Latest / WTF! Women Talk Finance / EP 28: It's Not About the Money. It's About Trust.

Transcript

EP 28: It's Not About the Money. It's About Trust. · WTF! Women Talk Finance

0:00
SPEAKER_02: I'm Jackie.
0:01
SPEAKER_02: I'm Candid.
0:03
SPEAKER_02: And this is WTF.
0:05
SPEAKER_01: Grab your coffee, wine, water bottle, emotional support snack.
0:09
SPEAKER_01: No judgment.
0:10
SPEAKER_02: And let's get into it.
0:12
SPEAKER_02: Hi, welcome back to Women Talk Finance.
0:15
SPEAKER_02: WTF.
0:16
SPEAKER_02: WTF.
0:18
SPEAKER_02: We are so bad at our intro.
0:19
SPEAKER_02: I'm not used to true.
0:21
SPEAKER_02: I am so bad at our intro.
0:22
SPEAKER_02: I never do it because I'm like, no, you do it.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: When you do it, you do it better than I do.
0:27
SPEAKER_02: Um, you're here with us.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: Great.
0:29
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for joining.
0:30
SPEAKER_02: Thanks for joining.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: Download the episode, share it with a couple friends, start the conversations that you've been meaning to have.
0:39
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, to be fair, I think of this less as a podcast and more about WTF, Women Talk Finance.
0:46
SPEAKER_01: It's just you and I having financial conversations.
0:48
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
0:49
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they're broad.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
0:51
SPEAKER_01: Sometimes they're a really broad, loose tangent to finance.
0:55
SPEAKER_01: And it just happens to be recorded so that hopefully other people feel like they are in a safe space.
1:02
SPEAKER_01: We are not experts.
1:03
SPEAKER_01: We don't profess to be experts.
1:05
SPEAKER_01: And we have expertise in a very, very, very niche sector of finance.
1:09
SPEAKER_01: And we're on this journey and exploration together to demystify other areas of finance and also personal growth and wealth and this journey.
1:20
SPEAKER_01: And so that's what this is.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: If our if one show, one episode, caused someone to be like, oh, I'm gonna talk to so and so about that.
1:30
SPEAKER_02: And then so and so talk to like two people about it.
1:33
SPEAKER_02: Like we're doing the thing.
1:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's what we wanted.
1:36
SPEAKER_02: Having women feel more comfortable having these conversations with people.
1:39
SPEAKER_01: I think, well, I know that's not what we're talking about today, but let's talk about even why we started the show.
1:44
SPEAKER_01: Do you end the backstory?
1:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
1:46
SPEAKER_01: What brought us together?
1:47
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah.
1:48
SPEAKER_02: We're sitting in a room, we're colleagues.
1:51
SPEAKER_02: We're we're what do you call us at that point?
1:52
SPEAKER_02: Before we're friends, before we're colleagues, what are we?
1:55
SPEAKER_02: We worked for the same company.
1:57
SPEAKER_01: We're co-employees.
1:59
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we didn't even work together at that point.
2:02
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, you're just you're right.
2:03
SPEAKER_01: Like our work world was running parallel.
2:07
SPEAKER_01: And so we were in the same rooms, but weren't working together.
2:10
SPEAKER_02: Good point.
2:11
SPEAKER_02: You're right.
2:12
SPEAKER_02: And we we bonded over like Oreos and snacks.
2:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
2:18
SPEAKER_02: And also there were points in those meetings where we were like, do you know what that word means?
2:25
SPEAKER_01: There were a lot of times we were the only women in the room.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
2:28
SPEAKER_01: And the rooms were not necessarily we were bringing the expertise from where we were coming from, but the room was not centered around expert our expertise.
2:37
SPEAKER_01: And we were kind of being spoken down to or spoken around.
2:40
SPEAKER_01: And so we bonded over being able to be like, oof, I they're using acronyms I'm not even familiar with.
2:47
SPEAKER_01: Not because I'm not good at my job, but that never touches what I do.
2:51
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
2:52
SPEAKER_01: And so being in a space and a safe space to be able to cheer each other on and support each other when we had to ask the question because we were being spoken around or over in the room.
3:04
SPEAKER_02: And I think we realized like, I don't know anything about that.
3:06
SPEAKER_02: I don't know anything about that.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: And we're still being invited back into this room.
3:10
SPEAKER_02: But and I'm still an expert in what I bring to the table.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:13
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't make either of us any less than in what we do know.
3:16
SPEAKER_02: And we don't know these certain things, and that's okay.
3:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:20
SPEAKER_02: So we started normalizing it for each other, being like, okay, I don't know about this, but I still get to be here.
3:26
SPEAKER_01: And I think we saw a comfort in some of our male counterparts that they were able to say and ask the questions that sometimes we were afraid to ask be out of fear of looking like we didn't know or we weren't supposed to be in the room.
3:39
SPEAKER_01: And so just normalizing and creating this space where we we can have a seat at the table.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
3:44
SPEAKER_01: And open it up between us.
3:46
SPEAKER_01: And then we became friends.
3:48
SPEAKER_01: We became friends.
3:49
SPEAKER_01: I think it was like a pack of sour gummies on an airplane.
3:54
SPEAKER_01: And then we both realized, I realized you were a weirdo, and you realized I'm a weirdo.
4:00
SPEAKER_01: I was like, I like it.
4:01
SPEAKER_01: Uh yeah.
4:04
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so we're talking today about financial deal breakers.
4:09
SPEAKER_02: And I learned this from Candace actually.
4:11
SPEAKER_02: There's we don't like the word should.
4:14
SPEAKER_02: I learned that from you.
4:15
SPEAKER_02: You don't like should on people.
4:17
SPEAKER_02: I love that rule.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: I love that rule.
4:20
SPEAKER_02: I try not to, and then I do you very rarely do.
4:23
SPEAKER_02: You're very good at it.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: I try not to should on people.
4:25
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
4:26
SPEAKER_02: Who am I to tell anybody what they should or shouldn't do?
4:28
SPEAKER_02: But we can recast it.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: Like, here's what you could do, here's what you could think about.
