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Danielle Cobo: Decide You Matter, Make Bold Moves · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Bolt Lounge Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Lee Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on bold journeys and made a positive impact in your life.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: This podcast is all about those kinds of stories.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: Every week we'll hear from someone who has taken the lead or part of an extraordinary journey.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_01: In addition to hearing their stories, we'll also learn about their bold growth mindset that they used to make things happen.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: Whether they faced challenges or dealt along the way, they persisted and ultimately achieved their goals.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_01: These impactful stories will leave you feeling motivated and inspired to pursue your own culture.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be created.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Tune in, get ready to be inspired.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Bold Lounge.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: This morning I have Danielle Kobo, who is a career consultant and speaker.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Danielle.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so excited to join today.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people, probably who are listening, know who you are, but just for those that don't, would love for you to do just a brief introduction.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I've spent the past 15 years working in corporate America for the most recent seven years leading a team for a Fortune 500 company, specifically in medical sales.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: And now I own my own business and I work with professionals in building unshakable confidence so that they can achieve their career goals as well as live their best life.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I wanted to start off with the typical question that I ask, which is definition of bold.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_01: So in Danielle's world, what does bold look like?
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_01: What does bold mean to you?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: What bold means to me is looking at the possibilities beyond what we initially imagined.
• 1:58
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we are guided down a certain path.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: And whether that path looks like what we've seen in the movies or society, or hey, are you going to be a doctor or a lawyer growing up from what our parents have told us?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: But really looking beyond that and always taking kind of that initiative to look out and say, what are the possibilities?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: What brings me joy?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: And how can I stretch beyond my comfort zone and learn new skill sets that might align with the person that I want to be?
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I say that specifically because often we're asked, well, what do you want to do?
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: And what would it look like if we started asking ourselves, who do we want to be?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And how can we take bold moves in our career and in our life to be the person that we want?
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's interesting because when you're growing up, like what do you want to be when you grow up?
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's just not normal for us to talk about it in the way that you meant it.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's more so like there's an end game to it, right?
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be a doctor, you'll be a lawyer, you'll be a bus driver, whatever it is you want to be, you'll be.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_01: And then that's that's it.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: You've done it.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, check that big box.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's, you know, certainly I think it's different now for younger generations.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm excited to kind of see how this plays out.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_01: But like for the bulk of us who are in our 40s or 50s, like it's an interesting kind of like, oh, I I can be something different, I can try something new, I can succeed and fail, and succeed and fail and keep trying to like it fits, it clicks, right?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Such a different way to look at it, which is exciting, but also there's a known to it as well.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's the bold part, right?
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because we don't know sometimes what we're doing, but we're moving still forward towards it.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so we've been thoughtful.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's not as though we're just going, you know, carelessly, but I think we're thinking through it.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: So in your life, if you think back to that, like how far would you go back?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: What would be your first bold move that comes to mind?
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: The first bold move that comes to mind, and it really kind of shaped the decisions that I made in the future, was when I was 17 years old.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: My mom and I kind of had a tumultuous type relationship.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: There were times where we got along, but then there was also times that we didn't.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't find out later in life that my mom actually kidnapped me when I was two years old.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: So I grew up thinking that my dad abandoned us and that I was unworthy of his love.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that is one of the reasons why I'm so passionate about helping people build confidence.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: And it's because I experienced a lot of self-doubt growing up in my life.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: And when I was 17 years old, we got in an argument.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was pushed down the stairs and it became physical.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember running outside in a panic, not feeling like I'm in a safe spot.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And I go to my boyfriend's house at the time and his parents.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And the next day, the counselor had brought me into the counseling room and said, if you don't go back to living with your mom, you're not going to amount to anything in life.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: She thought that by me exploring things on my own, that I wouldn't succeed.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it was that pivotal moment in my life where I have learned that we can either listen to other people and say, well, if that's what you believe, then I need to believe that too.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Or we can start to listen and be in tune with what we know is best for us.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: And she didn't know the whole, and in her defense a little bit, she didn't know the whole picture.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't know what was going on at home and how it was affecting my emotional and mental well-being.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_00: I was at a point where I was anorexic.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: I was very sick.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't eating.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was affecting everything apart about me.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: My grades were suffering at the time.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that bold move was making the decision to say, no, going back home, it's not healthy for me.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up leaving.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: I piled my clothes into four different trash bags and I rotated living at different friends' houses every couple of weeks until I was able to graduate high school.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: And then, like I'm just like taking this in for a second because there's a lot of things in there in the sense of bold moves.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: And now you've turned something that was very traumatic and very hurtful into making sure no one else feels that way, right?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And a lot of the times that we have things happen to us, I think we're not sure what to do with it, right?
