Latest / Looking Into / Episode 9: The Outsiders, America, and The World Cup

Transcript

Episode 9: The Outsiders, America, and The World Cup · Looking Into

0:13
I saved a spider last week from being killed.
0:17
Everyone in the room wanted to kill it and I was like, I can't,
0:21
I won't be doing that. We'll be saving the spider.
0:23
So it's. Fantastic.
0:24
It may or may not still be alive, I don't know.
0:26
I also saved bumblebee. I saved a bumblebee on my walk
0:29
this morning. I just have this 6th sense I
0:32
like will look down at the at the road and there's a bumblebee
0:35
in the middle of the road. It happens on my morning walk, I
0:38
swear to God once a week and I just like run over and put put
0:41
it in my hand and I'm like, let's go to a.
0:44
Flower. Yeah.
0:47
I mean, is this, are you still making amends for the slug that
0:51
you salted and traumatize yourself with when you were a
0:53
kid? Yeah, probably something like
0:55
that. Have you?
0:56
Have you always been a bug saver?
0:59
I wouldn't say that I'm a you know, I'm AI occupy many
1:04
different titles. I've been a bug killer, I've
1:08
been a bug saver, but I just really have a heart for bees and
1:11
not Wasps. Those aren't not the same, but
1:14
like honey bees, bumble bees, it's just I want to save them.
1:18
I want them to be OK. Yeah, I'm a fan of pollinators.
1:22
I will give you that one. And I also save spiders for the
1:26
most part because I killed one in front of my friend Liz once,
1:31
and I thought it was going to cost me the friendship.
1:33
So I have learned not to kill spiders anymore.
1:38
But here's what happened, Caleb. We were walking through the
1:42
redwoods and because obviously, like, why would you miss the
1:48
opportunity to do that? We were in Southern Oregon.
1:50
We had time. We went into Northern
1:51
California. We went through the redwoods and
1:52
I was hugging lots of trees. And I hugged this small tree
1:57
because it needed encouragement and I wanted it to like, I
2:02
wrapped my arms all the way around it.
2:04
And I was like, I just want you to be like, you can do it.
2:07
You can grow up just like your Big Brothers and sisters.
2:11
And then a fucking spider the size of my damn face was on the
2:19
trunk right next to me. And that ended my enthusiasm for
2:24
hugging trees. The spider lived, but I like
2:28
like had to run away. And that's a valid reaction.
2:32
Absolutely. It was too large, the legs were
2:34
too big and it was too close to my face.
2:36
And I just, I meant to hug the tree, not the spider, you know?
2:40
Yeah. I was, I wasn't, I just know,
2:44
not a fan of that. But I am.
2:45
I am a fan of you and I'm a fan of us.
2:47
So let's kick this off. Hello listeners, welcome to
2:49
Looking into This is the podcast for two friends talk about pop
2:53
culture, queer culture, and the lived human experience.
2:59
Sorry this intro is new. This is only my second time
3:02
running it. We are committed to bringing
3:04
passion and curiosity to the topics that interest us in hopes
3:07
that they also interest you. My name is Heidi and I am one of
3:10
your hosts. And I, dear listener, I'm Caleb,
3:15
and I'm another host. We always say that like there's
3:19
three, you could say the the other.
3:22
Host. Yeah, but you know, I'm one of
3:25
the other hosts. Who knows how many there are?
3:28
I mean, there's just you and I, but.
3:29
There are. It is.
3:30
It's just you and me, babe. But.
3:33
Maybe there's someone over. Maybe there's someone over here?
3:36
We're just leaving, Leaving it open.
3:38
Leaving open. I love that.
3:40
OK, well Caleb, we had talked about many, many things in our
3:45
last conversation and it sounds like we had committed to looking
3:49
into several of those topics and coming back and giving them like
3:52
a follow up. So let's circle back to some of
3:54
our conversation topics from last week.
3:57
Would you like to start? Sure.
4:00
I when we spoke last week, I committed to watching maternal
4:09
instinct. Was that what it was?
4:10
Maternal. Yeah, yes.
4:12
What a show, the creepy ass. Documentary.
4:15
Yeah, you did. That night I believe I, Matthew
4:18
and I sat down and we watched it.
4:21
What an interesting show. OK, there were a few things that
4:29
I like took away. First of all, I can't remember
4:32
where they are. They're Georgia or Alabama or
4:34
something like that, but that accent will really just.
4:37
It's Texas, baby. Texas it's.
4:40
Texas and. Good for Texas, you know y'all
4:44
really are doing it down there. It's.
4:47
A big place. There's lots of parts of it,
4:49
yeah. Yeah.
4:50
Do they all sound the same down there in Texas?
4:52
No. Do you have friends from Texas?
4:56
Yes, but they're transplants like they used to be in the
4:58
Northwest, so they don't have the accent.
5:02
Yeah, I wonder, I wonder how they're, are they accepted down
5:05
there without the accent? Oh, I know.
5:08
I'm on a bit of a tangent now. You.
5:09
I was gonna say focus up, focus up.
5:12
Tell me about the documentary. Get his, get his.
5:14
Take us back. Yeah, so the doc I don't OK.
5:17
Because I'm gonna need more than it was.
5:19
Interesting that lady's like. That lady's clearly crazy,
5:22
right? My immediate take was she's when
5:25
you were telling me about it, I was like, they must be on drugs,
5:27
right? But I don't know.
5:29
And I don't think they really, they didn't necessarily answer
5:33
that. But the more I watched, the more
5:35
I was like, I don't think this is the drug thing.
5:37
This seems like someone who is whatever.
5:40
They don't really explore who she is or what happened to her
5:45
in her past or whatever it is that created this monster.
5:50
Yeah. But you know, I do know that
5:54
hurt people hurt people. And that's not excuses because I
5:59
don't believe that that is an excuse.
6:02
Like, it just helps me kind of figure out like, what the fuck
6:04
is going on over here? Yeah, on this day.
6:07
But baby, that Lady was nuts. I think OK, so in taking time to
6:14
actually think and process through it and talking about
6:18
with some other people, I do think Munchauser seems to be a
6:23
fairly safe diagnosis at this point.
6:25
So Munchauser by proxy is typically where parents make
6:28
their kids sick so that they can take care of them.
6:31
But Munchauser syndrome is a severe mental health condition.
6:35
I'm looking at Google's AI definition, not the diagnostic
6:38
statistic manual. So just sit, sit back, sit back
6:41
with your critic self OK Intentionally fakes, exaggerates
6:45
or induces illness in themselves or like fabricates some sort of
6:51
symptom. It's often to do with illness,
6:53
which she did when she was younger.
6:55
But it's, it's about it's, it's rooted in the attention.
6:58
So she's creating a situation where she's getting attention.
7:03
Interesting. Yeah.
7:04
And she did. And she got attention.
7:06
She got a lot of attention faking a pregnancy as well.
7:13
But she faked a lot of things. And I think that was part of the
7:15
story is like everything was fabricated in her, in her world.
7:20
Like she she'd fabricated a lot and it was just, you know,
7:25
anything. She was just throwing shit at
7:26
the wall to see what stuck. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
7:33
How did you feel as far as the boyfriend goes?
7:39
I felt bad for him. OK.
7:42
But I also, I feel like there was a a willful commitment to
7:47
ignorance on his part because I feel like there was enough shady
7:53
shit going down that if he had like thoughtfully questioned
7:58
with any depth of commitment, like her House of Cards would
8:02
have come crashing down. And so the fact that he didn't I
8:06
think is its own issue. And I don't know if it's just we
8:11
need to do a better job of teaching our men how to feel
8:13
things and like thrust internal instincts, but yeah, I was
8:21
pretty amazed at how willingly he committed to denial and
8:27
disillusionment. There's a couple things that
8:30
were worth that stood out to me. I think that there is an
8:35
understanding in this patriarchal society that we live
8:43
in, and maybe specifically, I'm not speaking for Texas as a
8:46
whole, but in more conservative realms.
8:50
Like a rural community, Yeah. Yeah, I mean, what we're looking
8:54
at, right? There were a lot of women
8:56
talking about what was going on, and there were a lot of women
9:01
blowing whistles about what was going on.
