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Stop Calling It A Midlife Crisis (Do This Instead) · Create The Best Me

• 0:00
  Have you ever signed up for something and then silently begged, please don't call my name first?
• 0:07
  James Robbins did — at a packed storytelling competition.
• 0:12
  They called his name first— and what happened next is exactly why today's conversation might be the nudge you've been waiting for.
• 0:20
  If midlife has you thinking something's off and I'm out of alignment, you are in the right place.
• 0:28
  My guest Leadership strategist and bestselling author, James Robbins.
• 0:32
  Yes— The Nine Minutes on Monday guy and the author of the Call to Climb.
• 0:39
  Is here to talk about answering what that inner summons when life feels out of tune.
• 0:45
  Stick with us because you'll hear the two words James uses to steady himself before big moments.
• 0:53
  How to shift from a turbulent state to a beautiful state when a deadline is screaming— and why the moment you feel like quitting is actually proof you've entered the growth zone, and what to do right there.
• 1:10
  We'll also unpack James' Spiritual Compass— a simple way to make decisions that actually matches your value.
• 1:18
  Okay... let's climb.
• 1:21
  James Robbins, welcome to Create the Best Me.
• 1:25
  I am excited and this is an honor to have you on the show.
• 1:29
  Carmen, thanks for having me on your podcast.
• 1:31
  Great to be here.
• 1:33
  James, before we get into today's conversation — because there might be some people out there that have not become a big, loyal fan like I have through my experience in reading your book, could you please tell the listeners and viewers a little bit about who you are and what you do?
• 1:51
  Well, I grew up on a small cattle ranch in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains.
• 1:55
  I was this red-headed, freckle-face, shy kid — the only redhead in my town.
• 2:00
  It just, you know, made me the minority.
• 2:02
  And so I grew up with all these insecurities, but later go on to have a career that had me on stage and speaking a lot.
• 2:09
  I have a leadership development company and I, I like to think of deeper things and I like to climb mountains.
• 2:15
  So, you know, it's how all of our story ends up, you know, somehow funneling into things like mine did for this book.
• 2:23
  And so the reason I invited you onto the show is because I read your amazing book, The Call to Climb and oh my gosh, everyone needs to read this book.
• 2:36
  I don't care if you're a man, woman, child, you need to read this book.
• 2:40
  This is the book that you need to have on your Christmas list for yourself and for those special people in your life.
• 2:49
  I love this book.
• 2:50
  I invited you on the show because there are so much good stuff in this book.
• 2:56
  Well, I look forward to talking about it for sure.
• 2:58
  I'm so happy that you liked it.
• 2:59
  I'm really, really happy.
• 3:01
  I am like over the top, excited.
• 3:03
  I love Riley, I love Santiago.
• 3:08
  Everybody, everyone, just everyone.
• 3:10
  I fell in love with all the characters in the book.
• 3:12
  And so the reason why I invited you onto the show is because I feel like when we hit midlife, we sort of feel like something's off.
• 3:24
  Life is off, whether it's personal, whether it's professional, whether it's with our own self; life is off and we feel like we're out of alignment.
• 3:33
  And I felt like reading your book; it helps guide people in getting realigned with who you are or what your purpose is all about.
• 3:45
  Yeah, the book really came out of my own time in, I would go back to midlife where I felt that feeling of out of alignment.
• 3:52
  I think it is so common actually.
• 3:54
  You know, when we think of sort of like the program self has been running, uh, running its course and maybe starting to get tired.
• 4:02
  And then that deeper part of us, you know, which I use the word soul for, or your psyche or your inner life.
• 4:08
  That begins to start to knock on the door to go, Hey, wait a minute.
• 4:12
  Like this is not the path we're supposed to be on.
• 4:15
  There's something bigger for you.
• 4:17
  And that happened to me, I was working in a not-for-profit and I had a great job, and everyone would tell me that as well.
• 4:23
  Like, you're so lucky to have this job.
• 4:26
  But as time went on, I, I, I began to get more and more unhappy.
• 4:30
  And I, I kept thinking like, what's wrong with me?
• 4:32
  Like, I should be happy.
• 4:33
  So just keep going.
• 4:34
  Well, eventually, you know, you can only do that for so long before things start to mess up in your life, whether it's you getting frustrated and angry or health problems.
• 4:44
  And all of that happened to me and that really to me was the, the inner life trying to get my attention to say, hey, uh, regardless of what you think right now, there's something bigger for you.
• 4:56
  And it's, it's hard to stop and listen to that voice.
• 4:59
  A, because we're busy, B because often that voice is gonna tell us something that's actually quite frightening.
• 5:06
  Yeah.
• 5:07
  And, and you talked about that in your book.
• 5:09
  You talked about where it's hard to listen to that voice because of this belief system that we have.
• 5:15
  This fear, these, I cannot do this because this or that.
• 5:21
  In your book you talked about how it's deeper than, it's deeper than us.
• 5:28
  It may have been something that we inherited from our grow from growing up.
• 5:34
  It's that part of us that knows what's best for us.
• 5:37
  And, you know, all the time when we're struggling with like, what should I be doing and what should I be doing with my life?
• 5:42
  Well, there's a part of you that knows the answer to that.
• 5:44
  The problem is we're just not tuning in.
• 5:46
  So we're always looking outside for all the answers and the signs, and let's read the tea leaves.
• 5:51
  But the, the answers are within you.
• 5:53
  Whether that's through the breadcrumbs throughout your life that have, pointed towards something, uh, or just even the current restlessness that you might feel right as a signal to say, Hey, like, let's, let's pause for a minute and, and take a look at this.
• 6:08
  Yeah, and, and I think another thing is that a lot of times we go to others and we say, well, what do you think I should do?
• 6:16
  When, like you said the answer, we already have the answer.
• 6:21
  I think one of the toughest questions for people, you know, Carmen, is, is what do you want?
• 6:26
  And when you ask people that, they'll think, well, what do you mean, what do I want?
• 6:29
  Like, what do you want?
• 6:30
  Like, what do you want in life?
• 6:32
  And so few people actually have a clear answer.
• 6:35
  They might say like, I just don't wanna work anymore.
• 6:37
  But no, like, what do you, what do you want?
• 6:39
  And I find, like even for myself, the times when I couldn't answer that is either because I actually didn't know myself well enough.
• 6:45
  Like I either, I was in a survival state and so I, I couldn't even think on that level, or I just didn't know myself well enough because I had been wearing all these masks that I'd been taught to wear or, you know, put on myself to navigate this thing we call life.
• 7:01
  Uh, I think sometimes we also have a problem knowing what we want is because there's a part of us that senses, if if I really tuned in, it's gonna tell me something either scary or something that I feel like I'm not worthy of or that I can't do.
• 7:18
  So let's just not go there.
• 7:22
  But it, it's one of the, it's one of the best things we can do is to, especially around midlife, right, is when we start taking that time to, to look back.