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_01: Do we kind of keep it in?
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a woe is me moment?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a, you know, what do I do with it?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm always, I'm always so impressed with people who take an event like this or events and turn it to good.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm gonna make sure no one else feels that way, right?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna make sure, even if you don't have confidence and you're 55 years old, I'm gonna help you kind of build that back up because it's so, so important, right?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: So so when you made that bold move, which is one of the boldest I've heard on my program, you made that decision that I'm gonna graduate high school and I'm still, but I'm gonna, you know, rotate at my friends' houses, which I think people knowing about that in high school can be pretty rough.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: And people being supportive of you, like you had some bold in your tank there that came from somewhere, right?
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_01: And being able to, whether it's just throughout your life, you kind of built that up and just being able to do those types of things.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: So when you graduated, I get the sense with those decisions that you made to graduate, to leave home, that you had your next step, like you knew where you were gonna go next.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: What did you plan for yourself?
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Even though my mom and I had a relationship at times that wasn't very healthy, I learned to be bold from my mom.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: My mom was also an incredible role model.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: So the highs and lows, I looking back, were a result of she was bipolar.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so sometimes she'd be on medication, sometimes she wouldn't, she'd be in a manic or she'd be in a depressed state.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: And that's kind of what created that roller coaster.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: And on some aspects, I she was a role model.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I looked up to her because she was a single mom with a five-year-old, getting her college degree and as and waitressing.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: And so I saw her work ethic, I saw her drive, I saw how she provided times where we had no money and we lived in a two-bedroom apartment with my mom in one room, a roommate in another room, and my bed in the living room, and you know, shopping at thrift stores.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember seeing us go from that lifestyle to this beautiful lifestyle that she was able to provide for us.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And it was because of that that I learned to be bold.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: I learned to take risks, I learned to just push through things.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And when I decided to graduate high school, I knew I wanted to be the first one in my family to go straight to college.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I wanted my goal was I want to go to college and I want to graduate debt-free.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: That was my goal.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: I worked two jobs.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: I worked two jobs.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I would go to school two days a week from nine to nine PM.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then the other days, I would work a day job, then work a night job.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And then every Sunday I went snowboarding because that was my way of releasing energy.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that was kind of like my fun time.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, that's that's how you live life.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: It's like so you still felt some balance in there, being able to align really hard work with determination plus wellness, right?
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_01: So that that's cool that you were really practicing that early on.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds like, you know, this is something I think for our listeners to think through too.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_01: We can learn good and not so good from people that we still love and care about.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: And I think as we get older, it's easier to understand that.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: I think when you're younger, it's hard, you know.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I I just think sometimes everything when you're younger feels so final or so like immediate.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: And at least it did when I was in my teens.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: I agree with you 100% on that.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and like I guess that's with wisdom and age and all that good stuff that comes with growing older, which is it which is not guaranteed.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm very thankful that I'm able to, you know, talk like that.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's just important that you know, even though you had a tumultuous relationship, you still learned how to be bold and you learned a lot, a lot of good things from her as well.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so you went through and got your degree, working two jobs, snowboarding.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: When you think about kind of your move then, are you where you are now based on what you where you thought you would be, or did it really kind of take a different path?
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea that I would be where I'm at today.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: I uh if you were to have asked me three years ago, Danielle, you're gonna be a keynote speaker, you're gonna be writing a book, you're gonna have a podcast, you're gonna be out on your own.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I would have said absolutely not.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: I was a little bit risk adverse just because I was pretty guarded from some of the uh some of the challenges I had gone through.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I almost felt like this protective shield where I didn't want to get hurt again.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so I wasn't vulnerable.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: I was having a hard time being authentic, I had a hard time taking risks.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: And it wasn't until 2020 where I had a three-month period where my life completely flipped upside down.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And this kind of goes into that next big, bold, pivotal moment of my life.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: My husband had just served a year of deployment.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: So he was gone for a year.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: At the time, my twin boys have twin boys, they were a year and a half years old.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I went a year with being a single parent at the time, a husband in a complete war zone where I was hearing missiles hit his base while I was on the phone with him at times.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I was traveling 50% of the year because I was leading a team across multiple states.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so he gets back from the deployment.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: We have that transition period.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Then uh two months later, my mom was taken by suicide.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_00: So unfortunately, that mental health kind of took a path where she was taken by suicide.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I say taken very specifically because commit is almost an action where there's a crime being committed, but this was a result of her mental health.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_00: And then two weeks after, no, even I'm sorry, a week after that happened, the pandemic hit, the world shut down.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_00: And then a month after that, I left my corporate job.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was this whole everything in my life was changing.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it got to a point where I said, What do I really want in life?
