Latest / After Maghrib 🌙 / Controlling Your Anger & Arrogance (Ft. Yasser Al-Hilfi)

Transcript

Controlling Your Anger & Arrogance (Ft. Yasser Al-Hilfi) · After Maghrib 🌙

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Salaamwalekum and welcome back to another episode on the
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Aftermath podcast. We hope you've been enjoying and
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benefiting from our weekly discussions and inshallah,
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taking some value from the conversations we're having here
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on Aftermath. We need to ask ourselves, you
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know, sometimes we find ourselves in a moment of rage.
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Sometimes you know, we lose the plots, You know, we go on a mad
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one, as some may call it. But more importantly, you know,
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how can we humble ourselves and put ego aside?
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Now, before we begin and kickstart today's conversation,
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as always, I'm going to say Salaam to my amazing cohost,
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Ahmed Salaam Alaikum. Salaam Ala how you say hamdala?
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As always, how are you? I'm good.
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I'm good. Hamdalas.
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We are like at a crossroads in our in our Islamic calendar
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office last week we had. The blessed day of either
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Lakadir, obviously next week we are preparing for the arrival of
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the month of Muharram. So I think this is like a really
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important week for us in the Islamic calendar to reflect on
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what we've done over the whole Islamic year and obviously to
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prepare for the month to come and obviously the year to come
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as well. And if you guys are new to the
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benefit from as well. We want to hear from you and we
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want to hear what you guys want to see more of.
1:33
And also in the coming month of Muharram as well.
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Obviously this is a big topic saying.
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So we need someone who inshallah will fill the shoes to give
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justice to the topic, a familiar voice to some of the viewers and
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obviously a really good friend. Part of the team off the Mocker
1:50
team but the Yasser and healthy Slam Aleko.
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How are you guys? I.
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Came to the podcast Angry When I've Seen You.
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How angry. I'm only kidding.
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Good to have you. Very nice.
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Obviously it's been a long time coming, yeah.
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How's it feel? Feels good feels good.
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I'm, I'm a bit nervous but you know once the time goes I'm I'm
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I'll be alright. Yeah of course.
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I'm delighted you're on this side of the.
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Yeah, I'm normally on behind. Yeah, Yeah.
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So, handle We have a pleasure of having you here.
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Yeah. This is obviously like a, like I
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said, massive topic. There's a lot to reflect on.
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Obviously, going into my home, some might ask, why are we
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talking about anger and ego? Before entering Muharram.
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Why is this? Why are we not talking about
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lying or cheating or this or that or anything else?
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But why specifically this topic? Sorry, I didn't.
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Know you're gonna ask me that question?
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I wanted you to pass it on to the else.
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While you're guessing, my apologies.
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On the level, it's a great point.
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You ask why are we discussing this?
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And I and I and I, and I think by the way, genuinely I've had
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this topic at the back of my mind for a very long time.
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And surprisingly over the last few weeks we've had two or three
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nudges from our listeners who want us to touch on anger.
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You know, how can we? Control it, you know, Where does
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it stem from? How can we, you know, for
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example, you know, humble ourselves not to become angry
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and you don't get rid of this ego that we have.
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Because I'm an ego, realistically, I said.
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And you can agree with me, Feel free to disagree.
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It destroys families, destroys communities.
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Ultimately, it destroys your relationship with a lost.
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And does you know the question I want to ask because we've had.
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Nice discussion once offset of camera.
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Yeah, and I really loved speaking with you.
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I love speaking to you all the time.
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But what I understood when it comes to like anger and trying
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to control your patience and humbling yourself, it stems from
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ego. Yeah, how?
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Well, first of all, much to change the camera.
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Okay. First of all, is because.
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What happens when you work behind?
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The scenes, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
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Well, I feel like when you said it goes hand in hand 100%, I
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agree is because anger doesn't just come from within because of
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for no reason, basically. I realized that for me, when I
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get angry, it's mostly because of my ego that my man spoke to
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me like this, this guy spoke to me like that.
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I didn't like it. Now I'm angry, so.
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If we want to talk about how to get rid of anger, how to get rid
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of ego, then we need to talk about ego.
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We need to talk about where it stems from, where it comes from.
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And from my experience, I realize that anger comes from
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ego. That because I think that I'm
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better than everyone and I think that I'm a big man and that
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everyone in front of me is nothing compared to me.
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If someone steps up and talks to me in the wrong way or does
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something I don't like, then I get angry and it's like.
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It's like I get a fire within that.
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This guy is nowhere on my level, but he wants to talk to me in a
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way that I don't like to disrespect the way, so that
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makes me angry. So just to drift off the topic
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of where anger comes from, I wanted to touch up that if
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someone wants to get rid of anger and thinks how can I get
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rid of anger, It's not going to work of you just thinking, okay,
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let me just calm down on me. Let me brief I don't think that
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works. It's a it's a small point of how
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to get rid of anger. I don't think that's how you get
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rid of anger completely. I feel that you need to look
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within and see first of all how do you see yourself everyday?
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When I look at myself and I see you're so healthy.
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I don't think that I'm this guy that's great with cameras or
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I'm. I'm a good editor or I'm a good
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orator. No, I want to see myself as a
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servant of Imam Hussein. That's it.
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That's all my that's that's my life goal.
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I want to be a servant, but can the servants of your mom,
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Hussein, be a person that's full of anger, full of ego?
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No, I don't think he can. So if you want to talk about how
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you get rid of anger and how you get rid of ego, need to find a
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goal. What's your goal in life?
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My goal in life? Become a servant about about
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Abbadillah and his Senate. That's beautiful and you know
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it's nice the point that you just raised cause like solve
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connects. Sorrowful nights and muharrama's
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going to come up. And, you know, you're very
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right. We do have to look at ourselves.
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I was listening to a lecture a few weeks back by say the most
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of Al Kazuini was based in LA, California, and he was actually
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talking about anger. And, you know, he said one time
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I had, you know, a sister come up to him and she said my
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husband's always angry. You know, my husband's always
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like, you know, angry with everything that I do.
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He's never happy, never satisfied.
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And he can be angry out of nowhere for no reason
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whatsoever. So he was like before and she
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asked him, you know, is there a do art you can do for my
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husband, You know, calm him down.
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He was like sister before I can do any of the art, you know,
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before we can ask a lot to intervene, the individual
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themself is to take upon themselves to acknowledge they
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are angry and want to work towards, you know, fixing their
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anger. And and and one thing that he
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did say that I thought was interesting coming from an
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Islamic point of view, he was like.
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You may need to go seek anger management classes because you
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know the door can only help you to a certain extent if you
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actually really mean that door and want to improve yourself.
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But at times you also need to, you know, go take this anger
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management classes. I don't know what do you think?
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There's a there's a lot to dissect it.
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I think the, like you guys have kind of pointed to the first
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place. Maybe to start to acknowledge
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you have anger, yeah. And also not to not to
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overestimate oneself. Like it's very easy for me to
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think, yeah, I'm a calm guy. I I'm.
