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BIG Home Ed Book Club: Introducing Our First Pick: The Four-Hour School Day · The BIG Home Ed Conversations | Home Education

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We need a new way to talk about teenage girls because the way
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people do it now isn't fair to girls or helpful to their
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parents. If you're reading this book,
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someone has probably already remarked about your daughter.
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Oh, just wait till she's a teenager.
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And parents who say this never mean it in a good way.
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Hi everyone, you're listening to the Big Home at Conversations
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podcast. I am Ashley Venario, one of your
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hosts, and I'm here today alone. I am here to introduce our new
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book club. I'm hoping to run this somewhat
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frequently and at least for September, what's left of it, we
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are going to be diving into some books.
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I am super excited to read all of these, mostly because they
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have been on my bookshelf or in my Audible app for a very long
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time and I have never made the effort to get through them.
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And they're ones that are so good.
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So I want to dive into them. I want to be able to speak about
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their content more than just what I've heard about it anyway.
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And I think some of them will be very relevant for you as well.
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So if this is your first time tuning into the Big Home Ed
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Conversations podcast, please stop listening.
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Go back and listen to one of our earlier episodes to get a feel
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for who we are and what we do. This is absolutely just a
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additional episode, something that we thought would be fun to
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do with all of you. And I wanted to take this little
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break that we have right now from our regular podcasting
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schedule to launch it. So my plan for today is to share
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with you the books that are on my list, and I will share with
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you the book that I'm going to start with, and we will just go
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from there. Add them to your list.
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Look to see if they're in your library apps or if they're at
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your library or if they're ones that you already have on your
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bookshelf but haven't read yet. This is the time.
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So I will run through them and say a little bit about them, at
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least what I know about them, why they're interesting to me,
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and then we will wrap up and TuneIn next time for what will
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hopefully be interesting one way discussion.
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You'll be listening to me chat about what I thought about the
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book, what I thought was interesting parts that were
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surprising or not. And hopefully, if you didn't
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have a chance to read the book, it'll at least be a good summary
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for you and help you decide if you want to read it, if it's
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something that you think you should.
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And I think with these books, I don't know if any of you read
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parenting books and your kids are maybe younger or still are
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now. I know I want to be.
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There are so many things about them that in the moment you're
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like, yes, yes, this is so good. I need to do this.
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And then you close the book, you finish reading it, and a week
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later, you've forgotten all but maybe like one or two takeaways.
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And I always think to myself, gosh, I need to go back and
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reread these parenting books because I know they would be
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applicable to me now. And there's probably things that
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are more relevant now than they were the last time I read them
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when I had younger children or just different types of children
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in terms of where they were developmentally.
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So I think that hopefully these little summaries will also be a
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helpful reminder of the important parts so that if
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you've forgotten, if you've read them before, you can be like,
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oh, yeah, that's right. OK, I'm going to keep that in
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mind. So anyway, that is my goal and I
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will start to take you through some of the books that I have
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here and you'll get to see that they they do range.
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A lot of them are definitely school related, but some of them
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aren't. Some of them are just about
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kids. And I will start with the first
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one, the anxious generation. This is by.
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Oh my gosh, please forgive me if I say these names wrong.
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Jonathan hate it had it. Oh, and this is not a new book.
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We've all heard of this book, right?
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So the little subtitle here under the Anxious Generation is
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how the great rewiring of childhood is causing an epidemic
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of mental illness. I have seen 1000 quotes from
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this book, whether it's on Instagram or just some moms like
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putting it on a post that they have on Facebook or whatever the
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case might be. And I think that as my girls are
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getting older and they're getting to the point where they
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might be more into using phones and thinking about social media,
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this is definitely one I want to read, especially as I know I'm
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going to have to stand strong as to why I don't think it's
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appropriate. Thankfully, I have a very
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supportive spouse who I don't think would ever say, Oh no,
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just give him a phone, it's totally fine.
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So I'm in a very good spot for that, which I'm so appreciative
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of because I think that if I'm remembering the statistic right,
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it's no phones before 14 and no social media before 16.
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And I'm sure that's going to be very hard to do as the girls
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start to get older. My oldest is 11.
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So that is the first one. The anxious generation excited
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about that one. The next one is a book called
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Untangled, and it says guiding teenage girls through the seven
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transitions into adulthood. I have already read some of the
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preface of this one, and let me just turn the pages here.
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I highlighted a couple things that I thought sounded so
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amazing. Oh, and this is by Lisa Damore,
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PhD. And so the introduction just
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says we need a new way to talk about teenage girls because the
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way people do it now isn't fair to girls or helpful to their
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parents. If you're reading this book,
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someone has probably already remarked about your daughter.
