Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Deciding Fast + Getting Things Done with Kenzie Elizabeth

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Deciding Fast + Getting Things Done with Kenzie Elizabeth · QUESTION EVERYTHING

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: No one has all the answers, but when we ask
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: the right questions, we get a little closer, closer to truths,
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: closer to each other, even closer to ourselves. I'm journalist
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: Danielle Robe, and each week, my guests and I come
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: together to challenge the status quo and our own ways
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: of thinking by daring to ask what if, why not?
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: And who says?
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: So?
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: Come curious, dig deep, and join the conversation. It's time
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: to question everything. Hello, my friends, I hope you're having
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: a really great week. I can't believe that we're like
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: in mid November already. I'm starting to think about the
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: new year and my New year planning. And last year
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: I did a big New Year's New kind of reset
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: episode in how to Goal Plan, and I'm going to
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: do that again this year. I'm already kind of planning
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: it out and I'm definitely going to download that form
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: again so that we can plan together, So look out
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: for that. And also, I'm going to be talking with
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: you guys on Zoom through the holidays, so as always,
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: if you want to send a screenshot of you sharing
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: the episode with two friends or writing a review, you're
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: entered to win the raffle to zoom with me. Okay,
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: let's get into today's episode. So if Martha Stewart and
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: Nancy Myers had a baby with Wi Fi, it would
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: be Kenzie Elizabeth. Let me start from the beginning. Kenzie
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: launched her YouTube channel at sixteen years old. She turned
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: her life into a business before she could legally drink,
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: and now, after a decade online, she's built an entire
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: ecosystem around being herself, hosting parties, needle pointing, creating, connecting.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: She's the host of the House Guest podcast, the founder
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: of Friend of Mine, and somehow manages to make domestic
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: life look aspirational and real. She's the girl who will
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: needle point with Grandma's on Thursday, throw a Nancy Meyer's
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: themed dinner party on Friday, and then ship product orders
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: by herself on Saturday. Kenzie and I are friends. We
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: met through the podcasting world years ago, and one of
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: the things I've always loved about her, aside from the
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: obvious you know she's warm and funny and so easy
• 2:22
  Speaker 1: to connect with, is that Kensie goes for it. Check
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: her TikTok or her YouTube out and you'll see what
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: I mean. Buy a house at twenty four, she'll figure
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: it out. Move states because she needs a change done easy.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: If the house needs painting, she's rolling up her sleeves,
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: and if there's a power tool involved, she's already googled
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: how to use it. She's decisive and scrappy and basically
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: allergic to waiting for permission. Here's a funny example. For years,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: she wasn't interested in dating. We would always talk about it.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: She was like, not interested, don't want to do it,
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: and then recently she decided to do a twelve date
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: challenge for YouTube. Okay, and by date number four she
• 2:58
  Speaker 1: had a boyfriend. Kenzi is just a doer, and I
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: like to think of myself as a doer too, But
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know about you. Sometimes I feel stuck in things.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I'll analyze or future cast or make pros and cons lists,
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: and then I kind of hear that phrase in my
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: head and I guess I say it to myself, which is,
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: you're not a tree. Move Danielle. And that's what I
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: so admire about Kenzie. She doesn't over philosophize change. She
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: just moves, and she trusts herself enough to take the
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: step before she's sure it's perfect. She is undeniably a
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: product of this post everything, hustle, hard DIY internet moment,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: and she conveys that quality that I think we're all
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: chasing online realness. So today is a pretty casual conversation.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: We cover the gamut, how she learned to trust her
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: gut over everyone else's advice, how the grief of her
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: brother dying reshaped her friendships, and why she believes in
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: faith but not perfection. So the question we're circling today
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: is whose voice is running your life? Yours or everyone else's.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: It's time to question everything with Kenzie Elizabeth. Some describe
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: you as a walking Pinterest board. What is one quote,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: to outfit or aesthetic that you are living by this season?
• 4:14
  Speaker 3: I would say I love even though I don't fully
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: live this, but I love the slow like country living.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Life just feels so good. Country core life, Yes, country core.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: What do you think surprises people when they meet you
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: in person?
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: I think that I'm literally the exact same.
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: Either that or I feel like everyone would assume that
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: I'm very high maintenance and I'm actually not. Like I
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: grew up with eight siblings, so you don't really have
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: that liberty. But I would say either that I'm literally
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: the exact same, or that I'm actually not high maintenance.
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: I think you are the exact same.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I talk the same. When I'm like vlogging on YouTube,
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I feel i'm face haiming a friend.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: If anything. I think I might be funnier in person
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: because you have something to react to. You're very funny. Yes,
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: thank you so much, but like people do not know
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: that on YouTube.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: What's something that you believed about yourself at twenty that
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: you've let go of?
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean so much. At twenty.
• 5:03
  Speaker 3: I was way more likely to listen to what other
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: people were telling me I needed to do then listen
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: to myself.
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: And I think that's great. I personally love advice.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: From people that I want to be more like. But
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: I was relying far too heavily on people's opinions that
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: I admired. So I think maybe it's like didn't really
• 5:22
  Speaker 3: trust myself or I didn't think that I was going
• 5:24
  Speaker 3: to make good decisions on my own. Yeah, and I
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: would actually go back and probably change majority of those. Like,
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: there's people that I dated that I would have never
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: dated in my right mind. There's choices that I made
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: career wise. I would put things on hold to like
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: serve their vision more. So I don't regret most of that,
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: but I think that I would go back and I
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: would do it differently.
• 5:44
  Speaker 4: Now.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: For sure, you shared your life in your twenties so openly.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: Does privacy look different.
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: To you now?
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: There's things in my life that feel like more sacred
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: that I don't share, that are just more like emotional. Yeah,
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: privacy is different when I was younger, especially in college,
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: Like when you're logging every day, you're with your friends
• 6:04
  Speaker 3: all the time, so there was always so many different people,
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: and I think that, like, my relationships are a lot
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: more private now.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: One of the things I've noticed about you can see
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: is like you have never, at a young age, never
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: been afraid to make big decisions, like you move states,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: you bought a house, you bought a car, like things
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: that people get nervous about in their thirties, forties and fifties,
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: and you just push forward. What is that?
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: That's actually my favorite quality about myself.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: Like there's a lot of things I don't like, but
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: I'm very decisive and it's gotten me in a lot
• 6:36
  Speaker 3: of trouble and I haven't always been your right decisions,
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: But I'm like whatever, the opposite of all talk is.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: That's me.
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: Like if I was second, I am all walk. Yeah,
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: I just have like a gut feeling.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I follow it.
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: I always say like I am Hawaian because I had
• 6:49
  Speaker 3: a dad who like really thought I could be president.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: Like my dad just believes me so much. So I
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: think that I had the safety of that relationship and
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: someone always backing me. That definitely made it a lot easier.
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: I don't think I would have been like that if
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: it were for that relationship.
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: But yeah, I'm very critical of your decisions.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: Ever, he's not critical, but he's the first person to
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: tell me I'm wrong. Like he's not the dad that's
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: like my perfect angel daughter who's never done anything wrong
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: in her life. I'm literally my dad, Like we're so similar.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: So I think a lot of the decisions that I
• 7:17
  Speaker 3: make like he gets it. So he's not necessarily critical.
