Latest / Dear Chelsea / It’s Me or The Dog with Madelaine Petsch
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
- 0:01Speaker 1: on sale. It's called the Heighth and Mighty Tour. I
- 0:05Speaker 1: will be starting debuting my new material in February of
- 0:09Speaker 1: next year, so I'm coming to Washington, d c Norfolk, Virginia, Madison, Wisconsin, Milwaukee, Wisconsin, Detroit, Michigan, Cleveland, Columbus,
- 0:19Speaker 1: and Cincinnati, Ohio, Denver, Colorado, Portland, Maine, Providence, Rhode Island, Springfield, Massachusetts, Chicago,
- 0:27Speaker 1: of Course, Indianapolis, Indiana, Louisville, Kentucky, Albuquerque, Masa, Arizona, Kansas City, Missouri,
- 0:34Speaker 1: Saint Louis, Missouri, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Nashville, Tennessee, Charlotte, North Carolina, Durham,
- 0:41Speaker 1: North of Carolina, Saratoga, California, Monterey, California, Modesto, California, and
- 0:48Speaker 1: port Chester, New York, Boston, Massachusetts, Portland, Oregon, and Seattle, Washington.
- 0:55Speaker 1: I will be touring from February through June. Those are
- 0:59Speaker 1: the cities that I'm in. Pre sales started last week,
- 1:01Speaker 1: so tickets are flying. I haven't added second shows yet,
- 1:04Speaker 1: but we probably will be to some of these. So
- 1:07Speaker 1: go get your tickets now if you want good seats
- 1:10Speaker 1: and you want to come see me perform. I will
- 1:12Speaker 1: be on the High and Mighty tour. Oh what a
- 1:15Speaker 1: good little beefer you are.
- 1:16Speaker 2: Hi, Madelaine, it's nice to meet you. Hi.
- 1:20Speaker 1: Madeleine has some projects coming out, you guys. The Strangers
- 1:23Speaker 1: Chapter two, which is a horror movie, hits theater September
- 1:26Speaker 1: twenty six, and then she has a rom com called
- 1:29Speaker 1: Maintenance Required, which hits Amazon on October eighth. They are
- 1:33Speaker 1: both now out. So I read that you grew up
- 1:37Speaker 1: in South Africa and Washington State.
- 1:41Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean that's term such an African so we
- 1:43Speaker 3: would go back, but I was primarily in Washington. It's
- 1:46Speaker 3: really interesting how interviews can skew the reality of my
- 1:49Speaker 3: life so much.
- 1:51Speaker 1: So basically all interviews get skewed, and then they like
- 1:54Speaker 1: I don't I talk about being child free, and people
- 1:56Speaker 1: are like.
- 1:57Speaker 2: Chelsea Handler hates children.
- 2:00Speaker 1: Talk about not wanting like I talk about not wanting
- 2:02Speaker 1: to be married, and be like Chelsea Handler hates men,
- 2:05Speaker 1: which is closer to the truth than hating children. But
- 2:08Speaker 1: I don't hate anyone. I don't have the energy to hate.
- 2:11Speaker 2: But I hear you what you're saying.
- 2:13Speaker 1: So you probably were interviewed several times and told them
- 2:17Speaker 1: that your parents are from South Africa and people are
- 2:19Speaker 1: like she commuted on the concord, the one that goes
- 2:22Speaker 1: straight from Joannasburg seventies Johannasburg to Olympia, Washington.
- 2:28Speaker 3: Yeah, actually no, I'd go back. I would go back
- 2:31Speaker 3: in the summer and in the winter, so twice a
- 2:33Speaker 3: year we'd go back and see my whole family, because
- 2:35Speaker 3: my entire extended family is there. But I would see
- 2:37Speaker 3: the primary part of my life and the formative years
- 2:40Speaker 3: were spent in Washington.
- 2:42Speaker 2: Okay, cute I had.
- 2:43Speaker 1: I dated a South African once and then he bought
- 2:46Speaker 1: me this very fancy pair. This was like when I
- 2:49Speaker 1: was in my twenties and I was waitressing and he
- 2:51Speaker 1: bought me this very fancy pair of earrings.
- 2:53Speaker 2: And then I realized, oh, it's time to break up.
- 2:55Speaker 4: Was it a blood diamond?
- 2:56Speaker 2: It was because it was a blood.
- 2:58Speaker 3: Diamond, that was why it was.
- 3:00Speaker 2: It was just obvious that he and I were on
- 3:01Speaker 2: different pages. If he were buying me jewelry, do you
- 3:03Speaker 2: know what I mean?
- 3:04Speaker 3: I would never say no the jewelry, though, I like,
- 3:07Speaker 3: buy me more before I break up.
- 3:09Speaker 1: I would because you know what, Madeline, we can both
- 3:11Speaker 1: buy ourselves jewelry, So why who cares? You know what
- 3:14Speaker 1: I mean, that's what I like to focus on. What
- 3:16Speaker 1: I need from a man is not jewelry, and the
- 3:18Speaker 1: jewelry that.
- 3:19Speaker 4: A man is picking is like probably not what you'd
- 3:21Speaker 4: pick for yourself a lot of times.
- 3:22Speaker 1: What do you think the biggest cultural differences are between say,
- 3:26Speaker 1: South Africa and the States.
- 3:29Speaker 3: That's such an interesting question. I think probably.
- 3:31Speaker 2: Manners great fucking answer.
- 3:37Speaker 3: I hate to say that, but people are a lot
- 3:39Speaker 3: more polite in South Africa and like kind to people
- 3:41Speaker 3: they don't know. I feel like people are more of
- 3:44Speaker 3: social awareness, right.
- 3:45Speaker 1: I feel like people are a lot more polite in
- 3:48Speaker 1: many places outside of America, not just South Africa. I
- 3:51Speaker 1: think it's an American problem. But yes, I think manners
- 3:55Speaker 1: is a great thing to bring up.
- 3:56Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean Cape Town? Are you from Cape Town?
- 3:58Speaker 3: Durban?
- 3:59Speaker 2: Oh? Okay?
- 4:01Speaker 5: Oh?
- 4:01Speaker 1: I had a safari guide from Durban? So have you've
- 4:04Speaker 1: I bet you've been on a couple of safaris.
- 4:07Speaker 3: I certainly have Kruger National Park you know it?
- 4:09Speaker 6: Oh?
- 4:10Speaker 1: Yeah, I love safaris. That's my dream vacation, minus the snakes.
- 4:14Speaker 3: I didn't have any. I've never had a bad experience
- 4:16Speaker 3: with a snake before.
- 4:18Speaker 1: I've never had like a snake attack me, but I
- 4:20Speaker 1: believe they are out to get me. And when I
- 4:23Speaker 1: see them, my reaction is like, I have a phobia.
- 4:26Speaker 2: It's not it's more than a fear.
- 4:28Speaker 1: It's a phobia, like I will freak out and I
- 4:30Speaker 1: start to like, we saw one of those steaks with
- 4:33Speaker 1: their heads up this last time we.
- 4:34Speaker 2: Were on safari, which situation.
- 4:36Speaker 1: It wasn't a cobra, it's a oh, it was like
- 4:39Speaker 1: asp it was something that I it was the most
- 4:41Speaker 1: dangerous snake that they have in Kenya.
- 4:44Speaker 2: I saw it out of the corner of my eye.
- 4:45Speaker 2: I was like, what was that.
- 4:46Speaker 1: They're like nothing and we were in the jeep luckily,
- 4:48Speaker 1: but they're the ones that could poison you by with
- 4:50Speaker 1: their spit and they could get in your eyes.
- 4:52Speaker 3: I don't think I want to go on a safari
- 4:53Speaker 3: with you.
- 4:54Speaker 2: I I do.
- 4:55Speaker 1: I do have bad luck, although I haven't had one
- 4:57Speaker 1: chase me. Knock on wood. Let's not even talk about
- 4:59Speaker 1: such things. Okay, So tell me about your two projects.
- 5:02Speaker 1: They're very opposite. One's a horror movie, one's a romantic comedy.
- 5:05Speaker 1: What do you have a preference I know this is
- 5:07Speaker 1: a sequel Stranger's Chapter.
- 5:09Speaker 3: Two, Pence, I think I love them both. You can't
- 5:11Speaker 3: take between your children. The Strangers chapter two is like,
- 5:16Speaker 3: it's it's honestly my baby, because I shot all three
- 5:19Speaker 3: at once in Slovakia three or four years ago, and
- 5:22Speaker 3: I've been editing them. By the way, I love Slovakia.
- 5:25Speaker 2: What's going on in Slovakia.
- 5:27Speaker 3: I was terrified to go because I just didn't know
- 5:30Speaker 3: anything about it, and it's so far away. I felt
- 5:31Speaker 3: like I was being shipped off to never be seen again.
- 5:33Speaker 3: But I fell in love with Bronislava. I would go
- 5:35Speaker 3: shoot their time and time again.
- 5:37Speaker 2: Where is Slovakia geographically.
- 5:40Speaker 3: Well, it used to be Czechoslovakia, so it's right next
- 5:43Speaker 3: to Austria and the Czech Republic.
- 5:46Speaker 2: Oh, so that's not that far away. It's just eastern Europe.
- 5:49Speaker 4: Yeah, one says the Czech Republic is gorgeous.
- 5:51Speaker 2: Chech Republic is gorgeous.
- 5:53Speaker 1: That's where Prague is, And so Slovakia is a newer
- 5:56Speaker 1: country than the other one. Well, Czech Republic is a
- 5:59Speaker 1: newer country too, because it used to be Czechoslovakia. It's
- 6:02Speaker 1: all Slovakia. So you had a great time there. What's
- 6:05Speaker 1: it like?
- 6:06Speaker 2: What's the vibe there? Is it a big city where
- 6:09Speaker 2: you shooting in the country.
- 6:10Speaker 3: We were shooting out in the middle of nowhere. It
- 6:12Speaker 3: was like two hours from broad Aslava. But they've got
- 6:15Speaker 3: a city center that's really sweet and there's a lot
- 6:17Speaker 3: of things to do. And then there's like lots of
- 6:19Speaker 3: lots of lots of land and abandoned hospitals and things
- 6:23Speaker 3: like that, which is why we shot there, right We
- 6:25Speaker 3: needed some abandoned hospitals.
