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Bonus IMPROV - You Know How We Have Presidents? · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  welcome to very fine friends francis i'm yearning i have yearnings for a little bonus improv how
• 0:19
  Yeah. Oh yeah. Yeah. Me too. Okay. Cool. Joe, can we get a suggestion?
• 0:29
  Yeah. Thank you. Your suggestion is manufacturer.
• 0:37
  Manufacturer. Have you ever been to like a big,
• 0:41
  like industrial plant or place where things are produced?
• 0:46
  Not where they produce, but where they're distributed from.
• 0:48
  used to work there
• 0:50
  you?
• 0:53
  no
• 0:53
  I think the closest I ever came was going on a field trip
• 0:56
  to Shamrock Farms as a child
• 0:58
  did they give you milk?
• 1:01
  I don't remember actually
• 1:03
  huh
• 1:05
  that seems like the sort of thing you'd remember
• 1:07
  were you suspicious of me?
• 1:11
  yeah
• 1:11
  am I under interrogation?
• 1:14
  did they give you some Swiss cheese?
• 1:15
  because the story is full of god damn holes
• 1:18
  yeah it behooves you to remember save it for crime story um seriously though that
• 1:26
  i remember getting milk and i remember not getting milk you went to a dairy farm
• 1:31
  why don't you remember this because i'm not a milk fan so if i didn't get milk i wouldn't be
• 1:36
  like i like only i only like milk if it's like freezing cold freezing the milk is freezing cold
• 1:42
  and i'm eating peanut butter or chocolate cake but it's got to be like ice cold milk you know
• 1:47
  If someone handed me a carton of warm milk, I'd be like, I don't want, what am I doing?
• 1:51
  I probably would have said like, no, thank you.
• 1:54
  Okay.
• 1:54
  That's fair.
• 1:55
  Unless it was chocolate milk.
• 1:56
  Chocolate milk's different.
• 1:57
  Yeah.
• 1:58
  Chocolate milk is its own thing.
• 1:59
  Yeah.
• 1:59
  It's its own thing.
• 2:01
  That's interesting.
• 2:02
  I never went to a farm.
• 2:04
  Well, it was, it was kind of like an industrial place.
• 2:07
  Like I, I just, I was like, I was a kid.
• 2:10
  This was a long time ago.
• 2:11
  I was maybe eight.
• 2:13
  So I have like vague memories of it.
• 2:15
  but I remember it didn't smell great.
• 2:19
  No.
• 2:20
  Okay, this is starting to feel like a real thing.
• 2:22
  Am I convincing you?
• 2:24
  Yeah.
• 2:25
  I remember I almost didn't get to go
• 2:27
  because I almost forgot to get my permission slip signed.
• 2:31
  Well, good thing you worked it out in the end.
• 2:33
  It was like a day of.
• 2:34
  I was like, oh, crap.
• 2:36
  Dad, sign this.
• 2:38
  You didn't care enough to remember if you got milk.
• 2:41
  Yep, that's correct.
• 2:42
  You know who remembers?
• 2:43
  The cows remember.
• 2:45
  Shamrock Farms remembers
• 2:48
  That's why I'm not allowed back there
• 2:51
  Yeah the cows are holding a grudge
• 2:53
  Yeah
• 2:54
  She didn't want our milk
• 2:56
  She's too good for our milk
• 2:58
  Because it's not chocolate milk
• 3:00
  Yeah that's right
• 3:03
  Did you know
• 3:04
  I don't know the exact numbers
• 3:06
  But And this could be an urban legend So maybe Joe can look it up But I heard that a disturbing number of people believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows Yeah
• 3:18
  Um,
• 3:19
  I don't know how many people.
• 3:22
  Too many.
• 3:22
  But that doesn't surprise me.
• 3:26
  Um,
• 3:27
  where do they think strawberry milk comes from?
• 3:32
  Cows that sell their bodies for drugs.
• 3:35
  Hmm.
• 3:36
  Bastard cows.
• 3:37
  based on a poll a national poll by the innovation center for u.s dairy or the icusd as i call it oh
• 3:47
  of course uh about seven percent of american adults think chocolate milk comes from brown
• 3:51
  cows this equates roughly uh what was the percentage seven percent so this equates to
• 3:58
  roughly 16.4 to 17.3 million people do you hear that jenna seven percent of voters that's crazy
• 4:05
  I think we're good on them
• 4:08
  I think they could just go
• 4:10
  yeah
• 4:11
  there definitely should be
• 4:14
  a culling of the herd
• 4:16
  I think that should be
• 4:18
  you go into the voting booth and that question pops up
• 4:20
  and then if you say yes I believe that
• 4:23
  then your vote isn't tabulated
• 4:25
  then they just like
• 4:26
  a little sticker is dispensed
• 4:28
  that says you did it
• 4:29
  good job and then they don't know any better
• 4:32
  yeah
• 4:33
  that's a solution
• 4:35
  and now improv
• 4:42
  uh wait this is a i thought this was like a regular first date what do you mean i have to
• 4:54
  answer a few questions first oh yeah it's just this thing i'm yeah i've had a lot of like experiences
• 5:02
  Oh, I totally get it.