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I'm generally cool headed a lot of the time.
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Anger. You know mom Ali Islam says that
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anger anger develops madness and anger has a form of madness.
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Oneself should feel sorry for him for when when he's angry.
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And if he doesn't feel sorry then the madness lives within
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him. That's what Middlemore Million
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says. You know.
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So to understand that even in your most heated moment how do
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you react? You know for example are you
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someone who? Let's his mouth run loose and
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you say something you regret. There are people who speak
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before thinking, which is a bad habit.
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And there's those who think before speaking.
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And one of the biggest traits we have to understand, as follows
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of Amino Motmanin and follows of Vandella Hussain Ali, him as
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Saddam, is that understanding you, how you use your words
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before you use them is very important.
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Your tongue can be the most. Impactful weapon, we say DA is
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the weapon of believer is because what you think and what
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you say can change the course of history.
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They say the tongue can be as sharp as a sort.
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There you go, I said. And if we don't acknowledge that
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our anger can be dangerous, but at the same time, anger used for
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the right reasons, or ego used for the right reasons, which I'm
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sure we'll get into, can obviously be beneficial and
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impactful, then we have a problem.
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Imam Sadakhan Islam says that anger is the root of all evil,
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all sins. Think about like anger sins.
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Not really. I don't understand the
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connection. Maybe you're angry at yourself.
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We talked about insecurities recently.
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Why do I? Why do I, for example?
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What? Not me?
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Why does someone cheat in an exam?
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Yeah, why? Why does someone do Zener?
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These are all insecurities. They might be angry at
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themselves. They might be angry at their
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spouse. They might be angry at their
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financial situation. As long as one understands that
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it exists in you and to what degree you manage it, then also
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we can take it from there. Yeah, I I just to raise another
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point is that one thing that I feel like why I like to talk
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about anger and ego in such a such a way is because I I lived
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in a in a life where anger was a big part of me, that angry
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people are around me and egotistical people are around me
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24/7. Whether it be friends at school
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or friends outside of school or where I go to work, for example.
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And you, you just gave me a memory where you said there's
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people that think before they speak and there's people that
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speak before they think. And I can say genuinely, I used
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to speak before, I think so I used to run loose and let my
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mouth run loose and sometimes I'll say something that's highly
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disrespectful. It's the thing that you cannot
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say at all, no matter you're if you're angry or not, you cannot
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say these things. Yeah, so.
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At one point of my life I realized that everyone around
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me, what I'm doing is I'm just, I'm getting them upset with me.
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I'm making them angry because of my anger and it upsets me.
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Just when you said if you don't feel sad for oneself when you're
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when you're angry, then madness lives within.
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I feel upset for myself that no matter what friend I'm next to,
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at the end of the day I realized I just made this guy angry at me
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for no reason for what? Because I'm angry.
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And one one way that I realized that anger is a very big issue,
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especially in Islam and when you want to better yourself is a
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bliss in Chez pan. That a bliss before he became
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the devil became the Chez pan. And the guy that misguides
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humankind, he used to be in gender.
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He used to be in God's paradise, living amongst all the other
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angels. And he was the one Jin that was
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allowed in God's paradise. And a story that I read a long
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time ago that I feel like changed my life.
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And changed the course of my life is when I read that I
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believe for one of his prayers, one of his Salas, he lasted that
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that prayer lasted for 6000 years and it was a tula casala.
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So in my head I'm thinking raw ha.
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So he's praying fed job basically imagine our fed job
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prayers. My fed job prayers sometimes,
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sometimes can be 30 seconds if I want it to be and sometimes can
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be two minutes and sometimes the from Papa spiritual can be 5
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minutes. Yeah.
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It bliss this guy lost his summer for 6000 years.
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That's a big statement. That's a big thing for the Angel
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on your right to to put down. But when when he was put in
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front of Allah and a lost parent Tyler ordered him to prostrate
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to Adam it Bliss had that one moment where ego entered his
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heart and said the bliss. You're made out of fire.
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You've been praying for how many years?
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Praising your Lord for how many years?
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This man just got created. He literally just got created
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out of mud. You're created out of fire, out
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of smoke, and you're going to prostrate to him.
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That's ego. Because ego got planted in his
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heart. Anger then overtook, Overtook.
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What was this angry point that you're Allah?
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Me. I'm a man that prayed for you,
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praised you for how many years you're going to make me
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prostrate to this thing made out of mud, out of dirt because of
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ego and because of anger. He was then taken out of God's
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paradise and his course of his life changed from a gin that
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wasn't God's paradise to now the devil, a person that's promised
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that on the day of judgment he will be in Jehenum for the rest
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of history for the rest of time, burning and being punished for
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that one thing. So if we want to talk about a
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sin, anger and ego were the first sins to to happen.
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It wasn't. It wasn't Adam and Eve for what
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they did. No.
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There was anger and ego. So when I saw that point that
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anger and ego is what made it believes get out of gender.
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I'm thinking now anger and ego might be the reason why I won't
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even enter gender. So it's a very big thing to
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understand what anger and ego is.
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Is anger and ego just something small that you can fix overtime?
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No. Because if you don't take
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control of your anger and don't take control of your ego, it can
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change a man like your mom Ali. From killing a person for the
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sake of Allah to changing him into just a cold killer that he
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killed a man because he spat in his face, Mama Ali says.
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I took a breath. I stepped away because I did not
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want to kill him for the sake of Ali.
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So he could have became. He could have changed his title
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from killing someone for the sake of Allah to killing someone
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for the sake of his ego and his anger.
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It changes somewhere. And if we're talking about Imam
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Hussain Al Issanam and we're we're just entering.
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The holy Knights of Maharam Mam Hussain Al Issam saw the ego and
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anger that Yazid had. That Imam, that Imam Hussain's
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forefathers, his great grandfathers, his great uncles
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killed the family of Yazid in battle.
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That ego and anger that was instilled in Yazid turned him
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into the man that we remember today, that he right now is
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getting punished. For killing the best people of
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this time for because of anger and ego.
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But then a nice point that I can raise as well is that there's
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good ego like Imam Hussein Alice.
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I'm said a man like me can never submit to a man like you.
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That's good ego. And good ego can be very very
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easy to obtain as soon as you get rid of the bad ego.
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The bad ego works from the moment you're born until the
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moment you're taken out of earth that.
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When you enter your classroom and you look around, you feel
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like you're better than everyone.
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Your shoulders raised. You've got good postures of walk
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and don't care about what anyone's saying.
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That's ego. And because of that ego, that
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one person makes a joke that you should have not made in the 1st
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place. Then anger.
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Anger is made, and then madness is starting to live within you.
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Your life changes. Your life does.
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Change on this point of share pon, at least.
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I was listening to a lecture by Sir Matthew Maduro.
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See. He mentioned a really
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interesting point. He said that that specific sin
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is the root, obviously, of old evil, like a mob, Sidek says.
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Like you said, is the first sin yourself.