- 6:26Speaker 1: Right right, It sounds actually like a place Slovakia sounds
- 6:30Speaker 1: like a place that has a lot of abandoned hospitals.
- 6:33Speaker 3: Well, there you go, and it does can confirm.
- 6:35Speaker 4: So when you're like crawling into the freezer beds in
- 6:39Speaker 4: the morgue, is that like a real one?
- 6:41Speaker 3: Okay? So actually I I am a bit of a
- 6:45Speaker 3: germopope and I had a bit of a freak out.
- 6:46Speaker 3: There are certain things that I can do. I'm like,
- 6:49Speaker 3: you want me to run down this hallway hurt myself. Fine,
- 6:52Speaker 3: I'm not getting into a real morg drawer. That feels
- 6:54Speaker 3: like we're a drawa line. It's really a dead body
- 6:56Speaker 3: in there. At one point, I just can't they actually
- 6:59Speaker 3: built the Morgue, okay, god okay, and that they built
- 7:01Speaker 3: it in the hospital, which is such a crazy thing
- 7:03Speaker 3: to think about. But they built the morg allegedly. Actually
- 7:06Speaker 3: you know what they could have actually liked to make.
- 7:08Speaker 4: They just told you they did and you're like crawling
- 7:10Speaker 4: in there with the old dead Boddy. You now you're
- 7:12Speaker 4: a huge fan of horror, right, like you loved the
- 7:15Speaker 4: original Strangers with the love Tyler to me because that movie,
- 7:20Speaker 4: you know, and the Strangers chapter one, two and three
- 7:22Speaker 4: that you're talking about now, like this is home invasion
- 7:25Speaker 4: that we're talking about. To me, that's kind of like
- 7:27Speaker 4: the scariest possible thing because like slashers, you know whatever,
- 7:31Speaker 4: a guy chasing you through the what like that can
- 7:32Speaker 4: kind of happen in any movie. But you think about
- 7:34Speaker 4: like someone coming into your home and it's just random.
- 7:37Speaker 4: That to me is the most terrifying thing. So tell
- 7:39Speaker 4: me it. Tell us about your love of horror.
- 7:41Speaker 3: Well, it started at a young age. I was forced
- 7:44Speaker 3: to watch it when I was like seven, and it
- 7:46Speaker 3: terrified me, and I was like, I'm going to conquer this.
- 7:48Speaker 3: If it's the last thing I do, I'm going to
- 7:50Speaker 3: be scared again by a film No, and then I
- 7:52Speaker 3: just fell in love with it. I'm not even sure why,
- 7:54Speaker 3: but I think I think horror, similarly to like foreign filmmaking,
- 7:58Speaker 3: is not so risk averse. I think every other genre
- 8:00Speaker 3: in American cinema is very risk averse, and so I
- 8:02Speaker 3: think you could take a lot more risk to have
- 8:04Speaker 3: a lot more fun in horror. It's a lot more
- 8:06Speaker 3: genre bending and rule bending, and probably why I love
- 8:09Speaker 3: it so much.
- 8:09Speaker 1: Honestly, that's a good point though, because you can make
- 8:12Speaker 1: it like campy, you can make it super heightened, or
- 8:15Speaker 1: you could make it a very nuanced horror. So that's
- 8:17Speaker 1: actually a good point that you make that I hadn't
- 8:19Speaker 1: thought about.
- 8:20Speaker 4: Yeah, were you a horror person?
- 8:22Speaker 1: I don't typically love horror movies. I don't like to
- 8:25Speaker 1: be fake scared, you know what I mean. And I
- 8:28Speaker 1: also I don't like violence, but horror is a different
- 8:32Speaker 1: category to violence. I think horror is like you're supposed
- 8:36Speaker 1: to be scared, Like, I don't love that feeling.
- 8:38Speaker 2: It's not my favorite genre, but I respect it.
- 8:41Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard to do. I mean, it's I always say,
- 8:45Speaker 3: I feel like fear is the only the only emotion
- 8:48Speaker 3: you can't really manufacture because your body doesn't know the
- 8:51Speaker 3: difference with fear. So I was actually in fight or
- 8:54Speaker 3: flight the whole time I was shooting those movies. I
- 8:55Speaker 3: don't look back on it fondly by any means, but
- 8:58Speaker 3: I do love the movies very much.
- 9:00Speaker 4: Would you do a horror movie again, having like gone
- 9:03Speaker 4: through because especially shooting them concurrently, Like I know you said,
- 9:06Speaker 4: you know, one day you might be shooting a scene
- 9:09Speaker 4: from the first movie and the third movie, So would
- 9:11Speaker 4: you do that again in maybe a smaller scale with
- 9:14Speaker 4: a single film.
- 9:16Speaker 3: I definitely would never shoot three movies at once.
- 9:18Speaker 5: Again.
- 9:18Speaker 3: That well, I was, you know, you know me four
- 9:23Speaker 3: years ago. I can't talk to her now, but she
- 9:25Speaker 3: was like, this is a fun challenge. But yes, I
- 9:30Speaker 3: actually I love horror because again, it's like I truly
- 9:34Speaker 3: believe right now, the best movies that are being made
- 9:36Speaker 3: are horror because they're the only ones that are like different.
- 9:38Speaker 3: Everything else is so carving copy of something else. This
- 9:42Speaker 3: is actually like every script that I'm getting that's horror
- 9:44Speaker 3: is unique and different, and you can make them for
- 9:45Speaker 3: a small budget, so you can follow the filmmaker's real
- 9:48Speaker 3: vision and you're not arguing with the studio like it's
- 9:50Speaker 3: there's a lot more freedom and horror. I think yeah, And.
- 9:52Speaker 4: I think people are starting to realize that. You know,
- 9:55Speaker 4: of first, you can have your camp be in silly
- 9:56Speaker 4: horror movies, but to have a really good solid actor
- 10:01Speaker 4: in a horror film is what helps bring it to life.
- 10:05Speaker 4: You know, like I love a shlocky seventies one with
- 10:07Speaker 4: terrible acting.
- 10:07Speaker 1: But like now you're talking about Berry Catherine, You're talking
- 10:10Speaker 1: about porn right now.
- 10:11Speaker 2: I told you to stop talking about porn. It's always
- 10:13Speaker 2: an allegory that we're here for.
- 10:15Speaker 4: But like the emotions that you're bringing on screen, I
- 10:19Speaker 4: felt viscerally like they're very real. You are like crying
- 10:22Speaker 4: a lot of the time because you're being stalked. I
- 10:24Speaker 4: will say one thing you very much identified with in
- 10:27Speaker 4: The Strangers chapter two was there is a moment I
- 10:30Speaker 4: hope this is not too much of a spoiler, but
- 10:31Speaker 4: there is a moment that includes a wild bore question mark,
- 10:35Speaker 4: and there's a moment where you're actually like laying still
- 10:38Speaker 4: and get stepped on by the wild boar. And I
- 10:41Speaker 4: identified with that because that's literally exactly what happens with
- 10:45Speaker 4: my dog every single morning. She comes like stands on
- 10:48Speaker 4: my chest and is like sniffing my face seeing if
- 10:50Speaker 4: I'm awake.
- 10:51Speaker 2: So I think that's a lot different than a wild boar. First,
- 10:55Speaker 2: what you know, your fucking dog sniffing in my bedroom.
- 10:57Speaker 2: You're safe with that scene in that movie.
- 11:00Speaker 1: It's fucking scary, threatening me that it's time to yet, Madeleine.
- 11:03Speaker 1: I know you talk publicly, which I think is such
- 11:05Speaker 1: a nice service, especially for all your fans, and I
- 11:07Speaker 1: know you have like millions, twenty something million followers on
- 11:11Speaker 1: Instagram alone. You talk very openly about like stress, stressful
- 11:15Speaker 1: times in your life, panic attacks, therapy, like how you
- 11:18Speaker 1: calm yourself down, and this podcast we talk a ton
- 11:21Speaker 1: about that because our listeners are we have people who
- 11:24Speaker 1: call in which you'll see in a moment asking for advice.
- 11:26Speaker 2: But like, can you talk a little bit about that
- 11:29Speaker 2: and how.
- 11:29Speaker 1: You were able to find a way to kind of
- 11:31Speaker 1: soothe your nerves and the steps you took to get
- 11:34Speaker 1: to a place where you were able to identify that
- 11:36Speaker 1: there was even an issue in the first place.
- 11:39Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I grew up in a quite dysfunctional
- 11:41Speaker 3: home as a child, and so I think what I
- 11:44Speaker 3: it all felt normal as a kid and then I
- 11:46Speaker 3: moved to LA and I was alone, and everybody around
- 11:49Speaker 3: me wasn't experiencing that as much. The anxiety, the panic,
- 11:53Speaker 3: the kind of like I would catastrophize everything, everything was
- 11:56Speaker 3: the worst thing in the world. And that kind of
- 11:58Speaker 3: carried into probably in my early to mid twenties, and
- 12:02Speaker 3: during the pandemic actually was the impetus for me to
- 12:05Speaker 3: figure out what was wrong with me. And I got
- 12:07Speaker 3: my brain scammed. Wow, because like, there's got to be
- 12:10Speaker 3: something seriously wrong with me. And it was actually kind
- 12:12Speaker 3: of validated because he was like, oh, your copper. Your
- 12:15Speaker 3: body produces too much copper, so you have to do
- 12:16Speaker 3: this to help fix And it was like, Oh, my
- 12:18Speaker 3: body actually has something that is creating anxiety within me.
- 12:21Speaker 3: It was so validating to understand that at a real
- 12:25Speaker 3: molecular level.
- 12:26Speaker 4: Like a physiology.
- 12:26Speaker 3: That helped a lot. Yeah, Like it wasn't just like, yes,
- 12:30Speaker 3: of course I'm an anxious person, Like I don't know
- 12:31Speaker 3: if that's ever going to go away, but there are
- 12:33Speaker 3: tools I can have to fix that or to help
- 12:35Speaker 3: banage it. But there's actually also something that I can
- 12:38Speaker 3: do right now that makes me feel like, Okay, this
- 12:40Speaker 3: can help, And so I am on some like a
- 12:42Speaker 3: pretty good supplement regimen, and I also do weekly therapy.
