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Reaching the Next Generation: A Conversation with Ernie Lane · Growing Disciples: Faith at Home with Chatham Families

• Episode 4: Intro: Well, welcome to Growing Disciples: Faith at Home with Chatham Families, a podcast for families who want to follow Jesus faithfully and nurture faith at home with confidence and joy. My name is Elizabeth Lindbergh, the Director of Family Ministries at Chatham Community Church and host of the Growing Disciples Podcast. And if this is your first time joining us, we want you to know the heart behind this podcast. We're here to encourage families to see the ordinary moments of life, even the messy ones. as opportunities to point the people they love to Jesus. And one of the things we'll do on this podcast is sit down with the ministry leaders at Chatham Community Church who serve our young people week in and week out. And if you have a student in middle school or high school, there's a good chance you've met Ernie Lane, our Mosaic Student Ministry Director. He is the loving force behind this great ministry. And I invited Ernie to join me on the podcast to share a little bit about himself and what's ahead for Mosaic this coming year. I know you'll enjoy this conversation, so let's jump in. Ernie for real: Ernie, thanks so much for being here. Thank you so much for having me. Me too. I've had the privilege of working with Ernie for a few years now, both on staff of the church and as a volunteer for Mosaic Youth, and I've just seen him just build this ministry, pour into the kids, just with such love and excitement. And so I just delight in being a part of this ministry because of the energy he brings and the love for Jesus and the love for the kids that he brings. so Ernie, tell us a little bit about your family. What's your life look like outside of church these days? yeah, so I have been married for 18 years now to my wife Katie. we have two girls, Riley, who is a ninth grader, and Kylie, who is a third grader. so outside of church, it's a lot of Ubering, which a lot of parents deal with. so doing a lot of that doing family stuff trying to take time to spend with them Awesome. And so share a little bit about your your story. What led you into youth ministry? Yeah, so around right after Kylie was born, 2018, we were just not really excited about childcare. And so Katie and I had talked, prayed on it and I ended being a stay at home dad and at the time Steve DeMaio was here and he invited me to do an internship over the summer and I was just like Steve I'm too old to do an internship and he was like no you'll be great so I worked actually worked as an intern for Chatham Kids over the summer in twenty nineteen and Then it started, he was Hey, we need somebody to start cleaning our Chatham Mill space. And so I was just cleaning five hours a week and did that for a couple years and I've always just kind of said yes. one of the things I constantly have to work on is my boundaries. but it just doors just kept opening and the Lord was just there. And I remember there was one night I was cleaning windows in the like little vestibule at Chatham Mills and I was listening to a sermon. He was a guest preacher. at the podcast I was listening to and his name's Paul Dolltree and he had sermon he called the the Master Key and it was just this thing of saying like has equipped us. And and his story, his illustration is he was working at his dad's church and he wanted the master key because he's like, Dad, I earned this. Like I can I need a key to get in everywhere. I want you know I want to be able to get in. And he's like, no, you just need the key to your office. And after his dad had passed, he was calling security and said, hey, can you come let me into worship space? Because he thought he just had a key to his office. And security said, I'll be there in an hour. This is a big church in Oklahoma. And he okay, well I'm just gonna force this key into the door and just push it and he says but I put it in it just went right in and he goes huh and then I turned the key and and it opened the door he goes I've had the master key this whole time like from the time he got hired and he just thought he had a key to the door yeah that just really I mean it really brought me to my knees. and it just let me know that you know, God's been with me. I I knew he'd been with me every step of the way, but like in the in the spaces where I didn't feel confident, in the spaces where I like, I'm not enough, he basically said, I'm with you, I'm gonna equip you. And and so from that step forward I just like started saying yes, even more, but in in a direction of pursuing ministry. And but it's just hot. I've never listened to that pastor at any other of his other sermons. I'll listen to that one every once in a while again. it was just a powerful moment that I needed to hear and it reminds me of he's going to equip me. And so that just really really made me say yes to anything that God calls me to do, I'm gonna say yes. I just love how the Lord, you know, he sees us like you said and he knows our heart and he gives us those messages right at the perfect moments where we're ready to receive them and then they're transformational. So here's a pastor that you, you know, have never listened to since maybe or very rarely and and he gave you that message to sp speak directly to your heart and give and opened up a space for you. And I just I love that. so you you did kids ministry, you were doing maintenance how did you get into youth ministry? Yeah, so I it's funny because