• 7:20
  Speaker 3: He's very supportive.
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's definitely things that I've done that he hasn't loved,
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: but he just kind of lets me live.
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: That's you be you. Is there any advice that you
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: would give to your younger self who is just starting out, Like,
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: is there anything you wish you could tell her.
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: I started when I was sixteen, Like I was so young,
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: I would say, you don't want to appeal to everyone.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I was really focused.
• 7:43
  Speaker 3: On being very broad and appealing to like a mass audience.
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: And I wish I would have gone a little bit
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: more like niche and specific, because what I didn't realize
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: is that I wasn't connecting with people as much as
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: I could be because I was trying to make everything
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: so broad to where it appealed to, like the masses,
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: but really.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Like trying to find your crowd. And I think that
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: helped me back.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: Do you ever feel like you're outgrowing the identity that
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: you've created, and if so, how do you deal with that?
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: No, because it grows with me, Like my whole platform
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: is me, which I do kind of hate a lot,
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: like I get so tired of myself, But because it's me,
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: I feel like it's.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: Just always evolving with me.
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: I do sometimes think like have I lost to so
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: much my audience in becoming like a grandma? Like I
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: was so crazy and fun before, you know, I don't
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: ever feel like I've outgrown it because it's always growing
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: with me, Like simultaneously.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: Have you lost your audience or I feel like you've
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: gained audience since being a grandma.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know, Like there could have been all these
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: people who stopped, and there could have been all these
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: new people and then it just evened out.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: But I don't think so. I think people like, even if.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: They don't relate to the whole grandma thing, I think
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: they can get down with it for a little bit.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think so too. Hopefully does any part of
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: you ever want to get offline?
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: No, I really love it.
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: I always hear people who are like, I want to
• 9:02
  Speaker 3: make a lot of money, and then like you'll never
• 9:04
  Speaker 3: hear from me again, Like, I truly love it, Like
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: you could make billions and you'll be I would still
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: want to do it. Like I love making videos, I
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: love podcasts.
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: I really love it. I would still be doing it.
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: It's really amazing I was doing when I was making
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: no money.
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: You know, is there a lesson about monetizing your life
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: that no one prepared you for?
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: No. I have found a way to monetize every single
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: thing in my life.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: I love hobbies and that's my whole thing. But I've
• 9:26
  Speaker 2: monetized all my hobbies.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: What does that mean? Give me specifics, like you get
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: paid to needle point.
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: Needle Point is one. We now sell a needle Point canvases.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: We're like launching under a big needle point company. Hosting
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: dinner parties. I love cooking. I start a home brand
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: that's doing all of that. Reading, I have a book
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: club with the podcast Gardening. Will do stuff with that,
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: and even when it's a hobby, it's like I'm sharing it.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: I feel like when I had less hobbies, it was
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: harder for me because I was like, Okay, everything feels
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: like a little bit of work, but I just have
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: so many hobbies and like, I love what I do
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: and it just is all kind of come together. In
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: my earlier twenties, though, the reason I got so into
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: hobbies was because I didn't really have anything outside of
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: like work and going out. So I wanted to have
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: something to my life that I found interesting.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: The coolest part about hobbies or the people that you
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: connect with. That's why people don't tell you about hobbies.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Is that I have so many people in my life
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: that I would have never met had it up and
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: hobbies like the ranch hand at the ranch I go to,
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: I talked to like very frequently, like I have my
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: people at the farmer's market that like sell me plants
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: that I taught. Like it's just so cool. Need appointing.
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: I go and like, you know all these grandma. I
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: was like, you know, that's my dream. You meet a
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: lot of like really cool people. I think in my
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: earlier twenties it was hard because it didn't feel like
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: I was ever like clocking out in a way.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: But like I have a cool shop ever, so it's
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: like not the worst thing in the world.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: So I started hobbies to not monetize them, and then
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: I like build whole business around that.
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: So like that's kind of about the door.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: How did you know how to build a business?
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: People really underestimate YouTube. When I went to school, I
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: majored in business, and I was so surprised by how
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: many things I'd learned just being in that space. I
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: maybe didn't know the actual term or what it was,
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: but I really did learned so much doing YouTube for
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: like a couple of years prior. And I also just
• 11:04
  Speaker 3: like love it. You can learn so much to like
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: podcast in books, in just by doing I've learned way
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: more in those areas than I ever did in school.
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: Give me nitty gritty, like because you have a right
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: hand person who's helping you create all these products, or
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: you're doing this solo.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: So the business is just me.
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: We do have people that are freelanced, that are heavily involved,
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: like I couldn't do it without them, Like we are
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: building a team, but there's no one full time.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: I'll give you an example, like all the card games
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: I ship out of my apartment.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: Okay, No, we do have a fulfillment center.
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: Okay I can't.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah that I can't do. But we don't have like
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: full time employees.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: We do have like teams and vendors that are obviously
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: like making the products and not like doing that.
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not mailing them.
• 11:47
  Speaker 1: I go to a PO box to drop things off.
• 11:49
  Speaker 1: But I'm amazed by mail, Like the fact that we
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: can get things from one place to another so quickly
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: blows my mind.
• 11:56
  Speaker 2: No, that does blow my mind. That to me is crazy.
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll like mail so the out I CAMPLI this
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: is going to be like so and So's house, like
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: so like you know, after something. I asked a lot
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: of questions, and honestly, I was so lucky with the
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: podcast because I was able to interview and be in
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: rooms with all of these very successful entrepreneurs that I
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: would have never been in the same room as otherwise.
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: So I was able to learn up close to like
• 12:18
  Speaker 3: so many other people so cool years leading up to it.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: So I got really lucky.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: That's so cool. Have you always been that girl or
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: did you have like a glow up at any point
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: in your life?
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Like what do you mean by that? Girl?
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Like, I feel like people are drawn to you, like
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: you sparkle, thank you, And I'm wondering if that's always
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: been the case or if you can pinpoint a moment
• 12:41
  Speaker 1: where something changed.
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: This reminds me of something that you've said to me.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: How Like I wasn't the cutestin school, but I thought
• 12:48
  Speaker 3: I was, like I've always felt that way, like I've
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: always had that energy.
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if that was always true, And it.
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: Really depends on who you ask for sure, But I
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: was like clast favorite in the yearbook. I was very involvable. Also,
• 13:01
  Speaker 3: I was like going to court for truancy. Yeah, I
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: was like really working in the system there. But I
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: just like people, like, I don't know. I was always
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: very talkative. I was always very social. I was always
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: one who was like planning the parties and the surprise
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: birthday parties and.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: All that stuff.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: I think something that I have noticed about you that
• 13:16
  Speaker 1: is funny is that people would not expect that you
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: have done so much deep in our work because you
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: don't talk about it all the time. It's not like
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: your brand. But you are so into self development books.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: You're so into bettering yourself. Was that always the case? Yes,
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: from a young age.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, my whole life.
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: I always joke that my dad is like at my
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: let just like minus the billions of dollars, Like he
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: is so into leadership.
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: He's always been so into self development.
