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5 Expert-Recommended Books to Beat Work Stress and Build Healthy Habits! · Deep Thoughts

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  Speaker 1: Okay, So have you ever felt like you're just drowning
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  Speaker 1: in work, like going through the motions, checking things off
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  Speaker 1: the list, but that feeling of not doing enough just
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  Speaker 1: never goes away.
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  Speaker 2: It's like we're all stuck on this hamster wheel of busy.
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  Speaker 1: Right, yeah, exactly, and you are so not alone. I
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  Speaker 1: was actually reading that Zipia, you know, the job website.
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  Speaker 1: They found that eighty three percent of people experience work
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  Speaker 1: related stress. Eighty eighty three percent. That's like almost everyone we.
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  Speaker 2: Know, pretty much.
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  Speaker 1: But what if I told you there's a way to
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  Speaker 1: actually like change how we think about stress, that maybe,
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  Speaker 1: just maybe stress isn't always the bad guy.
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  Speaker 2: It's a total paradigm shift, isn't it. We're so used
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  Speaker 2: to thinking of stress as like this universally negative thing.
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  Speaker 1: Right, So today we're diving into some books that challenge
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  Speaker 1: that whole idea, will unpack how stress and our habits
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  Speaker 1: are connected, how our social circles play a surprisingly big role.
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  Speaker 1: And even hear a founder's story about navigating a demanding
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  Speaker 1: career while dealing with mental health.
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  Speaker 2: It's like a toolkit for not just surviving, but thrit
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  Speaker 2: and all that chaos of our work lives.
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  Speaker 1: I like that, thriving in the chaos. So to kick
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  Speaker 1: things off, we have to talk about Kelly mcgonagall's book
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  Speaker 1: The Upside of Stress. Such a good one, Okay, the
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  Speaker 1: Upside of Stress. That title alone is intriguing. What's the
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  Speaker 1: deal with finding an upside to stress?
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  Speaker 2: Well, mcgonagall's research suggests that it's not actually the stress
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  Speaker 2: itself that's always bad for us. It's more about our
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  Speaker 2: beliefs about stress, the story we tell ourselves about it.
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  Speaker 2: That's what really impacts us.
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  Speaker 1: So it's like if my boss dumps a massive project
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  Speaker 1: on my desk, it's not the project itself giving me
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  Speaker 1: an ulcer, it's my inner voice screaming I can't handle this.
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  Speaker 1: That's the real.
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  Speaker 2: Issue, exactly. Think about it. When you view a stressful
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  Speaker 2: situation as a threat, like your body actually goes into
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  Speaker 2: that primal fight or flight mode, right, well, your heart's racing,
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  Speaker 2: you might start sweating, you get a little panicky even.
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  Speaker 2: But here's the interesting part. If you can view that
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  Speaker 2: same exact situation as a challenge instead, your body still
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  Speaker 2: has a response, but it releases different horrnyes. These ones
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  Speaker 2: actually sharpen your focus, boost your energy, and even make
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  Speaker 2: you more resilient in the long run.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, so instead of that project being a giant wave
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  Speaker 1: that's going to crush me, I need to reframe it
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  Speaker 1: as I don't know a surfboard and I'm about to
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  Speaker 1: ride this wave of stress to success.
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  Speaker 2: You got it. And the best part is that McGonagall
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  Speaker 2: actually backs this up with some pretty solid research.
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  Speaker 1: Oh does she?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, there's one study she talks about where they told
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  Speaker 2: people to view stress as beneficial and those people, believe
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  Speaker 2: it or not, actually had better cardiovascular responses during stressful tasks.
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  Speaker 1: Right.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, their blood vessels stayed more relaxed, which is a
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  Speaker 2: good sign of a healthy heart under pressure.
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  Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, so our brains are way more powerful than
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  Speaker 1: we realize. But let's be real for a second. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: it's easy to say reframe stress when we're talking about
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  Speaker 1: like a work project or something, right, But I feel
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  Speaker 1: like there are some stressors, especially for women, that feel
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  Speaker 1: way bigger than just you know, changing our mindsets. Absolutely,
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  Speaker 1: it's that constant juggling act, the pressure to do it
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  Speaker 1: all perfectly, both at work and at home, that can
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  Speaker 1: feel like a one way ticket to burnout.
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  Speaker 2: City, for sure, And that is exactly what Emily and
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  Speaker 2: Amlionagoski dig into in their book Burnout.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, the Nagosky sisters Burnout. What's their take on this,
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  Speaker 1: especially for women.
