Latest / The Inner Wealth Podcast / Ep143. Becoming A Selfish Bitch with Bestselling Author Katie Coffman.

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Ep143. Becoming A Selfish Bitch with Bestselling Author Katie Coffman. · The Inner Wealth Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today I've got a powerhouse guest.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: In 2021, katie Kaufman, her husband and I started doing some work in their construction business and over the last three years, katie has undergone a drastic transformation.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: She is just not the same human being.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: So the Katie that I experienced in 2021 wasn't showing up for herself.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: She was showing up for everybody else, but it was at her own expense.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: And now she shows up for herself and in the process, she has even more to give people around her.
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: She's already an international bestselling author and she's getting ready to publish a new book called you, selfish Bitch.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: I'm excited for you to get to know Katie Kaufman and hear her story and get some value and see the benefits in adopting a form of healthy selfishness that'll not only help you increase your wealth, success, your happiness and your freedom, but it'll also help you to increase and impact the lives of other people.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life?
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Do you ever feel the need to escape your business?
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: Are you running your life or is your life running you?
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: I'm Mike Kitko and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are.
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: You'll get excited just to wake up.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: I'll help you create real wealth, success and freedom from the inside out.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: Guys, today I brought my friend Katie Kaufman on here and over the last few weeks I've had some really cool people show up and do this with me on Facebook Live and try to do this every week.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: Last week we were at our Miami retreat for the Interwealth Mastermind, so we weren't able to do this, but I've had Josh Wilson and I've had Adam McChesney and I've had Melanie Tucci, and today I get to introduce you to my friend, katie Kaufman.
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: Now Katie and I met me and her husband Ryan met a few years ago and we did some work together and now people are starting to join.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, as you join, throw your name and where you're from, where you're watching from, throw it in the comments.
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: Let us see who we're talking to.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: But I met Katie and her husband Ryan a few years ago and we started doing some work together and they have a construction business and it's an awesome business and they're great owners and they do a lot of awesome work.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: But when we met, I noticed something about Katie.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Katie was.
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: She was selfless.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Now, I'm not saying that she was selfless in a good, healthy way.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: What I'm saying is that Katie put everybody's needs and wants ahead of her own.
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: Everybody's needs and wants ahead of her own.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Katie showed up with everybody to serve them and to help them achieve what they wanted to achieve, but oftentimes it was at her own expense.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: And what I noticed is that she wanted to know what you wanted so she could build her life around it and she could rearrange her life to try to make yours better at her own expense.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: And some of the work that Katie and I did was you need to cut that shit out.
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: Like you're, you're, you're.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: Being selfish Isn't a bad thing, and I love, uh, I, I.
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: You know I guess I coined the term healthy selfishness and what it means.
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: It's not putting your needs above and beyond somebody else's needs and hurting them for your own benefit.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: It's making sure that you're operating from an overflowing cup so that you have more to give other people.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: What I noticed about Katie a couple of years ago is that she was depleted.
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: She was like physically and mentally like bankrupt, but she kept trying to give and she kept trying to serve from that place, from the place of depletion.
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: And, if you notice, when you get on a plane, they tell you to put your mask on first.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Well, katie was always too busy putting everybody else's mask on and that's why her life wasn't the quality of life that Katie was living.
• 4:26
  Speaker 1: That, I noticed, wasn't very vibrant, it wasn't very dynamic, but she continued to pour into other people.
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: Over the last few years, katie's made a huge, pivot, huge shift.
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: And not only are they still running a construction company, but now she's an international bestselling author and she's got a new upcoming book called you selfish bitch.
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: And I love, love, love, love the name of that book.
• 4:52
  Speaker 1: And when she first told me the name of the book that she was going to be going to be putting together or or producing, um, like it lit me up.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, we got some work to do.
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: Like, let's, let's get after it.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Because, like, my life changed when I started becoming a little bit of selfish and every wealthy, successful and happy person that I've ever met in my life has has acknowledged and has surrendered to the fact and hasn't allowed themselves to feel a little bit or a lot of it selfish.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: And from that place we can be generous with our abundance, with our wealth, with our health, with our vitality, with our energy.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Guys, this gal, katie Kaufman, has started to figure some things out and I wanted everybody to learn from her.
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: Katie, welcome to the live.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Yes, mike, thank you so much for having me.
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: I really appreciate the opportunity and I'm looking forward to sharing my story where I was, where I've come, and share a little bit about our group as well, and see what we can rock and roll with on this episode.
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: It'll be fun.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: That sounds wonderful.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: We've got some folks watching from Georgia.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: Tamara is from New Orleans, is watching from New Orleans.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: She's part of our family, Guys, for some reason some people I can only see Facebook user.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: That's your name, so tell me who you are.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Right, We've got Chesterfield.
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: Missouri is on the call from St Peter's, so we've got a lot of local people, but we're also tapping into our New Orleans family.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: Katie, go back a few years ago when we connected, right.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: We're sitting at your table working on your business, kind of reorganizing some things, kind of getting your mind right, getting your business plan, you know, I don't know doing some team building.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Talk about who Katie Kaufman was at that moment.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: So then I was.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: I think I didn't have even time to to answer that question.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: To be completely honest with you, Mike, I was always making decisions and taking action and filling my schedule to be so busy, but it was always decided by other people.