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But it's interesting because in hindsight, and if you examine it
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from an external perspective, that analogical argument
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Sheathan uses, I am this and Adam is this.
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I'm better than him, for example.
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That in itself is a logical argument.
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It makes sense because I'm I'm, I'm made of a superior material,
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but. A last panel to Allah punishes
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in beliefs for his ego and his disobedience.
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When we look in the middle of Quran when Allah tells him that
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when the Allah tells the Mallika he he says I don't know the
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Arabic word but the word he uses as a commanding word to fall
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down in prostration, Allah is giving a militant order.
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But this is the instruction I give you and disobedience to me.
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And this is eternal damnation, of course.
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Yeah, Okay. You know, it's interesting.
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Imam Masada for the Islam. When Abu Hanifa used to come to
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him and he used to propose his theories, he would use chaos.
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The US is something that Ahla Sunna use and we reject because
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it's analogical. The use of analogies in the
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school of the Ahlabeitan, hem Islam is forbidden.
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We don't use it because we have the Ahlabeit and so we have
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thousands of hadith which we can refer to and look back to.
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And chaos for that reason is the same argument.
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You could say the same reasoning that Sherban used.
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Well if I'm this and he is this, then I must be better.
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Therefore I'm willing to disobey my Lord, based on my own
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reasoning that that itself is forbidden in Islam and that
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comes back to ego. I am holier than thou, like we
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talked about in religious trauma.
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I'm better than this person. Therefore I have a right over
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this person. That's delusional you self
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aggrandizement. You think of yourself greater
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than someone else and then obviously there are
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repercussions. You know, I think it's easy just
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to talk about anger, ego and everything besides I, I I think,
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and I think I want to take this from you, is what are like real
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life examples of what ego is. Because a lot of people don't
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know what ego is, Yeah. And you because.
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You gave a very beautiful example between Chetan and how
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he reacted. Yeah, to ego, but living in this
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world? Yeah, let's say someone's other
17:30
know. 1415, someone's 1819, maybe someone's married, Maybe
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someone's got kids. Yeah, like, what triggers
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someone to, you know, have ego? It's it's it's a lot of things.
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If you want to talk about teenagers, yeah.
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Ego for teenagers is the dumbest thing I've seen in my life.
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Me against the world. Yeah, it's the dumbest thing
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I've seen in my life because I know, because I was one of them.
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It's very stupid. What they do is that they see
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themselves as, as it's a told. Basically they they surround
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themselves with lies. That I'm the answer.
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I've got bread in my pocket, I've got money in my pocket.
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I got, for example, stuff for like, I've got the girls on my
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phone, you know, I've got, I've got the man them, I've got the
18:12
friends that I need. That's it.
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No one can compare to me. An ego from them stems in a lot
18:19
of different ways. Is for example it's when a
18:21
teacher gives them an instruction.
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I didn't like a teacher telling me what to do at all like when I
18:28
told you I don't like them talking to me.
18:30
And the way where it's an instruction I don't like it at
18:33
all. So I used to tell teachers are
18:35
you my mom? Are you my dad?
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Why are you telling me what to do?
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Or for example 11 way ego would hurt me a lot is when a teacher
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would shout at me and if any of my teachers are watching this.
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I'm very sorry for how I used to react, but if they used to shout
18:51
at me because let's say I'm distructing the class, I'm
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disturbing everyone when they used to shout at, let's.
18:56
Say, oh, you were. Big difference.
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Yeah, yeah. When they were shouting at me
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because I was disturbing the class, I would straightaway lash
19:06
out on them and I would shout back.
19:08
But yeah, so you know, that's a big issue with very big
19:10
generation, very big history. There's a lot of.
19:14
Sass, do you know what I mean? Yeah, a lot of attitude, really
19:17
bad attitude, which comes from teenagers.
19:20
Back chair, back chair and just disrespect.
19:21
You know this guy Mizzy. Is it Mizzy?
19:23
I've heard of Mizzy, no. It was the guy walked into the
19:26
houses. Isn't it?
19:26
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy.
19:28
The prankster. The prankster.
19:30
That guy is unfortunately an example of the worst that you
19:33
see with teenagers. But there's thousands of these
19:35
guys because there's that. Are you my mom?
19:38
Are you my dad? That kind of talk back to
19:39
teachers. It's like you don't understand
19:41
the respect or the status that an elder has, let alone elders.
19:44
For example, could be your parents breath, could be your
19:46
your teachers, it could be anything.
19:48
But I'll tell you something if on this topic of teachers and
19:53
stuff, because that that's a very big egotistical thing for
19:55
youngers. Is that I would I would just
19:59
just so I can link myself to them.
20:01
Is that sometimes, sometimes a teacher might do something
20:05
that's actually not right. Yeah, genuinely, genuinely
20:08
wrong. Genuinely wrong.
20:09
I'll give you an example. One time in my science class,
20:11
I've built a lot of hate towards this teacher, and he probably
20:14
hates me. What's his name?
20:16
Mr. Mr. Sayat. It was my science teacher.
20:19
He, I he used to he he used to upset me and I used to upset
20:23
him. He shouts at me.
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I'd shout at him. One day we're doing the register
20:27
and he's like, oh, yeah, Sir, the word.
20:30
And he used the word that I can't repeat right now.
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That's how bad it was. I can't repeat it.
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But when he called me that word I was baffled.
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My brain. I was like, what?
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What did he just call me? Is that.
20:41
Yeah, Sir, the. And he said the word.
20:44
So I lashed out and I used every word in the book against him.
20:49
Now that I regret what I did, yes.
20:51
But does that mean that that that ego and anger I did is not
20:54
justified? No, It can be justified in a way
20:57
that he upset me, but the way I reacted is because of anger.
21:01
He hurt my ego. So you're saying you shouldn't
21:03
have reacted? You shouldn't react like that.
21:05
Yeah. So if we're talking, so just to
21:07
finish teenagers. As a whole is that for teenagers
21:11
it's hard because they're in their own world.
21:13
They think that they're indestructible.
21:14
They think everything they do and imagine, I'm talking like
21:17
this, but I'm a teenager, yeah. When I was a teenager, I should
21:20
think I was like. I'm so old, I'm a man.
21:23
I, you know, I have my own opinions, everything.
21:25
But when you grow up, you actually think, well, this guy
21:28
was like a I don't want to use it, Others are.
21:31
For teenagers is what you wear how many followers you have.
21:35
How how how rebellious you can be.
21:37
Do you know what I mean how hard you are do you get me And we we
21:40
all like that. Honestly.
21:41
I used to teach teenagers and some of them were like that and
21:44
as a teacher I found it very difficult.
21:46
Yeah, you know but you know there's a in short and Fussilar
21:49
there's a verse in the whole of Quran a lot says.
21:51
So at 41 verse 34 to 35, Allah says if you replace evil habits
21:55
by virtuous ones, you replace your evil habits with virtuous
21:59
ones. You'll certainly find that your
22:01
enemies will become your intimate friends.