we had a youth pastor here before and I was before I even started serving with Chatham Kids, I'd been on what we called the Sunday crew. And that we were a setup and breakdown church at the time. So we were bringing in two trailers every week, setting up children's space, the worship space, everything and this youth pastor was like, Hey man, would you come work with us? And I was like, sure, but let me talk to to Katie and I think that if I had said yes, that would have been trouble at home. I I had too much on my plate. he understood, but it was always kinda I guess in the back of my mind. and then it was I guess around twenty twenty one We were in the midst of searching for a youth pastor volunteered it was helping with middle school ministry. We had volunteers helping with high school ministry and it was supposed to be a six month search and it turned it into a longer search, which that's how it happens with churches. And so I came in and started helping out and then Alex asked if I'd come in Alex is a great recruiter. started serving and just kinda fell into it a little bit but it was another yes and I was just like this is a ministry that I can go into and I did that and then the leader that was there left. and so it was me kind of running it and then we hired a youth pastor and I was able to stay for a while and then took a another job then after about a year of doing that other job there was an opening again and it was like okay so we're doing twenty hours facilities 'cause we had two locations at the time and then twenty hours youth ministry. Since then it's just grown and it's been amazing to see. this is I think we're gonna have our oldest ministry since I've been here. So we're gonna have more high schoolers this year than middle schoolers was which is amazing because when you be when you get in high school and you can drive and you have all these other extracurriculars that are pooling you, the fact that you're willing to come on a Sunday afternoon to basically have your service is just something that's amazing. I remember this past January I was when groups To small groups and we have all our leaders able to attend. I go and try to meet the parents outside when they're pulling up. And I walked outside and I was like, and I know everybody's cars. And I was like, we have more student cars here than leaders at the time. And it was it was just one of those wow moments for me. I was this is this is a really cool. Yeah. And I started volunteering at the about the time when you started leading. Yeah. And and so yeah, to see, to be on the front row seat, if you will, to watch this ministry. Grow and watch you grow into the ministry has been such a joy. I just want to say that. It's been such a joy. Yeah. I'm I'm thankful that you've been there because we definitely need our leaders. I mean like I created these goals in talking to other youth pastors and one of them is just to have strong leaders for small groups and and thankfully you're one of them. Yeah, and and that's the thing you're that you're also really good at is is is sharing that role and it's not so it's not about Ernie, it's about the kids and so you want to bring those leaders in to to be able to minister to get to know all those kids and you and you encourage that in all of us a lot. So that's great leadership there. Yeah. And and I'm I'm thankful, you know, those of y'all might not notice but Elizabeth's part of our teaching team. So like I don't want our students to hear one voice. So I've been blessed to have three people that are willing to teach our students and and shepherd them and and just come alongside and you're one of and David and Bella and it's been amazing. Yeah. Yeah, it's an X awesome feature. And the youth youth band too. Yeah. That's awesome. Caitlin does a wonderful job with that. So and they're legit. Yeah, they're they're they're amazing. I mean it's It's great when we have youth Sundays for our worship team to be able to lead our our church as a whole and to hear the feedback from you know not just parents but even like other people from the church. Absolutely. so what's one of the things because I know you you do early morning Bible studies, you take the kids on trips over the summer, you have these game and hang nights over the summer, and then of course regular youth ministry throughout the year. What's the w what do you you love most about working with students Whether it's relationship building or even during services and and small groups and hearing them talk, like I'm learning from them just as much as I feel like they learn from me or the other leaders. their perspective and their vision on scripture sometimes, is amazing and it really seems to come into play a lot, during our Thursday morning Bible study. It's our high school students will come there at seven AM before school starts. we fluctuated from the years from like four students to I think we've had up as much as sixteen at seven AM and it's amazing. But like there was one time we were just going through the book of Romans we're we're going verse by verse, they were like, What does that mean? I said, you know, this is one of the verses I struggle with. And so I have to look at, commentary and things like that. And one of the students was like, Well, I kinda feel like it's this. And she just went into, you know, like a three minute thing of talking about why she thought it was this way and all that, and even pulled other verses, and I was like, that's probably the clearest and concise way I've ever heard it. And and this was c from a this was a junior at the time. So I mean it's pretty amazing. So it's when they can I guess the the surprising thing and the most awesome thing I get to witness is them teaching me. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mm-hmm. And it just it makes me to you know to keep coming back for work. For sure. Yeah. Yeah, that's it's contagious. Yeah. every year you do a ton of work throughout the whole year to bring the kids to fugge camp over the summer. Right. Right. And It's it's just incredible from the fundraising and just all the prep work that and and the kids take ownership in that. can you share a couple of highlights from this past summer? Yeah. this is my third year going to fuge camp and we've had a blast every year. It's been amazing. our church supports us so well. I'm so thankful for our church. It really eases the brain. burden on our parents having to to to come up with this money for the camp. And I remember my first year and this was the first time leading or attending the camp. And and I remember Like the students that gave their life to Christ or reaffirmed their faith was just something that blew me away. Because very early on, I was like, I kind of had this, I guess, agreement with God is like, I don't need to see the fruit. Like, just let me be, you know, a good gardener for you. And it was like I got to see some fruit, you know, and I was just like, this is awesome. And and same thing the second year. We just had another handful, I think it was like six the first year, maybe five or seven to second year. And then this year, we didn't have anybody. And I was like, you know what though, that's okay. Cause it shows how and we took the the most students we've ever taken. It shows how mature in our faith our students are. From from Chatham kids to Mosaic, like where they're getting fed early on and and they're already there. But then there's this other thing. I was talking to one of our students and he goes, you know, every year I feel like this electric buzz when I get to camp. Like I just feel this like tingling sensation over my body going to camp and he goes and this year I didn't feel it and I was like okay I was like well what you know what happened he goes I said you know are you okay with camp? Does something happen to camp he was like no it was just it ended up being better. Like after that first day it was like I could feel like God was talking to me more. Like I felt the excitement of coming to camp my first two years, but this past year I just felt like he had a mission for me. And so I just started leaning into that and so I think one of the things that like I really enjoy from camp is year was I had more in depth conversations than I've ever had. and they were conversations of growth between the student and God. It wasn't necessarily like, yeah, I think I want to invite Jesus into my heart or, you know, how do I do this? Or, you know, it was just like they're already there and they just wanna share it. And that was an amazing part. And then think I was telling one of my leaders, I was like, I think I had more conversations with students, like with one or two students just Hey, can I talk to you? Hey, can I talk to you? And I like, sure. And some of are great, some of were like some of were heartbreaking. but the fact that we're at that moment now where they're willing to come pull me aside or pull another leader aside and share and talk and just want to get something off their chest or celebrate something. And I was like, that was my that was just an awesome moment this past year. Yeah, building the trust, building the relationships, the maturity. And like you said, the older the the ministry itself is older than it's ever been. So you've got these mature young men and women that are participating in and modeling to these to the new kids that are coming up. Right. So I spoke in another podcast how I volunteer in the fourth and fifth grade classrooms and it's it's just so it's such a gift to watch the maturity level from the fourth and fifth grade graders, their interest in scripture, their maturity level and their faith, and then watch them come into to Mosaic youth. And it's just so fun to watch their enthusiasm and then to watch them go into church with their families, Bible in hand, you know, journal and pen in hand, sitting there in the second row with their mom or dad and just engaging and making Like this is their church, you know, and you say this to the kids all the time, that this is their church. it's not their parents' church. And so you foster that environment where they're making their faith their own. and your humility I I think just really accelerates that. So yeah. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, th yeah, I I tell all the time, like, you are the church of today. Like you can be the church leaders of tomorrow, but don't ever say that you're the church of tomorrow because that's not true. Yeah, for sure. You've talked a little bit, but is there a way that you feel like God's growing you or teaching you personally, and in and in your ministry? Yeah, I think that one of the things that I I talked about boundaries earlier. and I think that especially my first year because I was just trying to figure everything out. Like I didn't go to seminary, and I've just trusted that God's gonna equip me and surround me with people who are gonna pour into me and He's done that over and over again. And I couldn't hand pick the people that he's put in my life. You know, it's it's been totally him. But one of the things that I think is in my control is where I set boundaries of