- 12:45Speaker 3: I think talk therapy is the thing that changed everything
- 12:48Speaker 3: the most, though, honestly.
- 12:50Speaker 1: And did you have trouble finding a good therapist that
- 12:52Speaker 1: you connected with?
- 12:53Speaker 3: I've only ever had one. I've had the same one
- 12:55Speaker 3: for almost ten years.
- 12:56Speaker 2: So I guess the answer is no, you did not
- 12:58Speaker 2: have trouble to find it.
- 12:59Speaker 3: Actually, know what, Chelsea. When I first moved to LA
- 13:02Speaker 3: I did. I tried one other therapist, and I mean
- 13:05Speaker 3: it was the hokeiest thing. He was trying to like
- 13:07Speaker 3: hypnotize me on his couch and I was kind of
- 13:09Speaker 3: feeling bad because it didn't work, and so I acted
- 13:11Speaker 3: like I was hypnotized. Oh, I was like, maybe I
- 13:13Speaker 3: should just act like it's working.
- 13:14Speaker 1: That's an orgasm for a man, acting like therapy is
- 13:18Speaker 1: working when it's not hypnotism.
- 13:20Speaker 3: Especially, Yeah, it was for a man. Yeah, the things
- 13:23Speaker 3: we do.
- 13:23Speaker 4: But that's the thing is like anxiety can so often
- 13:26Speaker 4: be a physologically induced thing, and you know, people say,
- 13:30Speaker 4: you know, oh I don't want to go get treatment,
- 13:31Speaker 4: or like, oh I can manage it or whatever. But
- 13:33Speaker 4: like if you had a broken leg, you wouldn't say like, no,
- 13:35Speaker 4: I don't want to go to the doctor. And it's
- 13:36Speaker 4: really the same thing.
- 13:38Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 13:38Speaker 1: I remember the first time I ever had like that
- 13:40Speaker 1: kind of shaky leg syndrome thing, when I was on
- 13:43Speaker 1: stage talking.
- 13:44Speaker 2: The first time it happened.
- 13:45Speaker 1: Like the more conscientious you become of it, the more
- 13:48Speaker 1: it increases, and it gets worse and worse and worse,
- 13:50Speaker 1: and then it's in your head. You're like, fuck, I
- 13:52Speaker 1: can't stand up straight, like I'd stand up for a living,
- 13:54Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be able to stand up and talk.
- 13:56Speaker 2: And then I was like, oh, it's the heels. Let
- 13:58Speaker 2: me get rid of the heels.
- 13:59Speaker 1: And then I'd be in flat and then I'd I'd
- 14:00Speaker 1: be like and that was more stabilizing, but like, yeah,
- 14:03Speaker 1: it's not. You can't put a band aid on it.
- 14:05Speaker 1: You kind of have to get to the root of
- 14:06Speaker 1: the issue. And in the meantime, take a beta blocker
- 14:09Speaker 1: or anyone who's listening.
- 14:10Speaker 3: Kit or as a pick. You're in a panic attack,
- 14:12Speaker 3: call it a day. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, that
- 14:14Speaker 3: was my thing for a while.
- 14:15Speaker 2: So why was your family so dysfunctional?
- 14:18Speaker 3: I grew up with a father who uh uh, how
- 14:22Speaker 3: do I describe it. I don't want to like diagnose
- 14:24Speaker 3: him on a podcast, but he was very unpractable, atic
- 14:28Speaker 3: highs and lows all the time, and so I couldn't
- 14:30Speaker 3: really there was no consistency in my household as a child.
- 14:33Speaker 3: Uh huh, So it was there was a lot of
- 14:35Speaker 3: like questioning whether or not I was loved as a kid.
- 14:39Speaker 2: Okay, and what about your mom? Were you? Was your
- 14:41Speaker 2: mom in the house with you, guys?
- 14:43Speaker 5: Oh?
- 14:43Speaker 3: Yeah, she's the best ever, And I don't think i'd
- 14:45Speaker 3: be where I am today without her. She's like one
- 14:47Speaker 3: of those people who was meant to be a mom.
- 14:49Speaker 1: Yeah, that was where my mom was too. My mom
- 14:51Speaker 1: was so soft and sweet.
- 14:53Speaker 3: Which do you feel like? I have a question for you? Actually,
- 14:55Speaker 3: because I for the longest time sought I didn't want children,
- 14:58Speaker 3: and I feel like having a mom who was to
- 15:00Speaker 3: be a mom made me realize, like, or think that
- 15:03Speaker 3: I realized I don't feel that way, maybe I shouldn't
- 15:06Speaker 3: have kids. And now I've shifted now I actually want children.
- 15:09Speaker 3: But for the longest time, I think my mom being
- 15:11Speaker 3: such a good mom made me be like, oh, I
- 15:14Speaker 3: don't think I can live up to that.
- 15:15Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you bring up a good point because
- 15:17Speaker 1: I think that, yes, I'm one of six children.
- 15:20Speaker 2: How many siblings do you have? Just one?
- 15:22Speaker 1: Okay, So my mom was a mama bear like she
- 15:25Speaker 1: was like but not in a fierce like fierce way.
- 15:28Speaker 1: She just like loved us so much and she wanted
- 15:31Speaker 1: her like cubs around her. She wasn't really that interested
- 15:34Speaker 1: in our friends or our boyfriends. She tolerated those people
- 15:38Speaker 1: and she gave out love to them when they needed it.
- 15:40Speaker 1: Like I had a best friend from high school who
- 15:42Speaker 1: I grew up with, and she was like, your mom
- 15:43Speaker 1: was the first person who told me she loved me.
- 15:45Speaker 1: And I was like, oh my god, that's so my mom.
- 15:48Speaker 1: You know, that was so sweet of my mom. My
- 15:50Speaker 1: mom recognized at her house was pretty dysfunctional, as was mine.
- 15:53Speaker 1: I mean, I don't know anybody who grew up I
- 15:56Speaker 1: have some friends in LA that grew up here and
- 15:57Speaker 1: think they had normal childhoods, and I have to always
- 16:00Speaker 1: remind them, you don't.
- 16:01Speaker 2: You grew up in fucking Beverly Hills.
- 16:02Speaker 1: Yeah, you're relative, Like what's relative to you is not
- 16:06Speaker 1: relative to the rest of the world. And there's and
- 16:08Speaker 1: it's no wonder you still live here because you're living
- 16:10Speaker 1: in a fantasy.
- 16:10Speaker 2: World, you know, like that's not real life.
- 16:13Speaker 1: But yes, back to the question at hand, is my
- 16:15Speaker 1: mom was so loving and such a caretaker and such
- 16:18Speaker 1: a homemaker, Like she was always cooking for us.
- 16:21Speaker 2: There was always snacks.
- 16:22Speaker 1: When you got home from school at like three o'clock
- 16:24Speaker 1: in the afternoon, there'd be like a vat of macaroni
- 16:27Speaker 1: and cheese as a snack. And so it was like,
- 16:30Speaker 1: you know, her language was like food and comfort. And
- 16:34Speaker 1: we would go up to her room, you know, before
- 16:36Speaker 1: we went to bed and jump into bed with her
- 16:38Speaker 1: and like hope that we could. I would just always hope, oh,
- 16:41Speaker 1: please don't kick me out of the bed, like let
- 16:42Speaker 1: me sleep in the bed, you know, like like that's
- 16:45Speaker 1: how cozy. And I used to call her chunky because
- 16:47Speaker 1: she was junkie and she had little flaps of skin
- 16:50Speaker 1: like extra meat packets everywhere, and I just loved her
- 16:53Speaker 1: like body but she was but it definitely was. It's
- 16:57Speaker 1: so antithetical to how I saw my life going. So
- 17:02Speaker 1: that is a great thing to bring up. It's like
- 17:04Speaker 1: sometimes when you look at your own mother and you
- 17:06Speaker 1: realize how good at bothering they are, You're like Wow,
- 17:08Speaker 1: I won't be able to hold a cancel to that.
- 17:10Speaker 1: And then conversely, the opposite was true. She didn't have
- 17:12Speaker 1: a lot of independence, she didn't have a lot of
- 17:14Speaker 1: her own money, she didn't have anything in her name,
- 17:17Speaker 1: you know, my dad ran the show. But I looked
- 17:19Speaker 1: at that like, I don't want that either.
- 17:21Speaker 3: Right, right, that's so interesting. I never thought about like that.
- 17:24Speaker 3: I actually recently, just probably in the last eight months
- 17:27Speaker 3: or a year, decided I want to be a mom.
- 17:28Speaker 3: For the longest time, I think, I just like got
- 17:29Speaker 3: so annoyed that society tells you as a woman your
- 17:32Speaker 3: only real purpose is to have children that I was like,
- 17:35Speaker 3: go fuck yourself, Like that's not how I feel. And
- 17:37Speaker 3: then I was like, wait, am I just going just
- 17:38Speaker 3: to be a contrarian, Like, let me really check in
- 17:40Speaker 3: with myself in therapy and see if I really feel
- 17:42Speaker 3: that maternal instinct. And I just there was one day
- 17:45Speaker 3: I had therapy and I was like, I just want
- 17:47Speaker 3: to have a child with my best friend. That would
- 17:49Speaker 3: be so fun. And she goes, hey, wait, you can, yeah,
- 17:52Speaker 3: you can pick who you have your child with. And
- 17:54Speaker 3: that's when I was.
- 17:54Speaker 1: Like, Oh, it's so funny because you're saying child and
- 17:57Speaker 1: it sounds like chow. And I have a chow chaw
- 18:00Speaker 1: in here, and that's how I feel. I wanted a
- 18:02Speaker 1: chow too. That's the only kind of dog I get,
- 18:05Speaker 1: or chow chows. You rescue animals too, I do. Yeah,
- 18:08Speaker 1: how many do you have?
- 18:10Speaker 3: I have one little girl, Olive right, Olive.