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: He was a huge athlete growing up, so he really
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: got that I think mindset from being an athlete.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: But no, I've always been so much.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: I was reading self help books in like high school,
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: in middle school. Actually really it's crazy. Back then it
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: was more like Christian based books. But yeah, I woul
• 14:00
  Speaker 3: always doing stuff. What was the book that started at
• 14:02
  Speaker 3: all for you? I don't know if there's one book.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: As a kid, I just remember always having them and
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: I was in therapy like starting in fifth grade.
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: So I feel like that kind of led me down
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: that path a little bit.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I can't think of.
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: One book though before like eighteen that I remember, but
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: I was reading them, Like I don't know how much
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: it actually did.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: For me, but I was doing it, you know.
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: So your company is called friend of Mine and it
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: even has the word friend in it. When I think
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: of you, I think of a truly good friend. You
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: are a solid friend to a lot of different people
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: who taught you how to be a good friend.
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: I don't know if I was taught to be a
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: good friend as much as that was just something that
• 14:40
  Speaker 3: I cared so much about.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: I also got very lucky at a young age.
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: So many of those people I'm still like the people
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: I was texting on the way here, I've known since
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I was eight.
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: Also, I think my childhoo best.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: Friend was an only child, and my home life at
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: the time was very tumultuous and like really all over
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: the place. And I love my family, we're so close style,
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: but it was just very rocky. So I think that
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: that friendship like really shaped me a ton looking back,
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: because we were kind of each other's family, and that's
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: really I would say where I like learned more so
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: to be a good friend. I think maybe from other
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: people around me. I don't think it was so intentional.
• 15:15
  Speaker 3: My parents didn't like sit down and say, like we
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: value friendship. I think it was just like something I
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: really wanted.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I asked because one of my favorite qualities about my
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: mom is I think she's a really good friend to people.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: But like you said, we never sat down and talked
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: about friendship. I think I watched her, like when her
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: friend Susan had breast cancer, she would go and drop
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: food off every week, and she just really shows up
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: for people. But I do think that like in my twenties,
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: I took pieces of friendship. I don't know how to
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: say this, Like I watched my friends be friends and
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: I thought, oh, that was so nice how she showed
• 15:50
  Speaker 1: up for me. That felt good. I should do that
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: for other people, and I would like take all these
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: little pieces. Have you experienced that at all?
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Yes? And I actually think the biggest influence as far
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: as friendship would go, would just be like Texas culture,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: That's just kind of how it is.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: Like I was surrounded by so many people who were
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: such good friends and were always showing up, and like
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: witnessing that definitely led me to want to do that
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: more like my parents.
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: They weren't like so social when I was a kid.
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: They weren't like friends around all the time, and I
• 16:20
  Speaker 3: think maybe I wanted that.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: I don't really know.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: I do think it's like the culture of Texas though
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: like Texas is the very like welcoming place. It's very
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: like Texas or die It's very community based, like people
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: are always showing up for each other. Honestly, having a
• 16:33
  Speaker 3: church background, I think it's a huge part of it
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: because we were all so close, like my like youth
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: group friends and I were like so so so close,
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: Like we're still showing up for each other last week,
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: like with someone's experiencing a tragedy. So maybe it's Texas,
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: maybe it's a church background. I think it's a combination
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: of just seeing.
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: All that what is showing up mean for you?
• 16:53
  Speaker 2: I think it.
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: Looks different depending on the situation and also depending on
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: the person. I think people are so scared to show
• 16:59
  Speaker 3: up for other people because they think that that means
• 17:01
  Speaker 3: you have to have all the answers, like you have
• 17:02
  Speaker 3: to go there and you have to talk to them,
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: you have to give them this advice, even when it's
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: this catastrophic.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: Thing you've never experienced.
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: And I think showing up for someone is actually very simple,
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: going and sitting on the couch with them for four hours,
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: Like you don't even have to speak, You don't have
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: to talk, you can watch a show. You actually probably
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: shouldn't offer advice if you don't have an experience, like
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: if someone's not asking for it. It just varies, and
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: then it could be like if you're a long distance
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: friend just calling checking in.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: It just depends on the friendship.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Is there anything that sticks out to you that a
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: friend's done that made you feel really loved or taken
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: care of?
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Oh mean, there's so much by like cheap best friends.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: Dom and Macie have been like my lifeline since like
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: my brother passed away in January last year. Like I
• 17:41
  Speaker 3: cry every time I talk about it, because like they've
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: done everything. As soon as I found out, I texted
• 17:45
  Speaker 3: domin I was like I need to hear. I found
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: out probably two pm on a Sunday, and she was
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: in my bed at like ten beyond Sunday, Like.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: She was there so fast.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: Wow, I think just like them consistently being there and
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: consistently showing up, Like I've learned so much about friendship
• 17:59
  Speaker 3: from specific my friendship with Domic.
• 18:00
  Speaker 2: We've been first friends since you were like twenty years old.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and we've gone through so many different like life
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: phases together, and I think that has been a friendship
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: has probably made the biggest impact.
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: But I think they're such a good example of people
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: who just show up.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: It's like the best feeling in the world when you
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: call on a friend and they're there. Faith is a
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: really big part of your background. You touched on it
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: a little bit. Does it show up for you in
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: your life today?
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: Still, Yeah, just in a different way. I think. Here's
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: the thing. I've like always had a pretty strong faith.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: My relationship with the church has definitely like ebbed and flowed.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: But even when I was like so out of.
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: It and like couldn't even like hear a worship song,
• 18:54
  Speaker 3: it would like literally maybe want to punch someone into face.
• 18:57
  Speaker 3: Like even at that point, I still heard, like what
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: I felt was like a strong connection with God.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know if you feel this way, but I
• 19:05
  Speaker 1: think like religion and a relationship with God can be
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: two separate totally.
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: They're very different, and they've always been very different to me.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: There's just been times where I've been like more involved
• 19:15
  Speaker 3: with church, and I think that's really where things go south.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: And also like I love the church, Like I think
• 19:19
  Speaker 3: there's like so many amazing things about it. I don't
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: go religiously. I'm not always there, but I definitely see
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: the pros. I've made some of my best friends with
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: the word. I met don there.
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: Definitely it's been a journey for sure.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but it is something that as much as I
• 19:34
  Speaker 3: like try to get away from it, it's always there.
• 19:36
  Speaker 3: Like as much as I try to get as far
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: away and I have no interest, I somehow always find
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: my way back. So I think I just kind of
• 19:44
  Speaker 3: have to stop fighting it. There's just something I don't know.
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: I actually have never asked you this. Did you grow
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: up in a religious household or how did church become
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: so important to you?
• 19:53
  Speaker 3: So I didn't grow up in a very religious household.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: We would go on like Christmas in Easter occasionally, and
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: then my parents had a really bad divorce when I
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: was in middle school. And around that time I had
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: friends who really inviting me to youth group. Right, so
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: I go to youth camp. I'm obsassed, I'm dating the
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: pastor some Within a week of course, classic's.
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: The most meathing has ever happened.
• 20:13
  Speaker 5: And I like make all these friends and I like
• 20:18
  Speaker 5: loved it.
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: So I started going on my own and then I
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: had a pretty bad, like traumatic experience there and I
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: stopped going.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: I ended up moving to la and I ended up in.