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: I was doing this for this person.
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Um, I was never the main priority of the own decision-making that I was filling my schedule with, on what I was doing and where I was at.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Obligations always were that of other people's.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: So I didn't necessarily I wasn't in a miserable place, Like, I wasn't horrible, but it wasn't for me, and so every single decision that I was making, I was.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: I was pushing myself to the brink every day to make sure I was pushing where I needed to for the construction company and being where I need to do for the kids, and there was nothing in my schedule just solely for me and I was just.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: Every single thing, every single day, was for somebody else.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: It was just I had to do what I had to do.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: That was the mentality that I, I, I lived with every single day.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: Um, I was the person everybody else could count on.
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: Sure, Um, but I never.
• 7:53
  Speaker 2: It was weird that the one person I kept leaving out was myself.
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: So you, you, you've got a husband.
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: How many kids do you have?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: Three?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: You, how many?
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: How many furry many kids do you have?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Three?
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: How many furry kids do you have?
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: Five, five, holy cow.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: So you've got one husband, thank God.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: You've got a couple kids.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: You've got a whole herd of animals, you've got a construction business and you showed up to make all of their lives better.
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: Is that true?
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, now, what benefit and I'm saying this, we're going to extract some good stuff what benefit, at that point, did you have in?
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: And this might not be this answer, might not be obvious, but what benefit did you derive from serving everybody else's needs above and beyond your own?
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: And there was a benefit, believe it or not.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: What was that benefit?
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: Making them happy.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: I showed up every day and my kids were taken care of, my husband was taken care of, the business was taken care of, so I would be able to what felt like Mark you know, check Mark off everything that I had to do that day, um, and which led to like a really overall sense of just making sure everybody around me was happy and that I felt accomplished in the tasks I was doing.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and and, and I think that's the.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: That's what I've learned the most of of watching your journey of, of moving into into being a more selfish person and me.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: It's like we form an identity almost around being a steward for everybody else, a sacrificial lamb, a martyr.
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: It's like a source of pride almost that we're willing to sacrifice and cause ourselves pain for the benefit of other people.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: And this is when we go back and when we really unpack this.
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: This is from shame.
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: This is an aspect of shame where we feel there's something wrong with us and our value is making other lives, other people's lives, better, and we derive some source of pride when we see everybody else getting better and, like we, almost sometimes, when we're in that state, katie, we celebrate the fact that we have nothing left to give because we've given it all.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: Can you see that?
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: Can you connect with that?
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: I can.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what shifted, what shifted.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: It was around 2021.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I started really.
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: We went to a.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it was the first time we went to just a seminar.
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: That was probably the first time in the entire 10 years give or take that Ryan and I had been together, that we went someplace with the sole intention on just pouring into ourselves.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: We've ever done anything like that, and one one seminar, one one event made you realize that I don't know it.
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: Just, it brings to light the emptiness that that chaos and that constant scheduling kind of keeps you hidden from confronting.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: I realized I wasn't necessarily unhappy, but I wasn't happy.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: There felt like there was something missing.
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: There felt like a control component that I didn't have control over anything, though I was controlling everything that was happening, like you say, all the time.
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: I mean, I was where, I was because of my own actions and I took full accountability for that.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: But then trying to unpack how you got there, and so when I started that it was kind of a chain reaction, we went to an event and then we started looking at other events to go to and we started meeting like-minded people for the first time in a very, very long time.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: You know, we surrounded ourselves.
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: We always call ourselves the black sheeps of the family, but in a good way, of course, and but it was just.
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: We were always around people that didn't get us or that were, I feel like, consistently keeping us on that cycle of guilt and shame and um, how dare you do this?
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: Or um, I remember complete strangers even, uh, that we were around guilting us for for working so hard because, um, we weren't around our families.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Like every single move we made, with every right intention, um had some sort of consequence and left us at night.
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: We, I remember never being able to lay my head on a pillow at night and be proud of both my personal life, my family life and my work life.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: None of like one of them was never sufficient for me that day, and that constant unbalance was a really crappy place to be.
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: Um, and when we went to one of the events, it just hit me that it was just a slap in the face that every single decision that I make, and it was just a slap in the face that every single decision that I make, not a single one of them had because I want to, because I like it, because I'm going to do whatever the hell I want to do.
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: None of that was ever the reason why Somebody else or something else was always the main reason for why I was doing what I was doing, and that was a really scary place to be.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: And then I I started this okay, well, why am I not doing things that I wanted to do?
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: And I made a list.
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: I went to go make a list.
• 13:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, okay, what does Katie want to do?
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: And Mike, I stared at that piece of paper for probably a good 30 minutes and I couldn't.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: I couldn't write anything down.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I remember crying because I was like how do I get to a place where I don't even know what I want to do with my own life?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: I had these generalizations, I had these ideas that sounded great, but I realized like there was a lot in that.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: You can't put something down on a piece of paper because I've literally had no time to think about what that would be.
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: And then the things that would come to light.
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: I thought about writing down, but then I didn't even believe in myself that I could actually attain that.