9:03
Yeah. And it seemed to me like those
9:05
women were dismissed as more of, like, gossip mongers, right?
9:09
Like, it was just gossip. Oh, she's just trying to start
9:13
some drama or she doesn't like her or whatever it is.
9:15
So that mentality of like women not being trustworthy because of
9:21
whatever reason I think played a big part in it.
9:25
And then, yeah, I think there's something about like we talked
9:28
about this epidemic of male loneliness and we talked about
9:32
how men aren't allowed to feel. And I think these are things
9:34
that are valid and true, things that are like easily dismissed
9:44
in like our our culture. But yeah, we see it play out in
9:51
that this, the guy was probably, you know, just really enjoyed
9:56
having someone who was obsessed with him.
9:58
And like, there was a cup. There was a point where he says,
10:03
I think she just was hoping that one day I would tell her I loved
10:08
her. And I was like, that's so
10:12
interesting. I don't, I didn't, I, I guess my
10:18
bullshit meter flew up on that one.
10:21
I was like, I'm sure that you did, like I'm sure that you did.
10:24
I'm sure that you guys loved each other.
10:25
I'm sure you did love her and thought good things about her.
10:29
And then everything fell down around you.
10:31
And that must be really difficult and fucked up.
10:35
And he, you know, he thought he was having a kid.
10:38
Yeah, yeah. I mean, a lot of the lies that
10:41
she told were specifically designed to keep him by her
10:45
side. Like the first, the big one was
10:47
the money, which, like, he would have been set for life with his
10:50
dream property if that had turned out to be true.
10:54
And then it wasn't. But now she's pregnant and you
10:57
can't walk away, you know, from a Yeah, It was just a situation.
11:01
Yeah, and of course it's easy. I mean, and they talked about
11:04
all of the different people who were who were tricked by it.
11:07
Anyway, worth watching if you're not squeamish.
11:11
And the murder of of mother and child doesn't send you too into
11:16
too dark of a place because it is really sad.
11:18
It is a tragedy the, you know, the victim and her family.
11:24
I mean, how horrible. What a horrible scene to be have
11:29
in my head. You know, I have a very vivid
11:31
imagination as well. So I'm like, I'm watching and
11:35
I'm like, oh, I could like, you know.
11:38
Imagine like what they walked into.
11:40
The visual of that is brutal. Absolutely.
11:42
Really fucking brutal, but interesting.
11:48
What is that called? We actually talked about this,
11:50
that anthropolo, like anthropological study or
11:56
whatever. Just the study of people and the
11:59
way that they fucking work. Interesting.
12:02
Yeah, people and social systems and family systems and yeah,
12:07
there's, I mean, there's a lot to be taken away from that when
12:09
it comes to just power dynamics and how people can structure
12:15
things in such a way that they're untouchable.
12:19
But yeah, it was. I'm glad that you watched it and
12:22
thank you for watching it. Thanks for the recommendation.
12:25
I'd give it a 7 and watch a 7 out of 10 watchability total
12:30
package. I think I would.
12:32
My recommendation level is A7. A7 OK, yeah, you made me now
12:39
analyze it out of a 5, so out. Of a five, yeah.
12:45
Come on, baby, apples to apple. Out of A5, I'd give it a four.
12:51
Yeah, I'd give it a four. OK, Yeah.
12:53
Well, awesome. Yeah.
12:54
Well, thank you for that. I would like to circle back to a
12:56
couple other topics if you're OK moving on, right?
12:58
Love it, let's do it. OK.
13:00
We talked about tipping culture when it came to our spin the
13:03
wheel discussion last week and looking at services that now
13:08
have built in like tip services that make it so you have to like
13:12
almost automatically tip. And we were talking through
13:14
like, when is it? When is it necessary?
13:17
When is it unnecessary? When is it over the top?
13:19
OK, so I just kept track this last week over the different
13:22
services that I tipped for. And I wanted your input on
13:25
whether or not this is a thumbs up.
13:27
Yes, continue this practice or like maybe make a different
13:30
choice in the future. OK, OK, great.
13:33
So the first one was I tipped Papa Murphy's Pizza for making
13:36
my pizza. I would say a thumbs up.
13:40
But like because it's take out, it's take out but it there's
13:43
assembly required. But Papa Murphy's is cool, so to
13:47
me that's a thumbs up. But I would say like a 10 to
13:52
15%. OK OK so then I do need to
13:55
modify because I definitely tip higher than that so.
13:58
But The thing is, maybe you really liked Did you?
14:01
Did you like What informs your decision to tip?
14:06
Well, I'm a regular at Papa Murphy's and.
14:09
That's a big part. Yeah.
14:11
And I, it has become one of those places that is one of my
14:16
favorite places on earth where it's like, yeah, it's a staple
14:19
in our family because our Papa Murphy's is in the same parking
14:24
lot as a Safeway. And so it is a pretty regular
14:28
routine in our family that we pick up pizza and ice cream.
14:32
And so like it's, it's built into our lives.
14:35
And so like I, I have more inclination to tip them to a
14:40
higher percentage than based on the service itself.
14:42
There's other factors. So thank you for allowing those
14:45
to weigh in. Yeah, absolutely.
14:46
That's really important too because that that's called
14:51
relationship building and I love to build relationship on the
14:54
basis of financials, monetary value.
14:59
Well, OK, well, here's the thing.
15:01
Like whenever it comes to like ongoing relationships, yes,
15:05
that's a factor. Like when I, when I pay my
15:08
babysitters or house sitters, like I'm going to pay them, I
15:11
want to be almost extravagant. One, because they're usually,
15:15
you know, high school or college age kids who need the money more
15:18
than I do. And two, like I want, I want
15:21
them to want to come to our house.
15:23
Like, I don't want them to begrudge the relationship or
15:25
begrudge being asked. Like it's enough of a sacrifice
15:28
to ask somebody to come watch your kids, even mine are
15:31
awesome. And like, I want them to be
15:34
like, yes, Oh my gosh, anytime I can sit for a sauce, I'm down.
15:38
Like, absolutely. OK, so I have your approval on
15:41
Papa Murphy's. Fantastic.
15:43
Starbucks. I also tipped Starbucks OK this
15:48
week. Well, you told me when there's
15:50
beverages that are being put together with more than one
15:52
ingredient, Yeah. Yeah, I think so.
15:56
I think it's appropriate to tip at Starbucks.
15:58
It's it's for so long. It was not like a tip situation.
16:03
But I'm like if I'm just holding on to my rules of, you know,
16:09
beverage creation, but I don't see why not.
16:12
I don't see why not. Well, you had said last week
16:14
your coffee shop. Are you?
16:16
Do you differentiate in your head between like a local small
16:19
business coffee shop and a corporation coffee shop?
16:21
Totally. But the people are the same.
16:23
That's not fair. Like the people are the same and
16:25
they're not getting paid more. They're potentially getting paid
16:28
less because corporate shit. So yeah, I think tipping at
16:33
Starbucks. Is we tip at Starbucks?
16:36
OK. And this is a given, like dine
16:38
in restaurant service? Yes, we tip.
16:40
Yeah. OK, here's the last one.
16:42
This is the one that I'm on the fence on.
16:45
Brandon. I'm not gonna own this.
16:47
Brandon tipped when we bought ice cream cones.
16:51
OK, ice cream at like Cold Stone.
16:55
Not Cold Stone it was it was like, I mean the the work that
17:00
was required was for the gal behind the counter to 1st off,
17:03
ignore where we were standing in line and shift towards the
17:09
people behind us. So that I had to go from first
17:11
in line to 10th in line. So that I had, I had some Karen
17:14
feelings that were really wanting to activate and I like
17:17
had to aggressively sit her down and be like, no, this is not
17:21
productive. But really I was muttering under
17:23
my breath. Why didn't she see it?
17:24
So we were seeing seeing like making it the.
17:27
So after that experience, our Marty Grouchy, the only work
17:31
that was required was scooping the ice cream out of the bins
17:34
and putting it in a cone. And it wasn't a homemade cone.
17:37
It was like a store bought cone. And he tipped like 20%.
17:43
That is so generous and kind and not something I would do.