• 7:31
  And Dr. James Hollis calls this the collision of selves.
• 7:34
  So we've got that self that, that comes out of college or, and it's got that direction and it, and it runs the program.
• 7:40
  Whether that's getting married, having children, having the career.
• 7:44
  But then there's this other self that comes in, and that's that real part of us that knows what we should be doing.
• 7:50
  And then there's this collision.
• 7:51
  And I think, you know, we use the, the word midlife crisis, but I, I think really that's what it is.
• 7:57
  It's the collision.
• 7:58
  It's like an accident on the highway.
• 8:00
  It's a collision of our, of ourselves.
• 8:02
  Yeah.
• 8:03
  And in your book, I really loved Riley; Riley was the, the main character who had that collision.
• 8:11
  He woke up and said, you know, decided that he didn't want to do this job anymore and was very vocal and ended up stranded.
• 8:23
  And had to climb, had to climb.
• 8:28
  And in this climb it was almost like he rediscovered who he was and faced all his fears.
• 8:38
  Yeah, the, the title of the book is really accurate about this idea of The Call to Climb.
• 8:43
  And, you know, for those listening, basically what happens is the main character ends up stranded in this remote Bolivian village.
• 8:51
  And they stumble in there only to realize that they've been expecting them.
• 8:58
  And it's there that they learn that there's a special mountain that calls people to climb when they need to have a conversation with their soul, but they've been avoiding the appointment.
• 9:07
  In fact, that idea came from, you know, my own dark night of the soul when I stumbled upon the work of Dr. James Hollis, and especially his book, which was Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life.
• 9:20
  And he talked about that, about the soul desires to have a conversation with us, but we just push it away.
• 9:26
  And through distraction or busyness or fear, and we just stay with the program, ' cause that's easier.
• 9:31
  So let's say you went to law school, but now you don't want to be a lawyer anymore.
• 9:34
  But it's like, but I have to be, or what would my parents think?
• 9:37
  Or, you know, we can be 40 years old still wondering what would my parents think if I switched careers or quit my job and started my own business.
• 9:45
  So basically what happens is that stuck with me, that idea of, of the invitation or the summons from the soul and how we ignore the appointment.
• 9:54
  ' Cause I certainly did, I ignored it.
• 9:57
  And I thought this would be neat in a setting where the, the invitation was to go climb.
• 10:03
  And during the climb, in a sense, you, you can't escape and you have to listen to what the soul is telling you.
• 10:09
  And so the, the whole journey, the whole climb is really about reclaiming your life.
• 10:14
  And getting back so that you can live intentionally, how you are designed to live, right.
• 10:20
  How you're destined to live.
• 10:23
  Which is a scary thing actually.
• 10:25
  It is.
• 10:25
  But what I loved is that there was another character in the book who is the love of my life hero type of gentleman, Santiago.
• 10:34
  Where, Riley has these challenges that he is fighting with, and so he will discuss these challenges with Santiago.
• 10:47
  And Santiago, with such a sweet, kindred heart says the answers are right there.
• 10:54
  Or it's easy.
• 10:57
  And it's because Riley's own and just like us, because I could have been Riley.
• 11:03
  My own limiting beliefs are keeping me from seeing where I need to be.
• 11:09
  Or the life that I'm supposed to have.
• 11:13
  Yeah, there's many times in the in the climb where, you know, Santiago, he is the patience kind of all knowing guide.
• 11:22
  But, at the same time, he's not like, well, you need to do this and this and this, and here's this prescriptive formula.
• 11:27
  Because you know, we have enough people telling us what to do and, and how to live our lives.
• 11:31
  And sometimes Riley's even frustrated with Santiago, like, who will tell me?
• 11:35
  Just tell me the answer.
• 11:36
  And some, you know, sometimes he's like, ah, you'll find it out, or you'll figure it out, or it is gonna come to you.
• 11:42
  So, yeah, Santiago embodies that, uh, sort of wise sage that is wise enough to know that the answers are in inside of us, and sometimes we just have to do the digging ourselves.
• 11:56
  Yeah.
• 11:57
  You talked about, or in the book, Santiago said that you need to live and examined a life.
• 12:03
  Could you elaborate a little bit about that?
• 12:05
  Yeah, because so much of our life is just automatic.
• 12:09
  We are living the programs from our little life; from our middle life, you know, our middle school.
• 12:15
  We're just living these programs, whether that was a parent that imprinted on us early on.
• 12:21
  And we don't even realize these things because it's just normal to us, this is just life.
• 12:25
  But if we want to; if we really want to step into our full potential, then we have to live our life, not our parents' life, not the life of the herd or what the tribe wants of us.
• 12:38
  But really to, to tune in.
• 12:40
  So, in order to do that, we are going to have to start taking steps that, in a sense go against the grain, and that's gonna bring all sorts of anxiety and different things.
• 12:52
  But it's only then that we can go, okay, what's causing this?
• 12:55
  You know, as you know, from your work with people as well, that until we start to ask
• 13:00
  questions like: Why did I just do that?
• 13:02
  questions like: Or Why am I thinking this?
• 13:03
  questions like: And realizing that we actually can control a lot of our focus.
• 13:07
  questions like: We can control a lot of what we are going to spend our time with.
• 13:11
  questions like: And understand that we're, we're working against these habits of the brain.
• 13:15
  questions like: Like when you think of, I forget the number about of how many millions of bits of data that the brain can take in, in a single second.
• 13:23
  questions like: But how many bits of info our, our conscious mind can take in in a second.
• 13:28
  questions like: It's like 80.
• 13:29
  questions like: And so when you think about it, like your brain is the ultimate algorithm that just shows you, what it's been programmed to show you.
• 13:38
  questions like: So your reality is completely colored by the program.
• 13:44
  questions like: And the program is the thing that's keeping you from really stepping into that elevated version of you.
• 13:50
  questions like: But as you begin to step into that elevated version of you, you're gonna feel all this resistance and anxiety and different things.
• 13:56
  questions like: Well, that's when most people then back off and just go back to the pattern.
• 14:01
  questions like: But an examined life is when you can start, going, what's this serving?
• 14:06
  questions like: Like, this anxiety in me right now.
• 14:08
  questions like: This is serving a purpose, but what's, what's this in service to?
• 14:12
  questions like: And that's where we start to realize what some of the programs are, some of the beliefs are, some of the identities that are holding us back.
• 14:20
  questions like: That just go beneath the surface that we don't even know are there.
• 14:24
  questions like: Yeah, and I think that a lot of times we have a hard time working with that discomfort.
• 14:31
  questions like: You know, that discomfort doesn't feel right.
• 14:33
  questions like: So if it doesn't feel right, I shouldn't be doing it.
• 14:38
  questions like: Exactly.
• 14:39
  questions like: And we have an aversion to not feeling good.
• 14:42
  questions like: So like, how can I get out of this feeling as quick as I can?