• 5:03
  Yeah.
• 5:04
  And I totally get it.
• 5:05
  Figured, hey, let's make sure we're a good match right from the start.
• 5:09
  Okay.
• 5:09
  You know what?
• 5:10
  I kind of love this.
• 5:11
  Yes.
• 5:12
  Yeah.
• 5:12
  It's cool, right?
• 5:13
  Yeah.
• 5:13
  Thanks.
• 5:15
  Should I read them to you?
• 5:16
  I think that would be more interactive than you just reading them on your own.
• 5:19
  Oh, no.
• 5:19
  I love that.
• 5:20
  Yes.
• 5:20
  I like hearing your voice.
• 5:22
  You have a good timbre to your voice, by the way.
• 5:25
  You mean that?
• 5:26
  I do.
• 5:27
  I mean it.
• 5:28
  Wow.
• 5:28
  Thanks.
• 5:29
  I think this day is already off to a good start.
• 5:31
  Oh, I'm having a great day. Nothing could derail this.
• 5:36
  Question one. Who was the 23rd president of the United States?
• 5:43
  What?
• 5:46
  Oh, well, you know how we have presidents?
• 5:48
  Yeah, I know.
• 5:50
  Oh, okay. You know how George Washington was the first one?
• 5:54
  Yeah, yeah. And then Abe Lincoln was next.
• 5:58
  And then Benjamin Franklin.
• 5:59
  Okay, no, skipping over that
• 6:02
  But no, I'm just trying to find out who the 23rd is
• 6:04
  23rd
• 6:07
  23rd
• 6:09
  Well, 23
• 6:10
  Was when I
• 6:12
  Had my real, real
• 6:14
  Hot girl summer
• 6:15
  That was the age I was
• 6:18
  So I going to go with our hottest president JFK Oh I just going to write down a note Oh no What are you writing down No no It not It for me
• 6:29
  It's for me to remember.
• 6:30
  Are you sure?
• 6:31
  Yeah, it's not for you.
• 6:33
  It's not for you.
• 6:34
  All right.
• 6:34
  Well, as long as it's not bad.
• 6:38
  Okay.
• 6:38
  So can I ask you a question now?
• 6:41
  Yeah, I guess that's only fair, right?
• 6:43
  Okay.
• 6:43
  It's only fair, right?
• 6:44
  Oh.
• 6:45
  Oh.
• 6:46
  I like it when you talk fairness.
• 6:48
  Yeah.
• 6:49
  which of the Beatles is your favorite?
• 6:57
  John,
• 6:57
  Paul,
• 6:59
  Ringo,
• 7:00
  or George?
• 7:01
  Is that important?
• 7:02
  Is that,
• 7:02
  it is to me.
• 7:03
  Oh,
• 7:04
  oh,
• 7:05
  oh,
• 7:06
  oh,
• 7:07
  um,
• 7:09
  I mean,
• 7:09
  if I,
• 7:09
  I mean,
• 7:10
  gun to my head.
• 7:11
  Um,
• 7:12
  well,
• 7:12
  yes,
• 7:13
  I have one.
• 7:13
  It's in my purse.
• 7:15
  It's a little one.
• 7:15
  It's a little purse.
• 7:16
  Hey,
• 7:17
  defend yourself,
• 7:17
  girl.
• 7:18
  Yeah.
• 7:18
  I guess
• 7:21
  I'd have to say
• 7:23
  John
• 7:28
  God
• 7:30
  I also would have accepted
• 7:33
  all of them
• 7:34
  Oh, that's kind of
• 7:36
  You tricked me
• 7:37
  No, I still wanted to know what you said
• 7:40
  It's so fascinating to see the way your mind works
• 7:43
  Yeah, I agree
• 7:44
  Which brings me to my next question
• 7:45
  Yeah. How many valence electrons are there in an agonal chlorine shape?
• 7:55
  Well
• 7:57
  Okay so
• 7:59
  I know that
• 8:03
  A valance is like a thing that goes
• 8:06
  Over your windows or around your bed
• 8:08
  And
• 8:11
  Mine
• 8:13
  Mine are just like
• 8:15
  Wait what was the question?
