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OUTRO: Home Invasion Special · The Hauraki Big Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: For all you med bastards loving the Big Show podcast
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Get up even Closer on Instagram, YouTube, and TikTok for
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: raw targets four to seven every weekday.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: On radio heard Recare Yeah man, okay, man.
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: So I had this horrendous dream last night.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: And I was.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: Doing a radio show, yes with me old mate Johnny Braff.
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: All right, I mentioned him to you yesterday. Oh did
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: you would have been on your man?
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: Maybe maybe making him break on set.
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, yeah yeah.
• 0:39
  Speaker 3: But anyway, in this dream, we were doing a radio
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: show together.
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: Oh wow, like the breakfast radio show, like replacing Manton Jerry.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Well, he was in like the sort of town hall
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: almost set up where he's doing the where he's doing
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: the show. And I went and I was trying to
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: get to the show which he was doing, but I
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: couldn't get there, and I kept going to the wrong
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: place all the time.
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: What was stopping you, man? You were just confused?
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Well, nothing was stopping me. I just kept going to
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: the wrong place and they're going, oh fuck. But anyway,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: woke up.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: The anxiety just pounding through my body, the quartersol just
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: pulsing through me, three point thirty in the morning, and
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: so I was lying there for twenty minutes, going.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: Do I get up and ever durry?
• 1:32
  Speaker 2: God? What did you do?
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: And then I was like, no, don't get up and
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: have a darry. That's the worst thing you can do.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: Why aren't you giving other darts?
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: And then I went no, and I went back to sleep.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: And then I woke up at four thirty, same kind
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: of scenario. Should I get up now and have a darry?
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: And I went on and then sort of knotted off
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: again and then woke up a quarter past five, and
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: when I fucked this shit and when had a dorry? Yeah,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: So it was a really shocking morning for old Audy
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: J on the sleep for how did you guys, great?
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: I had a shocker. I was up late last night
• 2:03
  Speaker 4: because I went to a comedy show and I also
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: had to be up early this morning, right, and so
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: I and when that happens and it's for work purposes,
• 2:12
  Speaker 4: I always have a shocking sleep And so managed to
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: not off to sleep two am. It's happened. I think
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: I mentioned it to you guys.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: Just hearing.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: On the roof, on my roof, like someone is running
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: across my roof something probably not someone, but I know
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: I say something. But it was not the noise of
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: a cat on my roof. It was the noise of someone.
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: And I'm thinking maybe the neighbors deck next door. Maybe
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: someone is fucking stamping. I don't know what it is,
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: but it's freak. It's woken myself my wife up two
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: weeks in a row.
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Did you go out and investigate your roof?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: I went out.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: No, Like, I didn't go outside and look up at
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: the roof, but I certainly got up, walked down the hallway,
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: had weez all nude by the way, and you know,
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: when the whole house is dark and you're just sort
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: of walking really slowly and like, oh.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: God, what's that? Is there a murderer in there?
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: And then had had a drink water at the kitchen
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: and just like looked around. It was all good, it
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: was all clear, and that was all nude when I
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: was awake for an hour and a half after the year.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: This is out for that sort of stuff, totally, man, Yeah,
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: or at least take tunes because.
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: In that scenario, never go out, you know, would she
• 3:14
  Speaker 3: be nude too?
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: Equal? Right?
• 3:17
  Speaker 4: No, I know, but she gets very scared.
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know that, but that's you know, you've got
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: to take the bed with a good Okay, so you
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: know you want equal pay and all that sort of stuff,
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: you've got to go outside and have a look and
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: risking and smacked over.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: But I also don't mind. I don't mind doing it.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Are you.
• 3:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah, we didn't go outside for a person got a
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: cup of water. You went outside nude? Remember I did
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: what that at the garbage man? The garbage at the
• 3:42
  Speaker 5: garbage man, totally nude. See your ours, not your ours?