17:47
OK. Not something I would have done.
17:49
I felt like that. I agree it wasn't assembly
17:51
required, it was a scoop and that was literally her job.
17:55
Well, and it's less about the job, but more about the
18:01
performance, right? Like if you're, if you're not
18:03
like for me, I'm like, I'm tipping based on the experience.
18:06
And I don't know this it gets tricky, right, because I am, I
18:10
was going to go back and be like restaurant.
18:12
It is a given, but I want to get get real about the given thing.
18:15
Because if you're going to be an ass, if you're going to be a
18:17
shitty server, then I think it's a given that you're guaranteed
18:21
at least some tip. Like if I have a bad experience
18:23
I like, I'm like. For dining service at a
18:26
restaurant for dining. Service at a restaurant.
18:27
If I have a bad experience, I'm probably still going to tip.
18:31
It's like 95% certain that I'm going to tip unless it's like
18:35
really horrible, but then I'm not going to pay.
18:38
I'm like, if I'm not, if I'm at the point where I'm not tipping,
18:41
I'm like, I'm not paying for any of this.
18:42
Shit and walk down. Oh, well, I would tell them I'm
18:46
not paying. I would, I would say I'm not
18:48
going to pay for this and I'm going to leave.
18:50
That's. Oh OK, not dine.
18:52
And walk out not I mean I don't want to dine in dash, but like
18:56
however they need to calculate it is fine.
18:58
I don't get if it's that bad. I can count on one hand the
19:01
amount of times that's happened. It's and I'm I'm, you know, a
19:05
feisty gal, so. Wow.
19:08
I can't imagine a world where I would do that.
19:10
I need to imagine a world where I would do that.
19:11
If I had a horrible service, I would probably just grumble and
19:14
be like, we're never coming back here again, you know, and.
19:18
Sometimes that's the way, you know, and sometimes that's the
19:21
way to do it for me. And sometimes I have done that.
19:24
I have had horrible service and been like, I'm just never going
19:27
to come back here again. Or maybe that person's having a
19:29
bad day. And I get it.
19:32
I've been there. I've been that person that's
19:34
having a bad day and someone said something that set me off
19:37
and I was like, are you fucking stupid?
19:42
Like, but that's as a bartender, it's a little bit different.
19:45
Anyway. It's about the performance of
19:47
the job when it comes to like something that I'm that I'm iffy
19:52
about and if I was not happy with the person.
19:55
OK. I'd just get my ice cream and
19:57
go. OK, so I like this idea.
20:00
I've always thought like it's a, it's a I'm thinking binary man.
20:04
And I gotta go like spectrum on this because I think tip or no
20:07
tip, like we either go all in at 20% or higher or nothing at all.
20:12
But I'm realizing this conversation that I have options
20:15
that I can just tip a smaller amount.
20:18
For a smaller. Service.
20:19
I love the Gray area. I love the area in between.
20:21
It's such a beautiful area. Look at me living like a
20:25
colorless life with this restrictive binary perspective
20:29
on the tip culture, OK? I am a very binary he him man.
20:36
But when it comes to tipping culture, I exist.
20:41
I contain multitudes, but I do want to put a cap on tipping.
20:47
I want to put a generic rule. It's not a hard and fast rule.
20:51
It's not a no matter what, never go over this.
20:54
But I really don't I'm I'm not comfortable with this 2530%.
21:00
Stuff I'm like. When I start to see that I'm
21:03
like, what is? What is happening on the
21:07
business side, and one thing I want to really flag is cost of
21:11
living is out of control. Like people are struggling.
21:15
People are, are truly struggling to pay their rent and, and pay
21:20
for their essentials while making what feels like should be
21:25
a lot of money. And like with tips and with
21:28
wages. I mean, minimum wage in Seattle
21:30
is almost $22.00 an hour and people who are just making
21:35
$22.00 an hour are probably living paycheck to paycheck at
21:39
best. Cost of living is insane.
21:42
So I don't say all of this without acknowledging that it's
21:46
there. It's a struggle out there right
21:47
now, I think for people across the board.
21:50
But 25%, I don't know girl. I'm not sure it's a.
21:57
Quarter, that's a lot. It's a lot of money.
22:00
It's a lot. It's a lot of money on what is
22:03
already a much higher bill. Like I went to breakfast the
22:07
other day. I'm like the just a diner and
22:11
the biscuits and gravy special was $29.00.
22:15
I'm like. Oh my gosh.
22:17
The the fuck $29.00 for biscuits and a pouch of gravy that you
22:23
probably got at Safeway. I'm like, and actually probably
22:27
didn't get it Safeway. You probably got a giant tub of
22:29
it at fucking chef's store and dropped it in.
22:33
I'm like, again, cost of everything is so expensive.
22:37
I get it, but it's difficult. It's difficult to pay an extra
22:44
25% on a bill that's. I mean a few.
22:47
Times I'm like astronomical $80.00 for breakfast for two
22:51
people. That's why it's me so.
22:53
Yeah, OK. Call me old.
22:57
All right, old. Yeah, let's go $80.00 for my
23:01
breakfast. Back in my day, I should.
23:03
Be able to have bottomless Bloody Marys and mimosas for 12.
23:07
Dollars, it's true. Where's my coffee?
23:14
Coffee. I love it.
23:16
All right. Well, thank you for your
23:19
guidance. I will continue to investigate
23:22
this reality. Yeah, I appreciate your input.
23:26
I tipped on lumber by the way I went to now this is I was in a
23:30
whole world that I didn't understand, so here I.
23:33
I already love this story. This is fantastic.
23:35
Headed to Home Depot because the club needs we were building
23:39
something. I have someone who is a great
23:42
builder at the club and so I needed a Bing built and so he
23:47
sends me a list of lumber that we need to get them.
23:53
Oh my God. I asked him before I go, I'm
23:56
like, do you think I could get this lumber cut in half or cut
23:59
down? Because I can't fit this in my
24:02
car. I can't fit this for real foot.
24:04
And he was like, yeah, just ask them.
24:06
They'll they'll cut it in half for you.
24:07
I'm like, OK, great. So I drive my happy ass down to
24:11
the local Home Depot and wandering.
24:15
I've got my like sunglasses. I've got my La Boo Boo on my
24:18
way. Yeah, I've picked up a little
24:24
flower as I'm walking in. I'm like, I like this flower.
24:28
And then I was like. I feel like I'm here for some
24:31
hardwood. I'm like, where's the lumber?
24:41
And they some lady, she points me over and I so I walk over
24:44
there and I'm just standing there looking at this wall of
24:46
lumber. Yeah.
24:47
And I'm like, I need to find a man to help me or a woman, but
24:51
like, you know, a person, a person to help me with.
24:54
An orange apron. Somebody still knows more than
24:56
my Boo Boo wearing ass. So I I find a couple people and
25:02
they're they're like, you just need to go get a car and put
25:05
what you need. Let me tell you, it took me a
25:07
while to figure out what is the difference?
25:09
Like what is 8 feet? First of all, I'm like, I needed
25:13
48 foot 2 by fours and four 8 foot 2 by sixes.
25:19
I needed that. Yes.
25:20
OK, so I find them, but anyway, I go and I have to get them cut.
25:25
I get them cut in half, and I'm standing there and he's cutting
25:28
everything. I'm like, wow, this is such a
25:29
skill I don't have. Yeah.
25:32
And so I was like, I should tip him something, right?
25:35
Like I should just give him some extra money because he did this
25:39
and all I had was 20s on me and so and I just happened to have
25:43
cash on me so I tipped him 20 bucks.
25:46
Nice, I love. That that, Yeah.
25:49
And then I took my happy ass out to the garden and got more
25:52
flowers. Perfect.
25:54
Yeah. Absolutely perfect.
25:56
Oh my gosh. And did you get what you needed
26:00
on one trip? Oh, I got what I needed, yeah.
