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Mindset Shift: The Shift begins wth You · Sandra Elizabeth - The Leadership Collective

• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: A mindset shift is a change in the way you think, interpret situations, and respond to life.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: It means replacing old beliefs, replacing habits or perspectives that may be holding you back with a healthier and more productive way of thinking.
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: So simply put, when you change the way you think, you change the way you respond.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that can change the direction of your life.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for joining me.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Sandra Elizabeth.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: Today's podcast is entitled The Shift Begins With You.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: What if the thing that needs to change first isn't your situation?
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: It's not your job, not your relationship, not your circumstances, not even the people around you?
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: What if the first shift needs to happen in you?
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: We spend so much time thinking.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: If they would change, I'd be happier.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: If I had a better opportunity, I would move forward.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: If my circumstances were different, if I had money or if I had more support, if that hadn't happened to me, isn't those some of the questions that you are asking yourself?
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes those things are very real.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: There are circumstances we didn't choose, there are disappointments we didn't create, there are things people have done that we cannot undo, and there are doors that we genuinely cannot open for ourselves.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: But here's where the mindset shift begins.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: You may not be able to change what happened, but you can change what happens next.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what this new series is all about.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Not pretending that everything is wonderful.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: How often it's so easy to smile and go about life as if everything is okay.
• 2:10
  SPEAKER_00: So it's not positive thinking for the sake of positive thinking and certainly not ignoring reality.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: It's about learning to recognize the difference between what you cannot control and what you still have the power to change.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the first thing that has to change is the way we think.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Because when our thinking changes, our decisions can change.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: When our decisions change, our actions can change.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: And when our actions change consistently enough, our direction can change.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_00: There are stories that we keep telling ourselves.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Every one of us carries a story about our life.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: We tell ourselves things like, I've always been like this.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm too old to start again.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have the right connections.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody takes me seriously.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not confident.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: People always disappoint me.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_00: Or nothing ever works out for me.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: I may have missed my opportunity.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: And the problem isn't simply that we think these things.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: The problem begins when we start treating them as facts, facts about our lives.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a difference between this happened to me and this is who I am.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's a difference between I failed and I'm a failure.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: There's a difference between that opportunity didn't work and nothing ever works for me.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_00: See, one describes an experience, but the other creates an identity.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: And when something becomes a part of your identity, you begin making decisions that protect that identity.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you've decided that you're not confident, you'll avoid opportunities that require confidence.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you decided nobody can be trusted, you'll keep good people at a distance.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: If you've decided you're too old to begin again, you'll stop looking for new beginnings.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes the prison isn't the circumstances anymore.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's the story we build around the circumstances.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So let's get to the points.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Point number one, from why did this happen to what can I do with what happened?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing wrong with asking why.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we need answers, sometimes we need to understand.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: But there are situations where the answer never comes.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And you can spend years and years waiting for an explanation that may never arrive.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_00: Why did they do that?
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: Why didn't I get the opportunity?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Why did that relationship end?
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Why wasn't I appreciated?
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: Why did my plan fail?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: At some point, another question becomes more useful.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do with what happened?
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_00: See, maybe you learned something.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you discovered a boundary you should have had.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you discovered a strength you didn't even know that you possessed.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you learned what you will never tolerate again.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you discovered what really matters, and maybe the experience revealed something about yourself that success never would have revealed.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: See, you don't have to call something good in order to take something good from it.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's what a mindset shift is about.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Point number two, from waiting for somebody to rescue you to taking responsibility.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: This can be one very uncomfortable exercise.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: There are times when we genuinely need help, we need people, we need support, we need community, we need family.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: But there's a difference between receiving support and waiting for somebody else to take responsibility for our future.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we are waiting, waiting for somebody to apologize, waiting for somebody to do the right thing, waiting for somebody to recognize value, waiting for somebody to give you permission, waiting for somebody to open a door or to motivate us, waiting for somebody to believe in us.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: But what if they don't?
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And most times they don't.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: So how long are you prepared to put your future on hold?
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_00: Taking responsibility doesn't mean that everything that happened was your responsibility.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: That's an important distinction.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can be responsible for your next step without being responsible for what happened to you.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: That's powerful because responsibility gives you back something.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: Helplessness takes away choice.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Who can I call?
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: What can I learn?
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: What can I stop?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_00: Or even where can I begin?
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: What is one decision that's still mine to make?