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: So why would I put it on a piece of paper?
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: So then you had to unpack the belief in yourself that you can and have the capability of going out and doing whatever it is that you want to do.
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: And that was a really low point where, again, I wasn't in an unhappy place, but it's just like whoa, like how long have I been living a life that is consistently serving everybody in my life, except for me?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I mean, a couple of things popped up is are you happier now?
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: Absolutely so.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: So happiness is relative, right?
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: So you didn't.
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: You said you weren't unhappy, but you weren't this happy, so in some sense you were less happy, right?
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: So we there's, there's like levels of happiness and now you're allowing yourself to experience more happiness and more joy, and that comes with becoming a selfish bitch.
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: But first we've got to break the you, the, the chokehold that you know.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: The world tells you that being selfish is bad, and the world tells you that wanting more for yourself in some cases is selfish.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: And you know, putting yourself first is selfish.
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: And and it it sounded like all of those stories and all those beliefs had you in a little bit of a headlock and a chokehold.
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: At some point, right, you started breaking through those and that's what allows you to get to this level, you know to to another level of happiness and joy.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: I want to share that.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: You are not the first person that I've ever heard say that you looked at a blank sheet of paper and couldn't allow yourself, you wouldn't give yourself permission to want.
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: I think there are people that I've worked with all along the last few years that they're trying so hard not to feel selfish they won't allow themselves to want.
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: They've turned off that want valve and in a lot of cases and I know I worked with one guy, it was probably over a year where I just I couldn't get him to want anything because he was too busy trying to get things for other people in his life and when we finally started cracking the code on what he wanted, he was trying to make sure what he wanted fit in with what everybody around him wanted for himself.
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: And this is some of the dilemma and the mental anguish that we put ourselves into when we turn that want valve off or when something's beaten into us at a young age that we're not allowed to want or we want too much, or that we're selfish if we want.
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: When did you start to allow yourself to want, katie?
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: I started allowing myself to want at a women's retreat that I went to.
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: Honestly, it was the first time that I got away.
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: I was able to be by myself, no obligations at home.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: I think was the main concern, because you you don't get to make decisions like that when you keep continuing your cycle and you don't break it.
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: And that was kind of a break for me at that time.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: And I was sitting there and when I made a list of things that I finally was like just wing it, katie, write down on this list.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: I was in the beautiful mountains in North Carolina.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: It was so peaceful and amazing.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: And one of the first things I wrote was I was like OK, I went back to my childhood dreams.
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: What did you want to do as a kid that you've just never done?
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: And one of the things was write a book.
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: And when I wrote that down, instantly, I'm like well, I don't have the time, there's no way, nobody's going to read it, I don't.
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I remember specifically making the comments myself that I don't have a story that anybody would be willing to listen to.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Wow, and when I was there, I was like you know what?
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: No, well, and that was right around the time.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: That was another event that I had looked into and I went to because I was really getting addicted, in the right way, to these events and pouring into myself.
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: For the first time in a long time.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: It's like I was like that attention was way overdue for myself and I was just completely on that train.
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: And when I went there and when I had been at those events, I remember making the connection on how I would love to do that.
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: Mike, I would love to be on stage and I would love to.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Everybody loves an underdog story, right, you know.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: And the people that were like here and they go from here to there I'm a total sucker for those.
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: I had started reading every day for the first time, probably in 10 years, and I was like here, here, here, I'm reading all these books.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: They're keeping me, they're impacting me every single day that I read these.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: They're keeping me on the straight and narrow and I'm like I could do that.
• 18:24
  Speaker 2: I was like so right then, and there I started outlining ideas for how to write a book, or what I would even write about, and I remember I'm like you know what Like I was like like this is a process, like this is a journey that I could potentially write about to other people, because you don't pop up one day out of bed saying you know what?
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be a selfish bitch today.
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: That's just not how it works.
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: And when I realized that that's who I wanted to be, I remember picturing Katie Kaufman, the selfish bitch, and who that, what person would have to be, and then backtracking from there on what steps I would have to take to make sure that that person came to light, that the world got to see that version of me that I didn't even.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: And so I'm like I immediately started.
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: I'm very organized person.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: I like my, my checklists.
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: If I could do like everything by that, I almost probably would, but I started writing down like well, in order to get there, I'd have to do this.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: Simple things like, um, stopping the excuses, believing in myself, um, figuring out what my priorities should be, because they were clearly out of whack.
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: That's why my schedule was out of whack.
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: So deciding all these things.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: I'm like you know what I am going to write about these changes as I implement them, because another thing that I realized is like I loved all those underdog stories, but I felt like at that time they were so far away.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: This is what I did 10 years ago.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: This is what I did even five years ago, and I remember I'm like I don't have five years to keep living like this.
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: I don't so, and which is really funny, because inevitably, my book ended up becoming my accountability partner.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: That's powerful, that's super powerful.
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: Talk about that.
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: What does that mean?
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: Your book was your accountability partner.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: I outlined the person I wanted to be and I was able to outline and already see for the first time how I was getting in my own way and how I would have to fix those.
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: But I know there's no way in hell that I'm the only person in this world with that same problem.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: And I'm like what if I could write, being an organization like nerd?