• 14:44
  questions like: And so, you know, we have all these coping mechanisms to do that.
• 14:47
  questions like: But sometimes, actually no, a lot of times it's good to just, not fear those, those feelings and those emotions and let them sit there and then understand that there's, there's a message there.
• 15:01
  questions like: We're gonna learn something so that we can be more intentional.
• 15:03
  questions like: And as Santiago said in the book to Riley, when we don't see these programs, like, when we don't even know they're there, like what we don't see actually masters us.
• 15:14
  questions like: That becomes the boss.
• 15:15
  questions like: That's who's running your life.
• 15:17
  questions like: But when you see them now, you can start to make better choices, even though the feeling is, is there, maybe you're activated.
• 15:27
  questions like: You know, let's say you've decided that you want to leave your job and you wanna start your own business.
• 15:33
  questions like: And of course that's gonna bring up all these, these feelings of anxiety, which then some people would interpret like, oh, maybe it's not time for me.
• 15:41
  questions like: But no it's just your fear, and anxiety.
• 15:44
  questions like: So let's, let's sit in with that for a minute and find out what's going on.
• 15:49
  questions like: That's how we, we get intentional.
• 15:51
  questions like: Because as we start to see the, some of the limiting beliefs more clearly and, and do so without judgment.
• 15:58
  questions like: When we can look at something and go, oh, I'm, I'm actually afraid of what my parents are gonna save this decision, even though I'm 45 years old.
• 16:07
  questions like: Without judging that, just go, okay, well that, that's what it is.
• 16:10
  questions like: So now you know, what am I gonna do with that?
• 16:13
  questions like: Because now I can make a choice.
• 16:15
  questions like: I don't have to live the program.
• 16:17
  questions like: But you gotta see it first.
• 16:20
  questions like: In your book, you also talked about spiritual vision and answers.
• 16:25
  questions like: Yes.
• 16:26
  questions like: I love that.
• 16:27
  questions like: Could you please share so that people know exactly what this means and how you can personally apply it to your life?
• 16:36
  questions like: So I talk in the book about this idea of purpose, because that's one of the questions Riley's is asking, what am I supposed to do with my life?
• 16:43
  questions like: And Santiago helps Riley understand that your purpose isn't some vocation.
• 16:48
  questions like: It's not some, you know, uh, building schools in a developing country, though that might be part of it.
• 16:53
  questions like: Your purpose really is to bring that most authentic, courageous version of you to the world.
• 16:59
  questions like: That's your, that's your song that only you can sing.
• 17:02
  questions like: And if you don't sing it, the world doesn't get to hear it, and you don't get to play it.
• 17:06
  questions like: So when we start to think, think of it more broadly like that and from a purpose, well, we still need these guiding like a compass.
• 17:15
  questions like: And so that's your spiritual vision where you begin to think of the major parts of your life and what is it that are your North stars.
• 17:23
  questions like: Like, in other words, let's take parenting.
• 17:25
  questions like: So my, my kids are adults now.
• 17:27
  questions like: So part of my spiritual compass is, well, what do I believe about parenting adult children?
• 17:33
  questions like: Not what, what do my parents believe?
• 17:35
  questions like: Or what does my minister believe or someone on TV?
• 17:39
  questions like: What do I believe about it?
• 17:40
  questions like: Why is this important to me?
• 17:42
  questions like: What does this ultimately look like?
• 17:44
  questions like: What do I want this to look like?
• 17:46
  questions like: And then, okay, what's gonna be required of me?
• 17:49
  questions like: Like, what's my commitment?
• 17:52
  questions like: And out of that compass, we make these commitments.
• 17:55
  questions like: And so here's my commitment in this area.
• 17:57
  questions like: And so I have seven commitments in my life that cover these different areas.
• 18:02
  questions like: But here's the thing, as you create your spiritual compass and you get clear about, this is what I believe.
• 18:10
  questions like: As you begin to do the work, you will discover that, actually, your subconscious believes something different and it gives you a chance to then go, wait a minute, then, I want to correct this.
• 18:23
  questions like: So I'll give you an example.
• 18:24
  questions like: This is a recent one in my life where something was happening with one of my children.
• 18:28
  questions like: Again, all my kids are in in college.
• 18:30
  questions like: They're very expensive.
• 18:32
  questions like: And we were talking about like, providing for kids.
• 18:37
  questions like: And you know, when my parents, they gave me a sizable down payment when I was young so that I could buy my first house.
• 18:44
  questions like: Well, I've got three kids and the down payment for three houses these days is a lot bigger.
• 18:49
  questions like: And whereas like, I can't do that.
• 18:51
  questions like: And so I began to really wrestle feeling like, like I'm a bad father.
• 18:57
  questions like: And I sat with it for a bit and I was like, wait a minute, what's going on for you?
• 19:01
  questions like: Why are you feeling like this sense of shame?
• 19:04
  questions like: And I realized that somewhere in there, there was this belief that if I can't provide these material things I am a failure as a father.
• 19:14
  questions like: Well, my spiritual compass says something different.
• 19:17
  questions like: So it helps you realize like, okay, wait a minute, this is what I say I believe, yet there's this belief here so let's go with one of them; which one do we want to go with?
• 19:26
  questions like: Like, you're a failed father or do you wanna go with, with this one?
• 19:29
  questions like: Which was more like, what's most important to me is to be there for them as a support, as a coach, as a mentor, to follow their story.
• 19:38
  questions like: Okay, I've gotta let this belief go.
• 19:40
  questions like: So when we have a clear spiritual compass, it's also gonna help us, not only navigate that kind of stuff, but it's gonna help us grow and even make decisions.
• 19:50
  questions like: So let's say you're faced with, oh, should I, should I take this new job or not?
• 19:56
  questions like: Well, what aligns best with your spiritual compass and your commitments?
• 20:01
  questions like: At the end of the day once you get clear on that, then it's about keeping your commitments.
• 20:06
  questions like: And when you don't keep them, then you can go, hey, what's, what's going on for me?
• 20:10
  questions like: Yeah.
• 20:10
  questions like: And I know you also talked about values is defining what are my values and how to apply your values.
• 20:19
  questions like: And I think that ties in really good into, like, for example, like you said, if you're looking at changing jobs or accepting a certain job.
• 20:27
  questions like: How does that job align with your values?
• 20:30
  questions like: Exactly.
• 20:31
  questions like: And part of this goes back to really knowing yourself.
• 20:34
  questions like: One of the challenges is we can, let's say we, we think, well, I'm not sure what my values are.
• 20:39
  questions like: So we go online, we print out a big list of values.
• 20:42
  questions like: There's like 52.
• 20:43
  questions like: You know, we read through them.
• 20:45
  questions like: If you're like me, you're like, oh, I like that one, and I like that one.
• 20:47
  questions like: It's like going to Cold Stone Creamery and trying to decide on, on one flavor of ice cream, right?