22:03
Only those who exercise patience or who sorry and those who have
22:07
been granted a great share of Allah's favor can find such an
22:10
opportunity. Allah's basically telling us
22:12
when you're angry. And you've basically, you know,
22:16
you've got the opportunity to be angry, you've got an evil habit,
22:19
and you replace it with. Patience.
22:20
Good, yeah. A lot will give you not only a
22:22
good friend, but you'll get a great share of our Love's favor.
22:25
There's opportunities there. Teenagers is massive and
22:28
obviously we've got so many of our views.
22:30
We talked a couple of weeks ago, probably 3040% of our of our
22:33
audience falls within that category.
22:34
Well, there's a lot of examples. There's a lot, and I'm just
22:37
talking about school, but it can even go on to, for example,
22:41
outside of school that. Sometimes teenagers like to
22:45
banter a lot. I like to banter a lot.
22:48
Banter because of the banter you're having.
22:51
A guy thinks in his head. Let's say I just met say that.
22:53
And me and Ahmed of Bredrens, we're friends.
22:56
Ahmed calls me something. He's like, yeah, so you're this.
23:00
And I'm like, Ahmed, do this and then said I'll enjoy.
23:02
He thinks it's calm. And he calls me something that
23:04
hurts my ego straight away. I just met you.
23:06
Relax, relax. I don't know you.
23:09
You don't know me. Why are you calling me that?
23:10
Do you get it? So that happens with teenagers a
23:13
lot. Because when they're trying to
23:14
make friends, banter, it happens.
23:16
So if I'm talking to a teenager, a guy that's 18, younger, 19,
23:19
younger, I'll tell you something, if you're genuinely
23:22
thinking about how you can reduce ego and reduce anger, you
23:26
need to see within yourself that.
23:28
For example, you're not better than this guy that that might be
23:30
upsetting you what you do, what you do need to do is set some
23:34
communication. One thing that I work on a lot
23:37
is that I don't hide what is in my heart.
23:39
So if I have a problem with say that.
23:41
If I have a problem with Ahmed, I'll tell you, you man need to
23:44
stop this because it's upsetting me and I'm getting quite angry.
23:47
So I I it's good that you communicate.
23:50
Because once you communicate, it sets that line, that boundary.
23:54
If he then does exceed that boundary, exceed that red line,
23:58
then you know how to handle it. It doesn't have to be with you
24:00
punching him up, you you getting angry, but you staying calm
24:04
actually shows that you're the bigger man.
24:06
It's a maturity. It's a it's a maturity.
24:08
It's something about maturity. It is.
24:09
It's all about. But if you want to move on to
24:11
outside of teenagers would work. I see a lot with work that I
24:16
might be a lower position than save much lover.
24:20
Say Muchtaba is editor. I'm something.
24:23
I'm cameraman. If I go to say, Muchtaba and I'm
24:26
trying to give him a tip on how to edit.
24:28
And this is something happened before by the way.
24:30
Muchtaba was editing and all I said was why are you doing that?
24:34
That's what I said. Why doing that?
24:36
He cracked. I've been editing.
24:38
We need to make an intervention. I've been.
24:41
Before there's a fight on this podcast.
24:44
I've been editing for 15 years. Da da da.
24:47
We're trying to teach me. That's ego.
24:50
Now I'm not telling you that he has ego.
24:52
I'm just saying. Marshall is one of the most
24:54
humble guys, yeah. So then he doesn't have a
24:56
microphone to back. Yeah, but but that's not, I'm
24:58
not saying that he's egotistical.
24:59
I'm just saying that's that's that's a bit of ego.
25:02
So if I was egotistical and angry, the way he spoke to me
25:06
and he was like, wait, trying to teach me, I've been editing in
25:09
Time Warner. Who are you?
25:10
I could have lashed out and I could have gone very angry at
25:13
him and and done a matting for what?
25:16
Because he shouted at me and he said a couple words that I
25:18
didn't like. But because I don't, I reduce
25:20
the ego and anger, then it helps.
25:23
But it can work both ways. If Muchstabar said muchstabar
25:26
answered in a better way, they dropped his ego and said, you
25:29
know what? You answered, I appreciate, but
25:30
I know what I'm doing. Just that, Just that line.
25:33
I appreciate what you're telling me, but I know what I'm doing.
25:36
Boom. Everything comes back.
25:37
Everything's squashed, so communication is a very good
25:40
thing and communication goes back to what Ahmed said.
25:43
Think before you speak. It's a thing that I struggle
25:46
with till today. Think you before I speak.
25:49
We talk about Bahlul the way that the way that society saw
25:52
him and the way that the imam saw him.
25:54
People would ask him why are you engaging with such a man?
25:57
But he understood that the guys for example.
26:00
Obviously we know Bahlul, his own method and strategy, but
26:05
it's interesting because the AIM Mahalem Assalam would reduce
26:08
themselves to be on par with the people's level.
26:12
They would never look down on someone.
26:14
Ego is a big part of his looking down on someone.
26:16
You might meet someone for the first time, think what's what's
26:18
this guy wearing? Or like, you might judge them so
26:20
fast. There was so many people I can
26:22
imagine and remember that I've judged too quickly.
26:26
I can. I can think of dozens of people.
26:28
I've judged them too fast. My first impression of them was
26:31
bad. I I looked down on them, got to
26:34
know them, and I felt like an idiot.
26:36
These guys are beautiful humans and it's me who's the one who
26:39
has the disease in my heart of anger and ego.
26:42
It all comes back to that. To be honest, you have to be
26:45
real, and I know who you are and you're worth.
26:47
That's right. And, you know, we have to be
26:48
real and you have to be give that example of, for example,
26:52
you know, the teachers, how we teenagers think we're better
26:55
than teachers. And I think something that
26:56
affects the Muslim, Muslim community a lot.
26:59
For example, sometimes we think we're better than scholars and
27:01
we, we we may think we're experts in a certain subject or
27:05
certain matter. And, you know, we can hear
27:06
something of the pulpit or hear something from, you know, a
27:09
scholar who spent his whole life dedicated, you know, to.
27:12
Understanding the calm and the history and everything about
27:15
Islam and then we come and say no, he said.
27:17
This is wrong. We never give like benefit of
27:19
that or anything. And I think that's something we
27:20
can all work on. I think myself sometimes I hear
27:23
things and I'm like, why are you saying this?
27:27
But there's a difference. I'm not going to come and say
27:29
why are you saying this is wrong?
27:30
And sometimes I've I've gone back like done the research and
27:32
it's actually right. I was wrong, for example, my
27:36
understanding of certain aspects and faith.
27:39
I said Abdullah, and I think something that we need to really
27:41
focus on is you mentioned it very early on, is our tongues.
27:46
Because sometimes, you know, we can really lose patience when it
27:50
comes to family members. Because, you know, sometimes you
27:53
may have a son and he's very disrespectful with his father or
27:58
sometimes you may have a husband is very disrespectful with his
28:01
spouse. Or sometimes you may have the
28:04
other way around, the parents, so disrespectful to his son.
28:06
And then what? What happens?
