Latest / Do You F*cking Mind? / 5 Days to Reset & Reclaim Your Mind Day 5: Overcoming any setback

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5 Days to Reset & Reclaim Your Mind Day 5: Overcoming any setback · Do You F*cking Mind?

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, welcome today, five off the five day miniseries to
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: fucking get your life in order to feel more in
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: control of your life, to feel like you're in control
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  Speaker 1: of the trajectory of your life. So today we're going
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  Speaker 1: to be talking about how it is that we can
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  Speaker 1: deal with these little daily setbacks so they don't hold
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  Speaker 1: you back ultimately, because one thing that I want you
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  Speaker 1: to remind yourself of is that these setbacks are going
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  Speaker 1: to happen. They are inevitable if you plan ahead, like
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  Speaker 1: as if you're never going to have a setback, or
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  Speaker 1: you're never going to have a lazy day, or you're
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  Speaker 1: never going to have a day where the energy just
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  Speaker 1: isn't there. You've done everything I've told you to do,
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  Speaker 1: but at the end of the day we're in the
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  Speaker 1: human or you might get sek or something comes up
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  Speaker 1: or you just can't that day. These things are going
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  Speaker 1: to happen. So instead of thinking, oh my God, like
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  Speaker 1: Fox Egg, I'm supposed to be on the ball. I've
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  Speaker 1: listened to all these episodes of a Lexus. No, these
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  Speaker 1: days happen. They happened to me, that happened to everyone.
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  Speaker 1: The point of everything that I've set you up to
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  Speaker 1: start doing is so you maintain overall consistency, to allow
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  Speaker 1: for setbacks, for these lull days, for an off day,
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  Speaker 1: for a sick day, and for it to not even
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  Speaker 1: be a blimp on your radar, because you're like, I
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  Speaker 1: accounted for this, I factored for this. I factored this
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  Speaker 1: in because I know, based on the history of my
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  Speaker 1: entire life, and based on human nature, that feeling fabulous
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  Speaker 1: and in the zone and on the ball every single
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  Speaker 1: day is extremely unlikely. You know, things are going to fluctuate.
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  Speaker 1: That's just life. And what I don't want you to
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  Speaker 1: do is think that when this happens, it's like, oh,
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  Speaker 1: for fox sake, now I need to start again. I
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  Speaker 1: need a new system, money and new that's not working
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  Speaker 1: for me. I had a shit day. Everyone has these days, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: So the same goes for emotions. I don't want you
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  Speaker 1: to ever feel like you've taken a step back because
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  Speaker 1: you might have had an emotional trigger that reminded you
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  Speaker 1: off your ex, for example, then you thought you were
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  Speaker 1: over them, and then you had a bad day. It
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  Speaker 1: doesn't mean that the progress has gone backwards. It means
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  Speaker 1: that this is part of the progress of hashing it
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  Speaker 1: out and getting somewhere, So don't then spiral and go
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  Speaker 1: back to square one. If you have an anxious day,
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  Speaker 1: it doesn't mean that you are not in control of
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  Speaker 1: your mind. People get anxiety, and that's part of it,
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  Speaker 1: you know. So what we're trying to do is we're
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  Speaker 1: trying to learn the most productive and helpful way to
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  Speaker 1: psychologically deal with any kind of setback in a way
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  Speaker 1: that you take in your stride. You think, yep, this
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  Speaker 1: is part of being a human. That's cool. And instead
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  Speaker 1: of spiraling, I accept it. I've actually factored it in
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  Speaker 1: and now I can just proceed in a very productive way.
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  Speaker 1: I feel good about it. I had that rest day,
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  Speaker 1: that pajama day because I actually needed it. That's why
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  Speaker 1: I had it. It's not because I'm a dud. It's
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  Speaker 1: actually because I edited it. So that's why it happened.
