Latest / Good Morning From The Chicken Coop! / Season 3 - Episode 66 -Family can be challenging

Transcript

Season 3 - Episode 66 -Family can be challenging · Good Morning From The Chicken Coop!

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  Welcome to the Good Morning From the Chicken Coop Podcast with
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  Kim Johnson, your creative strategist and mastermind set
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  coach. Filled with inspiration,
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  distinctions, perspectives, and possibilities, we help you to
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  cultivate a mindset that leads you to create the best version
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  of yourself you could ever imagine.
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  Join Kim every morning from one of her favorite happy places,
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  her chicken coop along with all her chickens.
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  Hey everybody, good morning from the chicken coop.
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  So today we're talking about family and just the fact that
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  they can be difficult sometimes. Now I I I think it's very funny
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  that we're doing this from a chicken coop talking about
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  family because chickens as you know sometimes can they don't
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  get along and yet they are a family.
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  They all live in the same coop, but they don't always do well
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  together. And sometimes that's why they
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  need a lot of space and there's lots of rules around it.
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  And when chickens get picked on, you have to separate them and
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  you have to recognize sometimes you just have a chicken that
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  wants to cause trouble. Not that I have any of that
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  happening, but I just think it's funny because I talk to people
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  who do have that happening and it always is interesting to me,
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  such a fascinating fact, how they all work together and how
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  they think. And just even as I'm talking to
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  you and I'm doing this, the the group of chickens from the
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  neighbors that moved in, we have a solid 12 of them now that are
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  here. Two of them sleep in the coop.
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  The rest of them sleep in the tree like they did at the
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  neighbors. They just learned when they were
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  little to sleep in a tree. And they're not traditional
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  chickens. They're Bantam.
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  So they're smaller. They have full flight and quite,
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  really fast Flyers and they don't want to come in.
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  They're welcome to, but they don't.
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  And we can't catch them because they're so fast.
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  But in any event, how family can be difficult?
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  It's very related to this because as my girls are here and
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  this new family has kind of moved in, I watch my girls get
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  irritated with them sometimes. Right now they're having
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  raspberries, bananas, shredded zucchini and hot Peppers for
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  breakfast. And one of the neighbour's
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  chickens grabbed a Raspberry from the plate and the big
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  platters that I bring out. And one of my girls got
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  irritated with her as if to say no, and she pecked at her and
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  then the other one runs away, drops the Berry, mine, picks it
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  up and is happy. Now if you think about how this
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  works anywhere in nature, we all get aggravated with each other,
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  and humans are no different. The only difference that we have
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  is that we use our words, and our words can be sharp and
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  hurtful to people. And you know, there are times
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  when people will say, well, communication is only 7% words,
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  but words matter to people because they have assigned
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  emotion to them. And so family often has a way of
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  communicating where it can be detrimental, 'cause they say
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  things that they might not mean the way we take them.
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  I know this happens in my personal world a lot, and it
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  it's it's such a hard thing to learn to let go of certain
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  things. It's just it's very hard to
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  learn to let go of having another person's meaning, which
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  is not the same as yours, overlap.
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  So in other words, if someone says something to me and I take
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  it a certain way, that's from my internal world, my scope.
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  They say it. They're meaning it from their
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  internal world, their scope. Now, if they tend to be a person
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  that's much more analytical and less emotional, then I'm going
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  to probably have a more emotional take on it and I'm
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  going to have a reaction to that.
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  It's just the nature of the beast, of what we're dealing
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  with. And there's not a lot that we
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  can do about that other than agree on the fact that we
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  disagree and and try to work on our definitions meaning the same
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  things. But in families it becomes more
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  complex and and especially in this day and age, many families
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  are blended families where we've got many different groups of
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  people coming together that we're not raised together, many
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  different rules overlapping, many different definitions
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  overlapping and lots of emotions overlapping.
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  So how do we handle this? And you know, one of my mentors
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  who I've often talked about on the podcast in the past is
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  Esther Hicks. And she once made a statement
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  that I will never forget saying family is highly overrated.
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  And I laugh every time I hear it because it is true, we put so
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  much on family, we put so much weight on what family means.
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  But the reality is that sometimes they're not healthy
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  for us, sometimes they're not the best thing for us.
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  Sometimes we have to actually let go of them in order to move
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  forward. And people are always shocked
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  when I say that because they're like, well, they're our family,
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  OK, but maybe they're not healthy, maybe they're
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  psychologically not right. Maybe there are other issues.
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  And maybe letting go of them is absolutely the best thing that
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  you could possibly ever do for yourself because then you get
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  the the the break to be yourself.
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  You get the break to make your own decisions.
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  And it's not something that you have to struggle with when you
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  don't have somebody else putting you down for your decisions.
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  Because that's the biggest problem with family is that
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  often they think because they're your family, they can put you in
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  a position. Now, obviously I'm not talking
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  about children here. So I'm talking about adults,
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  young adults, people who are, you know, involved in family in
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  a different way than children are because obviously we have to
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  help our children by telling them what to do.
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  I'm talking about adults and when I tell you as an adult,
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  some of the best decisions I ever made were walking away from
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  some family members, I still stand by it because they were
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  not healthy. They were not the in the in the
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  frame of this world that I wanted to be in.
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  So I'm going to make a suggestion to everybody.
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  Look at where you are with this and if you are struggling with
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  things with your family, remember you are an adult.
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  You can make decisions and you do not have to always listen to
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  everybody else around you just because they're family.
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  All right, my friends, I hope you have a blessed day and I'll
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  see you tomorrow. Bye.