4:33
SPEAKER_02: So financial deal breakers, the money red flags that could end a relationship.
4:42
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
4:44
SPEAKER_02: Uh, there are deal breakers everyone talks about.
4:46
SPEAKER_02: And I guess that we're talking primarily about financial or excuse me, intimate relationships, but there's a lot of different types of relationships: friendships, family relationships, intimate relationships, business relationships.
4:57
SPEAKER_02: So maybe for this conversation, we focus on like uh partnership.
5:01
SPEAKER_02: Partnership.
5:02
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, whether that's intimate or business.
5:04
SPEAKER_02: And we know that there are your go-to red flags or deal breakers, lying, cheating, incompatibility.
5:11
SPEAKER_02: Um, but nobody talks about financial red flags that destroy more relationships than infidelity.
5:17
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
5:17
SPEAKER_02: So we're gonna talk about money behaviors that could make you run or just maybe alert you to some increased risk.
5:28
SPEAKER_01: What do we want to call it?
5:30
SPEAKER_01: I think increased unhappiness in your partnership because I think a lot of times there's times where I've seen people not run, but it's just this constant sore spot.
5:40
SPEAKER_01: This it's just a not a non-stop nag in the relationship, and that would be really difficult to be.
5:46
SPEAKER_01: We can call it less than thriving.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
5:48
SPEAKER_01: You're surviving, maybe, yeah, but not thriving.
5:51
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
5:52
SPEAKER_01: Um, I think there's some obvious I think so.
5:56
SPEAKER_01: Let's back up a bit because for a long time there was this culture of like getting married quickly.
6:05
SPEAKER_01: Getting into this intimate relationship with someone, especially for women, then being dependent essentially on someone without having a lot of shared experiences with each other, without sharing expenses, without having a home together, without really having maybe seeing a big um financial setback.
6:27
SPEAKER_01: What happens?
6:28
SPEAKER_01: How do you how do you guys handle it when one of you loses an income?
6:31
SPEAKER_01: What's what happens, you know?
6:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, how do you make a major purchase together?
6:38
SPEAKER_02: What are the major financial decision, whether it's a purchase or otherwise?
6:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:43
SPEAKER_01: And I think we've started to shift.
6:45
SPEAKER_01: I think this generation, I think our generation and younger generations are waiting longer.
6:50
SPEAKER_01: They're having more shared experiences with the other.
6:52
SPEAKER_02: We don't use the word spinster anymore, which is no spinsters.
6:56
SPEAKER_01: We call them wise ladies.
6:59
SPEAKER_01: They got out.
7:02
SPEAKER_01: The age of 36 and they're not married.
7:04
SPEAKER_01: They made it some.
7:06
SPEAKER_01: I think we're starting to see that transition, which I think is adding to the ability to assess whether somebody's finances align with yours.
7:16
SPEAKER_01: I don't know that it ever means sharing finances.
7:20
SPEAKER_01: Some couples do, some couples don't.
7:23
SPEAKER_01: But if you're going to partner with somebody romantic or business, having shared financial philosophies is probably a good start.
7:32
SPEAKER_02: You've used the word alignment and a shared philosophy.
7:35
SPEAKER_02: Is it the same to call it shared values or is it a little different?
7:41
SPEAKER_01: Is it a little more a part of it?
7:44
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
7:45
SPEAKER_01: But I think it could go deeper than that because somebody may value um quality.
7:54
SPEAKER_01: Um, and somebody may value, you know, something different.
8:00
SPEAKER_01: Maybe they value being more thrifty.
8:04
SPEAKER_01: Um, but it doesn't mean they're not necessarily aligned because at the end of the day, maybe they are both aligned and making really careful, thoughtful decisions.
8:15
SPEAKER_02: So, what would alignment look like for you in business?
8:19
SPEAKER_01: Let's do that.
8:20
SPEAKER_01: Having like shared goals.
8:21
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
8:22
SPEAKER_01: Like setting goals, financial goals, being on the same page when we're making the financial decisions for the business, the organization, knowing that everything is driving towards that goal.
8:35
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
8:36
SPEAKER_01: Whether it be how much we're going to have in revenue, um, what we'd like to see as far as some really good markings for success.
8:45
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
8:45
SPEAKER_01: Um, how we want to grow?
8:49
SPEAKER_01: Do we want to take on outside debt?
8:51
SPEAKER_01: Do we want to do some private financing?
8:52
SPEAKER_01: What do we want to do to like get this?
8:55
SPEAKER_01: What are we both comfortable with?
8:56
SPEAKER_01: Are we comfortable putting our personal assets on the line?
8:59
SPEAKER_01: Are we not?
9:01
SPEAKER_01: So I think there is a difference there.
9:03
SPEAKER_01: And I think it can be the same for intimate relationships too.
9:07
SPEAKER_01: What is the goal?
9:08
SPEAKER_01: Is the goal to purchase a house by X year?
9:12
SPEAKER_01: Then what you're doing should go towards that goal.
9:15
SPEAKER_01: Every month, your financial conversation, whether you share finances or not, should be around that goal.
9:20
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
9:20
SPEAKER_01: Right?
9:21
SPEAKER_02: And you just say a conversation, whether you're having them weekly or monthly, some sort of conversations being had.
9:27
SPEAKER_02: I think for me that would be a big red flag, like lack of communication, or almost to the point where it felt like something was being hidden or worse than hidden, like lied about.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: So like transparency, communication, right?
9:41
SPEAKER_02: Whatever you want to call that.
9:42
SPEAKER_02: Something where you got a willing participant in like talking it through good or bad.
9:48
SPEAKER_01: For me, that's exactly it too.
9:50
SPEAKER_01: Conversation is a give and take where both partners, business or intimate, are active, engaged.
9:58
SPEAKER_01: It's not a talking down to or blame game.
10:04
SPEAKER_01: I've totally made mistakes and played aspirational, though.
10:07
SPEAKER_02: Like I do like that's what you aim for.
10:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:10
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:10
SPEAKER_01: We're not always perfect all the time.
10:11
SPEAKER_01: We're not perfect all the time, but we're clear on what we aim for.
