Latest / You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women / 88. Feeling Stuck? You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan to Make a Change

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88. Feeling Stuck? You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan to Make a Change · You're Overqualified Podcast - Career and Leadership Strategies for Women

• 0:10
  Hi, I'm Danny Tan, and if you are here, you are in the right
• 0:13
  place. Welcome to the Pivot and
• 0:15
  Promotion podcast where we say forget the rules because they
• 0:18
  weren't written for us. I'm Danny Tan, I'm your host as
• 0:21
  well as career and leadership coach and a proud advocate for
• 0:24
  redefining what success and leadership looks like.
• 0:26
  And here's what I know. You can lead at any level, you
• 0:29
  can pivot at any age, and you can make moves that feel right
• 0:32
  for you. Whether you're climbing the
• 0:34
  perfect ladder, starting something completely new, or
• 0:36
  just figuring out your next step.
• 0:38
  I've got you covered with strategies, stories, and
• 0:40
  straight up inspiration. So let's make some moves.
• 0:47
  Hello, how are you? And today we're talking about
• 0:50
  that feeling of feeling stuck and how you don't necessarily
• 0:54
  need the quote UN quote perfect plan in order to make a change
• 0:58
  for yourself. So a lot of recent inquiries
• 1:02
  when it comes to coaching, folks who are interested about doing
• 1:05
  coaching or folks who in generally just have wanted to
• 1:08
  work together have had a lot of these questions come up or a lot
• 1:11
  of these statements and quotes have come up of I've know I've
• 1:14
  outgrown my current role, but I don't even what to apply for.
• 1:18
  I'm good at what I do, but it's just not aligned anymore.
• 1:21
  Everything looks fine on paper, but I feel disconnected.
• 1:24
  So it's this idea of I don't know what I want, but it's not
• 1:29
  this. I'm not sure where I want to go,
• 1:31
  but I know where I am right now doesn't feel like it's it.
• 1:34
  And so knowing that maybe you are outgrowing where you
• 1:38
  currently are, or even though you're good at it, it doesn't
• 1:40
  light you up anymore. You're not as excited, you don't
• 1:42
  feel as aligned or even though on paper it looks perfect, but
• 1:47
  in reality you're just not feeling it anymore.
• 1:50
  And so this is where a lot of my clients will begin and they'll
• 1:54
  say, I don't know what to do. I have built my career or all my
• 1:58
  experience in this space. And So what do I do now?
• 2:01
  And I think the most important thing is, is that when you begin
• 2:05
  here and you wanted to make a change or you want to make a
• 2:07
  change, you are not behind. I think a big thing that will
• 2:10
  come up will be, Oh my gosh, I'm so late in the game and I want
• 2:14
  to make a change now. Like, how am I so behind?
• 2:17
  How did I not realize that this was not necessarily my passion
• 2:21
  or my love of what I wanted to do?
• 2:23
  What do I do now? And I think the biggest thing is
• 2:25
  that you are not behind. All of these are signals letting
• 2:29
  you know that you're just ready for your next step, and that's
• 2:32
  OK. And I think the biggest thing is
• 2:35
  that you for for what it takes to make a next step when you
• 2:39
  feel like you don't know. What you do not need is a 10
• 2:43
  year plan or a 10 year vision. You don't have to have the
• 2:47
  perfect job title in order to take the next step of what it is
• 2:51
  that you want to do, especially if you have no idea, right?
• 2:54
  And being stuck is not the problem.
• 2:58
  You're not stuck. You're not.
• 3:00
  It's the the stuckness does not come from lack of clarity or
• 3:04
  lack of a plan or a lack of knowing.
• 3:07
  What keeps you stuck is not having a support system and a
• 3:10
  strategy and not and if you were for some reason lacking taking
• 3:13
  action. So I want you to think about if
• 3:15
  this is hitting home for you of I don't know what I want, but I
• 3:19
  know what it is like what I have right now is not it.