• 20:53
  questions like: It's like, well, like I like all of these.
• 20:55
  questions like: And so that's one of the challenges of looking at value lists.
• 20:58
  questions like: But you can get a deeper dive on your values by looking at things like, what are things that really I hate and that bother me, and that really, irk me, in the world or wherever.
• 21:10
  questions like: Because often those things are where your value is getting violated.
• 21:15
  questions like: And the strongest ones, like, someone, might be, really angry about climate change and another person isn't angry about climate change.
• 21:22
  questions like: It's a reflection of our values and what they are.
• 21:26
  questions like: And then obviously, as we start to shrink down the list of what we really value and almost like pitting them against each other at times.
• 21:34
  questions like: If you can have a handful of things that you're really clear, like this is me, this is what's important to me, then that's gonna help you as you fill out that spiritual compass.
• 21:43
  questions like: Like, like I said, with, you know, some of my areas on my spiritual compass, of course, parenting, my role as a partner, my role as a friend.
• 21:50
  questions like: My soul like being like honoring the path of my soul and not violating that.
• 21:57
  questions like: God is, is one of those commitments and so is my health.
• 22:02
  questions like: So in a sense right there those seven points reflect my values, right.
• 22:07
  questions like: These are things I value.
• 22:09
  questions like: But now within each of them, what does that look like?
• 22:12
  questions like: And that's, that's what the spiritual compass is all about.
• 22:17
  questions like: And I know you also talked about that when you're going through and defining what your values are, it's also understanding, those are my values.
• 22:26
  questions like: I set those values.
• 22:28
  questions like: Those values were not set on me by someone else.
• 22:32
  questions like: Yeah, because that is so common.
• 22:34
  questions like: I mean, take a look at this country, how many people vote a certain way just because that's what their parents voted and that's the house they were raised in.
• 22:43
  questions like: I remember doing a test one time.
• 22:45
  questions like: Because I grew up in Canada, so it's a different party system.
• 22:49
  questions like: And when I was old enough to vote, like they have multiple parties you can vote for not just two, it's like five, six.
• 22:56
  questions like: And so you could do a test like which party do you affiliate with.
• 23:00
  questions like: And I'm like, well, let me take the test.
• 23:03
  questions like: And I just answered the questions and then it said I was this.
• 23:05
  questions like: I'm like, no, I'm not like I'm this because that's what I've grown up in as my parents.
• 23:09
  questions like: So that would be an example of that, being willing to not hold things so tightly.
• 23:14
  questions like: I remember it was, Mark Manson wrote about this in his book where he said, do you believe everything you did five years ago?
• 23:23
  questions like: And of course the answer is no.
• 23:24
  questions like: And he goes, yeah, but five years ago, you really believe those things.
• 23:28
  questions like: So perhaps the things you believe right now, you won't believe in five years.
• 23:32
  questions like: So hold things maybe just a little bit less tightly.
• 23:36
  questions like: So it comes back to inspecting, you know, Why do I believe this?
• 23:42
  questions like: So that's one of the questions when we're creating a spiritual compass, like my parenting or my health, like what do I believe about it?
• 23:48
  questions like: And, and why do I believe that?
• 23:49
  questions like: Why is this important to me?
• 23:51
  questions like: And again, not what my parents think or what some other person thinks or my partner thinks.
• 23:57
  questions like: What do I think?
• 23:59
  questions like: Because, and then sometimes we don't even know, like, actually I don't even know what I think.
• 24:04
  questions like: Well, great, then this gives me a chance to do some research and come to a decision of what sits right with me in this area.
• 24:12
  questions like: I'm gonna quote something from page 100 from your book, and it says,"But sometimes the first step toward greater isn't planning or strategizing.
• 24:22
  questions like: Sometimes it's pausing to reconnect with the truth. The truth about yourself." And I think that ties in really well with defining your values.
• 24:34
  questions like: Yes, because we live in this world.
• 24:37
  questions like: Again, like I said, we're so focused on the external.
• 24:39
  questions like: And so we have all these attachments and that that's what creates so much suffering for us.
• 24:44
  questions like: And so, if we, and I've been to many of them, right.
• 24:47
  questions like: You go to some seminar and it's like, uh, let's, let's get excited about our life and where are we heading?
• 24:53
  questions like: And everything is out, out, out there, right out there, out there, out there.
• 24:57
  questions like: And then you marshal all this energy and you make this commitment that this time will be different of why you're gonna reach these goals and make a million dollars, whatever it might be.
• 25:07
  questions like: But what if the first step was actually going inside and reclaiming a lot of the power that you've given out.
• 25:17
  questions like: Like reclaiming the power that, that in a sense you've been spending on other things that you don't need to spend on.
• 25:23
  questions like: And, and bring all that back.
• 25:25
  questions like: And it's, it's there when we get back in touch with the body, we get back within ourselves.
• 25:32
  questions like: That's where we start to get more clarity on the answers about what it is we want, why we're here.
• 25:39
  questions like: Because if we're always just focused on the next conquest and what we're building and creating and making, then we're in danger of missing; missing the real point of our life.
• 25:50
  questions like: And I think another thing that you talked about in your book, and I loved it and I think it ties in with defining your values, is how do you speak to yourself?
• 26:02
  questions like: Yeah, you've gotta be your best cheerleader in the world for sure.
• 26:08
  questions like: So this is something that comes up in the book, but this is idea of, of how we talk to ourself.
• 26:14
  questions like: And one thing that really impacted me, this goes back a number of years, I think I learned this from Marisa Peer.
• 26:20
  questions like: But this idea of taking moments to just begin to praise yourself, but praise yourself of stuff that you would feel good praising yourself about.
• 26:31
  questions like: And I remember setting an alarm on my phone, go off three times a day, and when it would go off, I'd stop, and I would just think like anything good about me.
• 26:40
  questions like: It could be like, you know what, you work hard or you were kind to that person this morning.
• 26:45
  questions like: And I found as I did that more, I just started to get happier.
• 26:48
  questions like: Like I started to feel happier and feel stronger.
• 26:52
  questions like: And so now I, I don't, I really don't think negatively, it's almost like a distant memory of thinking like that.
• 26:59
  questions like: But I remember times in the past like, oh, what's wrong with you?
• 27:02
  questions like: That was stupid.
• 27:02
  questions like: I can't believe you did that.
• 27:04
  questions like: Uh, you made that mistake.
• 27:06
  questions like: And I still make lots of mistakes for sure, but I definitely talk to myself differently.
• 27:12
  questions like: Because if you're not gonna be in your corner, who's gonna be?
• 27:16
  questions like: I mean, hopefully you have people in your corner.
• 27:18
  questions like: But even the best people in your corner are not gonna be perfect.
• 27:22
  questions like: And so, man, be your own best cheerleader.
• 27:27
  questions like: And there's some research that's come out as well that, uh, sometimes in a third person's voice is actually a great way to support yourself.