26:03
OK, that's seriously impressive because when, when my beautiful
26:07
husband needs to go to Home Depot now, don't, don't tell
26:10
him, don't tell him that I said this, but he always needs
26:14
multiple trips because even if he makes a list, he still it's
26:18
not, it's not complete. And so it has it's like usually
26:21
three trips, like usually 3. Honestly, that's me too most of
26:26
the time, but when I'm going to like I I was on one yeah, that
26:30
day I've been on one yeah, cuz I, I had to fill up a tire once
26:35
I have to do one thing that feels like outside of the world
26:40
that I want to live in which we've been having tire pressure
26:43
problems. So I had to fill up the tire and
26:46
that meant I had to drive to multiple gas stations to find a
26:49
fucking because apparently you can't just find forced air and
26:53
like air to fill a tire with anywhere.
26:55
So yeah, most of the gas stations don't work anyway.
26:57
I did that and so my brain was in like do it things mode so.
27:02
Can you do you feel like you can conquer the world when you
27:04
stretch outside of your comfort zone and you do it successfully?
27:06
Are you like I'm a bad ass bitch?
27:08
I can do whatever I want? Absolutely.
27:09
Yeah. Incredible.
27:10
Yeah, I'm like, I need a treat because I did such a good job, I
27:17
need to go buy myself a bug. Yeah, and I think I bought
27:20
myself a new computer and a mic stand and things.
27:23
Yeah, so I was. Like perfect.
27:24
I'm getting what I want. There you go.
27:26
You did a good job. I'm so proud of you.
27:28
Thank you. That's fantastic.
27:32
Yeah. I, I really love everything that
27:34
you just painted in my brain of you walking into Home Depot.
27:38
That's a delight. That's a delight.
27:39
What a fun time. Next time I'll do some video we
27:41
can we can share. Yes, Oh my gosh, I'm terrible at
27:46
Home Depot 'cause I just wander around and I need somebody to
27:50
help me. And then I'm like really mean to
27:52
myself while I'm there. Like I, I'm like, I talk down
27:56
about like, I'm so sorry. I'm so damn.
27:57
I don't know any like it's why does that's not necessary.
28:00
That's what they're there for. They don't need me to apologize.
28:02
Yeah, and. If you feel dumb just tip them.
28:05
Yeah, there we go. Now I know.
28:07
Now you know. Money gets rid of all the
28:09
problems. Let's go.
28:12
That's beautiful. OK, he.
28:15
Well, I also, I need to talk to you about some celebrity culture
28:19
updates. OK, I'm ready.
28:22
Because Connor's story, I don't know if you saw he was nominated
28:27
for an Emmy. Did you see that?
28:30
I know it just happened this week, his first Emmy nomination
28:33
and it was for Outstanding Guest Actor in a comedy series for his
28:39
work when he hosted SNL. You're making a very confused
28:44
face. Did you didn't watch that
28:45
episode when Connor? No, no, I know.
28:47
I I just didn't know they gave out awards for SNL.
28:50
But that's great. I love.
28:51
Yeah. They do I know he's nominated so
28:54
we got to celebrate that and then also I I have to I told you
28:57
I told you I was on a one track mind and get ready to hear about
28:59
Zendaya nonstop forever. She continues to be like, I
29:06
don't even know how to explain the once in a generation.
29:08
This woman and her reign over the year 2026 is just endless
29:14
and stunning. So she just finished the Spider
29:17
Man brand new day press tour after, you know, if we rewind
29:21
the clock back. We also did the press tour and
29:25
released the drama her critically acclaimed feature
29:30
film with Rob Pats, Mr. Pattinson season 3 of Euphoria.
29:34
And she looked stunning at that premiere even though she didn't
29:36
spend a lot of time there. Then she did a jaw-dropping
29:39
method dressing press tour for spider man brand new day,
29:43
flashing her wedding ring because girl got married to Tom
29:46
Holland earlier this year. Now that like I don't know what
29:49
her turn around was maybe 24 hours.
29:52
But now she's doing press for the Odyssey and delivering a
29:56
completely new in, like, collection of looks inspired by
30:01
her role. She plays Athena in the movie,
30:04
and it's just incredible. And then today, she dropped the
30:08
trailer, the new trailer for Dune on her Instagram.
30:11
It's like just hit after hit after hit in the, the, the
30:15
concentration of it to have three blockbusters, massive,
30:20
massive blockbusters in one summer is just like staggering.
30:25
So that I cannot, cannot let that go by without celebrating
30:28
the wonder that she is. She's incredible.
30:31
I do think I need to see the Odyssey and I think I need to
30:33
see it in IMAX because that's what all the critics, I mean,
30:37
that's what everybody's saying is that it's incredible.
30:40
You know I don't know it's release date, but let me find it
30:44
because if it happens that weekend, I'm in Seattle to take
30:46
you to Haides town. End of July, right?
30:49
Yes, then we need to do that. But the other thing that's
30:54
giving me a little pause is some of the early screeners have said
30:59
things about he Christopher Nolan leans into the horror
31:03
aspect of the story. And that sounds scary and I
31:07
don't like that so. Well, he kind of does that,
31:10
right? Like he does he.
31:12
Christopher Nolan did the background movies right.
31:15
Yeah, he. Did, and he'd made them darker
31:17
and a little more edgy. It doesn't.
31:20
It's not horror necessarily. Like it's not blood and guts
31:23
every. But did Christopher Nolan do 300
31:25
or is that someone else? No, that's Zack Snyder.
31:28
Yeah. Same.
31:28
Yeah, yeah. Basically, same guy, different,
31:31
yeah. We no, that.
31:35
No, we're not. No, no, I refute that statement.
31:40
That is absolutely false. Not at all.
31:42
Are you more of a Christopher Nolan or is that yes?
31:45
Fan Oh my gosh, what is no Caleb, I'm a cancel this podcast
31:50
on you right now. Don't you dare.
31:53
My gosh. One day we're gonna get a clip
31:55
of all of the times that you started to cancel the podcast.
31:59
When you say stupid shit like Christopher Nolan and Zack
32:02
Snyder are the same person, Yeah, absolutely.
32:04
I'm gonna throw things at your face.
32:06
No. Yeah, folks, This is why we
32:08
don't feel the person we've. Gotta give you some protection.
32:12
Yeah, just in. It's the only protection I use
32:14
in life. From me, great.
32:18
Just like Heidi. Great choices that you make all
32:22
the other times when you would need protection.
32:25
Don't need it from me. OK, I'm sorry.
32:27
July 17th is when the Odyssey really is drops.
32:30
Thank you. The Odyssey.
32:31
I'll be in Portland then. Oh OK.
32:34
Yeah, yes. Then you should see it at
32:37
Bridgeport is the local IMAX. Bridgeport is, yeah, but.
32:40
You're going to be busy working, so maybe the next weekend, maybe
32:42
the 17th. I'll be free the 17th.
32:45
I mean, I will have I'll be working on pride stuff, but it's
32:49
not actually happening that day. So.
32:51
Oh. OK, Well then you, you can take
32:54
yourself out. But yeah, there we go.
32:56
Yeah, okay, so Zendaya continues to be the greatest.
32:59
Zendaya does, and I did see the video you sent me of Tom and
33:02
Zendaya and their little cute exchange on the red carpet where
33:07
he was like, what's that place that we go to?
33:10
That was very cute. I'll say they're very cute
33:14
together. OK, you said you said that
33:16
singular as if I sent you one real and I delivered what I
33:21
promised which was an onslaught of real so for you to view.
33:25
Did you just watch the one? I'm sure that I watched them
33:28
all, but that was the one that stood out to me.
33:31
That was such a safe answer, right?
33:34
OK, I'm only cancelling you once this conversation, so let's go.
33:38
OK, well, check, check. OK, so that was surface level
33:41
what I've been looking into, but hit me with what you've been
33:44
actually looking into this week, please and thank you.
33:48
OK so this week I decided I just had a wild on the same day I
33:54
think it was the day I went to Home Depot I.
33:57
It's a big day for you. It's.
33:58
A big day for me. Yeah.
33:59
Something came up on NPR. Someone said something, I don't
34:03
know if maybe it was like something came up about The
34:07
Outsiders or the author of The Outsiders.
34:09
And I don't know if you remember or like this is this was like a
34:13
book that I think we had to read in middle school, if I'm
34:16
correct, I think it was a middle school book.
