Latest / Life Will Be the Death of Me with Chelsea Handler / It Takes Guts & Balls with Beth Stelling
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Okay, well, hello Catherine, Hi Chelsea, how are you. I'm
- 0:04Speaker 1: pretty good. I spent the weekend last weekend with my
- 0:07Speaker 1: parents who were passing through Californian. My husband and I
- 0:11Speaker 1: went up and stayed with them in Newhole Ranch near
- 0:14Speaker 1: Santa Clarita, which was all cowboy themed. My dad, as
- 0:17Speaker 1: you know, it was a big cowboy. Um. Yeah, the
- 0:21Speaker 1: whole the whole town was like cowboy themed. It was
- 0:24Speaker 1: very fun. I mean, if you want to see cowboys,
- 0:27Speaker 1: can't you just watch Yellowstone? Yeah? You know what, I
- 0:30Speaker 1: just need to do it. I do need to buite
- 0:32Speaker 1: the bullet and watch Yellowstone. Yeah yeah, Yellowstone is is
- 0:36Speaker 1: where all the cowboys are at. People in Whistler love
- 0:39Speaker 1: Yellowstone and my girlfriend Wendy Grilloh well sorry, Wendy monies
- 0:43Speaker 1: as on the show Yellowstone, and so I am legally
- 0:47Speaker 1: obligated to watch that out of friendship. So but she's
- 0:51Speaker 1: so good in it, and the show just got nominated
- 0:53Speaker 1: for a bunch of like awards, SAG Awards. So yeah,
- 0:56Speaker 1: really no reason not to watch a Catherine at this point. Okay,
- 0:59Speaker 1: after I brought it up, I've been home for a
- 1:02Speaker 1: week from Whistler or two weeks. I'm a little break
- 1:04Speaker 1: because I had some business to tend to in the
- 1:07Speaker 1: l A area, and it was very hard for me
- 1:09Speaker 1: to leave Whistler. I'm not gonna lie. My only incentivization
- 1:13Speaker 1: really was seeing Burton Bernice and coming home to them
- 1:16Speaker 1: and making sure that they still know who I am,
- 1:18Speaker 1: which they do, and they're actually really really cute and
- 1:21Speaker 1: they really love Joe now, so it's really sweet. Like
- 1:24Speaker 1: Bernice is is a little bit of a huja, you know,
- 1:27Speaker 1: she only likes men. She doesn't support she does not
- 1:30Speaker 1: support other women. She is not a champion of women.
- 1:33Speaker 1: And she started following him around. And then I said, but,
- 1:37Speaker 1: I said bert, I said, it's confusing because I call
- 1:40Speaker 1: them all Buddha. I called Joe Buddha. I don't think
- 1:43Speaker 1: I love that is squeezable is a Buddha? Where does
- 1:45Speaker 1: that come from? Just like bud I don't know. Like
- 1:48Speaker 1: I call my dogs Buddhas. I call my nieces and nephews,
- 1:51Speaker 1: you know, and I'm like pinching their bodies, well I
- 1:54Speaker 1: do a little bit more than their cheeks. But I
- 1:57Speaker 1: call everything that I love Buddha's. So I don't know
- 1:59Speaker 1: where that comes. I'm sure it makes Joe feel very
- 2:01Speaker 1: special that he's not the only one called that. But anyway,
- 2:04Speaker 1: Bernice has taken to Joe and she followed us in
- 2:06Speaker 1: the room and I told Joe that Birt had to
- 2:08Speaker 1: sleep in the bed with us because that's yeah. And
- 2:12Speaker 1: he said, I said, does that do you like when
- 2:14Speaker 1: Bert sleeps in the bed with us? And he said, well,
- 2:17Speaker 1: I like whatever you like. And I was like, you
- 2:19Speaker 1: know what, Joe, every answer is the right answer with him,
- 2:24Speaker 1: he really does. I really am going to write a
- 2:26Speaker 1: handbook for men, because he just says. The other day
- 2:28Speaker 1: I was I was doing a zoom for like two hours,
- 2:31Speaker 1: and you know that's a little bit much for me.
- 2:33Speaker 1: Two hours straight. I was like, whoa, And I just
- 2:36Speaker 1: needed my Canada Dry, like my diet. Canada Dry is
- 2:39Speaker 1: my like elixir for everything. And he I was thinking
- 2:43Speaker 1: about I was sitting at the table and was so
- 2:45Speaker 1: and I was like, oh God, I want that. I
- 2:46Speaker 1: when can I get a break to get up and
- 2:48Speaker 1: get that an addict? And then he I am, I'm addicted,
- 2:51Speaker 1: And he all of a sudden just came upstairs, walked
- 2:54Speaker 1: right to the fridge, took out in ginger ale and
- 2:56Speaker 1: put it in front of me, and I was like,
- 2:58Speaker 1: oh my god, you're my ginger ale all mate. He's
- 3:01Speaker 1: just like, fully read your mind. He does it all
- 3:03Speaker 1: the time. He does yesterday. He goes, I I was.
- 3:06Speaker 1: I kept putting my lip bomb down and he kept
- 3:08Speaker 1: picking it up, you know, because he always wants to
- 3:10Speaker 1: have my lip bomb for me, which is so sweet
- 3:11Speaker 1: because I'm also addicted to lip Bomb Canada Dry and
- 3:14Speaker 1: lip Bomb, and I'm an elderly woman. There are worse things.
- 3:19Speaker 1: And he was like, oh, and then I had my
- 3:21Speaker 1: purse and I went to grab my purse. He goes,
- 3:23Speaker 1: I am not going to tell you this again. You
- 3:25Speaker 1: are not ever carrying anything in my presence. And I
- 3:28Speaker 1: was like, honey, you are just too much. He's a hero.
- 3:32Speaker 1: Even my own purse he refuses to let me carry.
- 3:35Speaker 1: It's so cute. I like, how many women in America
- 3:39Speaker 1: are now in love with jokoy Oh? I think so,
- 3:41Speaker 1: I think so yeah. I got a lot of a
- 3:43Speaker 1: lot of d m s about it. It's really cute.
- 3:46Speaker 1: He's so lovable, Like I'm so in yeah, I'm so
- 3:49Speaker 1: into him, And it was nice. We just did a
- 3:51Speaker 1: show in Seattle. He was performing at that Sonics where
- 3:54Speaker 1: the Sonics used to play. It's called the Climate Pledge Arena,
- 3:57Speaker 1: but it was used to be called something else. And
- 3:58Speaker 1: he saw Eddie Murphy there when he was fifteen years
- 4:00Speaker 1: old and sat in like row fifteen, and so he
- 4:04Speaker 1: was able to have like that full circle moment. And
- 4:06Speaker 1: he sold out fourteen thousand tickets, four hundred actually in
- 4:11Speaker 1: this arena. And I got on stage as like a
- 4:14Speaker 1: surprise guest, and then he got on stage and it
- 4:16Speaker 1: was like the most incredible thing to see. It was emotional,
- 4:20Speaker 1: it was amazing. The guys from Boys two Men came
- 4:22Speaker 1: out and sang with him at the end. It was
- 4:25Speaker 1: just so cool. And he got really choked up during
- 4:28Speaker 1: his performance because I'm looking at just that is such
- 4:31Speaker 1: an insane amount of people to do stand up to
- 4:33Speaker 1: tell me this. I'm curious. Is there like a different
- 4:37Speaker 1: kind of comedy that you feel like plays to those
- 4:40Speaker 1: like massive arenas versus like more intimate venues or is
- 4:44Speaker 1: it just sort of like what you can sell out,
- 4:46Speaker 1: you can sell out. Yeah, No, I do think I
- 4:48Speaker 1: thought that because I was I was going up. I
- 4:50Speaker 1: was like, fuck, I gotta buck up. I'm like fourteen
- 4:53Speaker 1: thousand people, this is a line, and then I was like,
- 4:55Speaker 1: all right, you know, and I was like, this doesn't
- 4:57Speaker 1: really play, Like what jokes do you tell? Because you're
- 5:00Speaker 1: us not convinced that that amount of people are going
- 5:02Speaker 1: to be able to hear everything you're saying, even though
- 5:05Speaker 1: it's acoustically set up for them to hear you. So
- 5:09Speaker 1: it does play. It did work, And I said that
- 5:11Speaker 1: to him. I go, you know, I've always thought that
- 5:13Speaker 1: there was too many people for stand up, like it
- 5:14Speaker 1: doesn't provide the intimacy that stand up needs. But yeah,
- 5:18Speaker 1: I think some comics wouldn't play, and that kind of
- 5:21Speaker 1: big of a thing because there are different types of comics.
- 5:24Speaker 1: But it was great and he certainly count and I
- 5:28Speaker 1: actually was like, oh, I like this too. I didn't
- 5:30Speaker 1: think I would. I thought it would be too big.
- 5:33Speaker 1: He's so easy to be happy for, and it's it's
- 5:35Speaker 1: so easy to root for, you know, he's just like
- 5:38Speaker 1: kind and wonderful, like when it's actually funny. When he
- 5:42Speaker 1: helped us out the other week setting up and he
- 5:44Speaker 1: was our he was our producer for the day. Honestly,
- 5:47Speaker 1: that was the smoothest it's ever gone. I know, you
- 5:52Speaker 1: know what I was saying, I was talking to someone
- 5:54Speaker 1: about it, and I was like, the thing I love
- 5:56Speaker 1: about him so much is that he's so engaged with
- 5:59Speaker 1: every single person he speaks to, and that he pays
- 6:02Speaker 1: attention to everyone. It doesn't matter if it's a kid
- 6:05Speaker 1: or a relative or a stranger. He's always interested and
- 6:09Speaker 1: engaged and like present, and I'm always so like, I
- 6:13Speaker 1: love that sexy. Where do you think that comes from
- 6:16Speaker 1: for him? Is that upbringing? Is that just he's just
- 6:19Speaker 1: so humble? I guess you know, he's so humble. He's
- 6:21Speaker 1: just so sweet, and he really takes people in, you know,
- 6:25Speaker 1: like I've had so many boyfriends that just never really
- 6:28Speaker 1: took in my family or took the time. Like he's
- 6:31Speaker 1: on the phone with my sisters without me, with my nieces,
- 6:33Speaker 1: he's texting. It's just so sweet. And I kind of like,
- 6:37Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I have a team member now I'm
- 6:39Speaker 1: not just on my own. So that's that's the best
- 6:42Speaker 1: part too. That's wonderful. And he's ripped now, he's ripped
- 6:47Speaker 1: from skiing. He's like he lost six every morning I
- 6:50Speaker 1: weigh yourself. I don't understand what's going on. He would
- 6:52Speaker 1: lose a pound six ounces to a pound every day.