28:08
This guy thinks, you know, I'm the dad, I'm better than you.
28:11
So this is how I'm going to speak with you or the some
28:13
things I'm a teenager, I know better than you.
28:16
So my ego is going to overtake me and I'm going to disrespect
28:19
you. What's going to happen on the
28:20
other side? Anger.
28:22
You get that example of your teacher and I was just thinking,
28:25
you know, you know, it relates to our daytoday life.
28:27
I can even say something to I don't say it is that if I want
28:31
to make this podcast helpful to the viewer and to the listener,
28:35
our other line. All right, which is this comes
28:38
from personal experience that handed that throughout my years
28:42
I've met a lot of different people from a lot of different
28:44
backgrounds. And I talked to say much about
28:47
this a lot that there's lecturers out there or there's
28:50
speakers out there that might go up and and let's say they talked
28:53
about anger. All they'll do is say why
28:55
anger's wrong and why you should stop it.
28:58
And then they'll say some some mad reason, mad ways of stopping
29:02
you. You need to read that I showed
29:04
out every day, or you need to read this book and this book.
29:07
But sometimes it has to go deeper.
29:08
You have to put your head with some of these people.
29:10
And I took from life experience that there are some people out
29:14
there that are not angry because of what someone said, but
29:18
they're angry of something that happened in the past, that, for
29:21
example, their father might have left them, and when their father
29:24
left them, their mom became a single mother.
29:26
I had a friend, a very close brother of mine.
29:28
That his father left him when he was six years old.
29:31
Not sorry, no, sorry. His father left him when he was
29:34
12. His younger brother was 6 now
29:37
when he was 12. Sometimes some people did
29:39
develop a bit early and mature a bit early.
29:41
You're 12 year old and you just saw your dad leave.
29:43
He's not coming back. And you're looking at your mom.
29:46
She's crying day and night. She's a single mother.
29:48
Imagine an Arab mother migrated from Iraq, doesn't know an ounce
29:52
of English. How is she now going to provide
29:55
for her three children, A six year old, A 12 year old, her
29:58
daughter that was two years old? Now, I'm not going to mention
30:01
names and hopefully he's not upset with me saying this, but
30:04
if a man goes through this from 12 years old, then he's angry.
30:08
He's angry about his father's absence, that because his father
30:11
left his whole life had to change.
30:14
That he can't have that childhood where he can leave and
30:16
go to the park, play football, play basketball, go to school
30:20
and live a normal life. No, he needs to think in the
30:22
back of his head. Am I going to go home and see my
30:25
mom cry again? Am I going to have to hide it
30:27
from my younger brother and my younger sister?
30:29
Am I going to have to do something to provide food?
30:32
Yesterday my mom didn't give me food.
30:33
She didn't give me lunch money today or or she gave me a banana
30:37
for lunch. All these life experiences, what
30:40
happens then Doesn't plant eagle, but plants anger.
30:43
That is very hard to get rid of. That your father's absence now
30:48
angers you that your life had to change.
30:51
For what? I was an innocent child that
30:53
didn't deserve anything, didn't deserve this, that came to me.
30:57
But because of my father's absence, my life changed.
30:59
I want to add something, if you don't mind.
31:01
Please, bro, we have to cut people's slack.
31:04
Well, I love it. We really have to cut people's
31:06
slack because you, you don't know what's going on in people's
31:09
lives. And what you said, Yes, I know a
31:11
few people with nearly an identical story to that.
31:14
And. You know, you, you meet someone
31:16
for the first time and superficially on the surface,
31:19
they seem like a normal human. Yeah.
31:20
The more you get to know them, the more, the more deep you
31:23
understand them, the more baggage you you uncover.
31:26
Yeah. And you think this person has
31:27
lost a family member. He's had a traumatic experience.
31:31
They went through something when they were young or even when
31:33
they were older, for example. Yeah.
31:35
And those people are then put into their own life scenarios.
31:38
So let's say, for example, they, they joined a workplace.
31:42
And they're working with people day in, day out.
31:44
Those someone will say something to trigger someone you don't
31:47
know. This guy's be careful with your
31:49
words because you don't know how it affects them.
31:50
Or for example, in marriage, right?
31:52
You might end up marrying someone or you might have, I
31:56
don't know, your brother or your sister marry someone who's got a
31:58
previous life experience who comes from a traumatic family,
32:01
traumatic background. I beg you, be aware of their
32:05
circumstances and change how you behave yourself in response to
32:09
it. Because there are people who
32:10
don't. Process things psychologically
32:13
the same way you do. The society they grew up in is
32:15
not the society you grew up in. So being angry at them is not a
32:20
good thing. You might look down on them, you
32:21
might feel angry to the way they process things.
32:23
They might get angry fast. That doesn't mean you respond or
32:26
react. Honestly, I wish I could say
32:28
this more because I know a lot of people in a similar
32:29
situation. And I've seen it.
32:31
I've seen it a lot. Oh, you know, sometimes this
32:33
moment of rage, you can really, really change the course of your
32:37
life. And you know, we've seen
32:39
marriages breakdown, families breakdown, communities, you
32:42
know, dismantle and sometimes brothers, you look at them and
32:45
you're like, these two are great brothers or these two are great
32:49
friends. You don't.
32:50
What on earth happened? You know what separated them?
32:53
You go on, anger. And even in even in marriage,
32:55
how many times you hear sorry us?
32:56
How many times you hear a marriage that these two loved
32:58
each other? What happened?
33:00
Overnight, they stopped. They stopped loving each other.
33:03
It doesn't happen. It's not meant to happen.
33:05
Like I'm fed up with it. Well, why?
33:07
Because I know so many stories of.
33:09
It's a very big problem. That's a.
33:10
Big problem. Big problem.
33:12
I got something when I was very young that because of some life
33:16
experiences and stuff, I became very attentive.
33:19
That I picked up on a lot of things that that might some
33:22
people might not pick up on stuff so which probably, which
33:26
is why probably I'm in media because in media he to catch a
33:29
lot of stuff that people won't catch.
33:31
But I'll say something which is I realized for example, this
33:35
friend that lost his father. Let's say I just became friends
33:39
with said Ali and said Ali goes to this friend of mine and out
33:44
of nowhere we're having banter and he disrespects.
33:46
Or does like a slight comment about his dad.
33:50
Now this guy's lost his dad. His dad's left, but he's upset.
33:53
He's angry of his absence. So when this guy cusses his dad
33:57
or disrespects him, trigger, now that that triggers, there is
34:01
going to be the hardest thing on earth to come into.
34:04
And I'll tell you now it's going to be very hard because when we
34:07
were in that situation, me. I wasn't upset to be fair of you
34:11
because I realized for example why he said and he said that
34:14
it's banter where young, high. This is hypothetical all
34:17
hypothetical. No, it happened.
34:19
It happened in real life. But it wasn't said Ally.
34:22
Yeah it wasn't said ally. So straight away this guy lashed
34:25
out became angry and and the Long story short he beat the the
34:30
hell out of this guy because of this one word he said that he
34:34
disrespected his father. So.