- 18:14Speaker 4: Yeah, I've seen a couple of pictures. It's very cute.
- 18:16Speaker 3: I have her little teeth tattooed on my arm.
- 18:19Speaker 4: And you have at with your like something your mom says, too, right,
- 18:22Speaker 4: my darling.
- 18:22Speaker 3: I do. I have bruises there from pole dancing, but
- 18:25Speaker 3: here it is.
- 18:26Speaker 2: Are you pull dancing on the regular?
- 18:28Speaker 3: Yeah? I did it for a movie that I just
- 18:30Speaker 3: wrapped like four or five days ago.
- 18:31Speaker 2: How was it to learn pole dancing?
- 18:34Speaker 3: Well, you know, I am anemic, so I bruised a lot.
- 18:38Speaker 3: But outside of that, it's so much fun. I'm gonna
- 18:40Speaker 3: keep doing it out of the movie.
- 18:42Speaker 2: And it's a good exercise.
- 18:43Speaker 3: People say, beyond it's it's really fucking hard. I had
- 18:47Speaker 3: no idea how much arm strength you need. In my head,
- 18:50Speaker 3: it makes sense to need life strength, but it's mostly
- 18:52Speaker 3: your arms.
- 18:53Speaker 4: Yeah, And it's like as women that's something we have
- 18:55Speaker 4: to like work on to have the upper body strength.
- 18:57Speaker 4: Do you ever go to Jumbo's clown room and just
- 18:59Speaker 4: like see the feets of strength?
- 19:00Speaker 3: Absolutely?
- 19:02Speaker 4: I love my favorite. It's my favorite. We used to
- 19:04Speaker 4: live on the same block as that actually, so we
- 19:06Speaker 4: went hevery what a for you? And my husband never
- 19:11Speaker 4: wanted to go. I was just like, I want to
- 19:13Speaker 4: go and like cheer for women in bikinis doing feats
- 19:15Speaker 4: of strength, like it's so.
- 19:16Speaker 3: Fun incredible when they're hanging upside down and you're like, hey,
- 19:19Speaker 3: this is crazy. Yeah, how are you even up there?
- 19:22Speaker 2: So Madeleine, you love what you do.
- 19:24Speaker 1: You can tell that you love what you do, right,
- 19:26Speaker 1: you feel very pad like you feel you must feel
- 19:28Speaker 1: very grateful to have such a successful career at such
- 19:31Speaker 1: a young age, Right I do?
- 19:34Speaker 3: Yeah, I really. I think there's nothing else in the
- 19:35Speaker 3: world to be happy to do.
- 19:36Speaker 1: I think that's how you get into this business is
- 19:38Speaker 1: when everything else just seems on reason. Like I tried
- 19:41Speaker 1: to be a temp and they were like, you're fired.
- 19:44Speaker 1: I fig I got fired from every single job I
- 19:46Speaker 1: every day. And my sister's like, that's because you can't
- 19:48Speaker 1: do anything.
- 19:48Speaker 2: But be in this business.
- 19:50Speaker 1: Like you're you're a comedian, you're a voice, Like you
- 19:52Speaker 1: want to talk, and that's really all I want to
- 19:54Speaker 1: do is talk. Luckily, I've made a career out of talking,
- 19:59Speaker 1: and I never realized that until I was writing my
- 20:01Speaker 1: last book, and I was like, oh my god, how
- 20:02Speaker 1: lucky are we to get to do the thing that
- 20:03Speaker 1: we want to do? And also, you make such a
- 20:06Speaker 1: good living doing what you want to do. I used
- 20:08Speaker 1: to remember watching baseball players like get traded and I'd
- 20:11Speaker 1: be like so upset at their disloyalty to their original team, like.
- 20:15Speaker 2: How could you trade?
- 20:16Speaker 1: How could you go to the from the Boston Red
- 20:18Speaker 1: Sox to the Yankees, Like doesn't any loyalty matter? And
- 20:22Speaker 1: I'm like, you're already making crazy money doing the thing you.
- 20:25Speaker 2: Love to do the most.
- 20:27Speaker 1: Like some people have to work at a job they
- 20:29Speaker 1: fucking hate their whole life and they don't get to
- 20:31Speaker 1: make Like those people deserve to make the big money,
- 20:33Speaker 1: and the people who get to do what they love
- 20:36Speaker 1: should just be able to get by.
- 20:37Speaker 2: That's how I feel about it.
- 20:39Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not trying to give away, you know,
- 20:40Speaker 1: my good blessings, but that's it doesn't it's all upside down.
- 20:45Speaker 3: And just kind of interesting, isn't it.
- 20:47Speaker 2: Yeah, I think. So we're going to take a break
- 20:49Speaker 2: and we'll be right back with Madeline Pitch and we're
- 20:56Speaker 2: back with Madelane. Okay, so when do you got Catherine.
- 21:00Speaker 4: We've got some advice questions.
- 21:01Speaker 1: People call on for advice and then we give it
- 21:03Speaker 1: to them. You seem very mature that you're going to
- 21:05Speaker 1: be good at this. You've bid to therapy or all decks.
- 21:08Speaker 1: All of our ducks are in a row lack, and
- 21:10Speaker 1: like feel.
- 21:11Speaker 4: Free to pull from experiences like friends have had, and
- 21:14Speaker 4: you know, things just that you've learned in the world.
- 21:16Speaker 4: It doesn't all have to be from your own experience.
- 21:17Speaker 4: So our first question is about dating a bad Texter.
- 21:21Speaker 4: So our first question comes from Jack. This one's just
- 21:24Speaker 4: an email. He says, Dear Chelsea, I'm a twenty six
- 21:27Speaker 4: year old gay man, single and dating in NYC. About
- 21:30Speaker 4: a month ago, I went on a hinge date and
- 21:32Speaker 4: we really hit it off. He seemed to check a
- 21:34Speaker 4: lot of the boxes since then, and we've gone on
- 21:36Speaker 4: about five dates. Every time we get together, the conversation
- 21:39Speaker 4: is endless and he seems very into me. We have
- 21:42Speaker 4: great sexual chemistry as well, and every time we part
- 21:44Speaker 4: weighs we try to set another date. It's been a
- 21:46Speaker 4: while since I've gone this long talking to someone. Well,
- 21:49Speaker 4: everything is going well. The butt here is that the
- 21:52Speaker 4: man is an awful texter. During the week text can
- 21:55Speaker 4: be pretty sporadic, and sometimes during weekends I'll go a
- 21:58Speaker 4: few days without hearing from him. When I lightly joke
- 22:01Speaker 4: about it, he says, sorry, I'm a bad text and
- 22:03Speaker 4: have been super busy. I personally can be a bad
- 22:06Speaker 4: text for myself and also do not like to look
- 22:08Speaker 4: at my phone too much if I'm with other people
- 22:10Speaker 4: and having a good time. But I'm excited about this
- 22:12Speaker 4: prospect and would like for it to keep moving forward.
- 22:15Speaker 4: I worry that not talking with this guy more often
- 22:17Speaker 4: might cause this to fall through the cracks. I feel
- 22:20Speaker 4: like I'm walking a fine line of not trying to
- 22:21Speaker 4: seem too available or too invested since it's only been
- 22:24Speaker 4: about a month. But I also don't want him to
- 22:26Speaker 4: think I don't care, because, like I said, I don't
- 22:28Speaker 4: want to keep this moving in a positive direction.
- 22:30Speaker 1: Any thoughts, Jack, I think some people just really are
- 22:33Speaker 1: bad at texting, Like I was on this guy's I
- 22:37Speaker 1: was vacationing at this guy's house, and I sent him
- 22:39Speaker 1: this beautiful text, like, well, I thought it was beautiful.
- 22:42Speaker 1: I was like, thank you so much. Your house is
- 22:44Speaker 1: so beautiful, your staff is so beautiful, like just going
- 22:46Speaker 1: on and on like a normal thank you, you know,
- 22:49Speaker 1: And it was almost two paragraphs long, and he wrote
- 22:51Speaker 1: back welcome, and I'm like god, I'm like, what did
- 22:54Speaker 1: I do? Like maybe hates me? And then like two
- 22:57Speaker 1: weeks later he invited me to something else. Some people
- 22:59Speaker 1: just don't communicate like that. I don't know what you
- 23:02Speaker 1: do about that. What do you think, Madeline?
- 23:04Speaker 3: I actually think it's a green flag off someone's bad
- 23:06Speaker 3: at texting. Ooh okay, I'm about a hot take. I
- 23:10Speaker 3: like the idea of somebody not being so obsessed with
- 23:12Speaker 3: their phone.
- 23:13Speaker 7: I don't.
- 23:13Speaker 3: I had this like spiritual awakening recently where it's like
- 23:16Speaker 3: this is not communication, Like nothing about this is connection
- 23:19Speaker 3: and communication. Like as long as you're in person, you've
- 23:22Speaker 3: got a good thing going and you feel like somebody
- 23:23Speaker 3: is trustworthy and you can tell them how you feel,
- 23:26Speaker 3: that's kind of all that matters. And if it falls
- 23:28Speaker 3: through the cracks because you guys aren't texting enough, then
- 23:30Speaker 3: that's just not your person.
- 23:32Speaker 1: Yeah, I also don't think you should let it fall
- 23:34Speaker 1: through the like you shouldn't have the mindset that it's
- 23:36Speaker 1: going to fall through the cracks because of his because
- 23:39Speaker 1: of his lack of interest in texting. While it annoys you,
- 23:41Speaker 1: it is, like she just said, there are good points too,
- 23:45Speaker 1: like not having somebody addicted to their phone and not
- 23:47Speaker 1: having someone And some people also don't feel confident in
- 23:50Speaker 1: their texting abilities, right, Like I see that with some people,
- 23:53Speaker 1: like they don't know, you know, things get lost in translation.
- 23:56Speaker 1: And I do think our phones have hijacked our lives,
- 23:58Speaker 1: as you know, as we are learning and have learned
- 24:01Speaker 1: for the last ten years. So that's not a deal
- 24:04Speaker 1: breaker in my opinion. I think you should just like
- 24:06Speaker 1: work around that and reset your expectations about what you
- 24:10Speaker 1: want from the relationship. It doesn't really texting doesn't keep
- 24:12Speaker 1: a relationship alive.