• 27:33
  questions like: Instead of I, it's like, Hey, you've got this.
• 27:35
  questions like: Hey, you're strong.
• 27:36
  questions like: Hey, you can do this.
• 27:37
  questions like: Hey, that was amazing what you did there.
• 27:40
  questions like: The more you talk to yourself like that, it just, it builds that, that strength within you that you're gonna need when you start to climb.
• 27:49
  questions like: Do you think that, changing the way you speak to yourself or using kinder words to yourself daily; of course it multiplies and then you are doing it tons of times, yearly; will help you get clarity and become more aligned?
• 28:06
  questions like: Yeah, a hundred percent.
• 28:07
  questions like: Because when you think about it, like when you're being negative about your life and saying negative things to yourself; like first of all, there's part of your self that's absorbing that.
• 28:18
  questions like: And we know that words have power.
• 28:20
  questions like: There's an energy to that.
• 28:22
  questions like: And so it's just like sending this negative charge into your life.
• 28:26
  questions like: And if you think about it that it's like a denser power.
• 28:31
  questions like: It's like if, if let's say you're a battery, like just drained it.
• 28:34
  questions like: Well, the more you keep draining it, the less energy there is to actually step into that creative state.
• 28:41
  questions like: Like, have you ever noticed that when you're super stressed and you're living in that, in that mode where you're, you're totally dysregulated, you're just in survival state, that's not where your best ideas come from.
• 28:54
  questions like: That's not where you're creative.
• 28:55
  questions like: That's not where you're gonna find the way out.
• 28:59
  questions like: And that's the challenge we get in these dark spaces and then that's where we, we beat ourselves up the most.
• 29:05
  questions like: But it's in those moments that we need all our creativity, we need all hands on deck.
• 29:11
  questions like: And so the last thing we need is finger pointing and blaming, and it's just gotta be all hands on deck.
• 29:16
  questions like: We're awesome.
• 29:18
  questions like: How are we getting out of here?
• 29:20
  questions like: Cause we will, 'cause we've gotten out of lots of places before.
• 29:25
  questions like: So let's, let's work the problem.
• 29:28
  questions like: And that's so important.
• 29:31
  questions like: Here's another quote from your book that I loved, and it kind of ties in with this as well.
• 29:36
  questions like: It says, turbulent state.
• 29:37
  questions like: You see the world through a lens of limitations and there, it's hard to be creative.
• 29:45
  questions like: I mean, you, you just talked about that, where it's just, nothing's gonna come out.
• 29:49
  questions like: You're not gonna be able to create anything.
• 29:51
  questions like: And anything you do create, it's not gonna be something that you're gonna be proud of.
• 29:55
  questions like: Exactly.
• 29:56
  questions like: It's like the, it's like the state that caused the problem is not gonna be the state that solves the problem.
• 30:02
  questions like: And, I love the concept of beautiful state, turbulent state.
• 30:07
  questions like: When you have the mindset of there's only two states.
• 30:09
  questions like: You're in this state or that state.
• 30:11
  questions like: Beautiful state, turbulent state.
• 30:12
  questions like: And the turbulent state; that's where we're like, fear, anxiety, frustration, anger.
• 30:17
  questions like: And the beautiful state, love, kindness, joy, peace, you know, presence; but it's there, right, that's when our ideas can happen.
• 30:29
  questions like: 'Cause we're not in this survival mode.
• 30:31
  questions like: And this happened to me not long ago.
• 30:34
  questions like: We were trying to solve a big problem in our business and it was stressful and there was a lot of things riding on some decisions.
• 30:43
  questions like: And I went through a couple of weeks of just, I was frustrated a lot.
• 30:46
  questions like: And then as the deadline was looming, I kept thinking like, I gotta come up with something, gotta come up with something.
• 30:51
  questions like: And I was reminded, oh wait a minute, I'm in the wrong state.
• 30:55
  questions like: I was like, I just gotta calm down and you know, put more intention on shifting back into that beautiful state.
• 31:02
  questions like: And then, you know what, I honestly, a few hours later I had this idea and I'm like, wait a minute.
• 31:07
  questions like: And I put something together, launched it out to these clients, and they were all like, oh, we love this.
• 31:11
  questions like: We love this.
• 31:12
  questions like: You know, the, the idea was always there, but it was trapped and it was trapped by my lower states.
• 31:19
  questions like: And so when we can just trust, ' cause we think those lower states are like, we feel like that's where we're controlling stuff.
• 31:27
  questions like: But we're not really, we're just keeping the best of us down.
• 31:32
  questions like: And it takes a lot of faith to just go, you know, I'm gonna trust this moment.
• 31:35
  questions like: I'm gonna trust myself.
• 31:36
  questions like: I'm gonna trust the universe.
• 31:37
  questions like: I'm gonna trust God, whatever you put trust in.
• 31:40
  questions like: But definitely put trust in yourself.
• 31:42
  questions like: I'm gonna be at peace.
• 31:44
  questions like: I'm gonna be kind.
• 31:45
  questions like: I'm gonna be all these things.
• 31:47
  questions like: I'm not gonna be stressed.
• 31:49
  questions like: That takes faith to just even step into that.
• 31:52
  questions like: But yet that is the place, where life begins to open up for you and things begin to come your way.
• 32:00
  questions like: So tell me, how does, how, what kind of exercise did you do to get yourself out of this turbulent state, into this beautiful state so that your body, your mind, everything can do what it was meant to do and be creative?
• 32:17
  questions like: I do a collection of things, but nature is usually always on the list.
• 32:22
  questions like: I get out into nature, whether that's in the mountains or in a park or something, and I try to get away from work.
• 32:27
  questions like: So I try never to take work into nature with me because other than that, it's like I'm not even seeing nature.
• 32:33
  questions like: I'm just like there still ruminating.
• 32:35
  questions like: So, getting in places like that.
• 32:37
  questions like: Also working on regulating myself, whether that's meditation, whether that's breath work, whether that's just mindfulness.
• 32:45
  questions like: The other thing for me is just bringing my, my intention back to wait a minute, I've fallen into these states, I don't want to be there.
• 32:54
  questions like: I will get back into these states and I'm going to step into a place of love.
• 32:59
  questions like: I'm gonna step into a place of kindness.
• 33:01
  questions like: Now, honestly, when I'm triggered in those lower states, that's not just this easy flip, like, okay, let me step into love.
• 33:08
  questions like: So what I'll have to do is I'll, because every, every emotion has certain recipes to it.
• 33:13
  questions like: Like every emotion, the recipe is there's gonna be something you're focused on, something that you're believing and, or something that you're doing that can create that emotion.
• 33:22
  questions like: Like emotions are sort of like a tornado, there's certain things that create them.
• 33:27
  questions like: So when I'm in one of those lower states, it will so clog my, my thinking and my vision.
• 33:34
  questions like: So I might think, okay, I gotta step into a place of more love.