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Come on, now, you wake up your your our.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: I don't get sort of in the morning. I get
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: so my erections sort of start around six am, right,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: and then last the duration of the day. Have you
• 3:58
  Speaker 2: on right now?
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, you just it's ready to go, that's for sure. Yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: But that was driven by anger. Yes, you know, if
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: you if you're driven by fear, you're less inclined to go,
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: particularly naked.
• 4:12
  Speaker 4: Because Matt Heath has a thing about this rop where
• 4:15
  Speaker 4: you can't sleep naked because if someone breaks into your
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: house all of a sudden, you're fighting them whilst naked.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've got no problem with that. I'd rather run
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: the odds that you know that I'm never going to
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: that's never going to happen and I'll sleep comfortably for
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: the rest of my life. That's rather than maybe someone's
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: going to break in where I live. Yeah, you know
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: what I mean, It's like, yeah, it's not gonna happen.
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: And then, to be honest, if you had to fight
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: the naked, who goes. And also that's something that comes
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: from your parents, right. That used to be a thing
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: back in the day, which was always going to be
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: wearing something because if there's a fire or something, then
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: you don't want to be nude outside on the street. Yeah,
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: that was mothers to their daughters. Right.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: There was also that thing too about changing your under
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: every day just in case you get hit by a
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: car or something, and you don't want to be hit
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: by a car. And then you know, they put your
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: undies off and they're all dirty.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: Surprising to me that that's what I had to be
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: said to you in order to make you weird clean
• 5:15
  Speaker 2: undies every day, because otherwise you're like in fuk that
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: it's not a common thing.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: If I'm being honest.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: That was actually in Barry Humphrey's book, so it wasn't
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: actually said to me, It was something I read.
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I've got to get that boy.
• 5:26
  Speaker 4: He's the guy that was really a flamboyant clothes and
• 5:28
  Speaker 4: stuffy and dresses. Yeah, yeah, like dress because he is,
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: that's right.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah. The Whocky Big Show week days from four on
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Radio Hurarchy.
• 5:45
  Speaker 4: They Big Show Podcast.
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: But I know, I don't. I mean, I wouldn't have
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: any qualms about finding someone nude.
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: I don't want them to be nude. But I know gross,
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: but I don't.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I'm not nude when I go to bed anyway.
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: So somebody came in, you'd have to undressed, Yes, so
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: I would. Yeah.
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: And in fact, if someone broke into my house and
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: I heard them in my lounge, I would then get there.
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: I would say, oh, shout out, get your gears off,
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: it's on.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And you know what I'd do.
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: I'd get into the lounge where they were and I'd
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: slap my fatos from fire to fine.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: Gay check this weapon out, you son of a bitch.
• 6:20
  Speaker 2: But you'd have a rager at that point, so that
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: wouldn't swing a little swing.
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: All right, And it's our false love. It was just
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: my duck doing poos.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: Have you guys ever had anyone break into your house?
• 6:31
  Speaker 4: Yeah, yep, twice. Same My first flat in Auckland, So
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: second flat. We all lived on the top story and
• 6:37
  Speaker 4: the living area, kitchen and garages on the bottom story.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: So someone broke in through the garage and literally helped
• 6:43
  Speaker 4: themselves to everything on the bottom store. He grabbed a
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: coffee machine, then grabbed the keys off the counter, hopped
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: in my flat mate's car. We worked to the garage
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: door opening, and then they just drove off with like
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: a crapload of stuff.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: Wow.
• 6:56
  Speaker 4: And then three days later the police bold. The police
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: said they'd come back and try the locks because I'd
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: taken the carken. Yeah, and I heard them come back right,
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: because I was sold on edge, you know, and now
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: I'm very on edge. Whenever I'm doing sleeping, whenever you're doing,
• 7:10
  Speaker 4: I'm doing sleeping.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, sleeping. For a long time after I set the
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: house on file when I was a kid, whenever i'd
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: leave that like years, probably over a decade, i'd leave
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: the house. Then I always go back and side to
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: make sure i'd turned everything off. Yeah. I just couldn't
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: even if I was in the house and go right
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: everything off, Yes, and i'd leave, I go back in.