• 20:25
  Speaker 2: What if I could figure out how to wait, like make like a play by play and write it as I lived it and write it as I implemented these changes Because I wanted.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like how cool would it be to publish a book where I could be like I am one year away from you guys.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: This is what can happen within one, one year, if you set your mind to it.
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: Because, like I said, I didn't have five years to keep living the way I was and I felt like there was always kind of that little bit of a distance between me and the writer of the books I was reading and I was like what if I could bring that power to show people that you just got to kind of have a blueprint of where to go and in what direction to go to?
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: And that's inevitably what those events were were helping me with as well.
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: At that time we're helping me stay on the straight and narrow.
• 21:14
  Speaker 2: The readings, the events, the coaching, those are always there because we get off track way too often.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Shiny object, shiny object, obligation, so um no doubt.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: So listen in.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: In the comments, aaron Avala said you're awesome, katie, a couple of somebody, and again it just says Facebook user.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, this is such a good conversation.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I can relate so much.
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know that sounds like Kara Kara's on.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I know that, um, if, if, listen, if you, if you're, if this is connecting with you, put some comments in the conversation.
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: I want to start having some dialogue.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: If you have any questions for Katie, throw them in here.
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: Engage with us so we can have a dialogue and a conversation.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: So, katie, you went from and now you were doing more personal development stuff and professional development.
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: You're going to these events.
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: Did you start?
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: What were some of the first changes that you started making in your life when you started to this transition and this transformation?
• 22:22
  Speaker 2: So the first thing I knew I needed to get things started, and the reason why I say it that way is because you don't have to have everything in a perfect outline thing.
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: As much as I would have loved it If I didn't take even one step forward, even if it was nowhere near where I was going to need to be to actually fully publish a book, you got to start somewhere, yeah.
• 22:46
  Speaker 2: And so, and when I realized that in order to get started, there was like that's when those layers started peeling back of, like how much you have to peel back of what you've been conditioned and, um, what society has placed on on you and what your, your core beliefs have become in, in peeling back that onion on on what you want and everything.
• 23:08
  Speaker 2: So I knew the very first thing is I was like I was like I just have to get started.
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: And so when I realized that at that retreat I started writing my first chapter at that retreat that's wonderful.
• 23:17
  Speaker 2: I knew if I left that retreat without starting something, it was going to get put on the back burner like everything else does.
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: And that turned into well, I don't want that to go to waste.
• 23:29
  Speaker 2: And it almost sparked an excitement, mike, like I was so excited to have started something.
• 23:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, well, let's keep going.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: And then so it allowed me to start continuing.
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: Okay, well, what's the next step?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: You know I knew I had to be, I had to make decisions too, like that was the next step.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: And you know I I knew I had to be, I had to make decisions too, like that was the next step for me was okay, I started it.
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: So now I have to decide to keep it going.
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: Now it's up to me and it's my decisions that are going to keep it, either going and moving forward, or it's going to drop off and I'm going to go exactly back to where I was.
• 23:59
  Speaker 2: And I believe the decision of like knowing that that wasn't an option, it couldn't be an option, so that was where the first things was just honestly getting started, so it didn't get put on the back burner, and making the decision to stick with it.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: So let's talk about family.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: When you started not just writing your book, but when you started the process of becoming a selfish bitch, right, and I love that that you and I love that you said Katie Kaufman, you know it's like somebody's referring to you as Katie Kaufman, you know that selfish bitch, I love that right.
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: Become known for something and it's fun to be known as.
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: When you started the process of becoming the selfish bitch, katie.
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: They talk about family.
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: What were some of the family Because I think for me that was the scariest part of this whole thing is like, what's going to happen to my family If I start putting myself first, if I stopped, sir, if I stopped showing up like a martyr, if I stopped showing up like a sacrificial lamb, what is my family going to think of me?
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Like, talk about that dynamic and how that, how that evolved for you.
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: So that fear was very, very real for me.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: I was like, man, I have wrapped so much in everything that I do around them and serving them.
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: I was like I don't even know how to ask them or let them know.
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: I have to say that Ryan has been absolutely supportive, you know.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: To be completely honest, I'm very grateful for that.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: I didn't get any pushback.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: I didn't get any um, hostility, no anger.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: He and I have worked the past.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: You know, two years on, really being big on open communication.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, we live together and we work together.
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: It takes some special people to be able to do that, you know, and uh, right and um, but he, he's, he just he could see that that's what I wanted to do and he was fully supportive.
• 25:47
  Speaker 2: Now there had to be a little bit of like a a process to that.
• 25:51
  Speaker 2: You couldn't just be like, all right, I'm, I'm done with this today, uh, you've relied on me, this one.
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: So it was like trickling in little by little and, I think, keeping an open line of communication with him and my wants and desires and what I was really feeling, and then being fair to the situation that, like me, wanting to change and start implementing other things wasn't at any fault to him and so making sure that we trickled it in where it didn't completely stress him out but still allowed me to live out my dream.
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: And what's amazing about him too, is like he.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: He always says that he is so thankful that I get to do the opportunities or he gets to be a part of giving me and making my dreams a reality at this point, so he's been super supportive.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: And then my kids.