34:19
I haven't touched it since middle school, but I just had
34:26
this, it came up and I was like, huh, I bet I could just download
34:29
this real quick and listen to it.
34:31
I mean, it's like a middle school level reading.
34:34
So it's got to be pretty fast. It was like an 8 hour read if
34:38
that on Audible. So which I'm sure there's other
34:42
platforms. I don't, I'm not a, you know,
34:45
whatever. Audible doesn't sponsor us just
34:48
yet. Yeah, and they would need to
34:50
really pay up, you know. We are expensive.
34:55
Some good Amazon money. This is a high quality situation
35:00
over here folks, so. Always, always, yeah.
35:04
Anyway, anyway, focus to outsiders.
35:08
I downloaded it and I started listening to it.
35:10
I listen I read through I think it took me like 2 days over the
35:15
course of like driving around on errands and listening before I
35:18
go to bed and whatever. And I just have had some
35:24
thoughts since then and I don't know that I really have any
35:28
answers, but I do have thoughts. Let's go.
35:32
I remember in middle school this book being so important.
35:37
Like, I remember reading it. I remember being devastated.
35:40
I remember this like palpable tension for me, a young, a young
35:47
queer person being, I think, desperate to find myself in
35:57
media. Like there was nothing that
35:59
reflected who I felt like, what I felt, who I was, what I was
36:04
experiencing in the media. And so I in this book was the
36:10
first time that I like read something and had an experience
36:16
where I could like kind of find myself in a character.
36:20
So powerful. OK.
36:21
And but The thing is, is you. So I was kind of going back into
36:26
it, listening to it. There is no queer representation
36:29
in this in this book. There is no gay person.
36:32
There's no, there's just men or boys who are sensitive and soft
36:41
while also being like hard, violent criminal.
36:48
I mean, they call themselves thugs and hoods like they they
36:52
say that. And it's just interesting this
36:56
like dichotomy and this softness that is being portrayed through
37:02
through in these characters that I like held onto and felt was
37:06
like some level of queer representation and queer
37:09
subtext. And so I was looking into that
37:11
this week of like, what is the queer subtext?
37:14
It was it written with that queer subtext in mind?
37:17
Or was it is that just something that came afterward and it
37:22
wasn't in the author's intent? And so the author that has been
37:27
interviewed about this and has said very clearly there are no
37:31
gay characters in this book and felt like she was being attacked
37:36
for being a straight, for being a heterosexual person writing a
37:39
heterosexual story, and that her characters were, like, being
37:44
taken from her, which I found really interesting.
37:48
Yeah. Because of course, as an author,
37:53
once you write something and put it out there, the characters
37:57
aren't really yours anymore. Thank you for delivering those
38:01
characters to the world. But the characters now belong to
38:03
every single reader individually.
38:05
Like, to me, there were queer stories, like that book was
38:12
riddled with queer stories and queer experiences.
38:15
But like, to you, it might not have been, like you might not
38:21
have had that same experience. So I guess it's just interesting
38:27
to reread it. It was just as devastating
38:30
reading it again and listening to it again and feeling those
38:34
feelings again, but this time from the experience of someone
38:38
who's almost 40, not from the experience of someone who's like
38:42
12. And reading about South, it's
38:45
like looking back at like these kids.
38:49
Such an interesting, interesting experience.
38:52
Do you remember the Outsiders? I remember it vaguely.
38:56
It didn't have the same like impact on me.
39:00
When I think about the books that really impacted me in that
39:02
season and like ripped my heart out.
39:05
It's like, you know, where the Red Fern grows, Bridge to
39:07
Terabithia, those stories. I remember The Outsiders being
39:10
an important book that we had to read.
39:13
And I also remember it was a movie that had Karate Kid in it.
39:19
But I, I don't have like, I wouldn't be able to tell you
39:23
what happens and I can't even give you a plot outline.
39:26
So I'm actually need to reread. I, I am struck as you're
39:29
talking. You know, there are there are
39:32
books that are identified as classics for a reason.
39:35
And when you can read them at every season of life and take
39:38
something different out of it and come back to it with
39:40
thoughts and reflections and like, oh, I hadn't seen it
39:43
through this perspective before. I think that's that's incredibly
39:47
powerful for literature to be able to do that.
39:49
And so I don't know, I feel like there were a lot of books that
39:53
were like mandatory reading that I didn't read because I was in
39:56
like an honors track program. Sorry.
39:58
And. She said that.
40:00
We had different, we had different books that we were
40:04
supposed to ring. And so I feel like I bypassed a
40:09
lot of books that were like mandatory reading for a lot of
40:13
grade levels. And so I'm not sure that I've
40:15
actually ever even read it. So I will put it I'll.
40:18
What if I gave you homework? I will try to do it.
40:22
I'm still reading the book that you signed me last week and
40:24
gosh, you know what books are. It's a lot slower to read a book
40:29
when it's not just people boning all the time.
40:36
It makes a lot more focus. I go like 1 chapter at a time.
40:39
Yeah, well, there's no boning in this in this book the.
40:42
Outsiders. All right, but the outsiders.
40:45
Yeah, OK, I will. I don't know if I'll get to it
40:48
this week, but yeah, no, I'll put it on the list.
40:51
It's interesting. It's it's and I don't know that
40:55
I have AI. Of course, I'm like, who's the
40:58
gay character? Right.
41:00
Yeah. So I'm like, I looked into that
41:02
There's but I don't think there has to be.
41:04
And I think that's something that as I was like kind of
41:06
combing through my feelings and my thoughts and and my response
41:10
to like the author's thoughts, who apparently she wrote it when
41:14
she was 15, which it kind of reads that way as well as I'm as
41:20
I'm like looking back, I'm like, OK, yeah, this is a 15 year old
41:22
girl writing about the boys that she in visions.
41:27
Sure. You know, all these boys have
41:29
deep feelings. I'm like, OK, yeah, maybe.
41:32
They're bad and they're criminals.
41:33
Yeah, good. They could be.
41:36
They have deep hearts and that is, I mean, gosh, that is why
41:39
women read that is that's why we we love the female gays because
41:44
we believe we believe that men and masculinity can be all of
41:49
those things at the same time, that your strength is not
41:53
weakened or lessened because you allow yourself to be vulnerable.
41:56
That's a different type of strength.
41:58
That's a different type of power.
41:59
And your willingness to take care of other people in your
42:02
life with thoughtfulness and compassion and to reflect on
42:05
your own feelings is incredibly strong and powerful.
42:08
So men, be strong and feel deep and let's.
42:12
Go. Absolutely.
42:14
And we need. Yeah, go.
42:16
Well, I was just going to say, I think that that is part of what
42:19
was really ringing true for me is that I think it's, it's
42:24
important for us to start being more open to the fact that men
42:31
can be soft and sensitive and full of emotion and, and full of
42:37
love and tenderness without being gay.
42:41
Like it just the identity of a, a soft man doesn't mean that
42:45
he's gay and it doesn't require that.
42:48
Like that reality doesn't require that there be queer
42:52
subtext. Even though it was so important
42:54
for me to see myself in that character when I was that young
42:59
and I needed that. And I'm so thankful that I was
43:01
able to have that. Not that anyone else did that
43:04
for me. I found that myself.
43:06
But it's OK that there is no gay character in in the book.
43:12
It's OK. They can all be straight.
43:13
They can also just be like soft characters that I related to as
43:17
a soft man or a soft boy at the time and now you know.
43:23
So anyway, I think it's OK for men to be soft.
43:24
They don't have to be faggots too, but.
43:29
I mean, I'm. But they can be.
43:31
Yes, yeah. I'm, I'm grateful for your
43:35
thoughts. And I'm thinking about the
43:37
conversation we had a while back about Benson Boone, when I
43:40
reached out to you after Benson was flouncing around on a
43:44
balcony and a cute little lace dress.
43:45
And I was like, he's not to, to my knowledge, he has not
43:49
disclosed his sexuality. Is this queerbaiting?
43:51
And you were like, it doesn't have to be because men can like
43:54
lace. And I was like, oh, calling me
43:57
in on that one. I was like, you're right.
44:00
But in my head, that's that's a no.