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  Speaker 2: Well, one of our main points, and I think a
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  Speaker 2: lot of us can relate to this, is that there's
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  Speaker 2: this impossible gap between what society expects from women and
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  Speaker 2: like the actual reality of our lives.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, it's like we're supposed to be crushing it in
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  Speaker 1: our careers, being perfect mothers, partners, friends.
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  Speaker 2: And somehow we're supposed to look effortlessly amazing while doing
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  Speaker 2: all of it right.
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  Speaker 1: It's like, how is that even possible?
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  Speaker 2: Just not, it's this impossible standard.
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  Speaker 1: It's like society hands you this mile long to do
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  Speaker 1: list and then acts all surprised when you haven't achieved
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  Speaker 1: world peace by lunchtime exactly.
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  Speaker 2: And what I find really interesting is they actually go
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  Speaker 2: into some specific examples of this. Oh do they like,
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  Speaker 2: we have this whole section on the Bikini Industrial Complex,
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  Speaker 2: which I'd never really thought about before.
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  Speaker 1: The Bikini Industrial Complex. Okay, now I need to hear more.
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  Speaker 1: What is that?
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  Speaker 2: So basically they're saying that all this pressure on women
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  Speaker 2: to have this certain body image, which is often totally
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  Speaker 2: unrealistic and unhealthy.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, tell me about it.
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  Speaker 2: It's a huge e sortce of stress and anxiety for women.
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  Speaker 1: It's everywhere you look, it really is.
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  Speaker 2: It's those magazines, it's social media.
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  Speaker 1: Air brusht ads. It's exhausting.
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  Speaker 2: And it's not even just about the pressure to look
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  Speaker 2: a certain way. It's all the time and energy, yes,
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  Speaker 2: the mental space it takes up. It's like all that
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  Speaker 2: worrying about our bodies could be used for things we
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  Speaker 2: actually enjoy, you know, totally.
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  Speaker 1: So it sounds like they're really validating that feeling a
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  Speaker 1: lot of women have just being completely overloaded. Yeah, but
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  Speaker 1: they offer any solutions, because it's one thing to identify
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  Speaker 1: the problem, but how do we actually start to I
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  Speaker 1: don't know, fix it.
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  Speaker 2: They absolutely off and it's not just about bubble baths
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  Speaker 2: and face masks, although those are important too, Don't get
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  Speaker 2: me wrong.
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  Speaker 1: Of course, self care is key.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, but they really emphasize setting boundaries, putting self care first,
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  Speaker 2: and this is crucial challenging those unrealistic expectations that society
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  Speaker 2: throws at us.
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  Speaker 1: It's about taking back our time, our energy, our sanity
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  Speaker 1: basically exactly. I like the sound of that, right, But
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  Speaker 1: speaking of reclaiming control. I think we should talk about
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  Speaker 1: Charles do higgs book The Power of Habit.
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  Speaker 2: Yes, I have.
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  Speaker 1: A feeling that this one might give us some actual
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  Speaker 1: tools from making those changes. Yeah, so we're talking about
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  Speaker 1: like setting boundaries, really prioritizing ourselves, pushing back against those expectations.
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  Speaker 1: It's like a total mind shift, which sounds.
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  Speaker 2: Amazing it does, but then like reality sets in right
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  Speaker 2: back to the mountain of emails.
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  Speaker 1: And deadline exactly. So how do we actually bridge that
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  Speaker 1: gap between knowing what we should do and then like
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  Speaker 1: actually changing those deep down habits, especially when we're stressed
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  Speaker 1: and reaching for the familiar, you know, even if it's
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  Speaker 1: not the healthiest thing.
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  Speaker 2: That's where Douhig and the Power of Habit comes in.
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  Speaker 2: He gives us this framework. It's super useful, called the
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  Speaker 2: habit loop.
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  Speaker 1: Okay, the habit loop. Walk me through this. How can
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  Speaker 1: it help us make actual, lasting changes even with all
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  Speaker 1: the work chaos.
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  Speaker 2: Well, it's surprisingly simple. So first you've got the queue.
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  Speaker 2: Basically that's the trigger for your habit. Could be anything really,
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  Speaker 2: a certain time of day, a feeling like when you're overwhelmed,
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  Speaker 2: even just seeing your phone light up.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, I feel that right.
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  Speaker 2: So that que it then triggers the routine, which is
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  Speaker 2: the habit itself.
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  Speaker 1: So say, my queue is that overwhelmed feeling when I
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  Speaker 1: open my inbox first thing in the morning. My routine
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  Speaker 1: is immediately making a bee line for the coffee pot
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  Speaker 1: and then oh man, getting sucked into social media for
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  Speaker 1: like twenty minutes before you even think about work.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly, you got it, And then comes the reward. In
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  Speaker 2: that case, it's that temporary relief from thinking about your inbox,
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  Speaker 2: that little dopamine hit you get from scrolling, which.