• 3:22
  So it's like I'm not sure, but right now is just not what I
• 3:26
  want. I feel like I've either out
• 3:28
  grown where I'm currently at in my business or in my career or
• 3:31
  in life, or I feel like I'm good at what I do, but it just
• 3:34
  doesn't, you know, align with who I am or who I want to be or
• 3:38
  everything looks good from a piece of paper standpoint, but
• 3:42
  I'm still just not feeling it. That I want you to sit here and
• 3:45
  think about this prompt. I want you to reflect on it and
• 3:48
  I want you to think about where may you be pretending that you
• 3:54
  are fine or that you are OK, when in reality you actually
• 3:58
  want something more, but you might not have the language or
• 4:02
  plan for it. So just sit like, what am I kind
• 4:04
  of saying? Like I'm OK with, but in reality
• 4:07
  I'm actually not OK with it. I'm just trying to sit with it
• 4:09
  because I'm not sure what else there is to do or what else
• 4:14
  could be out there for me. And so kind of sit with that and
• 4:17
  see what comes up because typically what we're letting
• 4:20
  ourselves say is fine or OK for lack of knowing what is possible
• 4:25
  will be the thing that really keeps us stuck because we feel
• 4:29
  like we need a perfect plan in order to make that change.
• 4:32
  And so I would sit and think about that.
• 4:35
  So here is an example that we can talk about of how clarity
• 4:40
  doesn't come from just like sitting still and this
• 4:43
  stuckness, it comes from making moves and taking action.
• 4:46
  And so this is the thing that I'll hear clients say.
• 4:50
  It'd be like, I've been overthinking this for months.
• 4:53
  Or they'll come into a sales con and say, I've been thinking on
• 4:55
  this for years. I've been thinking about it for
• 4:57
  a year. I'm not sure.
• 4:59
  Or, you know, I just took this one step and I just, I'm not
• 5:04
  sure what to do next. Like I feel a little bit frozen.
• 5:07
  And So what can you do in order to really start to take action
• 5:11
  and have clarity? And so again, clarity doesn't
• 5:14
  come from being still and not doing anything.
• 5:17
  It comes from making moves and taking steps forward.
• 5:19
  And so here's a client example that I'm thinking about right
• 5:21
  now. I had a client who came in and
• 5:24
  they were like, you know, like I'm good at my job, but it's
• 5:29
  just something feels off and it's not super aligned.
• 5:31
  And I don't know if this, I want to if this is what I want to do
• 5:35
  anymore. I don't know if I want to stay
• 5:37
  in this career path. I don't know if I want to stay
• 5:38
  in this industry. And I'm just feeling kind of
• 5:41
  stuck, like I don't know where to start when it comes to even
• 5:44
  exploring other careers. I don't know where to start when
• 5:47
  it comes to even how to identify a career that could be a good
• 5:51
  path for me. I know what I'm good at
• 5:53
  currently, but I don't know how that translates to something
• 5:56
  else they also were unsure of. Like, even if I find a path and
• 6:00
  how do I translate my experience and my skills from my current
• 6:03
  role to a new one on top of that?
• 6:05
  And then outside of even doing that, how do I interview and
• 6:08
  prep and go into those things? How do I identify a company
• 6:11
  that's going to excite me and light me up?
• 6:13
  Because currently my company feels unhealthy or a little bit
• 6:16
  toxic. And so these are the questions
• 6:18
  that were coming up. And so they had kept just like
• 6:21
  ruminating and ruminating all these thoughts for months and
• 6:23
  months and months without being able to really figure out what
• 6:26
  is the first step to take action.
• 6:29
  And so the biggest thing that we sat down in coaching and worked
• 6:32
  on was OK mapping out what she was just tolerating because, you
• 6:39
  know, she was just in the role trying to make it happen versus
• 6:42
  what actually she enjoyed. And lights out of that role, we
• 6:46
  identified things that were coming up for her was like
• 6:48
  unclear leadership, unclear structure, a company that didn't
• 6:52
  align with like her values or her voice of what it is that she
• 6:55
  wanted to represent the that she actually was dealing with a bit
• 6:58
  of micromanagement that was not helping her with her work.
• 7:01
  And so a big thing that came up for her was getting actually
• 7:05
  clarity on what is most important for her for her to
• 7:08
  come to work and be the best that she can be and feel good
• 7:11
  about what is that she's doing in the work that she's doing.