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  Speaker 1: I had a really anxious day, probably because there was
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  Speaker 1: a build up of many things, and anxiety is a
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  Speaker 1: natural emotion that we feel. And you know, I actually
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  Speaker 1: feel like maybe I was burnt out and maybe the
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  Speaker 1: anxiety served as a bit of a you know, an
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  Speaker 1: alarm to let me tell me to slow down a
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  Speaker 1: little bit. So I'm actually grateful that I can feel
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  Speaker 1: the whole spectrum of emotions that's available for me to
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  Speaker 1: feel well. It sucks right now, it doesn't mean that
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  Speaker 1: I've gone backwards in my mental health journey. You know,
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  Speaker 1: all these things that we can look at through a
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  Speaker 1: completely different lens and we can be a lot kinder.
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  Speaker 1: And when you're a lot kinder to yourself, you then
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  Speaker 1: getting back on track where you were is a lot faster.
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  Speaker 1: It's almost like you didn't even fall off track. It's like, oh, yep,
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  Speaker 1: this was bound to happen at some point because we're
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  Speaker 1: all human. Let's just keep going.
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  Speaker 2: Okay, So.
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  Speaker 1: This is one of the things that I want you
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  Speaker 1: to look at. Let's talking about consistency. Consistency is massive
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  Speaker 1: because I think people look at consistency as it's being
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  Speaker 1: highly highly disciplined, being really strict with yourself, and it
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  Speaker 1: being a daily thing. It's like a ritual. It's a
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  Speaker 1: habit that you do every single day and you don't
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  Speaker 1: break it, and if you break it, you start from
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  Speaker 1: day one and all of that. Now, there are some
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  Speaker 1: people that do it that way and it works for
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  Speaker 1: them and they love it, and that's great because you
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  Speaker 1: always have to find something that works for you. I
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  Speaker 1: might be spitting facts to you that you're like, absolutely
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  Speaker 1: fucking not, and then you go and listen to somebody
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  Speaker 1: else and you're like, that fucking resonates with me, and
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  Speaker 1: that's just life. Okay. Things are going to resonate with
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  Speaker 1: some people and not with others. But for the most part,
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  Speaker 1: I think that having such a regimented, look, you know,
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  Speaker 1: view on consistency can be detrimental in the way of
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  Speaker 1: thinking that you fail when in reality you've just had
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  Speaker 1: a day off or you know, three days off, or
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  Speaker 1: even a week of doing that thing. Okay, I want
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  Speaker 1: you to look at consistently slightly differently. I want you
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  Speaker 1: to look at consistency as more often than not. Okay.
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  Speaker 1: If you can look at consistency as I'm doing this
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  Speaker 1: more often than not, then I am making significant changes
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  Speaker 1: in my life. Okay. If I was to say, for example,
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  Speaker 1: I have to go to the gym every single day.
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  Speaker 1: I'm on this fucking journey and I'm going to the
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  Speaker 1: gym every single day, I might then burn out, I
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  Speaker 1: might miss a day where I will likely miss a
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  Speaker 1: day because it's life, and then I think, oh god,
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  Speaker 1: now I've got to start at square one, I'll just
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  Speaker 1: wait till Monday again, and then you get shitty and
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  Speaker 1: then you think, well, maybe I've got to change this.
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  Speaker 1: Maybe I'm not doing it right because I can't fit
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  Speaker 1: it in every day, and then you get in your
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  Speaker 1: head around it or about it. The alternative to that
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  Speaker 1: is if I was to go to the gym just
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  Speaker 1: over fifty percent of the days this year, you know,
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  Speaker 1: spread out obviously, not first six months and then nothing,
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  Speaker 1: you know, but like spread out, I'm going to see
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  Speaker 1: some significant changes. You know, ideally I'd like it to
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  Speaker 1: be more than fifty percent. But what if I was
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  Speaker 1: to set the benchmark at let's do fifty percent as
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  Speaker 1: a minimum, You're likely going to be hitting seventy percent
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  Speaker 1: because you get into a good rhythm, it feels good,
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  Speaker 1: you actually want to go, you start seeing changes, you
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  Speaker 1: feel better, so you're likely going to hit higher than
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  Speaker 1: fifty percent. But if you factor fifty percent, you're like,
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  Speaker 1: why was I so hard on myself? I can actually
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  Speaker 1: do this, and I'm wanting to do more. That's the
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  Speaker 1: beauty of it. So instead of punishing, I'm now celebrating.
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  Speaker 1: I now feel fucking good. So one of the things
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  Speaker 1: that you can do. And this is in my Brain Journal.