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_00: And who's the type of person that I want to be?
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: I kept hearing things like you're not authentic, you're not vulnerable, you're guarded.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you wear the corporate hat and we have a hard hard time relating to you.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so I took a look at my life and said, What do I really want?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: What brings me joy?
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And what brought me joy was the part of leadership that I love, which is the mentoring, which is the seeing people have these aha moments of going, wow, I see something in myself I never saw because of some of the mentoring and the questions that would be asked.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, this is what I want my next phase to look like.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is where I want to have a greater impact and purpose in my life.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: So it completely changed.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea about this world when I left, but I'm I'm grateful that I'm here now.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: I obviously it took some kind of trying times to have me open my eyes to this, but sometimes I believe that your pain becomes your purpose.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then or your message, your message.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's the other one I've heard uh that I like because sometimes it's messy.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: And I think you know, you talked a lot about things in there that I think that some of us I hope never experience, or even some may have that are listening.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I think just being able to go through those, like you know, get through those moments.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, your husband being deployed in the fear of that, and then him coming back, being not a single mom, but for a bit of time, being the only caregiver at home with young twins.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, let's just start there.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: That's bold right there, Danielle.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then your husband comes home, the transition, and then your mom, you lose your mom, and then the world shuts down.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: And of all those, obviously, I know the last one, you know, and how just impactful that was.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of stress is what I would say.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I felt like at the very beginning of that.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: So a lot of muscles used in the sense of being able to cope, right?
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: And move through.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: At the same time, you mentioned something about being my word criticized for not being open and sharing all your world.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I can relate a little bit to that, you know.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: So you and I have talked before, you know, some of my losses that I've had, and you know, it's just not something you put on your sleeve and you talk about all the time.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: For me, it was like I toughened up versus kind of got more vulnerable.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: And it probably took me till about just most recently to be able to even talk about it openly.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: So, what did you do as you kind of what are some of the things that you used just strategies to kind of move through those moments?
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_00: The first one was I started sharing my story.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what I found by sharing my story, I remember I had put a post up there, just I think it had been, you know, suicide prevention month, which is September.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I had shared my story and I had shared it on LinkedIn.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: And the overwhelming response from people, either in posts or private messages saying, I've been struggling from with mental health for a long time, I've thought about taking my life, your message just really resonated with me.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: Or I've had parents that have messaged me and said, I lost my child.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And those moments opened my eyes to sharing the message.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_00: Because if I could share, if I could be bull vulnerable and share a part of my life that was very hurtful, not only could I support in saving somebody else's life from them taking it or them healing through their process of hearing that they're not alone.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_00: I also received a lot of healing through that process as well.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I started to open up gradually and share my story.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: My initial, my initial reason getting on LinkedIn and active was because I wanted to just share my knowledge.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, you know, I have 15 years in corporate America, I've got leadership experience.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just gonna share some knowledge.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Plus, we were at a point where there was so much negativity going on.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to share inspiring and positive messages.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea that I would then become a LinkedIn voice for inspiration for people.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, people follow me, whether it's through some of the personal stories that I share of struggles of overcoming them or advice on how to accelerate your career.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_00: But through that journey, I learned the power of vulnerability and how when we are vulnerable, we connect with people on a deeper level.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what builds meaningful connections.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_00: So asking the question of, well, how is your day or how was your weekend?
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, it's fine.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's a very surface level connection.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: What would it look like if we started asking questions, getting on a deeper level?
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_00: That was the first thing I did.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_00: And then the second thing I did was I found a hobby that got me into the creative flow.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_00: And what the creative flow is, you get to a point where you find something that you love.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_00: And if there's a hobby that you love that's not tied to a specific outcome, whether it be I've got to do this hobby because I got to sell something or I got to make an income off of it.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's just you enjoy the hobby of it.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: That's when you get in your creative flow, and that's helps release stress within our body.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, I've always loved Christmas.
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_00: I used to pick mistletoe when I was a kid and I would stand outside the grocery store and sell it so I'd have money to buy presents.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, so I spent, you know, when I left corporate, I spent some time just at home and spending time with my family and my kids and decorating and painting lots of Christmas decorations.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I joke around, I say that looks like Mrs.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_00: Claus kind of threw up in my house.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_00: I decorate the weekend before Thanksgiving and I don't apologize for it.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_00: I don't.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I don't.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_00: So I started getting into my creative flow and that helped release the stress.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_00: And then I got to the third point where I said, what do I really want?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_00: So I started to write down what are the things that I enjoy doing, what lights my passion, what gets the energy flowing, where do I feel fulfilled?
