Latest / 4 The Exchange / Entering your 30's
Transcript
- LayTheDon: What's up, world? It's your girl, Laida Dong. We back with another episode on For the Exchange. I got Kev, Kobe Two Code, and your boy Gofredo Big Bite. What's up? What's up? What's up? So we're gonna dive GoFredo: Rawr rawr rawr LayTheDon: right into this episode. Kobi: Right. LayTheDon: unfortunately, y'all know I am slowly approaching that age of 30. GoFredo: Mm. Mm-mm-mm. Kobi: You me both? You want me both? LayTheDon: As well, as well as my boy Kobe too code. And we know we already got our two uncles, you know, our our two unks online. So I just had some questions. You know, I had some I need some advice. Cause as I'm slowly approaching this 30 years of age, like I just want to know, like, what was life what what what was life to y'all mentally, emotionally, physically? How is life for y'all now that y'all have hit y'all 30s versus what y'all originally playing for y'all 30s to be? Like for example, like both y one of y'all b one of y'all got kids, one of y'all didn't. We start with care we'll start with care first. You are thirty with one kid, correct? Kevin: One, one and one only. GoFredo: No. Kobi: you LayTheDon: Was you expecting Kevin: ain't like how you say it kids. was like, hold on slow your rolls, slow your rolls, slow your rolls. LayTheDon: were you expecting to have a kid by the age of thirty? And now that you have GoFredo: you LayTheDon: a kid, how are you navigating thirty with kids? GoFredo: Hey, hold on, you tried to make it seem like you got like, you got like, both five kids? Kobi: you Kevin: And they just floating out there, like they just floating around in a primer and about. LayTheDon: That's why I I I confirmed he has one kid. Dis birth verification purposes. You Kobi: It was just verification. GoFredo: Hey! Hey! Hey! LayTheDon: have a kid at the it's your beautiful age of what thirty-one, thirty-two? Kevin: They put all my business out, all right? right, all right. GoFredo: You Kobi: Hehehehehe Kevin: Starting off like that. GoFredo: Hey, she said you got one kid question mark and there's you 3132 question mark. Kobi: you LayTheDon: I just wanna make sure all my facts are straight, you know what? But like how GoFredo: You LayTheDon: how how is life navigating with the kid at your age of, you know, in your 30s? And were you planning on or were you was that like a goal to have a kid by the time you hit 30? Kevin: Well, I'm gonna say, GoFredo: that's a good one. Kevin: yeah, yeah, that is a good one. Well, I'm gonna say this. I knew I eventually wanted to have kids. I didn't put a date on it. Like, wasn't like, I really didn't put it out there like by 30, I wanna have one, two kids, something like that. I could say now, so my daughter, was born when I was 27. You know what mean? So I was approaching. So I was like at the end, the end of my 20s when that happened. And I'll say this, it kind of shifted the way my life was. So it made my responsibility just, the way I viewed responsibility move up faster. If that makes sense for you. Cause then it was like, all right, like I can't be just spending all types of money before and all that. You know I mean? I can't. move around the same way I did. Now I became a little bit more family oriented at the end of my 20s and it was a goal, you know what I mean? But I think what really, what it really comes down to was did I find the right person or did you find the right person to make all those moves at the end of the day? I can speak from the career perspective. Now I'll say this, I've been working in the same field since I was 20. So, you know, I had the career path in mind already what I wanted to do. So I kind of, I climbed the ladder. I've been, you know, started at entry level in the company, moved up, moved up, moved up to a point that now like I can have my own, I have my own business now, you know? So I started the business last year, went official with it just in this past May. And I'm doing well with it. I'm doing well with it. GoFredo: Congratulations. Congratulations. Kevin: Now, Kobi: We love that food. LayTheDon: Yes, yes, this is him. With your one key. Yes. Kevin: One kid, one kid. One kid. Kobi: the GoFredo: Question mark. LayTheDon: So Fredo, GoFredo: One kid question mark. LayTheDon: Fredo, you in your 30s with no kids. Kevin: Hehehehehe LayTheDon: How has life treated you differently between your 20s and your 30s? Or how have you approached life in your 30s without feed? GoFredo: man see LayTheDon: And were you expecting kids by the age of thirty? GoFredo: You, what I can say is, is, is, is life gonna do what life gonna do? Kobi: No bag, tell us all. Tell it all. LayTheDon: There you go, that unc that I'll answer right there. Kevin: answer the question, not really answer Kobi: Tell it off, friendo! Kevin: the question. See, I ain't that old yet. Like I answer all my questions thoroughly. He not giving y'all any. GoFredo: Hey, no. No, that means I'm playing. LayTheDon: Let me put it like this. I don't have kids. So I think I would benefit more from Fredo's question. But I think his answer was more beneficial to Kobe with the key. I'm almost 30 GoFredo: Well, what I was saying... LayTheDon: with no kids. Kobe almost 30 with a kid. GoFredo: What I would say, what I would say, he's got one question LayTheDon: Just more. GoFredo: mark. Kobi: I didn't want. GoFredo: No, let me stop there. Honestly, I would say the way to Avenue is that it's been, it's been interesting. It's a level of, it's like it's different levels to go through. You got your friends that's. you know, married with kids or married and they going through their lives and whatnot. Or you got your homies as with kids and whatnot. You kind of see a life and you kind of found your lane. Excuse me. Yo, essentially your niche as they are safe throughout life, like enjoying it, traveling, going through your, you know, healing process, becoming here within yourself and whatnot, coming to a point where you realize in that I don't want to say that you okay with not having certain things and whatnot and not experiencing certain things. But