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: I still do, yeah, yeah, as a result of that.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: But have you got over that now it's gone now yeah.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: SHP in fact always comes home and moans that I
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: leave the heater on in my kid's bedroom.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: I every time, I pretty much every time I leave
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: for work, I'll go up my path and go was
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: the other and on, yeah, and go back in again
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: because I'd rather go back in again and be sure
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: sure than drive to work, because I know that there's
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: a ninety nine point nine percent chance that the oven
• 8:02
  Speaker 3: isn't on.
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I just need to reassure my brain that
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: that's the cast.
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: The other side of it is. Even if the oven
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: was on, it doesn't matter, not, yes, unless it was
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: like a pot of you know, the stove.
• 8:14
  Speaker 4: Yeah. One of the scariest things was my old oven
• 8:20
  Speaker 4: had a PowerPoint on the side of it, one of
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: those classic and my wife was making a cast role
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: in our.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Slow cookery, but on top of the oven.
• 8:28
  Speaker 4: I think YouTube will show that I didn't once lose
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: eye content from old Mogen. Neither did I didn't look
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: at anything either. So my wife was making something in
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: the slow cooker. I put it on top of the
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: oven when it had a shower without thinking, because she
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: needed to cook a pot of rice. She turned the
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: element on that was under the slow cooker. Good, and
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: I was in the in the lounge watching tally. Well,
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: my woman was cooking.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: That's ezy.
• 8:50
  Speaker 4: So something I realized joking on YouTube.
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: Take it on YouTube, but not on the audio. It
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: was a joke. It was joke.
• 9:00
  Speaker 4: And I was sitting on the couch. I was like,
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: what the hell's that smell? And I went in there
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: and literally breathed in. It was like I was being guessed.
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: Dropped straight to the floor, like stop dropping. I stopped
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: and dropped and got low because the genuinely breathing poison breathing,
• 9:15
  Speaker 4: and then like crawled over and then like stood up,
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: unplugged the thing, the slow cooker, and turned off the oven,
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: and then got down again, opened all the doors in
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: the house. It was just like, holy shit, and the
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: complete slow cooker had melted all down the sides and
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: all over the curreamon and like all in the oven
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: and stuff.
• 9:33
  Speaker 2: It was crazy. Gee. She probably would have been like
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: with a dinner after that, you were doing fuming.
• 9:37
  Speaker 4: No, it was cooked through. So we just ended up
• 9:40
  Speaker 4: using some packet rice because the slow cooker was done.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: Yeah, man, so geez, shit, it was terriful.
• 9:48
  Speaker 4: But have you ever just breathed in a lungs full
• 9:50
  Speaker 4: of poison and stopped? Then yeah, daily, yeah, and then
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: just dropped to the ground at five in the morning
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: and again yeah yeah yeah, up at five with a
• 10:01
  Speaker 4: radier and then let one rip.
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah I have yeah, I had, I have a rager
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: from about one till two usually PM, and then it
• 10:11
  Speaker 3: then it sort of fades away.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: It fades away, Yeah, just all the energy goes out
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: of it.
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: It actually size, doesn't it.
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: It does.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: It stands to attention as of something's going to happen,
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: and then after about an hour, just goes.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: And it shrugs its shoulders, it does, and then just droops.
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: There is when someone's trying to look tough because there's
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: like maybe a pretty girl or something and they're like
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: and then she's got yeah, you just let it all
• 10:39
  Speaker 4: out and then just collapses.
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Yeah.
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: Nice rage of Chat.
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: Rave and Chat.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: Today Tuesday, listen to the Hurdarchy Big Show four to
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: seven on Radio Hurdarchy and you'll hear us.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: It's really great. Yeah. Okay, yeah, get easy