10:14
SPEAKER_01: But I I think if it's consistently that one partner is shaming the other partner for specific habits or not doing something the way they would do it.
10:25
SPEAKER_01: I think that's a that's an issue for both partners.
10:27
SPEAKER_01: Shaming from show hard stops.
10:29
SPEAKER_01: Shaming is unacceptable, but then also it highlights a misalignment.
10:33
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
10:34
SPEAKER_01: Um, and so that would be a big issue.
10:36
SPEAKER_01: And so I think that's a really big component in any sort of partnership is recognizing how and how often you communicate.
10:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:46
SPEAKER_02: Um yeah, and again, the communication doesn't have to be perfect, but a willingness and an effort toward it, toward making it better.
10:55
SPEAKER_01: We've and it can be formal, it can be informal, but the financial conversations have to be uh con kind of ongoing and open.
11:05
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
11:06
SPEAKER_01: And there needs to be an ability and a willingness to participate in those.
11:09
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I agree.
11:11
SPEAKER_02: I think a shared ethos in like going back to the shame, you don't have to do everything perfect, and mistakes can be made, but how do we deal with mistakes?
11:20
SPEAKER_02: A shared understanding, both in intimate relationships or partnerships in the romantic side and business.
11:27
SPEAKER_02: Mistakes are gonna happen totally no matter what.
11:30
SPEAKER_02: Um, how do we deal with them?
11:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
11:33
SPEAKER_02: And this an attitude of like, we can we can fix anything, we seem to know about it.
11:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:38
SPEAKER_01: Um, and we've seen huge, not even just for us, like in clients, we've seen massive financial mistakes.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
11:46
SPEAKER_01: Huge financial mistakes.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
11:48
SPEAKER_01: And I've made them.
11:49
SPEAKER_01: And I've I've made huge financial mistakes.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
11:52
SPEAKER_01: I think this idea of giving somebody the grace, and again, not perfect at it, giving your partner the grace that you would hope somebody gives to you when you make a mistake, and recognizing that you're probably they're probably beating themselves up.
12:10
SPEAKER_01: I try to do that.
12:11
SPEAKER_01: I shout out to my spouse.
12:14
SPEAKER_01: I've made some mistakes, and he is always so thoughtful and kind and approaches it in a way that, like, are you okay first?
12:24
SPEAKER_01: I have not always I've been the red flag partner on the other side, not always meeting him with that same grace.
12:32
SPEAKER_01: So I'm trying to model him more in that space of like are you okay?
12:38
SPEAKER_01: Like that's a big bummer.
12:40
SPEAKER_01: Um so and leaving space to grow.
12:45
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
12:46
SPEAKER_02: So there's the well, yeah.
12:49
SPEAKER_02: So secret, especially when it's around debt or a mistake, I think is a big red flag.
12:54
SPEAKER_02: And then the scorekeeping partner, like I did this.
12:58
SPEAKER_02: Well, let's go back to secret debt.
13:00
SPEAKER_01: Okay, but if you feel like you had to keep it a secret from your partner, that's also not ideal.
13:06
SPEAKER_01: Not ideal.
13:07
SPEAKER_01: So it's not ideal that somebody was secretly in debt, but also not ideal that they felt that they couldn't share a situation.
13:17
SPEAKER_02: Maybe because they're afraid, it doesn't feel safe.
13:20
SPEAKER_02: They're afraid of the shaming or the guilt or whatever.
13:22
SPEAKER_01: And I know people who keep secret like uh secret um accounts or secret expenses.
13:30
SPEAKER_01: They're like, I don't want my spouse to find find out.
13:33
SPEAKER_01: And that's their business.
13:35
SPEAKER_01: Like I'm I'm very much in the camp of like keeping things separate.
13:40
SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but we are very open about conversations about big expenses or things like nothing is a secret, it's separate.
13:48
SPEAKER_01: Separate doesn't mean secret necessarily.
13:51
SPEAKER_02: I have a question.
13:52
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
13:53
SPEAKER_02: Do you think that there's an amount that matters?
13:57
SPEAKER_02: And I'll say more on that.
13:58
SPEAKER_02: Keeping like a secret credit card with 30 grand on it versus I'm on a diet and I swim through a gas station and I grab a pack and I don't want anyone known.
14:11
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
14:13
SPEAKER_02: Does it matter does the amount matter?
14:16
SPEAKER_02: Does the amount of the secret matter, or is it just the fact that it's a secret?
14:20
SPEAKER_01: Um so for me, because we have aligned goals in what we want to build.
14:30
SPEAKER_01: I do feel like the bigger, like if there were a pretty sizable secret account, that would be a bummer.
14:36
SPEAKER_01: It's like, wow, I thought we were both working towards this goal.
14:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:43
SPEAKER_01: Um so I would I would struggle with that.
14:46
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:47
SPEAKER_01: I don't know that I'd care so much on the like small stuff.
14:51
SPEAKER_01: I'd feel bad again, going back to like, oh, you didn't think you could you felt you had to hide from me that you wanted a milkshake.
14:58
SPEAKER_01: Like that's what am I that's not a red flag.
15:01
SPEAKER_01: A milk what kind of diet?
15:04
SPEAKER_01: What kind of red flag am I putting out there that you can't be like, it's been a day.
15:09
SPEAKER_01: I needed Milky Way.
15:11
SPEAKER_01: That's more of a red flag on me, right?
15:14
SPEAKER_01: Like that that they don't know, how do you feel?
15:17
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
15:19
SPEAKER_02: Yes, yes, that's more of a red flag on you.
15:22
SPEAKER_01: Give me the space.
15:27
SPEAKER_01: I found a partner who's buying me the milky.
15:30
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
15:31
SPEAKER_01: He's a pusher.
15:32
SPEAKER_01: He'll like go to he'll go get like the the Costco size of it, like a 30-day supply.
15:39
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, dude, it was one day.
15:44
SPEAKER_02: Now I'm feeling obligated to get through this.
15:46
SPEAKER_02: I do.
15:47
SPEAKER_02: For me, it's a principal thing.
15:48
SPEAKER_02: I have a dear friend who had a business partner.
