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Transcript

Your Embarrassment Means You Care: The Psychological Paradox of the Cringe · insyed; cozy psychology

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  yeah sorry to bother you guys could you do me
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  a favor and help me record something real quick
• 0:03
  sure yeah yeah just start your recording just
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  hold the phone all right am i clear can you see
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  me uh yeah yeah all right okay so i think it
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  should be recording right yeah okay so the hardest
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  part in making this wasn't the research or the
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  writing it was building the courage to ask someone
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  to help me record i wanted to overcome my fear
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  of embarrassment and in the end i truly learned
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  something valuable Wow, fantastic. Psychology
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  research suggests that the intense stress you
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  get when you have to do something simple in public
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  isn't because it's difficult. It's because our
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  brain treats it as a social evaluative threat,
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  which basically means it becomes a threat to
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  our social survival. Biologically speaking, in
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  situations like these, highly potent stressors
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  are activated in our brain. leading to strong
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  emotional, physiological, and even behavioral
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  changes. This means that high social anxiety
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  makes us hyper -conscious of our actions and
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  behaviors. And if we don't keep ourselves in
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  check, we can fall into this vicious cycle where
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  because we're so focused on how we are behaving,
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  we lose track of what's actually happening. So
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  it doesn't matter how the other person is actually
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  responding. All we can see is the worst possible
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  reaction. So why am I telling you all of this?
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  Well, because I want to remind you that the reason
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  why you're stressing out so much is because you
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  care. And that care is something others can appreciate.
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  Come on, follow me. Just a quick pause before
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  we continue. If you find value in what I do and
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  want to support me, do let me know because it
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  truly keeps me going. You can support me directly
• 1:50
  on my Buy Me A Coffee page, and if you prefer
• 1:53
  to read, you can find my full essays on Substack,
• 1:56
  Medium, and LinkedIn. And if you're on the go,
• 1:59
  you can find audio versions wherever you listen
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  to your podcasts. It truly means a lot to me
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  that you're here, and I want to thank you. But
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  anyways, it's actually a beautiful paradox where
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  that feeling of stress makes us hesitant, but
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  at the same time, it's actually a sign of care
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  and consciousness. So what I'm inviting you here
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  to do today is that I want you to be a little
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  bit kinder to yourself and treat yourself like
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  your own best friend. Give yourself a break.
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  Instead of being self -critical, Treat it as
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  a challenge where you already have all the tools
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  you need to succeed. Instead of looking inwards,
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  try and look outwards instead on what you need
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  to do. So that cringe you feel in yourself should
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  really be the same kindness you give to others.
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  That's all I have to share for now until we hear
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  from each other again. Take care and goodbye.