• 8:18
  Was it the shape?
• 8:21
  Mine are like rectangle shape
• 8:23
  And they have roses on them
• 8:25
  I got what I need.
• 8:26
  Okay, thank you.
• 8:26
  Yeah.
• 8:28
  I feel like this date's going really well.
• 8:30
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:33
  You got a question?
• 8:35
  Yeah, I got a question for you.
• 8:36
  All right.
• 8:38
  So, pizza toppings, what's your favorite?
• 8:48
  It's a tough question, right?
• 8:49
  You're thinking really hard about it.
• 8:50
  No, no, I was just...
• 8:52
  I want to be respectful, but also I'm looking for something deep.
• 8:57
  Oh, deep dish.
• 8:58
  No, no, no, no.
• 9:00
  Oh.
• 9:00
  What I'm saying is, you see the questions I'm asking you?
• 9:03
  You see how they're like deep and full of wonder and require thinking and knowledge?
• 9:11
  I don't know.
• 9:12
  I answered them pretty well, I thought.
• 9:14
  Okay.
• 9:15
  But you're asking me about beetles and pizzas.
• 9:20
  I mean.
• 9:20
  But those things are important to me
• 9:23
  Okay, yeah
• 9:24
  Well, bacon, I guess
• 9:26
  Oh, interesting
• 9:28
  Bacon and onion
• 9:29
  Together
• 9:30
  Okay Oh interesting Oh that a little interesting Yeah Oh you writing notes I got notes too I got notes too Hmm Okay Do you have another question for me
• 9:43
  Yeah I do
• 9:43
  Great
• 9:46
  Um
• 9:47
  Favorite position
• 9:50
  Oh speaking of deep questions
• 9:56
  Oh my roommate must have wrote that one
• 9:59
  Oh
• 10:00
  Oh, that's not a real, because that was my next question.
• 10:03
  Oh, no, no.
• 10:03
  I would never ask something like that.
• 10:05
  Oh, let me see what my next one is.
• 10:07
  Oh, it has to do with nucleopeptide DNA.
• 10:11
  We can just skip it.
• 10:12
  What's your question?
• 10:13
  Well, my next question was favorite position.
• 10:16
  Written exactly like that.
• 10:20
  Dirty missionary.
• 10:23
  What makes it dirty?
• 10:26
  That's not really a first date talk.
• 10:28
  Okay, I'm writing it down.
• 10:31
  Yeah.
• 10:31
  Okay.
• 10:32
  All right.
• 10:32
  My next question.
• 10:34
  Yeah.
• 10:38
  How long do I got to wait?
• 10:43
  Oh, my God.
• 10:44
  This is so embarrassing.
• 10:46
  I would never ask a question like that.
• 10:48
  What I meant was 32 light years from the sun.
• 10:53
  There's a star.
• 10:55
  What's its name?
• 10:55
  It's what I meant to ask.
• 10:57
  so embarrassing
• 10:58
  well
• 11:00
  my favorite movie is A Star is Born
• 11:02
  with Lady Gaga so I'm going to say
• 11:04
  Lady Gaga is the star
• 11:06
  that's actually correct
• 11:08
  now I have just like one
• 11:12
  question left for you
• 11:14
  oh yeah yeah
• 11:14
  your
• 11:20
  grandmother is on her
• 11:23
  deathbed but she's deeply deeply
• 11:24
  religious she's suffering
• 11:26
  but the rest of the family is so religious that they won't let her go any,
• 11:34
  any earlier than she has to do you,
• 11:37
  or do you not pull the plug when they're not looking?
• 11:42
  Maternal or paternal?
• 11:47
  Paternal.
• 11:47
  Oh,
• 11:48
  it's a different grandma.
• 11:48
  Okay.
• 11:48
  Hold on.
• 11:49
  I really,
• 11:49
  I think about this surprisingly deep coming from you.
• 11:53
  I have layers.
• 11:55
  I know.
• 11:56
  I know.
• 11:56
  I know.
• 11:56
  Let me think.
• 11:57
  More than just pizza and Lady Gaga.
• 12:01
  I think I'm going to leave her plugged in.
• 12:09
  Because grandma believed in solar power.
• 12:20
  And now she finally gets to take back from the grid.
• 12:26
  That's the right answer
• 12:30
  Oh
• 12:30
  And
• 12:31
  To answer your other question
• 12:33
  Just until after the appetizers
• 12:36
  Check please
• 12:37
  Scene