• 7:13
  And so that was the first piece we need to do is have a
• 7:16
  foundational base. And then the next piece was then
• 7:19
  to explore through different exercises, what her interests
• 7:23
  were, what it is that her skill sets were, what is her expertise
• 7:26
  is known for to then build out a career plan, a career strategy,
• 7:31
  pivoting plan to figure out, OK, how do we start to explore, you
• 7:35
  know, path AB and C to see what is truly aligned with her.
• 7:39
  And so she started working through that and then within
• 7:41
  weeks, you know, she had been able to set up some calls for
• 7:45
  networking. We realigned her resume and her
• 7:47
  LinkedIn. And then she started
• 7:49
  interviewing for jobs at companies that were way more
• 7:51
  aligned with her vision and her values.
• 7:54
  Overall, a leadership team that was more going to give her
• 7:57
  autonomy and in all honesty, value her expertise and
• 8:00
  experience. And so that is what really
• 8:03
  excited her and she felt like she was more prepared.
• 8:05
  And so it just takes one step of versus sitting with yourself and
• 8:08
  like this grogginess of the fog of unsure of what to do, of
• 8:14
  coming to it. So the biggest things that we
• 8:16
  talked about was, you know, what drains you versus what energizes
• 8:20
  you and that gives you more data points as to what to do next.
• 8:25
  I'm always going to do a a mixture of facts and feelings.
• 8:28
  So understanding and identifying out of your current past roles,
• 8:32
  what maybe you know, puts a little bit of life out of you,
• 8:35
  what kind of drains you and what is really lighting you up and
• 8:36
  getting you excited because this gives us strong points to go off
• 8:41
  of for what is potentially for you.
• 8:43
  Folks will come in and say, I have done every single
• 8:45
  assessment under the sun. I've done all the quizzes and
• 8:49
  yes those are beautiful things, but there's nothing more real
• 8:52
  then us doing the exercise of sitting through and collecting
• 8:55
  the data of your real lived experience and how will inform
• 8:58
  your future. Another thing that comes up
• 9:00
  within coaching that I try to, you know, help is that the
• 9:03
  perfection, the perfect plan, you know, that is beautiful and
• 9:08
  all, but it's really just going to slow you down is how clarity
• 9:10
  comes from experimenting, getting feedback and then
• 9:14
  adjusting the plan, asking stronger questions, reflecting
• 9:17
  even more. And that's my responsibility as
• 9:19
  your coach. And so folks will come in and
• 9:21
  they'll be like, I need plan and step 123, I'm giving them step
• 9:25
  123. But versus it being the perfect
• 9:27
  piece. We talked about experimentation,
• 9:29
  different things to experiment when it comes to your resume,
• 9:31
  different things to experiment when it comes to networking or
• 9:35
  interview prep. We have all these different
• 9:36
  experiments that we're running to see what is the strongest
• 9:39
  path forward by getting feedback, whether it's from
• 9:41
  recruiters, whether it's from from leadership teams, whether
• 9:43
  it's from companies in order to then go ahead and create clarity
• 9:47
  for you and how to ask questions to really get to the root of
• 9:51
  what it is that you are looking for when it comes to the path
• 9:54
  forward when it comes to that for yourself.
• 9:57
  And that realizing that you do not get clarity from just
• 10:00
  sitting and journaling in circles on your own or deep
• 10:03
  diving on your own into the YouTube universe or into Google
• 10:07
  or just like endlessly rewriting your resume 500 times.
• 10:10
  Like there has to be a clear strategy and different touch
• 10:14
  points. That's how we worked at it.
• 10:15
  That's why there's a plan. And so I always tell the clients
• 10:18
  whenever they join their own. A big thing that's been
• 10:20
  reflected back to me is how quote, UN quote, organized and
• 10:23
  structured I am. But The thing is, is that I
• 10:25
  don't just create structured organization because that's a
• 10:28
  personality. I also do it based off of client
• 10:30
  data and results. So if you ever work with me when
• 10:33
  you work with me, just know is that I actually always do like a
• 10:36
  hindsight. I sit and I look back at all my
• 10:39
  current and past clients, what the results were and what it
• 10:42
  took for them to get there. So I can refine the client
• 10:44
  process of getting your results as fast as possible.