- 6:56Speaker 1: I was getting ready. I'm getting ready for this big
- 6:58Speaker 1: like campaign I'm doing with this athletic wear company, and
- 7:02Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm the one who needs to get my
- 7:03Speaker 1: body together, and he's just every day he's like more
- 7:06Speaker 1: and more shredded. I'm like, oh God, yeah, so hot
- 7:10Speaker 1: Joe Coiler. Watch out, guys, his underwear campaign is coming.
- 7:16Speaker 1: I'm very excited for our guest, as always, I'm always
- 7:18Speaker 1: excited for our guests because I just love doing this
- 7:20Speaker 1: podcast and seeing what people can contribute. A friend of
- 7:24Speaker 1: mine who's also a comedian, because I feel like female
- 7:27Speaker 1: comedians are pretty insightful. They have a lot of good
- 7:30Speaker 1: things to offer up, I think, and they're filled with
- 7:33Speaker 1: a lot of self confidence and self doubt, so you
- 7:35Speaker 1: get the best of both worlds. Please welcome comic and
- 7:39Speaker 1: writer Beth Stelling. So, Beth, you took a little break
- 7:43Speaker 1: after your most recent stand up special came out on
- 7:45Speaker 1: HBO Max. Right Call Her Daddy, Um, Girl Daddy, Girl Daddy, Sorry,
- 7:50Speaker 1: Ship call Her Daddy's Another podcast, So Many Dad, Too
- 7:54Speaker 1: many daddy's. It's called girl Daddy on HBO Max and
- 7:58Speaker 1: a lot of daddy's running around thinks for the queer eyes. Yeah,
- 8:01Speaker 1: I did. I just I just had something weird happened.
- 8:04Speaker 1: I don't know. Obviously, the weird part was the pandemic.
- 8:08Speaker 1: I just I don't know how to explain it, and
- 8:10Speaker 1: I don't want to be depressing. Well, you know, don't
- 8:13Speaker 1: worry about that, but I'm curious to know. I mean,
- 8:15Speaker 1: that was an amazing special. You're so thoughtful, you're so smart,
- 8:20Speaker 1: you're a great stand up. Like I loved that special.
- 8:22Speaker 1: So when he told me that, I was like, oh
- 8:24Speaker 1: my god, I have to ask or why and what happened?
- 8:27Speaker 1: And don't worry about being depressing. Yes, so go back
- 8:32Speaker 1: to like starting and stand up. It was oh seven
- 8:35Speaker 1: for me, and I just remember thinking like how do
- 8:38Speaker 1: I want to do this? And I knew all the stereotypes,
- 8:42Speaker 1: and this sad part is they never leave. It's just
- 8:45Speaker 1: you know, like fourteen or fifteen years later, it's just
- 8:47Speaker 1: like women aren't funny. Women only talk about sex. And
- 8:50Speaker 1: so when I first started, I really felt like a
- 8:54Speaker 1: young person who wanted to just be part of the solution,
- 9:00Speaker 1: meaning like I'm just going to not talk about sex.
- 9:03Speaker 1: I had all these rules for myself when I first
- 9:05Speaker 1: started as a young and where I was like, I'm
- 9:07Speaker 1: not going to talk about sex. I'm not going to
- 9:09Speaker 1: hook up with the other comedians. And then I had
- 9:11Speaker 1: other dumb ones like I'm never going to take a
- 9:12Speaker 1: notebook on stage and I'm never going to repeat a joke,
- 9:15Speaker 1: and then you realize, well, that's not what stand up is.
- 9:18Speaker 1: It's so funny you say that. Let me just interject there,
- 9:21Speaker 1: because I remember when I signed with my managers, when
- 9:23Speaker 1: I was really starting out, they took me down to
- 9:25Speaker 1: Irvine to the Improv to see Janine Garoffalo and she
- 9:29Speaker 1: had our notebook on stage, and I was like, oh,
- 9:32Speaker 1: that is not professional, you know. And here I was like,
- 9:36Speaker 1: not knowing my ass from my elbow, judging somebody who
- 9:39Speaker 1: had been doing this for fifteen to twenty years already
- 9:42Speaker 1: going how could she ever do that? Cut to that's
- 9:45Speaker 1: exactly what you do when you're working out material. Let's
- 9:47Speaker 1: bring a notebook on stage. I mean they had to
- 9:49Speaker 1: convince me to not have my little notebook when I
- 9:51Speaker 1: was filming My special. I mean, I just it is
- 9:54Speaker 1: like a comfort thing. And also getting to tour with
- 9:56Speaker 1: Sarah Silverman, she always has the like this is why
- 9:59Speaker 1: I I am like this, you know, like she always
- 10:02Speaker 1: has her legal pad, and so it made it okay.
- 10:05Speaker 1: And also she I one time heard her say like
- 10:08Speaker 1: forget if somebody said something about the pad or something,
- 10:11Speaker 1: she said something like forgive my notes, Um, I don't
- 10:14Speaker 1: respect you. So it was just like it was a
- 10:17Speaker 1: way to like dispel that because because I remember being
- 10:20Speaker 1: at Laughed in Seattle after my first half hour on
- 10:23Speaker 1: Comedy Central that was like or something, and I had
- 10:27Speaker 1: my notebook with me and some guy in the crowd
- 10:29Speaker 1: at Laughed in Seattle was like, why are you reading notes?
- 10:32Speaker 1: And somebody in the audience was like, she's just like
- 10:34Speaker 1: so many different came to my defense and at that
- 10:36Speaker 1: time and my how I was on stage and my
- 10:40Speaker 1: persona or whatever, I actually kind of needed them to
- 10:42Speaker 1: come to my defense because I was just I'm so
- 10:44Speaker 1: sensitive and they're like, she just were filmed special, she's
- 10:47Speaker 1: just working stuff out, like leave her alone. I always
- 10:50Speaker 1: just say I'm doing my taxes. I mean, I love that.
- 10:54Speaker 1: And also I remember opening for Verbiclea even when he
- 10:58Speaker 1: was at the Irvine. He was letting me run my
- 11:00Speaker 1: half hour before the stand ups on Netflix, and he
- 11:03Speaker 1: was it was called working it out at the time,
- 11:06Speaker 1: and somebody yelled at him from the crowd, even, what
- 11:08Speaker 1: do you why are you reading that? It's so funny
- 11:11Speaker 1: because like people have this idea of stand up of
- 11:13Speaker 1: what it's supposed to be, and I guess they still
- 11:16Speaker 1: believe that we're just like coming up with it all
- 11:18Speaker 1: off the top of our head. And in some ways
- 11:20Speaker 1: you are, you know, if you're doing crowd work or improvising.
- 11:23Speaker 1: But I had all these little ideas when I started,
- 11:26Speaker 1: and I didn't like going up a bit. It open
- 11:29Speaker 1: my twenty two years old Chicago seeing a girl go
- 11:31Speaker 1: on stage and just talk about getting like butt fucked
- 11:34Speaker 1: and ship going everywhere, And to me, I was like,
- 11:36Speaker 1: it's not that I was a prude or I thought
- 11:38Speaker 1: like it was more me being judgmental and thinking like,
- 11:42Speaker 1: why are you doing this to us? Why are you
- 11:44Speaker 1: going up there, and just leaning into the stereotype. It's
- 11:47Speaker 1: just exhibitionists. Where's the joke? You know? I'm being all
- 11:50Speaker 1: very on my high horse. And as time went on,
- 11:53Speaker 1: I tried to stick to that because I thought, well,
- 11:55Speaker 1: I'm gonna beat this stereotype by just being funny, and
- 11:58Speaker 1: by being funny as a woman and not talking about sex.
- 12:00Speaker 1: That's feminist because it will show that that is what
- 12:04Speaker 1: we can do and be. And so I stuck to
- 12:06Speaker 1: that for a long time until really this last hour.
- 12:09Speaker 1: It's not that I never talked about anything sexual, but
- 12:12Speaker 1: this last hour. At the beginnings of it, I remember
- 12:14Speaker 1: being at the Funny Bone in Dayton, and that's what
- 12:18Speaker 1: I mean. I'm from Dayton, Ohio, so I have like
- 12:20Speaker 1: my friends family in the front row. I have my
- 12:23Speaker 1: whole family, their teachers that I grew up with, and
- 12:26Speaker 1: a lot of this stuff I wanted to talk about
- 12:28Speaker 1: was sex and like not dirty what I believe to
- 12:32Speaker 1: be exhibitionists and not okay like but jokes. Like I
- 12:35Speaker 1: felt like I held it in for so long that
- 12:37Speaker 1: I earned it. That was like, no, I'm going to
- 12:40Speaker 1: talk about it because I'm so tired of not and
- 12:43Speaker 1: I can do it well. So I fought that for
- 12:47Speaker 1: a long time, and the early parts of it, of
- 12:48Speaker 1: course weren't as funny as I wanted them to be.