now you're more grateful for a lot of the things that you were able to experience, your time, your energy you put into something, just everything of that nature. Just like I look at my, you know, my, my homie, Kevin, him talk all the time because y'all know I had a little dilemma last year or whatnot. I was almost, you know, boosted to ground myself when it comes to being a being in that situation. in with that, LayTheDon: We beat the group. GoFredo: but then coming back to not having, because I was still in my 30s when that happened. just being in that situation to where you realize that, it was a point in time where I did think by the time I was 30, I had me about two or three by this time and whatnot. So as you get older and you get to, yeah, honestly, two or three. And it was mainly because of like the LayTheDon: Three. GoFredo: Yeah, y'all Kobi: You GoFredo: know I was in a long-term relationship. So I expected to have two or three by that time, by the time I was 30, because I was expecting certain things to stem from that relationship. Then getting Kevin: Thank GoFredo: closer to my 30s, I thought that I'd have at least one. And then now it's just kind of like, like I said in last episodes, I'm kind of picking and choosing wisely how I move. what energy I wanted to put into certain situations and whatnot. I would say, like I said, I'm on a hillside of the 30 that kind of dealt with his trauma in his 20s and whatnot, figured all that out, still was able to have fun, have a good time, but didn't do nothing too crazy to where, you know, my body got hurt for it. Like I'm not really aching when I go through certain things and whatnot. I'm not really stressing about too much stuff. It's just mainly, I would say life. Like with just the repetition of just life and maintaining. The one thing I would say in your 30s when you don't have a kid or anything like that, I would say the continuous Kevin: you GoFredo: motivation of what you're gonna do, what your achievements are, keep going at the yo-go, keep deciding to wake up in the morning when life don't go in your direction, basically. Because you have, like I look at the, when I look at like my brother, Kevin: Okay. Okay. GoFredo: and I look at Kev and I see he with his daughter having a good time and me and him, excuse me, and me haven't had a conversation like this before that is certain levels of happiness that I may not reach. And so I can look at him and just be like, man, that's amazing. That's a certain level of happiness. But I know he'll probably look at something I'm able to do and be like, man, it'd be cool to do that. it's just like, what's that? So it's a. Kobi: What do you think? GoFredo: No, it's not a possibility. that phrase. That phrase, I believe is something is a thief of joy. And so I can't remember the phrase of itself, but I believe looking at Kev and see what he got and just admiring that and being suckered in. I don't want to say suckered in, but admiring that and just looking at that and not enjoying the blessings that I have and what I got going on and everything of that nature. So I would say. Just keep doing you, stay on your path no matter what the situation is, keep your morals intact. The more you go, 30 is going to Kevin: you GoFredo: test your patience again as if it did in your 20s. I would say this whether kid or no kid, you're wiser now, so use that to your advantage. So it's almost like the one thing I say I love, like for me, how I view it, not having a kid, I get it like a reset of like, essentially my 20s to where like I'm wiser now. I'm still my body still able to move how I want to move as long as I'm like, you know, eating, eating healthy as you should throughout life, no matter what, working out, monitoring certain things like you still have that spout, not spout that, that push to still be able to maneuver around and do certain things in life and whatnot. to me, I'll just say you keep your, your life experience close to your vest. Always remember it. and for career paths. Honestly, I don't know where I fully expected to land. I was a kid that expected to go to the league and whatnot. like my 20s was still, no, I was a dog. You gotta see the tape. Okay, so was like, okay, so you know, you know I had an injury too, so yeah. Kobi: Yeah. LayTheDon: There fool. I I I watch you. Kevin: Bro was a dog. I'ma give you that. I'ma give you that. Kobi: Thank GoFredo: I was a dog, you had a seat to take. You had a seat to take. I was out there, I was out there. But no, but certain things in life happened and whatnot. then, so I know what that feeling is like when you were athlete going through like that level of turmoil when that was your goal to make it to the league and then trying to figure out life, school, work and everything like that. So it's just one of those things to where I took the different route from care. It was more build my experiences in other ways and kind of stack my resume with multiple experience and multiple jobs and whatnot to kind of stack it up to just one of those things to where it's management and it's leadership skills and it's leadership things when it comes to that. But at the same time, it's just one of those things that I would say number one in your thirties, find a way to work for yourself. There's so many different avenues, so many different things, especially like Kevin: Okay. Okay. GoFredo: in your twenties for both of y'all, would say there's some. Kevin: Okay. GoFredo: It's some odd stuff I wish somebody would have told us when we were younger. Find a way to invest in yourself, for real. By all means, invest in yourself fully forward, no matter what the situation is. That may be, people don't take that as serious, and some people may find it hilarious, but investing in yourself is key, in all means. And Kev wanted to invest in it, already invested in itself in his whole business, so. What you think, Kev, when it comes to you investing in yourself and how you feel about fully basically working for yourself? Kevin: Man, I'm gonna say this, it's a different feeling. Number one is this, think, I'm gonna say this, it takes