- 24:14Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, some people have a different vibe when
- 24:16Speaker 4: they're texting than in person. Like I know one of
- 24:19Speaker 4: my girlfriends she is now married to this woman, but
- 24:22Speaker 4: her now wife was like, yeah when we first were texting,
- 24:24Speaker 4: Like she was oddly formal with texting, which is sort
- 24:27Speaker 4: of a language like, she and I use where it
- 24:29Speaker 4: was like to be a little funny. We use very
- 24:31Speaker 4: formal language and texting, and she was like I thought
- 24:33Speaker 4: she was gonna be kind of weird, and then like
- 24:34Speaker 4: obviously they hit it often. You know are in love
- 24:37Speaker 4: and married now. But I do have one more question
- 24:39Speaker 4: for you about this. So I've heard that amongst people
- 24:44Speaker 4: your age, there is a phenomenon of guys, especially using
- 24:49Speaker 4: chat GPT to like craft their text responses. Have you
- 24:53Speaker 4: or any friends experienced this?
- 24:57Speaker 3: My best friend she's a chat to be for everyone.
- 25:00Speaker 3: Oh yeah, so actually like input texts and be like
- 25:04Speaker 3: what does this mean? How should I respond? It's really
- 25:09Speaker 3: interesting to watch.
- 25:11Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 25:11Speaker 1: Yeah, We'll tell your friend every time she uses chat GPT,
- 25:14Speaker 1: she's killing about ten water buffalo because every time we
- 25:18Speaker 1: use chat Gypt it is like you have to go
- 25:20Speaker 1: to it goes to a lithium farm. They have these
- 25:22Speaker 1: huge battery operated farms that are providing all the energy
- 25:26Speaker 1: resources that we need. So it's terrible for the environment,
- 25:29Speaker 1: which is something they never fucking talk about. As soon
- 25:31Speaker 1: as I heard that, I'm like, oh my god, I'm
- 25:33Speaker 1: not ever going to use it.
- 25:34Speaker 3: But probably never heard that.
- 25:37Speaker 1: I'll chat GPT how bad using chat GPT was for
- 25:41Speaker 1: the environment, and it gave me a comprehensive response about
- 25:44Speaker 1: why it is so bad. But ay, I on another
- 25:47Speaker 1: note about talking about guys who would make up like
- 25:49Speaker 1: text or consult chat for like how to talk to
- 25:52Speaker 1: a woman, talking about in cells, like I was at
- 25:55Speaker 1: this thing the other night and this guy was telling me.
- 25:58Speaker 1: I was at the dinner and this guy was telling
- 25:59Speaker 1: me that he's in the tech world.
- 26:01Speaker 2: He's in AI.
- 26:02Speaker 1: He's one of these investors in one of these AI groups,
- 26:04Speaker 1: and he was delineating all the you know, the differences
- 26:06Speaker 1: between all of the AI platforms like GROC and chat,
- 26:11Speaker 1: and so he was saying that, you know, it's only
- 26:14Speaker 1: a matter of like a month or two before we're
- 26:16Speaker 1: going to have our own robots that are going to
- 26:18Speaker 1: be available to like you know, the first wave of robots,
- 26:21Speaker 1: and that men are going to be able to customize.
- 26:25Speaker 1: Did I already tell you this or that men aren't
- 26:28Speaker 1: going to be able to as will women be able
- 26:30Speaker 1: to customize the type of person they want as like
- 26:33Speaker 1: a lover or an assistant. Like I could say, oh,
- 26:36Speaker 1: I want some I want someone with red hair, and
- 26:38Speaker 1: I want somebody who doesn't talk back, And I want
- 26:40Speaker 1: somebody who's really good at making Mexican food, and I
- 26:44Speaker 1: also want somebody who's going to also be really good
- 26:46Speaker 1: with the dogs. Like you can basically customize your person.
- 26:49Speaker 1: They can have a working vagina so you can have
- 26:52Speaker 1: sex with your robot. And I was like, okay, well, listen,
- 26:55Speaker 1: as a person, I go, that's something he goes, every
- 26:58Speaker 1: guy is going to want to do that. Who doesn't, like,
- 27:00Speaker 1: really know how to operate with women like that doesn't
- 27:03Speaker 1: And I'm like, yeah, but does human connection not count
- 27:06Speaker 1: for anything anymore? And he said, no, it does, but
- 27:09Speaker 1: only to the people that it matters to, because there's
- 27:11Speaker 1: so many in cell types of people now in the
- 27:14Speaker 1: world that don't have any communication because all they do is,
- 27:17Speaker 1: you know, stay on their phone or communicate via their phone.
- 27:20Speaker 1: But I was like, oh, I could design a robot
- 27:23Speaker 1: that's really good at skiing for the winter, that makes
- 27:25Speaker 1: me drinks when I'm done with skiing, that stretches me
- 27:28Speaker 1: in the morning so I can getting ready for my
- 27:31Speaker 1: skiing and then makes me dinner and then has sex
- 27:33Speaker 1: with me. And he can look like whatever I want
- 27:35Speaker 1: and come and appear as.
- 27:36Speaker 2: A real man.
- 27:37Speaker 1: And he's like, well, that's not going to be the
- 27:39Speaker 1: first wave, like you are going to be dealing with
- 27:42Speaker 1: a robot, but eventually you will be able to create
- 27:44Speaker 1: a person who has all the qualities you want.
- 27:47Speaker 2: And I thought, that is so fucking crazy.
- 27:50Speaker 4: It's so fucking crazy. I mean, I did see someone
- 27:52Speaker 4: on the street in West Hollywood yesterday with a robot dog,
- 27:55Speaker 4: So I mean, it's happening. It's already happened.
- 27:57Speaker 2: It is happening.
- 27:58Speaker 3: And they keep there's a movie companion everybody here needs
- 28:00Speaker 3: to watch clearly, And.
- 28:01Speaker 2: What was the movie with Scarlett Johansson? What was that
- 28:04Speaker 2: for her? Yeah, that's it too.
- 28:08Speaker 3: It's literally what you're talking about.
- 28:10Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, And we've basically made movies to give everybody
- 28:14Speaker 1: ideas about how to make this a reality. Like everything
- 28:16Speaker 1: we're turning into the terminator because we Yeah.
- 28:19Speaker 4: Well I read an article about this recently too. Apparently
- 28:21Speaker 4: a lot of like teens, like young teens, like their
- 28:24Speaker 4: first romantic relationships are with AI, Like they're like giving
- 28:29Speaker 4: it a name and it's their boyfriend and they like
- 28:31Speaker 4: check in after school. I mean, I'm so it's dark.
- 28:33Speaker 2: I'm so I just hope that I'm dead before all
- 28:36Speaker 2: of this is. It takes charge. I can't have months.
- 28:39Speaker 2: I can't take any more changes. I can't take this technology.
- 28:43Speaker 2: It's too much. Maybe AI can finish my house.
- 28:46Speaker 3: Oh there you go.
- 28:47Speaker 4: There, well, Alyssa writes in with a question that hopefully
- 28:52Speaker 4: you both will be able to help with. She says,
- 28:55Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea, I love the podcast and I look forward
- 28:57Speaker 4: to listening every week. I'm a longtime listener, but I've
- 29:00Speaker 4: never written in before, mostly because I always knew what
- 29:02Speaker 4: you would say and figured I should just get my
- 29:04Speaker 4: shit together. But this time I'm truly stuck. I've had
- 29:07Speaker 4: my dog since April of twenty twenty, and he was
- 29:09Speaker 4: my COVID baby. I was home with him twenty four
- 29:12Speaker 4: to seven for a year before going back into the office,
- 29:14Speaker 4: and ever since I got him, he's truly saved me
- 29:16Speaker 4: from the darkest moments in my life. I got him
- 29:19Speaker 4: just a couple months before I ended a ten year
- 29:21Speaker 4: toxic relationship with my high school sweetheart. He helped me
- 29:24Speaker 4: rediscover life for myself, got me out of bed on
- 29:26Speaker 4: my worst days, and reminded me that life is fun
- 29:29Speaker 4: and silly and joyful.
- 29:30Speaker 1: Because he all the responsibilities of a dog by the
- 29:33Speaker 1: way exactly.
- 29:35Speaker 4: He is my soul dog, and I don't know where
- 29:36Speaker 4: I'd be without him. As many dog owners are, I'm
- 29:40Speaker 4: obsessed with my baby. From April twenty twenty to March
- 29:42Speaker 4: twenty twenty four, he got to do everything with me.
- 29:45Speaker 4: We ran errands together, took drives, he slept with me.
- 29:48Speaker 4: He basically stayed by my hip at all times. Then
- 29:51Speaker 4: I met my now boyfriend, who is wonderful in so
- 29:53Speaker 4: many ways. We have so much in common and he
- 29:56Speaker 4: makes me laugh like no one else can. We have
- 29:58Speaker 4: such a good relationship, but he is isn't the biggest
- 30:00Speaker 4: fan of my dog or dogs in general, and some
- 30:03Speaker 4: days it makes me wonder if this is what I want?
- 30:05Speaker 4: Does that sound crazy? Am I choosing my dog over him?
- 30:08Speaker 4: When I say he isn't the biggest fan. Let me
- 30:10Speaker 4: be clear. He takes care of him, helps walk him
- 30:13Speaker 4: and feed him. He plays with him. But when I
- 30:15Speaker 4: met him, he asked if we could sleep without my dog.
- 30:18Speaker 4: I reluctantly agreed. But over time and now that he's
- 30:21Speaker 4: moved in, it has grown to my dog not being
- 30:23Speaker 4: in the bedroom often at all. I have a one
- 30:25Speaker 4: bedroom apartment, so there isn't anywhere to be other than
- 30:28Speaker 4: the living room or the bedroom when we're watching TV
- 30:30Speaker 4: before bed, or just hanging out or whatever he asks
- 30:33Speaker 4: for dog free time. It's gone from my dog having
- 30:36Speaker 4: my company twenty four to seven to about an hour
- 30:38Speaker 4: in the morning and an hour at night on weekends,
- 30:41Speaker 4: it's a bit more. I can tell my dog is
- 30:43Speaker 4: upset by this. He sits outside of the bedroom door
- 30:45Speaker 4: sometimes when I open the door, he's just waiting for me.