• 10:48
  Of course, like it's not always about speed, it's also about
• 10:50
  like efficiency. It's about people's energies,
• 10:52
  about what's their, their bandwidth.
• 10:54
  But I always want to go back and refine the process.
• 10:57
  And so I think that part is really important too.
• 11:00
  And I also think it's really important to utilize like AI and
• 11:03
  other tools that are coming up in order to help us because
• 11:06
  that's important as well. So a lot of folks who come in
• 11:09
  and they're like, Oh my gosh, I started to learn all these
• 11:11
  different tools that I can use after working with you.
• 11:13
  But I think it's important because these are things that
• 11:15
  also bleed into our lives that can help us.
• 11:17
  There are things that bleed into our careers that can help us and
• 11:19
  to our businesses too. So for this, I would say the
• 11:23
  prompt would be like, what is what, what, what's like one part
• 11:27
  of maybe your current role or your industry that you're ready
• 11:30
  to walk away from. Even if you, you know, you're
• 11:33
  kind of like, I could like leave this behind.
• 11:35
  It's a little bit draining. I'm unsure about it.
• 11:37
  I would just have that be a thing to write down, right?
• 11:40
  Because that's something for us just to identify as a data point
• 11:43
  of maybe what you were looking for to move forward to.
• 11:46
  And so I'll repeat that one more time.
• 11:47
  It's like, what is something in either your current role, your
• 11:50
  industry that you kind of want to walk away from or leave
• 11:52
  behind? Maybe it's a little bit
• 11:53
  draining. And even if you don't know where
• 11:56
  you're going to walk towards, that will help us give us the
• 11:58
  data point of maybe where we need to shift or make some
• 12:00
  movement for you when it comes to being able to get unstuck if
• 12:06
  you are feeling stuck. And that will be a good
• 12:09
  identifier. So sit with that and let me
• 12:11
  know. And then the phase 3 is like,
• 12:13
  what can you actually do? Like what can you action on your
• 12:16
  own without having like a like a full on plan, but some steps you
• 12:20
  can start to take. So here's like some recommended
• 12:22
  coaching that I have for you. As you can kind of hear
• 12:25
  throughout the themes is I would love for you to audit your
• 12:28
  energy. And So what did that is each day
• 12:32
  or at the end of the week, I would love for you to sit down
• 12:34
  and say like, OK, where did I feel like this really drained
• 12:38
  me? Or where do I feel like I was
• 12:39
  really, really, really was like shut Downing, like, you know,
• 12:42
  going to freeze or shut down or overwhelm.
• 12:45
  I would love for you to list out those things because those those
• 12:47
  little energy sucks are going to tell us of where maybe you're
• 12:50
  feeling stuck in your currents, whether it's your role or your
• 12:53
  business or within your day-to-day.
• 12:57
  Writing those little energy audits will help us identify
• 13:00
  where potentially the stuckness is coming from.
• 13:04
  Another thing that you could potentially do when it comes to
• 13:07
  getting unstuck and moving yourself forward is being able
• 13:10
  to think about something that you've always been interested in
• 13:13
  and wanted to pursue but had no idea where to start.
• 13:16
  So I'm thinking about one client, for example, you know,
• 13:19
  she went from working at her her day job in corporate to wanting
• 13:24
  to start home business and so and wanted her own fitness
• 13:28
  business. And so the big thing we said was
• 13:30
  okay, how do you start to build the belief, the confidence, the
• 13:33
  evidence that it is possible is by setting up conversations with
• 13:36
  those who have exercised businesses as their full time
• 13:40
  that do that and pursue that so you can start to see and
• 13:42
  envision what is possible for you.
• 13:44
  So I would say if there's something that has been, you
• 13:47
  know, kind of ruminating in the back of your mind that you've
• 13:49
  been sitting with that you want to take a little step forward in
• 13:53
  book a conversation with someone who does that.
