Latest / One Voice Many Conversations / Crushing Strongholds #033-Guest Speaker Dr. Chonta T.A. Haynes

Transcript

Crushing Strongholds #033-Guest Speaker Dr. Chonta T.A. Haynes · One Voice Many Conversations

• 0:02
  SPEAKER_01: Hello, everyone.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome back to another episode of Crushing Strongholds.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: This is a podcast where we turn pain into power, trauma into triumph, and just a place where we get to expose the lies of the enemy.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's also a place where we get to tell the truth and speak of our testimonies and ways that we are able to conquer and crush strongholds.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: And how do we do that?
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: We do that by exposing the lies of the enemy and sharing our struggles that we have gone through in our own lives.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: And just getting over those getting over those hurdles helps us to conquer those strongholds.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_01: And today I have an amazing guest.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Can't wait to introduce her.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm really excited.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: She's actually an instructor of mine from KBA Academy, and I've learned a lot from her.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_01: And she's going to be joining us today.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: And her her name is Dr.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Shantae T.A.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: Hayes.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_01: And she's an amazing, very experienced lady.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_01: I can't wait for y'all to meet her.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm super excited to have her here.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want to get going and welcome her in.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: So welcome in.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm so happy to be here and happy to be able to share.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_01: Well, this podcast, as we know, um, it's about strongholds.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that you've conquered a few.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: But before we dive into that, why don't you tell our listeners just who you are, what you do?
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: I know you're an author, you've written seven books.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you have a doctorate in theology, you love the ministry, you're a speaker, you're a coach, you're kind of like like you said, you said the one-stop stop.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I think I think you're fully loaded, and I think you have a lot to share.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: So, would you like to share with our listeners some of what you do?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm again, I'm Dr.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_00: Shantae Haynes, and I am super excited to be here.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: First and foremost, I'm a child of the most high God, and I love the Lord for all of my heart.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I say my birthday is the day after Christmas, and I tell people I follow Jesus, I always have and always will from that standpoint.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And he has equipped me over the years.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I have had the wonderful opportunity, one of being in corporate America, working on uh the engineering side of the house, um, building a car.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, I was a program engineer for 2000 Chevy Cavalier, but that's another life.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: And then I also worked in the church for over 20 years.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I've had several experiences.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I was a youth ministry coordinator, I was academic operations officer for a Christian university, had a wonderful career, enjoy what I do, both ministry side.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I've seen the ups and the downs of ministry too.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I promise you that.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, and we always talk about the church hurt and all of this.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: We have hurt everywhere.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: But there are so many different things that we recognize that we think is okay for the world to do.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: And then when we come to the church, we want to say, oh no, no, no, you can't.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: But I've had that wonderful opportunity.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: Also have a degree in Christian counseling as well.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: But I love the coaching aspect of what I get a chance to do now.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I bring in queen peneurs, as I call them, Christian female entrepreneurs.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I'm known as the one-stop shop for faith-based coaches, authors, and speakers who want to 5x their income and their impact.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I help them, I'm called the Destiny Designer, by the way.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: So that I help them uh scale their businesses with strategy, systems, and spirit, capital S Spirit for Holy Spirit.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: And so that's just a little bit about me, but I know we're gonna get into a lot of my life story.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe that, you know, we can look at the credentials that a person has, but it's a crisis that they've gone through that really shows what they are made of and what you can learn from them.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's so good.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: I thought I think that um as we develop in our life, that it it brings out our character when we go through trauma.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: It really does.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, some of us handle it well and some of us not so much.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um, there's times in my life where I handled it well, and there's times not so much.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I get what you're saying when um we talk about, you know, you know, having credentials.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it's interesting because I had a gal ask me one time, what was my credentials?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, Well, you know, I have my associates and my bachelor's degree and and in um life coaching and um the ministry.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_01: I said, but honestly, my degree came from the Word of God.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_01: I go, God equipped me, He called me, and I was chosen, and that's the only degree I really need.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_01: I go, I don't need a plaque on my wall, I don't need a certificate, I don't need any of that to tell me who I am.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_01: But thank you for asking because you can have the same thing if you don't have that.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I like to tell people, you can get on board if you want that, if you want that credential, you have it.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: So it's ready and waiting for anyone that's um needing it.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: So I love that you share all that.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: You also have a um a really huge testimony of overcoming a stronghold.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: Many, actually, you've had you've had quite a few, but um today, what what is it that you would like to tell our listeners?