- 12:50Speaker 1: So that was an uncomfortable weekend beat, like doing the
- 12:53Speaker 1: sex stuff in front of those people until I'm working
- 12:56Speaker 1: out the jokes until they're good enough. So that was
- 12:58Speaker 1: already the entry into this hour. I felt obviously I
- 13:02Speaker 1: guess we could name it as like shame or I
- 13:04Speaker 1: don't even know. And then once I felt good about
- 13:07Speaker 1: it and I was really rolling with it. A lot
- 13:09Speaker 1: of it was driven by anger by watching male comics
- 13:12Speaker 1: specials and then almost writing retorts to them. Yeah, because
- 13:17Speaker 1: I feel irritated that even though it's been so long
- 13:24Speaker 1: and women have been funny for so long, for decades,
- 13:27Speaker 1: that we're still not granted individuality when we walk on
- 13:30Speaker 1: stage like men are. So it just bothered me that
- 13:35Speaker 1: they don't get named social justice warriors for talking about
- 13:38Speaker 1: some of the same topics that were mulling over or
- 13:42Speaker 1: trying to create jokes out of. So yeah, that bothered me,
- 13:46Speaker 1: and I wrote a lot of retorts to that. So
- 13:47Speaker 1: it was almost fueled by rage. And then but that
- 13:52Speaker 1: was before I filmed March seven, so I filmed truly
- 13:55Speaker 1: the weekend before the world sort of shut down. I
- 13:57Speaker 1: remember you and I had a conversation and we at
- 14:00Speaker 1: my production company because we were talking about you filming
- 14:02Speaker 1: or special and we were talking about certain male comics,
- 14:05Speaker 1: and you were actually debating about going after someone I
- 14:08Speaker 1: don't even remember who, or you know, calling him out specifically,
- 14:11Speaker 1: and I was like, that's a great idea of it.
- 14:15Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, yeah, exactly, So I mean that
- 14:20Speaker 1: does take guts and balls, and like, I love that.
- 14:23Speaker 1: I think that's brave. Well, thank you. That means a
- 14:28Speaker 1: lot coming from you. I definitely don't regret it at all.
- 14:31Speaker 1: I think I'm just like I looked at like even
- 14:34Speaker 1: during the pandemic, I watched Richard Pryor, so like back
- 14:37Speaker 1: when I started, I didn't watch a ton of stand
- 14:40Speaker 1: up because I was terrified of stealing, you know, in
- 14:43Speaker 1: that same naive way that when you first start, you're like,
- 14:46Speaker 1: I better not putting in my material online because people
- 14:48Speaker 1: might steal it. It's like nobody wants it, you're not funny.
- 14:51Speaker 1: But I just was terrified of stealing someone's persona or
- 14:54Speaker 1: jokes or anything. So I didn't watch. I wasn't a
- 14:56Speaker 1: student of stand up and I never really like dreamed
- 14:58Speaker 1: of being when growing up. I kind of just wanted
- 15:00Speaker 1: to be an actress. So I watched in the pandemic
- 15:04Speaker 1: Prior's like Long Beach set from seventy nine, and I
- 15:08Speaker 1: had never been like a huge Prior fan because I
- 15:10Speaker 1: just didn't watch a ton of it. And then as
- 15:12Speaker 1: I was watching it, I thought it was incredible, and
- 15:15Speaker 1: I was also saddened because he's talking about police brutality
- 15:19Speaker 1: and at the time, I'm sure that was potentially scary
- 15:22Speaker 1: and controversial. And then what made me even sadder is
- 15:25Speaker 1: how long it's been and nothing's changed. So I began
- 15:28Speaker 1: to feel really depressed and downtrodden about the fact that
- 15:32Speaker 1: what we think we do might change people and it doesn't.
- 15:36Speaker 1: So I know I've reached people. I'm like, I also
- 15:40Speaker 1: don't want to be like a sad sack. That's like,
- 15:41Speaker 1: why what I do doesn't make a difference, because I
- 15:44Speaker 1: know I have. I have had cool people come up
- 15:46Speaker 1: to me afterwards and say so, so I know it
- 15:48Speaker 1: means something. I just think after it came out it
- 15:52Speaker 1: was in August, I just didn't feel like much changed.
- 15:57Speaker 1: I don't know, and it's not like I expected. It's
- 15:59Speaker 1: not like I think so highly with myself by that
- 16:01Speaker 1: it would change the world or something. I know what
- 16:04Speaker 1: you mean, though, I you know, when you're going into
- 16:06Speaker 1: like an artistic endeavor like these, you know, a stand
- 16:09Speaker 1: up special is a big endeavor. It's you, you, you,
- 16:12Speaker 1: and you. There's nowhere else to blame anything on. So
- 16:16Speaker 1: and when you're it's an undertaking, because I remember my
- 16:20Speaker 1: special evolution came out like shortly right after yours, so
- 16:23Speaker 1: I was watching yours like closely because we had had
- 16:25Speaker 1: that conversation too. And I think it's so true that
- 16:30Speaker 1: you think that you're always kind of disappointed by the
- 16:33Speaker 1: reaction something gets. I mean, when are we ever pleased
- 16:37Speaker 1: with the reaction something gets? You know? I get my
- 16:39Speaker 1: podcast numbers every month. I'm like, oh my god, I
- 16:42Speaker 1: can't believe all these people are listening to this podcast.
- 16:44Speaker 1: This is the easiest thing I've ever done with almost
- 16:46Speaker 1: no intention, you know, I'm just having like conversations. I'm like, oh,
- 16:50Speaker 1: is it is that what you're supposed to do, how
- 16:51Speaker 1: you're supposed to handle everything with just kind of off
- 16:54Speaker 1: the seat of your pants. But I think what you're saying, hey,
- 16:57Speaker 1: I can relate to on so many levels about wanting
- 17:00Speaker 1: to listen to other comedy stand up, specifically because you
- 17:03Speaker 1: don't want to mimic others accidentally, because you can do
- 17:07Speaker 1: it so accidentally anyway. But the one thing I've learned
- 17:10Speaker 1: over the last many years is we all are talking
- 17:14Speaker 1: about the same ship. It doesn't make you less of
- 17:17Speaker 1: a comic it's you know, it's all of our what's
- 17:19Speaker 1: our angle? Everyone is talking about sex and parents and
- 17:22Speaker 1: family and religion and anal and whatever you're talking about.
- 17:26Speaker 1: It's it's not unique the subject matter. What's unique is
- 17:30Speaker 1: your take on it, or your strength or your weaknesses
- 17:33Speaker 1: or you know, your p o V. So that's something
- 17:36Speaker 1: we always have to remind ourselves of, right, Yeah, And
- 17:40Speaker 1: I think that's what got me. Sorry, I just and also,
- 17:43Speaker 1: of course everything with what felt like, you know, this
- 17:45Speaker 1: racial recording in that early which of course I felt
- 17:52Speaker 1: like what do I have to add? So so that
- 17:54Speaker 1: also contributed to it where I felt like I should
- 17:57Speaker 1: just shut up and it. And then I was further
- 17:59Speaker 1: added TATD by some of the people who I had
- 18:01Speaker 1: originally been fueled with some of that material because they
- 18:04Speaker 1: didn't shut up. And it's like you're just gonna keep
- 18:07Speaker 1: tweeting and you're just gonna keep making jokes that are
- 18:09Speaker 1: so trivial about some of these like really important things
- 18:12Speaker 1: like why can't we all why can't you guys just
- 18:14Speaker 1: sit down? I even felt that way materialized or just
- 18:17Speaker 1: everybody during the pandemic, where I was sort of like,
- 18:21Speaker 1: oh good, the world telling us to take a nap,
- 18:24Speaker 1: but all these kids are getting up and running around.
- 18:25Speaker 1: I'm like, could you guys just fucking lay down for
- 18:27Speaker 1: a bit, you know. And then from home, everybody's doing
- 18:30Speaker 1: stand up shows and getting green screens, and I realized
- 18:33Speaker 1: that's pivoting and like taking charge of career. And so
- 18:37Speaker 1: I think I just was going through something personally that
- 18:39Speaker 1: made me feel like we can we all just please
- 18:41Speaker 1: rest because we're supposed to, Or maybe I just went
- 18:45Speaker 1: so hard for so long when the world said stopped,
- 18:47Speaker 1: I was like, oh, thank you. Yeah. I think a
- 18:50Speaker 1: lot of people thought that way for sure, Yeah, which
- 18:53Speaker 1: stopped me from writing. And and there's so much content,
- 18:57Speaker 1: so so like when we're supposed to be resting and
- 18:59Speaker 1: then you open your phone, it's like everybody's doing stuff
- 19:01Speaker 1: from home from a green screen, doing these things, and
- 19:03Speaker 1: I'm like sitting here, thinking, already, you know this after
- 19:07Speaker 1: a special comes out. You know, I've never given birth,
- 19:10Speaker 1: but but it sometimes did feel like that you just
- 19:13Speaker 1: can't control once it gets away from you and then
- 19:16Speaker 1: it's gone, and people's immediate reaction is that was so good,
- 19:19Speaker 1: I can't wait for the next one. And instead of
- 19:22Speaker 1: me taking that as like thank you. I'm going there
- 19:26Speaker 1: is no next one. That took me so long. And
- 19:29Speaker 1: then I'm also just looking at people's special feeling like
- 19:33Speaker 1: shouldn't it be special? You know, instead of what was
- 19:37Speaker 1: just you on your podcast, you've now put into a
- 19:39Speaker 1: special And so people were watching going well, I've already
- 19:42Speaker 1: heard that, and I'm over here thinking like I don't
- 19:44Speaker 1: want to be some sort of like sound like some
- 19:46Speaker 1: sort of martyr. That's like, aren't we supposed to work
- 19:48Speaker 1: on our craft for so long? Because it's just like
- 19:50Speaker 1: that's part of what's changed is and I should adapt.
- 19:53Speaker 1: I'm basically not adapting, I think, is what is happening.
- 19:56Speaker 1: I'm going I meticulously work on jokes for years and
- 19:59Speaker 1: then I will give you something special, and I can't
- 20:03Speaker 1: really participate that any longer. I'm sure. It's It's almost
- 20:05Speaker 1: reminds me of the guy I dated in Chicago who
- 20:08Speaker 1: was a photographer who went to school for photography, and
- 20:11Speaker 1: then Instagram happened. It's like, what the fuck? I'm like
- 20:15Speaker 1: developing photos for people to get, you know, way more
- 20:19Speaker 1: attention followers jobs work from just a filter. But yeah,
- 20:24Speaker 1: I think I am just sort of not keeping up. Well,
- 20:27Speaker 1: that's a product of social media. Right, that's the impact
- 20:30Speaker 1: that social media has on each of us and how
- 20:33Speaker 1: we deal with it. You wouldn't be thinking those things
- 20:35Speaker 1: about yourself if you weren't looking at other people and
- 20:37Speaker 1: what they were doing. Absolutely, and I don't like it.