a certain type of person to truly work for themself. And GoFredo: Yes. Kevin: I say that because I'm somebody like, I don't like being told what to do. And it GoFredo: Okay. Kevin: took years of being told, you know what I'm saying, what to do. I'm like, yeah, nah, I can't deal with this no more. You know I'm saying? And that's not all the reason. LayTheDon: Felipe. Kevin: That's not all the reason. But I say that because you have to be GoFredo: It's one of them. Kevin: a self-starter. You gotta be. Because you have to put the pressure on yourself. You don't wanna be told what to do. That means you gotta develop your own good habits and whatever it is you do. And that's outside, it's real. You gotta develop your own habits outside of work. That's just reality. Cause you get older and bro, you brought up a really good point that I wanted to actually kinda expand on in habits. so like right now I'm gonna tell you this like, so like 30 is, I think like when you're a teenager and then your 20s, 30 seems old, but it's not. but your, I'm gonna say this, your body does change. I'm gonna say that your body change, your body changes, but you still feel good. GoFredo: It is now though. But this is the thing though. LayTheDon: Them check engine lights come on. GoFredo: But, but, but, but, but Kia of LA, LayTheDon: Internet. GoFredo: that's now though. Like, like I know y'all like 29, 30. So, but y'all remember being like 18, 19, your uncles and y'all 30s and uncles and aunties in their 30s. It was still different. Like that level to them Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: was different. Like 30 didn't seem like when I look at my uncles now and I look at them. and me and my cousin was talking about it. was like, and you know, so and so was 30 when this and it's just like, damn, they was 30 at this. And it's just like, you don't even realize what it was. Now Kevin: Yeah GoFredo: it's like, and I think social media plays a factor, but now it makes it like 30 seem like it's this, like you're 50 years old, you like, you know, no disrespect to our people in the forties, but it seemed like this 30 is 30 to new 40, as they say in fashion. But at the end of the day, like it Kevin: Mm-hmm. LayTheDon: Yep. GoFredo: was a point in time where we was, remember being 15, 16, and like we all in the same age range. So we now know what I'm talking about to where in like the early 2000s or 2010s and whatnot in that era to where your uncles came around. You didn't even realize that they was 30 because they would still be parlaying. They'd still been going to the club. They would have still been out partying. They would have went to work, came back, cracked them up into 40, you know, sit back. They would still have something like it was still that like we still got to see aunts and aunties have a good time together as like a community to a certain extent. And that goes back to Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: our last episode. But I didn't mean to cut you off, kid, but it just threw me off because everybody makes it seem like 30-0, but like we remember a time when 30 was like, they living good in 30. Kevin: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, and I say that because, you know, they think that, you know, you, you, you, you can't move around. I'm gonna say this, you definitely got to take care of yourself. GoFredo: does. Kevin: This is the point where you like, you got to be on top of that. And I'll tell you this, like I still like, I'm still very much in the gym, but I'm gonna tell you this, my recovery now is not like how it was when I was 20. It's not. Yo, listen, like I, I, GoFredo: I agree with that. LayTheDon: Say three or five business days. GoFredo: Hehehehehe Kevin: In certain movements, I won't even do no more. dudes be like, because I was competing, you know what I'm I was competing back in the day. So like, you know, I was one of them dudes where I'm like, yo, I was trying to, I'm trying to squat 500. You know what I'm saying? So like, GoFredo: Yeah, right. LayTheDon: I've missed it. Kevin: you know I'm saying? It's one of those things. So like now it's like, I look at guys doing that, man, you tripping doing all that. I don't even want to do that no more. You know I mean? Because your recovery is just not there. And there's some guys my age that's still getting it. but they're committed to it, you know what mean? Once you lose the commitment to it, it's hard to get back. bro, you have made such a good point. GoFredo: Yeah, that level, that level of commitment. Kevin: Yeah, yeah, that level of commitment. Like, I'm still, nothing wrong with that. I still get my workout in. GoFredo: Yeah! Kevin: But it's a little bit different, huh? LayTheDon: What you bitch right now? What you bitch right now? Kevin: Yo, I don't even do a regular barbell bench. I'm dumbbells only, right? LayTheDon: What you d what'd you dumbbell right now? Kevin: Now my dumbbells, I'm hitting them 120s. I'm hitting them 120s on the dumbbells. LayTheDon: Why? Kevin: I'm up there, I'm up there. On the bench, I don't get it down on the bench like that no more. LayTheDon: Which was quite. Kobi: Kevin, you need to send me your general team. Kevin: We'll have him, bro. LayTheDon: We should we we we which is quiet. Kevin: My squat, I haven't maxed out on the squat in like three years. I just don't have the need to do it no more. You know what I mean? Like I'll go up, the heaviest I'm going up in the last year, I've hit like 275. Just to see if I could, just to see how it felt. GoFredo: That's good. Kevin: like, don't like, you know LayTheDon: Did you hear? Kevin: what it is? I don't like that feeling on my neck and my back no more. GoFredo: Talk about did it hurt? Kobi: think it is. LayTheDon: Yeah. Kevin: And I don't get into that. GoFredo: Hey, you wanna know what Kobi: This is Kevin: I gotta Kobi: crazy. Kevin: get up and go to work. I gotta get up and go to work, GoFredo: I was just gonna say bro, you want to know what it is like because like in your 20s when you lift in like You it's like it's almost like you lifted for something, you