like rhythms of rest, to be with the family, last year was the first time me and the girls actually went on a beach vacation. since they were born basically. and it was just we always had an excuse not to. I remember coming back the first year of camp and Pastor Jaime was like, Okay, don't show up on Sunday and I was like, I'll be fine. He goes, No, I want you to go away because you're gonna start doing work again. And so like he helped with those boundaries at the time, but I learned from that, so I don't, you know, I I go forward with what he taught me two years ago. And so I still have to lean into the boundary and making sure that I'm creating space for my family. and then the other thing was that I just learned this past spring I was already feeling it. I just didn't know how to put words to it and This I went to a youth leadership conference and my wife and Katie went with me as well and it just talked about how ministry can be you can find yourself on an island sometimes and it can be very lonely. and they were like, No, you can be surrounded by the congregation, you can be surrounded by leaders, you can be surrounded by students, but there could be times where you feel isolated. And and Katie and I really started to feel that. And so I guess the thing that I really started to lean into was trusting the people that God Brought into our lives a little bit more, and and he's like, I'm gonna create people, a community for you that you can lean into that you can trust because just like with everything else that goes on in our life, there will be hard moments, and you don't always want to share everything where you work but you can get people that you trust, and you have people that you know they'll be there for you. And I feel like Katie and I have really gotten so of those people in our lives recently and it's been pretty amazing and trusting the Lord even when the seasons kind of change for us and not big season changes but it's just just making sure that that I keep saying yes like I did you know those years ago I feel like he's he'll always continue to teach me and I'm always gonna be willing to learn so I think we have that agreement down path But think that's the biggest thing right now. Let's just continue to work on our boundaries and and and holding on to those those groups of people that the Lord brings in our lives to to you know really help us and protect us in you know in some tough seasons sometimes. Yeah, I think that's I'm so glad to hear that because I I've I've watched you in ministry and you have such a giving spirit about you and your willingness to say yes to a lot. But you're right. it's good advice that you got that ministry can be. We don't think that it is because you're surrounded by so many people. But yeah, I had a I had somebody dear to me say that once. She said if you know, ministry could be a lonely place, so don't hesitate to reach out. and so that was that was affirming and encouraging at the same time. Right. what's one prayer or something you're praying for over teens and families this year? I was just talking to a family about this yesterday. I just want them to know that they don't have to do this alone. Like whatever they're going through, especially our students, that they don't have to to handle everything alone. That that we we're here for them. one of my prayers is that as I start to have these conversations with students, as we start to develop this trust, I'm starting to get some, you know, like I said, some great conversations, but then also very heartbreaking conversations with students and and you know, a couple of I've talked to I was like, How long have you, you know, carried this alone? And they were like, Three years, five years. And it's just it's heartbreaking for them to to have things that they know aren't good for them. They know that God didn't create them. but it's something that they wrestle with. And they're trying to do it alone. So I really pray that that they're willing to if they're not going to talk to me, talk to a leader, share with another peer, you know, at the very least. or talk to their parents. And then if they're talking to their parents that their parents trust and know that we're here for them. That's my biggest prayers. I just want them to know that, you know, we're a community. Jesus had his own community and and he was the perfect model for it. And that we need that as well. and here here is God in the flesh. Yet he still wanted community. And I think that's something we should strive for as well. Yeah. Yeah, I like in in every single one of your emails that go out to families, you include parents, how can we help you? How can we come alongside you? And and that's an earnest I hear that I read that and I think that's so Ernie, that's so his heart. 