- 20:41Speaker 1: I don't like how that feels. Like. I'm someone who
- 20:44Speaker 1: does believe there is room for everybody and you shouldn't
- 20:47Speaker 1: be out there comparing yourself to others. But I just
- 20:50Speaker 1: think it's hard when it feels like it's part of
- 20:53Speaker 1: the job now, and and then if I am resistant
- 20:56Speaker 1: to it, then it makes me seem like some sort
- 20:59Speaker 1: of bitter person who's just doesn't feel like they're successful enough,
- 21:03Speaker 1: when what I really want to do is create stuff
- 21:05Speaker 1: that I care about, that is good, that matters. And
- 21:08Speaker 1: I think sometimes I'm a little too precious about all
- 21:10Speaker 1: of it. Yeah, I hear what you're saying. Yeah, it
- 21:14Speaker 1: would probably do you some good to just not pay attention,
- 21:17Speaker 1: you know, like keep your head in your stuff and
- 21:19Speaker 1: focus on your stuff without looking around, even like cutting
- 21:23Speaker 1: that stuff in a half. Because there's no positive impact
- 21:25Speaker 1: from looking at social media. There hasn't been anything proven
- 21:28Speaker 1: that that that anything positive comes out of it, and
- 21:31Speaker 1: we're we're all victims of it. We're all victims of
- 21:34Speaker 1: crolling mindlessly. I mean, I wanted to a test on
- 21:38Speaker 1: myself to see how many times I went to Instagram
- 21:41Speaker 1: without even thinking, like in the middle of my day,
- 21:43Speaker 1: because I put it in an like its own folder
- 21:46Speaker 1: to prevent myself from so easily accessing it, because all
- 21:49Speaker 1: of a sudden, you're watching something and you're like, wait,
- 21:51Speaker 1: when did I get on Instagram? You know, three minutes ago.
- 21:53Speaker 1: I was supposed to be reading a book. What happened.
- 21:56Speaker 1: So it's just a matter of trying to kind of
- 21:59Speaker 1: limit your exposure to that because that's what it is.
- 22:03Speaker 1: And I definitely have and I'm back to writing and
- 22:05Speaker 1: I'm like getting out again and I have been for
- 22:08Speaker 1: the last year. But that's that's a weird part of
- 22:10Speaker 1: it too, is wait, you're you've remained COVID free, right, Yeah,
- 22:16Speaker 1: you're a gold star. I know, I know, I'm not
- 22:18Speaker 1: going that's well, I'm a medical director, so that's why
- 22:21Speaker 1: I love it. Well, I was back doing shows again,
- 22:25Speaker 1: and I was vaccinated, fully vaccinated, and then I got
- 22:28Speaker 1: to had a breakthrough case in August. It's like a
- 22:30Speaker 1: mixture of things. It's like all of a sudden, two
- 22:32Speaker 1: years went by in a blink. I wasn't writing as much.
- 22:35Speaker 1: My life changed so much by not touring. I'm still
- 22:38Speaker 1: writing for people and doing punch up and stuff a lot,
- 22:40Speaker 1: and writing a show and writing on shows. So like,
- 22:43Speaker 1: I am grateful to keep my mind going and joke
- 22:45Speaker 1: writing and being comedy. So it's not like I'm down
- 22:48Speaker 1: for the count or something. But I guess after you
- 22:50Speaker 1: do something for so long and you have that weird
- 22:54Speaker 1: relationship or break with it, I don't know if it's
- 22:56Speaker 1: COVID brain fog or what's going on, but like I
- 22:59Speaker 1: have trouble remembering things, like there's a lot adding to
- 23:03Speaker 1: all of it, and then the fear of getting back
- 23:05Speaker 1: out again after not doing it for so long. Oh yeah,
- 23:08Speaker 1: I think I have to shift my mindset a bit,
- 23:10Speaker 1: because I like listening to you when you say things
- 23:13Speaker 1: like how happy people. You're giving people this service, like
- 23:16Speaker 1: you're going to perform for them and give them jokes,
- 23:19Speaker 1: And oddly I have this other mindset that's like, oh no,
- 23:22Speaker 1: am I going to be good enough? It will be
- 23:24Speaker 1: worth their money. I don't want to waste their time,
- 23:27Speaker 1: you know, Like something's I need to sort of shift
- 23:30Speaker 1: before I go back out and remember, like, I know
- 23:32Speaker 1: this job is fun. I know it. I was happy
- 23:34Speaker 1: to be doing it. But something's happened to me over
- 23:36Speaker 1: the years where I've grown more introverted and I and
- 23:39Speaker 1: I think also it has to do with like vulnerability.
- 23:42Speaker 1: It's almost like I feel like I owe it and
- 23:45Speaker 1: it's a strange divulging thing that I have where I
- 23:48Speaker 1: feel like I have to tell you everything you know,
- 23:51Speaker 1: and I think that's taken a toll as well. My
- 23:53Speaker 1: mom always be like it's your strength and and and
- 23:55Speaker 1: also a weakness of yours. And I know you're also
- 23:58Speaker 1: like you're vulnerable. You've been most vulnerable in this last special.
- 24:03Speaker 1: So I don't know if you've shifted into wanting to
- 24:06Speaker 1: do that more or if you felt exhausted by it. Yeah,
- 24:10Speaker 1: I mean I I did, like I I when I
- 24:12Speaker 1: put that special out, I was like, Okay, now let's
- 24:14Speaker 1: get back to like stand up, stand up, Like I
- 24:16Speaker 1: had to say all of that for my my own
- 24:19Speaker 1: peace of mind and everything you just said. I can
- 24:22Speaker 1: totally relate to taking a break. I didn't do it
- 24:24Speaker 1: for six years. Getting back on stage. I had to
- 24:27Speaker 1: like go in the back door. You know. I went
- 24:29Speaker 1: on a book tour. I say that in quotes because
- 24:32Speaker 1: it was like my own psychic way of allowing myself
- 24:36Speaker 1: to be on stage but not alone, because I had
- 24:39Speaker 1: someone interviewing me. And then eventually, once I gathered all
- 24:42Speaker 1: the stories that I was telling on stage, I knew, okay,
- 24:44Speaker 1: this is a new hour of material. Now let me
- 24:47Speaker 1: kick the interviewer off the stage and I'll just go
- 24:49Speaker 1: up there. But it was very back door, like, you know,
- 24:52Speaker 1: getting back into stand up, which is something my agents,
- 24:55Speaker 1: my managers, everyone on my team had been telling me
- 24:57Speaker 1: that I have to do. You have to do stand up.
- 24:59Speaker 1: You can't take breaks from stand up, you know, And
- 25:01Speaker 1: I was like, fuck it, I don't need to listen
- 25:03Speaker 1: to anybody, and I'll do it on my own terms.
- 25:05Speaker 1: So I can definitely relate to what you're saying about
- 25:09Speaker 1: not thinking you were worthwhile, not thinking I was good enough,
- 25:11Speaker 1: not thinking people are gonna get it, or they're gonna
- 25:14Speaker 1: forgive me for taking such a long break, or they're
- 25:17Speaker 1: gonna say, oh, I'm too serious now, I'm not funny enough,
- 25:20Speaker 1: all of those things. And I think the only way
- 25:22Speaker 1: to combat that is by being on stage. Yeah, And
- 25:25Speaker 1: that's what I've basically come to now two years later,
- 25:29Speaker 1: is I'm getting back out locally for sure, and I've
- 25:32Speaker 1: started getting back on the road, and I'll in my
- 25:35Speaker 1: first club in the long time. Well, I did like
- 25:38Speaker 1: the Fort in Fort Collins in Colorado, like I keep
- 25:41Speaker 1: dipping my toe like once a month, and like places
- 25:44Speaker 1: where I feel good or run by people I feel
- 25:46Speaker 1: good about. And so then I'll be at Comedy Works
- 25:48Speaker 1: in Denver the fourth weekend of February. And you know
- 25:52Speaker 1: that club is just the best, the best, the best.
- 25:56Speaker 1: I love that that Zaney is in Nashville. Are I
- 25:59Speaker 1: agree with you? Those are favorites for sure. They're just
- 26:02Speaker 1: they feel good and I almost feel like I can
- 26:04Speaker 1: try anything. So I am thankful that that's my first
- 26:08Speaker 1: club back in a really long time. And then also
- 26:10Speaker 1: just I'll always get in my head about new material
- 26:13Speaker 1: where I'm like I has to be all new. And
- 26:16Speaker 1: years ago, after our half hours in neat Barghatty and
- 26:19Speaker 1: I were talking and he was saying, you know what
- 26:20Speaker 1: I'm doing on the road is I'm saying up top,
- 26:23Speaker 1: I'm gonna go as long as I can with my
- 26:24Speaker 1: new stuff and then I'll tell you when we got
- 26:27Speaker 1: to dip into the old, which I really liked because
- 26:30Speaker 1: it just is like I put a lot of pressure
- 26:32Speaker 1: on myself to always bring like new material. And then
- 26:36Speaker 1: going back to what you just said, like I gotta
- 26:37Speaker 1: get back to stand up. Part of me is like
- 26:40Speaker 1: can I write just like an hour on burritos or something,
- 26:43Speaker 1: you know, just like, let's I just want to do.
- 26:46Speaker 1: I got fun topics like find instead of trying to
- 26:49Speaker 1: dismantle the patriarchy. Well, I think also, yeah, you do
- 26:53Speaker 1: that at your last special, you know, you kind of
- 26:56Speaker 1: like I had to do a certain thing. And I
- 26:58Speaker 1: think the good reminder is that you're doing this because
- 27:01Speaker 1: stand up is supposed to be fun. It's not supposed
- 27:03Speaker 1: to be so grueling, right, It's supposed to be fun.