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_00: And I started to write a list of all the things that I want and what that does.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_00: And then I started to write a things, all the things I didn't necessarily like about my last job.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't like getting on top of people for doing their expense reports.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_00: That wasn't fun.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I created a here's what I love to do.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I created a job description around it.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, this is what I want to do moving forward.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_00: And then the step beyond that was who do I get to be by doing this particular new phase in my career?
• 19:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what helped me get through releasing the guard and relieving some of that pain and that stress and looking at where my future is going to be and then getting me to the point where I'm at now.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: So finding your creative flow, let's go, let's go there for a second, because that doesn't mean you have to quit your job.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: That doesn't mean you have to do anything.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Uh, you know, bold as in on the other end of the continuum, like quit your job, jump off, you know, jump into something.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: It just means you're exploring, right?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: For me, being outside and whether it's kayaking or just being out uh with the dogs and their silliness or just kind of feeling the sun on my face.
• 20:19
  SPEAKER_01: Like to me, that is energizing and sports.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: I will never be a professional, anything, sports, but it is something that you know releases tension and and pressure.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I think people, I think it's good for folks to understand that it doesn't have to be something major.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to be selling something, you don't have to be making a business off of it or coming up with a business plan.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like just like what brings you joy, right?
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like you snowboarding, I bet still brings you joy.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: And you started to do other things where you found joy, and then those turned into how can I actually use this and help other people?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: So when we're thinking about like gaining confidence in some of the things that you talk about, what are some of the things like, you know, this is a time, a very uneasy time, I think, for people in the world for a multitude of reasons.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: If someone's feeling like a lack of confidence, where should they begin to unpack it?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like in your experience and as you work with your clients?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: That's a great question.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say unshakeable confidence, it doesn't mean that we're never gonna experience self-doubt.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: Even to this day, I experience self-doubt.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_00: The difference, yeah, I mean, anything, right?
• 21:29
  SPEAKER_00: Especially when we're doing something new, there's gonna be different times where we're gonna have major life shifts or we're going to be exploring, we're in a new position, we're a new job, we're starting a new business.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever the newness is, does have a tendency to create a little bit more self doubt because we're there's the unknown element to it.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're in a new spot.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so unshakable confidence is more understanding that you can you have the tools to build the confidence to.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: regain that confidence.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it first starts with the self-awareness.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: So when you have a high level of self-awareness and you're able to identify, well, what's causing this doubt that I'm experiencing?
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_00: Is it because I'm in a new position?
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_00: Is it because I'm starting a new business?
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, what's creating that self-doubt?
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it could be either a lot of the times it's the moments that happened between the ages of zero and eight that created that self-doubt, right?
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I came, I came into the world with a lot of unworthiness and feeling like no one that I wasn't good enough because I thought my dad had abandoned me, even though that that wasn't the case.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: So first is having the self-awareness and then how do you build self-confidence?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_00: And that starts with deciding that you matter.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_00: And what I mean by deciding what you matter, it is what are some areas if you're in a new spot, what are some areas that you can invest in your personal development, in your skill sets where by learning those skills, you're going to gain confidence through the process.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's one area of gaining confidence.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: I would say the second step to that is reflection.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of times we compare ourselves to others and we look at gosh, that person, they're succeeding.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what about all the successes that we've had throughout throughout our life so one of the exercises that I'll have some of my clients go through is I want you to start from the very beginning of your life and what were some of the successes that you've gone through along the way?
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_00: Have you overcome certain challenges?
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: Have you earned new certificates, won awards?
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_00: Have you had promotions?
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_00: It could be anything from you were a college star soccer player to you are in a leadership position and you're celebrating all those promotions that you've gone along the way or you've had certain certifications that you've received over the year, your college degree and really looking and reflecting back on our life and say, we didn't get here by accident.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't get here by luck.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_00: We got here because of the hard work that we put in place and the things that we've learned and the challenges that we've overcome.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: And we get to look back and we get to reflect on those and celebrate them.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_00: And that is also part of building confidence.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah I think the other thing we're doing things that other people aren't even trying or aren't even attempting or didn't even think they could try to even do it.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: You know, they already shut themselves down.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: So if you fail at something guy like okay I did it you know like regardless of success or failure I tried it and it didn't work but I did it.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so hard sometimes for people to realize what their successes have been.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that activity that you have your your folks do because we rarely have time that we dedicate to success.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: We continually think about what's not working what you haven't achieved what you haven't done yet.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know and there's a lot of like you things that happen in our lives of like oh I've disappointed either myself or my parents or my loved ones or whatever it may be.