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: A Bible college, which is like so backwards and crazy.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: So I didn't grow up and it was always my
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: own thing, which I think is largely white.
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: It's always been more of a relationship.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Like I didn't grow up in like a religious environment, right,
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: and I've always been like a very progressive person, so
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: like I've never been like a conservative religious feel like
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: that's never been my thing, which is another issue.
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: That I've had. So like it's very layered.
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: Do you pray?
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: It's crazy, Like I just got a second place in Nashville,
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: And I had always had this feeling that I was
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: going to end up in Nashville at some point in
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: some capacity. I didn't really feel like it was going
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: to be full time. I just didn't know what that
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: was going to look like. Normally, you know me, I'm
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: so decisive. The second I have a feeling about something,
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: I do it. But for some reason, I just know
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: it's not yet. So Actually March of twenty twenty, were
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: in Nashville when like COVID hit and I just bought my.
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: House in Texas and I have this feeling immediate. I
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: was like, oh my God. And I have these specific
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: feelings about moving.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Always, I was like, I'm going crazy. I just bought
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: a house in Texas. Isn't sing and feel insane? But
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: I just kind of clocked it in the back of
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: my head. I was always like, there's like something in Nashville.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it is, but like eventually, fast
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: forward to February of this year, I was visiting some
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: friends in Nashville. I was there last minute. I wasn't
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: even supposed to be there. I booked my flight like
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: a day before. I was supposed to be there for
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: two days. I was there for six and I had
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: that feeling, but it was way stronger this time.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: How do you describe the feeling.
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: It's just a really strong gut feeling to me.
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: If something is a god thing, it's something that's like
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: coming into my mind that like I'm not really trying
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: to orchestraight, Like I wasn't trying to like actively move
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: to Nashville. At that point, and all of a sudden,
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: I started thinking about a lot, like it was coming
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: to mind a ton, and it wasn't something that like
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: I necessarily like wanted either. So in February I was
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: there and I was talking to a friend and I
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: was saying, like, I don't know what it is, but
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: I just feel like I'm supposed to do it sooner
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: or other than later.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: I think this is like the shift that I need
• 22:17
  Speaker 2: to make in my life.
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: I just have this like very strong gut feeling, but
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: I also have this weird feeling that like, if it's
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: meant to be, it's going to be easy. And I
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: don't really subscribe to that like idea of life in general,
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: but for some reason, I just really felt strong, if
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: it's supposed to happen, it's going to happen. In that conversation,
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: he gets a text from his landlord because there's two
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: guest houses on this property.
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: He gets at taxed from his landlord that.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: That guest house was opening up the date that I
• 22:43
  Speaker 3: wanted it. So I was like, that's so crazy because
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: all the other issues that I had too were all
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: solved by living in that house, like specifically versus like
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: another apartment or something in Nashville. So it was so crazy,
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: but it was like I prayed about it that week
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: and literally within days it happened, and it came together
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: so seamlessly, to the point where I was like, that
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: was the craziest thing.
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: That's ever happened me.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: Do you ever get signs?
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: Yes? Do you get signs?
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: Okay? So I grew up without a lot of religion
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: in my life at all, and I would say even
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: without faith, and I'm like culturally Jewish. And then I
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: moved to la and I met this guy. I actually
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: had him on the podcast, so I won't recount it,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: but his name is Steve Carlston and he was the
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: GM of NBC and he was Mormon, and I watched
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: how he lived his life and I'd never been in
• 23:29
  Speaker 1: such admiration of somebody. And it was around the same
• 23:32
  Speaker 1: time that I started reading books like Oprah. That's was
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: the first time I picked up self development. And a
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: lot of these people that I was admiring virtually or
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: up close had some sort of faith. They were all
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: different religions. Some didn't even have religion, but they had
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: faith in something in FARSI like, God means the deepest
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: part of you. And I always have like loved that
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: idea of it, and I thought, I wonder if I'm
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: missing something because all these people I admire have such
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: deep faith. And I worked on and I worked on it,
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: and it would come and it would go, and I
• 24:02
  Speaker 1: would waiver and I would be skeptical, and then I
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: would feel something. And it wasn't until I dated the
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: last boyfriend I had. He was Catholic and he had
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: such a beautiful relationship with God, and I thought, whoa,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: it like clicked for me and we don't necessarily worship
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: the same God. I don't know, like maybe we do.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: It's the universe. I'm not sure what it is. But
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: ever since I became mindful like and noticing, signs have
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: showed up in my life. That was the long story
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: to say, like yes, and even though I noticed them,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: I'm still skeptical because like the inner child in me
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: is like, is this for real?
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: But by the way, I'm still like that, oh my God.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: Still yes.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: I still am like I don't know is this real?
• 24:43
  Speaker 3: And I go through months where I am so disconnected
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: and then I'll get back. That's what I mean by
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: something always pulls me back in like there's always something,
• 24:51
  Speaker 3: But I still had that even when I think I
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: see something that I feel like is a sign, or
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: I get this idea out of nowhere, it's actually something
• 24:59
  Speaker 3: I was praying about and it's actually answered.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: I'm always like, but was that an answer, Preyer or
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: was that just a coincidence? Always? Yeah, right, Even if
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: none of.
• 25:06
  Speaker 3: This is real, I would rather live with the hope
• 25:08
  Speaker 3: that it is because it gives you something to believe
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: in that's greater than yourself, that's supposed to be bringing
• 25:12
  Speaker 3: people together.
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: Of course, religion, historically and even now it is being
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: used in a very negative way where it's doing the
• 25:19
  Speaker 3: complete opposite of that and like oppressing people, and that
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: is not what I subscribe to. But I think it's
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: a really beautiful thing to believe in something bigger than you.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: Another thing too, that my family and I talk about
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: with grief is that when you have a loss that
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: is so close to you and so catastrophic and like
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: feels like a part of you is like ripped out,
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: you almost have this like sixth sense where you feel
• 25:43
  Speaker 3: God so much closer to you, even though you're like
• 25:46
  Speaker 3: so angry and want like nothing to do with him,
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: But there's just so many things in life that I
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: feel like I have. It's weird to say advantage point
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: of because like, obviously it's not a positive, but I
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: feel like I can see things a lot clearer. It's
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: like grief, there's this thing where it makes everything in
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: the world so foggy you can't think straight. I still
• 26:03
  Speaker 3: have such bad brain fogg this morning when we're recording,
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: Like my brain fog is just so bad it can't
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: even like speak normally still. But at the same time,
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: you have this clarity of like understanding what really matters,
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: what's worth your time.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Anything that I.
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: Was confused about, like relationally or with people in my
• 26:20
  Speaker 3: life before, I think it was over time abundantly clear
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: to me what the answers were.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: And I think a lot of that has to do
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: with grief.
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: I think it all kind of goes into this like
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: spiritual realm, whatever it is, where you just have this
• 26:33
  Speaker 3: like understanding when you experience such a loss and you
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: yourself are like crash into a billion pieces and having
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: to be put back together.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: You talk about your brother a lot on your podcast.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: Is it hard to talk about him?
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: It depends on my vibe that day, Like some days
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: I just can't at all, and other days, if I
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: can talk about it publicly, if I feel a little
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: more removed, Like today, I feel a little more removed.