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: What testimony do you think you could share or shine a light on that might help someone else who has possibly gone through something similar or is going through the same thing?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in general, let me say this we go through different phases in life and we deal with challenges, we deal with a lot of losses, all right.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_00: And today's day and age, as my mom would say, people are dying today that have never died before.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: And we have lost people, we have lost relationships, we have lost a lot, and a lot of times we look at what is no longer there, and what I really focus on is the collateral beauty, not just the damage.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so a lot of times we we get into that mindset of thinking that, okay, what I've lost now, I'm done, I'm over, I don't have anything else to offer.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And we can get in a rut, we can get in a depressive state, we can stay stuck, and that's where those strongholds come in.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's in our mind, or all the time it really is in our mind.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I say I help you adjust your crown, see yourself the way God sees you.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: You never know what someone else is going to pick up from your story.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: So part of my story, and I mentioned this to you before we got on, is my middle daughter passed away in 05, three days before her 11th birthday.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: And a lot of people looked at me as soon as she passed away, okay, that evening, I went and taught a theology class because I compartmentalized.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_00: I knew there was a responsibility.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I grew up in that time period, that age where, you know, our ethics were important.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: We had a great work ethic, and we still do, right?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to show up for work and we're supposed to give our best.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: My number one scripture is Colossians 3.23.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you do, you do it with all of your heart, is unto the Lord and not to man.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So I went and I taught that class.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: And people looked at me like, well, how are you teaching this class?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that was my responsibility.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_00: God's word is still true.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: If I believe what his word says, that everything is going to work out for my good, for those that love God, those that are called according to his purpose, he's got me.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: He already knows he knew what was going to happen, he knew when it was going to happen, and he positioned me in order to do that.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I taught the class.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: Doesn't mean I didn't cry, doesn't mean I didn't have some moments, and sometimes it was moment by moment, not day by day.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: And it was like, okay, and you know, I recognized that people didn't know what to say, but at the same time, I got this letter afterwards from one of my uh sisters.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: She sent me an email, a letter, and she said she all she never wanted to have children because she was afraid that she would lose them.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: But watching me go through, she recognized that they're only unloaned to us from God.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: And then she started having children that released her to say, yeah, your worst fear might come true, but God already knows.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: What I learned from my daughter, her name's Jasmine.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: What I learned from Jasmine, I post every single year.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I post something different.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Here are the lessons that I learned while I was going through.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Here's how it started.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: This is the biggest thing that she's taught me.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: I learned to suffer with a smile from a child.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: No one, I mean, I would not have.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: She ended up, she started having seizures with the onset of illness when she was very young.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_00: That means that her temperature level was, you know, so when it got low, or the variation in the temperature then allowed her to have these seizures.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: She ended up getting pneumonia from her teacher at school.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I always say, look, don't send your child to school if they're sick.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: That's not fair, right?
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: But a lot of parents do.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: Why do they do it?
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Because they need to go to work.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And if I don't send my child in, but they're not thinking the consequence for somebody else.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, and I, you know, the the teacher was really upset, like, oh, I caused this.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, you know, don't worry about it.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: God knows, and he already knew.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_00: You came to school, you got it from your child who you sent to school.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: You came to work because if you didn't come to work, you weren't gonna be paid.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: Now, do I think it was right to do?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: Not necessarily, but the consequence, I'm not gonna hold that against you.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to forgive.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not gonna hold that against you.
