is not I
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Speaker 2: guess something that she's going to be able to get
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Speaker 2: back to dealing with everything that she's dealing with the
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Speaker 2: effect that it's had on me emotionally, it's been hard
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Speaker 2: just watching her go through all of that, and as
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Speaker 2: I said before, not being able to fix any of it.
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Speaker 2: For it's definitely not easy watching her in pain and
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Speaker 2: then with her having Louis body dementia, she goes in
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Speaker 2: and out with different things in her head. She doesn't
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Speaker 2: know where she is sometimes and oftentimes she just she'll
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Speaker 2: repeat herself a lot, and I wanted to explain what
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Speaker 2: Louis body dementia was. Louis body dementia is an umbrella
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Speaker 2: term for two similar and common subtypes of dementia. Dementia
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Speaker 2: with Louis bodies and Parkinson's dementia. Both are characterized by
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Speaker 2: changes in thinking, movement, behavior, and mood. Behaviors associated with
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Speaker 2: Louis body dementia include sleep disturbances like acting out dreams,
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Speaker 2: mood psychiatric changes such as depression or apathy, cognitive fluctuations
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Speaker 2: with periods of confusion and alertness. People with LBD may
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Speaker 2: also exhibit hallucinations and delusions, leading to behaviors like believing
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Speaker 2: a loved one is an imposter of food is poisoned.
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Speaker 2: Involuntary movements such as shuffling, gait, balance problems and difficulty
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Speaker 2: with coordination also contribute to a higher to higher risk
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Speaker 2: of fall. These are things that my mom have definitely, definitely,
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Speaker 2: definitely been dealing with as far as her feeling like
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Speaker 2: somebody's out to get her. She felt like some of
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Speaker 2: the people at the nursing home was trying to unalive her.
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Speaker 2: She does have the shuffling gait where she rocks back
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Speaker 2: and forth for her steps or whatever. But sleep and
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Speaker 2: movement behaviors, acting out dreams which can include yelling or
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Speaker 2: violent movements while asleep, excessive daytime sleepiness, sleeping for long
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Speaker 2: periods of time during the day. She does that a lot,
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Speaker 2: and she sleeps so much during the day. When she's
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Speaker 2: up at night, you're trying to calm her down to
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Speaker 2: get her to relax and go to sleep. But oftentimes
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Speaker 2: it's just a battle with her, you know, not knowing
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Speaker 2: what's going on around her. So it keeps her with questions.
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Speaker 2: And it's been really hard, really really hard. And again
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Speaker 2: I was talking about the shuffling gait and balance problems,
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Speaker 2: a shuffling walk with an increased risk of fall. She
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Speaker 2: does walk with assistance as far as like a cane
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Speaker 2: or a walker. She has tremors and that's shaking or
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Speaker 2: you know, sometimes muscle stiffness, difficulty swallowing. Right now, she
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Speaker 2: doesn't have that problem. They do have her on a
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Speaker 2: soft diet where she's just eating very very soft and
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Speaker 2: fine food. She doesn't like it. She wants to eat
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Speaker 2: pig feet and chitlings, is what she told me yesterday.
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Speaker 2: But prayerfectly we'll get back to that. Hopefully she'll be
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Speaker 2: able to enjoy the things that she once enjoyed before,
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Speaker 2: you know, before again. The inevitable her cognitive and perceptual behaviors.
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Speaker 2: Mental function of fluctuations, periods of alertness and a tension
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Speaker 2: that vary throughout the day. Visual halluci nation, seeing things
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Speaker 2: that are not there, which can be detailed and sometimes interactive.
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Speaker 2: That's the hard part for me, because she's constantly telling
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Speaker 2: me that she sees these children around her and they're
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Speaker 2: playing and she's laughing at him, and she's pointing at them,
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Speaker 2: like she can literally see these kids. And she doesn't
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Speaker 2: know who they are, because I've asked, you know, who
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Speaker 2: are they? Whose children are they? She don't know who
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Speaker 2: they belong to, but they keep her quite entertained, seeing
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Speaker 2: things that are not there which can be detailed and
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Speaker 2: sometimes interactive. Holding firm false beliefs, such as the idea
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Speaker 2: that a spouse is having an affair or a loved
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Speaker 2: one has been replaced by an imposter, difficulties with decision making,
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Speaker 2: problem solving and staying focused. Mood and psycheatric behaviors. Depression,
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Speaker 2: a persistent feeling of sadness, and loss of interest in activities.
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Speaker 2: She's been dealing with depression for quite a while. She
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Speaker 2: has no desire to participate in a lot of everyday
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Speaker 2: things and just being there for her and trying to
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Speaker 2: include her into things. And she enjoys playing bingo, but
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Speaker 2: lately she hasn't been in a mood for playing bingo.