15:50
SPEAKER_02: They've resolved it now, but it turned out when the books were looked at that the business partner was doing really small transactions, but over the course of 20 years, they were a secret and they were very much added up.
16:04
SPEAKER_02: And the the consequences to both of them, it really, it really derailed and was hard for both parties.
16:11
SPEAKER_01: I I know somebody who went through a pretty messy divorce, and it at the end they had a the part one of the partners had a pretty significant shopping addiction.
16:24
SPEAKER_01: And it turned out to be a very, very sizable number that came out in the wash.
16:33
SPEAKER_01: But I mean, I'm sure at the time it felt like little bits and pieces here and there.
16:38
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:39
SPEAKER_01: But there's a reckoning.
16:41
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:42
SPEAKER_01: But at the same time, to that all comes to me, to communication.
16:47
SPEAKER_01: Yes, same.
16:48
SPEAKER_01: And like not hiding your shopping from your partner.
16:52
SPEAKER_01: If you're if you're feeling like you need to hide your shopping from your partner, that's more than a financial issue.
16:56
SPEAKER_01: That's a communication issue.
16:57
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: Right.
16:58
SPEAKER_02: And yes, and the emotional whatever attends.
17:02
SPEAKER_02: Like, like, is it safe?
17:03
SPEAKER_02: Are you met with support and like I understand, let's figure this out?
17:07
SPEAKER_02: Or are you met with shame and guilt and you're a bad person?
17:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
17:11
SPEAKER_01: So sorry, we're gonna go to the score.
17:13
SPEAKER_01: Scorekeeping.
17:15
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:16
SPEAKER_01: I really this is one of those things that kind of I think people think comes with keeping separate.
17:25
SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
17:27
SPEAKER_01: And there's different ways you can approach having separate accounts and contributing to the finances.
17:34
SPEAKER_01: I don't think it's always 50-50.
17:37
SPEAKER_01: It could be proportionate to who's who has more and what that percentage equals for them.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
17:47
SPEAKER_01: Especially we know that women are still making far less than men.
17:52
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
17:53
SPEAKER_01: And so expecting a partner to be contributing more 50-50 to the mortgage.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: Well, and that's a 50-50 financial monetary contribution.
18:04
SPEAKER_02: Really?
18:05
SPEAKER_02: Contribution.
18:06
SPEAKER_01: Think about some difference.
18:08
SPEAKER_01: So if one of the partners is doing substantially more invisible labor, that invisible labor should count too.
18:15
SPEAKER_01: So the score keeping I struggle with, it's not something I've ever dealt with myself.
18:22
SPEAKER_01: But I think that would be a difficult thing.
18:24
SPEAKER_01: And yeah, how do you keep score if somebody is doing the invisible labor?
18:29
SPEAKER_02: I don't like score keeping.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: I don't flat out doing it.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: This and this would remind me like pretend you're in business with somebody and you come in and you're excited about something and you're met with an energy of, well, that's great.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: I did this.
18:44
SPEAKER_02: You know, it feels like a one-upping or a one-downing, or um it feels like a lot of extra energy that isn't productive or helpful.
18:53
SPEAKER_02: And I'm reminded of like this relationship.
18:56
SPEAKER_02: It is a it's a marriage that I am like, that is the bar.
19:01
SPEAKER_02: That is the top top.
19:03
SPEAKER_02: There's this woman that would come into the gym I worked at with her nephew to get personal training.
19:08
SPEAKER_02: She didn't want it, she didn't need it.
19:09
SPEAKER_02: She was able to support him, her nephew.
19:11
SPEAKER_02: He wanted personal training.
19:12
SPEAKER_02: And she she didn't want to be at the gym, but she was just supporting.
19:16
SPEAKER_02: And she would come in and she would talk and talk about her husband and how much she liked him.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: And I was like, what the hell?
19:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, is this the second marriage?
19:24
SPEAKER_02: Like, how do you how do you how are you so in awe of your husband?
19:29
SPEAKER_02: Like, what is this?
19:31
SPEAKER_02: I'm so bitter and jaded.
19:33
SPEAKER_02: Like, please tell me.
19:34
SPEAKER_02: No, and she goes, you know what?
19:36
SPEAKER_02: We just she goes, yeah, he's awesome.
19:37
SPEAKER_02: She goes, we're just constantly competing to lift each other up.
19:40
unknown: Yeah.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: She goes at night, if I go to lay his stuff out for back, he's already laid my stuff out.
19:46
SPEAKER_02: She goes, it's it's hilarious.
19:47
SPEAKER_02: We're ridiculous to each other.
19:48
SPEAKER_02: We're just constantly trying to lift each other up.
19:51
SPEAKER_02: And I love that.
19:52
SPEAKER_02: And so score keeping to me is the antithesis of that.
19:55
SPEAKER_02: You're not working to lift someone else up, you're just keeping track.
19:58
SPEAKER_01: I love that.
20:00
SPEAKER_01: But I think it's like turning score keeping, score keep yourself on how often you are lifted to yourself.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:08
SPEAKER_01: Period.
20:09
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
20:10
SPEAKER_01: Um Mine will beat me to the coffee to make me coffee.
20:14
SPEAKER_01: He doesn't drink coffee, but he'll like literally like run out to like start my coffee in the morning.
20:20
SPEAKER_01: Like it's not hard.
20:23
SPEAKER_01: But he wants to do it so bad every day.
20:25
SPEAKER_01: It's like his thing.
20:26
SPEAKER_01: And I think that's so cute.
20:28
SPEAKER_01: And now I'm going, I need to score keep myself and think, how do I not put score on him, but put score on myself and the expectation on myself?
20:38
SPEAKER_01: Like, what do I beat him to the punch for to like help give me a day?
20:42
SPEAKER_01: That's it.
20:43
SPEAKER_02: And I'm gonna start scorekeeping myself.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: How can I do better today?
20:46
SPEAKER_02: I do better.
20:46
SPEAKER_02: How can I lift somebody else up?
20:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:48
SPEAKER_02: How can I give a win for somebody else?
20:50
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
20:51
SPEAKER_02: Score keep yourself.