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  Speaker 1: I spoke about the Brain Journal yesterday. I'm going to
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  Speaker 1: speak about my brain Journal again today. Go check it out.
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  Speaker 1: It's at mindset Recreation Club dot com. But in the
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  Speaker 1: Brain Journal, I have these little squares that you tick off,
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  Speaker 1: so you list all these habits that you want to do.
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  Speaker 1: Let's say it's like meditating, yoga, jym writing, whatever, all
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  Speaker 1: these things that you list, and then there's a square
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  Speaker 1: for every day of the week that you color in
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  Speaker 1: the day that you did it, and you can choose
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  Speaker 1: how strict you want to be with that coloring in,
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  Speaker 1: because then at the end of the week, it gives
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  Speaker 1: you a one out of seven for each of the
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  Speaker 1: activities that you did, and you're able to look at
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  Speaker 1: a pattern, and then at the end of the month
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  Speaker 1: you actually can fill in that data in the final page,
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  Speaker 1: and then you can track how often you you know,
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  Speaker 1: how consistently you did your goals versus how you were
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  Speaker 1: feeling that day, because there's a mood tracker on every day.
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  Speaker 1: So you can do your own version of this, or
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  Speaker 1: you can do it via my journal. But one of
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  Speaker 1: the things that I suggest in the journal is you
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  Speaker 1: could do you know you could say I want to
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  Speaker 1: do five out of seven, I want to do seven
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  Speaker 1: out of seven. Or what's a really helpful one is
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  Speaker 1: no two days off in a row. So doing the
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  Speaker 1: no two days off in a row is amazing because
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  Speaker 1: the minimum is fifty percent. You know, one day on,
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  Speaker 1: one day off, one day on one day off. You
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  Speaker 1: just don't allow for two days off back to back,
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  Speaker 1: unless of course you're away, you're sick, whatever. Like again,
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  Speaker 1: we're factoring in for these things anyway, but as far
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  Speaker 1: as this like consistency on your regular everyday journey, having
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  Speaker 1: no two days off in a row is really cool
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  Speaker 1: to see on the graph because you're like, I could
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  Speaker 1: have done three days in a row, Jim, Jim, jim,
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  Speaker 1: or meditation, meditation, meditation, mis today, but then I do
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  Speaker 1: the other day, mister day, do the other day three
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  Speaker 1: days in a row again. But you're never doing two
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  Speaker 1: days off in a row. So even if it's every
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  Speaker 1: other day that you're doing the thing, you are already
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  Speaker 1: feeling a lot more empowered without this crazy amount of
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  Speaker 1: pressure on yourself. And then even if you do have
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  Speaker 1: two days off in a row, it's the exception to
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  Speaker 1: the rule which we factor in for anyway. Okay, So
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  Speaker 1: that's a huge one that I find helps a lot
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  Speaker 1: of people get on track and really rediscover what consistency
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  Speaker 1: means for them, because imagine if you were so stricting
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  Speaker 1: yourself you had to start again, you'd probably be like,
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  Speaker 1: I'll wait till I come back from holidays. I'll wait
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  Speaker 1: till I can do it perfectly. I'll wait until the
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  Speaker 1: stars align, the fucking universe is aligned, and I'm able
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  Speaker 1: to actually do this every single day by the end
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  Speaker 1: of the year. You've probably not properly started this thing.
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  Speaker 1: If you did the no two days off in a row.
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  Speaker 1: By the end of time year, you probably are really
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  Speaker 1: good at yoga when you never used to do it.
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  Speaker 1: You probably really enjoy meditating, and it's instinctively you are
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  Speaker 1: drawn to meditate often because you've done it. Your hit
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  Speaker 1: rate is over fifty percent. Okay, that's how you want
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  Speaker 1: to start to look at consistency, and you start to
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  Speaker 1: look at it as a lifestyle and not this end
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  Speaker 1: goal that you have. A lifestyle feels way more holistic
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  Speaker 1: and like cohesive with how you want to exist, and
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  Speaker 1: the end goal is like I've got to fucking slog
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  Speaker 1: it out. It's a milestone goal. I've got to get
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  Speaker 1: to the end. But the problem is when you get
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  Speaker 1: to the end, especially if it was an unpleasant journey
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  Speaker 1: where you felt forced to do things, you are kind
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  Speaker 1: of depleted, and then you completely fall off the bandwagon
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  Speaker 1: and then you don't do any of those things. Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Another thing that I want you to do is in
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  Speaker 1: this consistency thing that we're talking about, include some tasks
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  Speaker 1: in there that are still meaningful but relatively simple to do.