- 27:06Speaker 1: At least the time you're on stage should be fun.
- 27:08Speaker 1: So that's a good reminder. Anyway, you sound like you're
- 27:12Speaker 1: in a great space to give advice to our callers today,
- 27:15Speaker 1: So I mean the time it could not be better.
- 27:17Speaker 1: Readers Digest most uplifting comic of the year. Here. We
- 27:21Speaker 1: have callers that call in, we have people that write it,
- 27:24Speaker 1: we have people that zoom in and we just give
- 27:25Speaker 1: them our feedback, and people are really earnest and they
- 27:29Speaker 1: call in with serious stuff. So we're just going to
- 27:32Speaker 1: tell them what we think. And usually people call in
- 27:34Speaker 1: when they've already made a decision and they need a
- 27:36Speaker 1: nudge in that direction from like the braver, bigger sister
- 27:40Speaker 1: to be like, hey, go take a leap of faith. So,
- 27:42Speaker 1: but yeah, should we get started? Katherine, did you guys meet?
- 27:45Speaker 1: Did I even introduce you? I don't think we officially did.
- 27:48Speaker 1: I'm Catherine. I'm such a terrible host. I'm so sorry.
- 27:50Speaker 1: Catherine doing great. Catherine's great. I like your heir. Thanks,
- 27:55Speaker 1: I loved your specials. I watched them. Thank you. So
- 27:59Speaker 1: we'll a quick break and then we'll come back with questions. Okay,
- 28:07Speaker 1: and we're back. Today's guest is best selling, really hysterical
- 28:10Speaker 1: stand up comedian, and Catherine is our producer who is
- 28:15Speaker 1: here every episode, and we are ready to get into it. Yes,
- 28:19Speaker 1: our first question comes from DESI. Dear Chelsea, on one episode,
- 28:24Speaker 1: you mentioned going to dinner with Joe and his ex wife.
- 28:27Speaker 1: I've been in a lesbian relationship with my partner for
- 28:30Speaker 1: the past eight years. She's divorced and has children. With
- 28:33Speaker 1: her previous husband. Any tips on how you can initiate
- 28:36Speaker 1: a relationship with her ex husband without being crazy jealous.
- 28:39Speaker 1: I know for the sake of the kids it would
- 28:41Speaker 1: be a great thing, but I don't know how to
- 28:43Speaker 1: navigate the feelings I feel when he's around. The kids
- 28:46Speaker 1: have expressed wanting to do functions with everyone, but my
- 28:49Speaker 1: insecurities have stopped me from participating. Any tips would help.
- 28:52Speaker 1: Thanks and keep kicking, ask DESI, Oh, well, that's so easy,
- 28:57Speaker 1: Like don't you just want to be an addition, not
- 28:59Speaker 1: a subtraction, right? You want to be in addition to
- 29:02Speaker 1: people's lives and to the betterment of This is your partner,
- 29:05Speaker 1: this is these are her children. Obviously you care about
- 29:08Speaker 1: them and about being a positive influence and being a
- 29:11Speaker 1: role model, and those are all the reasons you need
- 29:14Speaker 1: to just reach out like there's nothing going on with them.
- 29:17Speaker 1: You've been with her for eight years. Your insecurities you
- 29:20Speaker 1: just have to put in a box and like visit
- 29:22Speaker 1: them when you come home at night if you still
- 29:24Speaker 1: want to go there, And my instinct is that you
- 29:26Speaker 1: probably won't want to go there after you extend yourself
- 29:29Speaker 1: like that with other people. You feel so good about
- 29:32Speaker 1: yourself and you feel so good about the situation. Yeah. Absolutely,
- 29:35Speaker 1: I would say fake it till you make it, because
- 29:39Speaker 1: you just need to get there, get yourself at the event,
- 29:41Speaker 1: be pleasant, especially if the husband is not a monster
- 29:44Speaker 1: and didn't do anything bad. You know, relationships come and go,
- 29:48Speaker 1: and uh, it's sort of important that you are a
- 29:52Speaker 1: positive force. Like Chelsea said, So, I think that you
- 29:55Speaker 1: once you actually get yourself there and our kind and
- 29:57Speaker 1: you're and you're doing going through the motions and actually
- 30:00Speaker 1: come for real and you'll see the benefits of of
- 30:03Speaker 1: a blended family. Yeah, and then you become a hero
- 30:05Speaker 1: because then everyone's like, oh, look at her. You know,
- 30:08Speaker 1: olive branch. Here, olive branch. It's not even an olive
- 30:10Speaker 1: branch because this person probably never did anything to you.
- 30:13Speaker 1: So it's just being decent. And then that act extends
- 30:17Speaker 1: and extends and extends, and you're just gonna be happier
- 30:20Speaker 1: for it, I promise you. I feel like maybe there
- 30:22Speaker 1: is a small like this. I have all kinds of
- 30:24Speaker 1: stuff like these relationships in my family with my sisters,
- 30:28Speaker 1: like what this person is going through, and I think
- 30:30Speaker 1: you have to remember that they're not with that person.
- 30:32Speaker 1: The X husband for a reason. So they've they've been
- 30:34Speaker 1: with you for eight years and that ended for a reason.
- 30:37Speaker 1: And just by being there showing up, it will only
- 30:40Speaker 1: solidify that that you are the right person for them
- 30:43Speaker 1: and the great partner. So yeah, and at the risk
- 30:45Speaker 1: of being another white lady recommending Untamed by Glennon Doyle,
- 30:49Speaker 1: read Untamed by Glennon Doyle, like she talks about all
- 30:52Speaker 1: this stuff like co parenting and dinners with her ex
- 30:56Speaker 1: and her wife and it's really lovely and makes it
- 30:59Speaker 1: not seems so gary. Also, yeah, it could potentially even
- 31:02Speaker 1: strengthen your relationship with your partner. And also another thing
- 31:06Speaker 1: to note is any time you're having any emotion related
- 31:09Speaker 1: to jealousy, which many emotions lead to, then it's important
- 31:13Speaker 1: to negate it, like to say, okay, that's not or invalidated.
- 31:17Speaker 1: I should say, to remind yourself that jealousy is not
- 31:20Speaker 1: a helpful or useful emotion and it will only hinder you.
- 31:24Speaker 1: So whenever you're having misgivings about something, or you're feeling
- 31:28Speaker 1: insecure or competitive or whatever however it presents, when you
- 31:33Speaker 1: reduce it down and find out that it's jealousy, Oh
- 31:36Speaker 1: I'm jealous of this, then you have to kind of
- 31:39Speaker 1: act out against that. That's the only way to kind
- 31:41Speaker 1: of extinguish jealousy from your life. Yeah. Well, our next
- 31:47Speaker 1: question comes from Bells. Dear Chelsea, two months into my marriage,
- 31:52Speaker 1: my husband found out that he's inheriting millions of dollars.
- 31:56Speaker 1: Excellent update. It's enough to obviously make a significant change
- 32:02Speaker 1: in our lives, but nothing crazy like we can quit
- 32:04Speaker 1: our jobs and retire in our thirties. I feel insanely
- 32:08Speaker 1: fortunate to have this new financial cushion in my life,
- 32:11Speaker 1: especially since I'm quitting my job and going back to school,
- 32:14Speaker 1: but I'm mostly feeling very lonely. He comes from some
- 32:17Speaker 1: wealth and I come from a family of five living
- 32:19Speaker 1: off forty dollars a year. I don't feel like I
- 32:22Speaker 1: can tell anyone except my closest friend, because I have
- 32:25Speaker 1: no idea how people would react. I have no idea
- 32:28Speaker 1: how to feel about it. I'm crazy thankful for the
- 32:31Speaker 1: opportunities that this springs, but lonely as fuck. I'm writing
- 32:35Speaker 1: to you to hopefully get some insight as to how
- 32:37Speaker 1: you handled coming to fame and the wealth that came
- 32:39Speaker 1: along with it. XO XO Bells. Hi bells h Elsea,
- 32:44Speaker 1: how's it going? Hi? I say hi to Beth today.
- 32:47Speaker 1: She's our guest. Hi bell n Hi. So okay, so
- 32:53Speaker 1: your your husband is coming into a significant amount of money. Yes, great,
- 33:00Speaker 1: this is good news. But you seem very very fearful
- 33:03Speaker 1: about this. Yeah, it's just kind of I've never known
- 33:07Speaker 1: what that's like. I grew up without money, so it's
- 33:11Speaker 1: kind of like growing up with financial trauma in a sense.
- 33:15Speaker 1: I mean, it's not my money, but it's our money,
- 33:18Speaker 1: I guess, and it's just a very odd place to be.
- 33:22Speaker 1: I can relate, even just like having made money on
- 33:25Speaker 1: my own my mom as a teacher and she raised
- 33:28Speaker 1: me and my two sisters, and even like when I
- 33:31Speaker 1: get a writing job and television and we find out
- 33:33Speaker 1: how much I make per week, we squeal. You know,
- 33:36Speaker 1: it's like and I've been doing it now for years.
- 33:39Speaker 1: So I think it's something that's really hard to get
- 33:40Speaker 1: used to, especially if you're when you're growing up, you
- 33:42Speaker 1: were used to whatever it was, fast food, or every
- 33:45Speaker 1: time you get to a register it's like, you know,
- 33:47Speaker 1: a shock each time, or having to return things you
- 33:50Speaker 1: know at the at the un till. So I think
- 33:55Speaker 1: the thing that resonated with me that you said is
- 33:57Speaker 1: the lonely part. Have you been able to talk about
- 34:00Speaker 1: it with your husband yet or shared some of those feelings. Yeah,
- 34:04Speaker 1: definitely a bit. It's we had no idea that it
- 34:06Speaker 1: was coming, and so it's definitely taken a lot of
- 34:10Speaker 1: time to adjust, and throughout that adjustment we've been able
- 34:13Speaker 1: to talk about it more. But I guess he's just
- 34:16Speaker 1: in a different Money to him is a little bit different.