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: I find a lot of healing in it, and like
• 26:59
  Speaker 3: connecting with other people in grief has been like beneficial
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: to me. And that's not everyone's experience, but I feel
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: a little bit of healing.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I think, did you lose friends, Oh my god, because
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: you felt like people didn't show up for you?
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: Yes, that was my friend breakup. That's why it was
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: so catastrophic and like painful. I would say I didn't
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: lose many other friends because I felt that way. I
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: think I just changed, Like you're so different at the course,
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: like I've always been the same, but grief changes you
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: in so many different ways, and I just like didn't
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: have the energy for like so many other things.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: So you lose friendships in that way. I feel like overall,
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: like my friends really showed up.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: One of the things I love about my friendship with
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: you is that you're gen z and I'm a millennial.
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering what you think are great divide is like,
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: what do you notice is our biggest differences.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: One.
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: I think that gen Z there's this like narrative around
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: them being like very lazy and not wanting.
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: To work and listen. Like that is true, I can
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: see it. But I also think that.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Gen Z is like brilliant, and I think that they
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: have so many good ideas and that there's so much
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: coming that's like great from gen Z. I think what's
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: happening too with gen Z is that gen Z is
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: like way over correcting millennials.
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: Like over correcting. What what did we do? Like we
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: were boundaries side parts.
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: No, like think about like even something like boundaries, right,
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: We're like that wasn't really talked about in generations prior
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: to millennials, right, And then like I feel like gen
• 28:24
  Speaker 3: Z really took boundaries and ran with it so much
• 28:27
  Speaker 3: so to the point where like they are losing all
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: of their friendships by way of having quote boundaries, but
• 28:32
  Speaker 3: really they're just being selfish and not wanting to show
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: up for other people or like being a part of
• 28:36
  Speaker 3: a village, Like they don't want to do that. I
• 28:38
  Speaker 3: honestly think that they see to respect each other more
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: because like I.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: Agree, I think that's what it is a lot to
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: learn from it.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: Exactly, and like millennials paved the way. Have some respect
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: and gen Z like isn't dumb and lazy? Have some respect?
• 28:49
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean? I think that's what it is.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: I think you guys know a lot more than we did.
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Do you think that's because of the amount of access
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: we have, like medioized.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I think the Internet held I think like what was
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: formerly known as Twitter helped in some ways too, because
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: you guys were like thinking in sound bites. You understood
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: how to be concise, how to be clear. The idea
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: of building a brand, which like every person is sort
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: of a brand in some ways, is so clear to
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: you guys. I think that's not just a therapy.
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: Though.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: I have a hot take on boundaries.
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: What do you think I don't love them, Okay.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of times when you are thinking
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: about putting up a boundary, you're not coming from a
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: place of love. Gary Zukov talks about it, and he
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: can say it much more eloquently than I can. Listen.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: If something is super toxic or violent, that's not included.
• 29:41
  Speaker 1: But like I tried putting up boundaries with my mom,
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: and I have to tell you, I'm way happier just
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: having things roll off my shoulder and laughing and being like,
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: you're so nuts, I love you, instead of putting the
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: boundary up and then being mad and not talking for
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: a little.
• 29:56
  Speaker 3: I think we use like therapy talk as like a
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: which is quite literally the opposite of like what you're
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: supposed to be doing. I think boundaries have a place,
• 30:06
  Speaker 3: and I think they're good in areas. I really do
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: think we just have become too self focused and we
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: don't prioritize our relationship with other people nearly as much
• 30:17
  Speaker 3: as we should. Showing up in actually having long lasting
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: friendships and relationships in close family relationships does come at
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: a cost, Like you do have to make sacrifices, you
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: do have to be uncomfortable, you do have to put
• 30:28
  Speaker 3: your stuff on the back burner.
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's just bounding.
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: I think it's therapy speak in general, and I think
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: it's really weaponized in order to like validate our emotions
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: versus actually like process them and work through it and
• 30:39
  Speaker 3: get to the other side. I think instead, more often
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: than not, what's happening is that people are using their
• 30:45
  Speaker 3: therapists and their therapy speak to like reiterate their point
• 30:48
  Speaker 3: that they're right and everyone else is wrong around them.
• 30:51
  Speaker 3: I think that's really what's happening, and I think it's
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: detrimental to our relationships. And that's why we have this
• 30:56
  Speaker 3: like loneliness epidemic because people are not willing to be
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: a friend. They want all of it, but they don't
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: want to do it themselves.
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: So interesting you say that, I saw this woman Moe
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: Digs put up a video where she said that when
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: you see a woman who's like throwing a dinner or
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: any event and you see a lot of people show up,
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: know that that's a woman who has shown up a
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: lot of times, who has said no to herself sometimes
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: in order to say yes to other people. And I
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: do think that's the case sometimes.
• 31:27
  Speaker 3: And I think you just have to find the right
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: people to show up for so it doesn't feel like
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: it's a cost.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like you can't do that for everyone in your life.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: So like there is a quote boundary when it comes
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: to like certain people.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Who are just not the inner circle.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that that's what it is. I think
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: with their inner circle, it's of course like in good health.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: But I think that the conversation needs to here on
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: like showing up for people and being there and being
• 31:51
  Speaker 3: a friend versus like how to have boundaries.
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Also, people aren't perfect. Let's like relax a little bit.
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: I feel like you go with your gut, like you
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: go with your intuition a lot. How do you determine
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: what's intuition versus what's anxiety?
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: Oh my god, this has been the question I've asked
• 32:05
  Speaker 3: myself my entire life.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: I think one of them is louder for me.
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: What I've realized is that for so long, I was
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: so busy listening to everyone else's voice in my life
• 32:16
  Speaker 3: and not my own, and I didn't even have like
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: a relationship with myself. I didn't know what I wanted
• 32:20
  Speaker 3: because I'd relied on everyone else to tell me. So
• 32:23
  Speaker 3: I started spending a lot of time alone. I started journaling.
• 32:26
  Speaker 3: Even when I was obsessed with self help, I was
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: still listening to all the outside voices. So I had
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: to almost like try a little less and just get
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: quiet and get to know my voice better or like
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: what I believe to be like God's voice or whatever.
• 32:41
  Speaker 3: I had to spend time alone and get to know
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: myself to even understand that. I also kind of want
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: to say it's like ones out of fear and the
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: other one isn't. But I think fear and being scared
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: or different, Like I think anxiety is out of fear.
• 32:53
  Speaker 3: You can have a gut feeling and be nervous, and
• 32:55
  Speaker 3: you can be scared. But I think when you're making
• 32:58
  Speaker 3: a decision out of fear, you're making it out of
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: like feeling insecure.
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: I don't think there's.
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: Like one easy blanket answer, but I do think a
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: lot of it comes from like getting quiet.
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: I think a lot of our.
• 33:08
  Speaker 3: Answers in life come from like just being quiet with yourself,
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: which is the last thing that any of us want
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: to do.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: So it's not the fun answer, but I think for
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: me that's what's.
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: Worked me too. That's why, like we always get good
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: ideas in the car and the shower. It's not like
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: a coincidence. It's places where we either don't have our
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: phone or we're quiet. Yeah, friend of Mine feels like
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: such a natural extension of your aesthetic and your values.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: What was the first seed of the idea?