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  Speaker 1: So it could be I'm going to put a five
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  Speaker 1: minute timer and that five minute time is just to
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  Speaker 1: do some tidying up in my home, whatever it is.
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  Speaker 1: It could be I'm going to clean the mirrors in
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  Speaker 1: the bathroom. Didn't even have to get to five minutes,
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  Speaker 1: but that's what I did. But it's five minutes of whatever.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Another one could be I'm going to read three pages
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  Speaker 1: of a book. Anything but something that you want to
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  Speaker 1: trick your mind. And this is kind of what I
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  Speaker 1: was talking about a couple of episodes ago. But it's
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  Speaker 1: this concept of kind of tricking your mind into really
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  Speaker 1: loving that feeling of accomplishment doing that task, feeling like
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  Speaker 1: I've accomplished something at the end of the day and
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  Speaker 1: it feels good. Okay, So then when I look at
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  Speaker 1: like the little squares that I've ticked off at the
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  Speaker 1: end of the day, I'm actually excited to tick off
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  Speaker 1: that box for the following day because it felt really
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  Speaker 1: good to do it. The actual task itself, cleaning a
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  Speaker 1: mirror doesn't really feel that great. It's not awful, it's
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: not torture, but it's probably not that exciting. But ticking
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  Speaker 1: that thing off and knowing that I did that, I
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  Speaker 1: ticked off that milestone feels really fucking good. Okay. Going
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  Speaker 1: for that walk around the block feels really good. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: So trick your mind into feeling accomplished. It will get
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  Speaker 1: addicted to the feeling of accomplishing things, and it's going
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  Speaker 1: to seek out ways in which it can feel more accomplished.
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  Speaker 2: Okay.
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  Speaker 1: Like I said, it's you know, you just have to
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  Speaker 1: tweak a couple of things here and there for you
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  Speaker 1: to train your brain to work in your favor and
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  Speaker 1: not feel like you are working against your brain. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: this is one of the best ways to do it. Okay, No,
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  Speaker 1: two days off in a row. Reframe how you look
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  Speaker 1: at consistency and Also, before you do all of this,
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  Speaker 1: probably should have said this at the start of the episode.
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  Speaker 1: I want you to ask yourself, what are my thoughts
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  Speaker 1: around consistency when I do drop off, and how are
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  Speaker 1: we going to change that? You know, sometimes if I
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  Speaker 1: drop off doing something, I think, Okay, on Monday, I'm
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  Speaker 1: starting again, and I'm like, I'm the first person to
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  Speaker 1: know that that doesn't work. Waiting for Monday, waiting for
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  Speaker 1: the first of the month, waiting for the next morning.
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  Speaker 1: I know that. So I personally always put these steps
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  Speaker 1: into practice to re to redirect where I am with
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  Speaker 1: my consistency, and it works every time. Every time it works.
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  Speaker 1: So it's not this is what I was saying at
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  Speaker 1: the start of the episode. It's not about expecting you
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  Speaker 1: to train your brain to a point where everything's perfect
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  Speaker 1: and everything's flawless, like everyone is going to come across
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  Speaker 1: this again and again and again. It's all about when
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  Speaker 1: I do come across this, do I have the tools
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  Speaker 1: to steer myself into the way that I want to go,
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  Speaker 1: into the direction that I want to go? And the
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  Speaker 1: answer is yes. Now do those tools now feel easy
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  Speaker 1: or hard? At the start? It might feel hard, it
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  Speaker 1: might not, but it's always going to get easier the
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  Speaker 1: more often we do it. And when we talk about
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  Speaker 1: consistency and often just think, what's my percentage hit rate
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  Speaker 1: that I want to aim for? And fifty percent or
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  Speaker 1: just over is phenomenal for someone that's never done anything,
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  Speaker 1: or for someone not anything, but someone that's you know,
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  Speaker 1: if you're the kind of person that sets the same
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  Speaker 1: goal year in year out, year in year fucking out
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  Speaker 1: doing fifty percent of a hit rate, imagine if you thought, Okay,
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  Speaker 1: I've set this goal, but I've never done it, versus
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  Speaker 1: next year, I'm doing it every second day of the year.