20:52
SPEAKER_01: Score keep yourself.
20:54
SPEAKER_01: This is golf.
20:55
SPEAKER_01: Everybody is managing their own scorecard.
20:58
SPEAKER_01: Different story.
21:02
SPEAKER_01: Um someone with no financial ambition.
21:05
SPEAKER_01: I struggle with this one.
21:06
SPEAKER_01: I think to me, I would go with more like not no financial ambition.
21:11
SPEAKER_01: I would say differing financial ambition.
21:14
SPEAKER_01: Say more.
21:15
SPEAKER_01: What do you mean?
21:16
SPEAKER_01: No financial ambition isn't always a red flag to me.
21:21
SPEAKER_01: I think there are truly these people who just live life every day, their needs are met, and they're super happy.
21:30
SPEAKER_01: And who am I to judge that?
21:33
SPEAKER_01: Do would you call it no ambition?
21:36
SPEAKER_01: No, because I think there's people who just truly like just live a beautiful life.
21:42
SPEAKER_01: Money isn't a driver for them, it's a tool.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
21:47
SPEAKER_01: And they get there.
21:48
SPEAKER_01: I would say differing financial ambition.
21:51
SPEAKER_01: That person probably shouldn't be with somebody who is hyper focused on being a, you know.
22:00
SPEAKER_01: know, super ambitious, super ambitious entrepreneur.
22:03
SPEAKER_01: I think it's just differing.
22:04
SPEAKER_01: I'm not here to judge and say either one is right or wrong.
22:09
SPEAKER_01: But I think if your ambition, if your financial ambitions don't align, there's lots of people who do not want to own a home.
22:16
SPEAKER_01: They do not and I can appreciate that.
22:18
SPEAKER_01: And I've heard their logic for it.
22:20
SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, they don't want to deal with the the putting new gutters on and and all the things that, you know, a a water leak.
22:30
SPEAKER_01: They want to call their landlord.
22:32
SPEAKER_01: They want to be able to lock the door and boogie out of town and not have to worry.
22:37
SPEAKER_01: They want to be able to move quickly if they need to without really like if they get a cool opportunity somewhere else.
22:43
SPEAKER_01: They want to be able to pick up and go and not have to deal with selling a home.
22:48
SPEAKER_01: I don't think that's a that's not a bad thing.
22:52
SPEAKER_01: That's like for me, that's great.
22:54
SPEAKER_01: I love that they are secure in that choice and they probably shouldn't be with somebody who wants the security of a stable home right like they like that's a great perspective.
23:09
SPEAKER_02: I would never have seen it that way.
23:10
SPEAKER_02: And I appreciate that.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
23:12
SPEAKER_02: How do you see it?
23:13
SPEAKER_00: Oh I wasn't gonna answer as a no you can have a board investors advisors and still have nobody you can actually talk to about what is really going on that is not unusual.
23:28
SPEAKER_00: That is the founder reality.
23:29
SPEAKER_00: And we step in right there.
23:31
SPEAKER_00: I'm Tom Powell and at the founder's office we're proud to sponsor women talk finance.
23:37
SPEAKER_01: Hard pass look at you sitting in your sweatpants playing video games all day.
23:41
SPEAKER_01: That I do struggle with I think that would be just like no ambition and I'm I'm glad you clarified it.
23:48
SPEAKER_01: No financial ambition is different to me than no ambition.
23:51
SPEAKER_01: I think there are a lot of people who do wonderful beautiful things with their life that are not financially motivated.
23:58
SPEAKER_02: Yeah I cannot fault them for that yeah so I would re-characterize this I don't care about no financial ambition but I care about no ambition and no ambition to me is a flag.
24:07
SPEAKER_02: Yeah I don't care what your passions are but have them yeah care about something.
24:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah care about something care about something and then put energy into it you are a human with agency fully connected show up yep show up I would have a hard time being with somebody with no ambition that would say like that would be a no really difficult that would be difficult because because it's differing I have passions.
24:28
SPEAKER_01: Yeah again I don't care what your passions are but do something um yeah okay the next one is the controller somebody who wants to control all the five finances and the other person has no visibility this is like a safety issue for me that is a preference like as though this is a legal issue from yeah this is terrifying and I think women in general have been taught like this is scary.
24:58
SPEAKER_01: Our generation was taught this is scary.
25:00
SPEAKER_02: I think women before dealt with this a hundred percent and I think it also there's just like with the last one there's room to distinguish here right someone that says I'll handle the money and I want your input it's more of a like this is what I can bring I'm super organized.
25:18
SPEAKER_02: I am like I'm just praying for numbers I want your input I want like we need to talk about it.
25:24
SPEAKER_02: I want to make sure you're clear on everything like I'm down for that but we're talking about control control very different with no visibility.
25:33
SPEAKER_01: Control is different than responsibility so we have different responsibilities.
25:37
SPEAKER_01: Yeah I don't deal with a couple of the things that like we both have converse we have conversations about our finances we have shared things we have separate things and then like household things that I am a part of but I'm like please don't make me be the one driving what I hate prepping the taxes it's such a tedious boy I do help.
26:03
SPEAKER_01: Like it is a teamwork like we do have to team effort that and we work together on it but boy that's um yeah not your favor there's like a handful of expenses that like he's responsible for that is what he does.
26:17
SPEAKER_01: You you deal with this I don't want to be involved in this part.
26:23
SPEAKER_01: Picking our health insurance I don't like doing that.
26:26
SPEAKER_01: Yeah I don't understand it it's very frustrating every year when it's open enrollment and I'm like I don't know what did I do last year gold sounds nice look at the gold plan.
26:42
SPEAKER_02: So like that's really like where he steps in but I'm involved like we talk about it he looks at how much we spent versus you know what we're what our coverage is and so this is yeah this would be in a relationship but definitely a red flag I think you're right back in the day it would have been more common right now it's just not in a business this is that hard absolute legal issue absolutely no safety issue huge risk and I'm right away I'm suspicious.
27:12
SPEAKER_01: I suspicious too like why you want to do this boo boo you're trying to like well we've seen we have clients right now going through things I was thinking of an old business partner.