• 33:33
  Speaker 3: I had wanted to do a recipe journal for like
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: the podcast merch years ago, and I kept saying, like
• 33:40
  Speaker 3: we need to do recpee journals. We need to do
• 33:41
  Speaker 3: recipe journals, and like with merch, you can't really just
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: create a full product.
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: That's not really how that works.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: So what's a recipe journal.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: It's a journal for recipes, so like you fill in
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: your own recipe.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: Oh cool.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: So that was like our very first product and that's
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: what I really wanted to do. And over time then
• 33:57
  Speaker 3: I got really into hosting and I really want like
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: a tabletop line. There was just so many things, and
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: then as time went on, I started to.
• 34:06
  Speaker 2: Think, this is a brand. This isn't just like a
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: single merch product.
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: So it really started from there, and I had a
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: brand before that we had shut down. And looking back now,
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: if I could tell myself, like I knew that it
• 34:19
  Speaker 3: wasn't what I was supposed to be doing, but I
• 34:21
  Speaker 3: was people pleasing, which is so unlike me. I'm not
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: a people The day it launched, I was like, I
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: just don't think this is the right fit.
• 34:27
  Speaker 2: And again it goes back to I just thought I
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: was nervous.
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: I thought I was just afraid because I couldn't tell
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: if it was anxiety or if it was a gut feeling,
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: and I felt like it was anxiety. The whole time.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: Looking back now, I now see that it was a
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: gut feeling. We did that for about a year and
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: then we just wanted different things, so we ended up
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: shutting that down. And literally the day that we closed
• 34:47
  Speaker 3: that company, or we decided that we were going to close,
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: I had one thousand ideas and I was like alive again,
• 34:53
  Speaker 3: and I was so excited, and I'd already contacted so
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: many people about logos and brandings and websites.
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: I just like knew that that was when I was
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: to do.
• 35:00
  Speaker 3: But looking back, that was my biggest lesson and like
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: that was an anxiety, that was a gut feeling, but
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: I was ignoring myself because I didn't want to disappoint
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: people around me, which is not their fault.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: Like that was completely me. But now I know.
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: Now you know that you're Martha Stewart.
• 35:16
  Speaker 5: No, and now like I want to be Martha Stewart.
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: What's been the most unexpected challenge to launching a brand?
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I don't even think anything unexpected.
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: I think it's just hard, Like it's so hard, it's
• 35:40
  Speaker 3: so hard, and it wasn't something that I didn't know
• 35:43
  Speaker 3: going into it.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to think of something.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: I shouldn't say it's so hard it takes everything out
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: of you.
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I agree with that because I don't feel like
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: what I'm doing is killing me, because it's like giving
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: me energy because I love it. But it's not an
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: easy thing. But I think that just shows like I'm
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: doing what I meant to be doing. And I feel
• 36:02
  Speaker 3: the way about all of my friends who are entrepreneurs.
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: It's like the hours and the amount of like blood,
• 36:06
  Speaker 3: sweat and tears, and I'm financing all of it, like
• 36:08
  Speaker 3: all my money. Everything comes back to me like if
• 36:11
  Speaker 3: we're not paying. It's a lot of like mental energy.
• 36:15
  Speaker 3: But I just love it so much that I don't
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: feel dreamed from it.
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: When I launched Question Everything, I only ordered two hundred
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: card games because I was so nervous no one would
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: buy them. And I thought, well, at least I could
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: sell two hundred to friends and family. I know two
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: hundred people that could buy a card game, I think.
• 36:30
  Speaker 1: And on Shopify, which is a website where you sell things,
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: you can see all the orders that come in, and
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: so I go live. I put the video up on
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: Instagram and you hear the little.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: King kuching like those things.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: It's the best sound on shopify right, and I look
• 36:45
  Speaker 1: to see who bought them. First of all, my mom
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: didn't buy one, none of my family members bought them,
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: none of my good friends bought them. The first I
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: would say thirty to forty people who bought were female entrepreneurs,
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: some of them that I knew well, some that I
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: didn't know all. And I knew in that moment why
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: they bought the card game, and it was because they
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: knew how hard it was to do anything, you know,
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: and they had respect. So now when anybody I know
• 37:11
  Speaker 1: launches anything, even if I don't want it, I'll gift
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: it Sam I'm their first fire.
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: I buy anything anyone launches, like I am always buying it.
• 37:21
  Speaker 3: I feel that it's never the people closest to you
• 37:23
  Speaker 3: that are really like the most supportive with your business.
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: It's always the people who are like almost like two
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: people remove. Yeah, like not so close, but they are
• 37:32
  Speaker 3: the most supportive, especially people who understand building a small business.
• 37:36
  Speaker 3: I have this hosting closet that's like this really really
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: extra closet where I keep all of.
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: Myself to host. In this closet, it's wallpaper.
• 37:42
  Speaker 3: By the way, I have a cookbook wall and I
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: keep like recipe journals there, and I keep a bunch
• 37:46
  Speaker 3: of cookbooks.
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: And I saw that I had like.
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: A Wishbone kitchen cookbook and it was like a paper cookbook.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, when did I get that? I happen
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: to see because she just launched a new cookbook.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: She made a video saying forever ago I published my
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: own cookbook.
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: I bought five hundred copies.
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: I did it on TikTok, and like, now it's so
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: crazy because now I'm doing this whole cookbook and I'm
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: so excited about it.
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: Now She's a New York Times bestsellert launch last week.
• 38:09
  Speaker 2: I don't even know her about.
• 38:10
  Speaker 3: The way the people literally never spoken and so I
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: guess years ago I didn't connect the doss with that
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: was her cause I wasn't like actively following.
• 38:17
  Speaker 2: At that point.
• 38:18
  Speaker 3: I just saw this girl on TikTok with this cookbook
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: and I bought it. But like that is a female entrepreneur,
• 38:24
  Speaker 3: Like you are just constantly buying things because like I've
• 38:27
  Speaker 3: sold so much products in the past, Like I understand it.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: So I am like the first to.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Buy yep, always always. I don't know a lot about
• 38:36
  Speaker 1: hosting the only things I know are from Prea Parker's
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: book The Art of Gathering. She taught me that it's
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: not good to be a lazy host, which I think
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: I used to be in the past because I thought
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: I was a chill host. Okay, I thought I was.
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: Like, where whatever you want, I don't care where you sit.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: And Priya Parker taught me no, like rules are actually
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: a gift to people when you're hosting. What is your
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: best lazy girl hosting tip?
• 38:58
  Speaker 2: A theme?
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: I think theme saves to day and it makes people
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: get so much more involved in it. Most recently, I've
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: been going through and hosting a dinner party to every
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: Nancy Meyers movie and it's been so fun because people
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: come and they dress up as characters. And I say
• 39:13
  Speaker 3: lazy because like it is lazy, Like you have a
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: theme and then everything is kind of set for you.
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: It makes it easier on you, makes it easier on
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: the guest.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: And we actually started with Christmas time. During Christmas, I
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: did a dinner party that was a holiday theme, which
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: is my favorite movie ever, and it was so fun,
• 39:29
  Speaker 3: like all of us came dressed up as like different
• 39:31
  Speaker 3: characters and we had like Christmas Betta.