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Speaker 2: She really has a desire to get back to going
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Speaker 2: to church, which I am also hopeful that she'll be
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Speaker 2: able to get to where she wants to go. Anxiety
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Speaker 2: a feeling of worry or nervousness, Apathy, a lack of
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Speaker 2: interest in social activities in daily life, she has definitely
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Speaker 2: been anxious. She gets anxious when it comes to my
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Speaker 2: son and my granddaughter. She's always asking where they are,
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Speaker 2: how they are, and you know, she wonders if they're
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Speaker 2: okay all the time, and I have to constantly remind
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Speaker 2: her that they're fine oftentimes, which leads to video calls
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Speaker 2: or phone calls so that she can talk to them
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Speaker 2: or hear them or see them rather so that she
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Speaker 2: knows that they're fine. Agitations and restlessness, easily becoming upset, reriskless,
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Speaker 2: and shouting out. I haven't experienced that with her, but
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Speaker 2: nurses have said that she has had some moments of
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Speaker 2: agitation where she's basically fighting them off from touching her,
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Speaker 2: or you know, she's She's told me that they told
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Speaker 2: her I was there and I wasn't, and she was
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Speaker 2: tired of them lying to her and whatnot. But I
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Speaker 2: say all of this to say, I've heard older people
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Speaker 2: say that you're an adult once in your life and
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Speaker 2: twice a child, and I never understood that, but now
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Speaker 2: it's all like coming full circle and I get it.
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Speaker 2: As she gets older, she needs someone to take care
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Speaker 2: of her in the same sense a baby would. And
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Speaker 2: it's hard watching the person that raised you go through
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Speaker 2: life altering behaviors and health issues and you know, going
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Speaker 2: to my mom. My mom was a big lady at
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Speaker 2: one point in her life and now she is probably
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Speaker 2: one hundred and fifteen pounds if that. So, just trying
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Speaker 2: to keep her in good spirits has been my job.
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Speaker 2: That has been my job, just trying to make her happy,
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Speaker 2: keep her safe, and just being there for her. I
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Speaker 2: would also like to say for anybody who has a
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Speaker 2: loved one in a nursing home, please make it your
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Speaker 2: business to go check on your people. Don't take them
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Speaker 2: there and just drop them off and leave them, because
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Speaker 2: you wouldn't want that done to you. My mom is
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Speaker 2: dealing with some nursing home negligence, and she's been moved twice,
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Speaker 2: and this will be her third move and hopefully her last,
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Speaker 2: because I'm at a point where I just want to
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Speaker 2: bring her home with me, but I know that I
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Speaker 2: can't take care of her myself because I have health issues.
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Speaker 2: But so those of you who know the Lord, and
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Speaker 2: in words of prayer, I asked that you keep my
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Speaker 2: family lifted and your thoughts and prayers right now because
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Speaker 2: we are definitely going through it. Traveling from Georgia to
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Speaker 2: South Carolina as often as time and life permits has
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Speaker 2: been a challenge. We just did a turnaround trip yesterday.
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Speaker 2: We were told that my mom had a seizure, which
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Speaker 2: she did not according to the hospital. They said that
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Speaker 2: she didn't, But we went and we had to hang
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Speaker 2: out with her for a while just to lay eyes
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Speaker 2: on her and you know, see what she had going
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Speaker 2: on and things like that. So yeah, it's it's been
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Speaker 2: a very emotional roller coaster ride if I would, if
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Speaker 2: I had to say anything about it. I do treasure
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Speaker 2: the moments of time that I do get with her
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Speaker 2: where we're not in a space of arguing and fighting
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Speaker 2: and you know, just being on opposing teams. I like
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Speaker 2: to say, but right now she needs me and I
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Speaker 2: need her, and so being able to be that constant
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Speaker 2: for her has been life changing for me, just being
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Speaker 2: able to see everything she's gone through and going through
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Speaker 2: it so gracefully. But yeah, that that is what I'm
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Speaker 2: currently dealing with. So I wasn't planning on stand on
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Speaker 2: too long. So I'm gonna go because I know that
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Speaker 2: the hospital will be calling me shortly with updates or whatever,
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Speaker 2: and I need to be where I can receive phone
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Speaker 2: calls and handle my mother's business in the way that
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Speaker 2: she would want me to. So with that being said,
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Speaker 2: I thank you all for tuning and tonight. I will
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Speaker 2: be back on the fourth Friday of this month with
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Speaker 2: my co host, Miss Nadget Scott, Miss.
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Speaker 1: D D.
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Speaker 2: And until then, you all be blessed and have a
20:50
Speaker 2: wonderful night. I love you all.