34:36
So it's going to be very hard for you as a man that might not
34:39
have ego. And reduce his ego and anger to
34:42
now know how to deal with people.
34:44
You to watch your words. If you don't know someone, get
34:46
to know, because once you get to know, you know how to deal with
34:50
them. You know, we avoid situations
34:52
like this. If we're patient and we're
34:54
respectful and you don't know if you're going through something,
34:57
you don't have someone else to go through, some going through
34:59
something. So you've got to be smart with
35:01
how you speak to people and and to be honest in the long run, be
35:05
better for you. Because then you'll you'll
35:07
you'll, you'll become habitual for you.
35:08
You'll, it'll become your habits to be cautious about how you
35:12
speak to people, and then you'll give people the benefit of the
35:15
doubt. So I shouldn't say anything
35:16
about this guy's dad. I don't know what his situation
35:18
is for. Example you never.
35:19
Know. Do you know what I'm saying?
35:20
Let's move on because obviously when we're getting on, I want to
35:23
talk about Muharram. OK.
35:25
Muharram is fast approaching. We've got a few days to go now.
35:30
It's a time of year where we look to change.
35:34
OK, I have like two or three short things on the sale and
35:36
then I'll pass over to you guys. Please.
35:38
The 1st is our religion as Shias in the West.
35:43
Is is Islam by label but Muharram and Ashura by culture.
35:51
When we take it the wrong way, sometimes we end up worshipping
35:55
Imam Hussein Ale Salaam. I don't wanna make that sound
35:58
wrong. But we make it the time of the
36:00
year which is the most important for us and nothing else matters.
36:04
What we want to change in Muharram is not just entering
36:07
Karbala and entering Ashwara and saying this is the the final
36:10
thing 11th of Muharram. I'm done, I've done my duty,
36:13
I've done my khindma, I've, I've served my food and I've hit my
36:16
chest and that's it. No, we want to enter Muharram
36:19
thinking, how can I improve my relationship with Allah and what
36:22
habits can I make a change from last time, last Muharram, we had
36:25
this exact conversation about changing yourself.
36:28
In this coming month, there's incredible amounts.
36:30
And This is why we wanted to talk about this today, because
36:32
if we can work on anger and ego, you'll see it taking part in the
36:36
majority's day today or at home your your daytoday.
36:39
Life will change. If the way you think about
36:40
Muharram and the way you think about God is different, that's
36:43
the first thing I want to say. The second thing I want to say
36:45
is, is that these nights are so powerful, so powerful, your dog
36:50
will be answered. You know, I remember and I
36:52
mentioned this one before in the music podcast.
36:55
When I was maybe 1617, I was the biggest addict to music.
37:01
Like, I used to listen to everything.
37:03
I used to probably spend about 5 hours a day, six hours a day
37:06
listening to music. Imagine how many songs I That's
37:08
probably 100 songs a day. It's crazy.
37:11
Eva Marshall Law. I remember I went to a seminar
37:14
and the The Sheik mentioned he goes, if you want to make a
37:16
change, do it tonight. And I promise you that change
37:19
will stay. And I went home.
37:21
I deleted all the music off my phone.
37:23
I made a. I pledge them up sounds.
37:24
I'm never gonna listen to music again.
37:26
For me, Hamdala so far it's worked.
37:29
What I'm trying to say is that don't underestimate from the
37:31
sisters what benefit, what impact these Knights can have.
37:35
Because whatever you do now, whatever pledge and change you
37:38
make now you can keep it going. So don't underestimate yourself.
37:43
You should value. The the willpower that I was
37:46
giving you, and you should make the most of it because you're
37:48
going to be entering an environment where there is no
37:50
music, where you're probably not going to be running into girls
37:52
like usually are and so on and so forth.
37:55
So make a pledge to be better. And that's why I think this
37:58
angry and ego topic is a really good place to start because
38:01
we've got now hopefully a foothold on on an area in all of
38:05
our lives we can improve on. But I just want to mention this
38:07
because obviously now we're reaching the end of the
38:09
conversation. Obviously we're approaching
38:10
Muharram, but I think this is like a golden opportunity for
38:13
all of us. And I don't want it to be a
38:16
wasted month. Well, I really don't want it.
38:18
I want anyone who's listening, anyone who's part of our digital
38:21
community to like, work with us, journey with us, like to become
38:26
better people. Sharla, no, you're right.
38:28
You know Muharram is a month. And Sharla, that's life changing
38:32
for all of us, Myself, Yasir, said.
38:34
Mushtaba, yourself, Ahmed, yeah, and everyone listening and
38:37
watching and in fact, not just us, the entire Muslim world.
38:40
You know as Muslims we normally look at Aramavan and we say you
38:43
know what, this month we're going to be better, you know and
38:46
you know we want to get closer to a loss upon with Allah.
38:49
I know being sheer and you know being Muharram coming around the
38:53
corner now it is the best opportunity for all of us to say
38:56
you know what similar to your pledge, you know let's make like
38:59
a pledge with ABBA Abdullah Hussain Ali.
39:02
You know let's when you while you were talking, you know, I
39:05
was thinking of Sala. The one one thing that I've like
39:08
become better is Salah. The obligatory prayers and the
39:13
way we, you know, focus on them, everything, because I was
39:15
remembering right now as you were saying your point.
39:19
Imam Al Hussain on the day of Ashura still went to pray.
39:22
You know he still, you know he established Salah in the middle
39:26
of battle and while he was praying there was some arrows
39:29
being fired, but that didn't stop them, you know, being
39:32
obedient to a loss. Apana, what's Allah because he
39:34
knows the ultimate goal. It's pleasing a loss upon the
39:36
Latila and and and I think that's something I can work on
39:40
myself. Of course speaking about our
39:41
personal, you know, things that we want to improve on.
39:44
I think this is one thing that we can continue on throughout.
39:47
That's what I think is beautiful for me personally.
39:49
Muharram, that Muharram is the month that humbles me.
39:52
Muharram is the month that calms me down.
39:54
Muharram is the month that you know, I can be patient about
39:57
everything because when we get impatient and we can remember
39:59
you know, the patients. Of, say, the Zane Absalom.
40:02
What I want to ask you, sorry on this point is that when you look
40:06
at Muharram and you look at about Abdullah, look at Marvin
40:08
Hosseini Islam, do you like, consciously recognize?
40:12
I know you do, but I'm asking for the sake.
40:13
Of the hope I do. Do you consciously recognize
40:16
that Kadabala was not Kadabala for the sake of what happened
40:20
back then and it's just a tragedy we mourn?
40:23
Rather, Karbala is a tragedy we mourn, but also Imam Hussein and
40:27
Islam did it for a reason and that's to push people towards
40:30
God. Of course.
40:31
You get me that the Karbala was the beginning.
40:34
It's not the end of the story that we don't stop with Karbala.