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_00: But she felt really bad.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: But the whole thing was going through that, there were so many people that got blessed by it.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: What did I have to overcome?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Am I going to hold on to bitterness and unforgiveness?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not gonna do that.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: Am I going to blame somebody else for what I'm dealing with?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not gonna do that.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: Am I going to stay stuck and say, well, okay, now my life is over and I can't live anymore?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, I'm not going to do that.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still going to show up.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: God still has a purpose for me.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: As long as I have breath in my body, there's a requirement then for me to say, Lord, what do you have for me to do today?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: We say this is the day that the Lord has made.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to rejoice and be glad in it.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes it's one heavy foot in front of the other that you take.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we do.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I I I think that um, you know, with listening to your story and your experience, it's like sometimes I wonder when I hear stories like that, I wonder, I and I'm gonna ask you this now.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_01: Did you ever at a time ever feel resentment towards God or you know, in general, because of, you know, you know, God, you took my baby.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: You know, why would you?
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I love you, Lord, but why would you take my kid?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, you know how many how often we say why to God, right?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: We always we are we are quite we're really quick at questioning God.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_01: We're good at saying why, why, why all the time.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we should write write a book about all the whys, we say the God, you know, but um, yeah, did you ever at a time, you know, when when when when you're hurting and you felt that trauma, um, did you ever have any resentment at all?
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: I won't say I had resentment, but I had questions.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: So when Jasmine was in the hospital, um, you know, I've learned not to ask the why, because you're not gonna really get an answer to a why question.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_00: We learn to ask better questions.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: You ask, what am I supposed to learn from this?
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: What am I supposed to get out of this?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember driving to the hospital and I said, Okay, Lord, we've been in this for a while because she was in the hospital for a long time before.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Okay, what am I supposed to learn?
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: Give me the answers to the question.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, if it's multiple choice, tell me.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: If it's an essay, tell me what I'm supposed to say so that we can get over this.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: But it was like, okay, Lord, this is a test.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_00: Give me the answers, right?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_00: And what do we say?
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: When at when the test is given, the professor is silent.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: And so it was like, okay, Lord, well, what am I supposed to learn from this?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: And at the time I didn't know, but I didn't know why I was going through, but I knew there was something I was supposed to be getting out of it.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_00: I mentioned the letter I got from someone saying, wow, this really blessed me.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: There were so many people that came up to me afterwards.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: However, I will say this after she passed away that very next Sunday, I got up to go to church and I felt this angelic presence.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I didn't know whether it was an angel or a demon.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know what it was.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: I just knew it was a presence in my room.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not the woo-woo person, so you know, don't think that.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: I go straight biblical.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I just knew there was a presence.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, I said out loud, I don't know who you are or what, but we're going to church and you can go with us.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_02: Oh.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna, you're just gonna get freed.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember telling the Lord that morning, I said, I miss Jasmine's hugs.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: She had the best hugs.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: She gave you bear hugs, she meant it when she gave it to you.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: If she said, bless you today, she meant that thing.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she children, I love children because they don't put on any ears, they don't wear any masks.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so I went and I was telling the Lord, I was honest.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I try to teach people.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: Be honest with God in whatever.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_00: If you're hurting, tell him.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: If you're crying, cry in front of him.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: If you need to repent, repent in front of him because he knows it already.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: You're not hiding anything from him.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I told him that morning, I said, you know, I really missed her hugs.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: And we had in our church at the time, we would have um a meet and greet every single Sunday.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you're supposed to go around and hug everybody.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_00: And so this day, now I'm going in and I'm like, Lord, I really miss her hugs.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: Every single child in church that day hugged me.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_00: Not one adult hugged me.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't realize it until after the meet and greet was over, and I was like, he answered my prayer.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: I got the best hugs that day.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: So sometimes you just need to ask him for what you need.