• 33:38
  questions like: And I'll think, okay, where, where's my go-to?
• 33:40
  questions like: So it's usually my children.
• 33:42
  questions like: But when I'm in that state, then I'm like, ah, but this one's doing this and this one's doing this.
• 33:46
  questions like: And I start, you know, going through all the problems that my kids are, I don't know, being like, wait a minute, but let me go back to, I remember that vacation we took.
• 33:54
  questions like: And, isn't this amazing that this one, though, they're struggling, they're, they're working through some things and this one's this.
• 34:01
  questions like: And then it's like my heart begins to soften back up again and, and I start to feel love on where the easiest point for me is my kids, right?
• 34:12
  questions like: And then, you know, I can expand it from there.
• 34:15
  questions like: So that's some of the work I've gotta do, like when I'm really having a rough time and I, I get sucked down into the, into that turbulent state, I have to do things like that.
• 34:26
  questions like: Because a lot of times people might say, but you know what, this project is due in, by tomorrow.
• 34:32
  questions like: You know, how do I get that, quick fix to get me out of the turbulent state into the beautiful state so that I can get this done and and do it right?
• 34:44
  questions like: Do it right the first time.
• 34:45
  questions like: Yeah.
• 34:46
  questions like: So anytime things like that, like, I've had that where you have big deadline or big speeches coming up and you're feeling this anxiety, but if you sit with that for a moment, it's just a fear of something.
• 34:57
  questions like: And so when you start to get clear on that, like, well, what's the fear right now?
• 35:01
  questions like: Is the fear that I'm not going to get this done?
• 35:04
  questions like: Then you can take a look at, well, do I have time scheduled for this?
• 35:07
  questions like: And okay, I do.
• 35:08
  questions like: And have I done things in the past?
• 35:10
  questions like: So let me put trust in myself.
• 35:11
  questions like: So I've got the, I got the space for it, and let me make sure I'm trusting myself.
• 35:17
  questions like: Okay, good.
• 35:18
  questions like: This will get done.
• 35:20
  questions like: Doesn't mean I'm not gonna be activated still, like I'm, I'm focused and I'm ready like if I'm getting on stage, I'm not just in this zen state.
• 35:27
  questions like: Yeah, I'm activated, but I don't have to be stressed.
• 35:31
  questions like: And so much of it is that stress, is that fear.
• 35:35
  questions like: It's that like, let's try to control it.
• 35:37
  questions like: Because how many times and for those listening, how many times have you really stressed about something and then you get it in or you get the speech done or whatever, and, and an hour later you're like, why did I stress so much?
• 35:48
  questions like: Like, I just look what I just did to my life where I barked at my kids or you know, I was snippy with my spouse, all because I was stressed and I didn't need to be.
• 35:59
  questions like: And that's like a broken record for so many people in their life.
• 36:01
  questions like: Like, I was more stressed than I needed to be.
• 36:04
  questions like: Well, the truth is, you didn't need to be stressed at all.
• 36:08
  questions like: I get that, there's sometimes real threats in our life, like, if you don't get this done, you know, you're gonna get fired.
• 36:12
  questions like: Okay.
• 36:13
  questions like: Well, I'm gonna give it my best effort and if I get fired, I'll be okay.
• 36:17
  questions like: Because I'm always betting on me.
• 36:21
  questions like: And I've found that so much of life is that, it's like a poker game where you, you gotta put all the chips in.
• 36:27
  questions like: You are all in on you.
• 36:30
  questions like: Not your idea.
• 36:31
  questions like: You're always all in on you.
• 36:34
  questions like: I am gonna quote this other quote, and this is from page 215.
• 36:38
  questions like: It says, when you feel like quitting, know that you entered a growth zone.
• 36:45
  questions like: This is an opportunity to get stronger, but if you bail out, you will lose that growth.
• 36:51
  questions like: Let's talk about that.
• 36:54
  questions like: Yeah, I think about, think about most of the growth that's happened in your life.
• 36:58
  questions like: It, it just happens because of some kind of, stressor.
• 37:03
  questions like: Like some kind of challenge where, I mean, we, we were born to walk uphill, like we were born to climb.
• 37:10
  questions like: And even from the research, what we know about human motivation is that when we have a challenging goal that's specific, it will always increase our performance.
• 37:21
  questions like: So there's, there's something inside of us that we're striving.
• 37:24
  questions like: We're goal striving people.
• 37:26
  questions like: But the thing about the goal is that it's gotta be challenging.
• 37:30
  questions like: Not too challenging, but it's gotta be challenging.
• 37:32
  questions like: But challenging means that at some point you don't want to do it.
• 37:37
  questions like: Like at some point you're thinking, I can't do this.
• 37:40
  questions like: And now you're forced to, examine what you really can do and what you can't do.
• 37:46
  questions like: And are you gonna keep going?
• 37:47
  questions like: So it's in all these moments that when we quit, we lose the lesson.
• 37:52
  questions like: And trust me, I've quit lots of things.
• 37:54
  questions like: I've quit some things where I just, I was tired.
• 37:57
  questions like: Quit some things where I was overwhelmed.
• 37:59
  questions like: Quit some things 'cause I was overextended.
• 38:02
  questions like: Well, every time I quit, I, I lost a lot of the lessons.
• 38:05
  questions like: It's not that I didn't get any lessons, but I, I lost a lot of the lessons about me.
• 38:10
  questions like: So that's why when you are struggling with something, you're totally in a growth zone.
• 38:17
  questions like: It doesn't have to be a mountain.
• 38:18
  questions like: It could be that a new boss has come into your life and they are making life miserable.
• 38:24
  questions like: So great, you've just entered a growth state.
• 38:27
  questions like: You are like, how is this growth?
• 38:29
  questions like: Because you're now having to figure out what you're gonna do, what conversation you need to have.
• 38:36
  questions like: Are you gonna stay in that job or are you gonna leave?
• 38:38
  questions like: If you are going to leave, you know, now let's face all those demons and those fears that come up.
• 38:45
  questions like: Like it's just a it's a growth zone.
• 38:48
  questions like: It's like entering, it's like you just paid tuition to sit in a college class and so much of life is that.
• 38:55
  questions like: And you know, what's the alternative that we just avoid the lessons all our life.
• 38:59
  questions like: And over time we just become this person that has a very soft, squishy character.
• 39:06
  questions like: When the real big challenges come and people need you, you're not there for them because you didn't build the muscles throughout life.
• 39:14
  questions like: And I believe that even though you fail, you grow and you learn so much from those failed attempts.
• 39:26
  questions like: Yeah, I just, I just failed recently where I entered a local storytelling competition in my city.
• 39:33
  questions like: And I didn't even know they had these, but I found out they did, and I thought, oh, I'm gonna go to one.
• 39:38
  questions like: And then I decided, well, I should enter it because I've stood on stage almost 3000 times.