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: I mean, not really much has changed, honestly, on that, like I'm still there for them.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: They have a lot of activities, they have a lot of things.
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: But that initial fear was really big but I had a simple conversation.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: Fear was really big, but I had a simple conversation and I still, to this day, look back and I'm like I was so scared to just make that known and to set those boundaries and to make it very clear that my wants and needs were just as important as everybody else's.
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: And I'm sure it's not as easily received by every single person who will go through this or has gone through this, but I was very fortunate to have it received very well.
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Everybody in my family, very close to that family, was very supportive.
• 27:07
  Speaker 2: Now I will say, part of my book, and probably one of the biggest chapters in my book, was the people who had to be let go.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: That was a whole nother factor.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: So my immediate family, my husband and my kids, my grandma she's very close to me, she they were all on board.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: But anybody who was a hindrance to that or a roadblock didn't get it, attempted to guilt and shame me for it, or were just not meant to go where I was going.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: They had to go.
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: It was.
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: It was that black and white there You're here or you're in.
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: Ryan always says it's not a revolving door or it's not a one foot in, one foot out situation.
• 27:50
  Speaker 2: You're either a hundred percent with me or you're a hundred percent not, and that's the way I had to look at it.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: And that process of of pruning people out of your life was probably the most difficult yet most impactful for me.
• 28:02
  Speaker 2: A lot of close people, family included, a lot of family included are no longer around, and not necessarily because they were bad people, but they didn't align with that selfish bitch that I was becoming.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: So I want to.
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: I want to unpack this a little bit.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: I want to explain what, what, what Katie's talking about.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: And I've lost a lot of people in my life too, right, but I mean, I say I'm air quoting, I lost, I really didn't lose them, I actually gained other people.
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: So the point is, when we show up, whatever we believe is true becomes true for us and life wraps things, puts things in your life to reinforce what you believe is true and what's possible or impossible.
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: When we show up as martyrs and we sacrifice ourselves and we don't have boundaries and we feel selfish by asking for anything, life, god, universe, whatever you want to call it puts things in our life to reinforce those things, those beliefs.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: And when you, when you make a value shift, when you make a belief shift, those new boundaries, those new beliefs, those new values they're in, oftentimes they're in conflict with what you've already attracted into your life.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: So that's why you're going to get some external resistance.
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: Now, when you make that value shift and you allow yourself to lose everything that aligned with that old version of yourself, new things that align with the new beliefs, the new concepts, the new boundaries, they show up in your life as well.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: And they and they reinforce the fact that this new belief, this new concept, this new reality, these new boundaries that you're living at, that they're okay.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: And then, if you make and this is the process of evolution and growth and when you make another value shift and you up-level into the next belief, now the things that you attracted at that level are sometimes in conflict.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: And this is how we keep like leveling up our lives by by leveling up our values.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: And as we level up our values, the old version of us has to go.
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: So when, when we, when we tried and I saw this at our retreat where there was, there was a guy who, who was trying to hold on to who he was and he was trying to become somebody different at the same time, and he was scared to hold on to who he was and he was trying to become somebody different at the same time, and he was scared to let go of the old version of himself in order to level up, in order to upgrade the circumstances.
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: And literally, in our little retreat circle, we just in a small breakout group, we said pick one Old self, new self, which one do you want?
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: And the group was relentless Pick one.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: You're being noncommittal.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: You're trying to hold on to the old you and become the new you.
• 30:51
  Speaker 1: This is the same thing oftentimes with the people that are in our life.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we have to lose the old in order for new, higher level, upgraded people, circumstances and experience to come in.
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: This is what you're sharing and I applaud you for letting go of the people.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: I talk about expired relationships.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: People are in our life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: Not everyone's in our life for a lifetime and I applaud you for really leaning into that, katie.
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: Thank you, it was tough, it was very tough and uh, in that chapter in my book I know I I set that up I was like I don't even know where to start.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I was like so I'm going to have to come up with a process or a a way of handling each layer Because, like you said, you have some people, um, especially when you come with from a place with no boundaries, because every piece of me was available to anyone at any time, for whatever reason.
• 31:45
  Speaker 2: And when I had to do that, I was like there were people that were within my innermost boundary, that should have never even come across my outermost boundary, people that could stay in my life, but they were going to play a different role and they were going to need to insert themselves into a little bit different Um of um, I called them circles, um, as what I did in my book, and, um, they were going to have to be in my outer circle when they were really close.
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: So it was like, hey, I'm not, I value you, but I've unfortunately let you come too close and uh, with where I'm going at.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: Just know that I still care for you, but this is where I'm at.
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: There are some people that didn't get a single conversation.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: Now you'll find out very, very close how how many one-sided relationships there are in your life when you don't, you just don't even reach out to somebody and you never hear from them again.
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that happened quite a bit as well.
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: And then there were instances where you had to have a conversation because you were still respected them.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: Those were probably the most difficult for me, mike, was when I had somebody who was either a family member or who I respected and would try to make them understand that hey, like this is where I'm going.