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: Chini and I had Aveline wine because that's Cameron Tino's's wine.
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: Like it was so fun and it does feel like
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: you're going the extra step, but really it's lazy because
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: everything's planned for you. Like you actually have like structure,
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: and your guests are more likely to get into.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: It when they have a theme.
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: Okay, I like that you have a template almost literally.
• 39:51
  Speaker 3: We actually on the front of my website we have
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: one hundred hosting theme ideas that you can just like
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: download because I'm so aboptionate about themes, Like it makes
• 39:59
  Speaker 3: it so much easier, especially when you're in your twenties,
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: Like your friends don't really know how to be a guest.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: Like you can tell who grew up in like a
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: southern home or like a mom that hosts based on
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: like when they're coming out, like immediately, I can tell,
• 40:11
  Speaker 3: but they don't really like, Oh tell me, they're bringing
• 40:13
  Speaker 3: a host of skifts. Okay, they're saying thank you so much,
• 40:15
  Speaker 3: they're bringing things. They'll never just show up. They're always
• 40:18
  Speaker 3: on time. I never really cared about that.
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: This is something I like to do. But you can
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: tell like.
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: Immediately, like always, what's your favorite host of skiff.
• 40:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, I personally like love a candle because I'm always
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: burning candles.
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: I love an olive oil.
• 40:32
  Speaker 3: I love love it all oil. I think Friend of
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Mine's a perfect toasting gifts. Actually those are the best,
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: but I think olive oil. And I also love flowers,
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: like I love getting flowers.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: That's nice, So I think that those are sweet.
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: I heard Ina Garden say this once, and I think
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: it's such a good tip when it comes to hosting gift.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Don't bring anything.
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: As a gift that you were running out and served
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: that night, because it's an extra responsibility on the host
• 40:53
  Speaker 3: and it's like ruining kind of like they're like function
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: unless you bring it and it's already plated and ready
• 40:59
  Speaker 3: to go and you don't even needs to grab anything
• 41:01
  Speaker 3: from them. I think true good hostess gift is something
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: that they are.
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: Going to use later.
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with you. Something Martha Stewart taught you.
• 41:12
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, I mean literally everything.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: She is such a trailblazer and just does not care,
• 41:19
  Speaker 3: like truly truly does not care and just like does
• 41:22
  Speaker 3: whatever she wants. I think Martha Stewart has just taught me,
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: in probably millions of other women, like how to evolve
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: because she published her first cookbook at forty one. It
• 41:34
  Speaker 3: was not a cookbook, it was an entertaining book, and
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: used to work on Wall Street. She left, she started
• 41:39
  Speaker 3: a catering business, then she launched this book, and then
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, you know, she's had prison time, she had
• 41:44
  Speaker 3: many different eras, and like she's consistently evolving and evolving
• 41:47
  Speaker 3: with the times, and I just love that. Like, I
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: feel like she's at the peak of her career eighty,
• 41:52
  Speaker 3: which is incredible, and.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: She doesn't let like age.
• 41:55
  Speaker 3: Or anything take her out, Like she's just going till
• 41:58
  Speaker 3: the end of time, which I really respect and I
• 42:00
  Speaker 3: think is very cool because especially as women, you feel
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: like you have like a ticking clock, whether it's fertility
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: or age that you can be on camera or whatever
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: it is.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: And like Martha has defied all those.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: Odds, and I just think that's so cool, especially she's
• 42:13
  Speaker 3: so ahead of her time for that.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: You love older women so much.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: I'm obsessed with them, Yeah, literally obsessed.
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: Finish this sentence. The older I get, the more I
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: realize I know nothing a book that changed your life
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: something you think everybody should read.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: The Gap and The Gain, The what the gap and
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: the gain. I've never had a chancel of that. It's amazing.
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: It's amazing if you are an Enneagram three and over achiever,
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: first daughter, and it talks about why you never feel
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: like you're doing enough or achieving enough or producing enough
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: or whatever. Like it teaches you how to live from
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: the gain versus the gap. It's so good, incredible.
• 42:45
  Speaker 1: As an oldest daughter, I need to read. Okay, one
• 42:48
  Speaker 1: thing every woman should try once.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, what would you say?
• 42:53
  Speaker 1: An incredible love affair, Like even if it's for a weekend.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: I agree.
• 42:57
  Speaker 3: I think you should, like go to Europe and just
• 42:59
  Speaker 3: like have a time, just have a time, just have
• 43:01
  Speaker 3: a time. I'm trying to think of something I've actually done.
• 43:03
  Speaker 3: I think spending an extended period of time. It doesn't
• 43:05
  Speaker 3: even necessarily have to be a move, but like, if
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: you really like a location, I think just spending a
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: month there, Like maybe you fall in love, just do
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: something by yourself, Like I think that a month alone
• 43:15
  Speaker 3: will change your life.
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: I like that you said alone time. You can even
• 43:18
  Speaker 1: do it if you're in a relationship with somebody totally,
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: but like go for two weeks to a different location alone, yeah, yeah, okay,
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: grab the question everything card game, pick a card.
• 43:28
  Speaker 3: Okay, what's your all time most memorable meal. I'm shockingly
• 43:33
  Speaker 3: not a foodie. Isn't that insane because I love.
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: Cooking, Okay, but I don't actually mean the food.
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: That's a dinner.
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, like the vibe which feels so right for you.
• 43:42
  Speaker 3: I hosted this dinner party once and it was last summer.
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: I always had like a Nancy Meyer's playlist in the background.
• 43:49
  Speaker 3: It was like a summer theme when we're talking. And
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: it was a really small, intimate group of girls. I
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: love to invite people over that I don't know, like,
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: I think it's really cool to get like recommendations from
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: other people.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: I think it just makes like hosting so much more fun.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: These were all girls that i'd really kind of just met,
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: and they're all telling the stories about how they met
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: their husband and they're significant others or crazy things that
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: have happened in their life. And one of them was
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: telling this like beautiful story. It was an insane story
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: of how she met her husband. And as she's telling
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: the story, the music it all like movie scoring. It's
• 44:18
  Speaker 3: getting louder and louder. It's like as she's telling this
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: like beautiful story. The music's in the backgroundight, like literally
• 44:23
  Speaker 3: felt like you were in a movie. I think about that,
• 44:25
  Speaker 3: like every time I my dining.
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: In it was crescendoing.
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: Yes, it was so crazy and it really felt like
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: it was a movie.
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: I definitely have a better one that's like more like
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: life teaching.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: All though, that was a perfect answer.
• 44:35
  Speaker 4: You don't need another one.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: Throw the cards back, and we're going to play a
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: game called host with the Most. Okay, I'm going to
• 44:54
  Speaker 1: name a hosting situation. You have to answer really fast.
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: What would you either do, serve or say? Okay, okay.
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: You're hosting a last minute dinner party. What's your go to.
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: Dish in a garden? Engagement Chicken?
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: Three people dead are alive that you'd see at your
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: dream dinner table.
• 45:09
  Speaker 3: Dolly Parton, Martha Stewart in a garden. But I would
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: put Martha and I on all of a sudden, Actually no,
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: I wouldn't. I put them together make it more entertaining.