know, like you lifted at least for Kevin: You fearless. Yeah. GoFredo: us in our era and whatnot I know it's a little bit different now We had a discussion early about like, know health and whatnot But like you was looking for something and you was young you wanted to max out it was a boost of confidence and whatnot But like I like I'm Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: with Kevin your 30s. Hey, I'm just I'm just reps I don't need to know I can bench 300 pounds Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: anymore. I don't need to know if I can squat 500 pounds and anything like Kevin: Yeah, no, no. GoFredo: that. Because now I'm just in there to get a good rep. I'm just in there to get a good workout, Kevin: He's at it. GoFredo: a good rep and kind of go from there. Like for the guys that's like Kair said, competing and at that level, they're in, it's also a community thing as well, I believe. So they're in that community where they talking about it. Now, like Kair said, you get into your 30s, you ain't really hanging around that many people. to be like, hey bro, I maxed out on da da da da, you know, what you max out on. Because it really is just an ego thing, so you and your homies talking about it. So like, but now when you ain't got them homies, yeah, yeah. Kevin: You hit it right on the nose. The ego. The ego deflates so much as you get older. GoFredo: Because think about it, who you talking to? Like who you like, unless you consistently in there maxing out and kind of going from there, like. You just sitting there getting your workout in, getting in and out like Kair said, man, I must got to work in the morning. I do that. heard that. I Kobi: You Kevin: Yo. GoFredo: heard that she showed him my work is coming on confidence. Like the work is going to. Kevin: Hey, hey, hey, hey, and then think about it like this, right? So I'm gonna say this, the older you get and the more ambitious you get, your circle is gonna shrink. It's just natural. happens. So it should, 100 % should. GoFredo: Yes, it should, it should. Because a lot of people don't, it should shrink. Kevin: uh-huh. And then to your point, bro, because of that, what do I sound like going, you know, I had 325. Hey, yo, hey, Alfredo, 325 on the bed today. You gonna be like, huh? You'll be like, okay, congratulations. GoFredo: Hey, now look, I ain't gonna cap. It is like in your early 20s, y'all kind of passed this stage though, but like in the early 20s, like if he'd have called me, I'm all right back. You go into the gym and you kind of max out and you kind of get, and you kind of use that as competition and kind of go from there. I like, if he told me that, it is still because it's friendly competition, it's still be level of competition. But at the end of the day, It's not really warranty because it's an ego thing. To me it would just be like, OK, that's what's up, bro. Congratulations. You're doing your thing. know, click. Like, all right, that's what's up. Kevin: You GoFredo: Not who I'm going to tell. Like, I going to tell nobody. Kevin: Yo, right, right, right, right. And then you know what the worst part is? Hey, I'ma say this. Outside of women, some women at the gym, yo, women don't care about none of that. They don't care how your physique really is. Like, these dudes with all types of, all types of dad bod, dad bods that's LayTheDon: First of all, we like bad bonds anyway, but that's not the point. GoFredo: See? See? Kevin: getting the girl. They don't care about none of that. They don't care about none of that. LayTheDon: Dad bots is winning, what you mean? We like daddies over here. GoFredo: See? Talk about daddy. LayTheDon: We like daddies over here. Kevin: They don't care about none of that. GoFredo: And that's LayTheDon: Speaking of that. GoFredo: the thing, like I was saying, you should be more aware about that stuff like that. like, you're working out, that's why you hitting 320 has nothing to do with the workout, because now you're just standing in shape to look good for yourself, whatever the case like that may be. You ain't trying to bench out on 500 pounds unless you're competing. Kevin: No, exactly. Exactly. I'm over here. I'm trying to stay strong enough. I'm carrying on this 30 pound, this 30 pound kid. You know GoFredo: Ciao, yeah. Kevin: what saying? As I'm saying this. Kobi: Glad my... That's... That time in my life is over. My skin will walk. Kevin: Yeah. LayTheDon: I I was gonna say speaking of kids, Kobe, you got a kid too, right? Kevin: Thanks. LayTheDon: I'm about to ask GoFredo: Question mark. LayTheDon: you some questions, Toby, your beautiful child. you almost thirty. Kobi: Almost. LayTheDon: Yeah, after 27 isn't you don't have an age no more. You're just almost 30 now. I've been told that. Kobi: All right. LayTheDon: you so I'm I'm GoFredo: I'm talking about almost 30. LayTheDon: sure, I'm sure were you we gonna I'm gonna ask you this question. One, were you expecting to have a kid by now or bore before or by thirty? And how is life navigating before your thirties and what are you looking forward to as you start approaching your thirties while having a kid and career wise? Kobi: we're gonna start from the beginning. Was I expecting to have a kid at my age? No. Once I graduated out of high school, I wasn't really sure what my life would go and proceed to become. It came down to the wire, you know, when you doing grown folks things Kevin: you Kobi: at the age when you should do a grown folks things. GoFredo: Hey gang, yo, you a philosopher, cut. Just say y'all was bumping skins, bump to bump, skin to skin, body to body. This is what I'm talking about. LayTheDon: Yeah, the screen, my boy. Kobi: when you are hunting at a young age. Kevin: I thought we answered like an unc. I thought we answered like an unc, man. LayTheDon: Uh-huh. Hold on. At what age did you have your kids? GoFredo: Hey, Kobi: No. GoFredo: I'm like, Kev, you gave the uncancer. Kevin: He said, when you handle a grown man's LayTheDon: At at what age did you have your kid, first of all? Kevin: things. Kobi: I was 19 turning GoFredo: you Kobi: 20. LayTheDon: Are you? GoFredo: My man said, we was doing things that adults do, so when you do adult things. LayTheDon: He was doing gross both things in nineteen hundred and twenty. Got it. GoFredo: That man said, Kobi: Listen, listen. GoFredo: we was doing the things that adults do, so when you're doing adult things, things happen. Boy, you talking to us like it's the Kobi: Yeah! GoFredo: birds and the bees. Kobi: Damn, is. But, no, I was 19 turning 20. Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: Hey, just say I was skin to skin. Kobi: Skinny skin and hunching, you know, there's a word that everybody like to use now. And it happened. Was it expected? I know what I did. I know what was done. So it was expected at that point. GoFredo: Now he Drake I did what I did and I've done what I've done Kobi: you So, Kevin: Yo. GoFredo: You Kobi: that, that me having my baby at a young age definitely matured me at an accelerated rate where I had to a roof over her head and make sure she was good when she got here. So I did all that. Being a father at the age of 20 is, is, is difficult due to the fact that I have to, I have a lot. on my back. I not only have myself to worry about, I have to have a newborn to worry about as well. unlike our fellow man Kev, I had mine as young. I didn't necessarily have a direct plan on what I wanted my future to look like as of yet, but that accelerated it a lot. So my main thing now is to build generational wealth for her so she can be okay. I only have one, that's my one and only, my pride and joy, like Kev. I know he's going to do whatever he can and what if he needs to for his little one. I'm doing the same thing. Mine is actually about to turn eight this year. GoFredo: Okay, congratulations. Congratulations. Kobi: The look on your face is freaky. LayTheDon: Who you don't thought it's our eight? That's crazy. Kobi: I'm just about to turn eight. She's GoFredo: as a license. Kobi: exactly, LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. Kobi: she's 20 years younger than me. LayTheDon: I know that I can do math. GoFredo: She 20 years younger than you? Kobi: Yes. So I can run around and do everything with her. GoFredo: That's eight, I'm tweaking. LayTheDon: I can do math. I know I know what he said. GoFredo: Hehehehehe No, I don't know why. It's Kobi: He had to think about it for a second. GoFredo: not the way you worded it. It's the threw me off. Talk about she Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: 20 years younger than me. She 20 years younger than you Kobi: No. No. GoFredo: and I'm like, that's eight, I'm tweaking. I'm tweaking, go ahead. Kobi: Yeah, she's about to be eight. So my main goal now and what I'm for my upcoming 30s is building for her so that she can be up and grow up to be better than me and do what she needs to be to be a better part of the world. So I'm trying to... made sure she's good, her, built her up. GoFredo: Hey, hold on real Kobi: Have I. What you said. GoFredo: quick, real quick bro, cause I wanted to ask a question. Cause since we on the topic of kids, I didn't mean to cut you off. just, it's just, just there's this on my mind when you say something and then we was like laughing Kobi: Wait. GoFredo: and joking, but like, you plan on having kids or do you have any ideas, any goals? Kevin: Dang it. You beat me to it. GoFredo: yeah. LayTheDon: So GoFredo: I know we talked about it, let the people don't know though. I know we and you LayTheDon: Do GoFredo: talked. Did you expect to have kids by now? Let me add that to the question. LayTheDon: yes and no. So I always said that I would like to have, I would prefer to have kids before the age of thirty. Cause obviously for a female, having cage anywhere, having kids past thirty, thirty-five, it starts getting a little risky. However, I'm almost thirty with no kids. So I'm it might be closer to thirty-five if it happens. but my biggest thing about having kids is I I don't want to be a statistic. I don't want to be anybody's baby mama. I want to be a wife first. If I'm not a GoFredo: Okay. LayTheDon: wife, I'm not pushing out nothing. I'm not about to be with somebody GoFredo: Hahahaha LayTheDon: to tell you right now, like I'm not I'm the type of person where why would you want to make me your baby mom and you wouldn't want to make me your wife? GoFredo: Okay, respect. LayTheDon: And I and my morals stick strong. I have nothing against anybody who has kids who are not married, but for me, morally, you're not about to call me your baby mama. I'm that's my wife. That's my child's mother. That's that's why even my parents, my my parents growing up, my parents don't say baby mom, baby father. My father says my child's mom, my mother says my child's father. We don't like that's just a I don't I just feel like baby mama and baby dad just has a really bad connotation behind it. Kobi: second that I'm sorry to cut you off but I really feel like calling saying the terms baby mother baby daddy baby mother LayTheDon: Baby Mom. Baby daddy. Kobi: that that that leaves a nasty taste in my mouth that's why when LayTheDon: Yeah. Kobi: I address the the mother of my child I'll call her the mother of my child I don't call her my my baby mama I don't that's that's the sign of disrespect and I don't want to disrespect her even though LayTheDon: Yeah. Kobi: We co-parenting, I don't disrespect her in the term of saying that, that's just my baby mama's yada, yada, yada. That's the mother of my child, cause they still respect them. But I'm sorry to cut you off, go ahead. LayTheDon: Yeah, you like one hundred percent. Like I said, I do I still want kids? Yes. but it wouldn't hurt me if I didn't. Like, yes, I would love to have a mini me. I would love to terrorize who you know who I marry with a second me. So freaking literally, whether it be a boy or a girl. But if I don't have kids, GoFredo: I'm to be rather. LayTheDon: like it wouldn't it it wouldn't bother me. Like I just finally got my first niece. And I I happy with that right now. My mom GoFredo: Congratulations. LayTheDon: has my mom adopted a kid who is two or three now. And my mom originally