- 34:19Speaker 1: He didn't have that fear growing up, so it's just
- 34:22Speaker 1: we're coming at a different level. I would say. I
- 34:25Speaker 1: would also, you know, urge you to like this has
- 34:28Speaker 1: all the makings of being something positive. You know, it
- 34:31Speaker 1: doesn't have to. I understand you don't come from money.
- 34:34Speaker 1: I didn't come from money either, but I mean I
- 34:36Speaker 1: was never starving or anything, but I didn't definitely didn't
- 34:39Speaker 1: have wealthy parents. But it's a gift. You know. You
- 34:42Speaker 1: have to look at it with positivity and like brightness
- 34:45Speaker 1: and excitement, like you're gonna be responsible, You're gonna rely
- 34:48Speaker 1: on yourself because you've had the life experience that you had,
- 34:51Speaker 1: which was struggling financially, and that's why you're a great
- 34:54Speaker 1: candidate for this to happen to you know what I mean,
- 34:56Speaker 1: because you're going to be responsible about it. You're not
- 34:58Speaker 1: going to blow all your money, you know. You make
- 35:00Speaker 1: these commitments to yourself to kind of instill the confidence
- 35:04Speaker 1: that you need to kind of handle this gift that's
- 35:07Speaker 1: coming into your life. Does that make sense? Absolutely? Yeah.
- 35:11Speaker 1: And it has been like such a gift. It's given
- 35:14Speaker 1: us the opportunity to pursue career paths that we didn't
- 35:18Speaker 1: have the opportunity to before. And that's just completely life
- 35:23Speaker 1: changing and something that I would have never expected to
- 35:26Speaker 1: be given. Yeah, yeah, that sounds awesome. Are you struggling
- 35:31Speaker 1: with feeling like it's yours as a couple? Not so much?
- 35:35Speaker 1: Not good? I think that's really good. Then that's a
- 35:37Speaker 1: really good sign because I think that that would be
- 35:39Speaker 1: my instinct to be like, oh gosh, well it's not mine,
- 35:41Speaker 1: I'm not entitled to it, and I didn't earn it,
- 35:43Speaker 1: and and those things, unfortunately, like Chelsea said, are those
- 35:47Speaker 1: are the negative thoughts? And I think that taking a
- 35:50Speaker 1: positive spin on this, like it is a gift, and
- 35:52Speaker 1: because you're used to being more careful with your money,
- 35:54Speaker 1: you will be responsible with it, you know, And you're
- 35:57Speaker 1: not going to do anything crazy. And the other thing
- 35:58Speaker 1: that comes to mind too is, of course it sounds
- 36:01Speaker 1: like you're gonna be investing in careers that you guys
- 36:03Speaker 1: are more attached to or connected to. And then the
- 36:05Speaker 1: other way would be to make sure you give a
- 36:08Speaker 1: little of it away and two things that you care
- 36:11Speaker 1: about and that might also help make it feel positive.
- 36:14Speaker 1: Definitely looking forward to that aspect of it. I have
- 36:17Speaker 1: a lot of giving nature to me and I'm just
- 36:21Speaker 1: like I I think the loneliness aspect of kind of
- 36:25Speaker 1: like seeing the people around me just in my daily
- 36:30Speaker 1: life struggle and it's like why why do I deserve
- 36:35Speaker 1: this over these other people? Like here, take this please?
- 36:39Speaker 1: But that's not necessarily responsible. I understand there's also a
- 36:45Speaker 1: weight to it. I've struggled with where it's it's like
- 36:48Speaker 1: it doesn't just mean nothing to me, you know, where
- 36:51Speaker 1: if I if I am generous right to me. I've
- 36:53Speaker 1: struggled with the line between getting taken advantage of and
- 36:57Speaker 1: being generous because I do want to share and and help,
- 37:01Speaker 1: But I think that that's something just to also be
- 37:03Speaker 1: wary of, is not I'm not saying be head on
- 37:05Speaker 1: a swivel people are going to take advantage of you.
- 37:07Speaker 1: But I think that is like an aspect of it. Chelsea,
- 37:10Speaker 1: what do you think about that? Yeah, I mean there's
- 37:13Speaker 1: a definitely responsibility, and I think everything you're saying is
- 37:16Speaker 1: right already. You're not talking about going and getting a ferrari,
- 37:19Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You're not talking about blowing
- 37:21Speaker 1: your money on bullshit. And of course there might be
- 37:24Speaker 1: a couple of things that you are extravagant that you
- 37:26Speaker 1: place into your life, but you're already having the dialogue
- 37:28Speaker 1: with yourself that's responsible. So I think you should let
- 37:31Speaker 1: go of some of this burden that you're placing on yourself.
- 37:34Speaker 1: It's unnecessary and you're giving yourself kind of stress where
- 37:37Speaker 1: there doesn't need to be. You know, you've had all
- 37:39Speaker 1: the right thoughts and you're and you're in the right place,
- 37:41Speaker 1: Like everything's lining up to be for you to be
- 37:44Speaker 1: successful and responsible with this and not be an asshole.
- 37:49Speaker 1: You can always press that button when you're getting your coffee,
- 37:55Speaker 1: absolutely always, yeah, yeah, and you know you can't control
- 38:00Speaker 1: who the You know, this isn't something that you is
- 38:02Speaker 1: actively pursued, So stop also playing that narrative around about
- 38:06Speaker 1: all your friends and why do you deserve this? And
- 38:09Speaker 1: we don't know why anybody deserves what anybody gets, but
- 38:11Speaker 1: just be responsible with what you do get. Yeah, And
- 38:14Speaker 1: that's the thing about money is that allows us to
- 38:16Speaker 1: have power in this society. And you can hit that
- 38:20Speaker 1: h you know, give a little extra at the holidays,
- 38:24Speaker 1: find some organizations that you really love to give to.
- 38:27Speaker 1: But even in our pre interview call, you had mentioned like, well,
- 38:30Speaker 1: I'm going back to school and I was gonna sign
- 38:32Speaker 1: up for scholarships, but how can I do that when
- 38:34Speaker 1: I have this gift? And you know, maybe the gift
- 38:37Speaker 1: is you pay for your own school and someone else
- 38:39Speaker 1: qualifies for that scholarship who really needed it. So you know,
- 38:42Speaker 1: you just never know who is going to need exactly
- 38:45Speaker 1: that in their life. A couple of books too, I
- 38:48Speaker 1: just happened to be reading. This one is called Uneasy
- 38:51Speaker 1: You're always reading books about finances because that's the fucking
- 38:56Speaker 1: last thing I'm reading. So it's a great Well, this
- 38:59Speaker 1: one I just thought was so fascinating. It's called Uneasy
- 39:02Speaker 1: Street and it's by Rachel Sherman, and it reads a
- 39:05Speaker 1: little bit like it was probably her doctoral dissertation at
- 39:08Speaker 1: some point, so it's a little dry in parts, but
- 39:11Speaker 1: it's a book about like not the point one percenters,
- 39:14Speaker 1: but like one percenters in New York City who are
- 39:16Speaker 1: like raising a family and doing a renovation and what
- 39:20Speaker 1: you talked about with this loneliness around money. She interviews
- 39:24Speaker 1: these people and most of them won't talk to anybody
- 39:26Speaker 1: about how much they make, and so it's sort of
- 39:28Speaker 1: like feels very secretive for them to be divulging this
- 39:31Speaker 1: to this writer. But the way they talk about the money.
- 39:36Speaker 1: She breaks down the different styles of how these people
- 39:40Speaker 1: feel about the money that they have, whether they inherited
- 39:43Speaker 1: it or have a high paying job or whatever it is.
- 39:46Speaker 1: And I think it would be really a really good
- 39:48Speaker 1: read for you to see that you're not alone and
- 39:50Speaker 1: there are a lot of different ways that people feel
- 39:51Speaker 1: about having quite a big sum of money. And then
- 39:55Speaker 1: another one is you are a badass at making money.
- 39:58Speaker 1: So obviously, at first blush that sounds like it's not
- 40:00Speaker 1: what you're trying to do. But what she does is
- 40:03Speaker 1: she helps you to reframe how you think about money
- 40:06Speaker 1: so that it doesn't just feel like this kind of
- 40:08Speaker 1: deadweight thing. It feels a little bit more like what
- 40:11Speaker 1: can I do? How does this give me agency in
- 40:13Speaker 1: the world to help others around me or to help
- 40:15Speaker 1: myself in a way that I can be a light
- 40:19Speaker 1: to those around me. Thank you. Well, there you go, Bells.
- 40:23Speaker 1: So keep us posted and let us know. Okay, give
- 40:26Speaker 1: us send us in an update and keep in touch
- 40:28Speaker 1: so we can see what happens and all the great
- 40:31Speaker 1: things you're able to accomplish. Cool. Thank you so much.
- 40:34Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Yeah, I love you. Good luck with school.
- 40:38Speaker 1: Thanks all right. Our next caller is Kelsey. She's in
- 40:42Speaker 1: her thirties. Dear Chelsea. Five years ago, I met a
- 40:46Speaker 1: guy through a mutual friend and we had an instant connection.
- 40:49Speaker 1: We dated for a few months, but ultimately I wanted
- 40:52Speaker 1: a commitment and he was not ready for that as
- 40:54Speaker 1: he had recently ended a long term relationship. It was heartbreaking,
- 40:58Speaker 1: but several months later I started dating my crush at work.
- 41:01Speaker 1: He was dreamy, tall, dark, handsome, well dressed, and mysterious.