- 30:47Speaker 2: Oh.
- 30:48Speaker 4: It breaks my heart because I love my dog more
- 30:50Speaker 4: than anything in life. I tried to talk to my
- 30:52Speaker 4: boyfriend about it before, and he told me that I
- 30:54Speaker 4: can spend time with my dog whenever I want to,
- 30:56Speaker 4: But it still sucks. As I'm writing this now, I
- 30:59Speaker 4: ask my boyfriend and if he could spend some time
- 31:01Speaker 4: with us in the bedroom as we watch TV, and
- 31:03Speaker 4: my boyfriend went out to hang out in his car
- 31:05Speaker 4: alone so I could be in bed with my dog.
- 31:07Speaker 4: He reassured me that nothing was wrong, but it hurts
- 31:10Speaker 4: me so much because I love them both and want
- 31:11Speaker 4: nothing more than to spend time together. For us all
- 31:14Speaker 4: to spend time together.
- 31:15Speaker 3: Melissa Alyssa let that man go.
- 31:20Speaker 1: The fuck he's in his car to avoid being around
- 31:23Speaker 1: your dog that.
- 31:24Speaker 2: Is fucked up.
- 31:26Speaker 5: Yeah, he also went to smoke a split, so that's why.
- 31:30Speaker 2: Thank god, thank god he had something to do with
- 31:32Speaker 2: the car.
- 31:33Speaker 1: I mean that doesn't I think, first of all, listen,
- 31:36Speaker 1: you can't your dog is innocent and defenseless, Like, it's
- 31:40Speaker 1: so unfair to be around something like that, Like it's
- 31:43Speaker 1: like being a bait with a baby and then abandoning
- 31:45Speaker 1: a baby. And I for everyone who's listening who doesn't
- 31:48Speaker 1: love dogs, I understand that dogs aren't the same as children,
- 31:51Speaker 1: but they're defenseless and innocent in the same way that
- 31:53Speaker 1: children are. And so to take away to like to
- 31:56Speaker 1: basically it's like punitive, like this guy setting the tone
- 32:01Speaker 1: for how much time you spend with your dog that
- 32:03Speaker 1: was pre existing. That was a pre existing relationship that
- 32:07Speaker 1: your boyfriend is now disrupting that in and of itself
- 32:10Speaker 1: is unacceptable in my opinion, Madeline, I feel like you
- 32:13Speaker 1: want to say something.
- 32:14Speaker 3: Look, I feel like if he was allergic and there
- 32:16Speaker 3: was an actual issue, then like there's something to be
- 32:18Speaker 3: discussed there, Like there's an actual bodily reason why I
- 32:21Speaker 3: don't trust people who don't like dog. I know there's
- 32:24Speaker 3: something like innately unless he was attacked by a dog
- 32:27Speaker 3: at one point, maybe there someone to discuss in therapy there,
- 32:29Speaker 3: Like I want to give him the benefit of the doubt,
- 32:30Speaker 3: but at the end of the day, like, that's your baby.
- 32:33Speaker 3: Get the guy out of there, Like who meets the
- 32:36Speaker 3: guy seriously?
- 32:37Speaker 2: And why can't the dog sleep on the floor in
- 32:39Speaker 2: the bedroom? Is that in a little dog bad?
- 32:42Speaker 3: We're on your side.
- 32:43Speaker 5: Yeah, I've tried that before, and honestly, more so than
- 32:47Speaker 5: him being in the room, I think the he asked
- 32:50Speaker 5: for it initially because I snore really loud and my
- 32:54Speaker 5: dog is a French bulldog, so he snores even louder,
- 32:57Speaker 5: and he just like can't take both snoring at the.
- 32:59Speaker 1: Stat then he should sleep on the floor outside in
- 33:02Speaker 1: the living room, you and your dog and snore together
- 33:04Speaker 1: in your bed like a couple, like the couple that
- 33:07Speaker 1: you are.
- 33:08Speaker 3: Yes, I agree.
- 33:09Speaker 5: And you know what's hypocritical too, is that like, for example,
- 33:12Speaker 5: I went on vacation a couple of months ago, he
- 33:14Speaker 5: watched him for me and he supped in the bedroom
- 33:17Speaker 5: with him every night. So it's not like he has
- 33:20Speaker 5: a problem with him. It's just that he constantly asks
- 33:23Speaker 5: for a dog free time, and I don't want to
- 33:26Speaker 5: be away from him like ever.
- 33:28Speaker 4: I want to be around with that.
- 33:29Speaker 1: All that's weird though, Like I did, I know, I
- 33:32Speaker 1: did a guy that wasn't a dog guy like I
- 33:34Speaker 1: could just tell. And I find that suspicious as well.
- 33:37Speaker 1: I find that to be suspicious. It's like if you
- 33:39Speaker 1: don't like dogs, like something's off. But I kind of
- 33:42Speaker 1: gave him a pass and he tried. He made the
- 33:44Speaker 1: effort with my dog. He would take my dog for walks,
- 33:47Speaker 1: like he actually made the effort. I'm like, well, that's
- 33:49Speaker 1: all he can do. I can't make somebody fall in
- 33:51Speaker 1: love with your dog, just like you can't make somebody
- 33:52Speaker 1: love your child like that you had you know before
- 33:54Speaker 1: you met them. So but I do think it's very
- 33:57Speaker 1: strange to ask for dog free times. That's like some
- 34:00Speaker 1: sort of controlling or weird issue. Something is off.
- 34:04Speaker 3: With that, especially if he's sleeping in bed with your
- 34:06Speaker 3: dog when you're not there. That feels more like a
- 34:08Speaker 3: control piece, like he doesn't want any other attention taken
- 34:11Speaker 3: away from him.
- 34:12Speaker 5: Yes, right, And it really is, honestly, mostly just on
- 34:16Speaker 5: the weekdays. On the weekends, this isn't a problem, Like
- 34:19Speaker 5: I don't even he doesn't most of your days, right.
- 34:23Speaker 4: I think he asked for a boundary. You tried that
- 34:26Speaker 4: boundary out, and it's time to readjust the boundary, like
- 34:29Speaker 4: it's not working for you. And I think that's kind
- 34:31Speaker 4: of the way to maybe start that conversation again. Like
- 34:34Speaker 4: if he needs to sleep in a dog but on
- 34:35Speaker 4: the floor, fine, but you know, dogs are our family
- 34:39Speaker 4: and if he can't be in your family, then like
- 34:42Speaker 4: it's time to reassess some things. But I think he
- 34:44Speaker 4: will actually acquiesce if you're just like, look, we got
- 34:46Speaker 4: to adjust this boundary. It's not working for me. I
- 34:49Speaker 4: need my dog. I need my dog in the room.
- 34:51Speaker 5: With me, Like I really, I have no other problems
- 34:54Speaker 5: with this man. Yeah, other than the fact that he
- 34:56Speaker 5: is not like as obsessed with my dog as I am.
- 34:59Speaker 5: And like I said, he takes care of him, like
- 35:02Speaker 5: he walks in and he feeds him. He even plays
- 35:04Speaker 5: with him and stuff. It's just like I said, this
- 35:06Speaker 5: dog free time that is the issue.
- 35:09Speaker 4: So well, then if he's great, then he will be
- 35:12Speaker 4: able to adjust, you know. And if you need to,
- 35:15Speaker 4: like talk to a counselar about this. But I think
- 35:17Speaker 4: you guys can handle this.
- 35:18Speaker 3: Yeah, I suckond that. I actually think he's going to
- 35:21Speaker 3: come through.
- 35:21Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. So just be you have
- 35:23Speaker 1: to reset the boundary. You gave him the benefit of
- 35:25Speaker 1: the doubt, and now you have to take it back. Yes,
- 35:28Speaker 1: this is a pre existing relationship. You're living, you know,
- 35:31Speaker 1: like he knew he was living with your dog. You
- 35:32Speaker 1: have a one bedroom apartment and it's not like you
- 35:34Speaker 1: have some huge amount of space for him to run around.
- 35:36Speaker 1: It's unfair to the dog, and you're not going to
- 35:38Speaker 1: do that to your dog anymore.
- 35:39Speaker 4: I get a white noise machine if he can't handle
- 35:41Speaker 4: the snoring, like, just like, blast a bunch of fans
- 35:43Speaker 4: in the room. That's what you gotta do.
- 35:45Speaker 5: That's a good idea too. Yeah.
- 35:46Speaker 2: Tell him to wear headphones when he goes to sleep.
- 35:48Speaker 4: Oh, there you go.
- 35:49Speaker 1: And then tape his mouth shut so he could breathe
- 35:51Speaker 1: his three breathe through his nose. People are loving that.
- 35:54Speaker 1: Oh no, they tape their mouths shut. Yeah, so they
- 35:56Speaker 1: get me through their nose.
- 35:57Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was thinking about that. I'm getting
- 36:01Speaker 5: him like locks, earplugs or something.
- 36:02Speaker 3: There you go.
- 36:03Speaker 4: Yeah, all right, well let us know how it goes.
- 36:06Speaker 5: Alyssa, Yes, I will thank you guys so much. It
- 36:09Speaker 5: was great to meet you.
- 36:09Speaker 1: Both by That was easy. Probably say this as that
- 36:15Speaker 1: we have two dogs roaming around our room. We're liked
- 36:19Speaker 1: cover your ears first of all. Yeah, if anyone wasn't like.
- 36:27Speaker 4: I know, it's like when I come to bed and
- 36:29Speaker 4: there's like my husband and our three pugs like taking
- 36:32Speaker 4: up the entire bed. I'm like my family. Not that
- 36:34Speaker 4: there's any room for me, but it's my family. Okay.
- 36:37Speaker 4: So our next question comes from l She says, Dear Chelsea,
- 36:40Speaker 4: I have a conflict with my friend that I can't
- 36:42Speaker 4: seem to get over. My good friend of five years
- 36:45Speaker 4: is a gay man. We're both therapists and met in
- 36:47Speaker 4: an old job, and we've been very close to ever since.