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: You either did or did not do anything of fault, but I'm going to have to set these new boundaries because then that was a hundred percent reaction based and I had some people who reacted well, some people who completely flew off the wall and some people who completely shut me out.
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: And that sucks, especially for the people you put a lot of time, energy and effort into, because I I I played with that Like well, I did this for them and I spent a lot of time, energy and effort in this is you wanted it to make it be, you wanted it to be worth it.
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: But again that goes back to the hanging on to the old and knowing that new was better and I had to let that go.
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: But that was a big process for me and every single person was handled with a different level of care and every single person and outcome was different.
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: And that's that.
• 33:44
  Speaker 2: Pruning process took me quite a bit of time.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think I think to say it a different way and and to say the same thing and wrap some some language around it, we have an emotional capacity, we we have.
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: We have a certain amount of a certain emotional capacity and we like, if we let everybody in at the deepest level, then we're going to be depleted, right?
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: I mean, that's when life gets really, really heavy.
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying don't connect with people, I'm not saying don't love people, but we can't, like we can't, be emotionally entangled with everybody in our life and still live a high quality life.
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: And I know I'm guilty of that where in in, in in this business, when you were a student, when you were a client, it's like I was all in all the time and I would give all the 24 hours a day and there was no no in my vocabulary and it was like I was just trying to be all things to all people all the time, because I wanted to make them feel like deep, deeply like family, like they were the number one.
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: And you do that with everybody and your life's going to get really really heavy.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: And, respectfully, what you said is there are circles and you allow them into a certain circle and you treat them and you interact with them at that level.
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: So I don't have to be deeply relationally committed to every single person in my business, because all that does is lead to me having no life whatsoever of my own.
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: So forming those boundaries.
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: We get to do this with family as well.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: Like, aunt Jean might not get the same emotional connection with me as as Angie, right, and I don't have an aunt Jean, I just made that shit up.
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: But the point is we get to decide, and it's not selfish to choose to play at a more shallow level with somebody than other people in our lives.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: It's not selfish, and it's never selfish, to let people that have expired and serve.
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: This sounds awful, but if someone no longer serves a useful purpose in your life, it is okay to let them go, okay.
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: So, guys, this is some of the stuff that might not sound loving, but it is intensely loving to yourself to realize that the relationships worth holding on to is when they serve mutual usefulness.
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: And if usefulness in a relationship expires on one side or the other, it's expired, it's time to let it go.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 36:13
  Speaker 1: The person on the other side of that relationship might not agree, but that doesn't mean that you have to relent and you have to do something different.
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: If the usefulness of that relationship has expired, on your end, you can tap out from a place of love without tearing them down, without making them wrong, and just like letting them go and live the next phase of their life.
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: Katie, that was the most you said.
• 36:38
  Speaker 1: That was the largest chapter and the most powerful chapter in your book.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: Tell us about another lesson that you learned.
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: Honestly.
• 36:54
  Speaker 1: What's another valuable, teachable aspect of your journey that you learned along the way?
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: Another lesson like pruning people from your life?
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: What's another one that really accelerated your quality of life?
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: I jumped on affirmation statements.
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: I still say them daily.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: Affirmation statements are my statements that I can say multiple times a day, any situation that I I call it my Zen zone, Anytime that.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: I have something pulling me out of my center and where I am just calm and in my place that I need to be, I have my affirmation statements that I shared throughout the book and anywhere I've been able to use them.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: I usually say them when I wake up in the morning and before I go to bed at night, but then I found myself stating them in my head when I'm just in a stressful situation or something comes up.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: And it's been really cool to see the transformation of those affirmation statements, because they change over time and you can always tell what's really weighing on me at that time, depending on which one calms me down the most.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: And so, yeah, those affirmation statements I don't know if you want me to share them or you want me to let- people.
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: What I'm connecting with is you started changing the conversation that you are having in your head.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: You started changing the tone of what you would speak into yourself and speak about yourself.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: Yeah, go ahead and share a couple of those affirmations that have made the biggest difference.
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, they allowed me to be proactive instead of reactive to everything that was going on around me, and um so, uh, my first affirmation statement is, um, that I am.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: I'm bigger than my problems.
• 38:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, that one feels good.
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: I have an abundant and positive mindset.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: I am grateful things are not worse, wow, and I am open to life's future opportunities.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I love it.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: Those all sound wonderful.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: So those bring me back.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: I love it, those all sound wonderful, so those bring me back.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I love them.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: So, and that has changed what you experience in your mind by reinforcing that and just continuing to build those affirmation muscles, right?
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: So is that?
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: Do you find and I think you already answered that Do you find that those things are starting to show up?
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: Those affirmations are starting to show up like involuntary, without you even like needing to force them.
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: Does that make sense?
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, yes, absolutely, Because then you start shifting, like you said, your mindset to look at every single I would react to every single problem.
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: Now, I don't have problems.
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: Problems don't exist.
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: There's a reason for the way things happen, and it's a completely based on your perspective.
• 39:45
  Speaker 2: And so, if you, if something goes wrong, ok, what opportunity is this?
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a problem.
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm bigger than that problem, I'll figure it out.
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I have a problem.
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm bigger than that problem, I'll figure it out.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: Oh, this is a bad situation.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: I've gotten myself out of works.