- 41:05Speaker 1: He pursued me, but I could never actually tell if
- 41:07Speaker 1: he liked me. I was so nervous around him, I
- 41:10Speaker 1: felt myself constantly seeking his approval. Whenever I saw a
- 41:14Speaker 1: deeper connection, he was dismissive and made me feel like
- 41:16Speaker 1: I was asking for too much. I started acting out
- 41:19Speaker 1: in the relationship, yelling, slamming doors, doing things not in
- 41:22Speaker 1: my nature at all. Eventually I broke things off. Several
- 41:25Speaker 1: months after things ended with Guy Too, I bumped into
- 41:28Speaker 1: Guy one and we rekindled things. He's been an amazing
- 41:31Speaker 1: partner to me, and after years of failure in dating,
- 41:34Speaker 1: I feel so safe and seen in this relationship we
- 41:36Speaker 1: just moved in together. But Chelsea, I need your help.
- 41:40Speaker 1: I still think about Guy Too constantly. I think about
- 41:43Speaker 1: the what ifs and what our relationship could have been.
- 41:46Speaker 1: I'm so happy with my current boyfriend, and he is funnier, smarter,
- 41:49Speaker 1: and more emotionally intelligent than Guy Too ever was so
- 41:52Speaker 1: why am I still so hung up on this guy?
- 41:54Speaker 1: I've been in therapy and I've done a lot of
- 41:56Speaker 1: personal growth. You even inspired me to do ayahuasca. But
- 41:59Speaker 1: I can't take this obsession, Chelsea. I need a reality
- 42:02Speaker 1: slap and some tough love. How do I let this
- 42:05Speaker 1: guy go? Kelsey? Hi, Kelsey, Hi, Hi. This is Beth. Hi. Hello.
- 42:13Speaker 1: Beth is using her bedroom voice today, and by the way,
- 42:16Speaker 1: we're all we're all going by Kelsey from now on. Okay,
- 42:21Speaker 1: so we're in this together. You need to read the
- 42:23Speaker 1: book Attached, because it talks about exactly what the dynamic is.
- 42:27Speaker 1: You're rejected blah blah blah, but you're from an anxious
- 42:31Speaker 1: kind of attachment. He's from uh, an avoidant and anxious
- 42:35Speaker 1: and avoid it. They basically, I mean, they paint this
- 42:38Speaker 1: picture for you. It's perfect. You read about hundreds of
- 42:42Speaker 1: different relationships and just there are three dynamics that are
- 42:45Speaker 1: at play at all times, and when we are for
- 42:47Speaker 1: some reason, we are addicted to that dynamic. When you
- 42:50Speaker 1: are an anxious attachment, you're addicted to somebody who's avoided
- 42:55Speaker 1: and the goal is to find a secure person, which
- 42:57Speaker 1: it sounds like you've found. You've did together. You're happy,
- 43:01Speaker 1: you're free. It literally is just your ego knocking at
- 43:04Speaker 1: your door and you're beholden to it and you're allowing
- 43:07Speaker 1: yourself to be So you just need to read a
- 43:09Speaker 1: very like easy book to read and you will get it.
- 43:13Speaker 1: I promise you after you read that book. Did you
- 43:15Speaker 1: ever read that book, Katherine, No, I haven't. So it's
- 43:18Speaker 1: just so, I mean, it's like paints every relationship dynamic
- 43:21Speaker 1: you've ever been in. And then you're like, oh, you know,
- 43:24Speaker 1: it's the tale as old as time. We love to
- 43:26Speaker 1: be addicted to our last rejection. Yeah, it's basically just
- 43:30Speaker 1: like this taste like ship. Yeah, I will have some more.
- 43:33Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I don't know that I need
- 43:36Speaker 1: to read the book too, apparently I've written it down, Kelsey.
- 43:39Speaker 1: Do you bring up your ex the guy number two
- 43:42Speaker 1: to guy number one? Sorry? No, I don't talk about
- 43:47Speaker 1: my ex to my current boyfriend. I wouldn't want to
- 43:49Speaker 1: like burden him with that. But does he know anything
- 43:52Speaker 1: about him? We've talked about exes in like loose terms before,
- 43:55Speaker 1: but he certainly doesn't know that I still have an
- 43:58Speaker 1: attachment to him. Are you in touch with him at all?
- 44:02Speaker 1: So we do work together, so I do see him
- 44:05Speaker 1: at work unfortunately, Oh well that's a big part of it.
- 44:08Speaker 1: Then you're still seeing them, yeah? Is it every day
- 44:12Speaker 1: you're back in the office or is it zooming? Yeah?
- 44:14Speaker 1: Not every day okay, but still you're seeing them? Yeah,
- 44:19Speaker 1: And I think mostly I just want to get I
- 44:21Speaker 1: feel like really emotionally reactive when I see him, Like
- 44:24Speaker 1: like my heartbeats faster and like my stomach turns, and
- 44:27Speaker 1: I just want to let go of that emotional attachment
- 44:29Speaker 1: I still have. Yeah, that's a tough one, the physical
- 44:33Speaker 1: reaction and having to see them again, because that happens
- 44:36Speaker 1: for a lot of people, but they're never like they
- 44:39Speaker 1: might see them once, you know, in years, so still
- 44:41Speaker 1: having to work with that person. I can imagine why
- 44:44Speaker 1: that would why this is a little bit more ever
- 44:46Speaker 1: present or having trouble letting go. See. The issue for
- 44:49Speaker 1: me sometimes is social media. When you can tell what
- 44:52Speaker 1: they're up to now, whether they've moved on or they're
- 44:55Speaker 1: with someone new or like, it reveals too much. Unfortunately,
- 44:58Speaker 1: we know too much. Yeah, I had to even like
- 45:01Speaker 1: on friends on Venmo. My ex blocked me on everything,
- 45:06Speaker 1: including Venmo and Spotify. I mean I dunked them, but
- 45:09Speaker 1: I think they just didn't want to know what I
- 45:10Speaker 1: was up to at all. It's so funny to do
- 45:13Speaker 1: the Venmo block. It reveals a lot. It's surprisingly reveals
- 45:18Speaker 1: a lot. I know, like they paid this version for dinner,
- 45:20Speaker 1: this person for weed slash cake, and then who else
- 45:25Speaker 1: they're with. It is true, you're right, does Venmo allow
- 45:29Speaker 1: you to see their other transfers? Yes? You better put
- 45:32Speaker 1: yourself on private, Chelsea. I'm not on Venmo, Beth, you
- 45:35Speaker 1: sink I know how to pay something like I don't
- 45:37Speaker 1: even know what the funk that is. For a long time,
- 45:39Speaker 1: I thought Venmo was a record store. I was like, what,
- 45:42Speaker 1: there are those back? You know? I'm not. I can't
- 45:45Speaker 1: believe you could watch other people's transactions. That's right, Hannibal.
- 45:49Speaker 1: Sometimes we'll just comment. He just gets on Venmo and
- 45:52Speaker 1: says cool, like that is funny. Anyway, Kelsie, listened to me.
- 46:00Speaker 1: You are way better than this, and you are way
- 46:02Speaker 1: tougher than this. Okay, so you have to find that
- 46:05Speaker 1: inner part of yourself that is above this, and maybe
- 46:08Speaker 1: it needs to be extinguished with this guy. Maybe you
- 46:10Speaker 1: need to actually see him for longer periods of time
- 46:13Speaker 1: so he can do the very thing that will turn
- 46:15Speaker 1: your stomach and make you realize that you're with the
- 46:17Speaker 1: right person, not the wrong one. But it's all ego.
- 46:20Speaker 1: You're allowing your ego to control you, and that's never
- 46:23Speaker 1: going to be your winning game. Right, You're cooler than that.
- 46:26Speaker 1: You're gonna get past this. And yeah, allow yourself as
- 46:30Speaker 1: much exposure as you think you need with this guy,
- 46:33Speaker 1: because I guarantee you he will give you all the
- 46:35Speaker 1: tools you need to get past it. Yeah, I think
- 46:38Speaker 1: that's true. I think reading the book will help. I
- 46:39Speaker 1: do know about attachment theory, but I haven't actually read
- 46:41Speaker 1: that book, so I'm sure that will help a lot.
- 46:43Speaker 1: And yeah, I do think seeing him maybe for longer
- 46:46Speaker 1: periods of time, just to remind myself of why things
- 46:49Speaker 1: broke off in the in the first place. So yeah,
- 46:51Speaker 1: and remind yourself every day, like, remind yourself how grateful
- 46:54Speaker 1: you are to be in a healthy relationship where you're
- 46:57Speaker 1: seen and loved and appreciate it. Keep reminding yourself of that,
- 47:01Speaker 1: you know, because eventually that feeling will take over. Yes,
- 47:05Speaker 1: for sure, for sure, Thank you, Chelsea. Oh you're welcome, Kelsey.
- 47:08Speaker 1: It's actually Kelsey for you to have a good rest
- 47:17Speaker 1: of the day. Thank you. Is it really? Am I
- 47:19Speaker 1: really using a bedroom voice? Do you feel at the
- 47:22Speaker 1: beginnings when you say hello, it's like your phone It
- 47:24Speaker 1: must be your phone voice where you like think what
- 47:26Speaker 1: it is is if I have a mic close to
- 47:28Speaker 1: my mouth, I feel like I don't want to be harsh.
- 47:30Speaker 1: There it is again, that's your bedroom voice. Well it's
- 47:32Speaker 1: definitely not harsh, so I mean, go with it. It's good.