- 36:49Speaker 4: We're aligned on the state of the world, politics all that.
- 36:52Speaker 4: He's just moved to a new city. We were voice memoing,
- 36:55Speaker 4: texting daily, and even though I appreciated this connection and
- 36:58Speaker 4: his friendship, I found his relationship at times to be
- 37:00Speaker 4: negative and draining. We're both therapists, and so we both
- 37:04Speaker 4: already take on the mental load of the job on
- 37:06Speaker 4: a daily basis. I was probably holding in some of
- 37:08Speaker 4: these feelings when he texted me a headline about rights
- 37:11Speaker 4: being taken away recently. He has a tendency to catastrophize,
- 37:14Speaker 4: and therefore, through my own process of taking in daily
- 37:17Speaker 4: news content, I've been careful of where I watch or
- 37:20Speaker 4: read the news. When he messaged me this alarmist headline,
- 37:24Speaker 4: I validated it, but also encouraged him to make sure
- 37:26Speaker 4: the source was credible. He seemed to shut down, and
- 37:28Speaker 4: therefore I did let him know that I personally was
- 37:30Speaker 4: trying to take an emotional distance from all the news
- 37:32Speaker 4: headlines myself and needed that boundary. Ever since then, though
- 37:36Speaker 4: our friendship has changed, I noticed an obvious decrease in
- 37:39Speaker 4: communication and his attempt to see each other. About a
- 37:43Speaker 4: month ago, I told him how I felt that there
- 37:45Speaker 4: was distance ever since that day and wanted to apologize
- 37:47Speaker 4: for it. I opened up about how I was feeling
- 37:50Speaker 4: with the state of the world, which prompted my response
- 37:52Speaker 4: to him that day, and while he appreciated my accountability
- 37:55Speaker 4: and vulnerability, he said at that moment he questioned whether
- 37:58Speaker 4: I was a safe space. I was taken aback by
- 38:01Speaker 4: this because I've always been so empathetic. I couldn't believe
- 38:04Speaker 4: that one message would make him question his ability to
- 38:06Speaker 4: trust me. We ended on good terms from that conversation,
- 38:09Speaker 4: and I've seen him once since things were fine. I'm
- 38:11Speaker 4: still upset that our friendship isn't the same, and I
- 38:14Speaker 4: can't seem to not think it doesn't have anything to
- 38:17Speaker 4: do with what happened, or is it just the natural
- 38:19Speaker 4: shift of our friendship. What do I do work on
- 38:21Speaker 4: accepting the new trajectory of our friendship, know that maybe
- 38:24Speaker 4: this was for the best. Or do I initiate a
- 38:26Speaker 4: conversation again to try and work on the friendship more
- 38:29Speaker 4: With love?
- 38:30Speaker 2: L hi Elle, how are you? This is our special guest,
- 38:33Speaker 2: Madeleine Pitch.
- 38:34Speaker 4: Hey, how are you?
- 38:35Speaker 2: I'm so glad to be here.
- 38:36Speaker 6: Thank you.
- 38:37Speaker 1: I could totally understand your situation and your friend's situation,
- 38:41Speaker 1: because that's not the response that they want to get.
- 38:43Speaker 1: You know, when someone finds out about their own rights,
- 38:45Speaker 1: it's like me texting like think about you texting one
- 38:48Speaker 1: of your guy friends and saying, okay, they're about to
- 38:49Speaker 1: overturn Roe v Wade and he's like, check your sources.
- 38:52Speaker 1: You don't know what you're talking about. Like it's so
- 38:54Speaker 1: personal that I totally understand. But now how do you
- 38:59Speaker 1: kind of fix the friendship? I definitely think your friendship
- 39:01Speaker 1: has been impacted by that. I think it would be
- 39:04Speaker 1: if it were in reverse some way, like if he
- 39:06Speaker 1: was dismissive of your rights, I think you would probably
- 39:09Speaker 1: have that same reaction, whether it would play out the
- 39:12Speaker 1: same or not. So taking that into account, I don't know.
- 39:15Speaker 1: Do you address it again? What do you ladies think?
- 39:17Speaker 1: Or do you just keep showing up as the friend
- 39:20Speaker 1: and hoping to get back to the friendship that you had.
- 39:24Speaker 3: What do you think, Madeleine, I've had situations not similar,
- 39:27Speaker 3: but I've had friend falling out where I wish that
- 39:29Speaker 3: it wouldn't have happened. And I think it feels like
- 39:32Speaker 3: it's more about what you feel aligned with. Does it
- 39:34Speaker 3: feel aligned to you to keep I mean you're a therapist.
- 39:36Speaker 3: Is it more aligned to you to continue trying to communicate?
- 39:39Speaker 3: Does that feel like it's working or does it feel
- 39:41Speaker 3: more aligned to you? Just like to let him come
- 39:43Speaker 3: to you when the time is right and show them
- 39:44Speaker 3: what the love and support is there. It really is
- 39:46Speaker 3: like person dependent, I think, especially with a person you're
- 39:49Speaker 3: in this friendship with, like will they respond better to
- 39:52Speaker 3: that or will they respond better to giving them space
- 39:53Speaker 3: and just making sure they know that you love them.
- 39:56Speaker 6: Yeah, I feel like I've been trying to, you know,
- 40:01Speaker 6: ask them how they're doing, how their trip was, you know,
- 40:04Speaker 6: like not being soberbearing, but I kind of get the
- 40:08Speaker 6: feeling they've kind of drifted, and I'm kind of like,
- 40:13Speaker 6: then it forced me to take the look at the
- 40:15Speaker 6: friendship as a whole and reflect on it, and I
- 40:19Speaker 6: was like, Okay, you know what, maybe it was a
- 40:21Speaker 6: lot in general.
- 40:23Speaker 7: I did find myself becoming a little frustrated at other things,
- 40:28Speaker 7: and I don't want to feel like there's this underlying
- 40:31Speaker 7: resentment in this friendship. I guess I would have handled it.
- 40:36Speaker 7: I don't know, like I give people to benefit of
- 40:38Speaker 7: the doubt a little bit, and especially if they apologize,
- 40:42Speaker 7: you know, on That's where I feel like there's all
- 40:44Speaker 7: this grudge and it's just kind of unspoken now and
- 40:48Speaker 7: it's a little awkward.
- 40:50Speaker 2: I don't know how it.
- 40:51Speaker 7: Would be when we see each other again. I feel
- 40:54Speaker 7: like it's just been continuing this distance, and even when
- 40:58Speaker 7: I got Catherine's email that morning, I was thinking, like,
- 41:01Speaker 7: maybe the distance is okay.
- 41:03Speaker 4: Well, let me ask you this before this happened. You know,
- 41:07Speaker 4: you've said there was some negativity and you felt kind
- 41:09Speaker 4: of drained when you were off the phone with this person.
- 41:11Speaker 4: After having a phone caller and getting a voice memo,
- 41:14Speaker 4: did you feel fuller or did you feel more drained?
- 41:17Speaker 4: Your question?
- 41:18Speaker 7: I think I felt more dreamed, which is something I
- 41:22Speaker 7: was kind of thinking about as of lately. I think
- 41:25Speaker 7: I felt a little exhausted or a little frustrated at
- 41:29Speaker 7: certain times.
- 41:31Speaker 5: And that's also sad the kind of think about as well.
- 41:35Speaker 5: So I do love them a lot.
- 41:37Speaker 1: Yeah, I think that once you make an apology and
- 41:41Speaker 1: you are clear and you meant it, which I'm assuming
- 41:44Speaker 1: you did, right, you don't really apologize for the same
- 41:47Speaker 1: thing multiple times. You kind of have to apologize once,
- 41:51Speaker 1: put it out there and see how it's received. That's
- 41:53Speaker 1: on them how they want to receive that. If they
- 41:55Speaker 1: get it, great, if they don't. You can't keep apologizing
- 41:58Speaker 1: for the same act you already did that. So I
- 42:01Speaker 1: think you have to let this friendship live in this
- 42:03Speaker 1: kind of new territory that it's in.
- 42:05Speaker 2: You're admitting that it's draining to you.
- 42:07Speaker 1: Take the space as a gift, like take the space
- 42:10Speaker 1: as like, oh, this is kind of like a little
- 42:12Speaker 1: blessing in disguise, and look at it that way and
- 42:16Speaker 1: just enjoy this time that you don't feel drained by him.
- 42:19Speaker 1: And if he comes back to you in you know,
- 42:22Speaker 1: a few months, or if it takes a year or whatever,
- 42:24Speaker 1: and you guys get back on track, really be conscientious
- 42:28Speaker 1: about how you're going to move forward in the relationship,
- 42:30Speaker 1: because it seems like you did something that shifted the
- 42:33Speaker 1: relationship and that might be for the better in the
- 42:35Speaker 1: long run. You know, I'm glad you apologize. You should
- 42:38Speaker 1: have and now you can just like deal with it
- 42:41Speaker 1: like you would tell one of your clients to deal
- 42:43Speaker 1: with it like an adult. You did the right thing.
- 42:45Speaker 1: Now now you have a different kind of tone in
- 42:47Speaker 1: your relationship.
- 42:48Speaker 2: That's okay.
- 42:49Speaker 1: Don't fight it and don't resist the reality of the
- 42:51Speaker 1: new situation and just go with it and just be
- 42:54Speaker 1: relaxed about it. Don't put any pressure or any like
- 42:56Speaker 1: timelines on it. Just be cool and I and then
- 42:59Speaker 1: I I think you'll have more information in a few
- 43:01Speaker 1: more months, like about if the relationship is going anywhere
- 43:04Speaker 1: or if it's coming back.
- 43:05Speaker 5: You know.
- 43:06Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think weird vibes are like way easier
- 43:09Speaker 4: to get past being in person with someone versus like
- 43:12Speaker 4: doing your normal voice memos and text and stuff. So
- 43:14Speaker 4: maybe it's just like you leave it light until maybe
- 43:17Speaker 4: they're back in town or whatever, and then you know,
- 43:20Speaker 4: you got to dinner and maybe things will be totally
- 43:21Speaker 4: fine or you'll kind of get your answer of like
- 43:23Speaker 4: now the vibes are still just too weird.