• 39:44
  questions like: Like I, I, I am really good at it from, from this small town shy kid, I've, I've developed this skill.
• 39:50
  questions like: So I thought, well, I'm gonna go in the competition.
• 39:52
  questions like: So I go down there and it was that voice though that was like, don't go in the competition.
• 39:56
  questions like: Like, just go watch it first, 'cause you don't even know what you're getting into.
• 39:59
  questions like: But the other part of me like that, that soul mindset was like, no, let's, let's go in it.
• 40:04
  questions like: And I get down there and what, what they do is you put your name in a hat and they pull 10 names out during the night and whoever gets called, they, you go up, you tell the story for five minutes.
• 40:14
  questions like: And then you're judged by this panel.
• 40:16
  questions like: So I tell my kids, hey, your dad's gonna go do this thing, I want you guys to come.
• 40:20
  questions like: And so they came.
• 40:22
  questions like: And I show up that night and I thought it was like gonna be a room of 30 people, but it's not like an auditorium.
• 40:27
  questions like: And the bottom level and the top level were full.
• 40:30
  questions like: And I'm like, oh, this changes everything.
• 40:33
  questions like: But I'd already committed, right?
• 40:34
  questions like: So I, I put my name in the hat and I went up to sit down in the balcony by my daughter and I, I turned to her and I jokingly said, do you ever do something that right away you, you regretted?
• 40:47
  questions like: And she kind of laughed and I said, well, as long as I don't get called first, because I literally don't even know, what this is.
• 40:53
  questions like: And sure, as anything, they get up there, they're like, and the first storyteller of the night, James Robbins.
• 41:01
  questions like: I was like, no.
• 41:03
  questions like: So I get up, I get on stage.
• 41:05
  questions like: Now again, I, this is, I do this for a living, but I get on stage, I went over my time, I didn't put the secret word in you're supposed to say.
• 41:14
  questions like: But the good news is at the end of when I got off stage, I was in first place, until the second person went.
• 41:20
  questions like: And then I was in second, and then I was in third and then fourth.
• 41:24
  questions like: And then my kids were like, hey, dad we're gonna go.
• 41:26
  questions like: I was like, okay.
• 41:27
  questions like: And then I was in fifth, and then I was in sixth.
• 41:30
  questions like: I ended up the night in sixth place.
• 41:32
  questions like: And, I remember like the ego mindset was butt hurt about that.
• 41:37
  questions like: Like kind of slinking outta the auditorium.
• 41:39
  questions like: Because there's no way that anyone in that auditorium has been on stage more than me.
• 41:45
  questions like: I just totally got wiped out.
• 41:47
  questions like: So the ego mindset is nursing that, but the soul, the soul's mindset is just like, that was awesome.
• 41:54
  questions like: Like that was so fantastic.
• 41:56
  questions like: Like what a great experience.
• 41:57
  questions like: And uh, and then also, hey, what did we learn?
• 42:01
  questions like: And because I did, I learned some lessons there.
• 42:03
  questions like: And so sometimes I look back like, can you imagine had I gone up, entered, won the competition and what's the lesson in that?
• 42:13
  questions like: What's even in the lesson for other people?
• 42:15
  questions like: Like, I wouldn't even tell that story'cause it would almost seem embarrassing.
• 42:18
  questions like: Like what, you're a professional speaker and you won a, a storytelling contest at your city and you're proud of that.
• 42:23
  questions like: Like, I wouldn't even tell the story.
• 42:26
  questions like: But now I tell the story and people love the story because it's a story of, of shortcoming and we all can relate with that.
• 42:34
  questions like: One, I'm shocked that you lost because you're an awesome storyteller.
• 42:38
  questions like: I, I can say that because I've read your book and I've read tons of books in my life.
• 42:44
  questions like: But I don't know if you've ever read the book Storytelling.
• 42:47
  questions like: I can't remember the author, but he is like, like champion storyteller.
• 42:52
  questions like: I think it's called smash mouth or something, it's some type of event like you've talked about where, you know, they pull people out of a hat and you tell stories.
• 43:01
  questions like: So this guy's a professional storyteller who's written a book on storytelling and how to tell stories, and he lost.
• 43:10
  questions like: But he also said that, he learned, a certain technique.
• 43:17
  questions like: He learned things to help him refine his way of telling stories.
• 43:21
  questions like: And put 'em back on the map as being, you know, the one of the best storytellers.
• 43:26
  questions like: Yeah, so that's why you know, it, it comes back to you've gotta take chances in life.
• 43:32
  questions like: And of course it's gonna be scary at times, but then again, it's how you frame it.
• 43:36
  questions like: The ego wants to protect your image.
• 43:39
  questions like: The soul wants to grow.
• 43:40
  questions like: The soul seeks expansion and expression.
• 43:44
  questions like: And that's often scary because we're not always gonna look good, but the soul doesn't care about that.
• 43:51
  questions like: The soul really doesn't care.
• 43:52
  questions like: The soul wants to express itself through you.
• 43:55
  questions like: It wants to, it wants you to be the highest expression of you.
• 43:59
  questions like: And, and you'll want that as well.
• 44:01
  questions like: Like once you're there, you'll want that.
• 44:03
  questions like: But the journey there is perilous to say the least.
• 44:07
  questions like: I think this quote from your book on page 218 ties into what you just said.
• 44:11
  questions like: It says, the most important thing is your faith.
• 44:15
  questions like: Faith in yourself.
• 44:16
  questions like: There's nothing more important than believing you can do it because it produces hope.
• 44:23
  questions like: And when you have hope, you keep climbing.
• 44:27
  questions like: Yeah.
• 44:28
  questions like: A number of years ago, I went through, I was trying to think like, of what emotions are the most important to me.
• 44:34
  questions like: And, you know, I come from a faith background where everyone just talks about love.
• 44:40
  questions like: Love and love is the most important thing.
• 44:41
  questions like: And, I totally get that, but then I started thinking about it, for me, it actually hope is, is more important.
• 44:48
  questions like: Because I can be, let's say without love.
• 44:55
  questions like: But if I have hope that I will be loved, it keeps me going.
• 44:59
  questions like: But if I have lots of love around me, but I have no hope, that's a different story.
• 45:04
  questions like: There's lots of people who have had tough endings because they might have had love around them, they might have had money around them, but they didn't have hope for whatever reason.
• 45:13
  questions like: That hope is that belief in a better future.
• 45:16
  questions like: But so much of that belief has gotta be rooted in something.
• 45:20
  questions like: And in something tangible.
• 45:23
  questions like: So that's why it's gotta be rooted in you.
• 45:27
  questions like: There's gotta come back to this belief that I can do this and you know,'cause one of our biggest fears is that I'm not capable, I'm not strong enough, I'm not whatever enough.
• 45:38
  questions like: And we realize that, but wait a minute, I'm actually quite capable because look at all the things I've gone through so far.
• 45:44
  questions like: Look at everything I've survived.