27:23
SPEAKER_02: Oh well yes we have but we do we have clients right now going through unwinding of major financial things that weren't when when that when it was held on so tightly and none of the other partners were enlightened to what was going on and we're seeing that play out and that's just and some people the honest truth is some people do have ill intent and they want to take advantage other people don't have ill intent but they're they're trying to protect something it's it's like a compulsion or they're trying to like secure their job and there's just not the type of visibility with with money you need a little bit of oversight you need four eyes four hands at a minimum but who's not gonna cut it no human error happens yeah it just happens too easily um different money value so we we talked about this one I think understanding how your partner spends and I I caveat this I see um I see sometimes an attack on women's spending without the recognition that so much of the spending is on the household.
28:37
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
28:38
SPEAKER_01: And so if the spouse is not willing to recognize that the the female spouse is doing all of this invisible labor and shopping like their credit card bill for the month had the toilet paper and the kids' school supplies and oh my gosh we were out of this and oh no the there was a bug infestation I had to put that on.
29:00
SPEAKER_01: Yeah and you're sitting there going women be shopping and it's like she didn't buy a damn thing for herself.
29:08
SPEAKER_01: She made your life very very easy.
29:11
SPEAKER_01: Yeah you didn't think about the toilet paper you didn't even see the school list you didn't notice that the bug guy came because you weren't even a part of it it was noticed it was addressed it was dealt with and done problem solved problem solved and all you want to do is bash them and blame them for their ridiculous spending yep for their spending problem their spending problem and it was groceries which groceries alone are outrageous right now trying to get yes gas in the cars and all of the things like you don't get to say your partner is now if they're going out and buying a lot of ridiculous things that's a different conversation you guys can have that conversation but I do think it needs to be looked at with a lens of was it really ridiculous spending or was it really fitting needs for the overall benefit of the household.
30:06
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
30:06
SPEAKER_02: And I think this is in business too kind of same similar answer.
30:10
SPEAKER_02: I think if there's different money values in business it's a flag it may not be a hard red stop but it's worthy of a conversation a lot of that stuff you can build in if you're aware of it.
30:22
SPEAKER_02: Have the conversation and be honest about it.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: And it's like I want to build this business by spending it takes money to build it takes capital and you want to be more conservative and you're like no I don't want to outlay all that that's coming out of my pocket.
30:34
SPEAKER_02: Like let's have a conversation and then address it with like okay we're gonna disagree.
30:38
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
30:39
SPEAKER_02: When we go forward and build this business we know we're gonna disagree.
30:42
SPEAKER_02: How do we plan to handle those disagreements?
30:45
SPEAKER_02: If you can put a mechanism in place and both come to like a shared understanding like we know how we're gonna handle this.
30:50
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna run into hiccups that I think is green to yellow flag.
30:55
SPEAKER_02: Yeah it's about the communication around it.
30:58
SPEAKER_01: One of my first businesses was a coffee shop and uh I had purchased in as a partner on that one.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: Okay.
31:05
SPEAKER_01: And so I had a a a business partner and we we did we had to have a lot of conversations because a lot of the spending we didn't align on.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: Yep.
31:15
SPEAKER_02: Um the coffee beans I wanted to have a bigger margin on some of the coffee we were selling um and so we had to really like there was a push pull in figuring out you know and like did we need the more expensive items were there areas that we could cut some costs and um and so there there was a push pull eventually we I ended up um uh somebody I'm close to purchased her out that we were more aligned on the spending um and then and then we eventually were able to sell the business um but it was that was really interesting going through the exercise of and I was the second one in I was I was late to the party yeah you know and so having to have those conversations I was also much younger so a little more difficult to stand your ground it was such a valuable growth opportunity for me to like go through and figure out how do we meet in the middle on this how do we build a business that works for both of us yep and if you didn't have someone that was willing to communicate it would have been significantly harder if you had a partner who was just like I'm gonna spend like you just came in sit down little girl yeah sit down little girl I've been running this business I I'm gonna keep spending how I've been spending you chose to come in that's a that's that would have been a red flag yeah yeah um okay the last one this is a really big interesting one that I think has a big cloud over it the prenup refusal if you loved me you wouldn't need a prenup I want to hear from you as a lawyer on can I get lawyer Jackie put the hat on you can you can she can be a nasty I love lawyer Jackie just the lawyer on this a marriage is a contract like anything else and if you go into a contract without anything written down you are setting yourself up for risks problems issues challenges hurdles you name it so from a legal perspective a prenup just makes good sense it's just the contract you're already entering into but getting it in writing and being clear and being intentional about being clear like what do we mean by this and um I've heard people say like getting a prenup you're going into a marriage assuming it's gonna end and I don't think that's totally fair.
33:57
SPEAKER_02: Maybe some people are but on the whole life happens you so many things can happen.
34:04
SPEAKER_02: What if you get married to the love of your life and things go swimmingly for 40 years and you've got kids together you've built all these assets all these resources and your significant other has a traumatic illness and they're not they're not deceased they're still living but that that person like changes it's a different person that that you marry so many things in life happen right there's just one bad hypothetical and you're like I can no longer stay in this relationship for my own mental health my own emotional health my own whatever I I want to still be friends with that person.
34:37
SPEAKER_02: Like went on the pile troll conscious uncoupling right like this relationship does not serve either of us right now we need to go our separate ways how how do you go separate ways nicely kindly in a friendly way that you can preserve something without a prenup.
34:56
SPEAKER_02: Because the alternative is you get divorced it turns into a nasty legal battle attorneys fees can eat everything up it just gets so much bad blood um in an already really difficult and challenging situation.
35:09
SPEAKER_02: So I'm off my soapbox now but to me they make good legal sense.
35:13
SPEAKER_01: I agree I think it's crazy because I feel like we hear hear prenups in multiple different ways and none of it's painted well.
35:21
SPEAKER_01: When somebody goes into a marriage with a prenup people have thoughts they have critiques oh you know they just are planning for the end and then when we see big divorces we've seen a couple in the last few years a couple billion big billionaires who've built their businesses divorced their spouse who was with them from the beginning.