- 43:25Speaker 6: I think you're right.
- 43:26Speaker 7: I think like it would be less awkward obviously as
- 43:28Speaker 7: a group and we're in person, And.
- 43:30Speaker 4: I think because you're both therapists, there's like a tendency
- 43:33Speaker 4: to want to like over therapize yourselves about this issue.
- 43:36Speaker 4: So like, I think you can let yourself off the hook. Yeah,
- 43:39Speaker 4: you know, you did your due diligence.
- 43:40Speaker 1: As a general rule to anyone listening, like you don't
- 43:43Speaker 1: have to keep apologizing for the same thing. People have
- 43:46Speaker 1: to be graceful and accepting their apology in order for
- 43:48Speaker 1: that to work, for the relationship to work. But I
- 43:51Speaker 1: do love that therapists are calling in for advice to
- 43:53Speaker 1: Dear Chelsea. I mean talk about a feather in my cap, Yeah,
- 43:57Speaker 1: I mean.
- 43:57Speaker 7: Listen that we can't always take our own advice that
- 43:59Speaker 7: would give.
- 44:01Speaker 1: An outside perspective is the best perspective in my opinion.
- 44:04Speaker 4: Exactly awesome, Elle, Well, let us know how it goes
- 44:08Speaker 4: and what happens down the road. And yeah, it was
- 44:11Speaker 4: she luck.
- 44:12Speaker 6: Thank you so much, Thank you guys.
- 44:14Speaker 2: I have a great day, Calee.
- 44:16Speaker 1: Well, we're gonna take a quick break and we'll be
- 44:18Speaker 1: right back with battle Aine Pitch.
- 44:24Speaker 2: And we're back with Batteline.
- 44:26Speaker 4: All right. Well, our last question comes from Jamie and
- 44:30Speaker 4: she says, Dear Chelsea, I need your help. Girl. I
- 44:34Speaker 4: have a friend, Miranda, who is a thirty two year
- 44:36Speaker 4: old virgin, and when I say virgin, I mean it.
- 44:40Speaker 4: This girl has not even kissed a man, maybe not
- 44:42Speaker 4: even hugged a guy. I wish I was kidding. I
- 44:45Speaker 4: used to think that it was sweet how innocent she was,
- 44:47Speaker 4: but now I'm starting to worry. I shared a funny
- 44:49Speaker 4: story to another friend, Jennifer, of how Miranda has never
- 44:52Speaker 4: worn a thong in her life. Jennifer then commented that
- 44:55Speaker 4: Miranda's innocence actually showed signs of a person who was
- 44:58Speaker 4: sexually abused in their past life. After hearing this from
- 45:02Speaker 4: my friend, it really got me thinking and analyzing some
- 45:05Speaker 4: of the things Miranda has shared with me. Most recently,
- 45:07Speaker 4: Miranda had a family event where I helped her choose
- 45:10Speaker 4: a nice dress to wear, but her parents, specifically, her
- 45:13Speaker 4: dad told her to change her outfit because it quote
- 45:16Speaker 4: wasn't appropriate. To me, this was very weird. How can
- 45:20Speaker 4: a dad tell her thirty two year old daughter to
- 45:22Speaker 4: change her outfit because it's not appropriate? And mind you,
- 45:24Speaker 4: this wasn't the first time he's done this. Obviously this
- 45:27Speaker 4: is a sensitive topic. But I'm really worried about my friend.
- 45:30Speaker 4: She wants to date guys and finally have her first kiss,
- 45:33Speaker 4: but she doesn't even put herself out there. She's on
- 45:35Speaker 4: every dating app and can't match with a guy. She's
- 45:38Speaker 4: also a horrible texture, so that's no help. I want
- 45:41Speaker 4: to help her out and maybe get her a date.
- 45:43Speaker 4: But what if what my friend Jennifer said is true?
- 45:46Speaker 4: Am I overstepping?
- 45:47Speaker 1: Are they talking about past lives? Past lives? Well, that's
- 45:50Speaker 1: a pretty big leap I need to take from somebody.
- 45:53Speaker 3: I thing like, it's not like looked like they were
- 45:55Speaker 3: the version of the friends they are now.
- 45:57Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's a pretty big like, that's a leap.
- 46:00Speaker 4: It's a little bit of a lie.
- 46:00Speaker 3: I don't think you can jump to conclusions like that
- 46:02Speaker 3: about someone's life either or their past lives.
- 46:06Speaker 2: Like let's not get it twisted crazy.
- 46:09Speaker 4: Yeah, this overbearing dad that like maybe has some real undertones.
- 46:13Speaker 1: And if your father is telling you what to do
- 46:15Speaker 1: and what to wear at the age of thirty two,
- 46:16Speaker 1: then you are probably stuck at an age that you
- 46:18Speaker 1: were traumatized at, which is probably eight or nine years old.
- 46:22Speaker 1: And that's why she's behaving like a young girl who's
- 46:24Speaker 1: never been kissed, who doesn't know how to text.
- 46:27Speaker 2: That these are like young girl attributes.
- 46:29Speaker 1: So I think in order for your friend to, like,
- 46:31Speaker 1: if you want to be helpful to your friend, you
- 46:34Speaker 1: have to get her into like counseling and find a
- 46:36Speaker 1: good therapist for her where she can talk to somebody
- 46:38Speaker 1: about what really happened in her childhood and why she's
- 46:42Speaker 1: taking direction from her dad as a thirty two year
- 46:44Speaker 1: old woman.
- 46:44Speaker 4: Yeah, even to just like help her get out of
- 46:47Speaker 4: this sort of enmeshment with the dad who's really overbearing,
- 46:51Speaker 4: Like she's got to see somebody to kind of get
- 46:53Speaker 4: her out of that.
- 46:53Speaker 3: That also isn't your burden, Yeah, you know what I mean. Like,
- 46:56Speaker 3: at the same time, it's like you can love your
- 46:57Speaker 3: friend and you can give them all the resources, but
- 46:59Speaker 3: you also you can't force them into therapy and that
- 47:01Speaker 3: they're not ready for. It's a really tough balance.
- 47:04Speaker 1: Yeah, but you could always I mean, there are soft
- 47:06Speaker 1: to gentle ways to suggest therapy, Like, hey, I saw
- 47:09Speaker 1: a couple of things.
- 47:10Speaker 2: I saw your father too.
- 47:11Speaker 1: I thought that was very strange, just so you know,
- 47:13Speaker 1: like that's not normal or it's not common for men,
- 47:17Speaker 1: you know, for people to listen to their fathers about
- 47:19Speaker 1: their outfits at your age, it's also unusual. Don't shame her,
- 47:23Speaker 1: but it's also unusual that you've never been kissed. It's
- 47:26Speaker 1: unusual for you to be a virgin. I'm wondering if
- 47:29Speaker 1: you should really have somebody who has no like opinions.
- 47:33Speaker 2: About your life.
- 47:33Speaker 1: That's kind of removing yourself from the situation to bounce
- 47:37Speaker 1: this stuff off of so that you can get a
- 47:38Speaker 1: real idea of if something happened that maybe you're not remembering,
- 47:42Speaker 1: or maybe there's a traumatic event in your life that
- 47:44Speaker 1: you need to uncover.
- 47:46Speaker 2: Your lives, in any of your lives. I love I
- 47:50Speaker 2: love jumping to that.
- 47:51Speaker 4: I love.
- 47:55Speaker 2: Yeah, Now, did something happen in your past life?
- 47:56Speaker 1: That you owe that you have this long red hair,
- 47:59Speaker 1: like so presumptuous to say something like that, So don't
- 48:02Speaker 1: say that.
- 48:03Speaker 2: No, no, no.
- 48:04Speaker 4: Okay, and tell her she can just use chat JPT
- 48:06Speaker 4: to text boys.
- 48:07Speaker 1: I mean, that's youah to learn how to do that.
- 48:09Speaker 1: But then she's going to kill all those water buffalo
- 48:11Speaker 1: So well, Madeline, it was so nice to meet you today.
- 48:15Speaker 1: I mean, what a pleasure you are. Yes, absolutely, we
- 48:18Speaker 1: loved having you. You know, Madeleine from Riverdale, Sightless and
- 48:21Speaker 1: The Strangers chapter one, but now we have The Strangers
- 48:24Speaker 1: Chapter two, which is in theaters. It's happening, And you
- 48:27Speaker 1: can also go on Amazon to watch her new rom
- 48:30Speaker 1: com which is called Maintenance Required.
- 48:33Speaker 4: Awesome. Thank you did it.
- 48:35Speaker 2: We did it. We're wrapped. Thank you so much.
- 48:37Speaker 3: Thank you guys.
- 48:38Speaker 2: Okay, take care.
- 48:40Speaker 4: The word of the week is acquiesce to accept something
- 48:44Speaker 4: without protest acquiesce.
- 48:50Speaker 1: I just announced all my tour dates. They just went
- 48:52Speaker 1: on sale this week. It's called the High and Mighty Tour.
- 48:56Speaker 1: I will be starting in February of next year, so
- 49:00Speaker 1: I will be touring.
- 49:01Speaker 2: From February through June.
- 49:03Speaker 1: I haven't added second shows yet, but we probably will
- 49:06Speaker 1: be to some of these, So go.
- 49:07Speaker 2: Get your tickets now.
- 49:08Speaker 1: If you want good seats and you want to come
- 49:11Speaker 1: see me perform, I will be on the High and
- 49:13Speaker 1: Mighty tour.
- 49:14Speaker 4: Do you want advice from Chelsea? Right into Dear Chelsea
- 49:17Speaker 4: Podcast at gmail dot com. Find full video episodes of
- 49:21Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea on YouTube by searching at Dear Chelsea Pod.
- 49:24Speaker 4: Dear Chelsea is edited and engineered by Brad Dickert executive
- 49:28Speaker 4: producer Catherine law And be sure to check out our
- 49:31Speaker 4: merch at Chelseahandler dot com