44:02
Like it's so many things that are like culturally driven into
44:05
us that are not not necessary. I think that you and I need to
44:11
actually maybe sync up the, the, the media that we consume.
44:18
I mean, the reason we started this podcast is it was born out
44:21
of us having such varied experiences watching heated
44:25
rivalry and the conversations that we had.
44:27
And with this reflection that art is one thing to the artist
44:32
and art is a reflection in a different way to the consumer.
44:36
Like there's there's value in US bringing different perspectives
44:39
to the table because you and I have had such different lived
44:43
experience that. I agree.
44:46
I think that instead of taking turns and you've watched, I
44:49
watch something and then you watch something and then you
44:51
read something. One of these days what?
44:53
If we do it at the same. Time.
44:55
Maybe it might happen, I don't know.
44:58
We we operate on such different whims and wavelengths, though in
45:01
that length it might not work such.
45:03
Flimsy at this podcast such. Whimsy.
45:07
But yeah, maybe we could. Yeah, we could try to make that
45:10
happen again. I thought that yeah, let's do
45:12
it. OK, because now when I read it,
45:16
I'm gonna have your worldview in my mind as I go, as I go at it.
45:21
So. Which is will be fun in its own,
45:25
in its own way. But I do agree with you that I
45:27
think that there's, you know, and maybe maybe our listeners
45:31
have a desire to give us homework and have us both
45:33
experience something. We'll see, you know.
45:36
Gosh, I would love that somebody else.
45:38
You could send us suggestions at our e-mail address, which is
45:44
looking into podcast@gmail.com. Yeah, or you could leave a
45:50
comment on this, the Spotify podcast.
45:52
Yeah. Yeah.
45:53
Hello, Spotify. Tell us.
45:54
Tell us what you want us to watch.
45:56
Yeah, OK, it. Better be good.
46:00
That that, yes, don't tell us shit we're gonna be really
46:04
cranky about. It we'll just RIP you apart.
46:07
Just kidding. Just kidding.
46:09
We love you conditionally. And that's true, I do love
46:13
pretty conditionally to be honest.
46:17
I feel like we're Andy and Oh my gosh, April from Parks and Rec
46:23
right now where they're planning their Halloween party and she's
46:25
like, he's like, and it's gonna be fun and she's like, people
46:30
will die and he's like, have fun of murder.
46:32
I miss your recommendations, but make sure they're not terrible.
46:37
We'll love you over. Here, I love it.
46:39
April. I don't like Chris.
46:41
What's his name? But I do love her.
46:44
Yeah. Well, she is incredible.
46:46
Yeah. OK, well, I I wanted to shift
46:49
towards one other topic that has been everywhere lately and we
46:55
had a fabulous listener question that was submitted to us that
46:58
totally aligns with this. So I want to talk about the
46:59
World Cup. Yes.
47:01
OK, now they do a. Games down there?
47:05
You know, I don't, I don't know, OK, here's the OK, here's the
47:09
thing. One of my many things that I can
47:12
be working on in therapy is that I feel like I have to earn
47:15
things. And I don't watch soccer or
47:18
football or football on like the regular.
47:21
I don't watch any sports ball on the regular.
47:23
And so I feel like I haven't earned the right to watch the
47:27
World Cup because I'm not like a real quote fan.
47:32
And so I feel like I'm not allowed.
47:34
Isn't that weird? That is.
47:36
Unnecessary. An unnecessary limitation.
47:39
Ridiculous. Anyway, I have been, so no, I
47:42
don't know. I do know that the matches that
47:44
are coming up this week are seem to be very exciting.
47:48
So we're in the top 8 now. The US is out.
47:53
Yeah, so tomorrow France and Morocco play, and then on Friday
47:58
Spain and Belgium, OK Saturday, Norway plays England, OK in the
48:04
afternoon, and then Argentina plays Switzerland in the
48:07
evening. So the next few days we'll have
48:10
lots of big events. Yeah.
48:12
So I want to talk to you about who's been killing my feed and
48:16
has taken the world by storm, and that is the Norwegian
48:20
striker. Do you know who I'm talking
48:21
about? Nope.
48:23
Erling Holland. Sounds hot.
48:26
Oh my gosh, Caleb Obama send you so many new clips.
48:28
Be ready. He is this massive man like so
48:34
tall, just an absolute Viking of a human and he it is so scary
48:41
when he runs like he runs fast like is his speed defies logic.
48:48
He's so fast and he has scored so many goals.
48:52
He has put down multiple goals in multiple games, which hasn't
48:56
happened since like World Cup in the 50s.
49:00
He has seven goals in this game, in this in this tournament.
49:04
And he's just the most incredible content.
49:07
Like his goals, the way he interacts with other players,
49:10
the way it looks when he sprints, when he runs into
49:13
people and they, you know, just, I mean, soccer players flop, but
49:16
like they really flop when they run into the brick wall that is
49:19
Erin Holland. And he's just he's fascinating.
49:22
So he's been a really fascinating star to see emerge.
49:25
It reminds me a lot of how the women's, the American women's
49:29
rugby player Ilona Maher, just like exploded during her content
49:34
creation from the Olympics. And he's having a similar, I
49:37
feel like meteoric presence where like, out of all of the
49:43
the hundreds of people who are competing, like he is having a
49:47
moment in like international social awareness of who this man
49:52
is. So yeah, yeah, I'm really sad.
49:55
I can, I can see him right now. I'm like, yeah, well, he's not
49:59
conventionally hot. He's not.
50:00
Conventionally attractive, but it.
50:02
Does look like physically a body.
50:08
He's equipped with all of the tools necessary for someone like
50:15
me to enjoy him. Oh my gosh.
50:20
But we as we have previously discussed and established,
50:24
soccer creates the hottest. It is the hottest.
50:27
Part yes, that is, that is Canon at this podcast.
50:31
Yeah, yeah, it is. Soccer players are the hottest
50:33
of all professional athletes. So, OK, but here's here's the
50:37
listener question that came through was it's so Erling
50:40
Holland is not the only aspect of the World Cup that is taking
50:45
social media by storm. OK.
50:47
So there is a lot of content that's coming out of people from
50:52
other countries who have travelled to the Americas to
50:55
participate in the World Cup from a spectator roll and have
50:59
been blown away by certain aspects of American culture.
51:02
So if you haven't seen this, like the liquid bins at like the
51:07
TSA stations and the airports are full of containers of ranch
51:10
because people are trying to bring like endless amounts of
51:14
ranch back home with them. They're so excited about ranch.
51:17
And yeah, that's true. American grocery stores and
51:22
restaurants and the quality of food.
51:24
And there have been some really lovely stories that have come
51:27
out of people responding to with disbelief and gratitude at the
51:32
people that they've encountered. So the expectation how America
51:36
is known in the world. It's a place that's scary, with
51:40
lots of shootings and lots of guns and lots of arrogance.
51:46
Excuse me. And people have been, you know,
51:50
legitimately cautious about coming to our country and then
51:54
have met people and been blown away by the kindness of their
51:56
neighbors. So tons of foreigners.
51:59
This is the question. Tons of foreigners visiting
52:01
through the World Cup are completely blown away, not only
52:03
by materialistic things like amazing food, gigantic stadiums,
52:06
excessive grocery stores, etcetera, but more so by the
52:09
hospitality and the kindness of American people.
52:13
So there's a couple questions here, but the first one is, are
52:15
Americans bad at recognizing the good parts of our own culture?
52:21
And what do we take for granted? I think it's it's so
52:31
interesting. I don't know that we're sad at
52:38
recognizing the good parts of our own culture, but I do think
52:42
that with politics the way that they are and how divided we are
52:47
as a nation, not theologically, but that too.
52:52
But anyway, how just ideologically we're all, we're,
53:00
we're so divided into these camps that are kind of at war
53:05
with each other that we're, instead of focusing on the
53:08
positives and, and the good things about the American
53:16
culture, the fabric of our society and the the positives of
53:20
what we built this country around, We're really focused on
53:26
what we hate about each other and what's wrong with the other
53:29
side. And whatever it is.