• 25:12
  SPEAKER_01: There may be some of that in there that doesn't allow you to think about everything you've overcome or what you've done.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the other thing is no one knows your journey better than you do.
• 25:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you just need to be kind to yourself and thinking I've I've done some really incredible things.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that you're you know you're you have a focus on that because I think that helps again maybe click into some of our creative click into positive self-talk versus negative self-talk mode and allows us to then maybe see opportunities and have more of a growth mindset to what we're going to do moving forward.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know don't shut down the opportunities by shutting yourself down.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what you know your activities and the things that you've shared are are incredible and helpful for folks.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: I want to go back just to one more thing before we end and it was the how are you comment and I only bring this up because in the last week someone asked me that and it was a day I wasn't good.
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually instead of saying fine I said they said how are you?
• 26:19
  SPEAKER_01: I was like not well and it was almost like they didn't know what to say after that but they hung in there like okay what's happening what's going on how can I help and it turned out to be a really good conversation a really good outcome but it was the first time I probably have done that outside of my family where someone says how are you and I'm like you know not good you know and I was surprised at the response which was very positive.
• 26:45
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just say that because I think sometimes we think we have to always have it all together social media and everything is like we don't put a lot of the things that don't work I try to put the silly moments and the things that you know like this didn't go well and this is why and this is what I learned.
• 27:01
  SPEAKER_01: But sometimes I don't think people see all the stuff that behind the scenes before someone has some this golden moment or this wonderful thing happen.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_01: So the power of actually being not okay and sharing that with others, I think that's important.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: And I wondered what your experience was with that with you know your world and and the folks that you work with.
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times you mentioned with social media we have this perception that everybody's life is amazing and it's so good.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: And I even kind of look at the relationships that I have now and it's that question of how are you or what was the most exciting thing you did over the weekend.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_00: And if I am at a point where in these relationships it's this fine good I feel like there's no vulnerability I just have such a hard time connecting with them.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I really do.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: And and so that's why when we ask those questions when we release the guard and say hey you know what I'm a rough day my kids we couldn't you know I've got my kids trying to get them to the bus stop.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_00: We can't find shoes or they're fighting with each other.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was just a rough morning those moments happen and it's okay.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: And and that creates relatability which also creates a deeper connection with individuals as well.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 28:23
  SPEAKER_01: And the more that we can encourage and that's where you know you hear a lot about personal branding and being your authentic self and like your authentic self has ups and downs has good days bad days has stuff happen that isn't as extremely you know imperfect even as we're talking when we were talking about like your example of something that could happen to a mom in the morning is that you smile like we both smiled at each other as you were talking about because we could relate right we could see it.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: We could be like oh yeah I've been there or I can understand how that could be.
• 28:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I think just it's so important for people to realize being real is is bold and it's it's actually going to be super helpful for you to be successful.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: And the more you can be yourself um the more confidence you can then gain I think as well and I'm just so excited that the people have you as a resource and all the information is below to talk to Danielle or to learn more about her services.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_01: Anything that you would advise people to think about as they're going to think through their next steps for their career or some of the things that they like to see next for them?
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah I would say put together a career plan.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_00: And what that would look like is where do you see yourself one year, three years, five years from now?
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: And when you think about what those goals are and it could be everything from what do you want to do in your career or how do you want to make an impact within your community, within society it doesn't always have to be at our job.
• 29:53
  SPEAKER_00: It is what does that look like?
• 29:55
  SPEAKER_00: Who do you get to be when you accomplish those goals and what steps are going to be taken to accomplish those goals?
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: What are the areas when you look at some of the strengths or the skill sets are going to be for that next move what are some of the areas where you get to decide that you matter and you get to invest in your own personal development?
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: And what are some mentors that you can align yourself with to support you along that process because there's an element in achieving our goals when there's an accountability, when there's somebody that we can bounce ideas off with, somebody who's had similar success and they can teach us hey, here's where I failed and this is what I learned from it.
• 30:34
  SPEAKER_00: That's how you can look at taking steps to moving forward in your career and in your life too.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because one touches the other right a very important point that you said in there that I want to underscore is like it doesn't always mean you have to you know have a plan around your job.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_01: It could just be what's fulfilling and what's bringing you joy and that's going to help your career and it's going to help your personal life because they they touch one another on a regular basis.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for being part of the Bold Lounge.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited for folks to to learn more about you and to watch you and what you're able to accomplish thank you so much Daniel thank you thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge podcast.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_01: Through the continuum of bold stories vulnerability to taking the lead you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important stories.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: By highlighting these stories we hope to inspire others and share the journey of those with bold we hope you've enjoyed this podcast and look forward to sharing the next bold journey