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: You're curating a playlist. What's song number one?
• 45:20
  Speaker 3: Anything on a Nancy Meyer's playlist? Like I'm always playing
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: Nancy Meyer's playlist and they haven Nancy Myers playlist. By
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: the way, for everything, bridal showers, parties, bachelorettes, there's music
• 45:30
  Speaker 3: morning like all of it.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: What's one thing that instantly elevates a table, dim lit candles,
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: a hosting ick, people who flay right before? What's your
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: signature drink?
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: I've recently gotten really into an ininegarden Cosmo, which I
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: was not into them before.
• 45:45
  Speaker 1: Okay, this works exactly for you because you just did this.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: You're in charge of a bridal shower activity. What are
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: you doing?
• 45:51
  Speaker 3: I think showers in general are like pretty chuggy like
• 45:54
  Speaker 3: and they're not very fine then like chegi is a
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: chegy word now I understand that, but there's no other
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: way to describe that. No, I agree, and like, no
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: one actually has fun as a showers. I think we
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: should like ban showers and do dinner parties and just
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: change it as a whole. I'm meant, please, I'm like
• 46:08
  Speaker 3: throwing a baby shower right now, and we're like having
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: the hardest time.
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: There's definitely like cute things here.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: Baby showers are easier. Bridal showers are really hard to
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: make fun and not choogy.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: They're literally so hard and also wires in the middle
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: of the dam. I'm so tired, and then you have
• 46:22
  Speaker 3: to have bright lighting. They're just not fun to do.
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: Clean up as people are there? Do you wait till
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: everyone's gone?
• 46:27
  Speaker 2: I wait till everyone's gone. It's rude to start cleaning before.
• 46:30
  Speaker 3: It's different when people because I have friends who will
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: just stay for hours, so like please just like help
• 46:34
  Speaker 3: me clean, Like that's one thing.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: But I wait for.
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: Everyone to leave before because once you start cleaning, that's
• 46:38
  Speaker 3: a sign that you want them to leave, and like
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: I don't want them to leave, so you shouldn't do that.
• 46:43
  Speaker 1: Is there like an etiquette book?
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: I would say the art of gathering is one like
• 46:46
  Speaker 2: you don't want your dinner party to end.
• 46:48
  Speaker 3: By like nine pm. I hate when I spend like
• 46:50
  Speaker 3: a week on a dinner party. I'm doing this whole thing,
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: and then a friend is like, I'm tired. All right, guys,
• 46:55
  Speaker 3: we're done, and it's like you're done, not everyone else.
• 46:57
  Speaker 3: I just think it's so rude, Like I.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: Think that's such a faux pa. I hate it.
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: I think it is so rude, Like it actually makes
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: me so angry. I'm like, I've spent all this time,
• 47:06
  Speaker 3: Like you don't want a dinner party to end by nine,
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: Like that's not the sign of a good dinner party.
• 47:11
  Speaker 3: But like one person can ruin it, Like one person
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: can be like I'm leaving, we should all go because
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: like they don't want to miss out on something.
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: Like that is so rude. Trys me insane.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Okay, this is a podcast speed round. This is social only,
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: no overthinking, fast answers already. What's the worst thing someone
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: can do on the mic e best icebreaker question?
• 47:30
  Speaker 3: You know, what is a question that I like? It's
• 47:32
  Speaker 3: not really an icebreaker, but I think like best purchase
• 47:35
  Speaker 3: you've made under fifty dollars in the past month, And
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: that's such a fun one.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: It's a good tim Ferris okay. Most underrated podcast guest
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: trait someone who like answers beyond the question. I think
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: is like the best kind of guest you can get.
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: So when you're interviewing.
• 47:47
  Speaker 3: Them and they answer and they're just like smiling at
• 47:48
  Speaker 3: the end, it's like make it more of a conversation,
• 47:50
  Speaker 3: loosen up a little bit, you know.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: I agree, like yes, anding, yes, Okay. Most overused podcast
• 47:56
  Speaker 1: phrase that you hear probably everything that I say.
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: Everyone's been asking. It's more of an influencer thing, but probably.
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: That your personal podcast pet peeve.
• 48:06
  Speaker 3: I hate when someone has a guest on and they
• 48:08
  Speaker 3: ask all the same questions if they've been ask a
• 48:10
  Speaker 3: million times, Like if you're asking a question you can google, like,
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: you should not be doing that.
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: One guest that made you totally rethink something.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: Susie Welch your go to listen World Tres's podcast my
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: all time favorite.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: I've like never missed an episode.
• 48:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, one more host thing is this is just social
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: this or that charcouterie board or full sit down meal,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: full sit down meal, game night or deep conversation.
• 48:31
  Speaker 3: Deep conversation, please my god, man game nights unless it's Mojong.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: Gold flatware or vintage silver, vintage silver, wine and records,
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: or Espresso Martinis in a playlist.
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: Now espresso Martini is in a playlist host with a
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: plan or host on vibes host with a plan.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: Take your shoes off or leave them on.
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: Because I personally don't care at all that people have
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: shoes on, but I think it's more comfortable and people
• 48:55
  Speaker 3: take them off.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: Fresh flowers or candle overload, kindle overload, instagram lebill set
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: up or cozy chaos.
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: It's turo will set up. I guess Cosey chaos is
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: just like you being a lazy host. And as we
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: know from the art of gathering, you don't want that.
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: No, you don't want to be a chill host.
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: You know what. I love that she said in that book.
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: Tell me, I am gonna misquote it, as I do
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: literally everything that anyone's ever said in their life. She
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: talks earlier on in the book about how you actually
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: need to be exclusive and not invite everyone. I have
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: noticed in myself that I've done at the service to
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: my guests many times by inviting either too many people
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: or being too welcoming, and I should have curated the
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: crowd a little bit better. And I've learned that now
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: at his table that I have handcrafted and the people
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: that are invited are invited for a reason because I
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: think that like one of them would like the other person,
• 49:43
  Speaker 3: or they could learn something from each other, or they're
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: in similar field, or they read similar books. Like who
• 49:47
  Speaker 3: I invite to each dinner party is like a perfectly
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: crafted thing, and I will not be inviting to everyone
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: to everything anymore, because I think that that is like
• 49:53
  Speaker 3: a side of a lazy host and I've been a
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: lazy host.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: I don't think it's lazy because I think you and
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: I share this. We don't like people feeling left out. Yeah,
• 50:02
  Speaker 1: and so it's a more like a come one, come all.
• 50:04
  Speaker 1: But when you're hosting a specific theme, it's hard.
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Totally and it makes people just like not as committed
• 50:10
  Speaker 3: to like the night because they're like, oh, come and go,
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: and it's like, no, it's not come and go, it's
• 50:14
  Speaker 3: see to dinner at seven thirty. Like I said, Yo,
• 50:17
  Speaker 3: Like I'm really jellou swear, how do you really feel?
• 50:20
  Speaker 3: That's the only time that I'm like actually uptight because
• 50:23
  Speaker 3: it's disrespectful of everyone else's time.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: Like that's what makes me mad.
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: Okay, you know what time it is. Today's a good day.
• 50:35
  Speaker 1: To have a good day. I'll see you next week.