53:31
I think we've, this has been part of the discourse over the
53:35
last four years or so is we're talking about like what has
53:39
broken us apart. So it's broken apart families,
53:43
it's destroyed relationships. It's you know, it's this thing,
53:47
this sickness in American culture right now that has a so
53:51
turned against each other and that has the world being like
53:55
what the we don't want to go there.
53:56
That place is crazy. Those people are crazy.
53:58
They're killing each other in the grocery stores like and it's
54:02
it's true. We are, but I think by, like, by
54:09
far, there is more good in the American Society than there is
54:16
evil. It's just that the evil's really
54:18
loud right now. The negative is really loud,
54:20
Yeah. Yeah.
54:22
What do you think? Well, I totally agree with that.
54:25
I do think that what we see and what, what makes the headlines
54:31
and what drives like the, the narrative, what's put out there
54:35
tends to be the most negative. It gets the most clicks too.
54:39
It gets the most clicks. And I, I, I do hate that because
54:44
I think the majority that that doesn't represent the majority.
54:49
I also think that in the same way that we were talking about
54:53
the Gray and, and the duality of humanity when we were talking
54:59
about the outsiders, that you can be sensitive and you can
55:01
also be tough at the same time. I think that that is a factor
55:06
here as well because like there's a lot to complain about
55:10
in our country right now. It's a dumpster fire and it's a
55:13
dumpster fire for a lot of people.
55:16
And I, I recognize as I'm saying this, like a, a lot of the
55:21
things that are massively concerning in our country don't
55:23
directly impact me because I have a lot of privilege pockets
55:26
that I dwell within. But for anybody of Latinx
55:31
descent or you know, trans kids or women who are not middle-aged
55:40
with like I am, I am a middle-aged woman.
55:42
I'm married to a man and I have two children.
55:43
Like I am approved by most camps in this world as an acceptable
55:48
form of womanhood or whatever, but there's a, there's a lot of
55:53
groups that have it really, really scary and really, really
55:57
rough right now. And so I don't want to, I don't
56:01
want to overlook that and say like, but what about the good?
56:05
Because there is lots of good in our country, but like we, we
56:08
have to hold and continue to hold that things are bad and
56:14
unsafe and getting more and more unsafe and scary for a lot of
56:18
groups. And like, and this question for
56:25
me because but, and then, and yet there is so much to
56:29
celebrate about being human, about existing in this space,
56:34
about living in this country. And this question reminds me of
56:39
what it is that we all deserve. Like we all deserve to be
56:45
welcoming, to be welcomed, to have the freedom and the safety,
56:50
to be able to greet others with hospitality and warmth, to be
56:55
able to, like, have access to grocery stores and access to
56:59
restaurants and access to ranch dressing and to feel safe going
57:04
out and accessing those resources without feeling like
57:06
we're taking our lives in our own hands.
57:09
And so like, there's so much to celebrate.
57:11
That's like the richness of living that I love, that people
57:16
are experiencing it and bringing it back to the forefront to give
57:19
us that perspective from inside this country.
57:21
That's like, there are things to celebrate here, but ultimately
57:24
for me, I'm like, yeah, but not everybody gets to celebrate and
57:28
access those things. And so like, we have to continue
57:31
holding this tension of like, things are really not okay for a
57:35
lot of people, and everybody deserves to have this kind of
57:38
access. That people who are fortunate
57:41
enough to come from other countries to see us and witness
57:44
are able to see. This is valuable, but it's only
57:47
valuable if you can access it. And everybody deserves the right
57:51
to access it. And so that's kind of how I feel
57:53
on that is that I don't know that it's that we take it for
57:55
granted so much as there's so many things to focus on.
58:00
Like I don't know that we've lost sight of the good, but
58:02
it's, it's really we we also can't lose sight of the struggle
58:07
and the fact that not everybody has access to the good, right?
58:11
Absolutely. It's not.
58:13
It's not all the time and I think that's what happens too.
58:18
I think that America culturally isn't really we're not known for
58:25
advertising our tenderness. America's known Americans are
58:29
known for being tough, right like or abrasive, arrogant, big,
58:36
you know, big headed, all of those things.
58:40
And so with people have that expectation and then they come
58:45
and they meet someone who isn't, you know, it turns out that the
58:49
300 million Americans are not all the same.
58:52
You know, it's the same way that it turns out that, you know, any
58:59
group of people that we don't exist as monoliths.
59:03
Like, we just aren't. So, you know, not all gay people
59:07
are fashionistas, you know? Not all people in Texas have the
59:12
same accent. Exactly.
59:14
Maybe they should. It's a nice accent.
59:18
But it's a big place. It's a big place.
59:20
And I think like when it comes to the things that we do take
59:23
for granted in America, one of my favorite things about this
59:25
country is that it's a big place and that the, the variety of
59:30
experiences that you can have within this country is, is
59:34
incredible. Like I was just, and one of my
59:38
other favorite things about America is the West Coast.
59:41
And I was just down in Southern Oregon at this beautiful
59:44
wedding, But most of the guests from the wedding were from other
59:46
places like Cincinnati or Chicago.
59:49
And they'd flown in. And just the variety of people
59:52
and lived experiences and personalities and cultures that
59:55
were represented even in this one little microcosm, this
59:58
little group of people, it was remarkable.
1:00:00
Like, this is a big place with lots of people and lots of
1:00:03
stories and. Lots of lives and mostly
1:00:06
everyone is going to jump at the opportunity to play a host and
1:00:10
just say, Oh my gosh, you're a guest here.
1:00:13
I cannot wait to show you my city.
1:00:15
Like, let me show you the cool things you have to eat at this
1:00:18
place. Like we are.
1:00:20
We are excited to share the things that we do love with one
1:00:23
another in that. I love that people are seeing
1:00:26
that and that it's a reminder to us that we have that in US.
1:00:30
Yeah, I don't, I don't know why. And here's the follow up
1:00:33
question from this listener who just really wants us to think
1:00:38
why are Americans so genuinely welcoming and kind towards
1:00:41
visitors, but still so seemingly divided amongst ourselves?
1:00:45
Yeah. Well, I also think there's a
1:00:48
there. I think we're welcoming and kind
1:00:52
towards. I think you touched on that.
1:00:54
It's like we on an individual basis, we all want to play
1:00:57
posts. I bet even those people who may
1:01:02
have different idea ideals than you or I and maybe have
1:01:06
different thoughts about immigration policy or things
1:01:10
like that, that we could throw the label of xenophobic on or
1:01:14
something like that, which I'm not here to debate that, but I
1:01:18
bet those people would even jump to play host as well.
1:01:21
So I think it's a, it's a, it's an individual kind of thing.
1:01:29
We, yeah, I think ideologically we're really divided because
1:01:33
we've been told to be by our overlords.
1:01:36
That's my thought as the, as I'm not really a conspiracy
1:01:39
theorist, but I do think that our, our government officials,
1:01:43
it, it benefits them for us to be at each other's throats
1:01:45
because then we're not at theirs.
1:01:47
So that's just my thought. It makes sense for us to all to
1:01:52
split us right down the middle and make sure that no progress
1:01:56
is really happening. And everyone up there just gets
1:02:00
to sit in their jobs, making their salaries and free travel
1:02:05
and their families get their benefits and all of that.
1:02:08
And they don't really have to answer to anybody because we all
1:02:09
fucking hate each other. So that's what I think.
1:02:14
Yes, yeah. No, I'm not going to argue with
1:02:17
you on that. Gosh, I, I just, okay, I just
1:02:21
rewatched Men in Black with my kids and there's a line in there
1:02:27
that Tommy Lee Jones says when Will Smith asks them like, why
1:02:31
wouldn't you tell people that this exists?
1:02:32
Why wouldn't you tell people that aliens exist?
1:02:34
And he says he's like, people are smart.
1:02:36
And Tommy Lee Jones says, no, a person is smart.
1:02:39
Like people are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and and you
1:02:44
know it. And I think like they're, when
1:02:47
you get somebody on an individual level, regardless of
1:02:49
their ideological or ideological stance on LGBTQIA plus rights or
1:02:56
gendered sports or gun rights or, or, or immigration or, or,
1:03:01
or whatever the topic is, if you get a person and you connect
1:03:05
with them on a person level, like there's so much natural
1:03:09
divinity within all of us that we're going to reach out to
1:03:12
connect, to host, to welcome. For the most part, that's a
1:03:16
generalization. But when you start grouping up
1:03:20
into identifying with a community of belonging and then
1:03:25
you get into that group think space, you, the focus shifts
1:03:29
really quickly into what defines me and what defines you.