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: So every little thing, or all those affirmation statements can help me, and you create your own with a lot of things that you're battling, but every single time I could come up with any problem, one of my affirmation statements were going to bring me back to a good mindset about it, and how you react to anything that happens to you is everything, and so you start getting into things and understanding that things are happening for you, not to you.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: This, this whole life, this, this game, this whole life game is all mindset, it's all.
• 40:25
  Speaker 1: It's all what's happening up here and and and the conversation that you're having with yourself and and what what you just said.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: I love what you just said, because this morning, on our mastermind call, I said the only problem that you've ever had is that you think you have a problem.
• 40:39
  Speaker 1: Like you don't have a problem, you have an opportunity and you have something a challenge, maybe a challenge or obstacle that's shown up to level you up.
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: And when you solve that challenge, that obstacle, then you grow and as you grow, your problems get bigger too.
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: But that's because you're capable of solving bigger problems, right, but the only problem you ever had in your life is you think you had a problem.
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: You didn't.
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: You had opportunities to grow, and I love that perspective.
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: I think sometimes people confuse challenges with crises, so where everything's a problem, because they make every challenge a crisis.
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: So now they've got a problem in their life.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: And what a problem means when somebody says they have a problem is that they think that that shouldn't exist, that challenge, their life should be challenge-free and obstacle-free.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: And when a challenge shows up, now suddenly they have a problem because it shouldn't be there.
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: Yes, it should, because it's an opportunity for you to grow, and that's why we're here.
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: We're here to grow and evolve.
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: Katie, what tell us?
• 41:43
  Speaker 1: Tell us the like.
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: It's been a three-year journey for you.
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: What are you working on right now?
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: What's the thing, the problem, what is the selfish, themed challenge that you're working through right now?
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: Because this work never ends.
• 42:05
  Speaker 1: Right for people to think, just because we're here on a Facebook Live or just because we're on YouTube, or just because we're influencers or just because we're authors or podcasters, that we live a challenge and obstacle-free life.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: But we're always working on something.
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: There's always something else that's trying to level us up.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: What are you working on right now?
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: Right now I'm working on building up the next level of confidence that I need to keep pushing my message out, to truly believe that it's more than just a book.
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: Now, initially I started out, when I first started writing that chapter, I didn't even know publishing a book was going to be a possibility for me.
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: I just kept with it and now that my book is publishing, I'm like I have a message and I can be confident that I want to get on stages, I want to empower other specifically women, but people in general that we need to get out of our own damn way.
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that that's just what it is.
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: Um, unfortunately, more specific to anybody, gender neutral, uh, who's a caretaker, who is always, always, always put other people before themselves, because, honestly, I lived how much of my life without even realizing I was doing it, and so bringing that to the forefront is a big slap in the face.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: But then also having an actual program or somebody to help you follow an agenda, to help you get there Because, again, we all need accountability partners, whether it be a book, whether it be another person, and I came from a place where I didn't have a single person who was going to be an accountability partner outside of my husband, but him and I we always say it's us against the world, and we truly felt that until we started finding groups such as Inner Wealth.
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: It doesn't have to be you against the world, but there's a lot of people who are in this world that truly believe that.
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: So I'm working on a podcast, a title do you selfish bitch?
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: That would be specifically geared towards women.
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: Um, getting them out of their own way and and and filling their schedule with mostly them.
• 44:04
  Speaker 2: That's how it should be.
• 44:05
  Speaker 2: Um, and then, um, I want to uh get on stages.
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: I want to uh look into, uh expanding my horizon on specific topics on how to organize that, and then, long-term, is really organizing the whole book into a program that I can start helping coach people through.
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: I love that and I do believe that there are a lot of people and I'll say women, but there are a lot of people in this.
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: I'll say women, but there are a lot of people in this world that will benefit from becoming more selfish, realizing that and it's almost like society has almost deemed wanting something.
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: We started this conversation with this and we'll bring it to a conclusion with this as we wind down here.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: But it's almost like society has demonized and vilified wanting or having a lot of anything and typically, if you look at it, poor people look at rich people as greedy and and the rich people that I know want all the poor people to be rich.
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: But the rich people aren't looking down on the poor like, but the poor are looking down on the rich for having a lot of stuff and there's some jealousy and some, you know, against being greedy.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: Meanwhile, the wealthy and successful and happy people I know do everything they can to lift other people up and they want everybody to have as much as they do.
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: But it takes a little bit of selfishness to get there and in a lot of cases, people that struggle financially are so hell bent on not feeling selfish that they don't allow themselves to have an abundance of anything.
• 45:51
  Speaker 1: And what I've experienced with you, katie, is when you made that shift.
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: Now abundance is starting to come in, but it starts with abundance of self-love and self-appreciation and self-respect and self-worth, and that's where those affirmations came from and you started to value yourself so much that you allowed yourself to disallow people that wanted you to harm yourself for their benefit.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: You disallowed them into your life and that's another level of selfish, but it's not selfish, it's a boundary and it's healthy.
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: It's selfish in a healthy way.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: So I've seen a tremendous shift in you.