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: That's where movement begins.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: Number three, from I can't to I haven't learned how yet.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Listen to the language that you use about yourself.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I can't do technology, I can't speak in public, I'm terrible with money, I'm not a leader, I can't start a business, I'm not creative.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I can't simply means I don't know how yet.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: And those are completely different statements.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Saying I can't closes the door.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Saying I haven't learned yet leaves the door open.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_00: See, one creates a conclusion, but the other one creates a possibility.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine changing this.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm terrible at this to saying I'm still learning this.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Or you could say I'll never understand this, but change that to I don't understand this yet.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: That tiny little word yet changes the whole direction of the sentence.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes a mindset shift begins with just simply changing the language that you repeatedly use about yourself.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: Number four, from focusing on what you lost to recognizing what remains.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: Loss has a way of filling the entire picture.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: You lose a relationship and forget the people who still want you around.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: You lose an opportunity and forget the abilities that you still possess.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: You may lose money and forget the knowledge that you gained.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You can lose a position but begin believing you lost your value.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: But what you actually lost and who you are are not the same thing.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself, what do I still have?
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: You have your experience, your knowledge, your creativity, your faith, the relationships you need, your voice, your ability to learn, you have courage, you have confidence, you have reputation, you have your time, you have your ideas.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes rebuilding doesn't begin by replacing everything that you lost.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: It begins by recognizing what survived and perhaps what remains enough to begin again.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Point number five, it's too late to what can I do from here.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: So one of the most damaging sentences we can tell ourselves is, hey, it's too late.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes, yes, a particular opportunity has passed.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: We shouldn't pretend that every door stays open forever, but one door closing doesn't mean that your entire future is closed.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you can go back, maybe you cannot go back, but you don't need to go back to move forward.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, what could I have done 10 years ago?
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: The question is, what can I do from here?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: See, you can't make decisions for the person you were ten years ago, but you can make a decision for the person listening to this podcast today, and that's the person who still has choices.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: Number six, from wanting a different life to making different decisions.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: This may be the biggest one.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: We often want different outcomes while repeating the same decisions.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: We want peace but keep returning to chaos.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: We want financial stability but don't change our financial habits.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: We want to be confident but we avoid everything that stretches us.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: We want to grow, but we keep choosing comfort.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: We want a different future while protecting the habits that created our present.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually, something has got to shift.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: A different future usually requires different decisions, not necessarily one enormous decision.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's small.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Getting up early, making the phone call, studying, walking away, saying no, saying yes, starting over again, setting the boundary, writing the first page.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: One decision may not change your entire life tomorrow, but repeated decisions change your direction, and direction, given enough time, changes destination.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: My question to you today is where does the shift need to begin?
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Ask yourself, if nothing changes, where will I be a year from now?
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: So you don't need to answer that quickly.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: Think about your relationships, think about your job, your work, think about your finances, your personal development, your habits, your confidence, your dreams.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you continue thinking the same way and making the same decisions, where does this road lead?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: Then answer these questions.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: What situation am I spending the most energy wishing would change?
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: What part of this is actually within my control?
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: What story have I been repeatedly telling myself?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: What am I waiting for somebody else to do?
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: What can I do even if they never do?
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to challenge you today.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: For the next seven days, listen to your own language.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: And remember, it's never too late, no matter how old you are.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: So every time you hear yourself saying, I can't, it's too late, nothing ever works.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: That's just who I am.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: There's nothing I can do.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Stop.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Don't pretend the problem doesn't exist.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: You simply ask yourself, is there another way to think about this?
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: Then follow it with what is still within my control.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_00: You're now starting to train yourself to move from helpless thinking to intentional thinking.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that is where mindset shift begins.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: As I come to the end of this podcast, I want to remind you that you may not be able to rewrite everything that has happened in your life.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: You cannot control every person, you cannot reopen doors, you cannot recover every opportunity, but you are not standing in yesterday.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You're standing in today.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: And today still contains choices.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: You can think differently, you can respond differently, you can learn something new, you can even set a new boundary, you can make a new call, you can begin again.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: You can stop waiting for somebody else's direction or somebody else's decision to determine yours.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe that's the shift that you needed to hear today.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: So stop asking when is everything around me going to change and begin asking what can change in me even if nothing around me changes yet.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we spend years waiting for a new season when the first step into that season is really a new way of thinking.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: Your circumstances may have shaped part of your story.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: Other people may have influenced some chapters, and some pages may contain things you would never have chosen.
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: But don't hand them the pen for everything that comes next.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: You may not control every chapter you've lived, but you can still participate in writing the next one.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: So for this week, don't try to change your entire life.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Change one thought, make one different decision, take one different step.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because a mindset shift doesn't always begin with something enormous.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it begins with one simple realization.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_00: The shift begins with me.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: Until next time, keep growing, keep learning, keep believing, and keep becoming the very best version of yourself.