35:45
SPEAKER_01: Yep and there's been a lot of judgment about the the spouse about no prenup because when they got married there didn't have anything there um and the spouse getting this yeah or whatever whatever percentage they end up getting I have thoughts about that as you know I'm going that business probably wouldn't exist without all of the work that the spouse did behind the scenes behind the scenes making that business.
36:14
SPEAKER_01: We know those spouses carry a huge load and also carry all the load of the home they do a lot of work for the business especially in those early days and you know good good good for them um but we see it on the opposite where they're like and they didn't have a prenup and it's like you can't win our yeah you know on either side of the prenup battle I struggle with this idea of people like day of wedding refusing to sign a prenup it feels like that should have been a conversation well in advance.
36:53
SPEAKER_02: Right to me it's a it's an again it goes back to marriage is a contract it's maturity it's adults it's like you are vowing to somebody which is the same thing as making a promise it's mutual promises bargain for exchange.
37:08
SPEAKER_02: It's a contract yeah and maybe that's two legalese but it reflects an immaturity to I think show up to a wedding and be like I'm not gonna sign that just feel like this should have been fleshed out.
37:21
SPEAKER_02: You're getting married boo boo what do you think you're doing?
37:24
SPEAKER_01: Yeah a contract.
37:25
SPEAKER_01: If you're able to get to like making a decision on the catering and the flowers and all that you probably should have been able to get to the point of making the decision on the contract and how you want to see this go.
37:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
37:36
SPEAKER_02: And so I would just encourage people to allow that to be at least one lens is that you're entering into a contract whether you want to admit that or not the mature adult thing is to say yes I understand I'm entering into a contract but do you care to put the terms in writing?
37:49
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
37:50
SPEAKER_01: I think you know to close this out money is often listed as the number one predictor of divorce I don't think it's actually money.
38:01
SPEAKER_01: I think money is uh the symptom not the cause or the indicator of the underlying values.
38:08
SPEAKER_01: Right yeah that's trust issues it's communication issues it's control issues control issues it's the score keeping I'm totally taking that one thank you I'm gonna score keep muscle me yeah now I need to think what I'm gonna beat my husband to do like what am I gonna do for him in the morning.
38:26
SPEAKER_02: Do you set anything out for him at bedtime?
38:28
SPEAKER_02: I do okay he likes to the morning yeah I set out his blanket like like it's it's not five um we have this like quilt he likes to sleep with an extra like a heavier quilt and I don't I we don't have it on our bed it's like in a basket so I do lay it out okay okay what's his breakfast what's he like in the morning you do coffee he doesn't do coffee he doesn't do coffee he like I think he just eats whatever our children don't eat off their plates that's a damn thing that sounds like a damn thing um okay we'll take this offline and we'll break I need to brainstorm I do this blank the night the quilt thing the like it's like a weighted blanket thing yeah um I do that so I can you imagine the new nighttime routine you're like I'm gonna need about 45 minutes and you're like come with me sit down you're heading into a guided meditation I need to massage your temples for an hour you've got like two numbers for the eyes I would love that this man is like I I I'm just I just I can I have half hour on my phone I just want to do like no no let me love you let me take care of your needs okay so some takeaways if you are in an intimate relationship schedule a money talk this week maybe sit down talk to the numbers um have a a level set um talk about goals same thing if you're in a business and you've got a partner and you feel things aren't maybe totally aligned just have that conversation and have an honest conversation work to get aligned to the extent you can and if you can't find total alignment maybe talk about solutions to like resolve disputes or how do you yeah how do you reconcile where do you compromise and I think recognizing where things feel uncomfortable versus where things feel easy is a really great way to like start to identify where you need to put some more energy um and so if hobby spending is one of those areas that both feel insecure about then then that's something that needs to be talked through not not necessarily you don't want to come out of shame or guilt, right?
40:36
SPEAKER_01: Right.
40:36
SPEAKER_01: Um yeah and even if it is separate but there's judgment so if it's like you know you each have your own accounts and you're spending out of your accounts but there's judgment about oh we can't go to Europe this year because you're spending all your money on this what do you do right so how do you but opening up that conversation without it being a judgment right yeah what if there is judgment there probably is how do you navigate it or how would you encourage people in the audience to get now you're getting into therapy and I am not a licensed family therapist.
41:16
SPEAKER_01: Let's play one on TV uh again I think recognizing how you would want to be spoken to right I wouldn't want my spouse to come at me and my hobbies with judgment and try to shame me.
41:39
SPEAKER_01: So I think recognizing that they also probably don't deserve shame and and if it's if it's their money but it's coming back to the okay so are we both aligned in that Europe was a really important trip for us this year.
41:53
SPEAKER_01: Which means each of us need to be contributing this much towards our trip account.
41:59
SPEAKER_01: Yep.
42:00
SPEAKER_02: I like that I think that removes a lot of the judgment is starting with where are we aligned?
42:04
SPEAKER_01: Find common ground and then you're both agreeing on something it's like okay cool then how do we back into this yeah how do we back into this are we both able to make a contribution of X a month with the shared Europe account.
42:17
SPEAKER_01: How do we make this happen?
42:18
SPEAKER_01: Yeah um and we do a lot of we have our own separate but we have shared goal accounts that's how we manage most of our things like I'm not saying that's what works for everybody it's just what works for us and it's like if we want to go on this this is the this is the fun account this is the account to make sure we spend it on fun things um then that's that works for some people or it's okay you better have five grand ready by June.
42:49
SPEAKER_02: Whatever works for you if the point is you've been intentional you've talked about it there's no surprises yeah yeah um so yeah if there is a big surprise call the cups citizens arrest your spouse or your lawyer partner if you find out your spouse has a bunch of hidden debt you call call the jail see if you can book a cell start hawking their stuff put it on the lawn best price I do a lot of demerits I write tickets get a full ticket I write IOUs to me just gonna you owe me you owe me not to be a scorekeeper but I think just gonna okay um thank you this is a great episode actually please download like and subscribe and share it share it with those um in your network your peers your family your friends these are all things we're all in relationships of some sort whether they're intimate whether they're business whether they're familial and money comes into All relationships.