• 13:55
  And so you can either like find them on a meet up, go to
• 13:57
  meetup.com, you can go to LinkedIn and search for somebody
• 14:01
  with that title or that company or that name.
• 14:04
  And then just know you're not asking for a job, you're not
• 14:06
  asking for any new. This is just a data point to
• 14:08
  have an understanding of what it's like to have a day in the
• 14:11
  life with that person. And so I would say these are
• 14:14
  some things you can start to do to start to feel less stuck,
• 14:17
  unstuck yourself, take a little movement for it without having
• 14:21
  some like, you know, crazy thought out plan.
• 14:24
  Here's some small baby steps that you can take.
• 14:25
  And so this is what I would say just as like some reminders,
• 14:28
  like we don't always have to go back to school and restart
• 14:31
  everything and have like the perfect elevator pitch and the
• 14:34
  perfect resume and the perfect cover letter to get started.
• 14:37
  Sometimes it's just taking these little baby micro steps, which I
• 14:39
  think is super important to emphasize baby micro steps
• 14:43
  forward. So you feel like you're building
• 14:44
  that traction towards the change that you want for yourself.
• 14:47
  This is a big thing that I talk about in coaching is that it can
• 14:50
  be a shock to our system. It can be a shock to our minds,
• 14:54
  to our bodies, to our nervous system.
• 14:56
  So just jump off the deep end. I'll have clients come to me who
• 14:59
  said they have worked with the previous coach who like push
• 15:01
  them to do networking in like some big aggressive way or push
• 15:04
  them to, you know, market themselves in some big way if in
• 15:07
  their business. And I'm not knocking that
• 15:10
  whatsoever. I just think that we always have
• 15:11
  to also take into account everybody has different past
• 15:15
  experiences, lived experiences of how comfortable they are with
• 15:18
  visibility, how comfortable they are with stepping out.
• 15:21
  And so being able to find small micro moments where you can
• 15:24
  start to build this belief for yourself is super important.
• 15:27
  Especially as women, especially women of color, especially as
• 15:29
  first and 2nd Gen. we have to make sure that we are creating
• 15:32
  some kind of safety for ourselves when we're taking
• 15:34
  these big steps that we're not necessarily systemically set up
• 15:38
  for us from the beginning. And so how do we do that?
• 15:40
  And that's something that I definitely use that lens when
• 15:43
  I'm working on that. So again, you don't have to have
• 15:44
  everything be perfect. We don't have to like go back to
• 15:47
  school, have a perfect resume, perfect elevator, pitch perfect
• 15:50
  website. There are micro ways that you
• 15:52
  can take those steps forward. And so I would say, you know,
• 15:56
  think of the small ways like auditing your energy to see
• 15:58
  where that stuckness is coming up, booking a conversation with
• 16:01
  somebody who piques your interest.
• 16:03
  And then you've been kind of ruminating on that you are
• 16:05
  dreaming up of and you want to see what's possible.
• 16:08
  And then I would say the biggest thing is like, you got to move
• 16:10
  out of your own way. Like period.
• 16:12
  You got to get out of your own way because at the end of the
• 16:14
  day, no one is stopping you but you.
• 16:17
  And so if you are having you like this very heady
• 16:20
  conversation in your with yourself, like on a loop, I call
• 16:23
  them loops. If you're constantly having
• 16:25
  these loops with yourself, it's time to experiment in a small
• 16:28
  way. It's time to seek out support
• 16:30
  and have somebody have accountability for you, whether
• 16:32
  it's a coach, whether it's a mentor, whether it's a friend
• 16:34
  who's going to help you to take action and move forward.
• 16:37
  Because if not, you're going to be sitting in this all day and
• 16:39
  continue to feel stuck. And so This is why coaching
• 16:42
  exists, because coaching is all about building and creating
• 16:45
  clarity through action. OK, You can't wait for clarity
• 16:49
  and then take action. You got to take action, which
• 16:51
  then creates clarity. And so coaching is it's all
• 16:54
  about taking action, having an action plan and having a
• 16:56
  strategy versus just like sitting in the sitting in the
• 17:00
  thoughts. I have folks who will come to me
• 17:02
  and say, well, I don't want to just like come to you and we're
• 17:05
  just talking about my emotions. I'm not knocking anybody who
• 17:08
  does that, but that's not what we do here.