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: I remember during one of our one-on-one calls when I said, katie, I see this as a podcast, I see this as a program, I see you on stages, I see, and you like lit up and your face and there's that smile right, you lit up because you can see that's where your true like impact is going be in this world is speaking to people, helping them to make the same shift and make that same pivot that you did.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: Katie, talk about your book.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: When's it come out and where can people access?
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: it.
• 47:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so it comes out on May 8th.
• 47:09
  Speaker 2: Amazon it's going to be coming out at a discounted rate on May 8th, so, if you guys are able to, it's all over my social medias, but yeah, that's where we're going to start there and then, once that launches on May 8th, we'll be releasing when and where to get it for, if you want.
• 47:27
  Speaker 2: If you're more of a physical copy person I am personally I like to have the book in my hand, but on what other options?
• 47:33
  Speaker 2: And then looking to do something local if you're in the St Louis area as far as a book launch and a book signing, but that's all to be determined after the May 8th.
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: That's fantastic.
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: So May 8th your book launches, and what we'll do, what I'm going to do, is I'm going to make this into a video on my YouTube channel.
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: I'm going to make it into a video on my YouTube channel, I'm going to make it into an audio podcast episode and the links for the book will be in both of those platforms.
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: So we'll put do you have the?
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: We'll get this thing.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: We'll get it on launch day on my YouTube or my Facebook page.
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: On launch day on my Facebook page, we'll announce it as well, because we want to bring as many people into your world as possible, because this is a message.
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: Your story is a powerful story and there's a lot of people out there that are living really depleted lives because they're trying not to appear or be or feel selfish.
• 48:34
  Speaker 1: But we've got to turn that.
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: We've got to tune that selfish muscle to allow yourself to put yourself first, to have what you want.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: So you have more to give from Katie.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: Is there anything that we didn't touch on today that you want to?
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: touch on and talk about, not particularly.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: I think we hit everything.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty excited and I did appreciate the opportunity here.
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: Um, inner wealth has been a big push.
• 49:01
  Speaker 2: It's been very ironic, um, and it's really cool how things come full circle, how we were, where we were and you've been able to see us kind of come back full circle.
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: Um, one of your events and, yeah, like neither one of us were the same person when I, when I, walked in that room to see what you've created and the culture that you've created with inner wealth, and for anybody listening and able to check out Mike Hicko, he's truly built an entire program that the number one word that comes to mind for me is value, and the reason why I say value doesn't sound like that, but I'm talking multi-level value.
• 49:42
  Speaker 2: I've been a part of coaching groups and I've been a part of going to events and I've been a part of meeting people that are there for a little bit.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: But this group has a culture that is untouched, the value that it brings, with the numerous calls every single week.
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: I've been a part of programs where I was lucky to get a conversation with a coach every other week or maybe monthly, or they would hold quarterly events.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: You have the opportunity to touch what you have four or five calls every single week.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: We have five different calls, three of them weekly and two others that are every other week.
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: So that is tremendous value.
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: Then the value of volume there you have the safe space that you've created.
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: I've never walked into a group and felt immediately open, and you talk about wanting it to feel like a family environment, and that's exactly exactly what you've created.
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: And then you know, I never feel any guilt or shame or no competition in this group.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: It's all truly about people raising other people up, and that's so attractive and so calming.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: And then the the last thing for me was just understanding that life happens.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: I've been a part of groups that were very strict.
• 50:55
  Speaker 2: You don't show up, you're out.
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: Um, they don't have.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: They act like you have no other obligation in your life other than to be in that group.
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: But what's really cool about inner wealth is, I remember, missing.
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: Every time I miss a call, I beat myself up a little bit, um, and it's because, not because you guys have done that to to me no-transcript.
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: Just, we're just trying to level up so we can create more impact in the world, but that brings back.
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: You know, we're trying to create more impact because there's people like you that are also looking to impact.
• 51:50
  Speaker 1: And as we level up, so do you, and as you level up, so do we, and that's how we, that's how we continue to grow.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: So, guys, listen, go follow Katie Kaufman across your socials.
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: Their construction company is Top Dog Construction.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: So where she's, the, the president, ceo, coo, cfo, all of it and she's the number one dog.
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: Her husband does some stuff in the, in the business too, but you know, and he's a Ryan Brian Kaufman.
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: I'll tell you what.
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: Here's my experience of Ryan.
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: Ryan looks really, really tough on the outside, but that dude has a heart of absolute gold and he doesn't let it show a lot.
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: But I know who that guy is and he's a big ass heart and that's why he's so kind and loving to you and that's why he's so kind and loving to you and that's why he was so accepting.
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: But, guys, listen, go follow the Kaufmans, go connect with them.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: May 8th the book pops out.
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: You selfish bitch, go get a copy.
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: Help drive sales of that book, and I know you're going to be a bestseller for the second time.
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: Guys, go connect with them, your life will be better.
• 52:54
  Speaker 1: And, katie, if there's anything we can do in the meantime to help, go connect with them, your life will be better.
• 52:58
  Speaker 1: And, katie, if there's anything we can do in the meantime to help, please let us know.
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: All right, it's been fun having you here.
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to wwwinnerwealthglobalcom for more tools and resources.