44:00
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
44:01
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
44:02
SPEAKER_01: And we're all learning and growing.
44:04
SPEAKER_01: We aren't perfect.
44:05
SPEAKER_01: We're just on journeys as human beings trying to figure it out.
44:07
SPEAKER_01: So give yourself grace.
44:09
SPEAKER_01: Give your partner grace.
44:10
SPEAKER_01: That we're all trying to figure out how to be the best person.
44:13
SPEAKER_01: And send us your juicy stories because you know we love that.
44:16
SPEAKER_01: Send us your juicy stories.
44:17
SPEAKER_01: Tell us about the big red flags you've seen.
44:20
SPEAKER_01: Did anybody have a whole secret life and a bank account?
44:27
SPEAKER_01: That's a red flag.
44:28
SPEAKER_01: I am a sheriff.
44:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
44:29
SPEAKER_02: This is when I was a baby bankruptcy attorney.
44:32
SPEAKER_02: Ooh.
44:32
SPEAKER_02: I was young.
44:34
SPEAKER_02: Like I was mid-20s.
44:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you were.
44:36
SPEAKER_02: And I did work as debtor's counsel.
44:40
SPEAKER_02: And so there was a gentleman that was referred to me that needed to file a bankruptcy.
44:46
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that's all well and good.
44:48
SPEAKER_02: I met with him.
44:49
SPEAKER_02: We did all of his paperwork, disclosed everything, so I thought.
44:54
SPEAKER_02: And then we go to this meeting in front of his trustee.
44:59
SPEAKER_02: And that's when you basically say under oath that you've disclosed everything.
45:06
SPEAKER_02: We're sitting in that room.
45:08
SPEAKER_02: I know the trustee, the suits walk in.
45:14
SPEAKER_02: Like for like it looked like CIA, FBI.
45:18
SPEAKER_02: Like the sharks walk in and they sit right in the front.
45:22
SPEAKER_02: And the trustee starts asking my client about his paperwork.
45:26
SPEAKER_02: You know, did you disclose all of your assets?
45:28
SPEAKER_02: Did you disclose all of your liabilities?
45:29
SPEAKER_02: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
45:31
SPEAKER_02: And then I don't know how it came out.
45:34
SPEAKER_02: I think it was a question about dependence.
45:36
SPEAKER_02: Like how many dependents you have, you know?
45:39
SPEAKER_02: And um, then so after the trustee goes, the creditors get to ask questions.
45:43
SPEAKER_02: And one of the guys in his suits comes up, sits down, and says, Did you disclose your other family?
45:53
SPEAKER_02: In Florida.
45:56
SPEAKER_02: My client had a whole second family, like a whole second house about all these things, all these things.
46:04
SPEAKER_02: And it, I like, I still get goosebumps in the moment.
46:08
SPEAKER_01: Amount of times I've heard of people having like truly not like just on TV.
46:12
SPEAKER_01: Like I've heard of people having second families.
46:14
SPEAKER_01: It's insane to me.
46:16
SPEAKER_01: My mind is still blown.
46:17
SPEAKER_01: I've I've not recovered from that.
46:18
SPEAKER_01: So it's hard to have one family.
46:20
SPEAKER_02: Well, this man had five names and he reordered them on his marriage certificate.
46:27
SPEAKER_02: He put them in a different order on his marriage certificate.
46:30
SPEAKER_02: So he had two marriages.
46:32
SPEAKER_02: And it matters because in a bankruptcy.
46:34
SPEAKER_02: This man's filing for bankruptcy.
46:36
SPEAKER_02: That's too many families.
46:37
SPEAKER_02: Well, you have to like disclose all of your assets.
46:39
SPEAKER_02: So he had joint assets in Florida that hadn't been disclosed.
46:43
SPEAKER_02: It when I tell you it turned into a mess, and I'm still like, it's still with me.
46:50
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
46:51
SPEAKER_01: I would say in that situation, skip all the other steps straight to divorce.
46:57
SPEAKER_01: This is what we need an episode on like when you're the red flag.
47:03
SPEAKER_01: Yes.
47:04
SPEAKER_01: That's a straight to divorce situation.
47:06
SPEAKER_01: Like, I there's no what?
47:08
SPEAKER_01: No.
47:09
SPEAKER_01: I'm sure it was a straight to divorce for at least one of the women.
47:13
SPEAKER_01: For at least one.
47:14
SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
47:16
SPEAKER_01: Me too.
47:17
SPEAKER_01: Maybe both.
47:18
SPEAKER_01: Although there's like families who like know they're the second family.
47:21
SPEAKER_01: That's so weird to me.
47:22
SPEAKER_01: All of it's weird.
47:23
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
47:23
SPEAKER_02: For me, it's just so crazy.
47:27
SPEAKER_01: Thanks for that.
47:28
SPEAKER_02: I judge a whole lot, but I kind of judge that.
47:30
SPEAKER_01: Like, I know where it gives me space.
47:33
SPEAKER_01: I'm confused on the logistics of it.
47:36
SPEAKER_01: I'm confused on the financial concept.
47:38
SPEAKER_01: That is expensive to have two families.
47:41
SPEAKER_02: Dolly Parton had such a great quote.
47:44
SPEAKER_02: Some man stood up in and said something on the lines of, Miss Dolly, do you believe in living together before you're married?
47:53
SPEAKER_02: And she said, Sir, I don't believe in living together after you're married.
48:00
SPEAKER_02: All right, Peter.
48:02
SPEAKER_02: We flag a woman just she is she's amazing.
48:06
SPEAKER_01: Well, yeah.
48:07
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so that took an unexpected turn.
48:09
SPEAKER_02: But there's a lot of things.
48:09
SPEAKER_01: I love it.
48:10
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
48:10
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48:11
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48:13
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48:14
SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
48:15
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48:16
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48:18
SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
48:19
SPEAKER_01: Bye.
48:19
SPEAKER_02: Bye.
48:20
SPEAKER_02: Okay, that was today's episode of WTF.
48:23
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48:32
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48:34
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48:40
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