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  Speaker 1: That's huge. You know, we set ourselves up. We said
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  Speaker 1: that we make it so hard for ourselves instead of
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  Speaker 1: being like, even if I did half of this, it's
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  Speaker 1: more than I've ever done of this fucking thing. Who
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  Speaker 1: am I kidding? Like, on what planet do I expect
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  Speaker 1: myself to be a you know, perfect strike rate when
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  Speaker 1: I haven't even done one week in a row. Okay,
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  Speaker 1: when you change this, you will be like, Wow, consistency
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  Speaker 1: is now a lifestyle and not a chore. It's part
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  Speaker 1: of my life, and part of life is ups and downs,
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  Speaker 1: the unexpected, dealing with setbacks. Going on a fucking holiday,
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  Speaker 1: waking up one day and being like, I have nothing
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  Speaker 1: to give today, and therefore I will not refuse. I'm
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  Speaker 1: fucking tapping out today, and you don't even feel bad
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  Speaker 1: about it because you're consistent enough on the other days
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  Speaker 1: overall that you're like, I'm good, I like the trajectory,
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  Speaker 1: things are good. I need a day off. I'm fucking
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  Speaker 1: taking that day off. That's what being an adult is.
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  Speaker 1: That is what having control over your life is. That
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  Speaker 1: when you need that time off, when you need the holiday,
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  Speaker 1: when you need that day off, when you need the
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  Speaker 1: pajama day, you are like, I fucking earned it. I'm
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  Speaker 1: allowed to because I am in control of my life
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  Speaker 1: and I'm allowing myself to have that day off. I'm
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  Speaker 1: not going to feel shit about myself. I'm not going
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  Speaker 1: to spiral. I'm not going to feel like, oh my god,
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: I'm not in control. This is just another reason why
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  Speaker 1: things aren't going well for me. I actually will frame
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: it completely differently. Okay, so this is how we deal
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  Speaker 1: with daily setbacks, so you can be productive about it
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  Speaker 1: and so it doesn't hold you back. Guys, thank you
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: so much for tuning into the last five days. If
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: you haven't listened to the last four days, they're all
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: like fifteen to twenty minute episodes. Just bang bang bang
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: bang bang bang bang. The mo ounts go and bang bang.
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: Everything's a bang and fucking like rehash everything that I've
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: spoken about. Consolidate that information again, go over it, listen
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: to it, write down the things that resonated with you,
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: and start implement these things. They're all extremely doable things
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: that you can implement in your day today, moving forward
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: or every second day. Fifty percent hit rate, that's going
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: to make a significant difference, and it's going to reframe
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: how you look at your goals moving forward. Everything. Okay,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: So I hope you enjoyed the five day miniseries. I
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: really enjoy doing miniseries. I love doing the one at
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: the start of the year, So I want to do
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: more kind of sprinkled throughout the year as well, because
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I feel like it's a good like It gives me
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: an opportunity to hash like hash out topics in more
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: depth across days. So you've got time to like really
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: let that concept sit with you. So if you have
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: any suggestions for miniseries that you would like me to cover,
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: then please let me know I should put maybe like
• 15:47
  Speaker 1: a question box on my Instagram or you can email
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: me or just DM the do you Fucking My on
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: Instagram page or email info at dwyfmpod dot com and
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: just email your suggestions for miniseries is like, maybe you
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: want a miniseries on confidence, maybe you want a five
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: day miniseries on dealing with spiraling catastrophizing thoughts. You tell
• 16:11
  Speaker 1: me what you would like and then I can do
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: like polls and get people to vote on what miniseries
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: they would like next. So exciting times. Love you guys
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: so much. As always, remember, be kind to yourself, be
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: kind to your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: especially don't take shit from yourself.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: Duncas