40:37
Look at many millions of Muslims who are Muslims today, or call
40:40
themselves Muslims, or label themselves as lovers of the
40:42
Helen Bates bro. Honestly.
40:44
Yeah, Sir Ahmed, it's because of Karbala.
40:47
What what is that magnet that drives us towards a lost one?
40:50
What's the magnet that makes us, you know, want to rethink and
40:53
look back and try and prove ourselves as Muslims is Karbala.
40:56
Ultimately, Muharram is a place where we can go 10 nights and
40:59
learn life lessons, learn you know, how to improve ourselves
41:02
as a Muslim, learn new knowledge, learn, you know,
41:04
seeking closeness for lost one Watala, all the lectures, all
41:06
the sermons, all the, you know, eulogies that sometimes we hear.
41:10
These are things that makes us connect to the lost one.
41:12
Watala. That's me on a personal level.
41:14
And Charlotte's, you know, people have other.
41:17
Ways of connecting with a lot during this month, but what
41:20
about you guys? I remember two years ago I
41:23
started a lecture once on the 10th night of Muharram and I
41:29
started it with of course. This is night to night Day 9.
41:35
Day nine, yeah, nights of the 10th, and when I finished the
41:38
Arabic start of my lecture, I said as the 10th night
41:42
approaches us. We remember everything we've
41:45
done. So I started talking about from
41:47
a servant point of view, that there are people that hoovered
41:50
the carpets for the past nine days.
41:52
There are people that serve Chai, cooked food, cleaned the
41:55
merge list, gave bags for shoes, picked up shoes.
41:58
There's so much, there's so much that you did in that Windows 10
42:02
night. But I realized that as soon as
42:04
you finish with the maktan and the maktan's done and you move
42:07
over to, let's say, day 15 of my other, you're back to your old
42:11
self. Yeah, so.
42:12
It's like as soon as you hit Muharram, you changed.
42:15
You know this guy. Everyone's seen you in the
42:17
dishdasher. You're not listening to music,
42:19
you're not swearing, you're popping in your zone.
42:22
All you care about is your mum is in a lot, but as soon as
42:25
that, the 10 nights finish, it's like all of that went to waste
42:29
and you've gone back to your normal self.
42:33
I realized something in Muharram is that especially in in
42:37
majority, where you serve. You can always see I'm bringing
42:41
it back to ego. By the way, ego and anger is
42:44
that you can always see ego and angering people that if you tell
42:47
someone, say I leave you just just clean, just tidy up the
42:51
shoes, you know, put them with pairs, put them in lines, said I
42:55
leave for example, in his heart, like me.
42:57
Say Ali here. I'm saying Ali, lovely.
43:00
Why am I going to touch people's shoes?
43:02
It's a it's an example. It's an example.
43:04
I don't know. I keep using you.
43:05
I'm sorry. I'll kiss your.
43:06
Shoe. I'm sorry last but then I can
43:10
also someone can also come to me and it's happened before and
43:13
they'll be like can you go clean the toilets now?
43:16
Cleaning a toilet after 2000 people just went to it.
43:19
It's a very very hard task to tell someone.
43:23
So if I if my ego was high and I.
43:26
Outs in So there's degrading. Why?
43:28
Why you asking me to clean the toilets?
43:30
You're telling me to do something better?
43:32
So because in Muhammad I see a lot of people drop their ego
43:36
that whatever whatever you want me to do, it's awful about
43:38
Abdullah. You want me to clean the
43:39
toilets? Y'allah, where's the I'll go
43:41
clean it straight away. But after those ten nights when
43:45
someone drops a comment? When their mom, for example,
43:48
doesn't make them the food they like, throw away, they're angry.
43:50
Ah, or their teacher drops a comment.
43:53
Why are you late to school? You didn't do your homework.
43:55
That ego's getting built back up Because now they're thinking,
43:58
OK, I'm outside of Mahatam, it's not for you.
44:00
I'm saying anymore. Let me lash out.
44:03
We're doing it for the sake of sorry bro.
44:05
We're doing it because you know, that's expected of you in that
44:07
environment if I don't. If I don't help people pass out
44:12
food, or if I don't say I don't put on the act, then I'm
44:17
excluded. Do you get like people will do
44:19
things because it's socially what's expected of them?
44:22
For you guys especially, I don't mean to be like forward, but for
44:24
the Iraqi youth in London, for you guys, there's a culture
44:28
which is visible when it comes to Maharm.
44:30
So you guys dress the same, you have the same terminology,
44:33
you'll do the same kidma. And that kind of stuff compared
44:36
to what's in my community is a bit different, right in the way
44:38
we put ourselves forward. But for you guys, it's like if
44:41
you want to be part of this youth group or if you want to be
44:44
part of this social group, then you've got to be like us.
44:48
And that in that environment of majority's you will dress that
44:51
way. You'll perform the same thing.
44:52
They hand out the water bottles and pick up the shoes and
44:54
whatnot, but outside of the majority's not doing it.
44:57
So even if you're doing it and you agree to mop the flaws in
45:00
the toilets for example, don't do it because.
45:03
You're doing it because it's expected of you in that circle,
45:06
but outside of that you wouldn't do it.
45:07
Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah.
45:08
So like if in, in, in, in the first night of Muharram, you're
45:11
doing hidden that night, but in the daytime when you're at
45:13
school or at work? You're doing the opposite.
45:15
You're you're yourself. But then you go to Pajalis and
45:17
you're all your boys are there and the chef's watching you and
45:19
then you. You're you're on a matting.
45:21
Yeah. It's actually it's if, if I want
45:23
to talk about the youngest like me.
45:25
In Muhadlam, it's a whole different thing.
45:27
And I still remember when I was in high school, during school,
45:30
I'm still chatting to my bedrooms.
45:32
I'm still chatting, cracking drugs, speaking to the girls,
45:35
shouting at my teacher. Yeah, yeah.
45:37
Three hours later I'm. I don't even raise my voice.
45:40
You can't even hear my voice. I'm quiet, I'm cleaning the
45:43
carpet, I'm giving out food. So it's a whole different
45:46
person. But why does that only have to
45:48
be in Muhadla? Or why does it only start when
45:50
you enter the medulus? Something that I've done that
45:53
really changed my life is that I had to become very conscious of
45:57
myself. That for a minute of a minute of
46:00
the day, instead of thinking about what people think of me,
46:03
what do I think of myself? What do I see when I look in the
46:06
mirror that I see a you that when I'm in school I'm chatting
46:09
this way, but when I go to the meds list, I'm chatting this
46:11
way. There are people that I used to
46:14
chill with. I used to be their friends.
46:16
Well, a lot. I mean before the Med list, they
46:18
might be on the phone talking to their girlfriend.
46:21
Saying, yeah, I'm just going to the mosque.
46:22
You can't call me when I finish. I'll call you and have a
46:25
relationship. Look, what are you doing?
46:26
And I didn't mention this. I'll see him cleaning the
46:29
carpets. Now he starts.
46:31
He's crying out all of that. He's crying knock on starts shut
46:35
off. He's doing knock on.