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Oh, just wait till she's a teenager.
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And parents who say this never mean it in a good way.
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A little further down, too often we talk about adolescence as if
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it's bound to be a harrowing, turbulent time for teenagers and
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their parents. We make raising a teenage girl
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sound like a roller coaster ride.
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The whole family hops on, white knuckles their way through, and
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the parents hope that after all the ups and downs, their
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daughter steps off at the end as a healthy, happy adult.
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A little further down, there is a predictable pattern to teenage
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development, a blueprint for how girls grow.
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When you understand what makes your daughter tick, she suddenly
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makes a lot more sense. OK, does this not sound like a
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book you want to read if you have daughters?
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I don't want to dread the teenage years.
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I want to embrace them. And I've heard other moms say
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that they had great teenagers with their daughters.
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So I'm I want to take the shame out of growth for our girls away
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and make it an enjoyable time. So that is one that I definitely
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want to read and most likely will be the first one that I
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read this coming week and chat about next week with you guys.
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OK, the second one, no, third one, it's called the Case for
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Make Believe, Saving Play in a Commercialized World by Susan
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Lynn. Now, this book, I think while my
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children are a little bit older, it is definitely still something
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I want to read. It is definitely still something
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that I think I will get value out of.
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And if anything, it'll just reaffirm our decisions in
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parenting and how we're raising our children.
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Because I am so thrilled that my 11 year old is still doing a lot
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of the things that she did when she was 10, when she was 9.
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I'm thrilled that she is not recording TikTok videos.
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I am thrilled that she's not asking me for really stylish
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clothing. I know it's coming, but I'm
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happy to keep her little. I'm happy to keep her just sort
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of enjoying where she's at. So anyway, this one just sounds
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fun and I'm hoping it's a good one.
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So a little bit from the back. In the case for make believe,
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Lynn turns her attention to play.
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According to Lynn, although play is crucial to human development
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and children are born with an innate capacity for make
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believe, the conversions of ambiguous technology and
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unfettered commercialism actually prevents them from
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playing. In fact, in modern day America,
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nurturing creative play is not only countercultural, it
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threatens corporate profits. In an age when toys come from TV
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shows and dress up means wearing Disney costumes.
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Doctor Lin connects the dots for us, laying out the inextricable
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links between play, creativity and health, and showing us how
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and why we must reclaim childhood for our children.
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So if you're a home Med parent or any parent that's listening
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to this conversation right now and you have little kids, this
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book will be for you. I think it sounds great.
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The next one, this kind of goes along with the Untangled book
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and is called Between and it's by Sarah Ocwell Smith.
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It's a guide for parents of 8 to 13 year olds.
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So it's kind of like, you know, they're not really a kid, but
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they're not really a teenager. And this book is really
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interesting because I believe, if I'm remembering correctly,
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that Sarah was a person who wrote a bunch of books for
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younger children, parenting books for younger children, and
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just realized that there was this gap of teenage parenting
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books, a preteen parenting books.
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But with this preteen age group, there just wasn't really a
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request for it enough to financially support a book
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publication for it. And so I think it kind of was
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overlooked and she finally was like, you know what, we're doing
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this, this is absolutely something that we are going to
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focus on. And so I think it's really cool.
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I'm pretty sure if I'm remembering this wrong and Sarah
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Aqua Smith, if you're listening to this and I have got it all
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wrong, please tell me. I'm pretty sure I listened to a
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podcast a couple years ago where I heard this and that's how I
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heard about the book. But anyway, I'm a little snippet
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from the introduction to this. The Presumption being that if a
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child is beginning to resemble an adult physically, they should
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behave like one too. But these views usually tell us
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more about the person holding them than they do about our
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children. Research has shown that adults
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who had a strict authoritarian upbringing are far more likely
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to find fault with today's tweens and teens.
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Adolescents today are considerably better in many ways
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than those from previous generations.
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Rates of smoking, underage drinking, drug use, antisocial
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behavior, and teen pregnancies have fallen, while academic
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achievement, concern for the environment, and acceptance of
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diversity have risen. So just so interesting.
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Your child still needs you to help them to feel secure and
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steer them on their journey. Grow the independence and
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confidence that they require for the future.
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Another one. This generation is growing up
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online more than ever before. We can't escape the lore of
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screens and their influence over almost every element of our
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lives. OK so anyway, those are just
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things I highlighted from the introduction, so I'd rather
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introduction to this. The 1st chapter is called Teen
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Biology. Changing brains and bodies.