said she didn't want grandkids before she turned 50. My mom's only 46. So technically to her, I'm not supposed to have kids for another four years anyway. Which will put me GoFredo: So you guys can tag. LayTheDon: closer to 35. Will put me closer to 35. So like I said, do I want kids? Yes. If it happens, I won't be mad at it. But I'm not I I'm not pushing out no kid if there's no ring and no legal document in the saying that I'm married. GoFredo: Tom, our legal document. So you want the protection of the paper. LayTheDon: Yeah, because like put like this, if if I have a kid and say, especially my my my current boyfriend, he's talking about wanting to like move out of state, which I want a hundred percent for. Like I'm open to moving to a new state, starting a new life, building a new family, building a house, stuff like that. But say I decide to up and move with you out of state and for some godforsaken reason something doesn't work out. If I don't have a if we're not married, you're not obligated to make sure that I'm good. You can just leave me freaking stranded in whatever state we in. No, I need some type of legal obligation. Now I'm not saying I'm gonna take you for everything you got because I'm not that type person. Like I don't believe in any of that. I'm not a person that would, you know, easily put you on child support. Like if you take care of your kid, you take care your kid. But like you're not fan that I I need that that back sense of protection behind me. Like you're not about to leave me and my kid by on our own just because you decided it like. A woman can't walk away that easily from, you know, a relationship with a kid. A man can disappear out of nowhere and in and like that's what it is. We can't do that. So I need that extra sense of protection. no. GoFredo: Nah, I think it's, LayTheDon: That's why they say mama's baby mama's baby, daddy's maybe. Daddies can walk away whenever. Y'all can literally go get somebody pregnant and walk away, they never see a p we can't do that. I mean, I'd give them up for adoption, but like, no, that it's it's not it's not the same. It's not the same. GoFredo: That was from a toxic, that was from a toxic saying. That was a, that was from a toxic saying from a toxic also a generation. Also, I do believe I'm LayTheDon: Now GoFredo: also the type of person where I would say is that that saying to me speaks more value to the, to the person more than it is to speak more volume to the mother than it is the dad. Because to me, I'm also the type of person where I agree what you're saying. truly believe that I'm also old fashioned when it comes to that. Having a baby, especially now, now that I'm in my 30s, entering it, I would like to have a baby more now with somebody. I think we all would rather have a baby with somebody we gonna be with forever for sure. But now that I have LayTheDon: Right. GoFredo: it, I'm more inclined to now bank on the fact that having a baby with somebody I think that would be my wife more than just my girlfriend. Excuse me, anything of that nature. To what you said, I think it's a very interesting topic as well. I think that depending on the circumstances of the situation, that it's more likely, it's not more likely, but you do have cases where if it goes through a divorce proceeding, the mother is likely to get the child. But that's only because our court systems are set up in that fashion for mother to LayTheDon: Right. GoFredo: get. pretty much primary custody is in almost all 50 states and whatnot to have a setup like that. I'm not gonna speak for any other country, but I know for ours, the system is set up for the mother to win custody of the child almost pretty every, almost LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: all the time, unless it's overwhelming that the dad is a better primary caregiver, primary caretaker and whatnot. but that's the conversation that we honestly, That's something we might have to deep dive into next time because I know we all got opinions when it comes to that. And I think that'd be something good that people love to hear. But I don't want to get too far going Kevin: Thank GoFredo: into that one because we are messing around and talk about that. That's a whole another 40 to 50 to an hour. You hear me that conversation. So I don't want to LayTheDon: That's a whole nother ball game that we gotta we gotta that conversation gonna go. GoFredo: come on that. So I ain't going to deep dive too far into that. But I do agree with you when it comes to that standpoint of and I respect. I honestly respect your decision when it comes to that, especially being somebody in my 30s. look at that more as, I just think of it more as more wise for the woman, no matter what the situation is to be married. Not only just because of the quote unquote financial security that can come after that from the court proceeding, but just the fact that especially if you did, I guess, handled all your ducks in a row, vented this man, been through the whole process. and y'all get married, the likelihood of him staying, being faithful and everything like that increases more with that situation than you just being a one night stand, y'all dating and like you saying, y'all just staying together and y'all just have a baby. Because like you said, if push comes to shove, he can leave and then out of a sudden all it is is just child support, but now you chasing child support. And then our court system like to put people in jail. which now who wins in that situation because now you ain't getting no child support and now he in jail and now the kid can't see. It's like this weird whole dynamic when it comes to that. So I agree with you on that one. I actually appreciate that you have that level of wisdom, which I know you for a long time, so you always had it, but I appreciate you got that level of wisdom, especially entering to your thirties. I promise you, you're gonna hone that a little bit more and it's going to be very, very, you're going to be a problem. I tell you that right now, you're be a problem. I say that, you're LayTheDon: Hello. Kobi: Thank GoFredo: gonna be a problem. I mean, you already LayTheDon: Personally, I know. GoFredo: a headache, but you're gonna be a problem. All right, hey, but no, I'm K.F. So anyway, like, hey, LayTheDon: First of all, don't put put put some respect on put some respect on my name. I'm a migraine, thank you. I'm much bigger than that. I'm the whole migraine. What are you talking Kevin: Thank GoFredo: you go out there, listen, but no, I ain't gonna lie, know what you, no, it is good to think like that though, because you got your ducks checked in a row and to how you got going from there. What about you with, what about you and Kobe with like career wise and whatnot? Like what's y'all goals? Is y'all entering y'all thirties? know, mindset for y'all sales, things are, how things planning out for y'all so far as y'all now finna enter this new chapter of y'all life. So. LayTheDon: so my original I originally was in school for computer management and well, computer science management, I see whatever you want to call it, and business management. and I originally thought I'd be managing some huge company, you know, like a like a regional manager of some huge company, which don't get me wrong, that still eventually it will be back to my path. But currently I'm taking a break from it. GoFredo: huh. LayTheDon: I've been doing that. I've been doing that for probably about 15 years. Like I've been in a management position in every job I've had since I was 16, 15, 16. And I have the experience to where I can get any management job I want and excel in it beautifully. But since I've been in that career path for so long, late the the the most recent job I had, it it kind of took a good little toll on me. So I had to step GoFredo: kind of burnt you out. LayTheDon: back. I had to take a take a nice little step back and I started I'm I'm what you call a workaholic and me being single for so long and you know being a workaholic was was it it it keeps me busy, it keeps it kept the money flowing, like square like that. But as I'm entering my thirties and you know, I'm wanting to settle down and become a relationship, I realized like I gotta cut back on being a workaholic. Cause whenever your work starts taking over your relationship and you start spending less time at home and things start getting differently, I realize like as you start getting 30, you gotta start changing that. And I gotta start adjusting to to this mindset of being family oriented versus just, you know, being work oriented. Cause eventually I am gonna have a kid. Eventually I'm gonna GoFredo: Yeah. Yeah. LayTheDon: have to take that time off and spend, you know, at h be at home with the kid. And I gotta get used to being more home than working Kevin: Okay. LayTheDon: as much. GoFredo: But you also, but I remember you said before, you also dated someone older than you as well, right? LayTheDon: Right. I'm also thinking someone's older than me who also GoFredo: So you, okay. LayTheDon: have a time frame on having kids as well. his he he gonna reach that time frame of him to have kids before I do. So he better make some shake quick if he wants anything to happen. GoFredo: You LayTheDon: just saying. But Kobi: the LayTheDon: I mean, we we've talked about having kids, we've talked about, you know, building a family, we've talked about our career goals and we've set goals career wise together and like We've understand that dynamic that I am younger. So like some things I pursue a little bit differently than he does. But like we have that like I'm in my thirties where I'm ready to start actually building future goals to settle down and not just like I'm not out here no more. Like I I c I'm my recovery. GoFredo: go out partying and whatnot. LayTheDon: Yeah, my recovery time is like I said, three to five business days. I'm not spending money willingly. Like like I'm actually making smarter financial decisions and you know, actually taking the time to take trips and enjoy life. I'm not GoFredo: Yeah. LayTheDon: like a workaholic being a workaholic under 30 is cool and all, but once you start like you gotta start being able to enjoy life like 20s were so so fast paced. My thirties is starting to slow me down a little bit and I wanna actually enjoy that slowdown for a little bit. GoFredo: Hey, I can say, I'm gonna kick it to Kev so he can get Kobe some tutelage. What I can say for the in the 30s with no kids, I would definitely say before I kick it to them and let them take the floor, is definitely continue what you're doing, enjoy your life. In your situation, you dating someone older than you and having that level of maturity. and wisdom of age in front of you and whatnot. it kind of like, like you said, I want to say sped up your process because you was already mentally was moving this direction in the first. Yeah, yeah. It's like, yeah, basically is what it LayTheDon: a roadmap. Like he he's like a roadmap to like where I wanna be. GoFredo: is. Yeah. So like he giving you like, it's, it's, the, it's one of those things where like they say, like, I don't care what it is. Like anybody older than you can give you some advice just because they, they've been here long. They can give you some. some shortcuts to make life little more simple throughout the way you can go in. But the one thing I can definitely say is no matter what the situation is, enjoy life. You only get one go around in this for sure. Enjoy your freedom. I would definitely say that because my homies, once they go, they're to tell you about the freedom that you don't get once you do have kids. So definitely enjoy your freedom. Enjoy all that. I would say I'm a person that loves to travel. I say travel to your heart desire and kind of go from there. But keep doing what you're doing. You're moving in the right direction when it comes forward, whether you're head on straight. You got it. You got it. Just keep handling your ducks in a row. Get your oil change in now and then when you're supposed to. Keep that check engine light as low as possible. Kobi: Okay. GoFredo: And LayTheDon: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: that's basically what it