'Cause you s you sincerely mean that. You're not it's not just a a throwaway line at the end of your email. You mean it. And And and that's sort of a part of the function of this actual this podcast is because we want to make resources available and ourselves available as ministry leaders to our parents and families. So to to sort of bridge that gap if there is one. And yeah, we encourage all of us, Cynthia, Ernie, me, our pastors, you know, we all welcome you know, an email or phone call, whatever, catching us on Sunday and saying, Hey, this is an issue. you know, can you help? I had a a a mom pull me aside not too long ago and she's like, This is what's going on and and I listened and I, you know, I offered some resources that I in a follow-up email, but I think part of it was she just she just needed to s to talk about it, you know, and I was so honored that she pulled me aside and you know I continue to pray for that situation, their family. But yeah, I mean your parents are not in this alone. We're a community to to to grow our ourselves closer to the Lord and also to lead our families and sometimes we just need someone to come alongside us and encouragement, prayer, a resource, whatnot. So What are you excited for this year? Like I said, we're th we're gonna be probably our oldest we've ever been. and so that with that brings new challenges. But it I mean, I'm excited for it. the one thing that very early on when I started, the ministry was separated. We had a middle school only ministry and a high school only ministry. And when I said we're gonna join them together, one of it was because of lack of, bodies to be able to to to shepherd and and lead these students. And but the other thing was I wanted our high school students to be able to model Christ to our middle school students. And the biggest pushback I got from high school students was like, middle schooler too immature and I'm like, Yeah, you were a middle schooler last year, some of you. So but I'm just excited to see how the ministry grows with our high school students being able to shepherd our and disciple some of our middle school students. I've had a couple of them already reach out to me is like, is it okay if I go work with the middle school students for some of the small groups? And I'm like, we'll talk about it. That's a great idea. But you know, I don't want you to be neglected by you always teaching or working with middle school students. So we'll have to find boundaries there to make that work. But I'm excited about that. will host our second youth conference this year in October. Last year was the first year and you know, any time you do something the first time, like there's a lot of things to learn from and and I I feel like we've done that. think we had like a a hundred and thirty, hundred and twenty students last year and we'll see where the Lord brings us what what he brings us this year, but I'm excited about that. we'll you know we'll have our community fest and the students get to serve then and so our fall festival and so I'm just excited for the season. We're still gonna build on relationships, but the key focus at this point now is getting into the word with God and learning from him. So for a parent that does not yet have their their student in this ministry, so what is it what does it look like? What are the times? You know, what does that look like when on a Sunday? we will have like snacks and some games out that they can play, board games, card games, things like that. And that's where they just really kinda hang out, you know. a lot of our students come from so many different schools and some of this is the only time during the week they get to see some each other. So it's a time for them to they to socialize, to talk. and then we go into the worship space, we have a game and we'll do announcements. our student either Caitlin or our student worship team will lead us in worship. and then we'll have a teaching. And then for about the last thirty, thirty-five minutes, we'll have we'll go into small groups. And small groups is based on whether you're a middle school or high school or whether you're a guy or a girl. And that to me that's like the best part, you know. As much as I love speaking, I the best part is when the students get to go into small groups, they get to discuss the lesson, discuss scripture, and they it's not about giving the right answer to the questions that are being posed to them, it's about starting conversations. And sometimes, you know, th it'll be one question that'll carry for thirty five minutes because, you know, the students like, Yeah, I I've dealt with that too, or this is how I handled that situation or whatever and they just start pouring in and that's that's when it's really amazing. sometimes there are gonna be weeks where yeah, we do just answer to questions, you know, and and and that's okay. but you know, it's really amazing to hear when when one ca one question or maybe it's not a question. Sometimes the questions aren't important, sometimes it's the presence of those around each other. And it's like, Hey, I've had a hard week this week. Can we talk about this? And I know that the students have done that before and that's an amazing thing as well. Yeah, yeah, it's such a gift, such a gift. And I will say this if if the student Aren't out at four o'clock because I know the parents will show up at four o'clock. They're not they're not playing around at that point. That's where the that's where the real work is happening. They're they're either finishing up a discussion or praying over each other. And so I promise you, I I always tell the students, please do not waste your parents' time. Tell them thank you for picking them up and bringing them here. And but we I I'll typically be out in the parking lot at that point. So I'm trying to to make sure they're coming out and not wasting time. That's right. Yeah, that is that's a good point. That's a good point because we do. do we as we sit in small group I I do kind of say, okay, well your parents are probably waiting for you outside. But but yeah, that's right. if we're late, it's typically for really good reasons. Absolutely. Yeah. So Ernie I'm just so grateful for you, grateful for your friendship and partnership in ministry and I'm grateful that you came here to talk with us today. Thank you. Thank you likewise Elizabeth.