46:36
He's in the middle. Look, what are you doing?
46:38
What's happening? So so if we want to talk about
46:41
about about how someone can step out of that.
46:45
Thank you for using said earlier.
46:47
That one I just. I kept it.
46:48
I kept it. No names.
46:50
So so I really. Realized that one thing if you
46:52
want to control your ego or if you want to become a man that
46:55
surrounds yourself with kidney is that you to surround yourself
46:58
with good friends. I saw I used to be with people
47:02
that might all they cared about in life.
47:04
All they cared about in life was money, whether it was halal or
47:09
Haram. And all they and the other thing
47:11
that they cared about was girls. That's it.
47:14
They didn't care if their Mama was all right, if their friends
47:16
are OK, if they, if their homework is done, what's going
47:19
to happen in the future? The wife?
47:21
Children. University.
47:23
They didn't care. So if you want to better
47:25
yourself in Muharram and then outside of Muharram and get rid
47:28
of ego, get rid of anger, you need to get better friends.
47:32
For a year of my life, or nearly two years, I had no friends.
47:35
I had to get rid of my whole circle, my whole circle that, as
47:39
I said, cared about money and girls.
47:41
Now imagine me. I'm still a young Gee.
47:43
I'm 16. Why am I alone?
47:46
I'm going to school. I don't speak to anyone.
47:48
They're like, why don't you speak to us?
47:49
I'm like, bro, I'm not about that life.
47:51
Leave me alone. I'm going home.
47:53
My mom's like it's 4:00 PM. Used to come home at 8:10.
47:56
What are you doing? There's no one to do anything
48:00
without. They're on a different
48:01
wavelength to me. So if you want to, if you want
48:04
to make a change, one genuine advice I'll give you from a
48:08
personal perspective is that you need to change your circle.
48:11
Because once you change your circle, you're now changing how
48:15
your brain thinks. You're changing your brain from
48:17
thinking, OK, let's make money. Doesn't matter.
48:19
Let me chat to this girl. Let me chat to this thing.
48:21
No, now you're changing it to. But have you had that bank in La
48:25
Brea that got out yesterday? Yeah.
48:27
Or your dimension starts at 7. You're not.
48:29
Let's leave. Yeah, you get it.
48:31
Or or we'll share lectures between each other.
48:33
Or even we'll talk about lecturers.
48:35
Boy, did you hear what that guy said.
48:37
So when I changed my circle. Everything else changed.
48:41
I now don't need to talk about how much money I made yesterday
48:44
and how I did it or look at such.
48:46
I'm trying to this girl no I've changed it to or there's a
48:50
banging like me to listen to Boston cabin like he dropped a
48:52
banger said I did another way dropped a banger him and I
48:57
should hide that it was a banger or or or guys Hannah cares Ekbar
49:02
shababs are playing their starting 30 minutes Let's go
49:04
let's make the mention is it's Friday let's go.
49:08
So because of that. Your anger and ego can change.
49:11
That's true. Stanmore.
49:13
Sorry Stanmore. Stanmore and Ramavan is a go to
49:16
place now. I'll be honest with you Cuckoo
49:17
Parker, shout out to the mandam. One more thing I'll say before
49:21
before I finish off and I've been offering a lot.
49:23
Is that one more thing that you can do to stop anger and ego.
49:26
I'll say is, is after you've set this goal that I said that you
49:30
want to be a servant of your mum.
49:31
Hussein is is. First of all surround yourself
49:35
with some religious aspects that might help you.
49:38
I I once read the Quranic Iowa, a loss of Quran says them the
49:41
best of people, the most honourable of people are the
49:45
ones that have takla. Now I thought of it in a way
49:49
different way that a lot of people think of it.
49:51
I saw it as a loss of haunt. I said people.
49:54
When you said people, that means that you don't have to be an
49:58
imam to have takla. You don't have to be able to
50:01
have takla. But you can be a normal person
50:04
and you can attain Takwa. So then I research what Takwa
50:07
is. Takwa comes from the World War
50:08
I, which means that you have to avoid sinning.
50:12
I always thought of Takwa as you have to fear God and be scared
50:16
of your actions. But once I saw in the other
50:18
scope of avoiding sinning, I was like, OK, you need to avoid
50:22
sinning. How do you avoid sinning?
50:24
If you get rid of your anger and ego, it becomes a very simple
50:27
task because now you're not thinking but I'm the ass or
50:30
healthy. All chat to me this way, that's
50:33
a sin. Even you thinking you're better
50:35
than someone, you're that's a sin.
50:36
There's only one person that's the best and that's Allah.
50:39
And that's what we say how many times a day.
50:41
Allahu Ekwad. So once you surround yourself
50:44
with these religious aspects and think about it a bit more and
50:48
actually surround yourself with people that also give you these
50:51
religious aspects. You can get rid of anger and ego
50:54
in a very simple way. Very simple way.
50:56
I'm happy to surround myself with you.
50:58
Have you seen the likewise? I'm always.
51:00
Learning from this from this guy and gem.
51:03
Inspires us. Obviously.
51:04
You like you're part of the family as well, man.
51:07
We're very lucky to have you as a guest and also outside of our
51:10
team. You know we love you.
51:13
To bits. I love you too.
51:14
Have you remember that podcast? Is that I love you?
51:17
Yes. And was that.
51:18
What was that about two weeks ago?
51:19
Friendship ones I. Think that I'm talking about
51:22
toxic friends. I think something like.
51:23
That, yeah, I can't remember that.
51:25
All right, guys. Thank you very much.
51:28
And you know, in Charlotte these coming days will be beneficial
51:31
for us as we prepare for the holy month.
51:33
And in Charlotte, we can go on this journey together.
51:36
We can learn from each other. We want to learn from you.
51:38
We want to hear from you. You know we are as we always
51:41
just say. We're just trying to to grow,
51:44
learn and serve. So in order to do that we need
51:47
to hear more from you. So we've handled out, we've been
51:49
getting some really, really nice comments on YouTube, on
51:53
Instagram, a lot of Dm's as well.
51:55
But keep it coming, keep it coming.
51:56
We are trying our absolute best to to grow and to take on your
52:02
suggestions and feedback. So we need to hear more from
52:04
you. So yeah, if you haven't hit the
52:06
subscribe button, all the notification, but make sure we
52:08
do. We have so much content coming
52:10
out Charlotte in the coming month.
52:12
Stay tuned, said anything sad. I will just say, you know, the
52:14
month of Muharram now technically here, just a few
52:17
days from it, is that, you know, let's remember Imam Hussein for
52:20
a moment, you know, and we spoke about anger and ego.
52:23
You know, we are angry people. Hussein was a soft hearted
52:27
individual. He was like one of the most
52:29
sweetest, kindest, noblest, holiest Imam anyone can relate
52:33
to in Charlotte. We can take him as an example
52:35
and implement, you know, some of his good characteristics into
52:38
our lives. Thank you for tuning guys.
52:42
Thank you very much. Thank you very much.
52:44
We'll see you next week.