is when you enter. Just doing what you're doing. Invest when you can. But mainly, I would say investing yourself no matter what the situation is. No matter what. That's my advice to you when it comes to that. But Kiv, when it comes to you, what last agent advice you got for Kobe? How many kids being in your 30s? I know Kobe's child is older than yours, but at the same time, you're at Kevin: Mm-hmm. GoFredo: a different standpoint in life. What advice could you give to him as he's maneuvering through life as a young man? What advice could you entering into a new level of manhood and entering his 30s? Kevin: Yeah, I think the most important thing for me, well, I'm gonna say this. was like, I was like, already like in my career, so to speak, like when when she was when she was when she was born. So GoFredo: Uh-huh. Kevin: I was like, I was already moving in that direction. I think the most important thing at the time was I got to do the right thing. But I also got to do what's going to make me the most happy out of this out of situation. So as far as the career, think where it took me was as far as business ownership, that was gonna make me the most happy. And it wasn't necessarily a money thing, it was a time thing. I think that the most important lesson you gotta take out of your 20s is the value of your time, where you're not gonna invest time into the wrong people, the wrong things. You just wanna be... proficient as possible with any amount of time you have. So as far as the business, was like, you know what? Now I'll say this, work, technically I work more than I did working for a company, but I'm flexible. I wanted to be at a point where I'm like, listen, I work a little bit more, but at the same time I can work out when I want. I can go, I can pick her up from school. I can take her to school. I don't have to miss any event if I don't want to. And that's what was important to me. GoFredo: Mmm. Kevin: I'm going say this. The money is a byproduct of LayTheDon: Yeah, the follow. Kevin: my GoFredo: Okay. Kevin: habits. That's it. You know what mean? If I give you anybody any advice, it would just be pursue your passion and your money is up here. That's it. GoFredo: Dang, that's a boy, listen. Hey, that's crazy, because that's the best way to do it, no matter what the situation is. Kobe, Kevin: That's it. GoFredo: you got any questions for Kev as you LayTheDon: Wow. GoFredo: enter into your 30s, going down your path and whatnot? What you got, brother? That's basically, it's deep in time, what you got? LayTheDon: We know you got some questions. You bought me thirty. GoFredo: I thought he left for a second. I thought he hung up. the no no no no Kev I appreciate the the the advice I can say with my current career path I'm currently in aviation with that I know that I would like to get into aircraft maintenance. I wanna start that up and get that, get going so that once I get enough experience, I can dip off on my own and do my start my own business and do private aircraft maintenance for private jets and things of that nature. But we we all gotta start somewhere. So I I'm I'm starting basic and that that that's okay. I'm I I'm taking what you and Fredo and even Lei as she's entering her 30s. I'm taking all that into account as I am the youngest and I'm I'm I'm mentally taking that with me as I begin to enter my thirties. And I appreciate the three of you for giving me the advice and saying all of the wise words that you guys have said this episode. have I do have a question for you. How is navigating with the mother of your child as you are navigating your early thirties? Kevin: is how it's navigating. So I guess, can you talk about from the co-parent perspective? GoFredo: Yes, sir. Kevin: All right, so I'm gonna say this, and we were touching on it a little bit, like I could say for myself, like I'm very much going through like that court process, which is annoying. mean, it's just, because there's times where it can feel like a never ending process. But what I'm gonna say is this. When you go into that process, you got to take out the emotions, take out the money and go, is this the best thing for my child? At the end of the day, that's what you got to do. Every decision that you make is this going to be, is this the best decision for my child? If you feel like, you know, you know, for whatever reason, she's she's better with you or better with mom. Y'all have to ultimately come to that decision. You know what I mean? If you're making decisions that aren't good for your child, that's a problem. So I'm just gonna say keep, and this is anybody else's situation, just keep your kid at the top of the mind and you'll be good from there. They gonna remember who, you know what I mean? They gonna remember the good things that you did for them. GoFredo: Correct, correct, correct, correct. Thank you for the advice. I appreciate Keep the main thing the main thing. it Kevin: Exactly. GoFredo: And and the famous words of Fredo, keep the main thing, the main thing. And also, The main thing, the main thing. Fredo, you also forgot your your main phrase. You only got one. You only got one. You Hey, you only got one, you only get one of these. only got one. You only get one of these, boy. Once that clock hits Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: zero, hey, don't nobody Kevin: Yeah. GoFredo: talk about the dust when the dust settles. Remember I said that. Kevin: You were unreal. You were unreal, LayTheDon: Yeah. Crazy. Well Kevin: He said, he said, at the end of the day, the day gotta end. Yeah. GoFredo: You LayTheDon: Wow. Well it's GoFredo: Hey, yo! LayTheDon: been great getting advice from our our good old unks. GoFredo: Hey. LayTheDon: and I will be happy to be entering my auntie era, you know, with all the knowledge that you guys have given me and all the wisdom that you have bestowed upon us, you know, our our younger gen our younger selves. So this has been for the exchange on turning 30. Because you know. The big three O coming on February 13th, you know. Look out for your girl. sign off. GoFredo: I'm a look up in here. Kevin: Yeah.