- 47:38Speaker 1: There is nothing worse than having old feelings for someone
- 47:42Speaker 1: that you're not with. It is the most It's like
- 47:45Speaker 1: almost dehumanizing. It makes you feel so small when someone
- 47:52Speaker 1: else controls you're feeling in that way, you know, the
- 47:56Speaker 1: way like butterflies. I mean not in the good way,
- 47:58Speaker 1: because butterflies can be right but true. But the what
- 48:02Speaker 1: she described is that physical feeling, like because I've dated comics,
- 48:05Speaker 1: so it's like you're gonna see him at the club
- 48:06Speaker 1: again or whatever, or you know somebody on the other
- 48:08Speaker 1: coast if you're over there, and it is that physical reaction,
- 48:12Speaker 1: a heartbeat or your stomach turning, and you don't know
- 48:15Speaker 1: how it's gonna go between you. You're just like, I
- 48:17Speaker 1: don't know what they're gonna say to me, and the
- 48:20Speaker 1: anxiousness of it. Yeah yeah, And they know you or
- 48:23Speaker 1: that who you were at that time. That's the other part,
- 48:26Speaker 1: the intimacy of knowing you in that certain way. I
- 48:29Speaker 1: feel like it's more reckless with comics because they have
- 48:31Speaker 1: a microphone in front of their mouth. I always like
- 48:34Speaker 1: to get the first time out of the way with
- 48:36Speaker 1: any awkward reinteraction with somebody or reintroduction or first time
- 48:42Speaker 1: after something happened. I feel like it's important to get
- 48:45Speaker 1: that out of the way so that you can move
- 48:47Speaker 1: on to the next stuff, because it's always that that
- 48:49Speaker 1: we put so much weight on and we think so
- 48:52Speaker 1: heavily about, and if we could just like fast forward
- 48:56Speaker 1: to it and just do it, like look forward to it,
- 48:58Speaker 1: you know, because once you do that, then that's that's
- 49:01Speaker 1: the last first time you're going to have to see
- 49:03Speaker 1: them again. Yeah, that's true. We'll take a quick break
- 49:08Speaker 1: for an ad and then we'll be right back with
- 49:10Speaker 1: Beth selling. Hi, guys, we're back. We're back with Bath
- 49:17Speaker 1: and Catherine and Beth. You've been such a delight. I
- 49:21Speaker 1: love speaking with you. I'm so glad that we could
- 49:23Speaker 1: arrange for you to be odd. I know, thank you
- 49:25Speaker 1: so much for having me. I love the pod, and
- 49:28Speaker 1: you know, I really I was gonna say I really
- 49:30Speaker 1: care about you, which then started to feel weird. Um,
- 49:35Speaker 1: but I am really happy to be here with you.
- 49:37Speaker 1: It was just nice to talk, especially because I know
- 49:39Speaker 1: you can understand, so I appreciate you even just sharing
- 49:42Speaker 1: what you did about, you know, taking the break and
- 49:45Speaker 1: I don't know coming back. I've thought about different ways
- 49:47Speaker 1: to reinvigorate myself, and but yeah, I was struggling with
- 49:50Speaker 1: what we were saying, which is you you're so prolific
- 49:53Speaker 1: and you're writing in your books, I mean massively, and
- 49:57Speaker 1: there has been part of me that's like, oh, I
- 49:58Speaker 1: should write a book and all friend even Phoebe Robinson
- 50:01Speaker 1: has an imprint and she's even mentioned to me like, hey,
- 50:03Speaker 1: have you thought about And it's like, what's stopping me?
- 50:06Speaker 1: Is it me? Am I being self sabotaged? You right now?
- 50:09Speaker 1: Am I being a whiny baby after my special or
- 50:12Speaker 1: is it? Really? It's not one way or the other.
- 50:14Speaker 1: We just there's a pandemic going on, a lot of
- 50:19Speaker 1: things going on in the world, and I just have
- 50:22Speaker 1: to start over. And that's something that was delayed. And
- 50:24Speaker 1: anytime you have to start over, it's difficult. So delaying
- 50:28Speaker 1: it and not getting back on the road may have
- 50:30Speaker 1: extended those feelings. There you go, that's exactly right. You
- 50:33Speaker 1: just need a little fire under your ass and you're
- 50:36Speaker 1: gonna have to unfortunately light it yourself, you know, Yeah, yeah,
- 50:40Speaker 1: Denver will hope, I think it will. It will. All
- 50:43Speaker 1: you do is take a couple of like steps in
- 50:44Speaker 1: the right direction, and then you're often you're running and
- 50:47Speaker 1: everything starts going towards what you're working for, you know,
- 50:50Speaker 1: And it's totally normal to feel you're the way you're feeling.
- 50:53Speaker 1: Do you know how many people who have said this,
- 50:54Speaker 1: you know, who are like, I can't do anything, you
- 50:57Speaker 1: feel desultory. It's just like it's so list Yeah, it's like,
- 51:01Speaker 1: oh fuck, what's the point of anything? Yeah? But what
- 51:06Speaker 1: if you know what you do is going to save somebody?
- 51:09Speaker 1: What if what you right is going to save somebody?
- 51:12Speaker 1: And it will most likely you know, you're going to
- 51:15Speaker 1: have an impact on others. And if that's the motivation
- 51:18Speaker 1: you need, then use that. Yeah I will. And just
- 51:21Speaker 1: like we said, I remember, have a little more fun
- 51:23Speaker 1: on the road, Like people are happy there to see you,
- 51:26Speaker 1: and it's just there to have a good time because
- 51:29Speaker 1: I am thankful for them every time they show up.
- 51:30Speaker 1: It's just like that weird almost block I put up
- 51:33Speaker 1: when you Sometimes it feels like that at the comedy store,
- 51:36Speaker 1: like there's other you know, there's venues that you love
- 51:38Speaker 1: that you feel comfortable and you can just get right
- 51:40Speaker 1: into yourself. I feel very like much like that at
- 51:43Speaker 1: Largo or but the store. Sometimes the dudes in the
- 51:46Speaker 1: front I just get this vibe. It's like arms crossed,
- 51:48Speaker 1: like we'll see if you can make me laugh. And
- 51:51Speaker 1: that's the vibe that I'm almost projecting, which these people
- 51:55Speaker 1: don't deserve. They paid to come see me. So I
- 51:58Speaker 1: need to just sort of get a little more positive
- 52:00Speaker 1: with that. Yeah, and maybe stay away from the comedy
- 52:03Speaker 1: store for a while if it's going to bring out
- 52:04Speaker 1: those feelings in you. You know, I find the common
- 52:06Speaker 1: I would never go to the comedy store. Watch I'll
- 52:08Speaker 1: be there next week. But I mean, you know, don't
- 52:11Speaker 1: like go to places that don't make you feel good
- 52:13Speaker 1: until you can go there and feel good no matter
- 52:15Speaker 1: what happens. Absolutely I agree with that. I've avoided Buffalo
- 52:19Speaker 1: for years. I can't say any of the cities I'm
- 52:25Speaker 1: trying to avoid because I'm about to go. I'm about
- 52:27Speaker 1: to go to every single one. It's gonna say, you're
- 52:30Speaker 1: facing your fears. Yeah, well that before we let you go.
- 52:34Speaker 1: Do you have a piece of advice you'd like to
- 52:35Speaker 1: ask of challenge? Well, I've milked it slowly throughout. I
- 52:38Speaker 1: knew what I was, I got what I needed. But
- 52:42Speaker 1: I ask a question would be how many times is
- 52:45Speaker 1: the regular amount of times to pee in the night.
- 52:47Speaker 1: Oh god, you know what, I think. I go too
- 52:49Speaker 1: many times. I go. I've been going to be like
- 52:51Speaker 1: four times every single night, and I feel like that's
- 52:55Speaker 1: a lot. I think something's wrong. Well, Joe doesn't pea
- 52:58Speaker 1: at all in the middle of the night, so it's
- 52:59Speaker 1: definitely a female thing, which we know. But it used
- 53:03Speaker 1: to be two times and now it's four times. I'm
- 53:06Speaker 1: up there as well. I'll go to the doctor and
- 53:08Speaker 1: find out for the both of us. Actually, I'm a doctor,
- 53:11Speaker 1: so I don't. I just I look into it and
- 53:14Speaker 1: i'll announce it on next week. You know. I need
- 53:17Speaker 1: to go back and watch your special in the beginning
- 53:19Speaker 1: and take the notes on what I need to take.
- 53:21Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and when they I'll send you. I'll send
- 53:23Speaker 1: you a special subscription. I mean prescription EXCT. Actually no,
- 53:27Speaker 1: I'll send you a subscription and then I'm prescription. They
- 53:30Speaker 1: go well together, all right. Thank you, Beth. Yeah, thanks
- 53:34Speaker 1: for having me. I can't wait to see your new stuff.
- 53:37Speaker 1: You'll need to see you in first and your new stuff. Okay,
- 53:41Speaker 1: bye bye bye, Thanks Beth. Yeah, well, Charlsa, do you
- 53:46Speaker 1: want to tell us about you? Show dates coming up? Guys,
- 53:48Speaker 1: I'm coming February three. I have two shows in Portland.
- 53:52Speaker 1: The second show still has tickets, so please get them.
- 53:56Speaker 1: And then I'm coming to Eugene on the five, and
- 53:58Speaker 1: then I am going back to Whistler, and then I
- 54:03Speaker 1: have more dates coming up all over Canada in March
- 54:07Speaker 1: and April, and then I'm coming back to the States
- 54:10Speaker 1: for the remainder of my Vaccinated and Horny tour. I'm
- 54:13Speaker 1: coming to Louisville, Kentucky, Birmingham, Alabama, Montclair, New Jersey, Santa Rosa, California,
- 54:20Speaker 1: all sorts of ship So get your tickets and I
- 54:23Speaker 1: will see you on my stand up tour. Also for
- 54:26Speaker 1: tickets to Vancouver and Calgary. I really apologize for all
- 54:30Speaker 1: the changing of dates, but now the Grammys have been
- 54:32Speaker 1: rescheduled for the day that I was going to reschedule
- 54:35Speaker 1: my Vancouver dates. And I don't get nominated for Grammys
- 54:38Speaker 1: very often people, so I have to go to those.
- 54:41Speaker 1: So we are rescheduling again the Vancouver and Calgary dates.
- 54:45Speaker 1: They are most likely to be rescheduled in August. But
- 54:47Speaker 1: you can always check my website we will update, or
- 54:50Speaker 1: Instagram or Twitter. We updated all the time and as
- 54:53Speaker 1: soon as we have those dates locked in, you will
- 54:55Speaker 1: hear about it, so my apologies and any tickets you
- 54:59Speaker 1: have will be nerd for those new rescheduled dates. And
- 55:02Speaker 1: if you'd like to get advice from Chelsea and one
- 55:04Speaker 1: of her guests, please write into Dear Chelsea Project at
- 55:08Speaker 1: gmail dot com