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I mean so cool. I mean it gives you the science
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behind it too, which I find incredibly interesting.
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Oh I have a feeling this will be a really good one too.
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I'm excited to read it and hopefully I have the back story
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right and my apologies if I don't OK the other books that I
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have. Hold on to your kids.
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Why Parents Need to Matter more than Peers by Gordon Neufeld and
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Gaber Mattei. So I've heard a couple things
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about it and it just talks about how when we sort of let our kids
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go with their peer groups and that being like where they're
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getting their confidence and reassurance and like feeling
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part of a group from versus getting that from their home
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environment can be problematic. And so I thought this just
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sounded really good and definitely something that I want
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to listen to you, especially as we're getting way more social
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media influence and you can kind of tap into your peers all the
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time now, not just at school. That one sounds really good.
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The other one I was looking at is called Hunt, Gather Parent.
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Ancient cultures can teach us about the lost art of raising
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happy, helpful little humans, and that's by Michaeleen
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Doucleff. So that I thought sounded really
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good and definitely like something that probably has some
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good tidbits in. So that's one of the ones.
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The next one by Doctor Laura Markham is called Peaceful
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Parent, Happy Siblings, How to Stop the fighting and raise
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friends for life. So I have friends who are
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adults, obviously, who have fantastic sibling relationships
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as adults and those that don't. And when I hear the ones that
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don't talk about that, it really just breaks my heart.
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And I feel like I have such fond memories of growing up with my
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siblings and I enjoy their company so much as adults that I
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want my children to have that secure base of like their
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sisterhood, especially because it's three girls.
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I always wanted a sister. I never had a sister.
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I only had brothers. And I think having had a sister
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would have been amazing, especially as a grown up, right?
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Built in best friend. Hopefully you guys raise your
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kids together. I'm not saying brothers aren't
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great, they are, but it's different.
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It is just different. And so I would love to see that
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relationship grow as they grow and hopefully be really strong
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in adulthood. And I just don't want to ever
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have my kids just despise who their sister is as an adult and
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not have a relationship with that, which is break my heart.
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So I'm hoping that this will help to just provide some
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comfort and guidance into how things are today.
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And just, you know, little things we can do in the future
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to ensure that they're building a really good foundation.
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Because it's not just my relationship with them that's
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happening right now, right? It's their relationship with
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with each other. So I think that's important.
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We also have recently had some requests about homeschooling and
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talking about how we manage the dynamic of siblings at home.
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And obviously they're the bickering that can go on with
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that. And so we're definitely going to
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talk more about that in future episodes and just our personal
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experiences and what we found. But I thought this book would
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also play into that as well. So if that's something you're
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curious about, this might be a good one.
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The next one I have is by Jennifer Pepito Pepito, and it's
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called Habits for a Sacred Home. 9 Practices from History to
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Anchor and Restore Modern Families.
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And I just thought that was cool.
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So we're definitely going to read that one, similar to the
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other one that I was mentioning earlier called Hunt Gather
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Parents. I think that one talking about
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ancient cultures and this one as well just talking about
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practices from history could just be fun to bring in.
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The next 1 is when you've definitely heard about and maybe
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have already read called the four Hour School day, How you
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and your kids can thrive in the home school life.
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I've never read it. Maybe there's some good tips in
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there. I actually have the audiobook
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for this one and it's five hours and 49 minutes.
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I listen to audiobooks anywhere from 1 1/2 to two times speed
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depending on the narrator. So most of the time I'm
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comfortable at a two times speed.
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But sometimes that the narrator has a particular accent, Usually
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it's one that they're like putting on because I read a lot
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of fiction as well. So like they're doing a
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different accent for a different character.
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Sometimes that can make it where if I speed it up too much, I
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can't understand it very well. And so I think for this one,
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since these are nonfiction books and they're just going to be
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read, I think that I could probably manage 2 times speed.
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So this is a three hour lesson for me.
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So that's that's going to be great.
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Hopefully that'll be something I can get through in just an
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afternoon of doing laundry and housework and tidying and all
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that. So that should be a good one.
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The next one is another one you've definitely heard of.
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And I have dipped in and out of this but never completed it.
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And this one's called Homeschool Bravely.
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How to squashed out. Trust God and teach your child
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with confidence. This is written and narrated by
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Jamie Erickson and it is one of the ones that you constantly see
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in home education homeschooling accounts on Instagram.
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And it's a book that is recommended for anyone jumping
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into the world of of homeschooling.