• 45:45
  questions like: Look at everything I've overcome.
• 45:47
  questions like: And I'm going to bank all that, and I'm gonna put that forward and go, okay, I'm gonna put faith in myself.
• 45:55
  questions like: Faith in me.
• 45:57
  questions like: And sometimes, you know, when I think about mantras, and one of my favorite mantras to pull out sometimes is simply, I believe in me.
• 46:08
  questions like: Like when I'm going through a tough time or I gotta go, I gotta meet with a client, or they want me to come into some manufacturing plant and maybe I feel that little bit of insecurity like, wait a minute, I don't know this industry.
• 46:19
  questions like: And then I just come back to, hey, I believe in me.
• 46:22
  questions like: Like I believe in me.
• 46:23
  questions like: I will figure it out.
• 46:24
  questions like: It doesn't mean I'll be perfect, but I'm just choosing to believe in me.
• 46:28
  questions like: And even that mantra alone, if you can just keep taking that with you, I believe in me.
• 46:33
  questions like: It's going to be that subtle reminder to, to steady yourself again and just go, yeah, okay.
• 46:39
  questions like: Don't look outside for the answer.
• 46:40
  questions like: Let, let's just look inside.
• 46:42
  questions like: I believe in me.
• 46:44
  questions like: That's beautiful.
• 46:46
  questions like: James, based on the conversation that we have had here today, what are three things that you shared that you think people should practice to help them, become more aligned with themselves and find their purpose?
• 47:04
  questions like: Number one, I would say, is to start creating some space for yourself where you can be quiet.
• 47:11
  questions like: So in other words, don't just get outta bed and then jump off into life.
• 47:16
  questions like: Find some space, even if that means you have to start getting up earlier, which means maybe you gotta go to bed earlier.
• 47:22
  questions like: But find some space where you can just start to be regulated, be in touch with your soul.
• 47:29
  questions like: Begin to ask those questions about what do I really want in my life?
• 47:34
  questions like: I think that's, one big thing.
• 47:35
  questions like: The second would be outlining what would be your beautiful state.
• 47:41
  questions like: Like what's that elevated state of your life look like?
• 47:46
  questions like: And, as you outline that, then make the decision, I will live in a beautiful state no matter what.
• 47:53
  questions like: If you just start making that commitment,'cause then what's gonna happen is 10 30 rolls around and you're not in a beautiful state, you're back in a turbulent state.
• 48:00
  questions like: But at least now you notice because you put your brain on notice that we're gonna live in this state.
• 48:06
  questions like: So now all of a sudden you're frustrated, or you're angry, or you're worried, uh, you catch it.
• 48:11
  questions like: And by catching that, you can say, okay, I'm, I'm gonna return back to a beautiful state.
• 48:16
  questions like: So it, it's that intention.
• 48:18
  questions like: And then the third thing I would say is to, you know, just always keep coming back to how you see yourself and how you treat yourself.
• 48:28
  questions like: That you have that belief in yourself.
• 48:30
  questions like: And you speak to yourself in a way that is really admirable, like that you, you admire yourself and everything you've gone through.
• 48:40
  questions like: Of course, you're not perfect.
• 48:41
  questions like: So we don't have to even have that argument, but let's be our greatest cheerleader and get in the habit of, of beginning to praise you.
• 48:49
  questions like: And maybe you were raised in a time like I was where, you know, your parents would say like, oh, you don't want to get a big head.
• 48:55
  questions like: And you don't have to tell anyone else about you, but just tell yourself, you know, Hey this is amazing what you did.
• 49:01
  questions like: Hey, did you see how you handled that?
• 49:02
  questions like: That was so good.
• 49:03
  questions like: Hey, you know what's something so cool about you is just the way you, that you're there for your friends or the way you do this, just have a constant diet of that.
• 49:12
  questions like: So those would be three things off the top of my head, I would say, that are gonna strengthen you in the climb.
• 49:18
  questions like: That is beautiful.
• 49:20
  questions like: James, where can people learn more about you and where can they purchase your book?
• 49:25
  questions like: You can get the book at most retailers, whether physical Barnes & Noble or online like Amazon.
• 49:32
  questions like: And if you'd like to go to the website for the book, it is I Will Climb.com.
• 49:37
  questions like: I Will Climb.com 'Cause that's the question that was posed to Riley, will You climb?
• 49:42
  questions like: And they struggled with that and they had to make the decisions.
• 49:44
  questions like: So it's I Will Climb.com.
• 49:47
  questions like: And you also have a podcast and a YouTube.
• 49:50
  questions like: That's right, and you should be able to find all of those things there.
• 49:53
  questions like: Hopefully, I'll have to go check those links.
• 49:56
  questions like: Great.
• 49:56
  questions like: James, thank you so much for one, giving me a courtesy copy of your book.
• 50:01
  questions like: Uh, loved it, loved it, loved it.
• 50:02
  questions like: You're, everyone's gonna read my review, and thank you for coming on the show and sharing your amazing insights.
• 50:10
  questions like: Carmen, it was just great to be with you.
• 50:11
  questions like: Thanks for all the kind words, and I love the questions and just how much thought you put into this.
• 50:16
  questions like: So thanks a lot and thank you for all that you do.
• 50:19
  questions like: I know you, you help a lot of people through that midlife passage, and that's fantastic.
• 50:24
  questions like: Great.
• 50:24
  questions like: Thank you so much.
• 50:26
  questions like: Remember that storytelling competition?
• 50:30
  questions like: James was called first and he didn't win, but that was the point.
• 50:35
  questions like: The soul doesn't care if you look perfect, it cares that you climb.
• 50:41
  questions like: And the two words he leans on before big moments, I believe.
• 50:45
  questions like: As in, I believe in me.
• 50:48
  questions like: Use it, next time your name gets called, as I believe in me.
• 50:54
  questions like: Use it the next time your name gets called and your stomach drops.
• 50:59
  questions like: If you are living in a turbulent state, borrow James reset, step into nature, if you can breathe and intentionally return to your beautiful state, that's where your best ideas, we're hiding.
• 51:13
  questions like: And if you feel like quitting, that's your sign that you've entered a growth zone.
• 51:19
  questions like: Stay with it and don't forfeit the lesson.
• 51:22
  questions like: If you want more from James or connect with him, head on over to createthebestme.com/ep143.
• 51:32
  questions like: I've linked his book, the Call to Climb, his YouTube and podcast, Born to Climb.
• 51:38
  questions like: If this episode helped you share it with a friend who's ready to realign and come back next week for another amazing episode, created just for you.
• 51:50
  questions like: Until then, keep dreaming big.
• 51:52
  questions like: Take care of yourself.
• 51:54
  questions like: And remember, you were beautiful, strong, and capable of creating the best version of yourself.
• 52:01
  questions like: Thank you for watching.
• 52:03
  questions like: Catch you next week.
• 52:04
  questions like: Bye for now.