• 17:10
  It's a mix of facts and feelings.
• 17:12
  We listen to your emotions, what's coming up, what could be
• 17:14
  potential blockers, and then we create a plan and a strategy and
• 17:17
  action points to move you forward.
• 17:18
  That is a crucial critical part because that's how helps you,
• 17:21
  one, learn new skills to learn how to build new habits. 3
• 17:25
  implement and create actionable and lifelong change that is
• 17:29
  sustainable for you. And that's the part that I think
• 17:31
  is really important. So I would say, you know,
• 17:34
  reflect and like what is like one tiny small experiment that
• 17:38
  you could do that could give you some more information this week.
• 17:42
  So that way instead of living and overthinking, you're taking
• 17:45
  actually one steps forward, 1 little experiment for.
• 17:48
  And this could be something of talking to someone.
• 17:50
  This could be something of auditing your energy, but
• 17:52
  something that helps you move a little, a little step closer to
• 17:56
  feeling unstuck. So again, if you are tired of
• 18:01
  sitting in like this, foggy, groggy, I'm not sure what to do.
• 18:05
  I'm not sure what step to take for it.
• 18:06
  I'm feeling stuck. This isn't right for me.
• 18:08
  Then this is where coaching comes in and how it helps.
• 18:11
  And so there's so many amazing women who have gone from feeling
• 18:15
  like stuck in their careers. Stuff that they couldn't get
• 18:18
  promoted, stuff that they couldn't get into companies that
• 18:20
  were going to value their leadership and their expertise.
• 18:23
  Stuck that they had a boss that was on all honesty not that
• 18:27
  great to them. Stuck in environments that not
• 18:29
  necessarily support of them. Stuck within corporate when they
• 18:33
  wanted to move into their own businesses.
• 18:34
  And here's the thing, they got unstuck because they took
• 18:37
  action. They took action by coming and
• 18:39
  working together in order to create a plan to move them
• 18:42
  forward. And that is how you get unstuck
• 18:45
  and that is how you move forward is being able to know that it
• 18:49
  takes accountability, it takes support, it takes strategy, it
• 18:53
  takes being able to have data, listen to the feedback, adjust
• 18:58
  and change and move forward. And that's what we do within
• 19:00
  coaching. So think about the prompts that
• 19:03
  I gave you, sit and reflect and think about those.
• 19:06
  See if there's any little experiments you can run
• 19:07
  yourself. But if you're looking to make a
• 19:09
  really big change for yourself, you are tired of sitting in
• 19:14
  wondering and ruminating, and you're ready to take action,
• 19:17
  then I highly recommend that you book a call in order to work
• 19:20
  together and to do coaching. And more of information will
• 19:23
  come up on that. But I do private and group
• 19:25
  coaching. And I think it's just really,
• 19:26
  really time for us to make a movement where we are choosing
• 19:29
  ourselves of what it is that we want first themselves.
• 19:32
  This year has been a radical year when it comes to the women
• 19:35
  that I've worked with and the big changes that they have
• 19:36
  coming for themselves. We have women who are all over
• 19:40
  the gamut, building their own businesses to go full time in
• 19:43
  them, building their side businesses, moving out of the
• 19:45
  country into getting new remote jobs.
• 19:48
  Those who are pivoting to brand new industries, those who are
• 19:51
  moving within, you know, the US but moving to brand new cities,
• 19:55
  those who are stepping into leadership roles, doubling their
• 19:58
  income, getting 30K plus salary increases like they are taking.
• 20:02
  Charge and so I just hope that you're going to be a part of
• 20:05
  this too. And then if you've been
• 20:06
  listening and ruminating and going episode or episode of the
• 20:10
  podcast, like that's super helpful.
• 20:11
  But remember, research is just keeping you safe of where you
• 20:15
  are. It's time to take a step
• 20:16
  forward. So anywho, that's what I have
• 20:19
  for today and hopefully I will talk to you soon and I'll catch
• 20:24
  you on the next episode.