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And I've never really read it. I've just had excerpts shared
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with me, so I'm curious about this one.
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I think it talks a lot about not having fear around homeschooling
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and understanding you are capable of doing this, you can
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do it. So I think it's very hopefully
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confidence building and just, yeah, just being something that
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is sort of a feel good read and hopefully giving you some good
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tips. The next one I have read, but it
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was a while ago and I'm very excited to reread it.
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It's called the Read Aloud Family.
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Making meaningful and lasting connections with your kids.
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The thing I love about this is it is a very practical book.
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So you get tons of examples and I love that it's not just like
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theoretical and talking about things.
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Pie in the sky and then you have to go do the work.
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This book has what you need. So thank you, Sarah McKenzie,
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for putting this together. You probably know her name in
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the home Ed world as well if you've been around for a little
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bit. I believe her website is the
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Read Aloud revival and she does have a podcast.
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She has book lists and she has a family book club and this looks
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fantastic. I will definitely be spending
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more time on this page, so go to herreadaloudrevival.com website
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and take a look because I think you'll find some interesting
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things there. But I will absolutely be reading
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her book. This is 1 I think I would
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recommend the physical copy for. I do have the audio through one
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of my audiobook subscriptions. I'm going to try it, but if it
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gets to the point where the author is like reading through a
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list of books with the like title, author, name, subject
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that is going to be awful. And I have tried to listen to a
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cookbook on an audio miserable. They just don't translate so I
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think that was one. Try getting it from your library
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or see if you can get the e-book through like Kindle unlimited or
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something like that because I don't think it would be the best
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audio book. But I do have an audio book and
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I will let you know. The next one I have is Let them
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be kids Adventure, boredom, innocence and other gifts
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Children need by Jessica Smart that is smart with two T's.
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I love her. I think her books are amazing.
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She did the memory making Mom, which is the book that I talked
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about a couple episodes ago with Kelly about how you can do these
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simple things throughout your weekly routine that really build
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meaningful experiences in your kids lives, like pancake
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sundaes, pizza Tuesdays. I guess it would be Taco
19:08
Tuesdays, wouldn't it? But anyway, pizza the movie
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night, like things like that, right?
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So I love her. I think her her books are great.
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Also very practical. The memory making mom is very
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practical and I'm assuming this one will be somewhat less
19:21
practical, but anyway, we'll find out.
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So that one looks really good. The next one I have is raising
19:28
critical thinkers. Now this is Julie Bogart.
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I love her. I could go down a rabbit hole
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talking about how much I love her.
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We do her brave learner series for a lot of our language arts.
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I love her book units it just I can't I can't recommend it
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enough. Her jot it down writing process.
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I highly recommend it. It's so fun.
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So anyway, Raising Critical Thinkers is her newest one, A
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Parent's Guide to Growing Wise Kids in the Digital Age.
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And I think this one is so applicable right now because we
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can't prepare them for every scenario.
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We just can't. Like, we can tell them if you
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see inappropriate images on a phone, put it down and come to
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me immediately, right? If they're with their friends.
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You know, at a group and you, you just can't control what
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other kids are going to show your kids and you, but you can
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prepare them to think about things in the way that they can
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approach a situation so that they're prepared and can
20:26
understand the best course of action.
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And so I think this is going to be a really good one.
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I think it's going to be important and I'm hoping it
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really helps with some of the challenges that we might face as
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parents with teen or preteens. So I'm sure you're seeing
20:44
patterns of the books that I have.
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I hope one or two sounded interesting to you.
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For this week. I want to pick a book that I
20:52
think will apply to everyone listening to this podcast.
20:55
So instead of going with Untangled like I had originally
20:57
planned, I am going to go with the four hour school day.
21:00
I think this is one that most people can relate to.
21:03
Many of you have probably already read it and if you
21:05
haven't, it's a great reason to. So it is again called The Four
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Hour School Day, how you and your kids can Thrive in the Home
21:13
school Life, and it's written by Dorinda Wilson.
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So absolutely take a look at that and if it's of interest,
21:23
give it a read and we will be back next week to talk about it.
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Thanks for tuning in to this introduction to our book club
21:33
and I look forward to speaking with you soon.
21:38
You've been listening to the Big Home Ed Conversations podcast.
21:42
Thanks for tuning in. Don't forget to subscribe, leave
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a review and share with a friend.
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Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at Big Home Ed Podcast
21:51
for updates. We'll be back again next week
21:54
with our review of the four hour school day, How you and your
21:58
kids can thrive in the home school life.
22:01
As our first book club episode. I hope you join us.