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  Speaker 1: We all know is so fleeting, And then I'm just
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  Speaker 1: more stressed because I wasted time. Okay, so the reward
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  Speaker 1: keeps us coming back, even if it's not good for us.
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  Speaker 1: But how does knowing this loop actually help us break
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  Speaker 1: those habits, those bad ones.
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  Speaker 2: Because once you see the pieces, you can change them up.
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  Speaker 2: Douhig gives this great example how Pepsident, the toothpaste company,
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  Speaker 2: got people in the habit of brushing their teeth regularly.
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  Speaker 1: Which, when you think about it, that wasn't always a thing, right,
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  Speaker 1: Brushing your teeth isn't exactly like the most thrilling activity.
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  Speaker 2: How they do it by totally understanding that reward, they
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  Speaker 2: actually put a tingling sensation in their toothpaste, created this craving,
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  Speaker 2: this good feeling people started to look forward to.
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  Speaker 1: So they like hacked the habit loop by adding in
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  Speaker 1: a bit of pleasure. Okay, I love that, But what
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  Speaker 1: about habits that affect not just us, but like the
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  Speaker 1: people around us. I'm thinking how stress is almost contagious.
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  Speaker 1: It ripples out to our coworkers, our families even totally.
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  Speaker 2: That's where connected by Christoaceus and Fowler like blew my mind,
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  Speaker 2: they get into this whole social contagion.
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  Speaker 1: Thus social contagent. Okay, I'm listening.
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  Speaker 2: It's this idea that our emotions, what we do, even
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  Speaker 2: our health is swayed by the people we're around more
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  Speaker 2: than we realize. They found that having a happy neighbor
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  Speaker 2: can actually impact your well being more than a happy spouse.
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  Speaker 1: Wild right, Wait, seriously, a neighbor. Okay, that's kind of crazy.
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  Speaker 1: So even if I'm trying to be cool and collected
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  Speaker 1: at work, if everyone else is stressed, I'm more likely
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  Speaker 1: to catch those vibes too.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly, But think about it, That means our positive stuff
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  Speaker 2: is contagious too. If we manage our stress, get that
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  Speaker 2: resilient mindset. It ripples out impacts everyone.
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  Speaker 1: So it's like we've got a responsibility not just to
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  Speaker 1: ourselves but to our people to manage this well. And
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  Speaker 1: we can do that with a habit loop, reframing our thoughts,
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  Speaker 1: building those good connections. It's all linked together. Which, speaking
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  Speaker 1: of handling stress and tough jobs, our last book, burn
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  Speaker 1: Rate by Andy Dunn, really gets into this totally.
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  Speaker 2: He's the founder of Bonobos, the clothing company. Right. He
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  Speaker 2: shares his experience of building their whole thing while dealing
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  Speaker 2: with bipolar disorder. Super vulnerable.
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  Speaker 1: Right, That openness about his mental health is so powerful.
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  Speaker 1: I remember reading how Sophira, who's the CEO over at Zerra,
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  Speaker 1: she said reading burn Rate actually made her take her
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  Speaker 1: own mental health more seriously.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, that's huge.
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  Speaker 1: If a book can do that, it's pretty amazing.
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  Speaker 2: It really is. It tells us it's okay to not
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  Speaker 2: be okay and then asking for help putting our mental
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  Speaker 2: well being first. That's not weak, it's strong, and I
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  Speaker 2: think we all need to hear that one hundred percent.
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  Speaker 1: So as we wrap up this deep dive, what's your
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  Speaker 1: biggest takeaway? What's that one thing you're walking away with.
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  Speaker 2: Honestly, it's the power of connection, not just with people,
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  Speaker 2: but how our thoughts, our habits are well being. They're
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  Speaker 2: all linked. It's like we've been handed this incredible toolkit
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  Speaker 2: from changing how we viewed stress to actually hacking our habits,
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  Speaker 2: and it's up to us to use it.
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  Speaker 1: I love that, and I think our listeners have a
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  Speaker 1: lot to think about today. Here's a final thought and
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  Speaker 1: maybe a little challenge. If there was just one small
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  Speaker 1: change you could make today, even a tiny tweet to
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  Speaker 1: your routine, to help you deal with stress and build
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  Speaker 1: those positive vibes, what would it be. Think about that
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  Speaker 1: habit loop, that ripple effect, because even the smallest actions
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  Speaker 1: can make a huge difference.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in to this episode of the
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  Speaker 2: Deep Thoughts podcast. I hope you found insights and inspiration
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  Speaker 2: to take with you on your journey of self growth.
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• 10:31
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