1:03:32
And then there's that divide of US versus them of I'm defining
1:03:36
myself by what I am and also what I'm not.
1:03:39
And and I can't do that without pointing my finger at somebody
1:03:41
else and vilifying somebody else.
1:03:43
And and then into in order to secure our own places, we
1:03:47
distance and then there's judgement.
1:03:49
And so I think individually, like no matter where you are and
1:03:54
who you are, gosh, there's so much goodness.
1:03:58
Yeah. In a person.
1:04:01
Yeah, I agree. Gosh, the way we have grouped up
1:04:04
as people is so destructive. Yeah, yeah.
1:04:08
It's not helping anyone. No, yeah, but like, I'm glad
1:04:17
that the European kids are falling in love with ranch, I
1:04:20
guess, like. OK.
1:04:21
But I will say, like the sauces situation in America is, with
1:04:31
all due respect to the world, we do have the sauces game on lock.
1:04:36
Like we are, we are. We've got the sauces, we've got
1:04:39
the ranch. We've got the peppercorn ranch,
1:04:40
we've got the Sriracha ranch, we've got the honey mustard,
1:04:42
we've got the we've got the 1700 flavors of BBQ sauce Mama, we
1:04:50
got the sauces. Oh, and campfire sauce you can't
1:04:52
forget. Yeah, campfire sauce.
1:04:55
The Red Robin. Their campfire sauce is my
1:04:57
favorite sauce. What?
1:04:58
I've never had that. I don't know what it is.
1:05:00
It's probably like BBQ sauce and Mayo mixed together.
1:05:02
I don't know, I don't care. I'm like here for it.
1:05:04
Mix the sauce with Mayo. That's fierce, Yeah.
1:05:07
I don't. I don't wanna know what's in it.
1:05:09
I just order campfire sauce and they bring it to me, my table
1:05:11
with my fries and I gobble that up.
1:05:14
I love it. Wow.
1:05:15
Yeah, I also am a big fan of tartar sauce.
1:05:18
I love tartar sauce, but I love all the things that go with
1:05:20
tartar sauce too. Yeah, you know, if, if, if it
1:05:24
goes in tartar sauce, I wanna eat it.
1:05:27
I mean French fries and tartar sauce is my favorite combo.
1:05:30
I love a French fry. Yeah.
1:05:32
I mean, does is fish and chips a tartar sauce situation?
1:05:36
Yeah, yeah. 100% yes. Love that.
1:05:38
Yeah. Love that.
1:05:40
Yeah. You've got good sauces.
1:05:42
So West Coast beaches sauces. Yeah.
1:05:46
Not just the Heidi sauce variety, but like the actual
1:05:49
condiment that we put on food. Although I'm awesome as well,
1:05:52
the variety of our country because it's a big place.
1:05:55
What are some of the other things that you think are worth
1:05:58
celebrating about American culture?
1:06:00
Because I'm gonna say food cart pods.
1:06:02
And although those exist everywhere, but I think that
1:06:04
that is a great, phenomenal reality.
1:06:07
Yeah. I love me a food cart.
1:06:10
I love it. I mean, that's a Portland thing
1:06:11
for sure. I don't know where else they
1:06:14
have them, but maybe in Texas. Don't they have them in Seattle?
1:06:17
No, not really. What?
1:06:20
Not really. Tragic.
1:06:21
OK, well. Some food carts but even then
1:06:24
it's like. They're not great.
1:06:26
It's. Not it's not like in Portland,
1:06:28
that's for sure. All right.
1:06:29
Well, yeah. Well, the rest of the country,
1:06:31
you can get on board with that. It's life.
1:06:32
Changing it would be nice, yeah. Food might not be as expensive
1:06:36
actually. Well, it's still expensive, but
1:06:39
yeah, I'm going to tip. I'll tell you something,
1:06:45
friends, down on 4th and Washington, there's a food cart
1:06:52
pod and there is a woman who runs this food cart pod right or
1:06:57
a food cart right on the corner. Is this in Portland?
1:07:00
Yeah, it's in Portland. 4th in Washington. 4th in Washington.
1:07:02
I think I could be wrong. I'm quote you on it.
1:07:07
Let's go. It's Mediterranean food and the
1:07:12
chicken euro is Have you? Do you remember back in the day,
1:07:18
the Baja Gordita from Taco Bell? I only ever ate chicken soft
1:07:24
tacos and cinnamon twists. OK.
1:07:26
So any listener out there? Yes, better Taco Bell opinions
1:07:31
than me. The Baja Gordita anyway, it
1:07:35
doesn't really matter. But what does matter is it is
1:07:38
the best chicken euro I've never had.
1:07:42
It was so good. I don't know how much it cost.
1:07:45
It doesn't really matter. I'm going to, I'm going to be
1:07:47
down there next week and on Wednesday when I arrive, I'm
1:07:50
going there immediately and I'm going to get one.
1:07:54
And yeah, that's we'll we'll edit the notes to to give the
1:07:58
exact. Clues of this food cart.
1:08:00
Gosh. We won't with first, but with
1:08:02
intentions. If Caleb finds it, he'll let us
1:08:05
know. Yeah.
1:08:06
You could if you follow me on Instagram I will post it.
1:08:09
How about? That There we go.
1:08:10
Yeah. And if you follow us on
1:08:11
Instagram, it won't be up yet, but that's fine.
1:08:15
OK. Also, I have to throw out
1:08:17
another. Maybe this is just Northwest
1:08:18
Pacific, because I know that she's not countrywide,
1:08:23
nationwide, but I really feel like Trader Joe's is one of the
1:08:27
best things about America. Well, is she not nature, or is
1:08:32
she not? Nationwide.
1:08:35
Yeah, nationwide, that's what I was.
1:08:36
Trying to no, I think she's just Northwest specific.
1:08:40
He I mean Trader Joe's. I should probably gender that as
1:08:43
a male. Well, that would be a.
1:08:47
That would be an assumption. Yeah.
1:08:49
I think I think Trader Joe's is probably non binary.
1:08:52
Yeah, here we go. Yeses.
1:08:54
Let's go. I love Trader Joe's.
1:08:59
I really do think that's the happiest place on Earth.
1:09:00
That's one of my dreams. One day I'll work there.
1:09:02
One day. Trader Joe's is good, they have
1:09:05
those wine gummies are really good.
1:09:08
Well, and they have binders labeled cheese like come on,
1:09:12
like who doesn't want to work there?
1:09:14
They also have good skin care sometimes.
1:09:17
Oh, that's a whole nother. That's another story.
1:09:19
OK, well, any other things that you want to shout out in the
1:09:23
American list besides the the really one-of-a-kind
1:09:28
Mediterranean food truck that you may or may not know the
1:09:31
location of that reminds you of Taco Bell?
1:09:33
Listen like beyond. I said what?
1:09:37
I said, OK, don't worry. There's no shame over here, no?
1:09:43
OK, lick. Well, I tried.
1:09:46
I tried to shame you and you rejected it.
1:09:48
No, I don't think I have anything else to shout out.
1:09:52
I, you know, I, I do think that Donald Trump tried to cheat.
1:09:57
I do think FIFA is a corrupt organization and I do think I
1:10:02
wish the players of the American team the best.
1:10:06
I think you guys did a great job.
1:10:08
Unfortunately you lost really bad in that last game yesterday,
1:10:12
but bless, it's OK, You're all still probably really hot.
1:10:18
Excellent and we please everybody join in and watching
1:10:22
the fabulous Norwegian Airling Holland in his next game.
1:10:27
That's what that's. And I'm, I'm rooting for TBD.
1:10:33
I'll tell you next week. OK, great.
1:10:37
On that note, we are not towards enthusiasts y'all.
1:10:39
We will let Brandon play us out. Have a wonderful, wonderful week
1:10:43
and.