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't resent him because I know that life is happening for me, not against me.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_00: I know that he's got my best interest at heart, no matter what it looks like.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_00: And you know how we say we'll understand it better by and by, we'll understand it after the fact.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hindsight is 2020.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so instead of getting upset right then, you say, Okay, Lord, I don't know what I'm going through.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why I'm dealing with this right now, but you're gonna show it to me, and I'm believing that you are.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm at that point, now where that came from, I can't answer that for you, Mickey.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_00: I wish I knew the answer to say, okay, Lord, here's the button, let me push it.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: And now I'm strong.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: It's life experiences, but I've always been taught along the way to believe in the trust.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: And some people have a hard time in trusting.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I could give you stories of so many things that happened that I did not like.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I've learned to the way and I I can only say God gave it to me.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Unforgiveness is a big issue for a lot of people.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have that issue and I'm grateful for it.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: It allows me to let people be themselves, receive them as they are, as they come to me.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: I might want more for them, but if they're not willing to step into it, I can't force them to do that.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: And you you learn to step back and say, okay, this is where you are.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, when you're ready, I can help.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: But I think we one in churches, we don't really talk about the real side of what people are going through, or we don't feel comfortable in going to someone.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: And we need more people like you, more people that are willing to give their testimony and say, This is what I'm going through, or this is what I've been through.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: Let me help you through it.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, when we talk about relationships, yes, there's a such thing as a gray divorce, anything over 25 years, right?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: But at the same time, there are couples that have gone through seasons in their life that they have overcome and now they're celebrating 40, 50 years of marriage.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_00: We need to go to them.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: The Bible tells us to do that.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: The younger women need to go to the older women for them to train them.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: The older men are to train the younger men, you know, and the couples.
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_00: It tells us to do that, but we're not following.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we're supposed to be leading.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you know, uh, just like Jesus leads us, that's what discipleship is.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: When we get discipled by Jesus, he says, He literally took 10 men, he discipled them, and then what did he say?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: He said, Go, go to all the nations and share the word.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: We're not doing that.
• 17:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're we're lacking.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, Paul tells us, follow me as I follow Christ, right?
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_00: And so if my life is supposed to be an example for others, I need to be leading them somewhere, not to destruction, because it tells us, you know, the blind lead the blind and both go into a ditch.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I used to say in class when I would teach it, if you see the effects of blindness, if they're bumping in the walls, if they're falling over, don't follow that.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_00: But there are plenty of people that are really going the right way.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_00: Will you have hardships?
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_00: From the fall of man, you see it every single day.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: Will you have losses?
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, you will.
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: But it does not mean that you can't plant a garden of future promises instead of one of regret.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: I like to follow people that hold me accountable.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Because we don't hold ourselves accountable.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: And we sometimes, um, not to be immature or lacking, but sometimes we just lack the responsibility of, you know, calling out ourselves, you know, looking in the mirror and just calling it out.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: And um, during an episode the other day, a gal asked me, she said, when I was describing the three ways that we deal with strongholds, one is through the enemy.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: That's a given.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: But the enemy gets a lot of credit.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: Here's the thing some of it's our behavior.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_01: And our behavior, we're giving that credit to the enemy as well because we're saying, Oh, it's the enemy.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_01: No, it's your behavior.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_01: And now the enemy is like, yeah, keep giving it to me.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take it.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take it.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: I'll take all the credit for it because he wants it.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: So we're not giving God any credit.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: We're giving the enemy credit from our behavior and from what the enemy's doing.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have the generational curses and you know our ancestry and our bringing up that that also puts, you know, that little infringement on us.
• 19:22
  SPEAKER_01: Those are all ways that we um develop some strongholds in our life.
• 19:27
  SPEAKER_01: But God is such an overcomer, and that's why I share with people like your struggle, your stronghold, it may look like a mountain, like huge mountain, but to God it's like so, it's like a speck, so tiny.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: And he sees you struggling looking at this mountain, but he's thinking if you just take that step over, you're gonna be right where you need to be.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we don't take that accountability or responsibility, you know, with the strongholds that we face.
• 19:53
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's it's interesting that you said that because um we, you know, with with with what Paul says, where we're supposed to go out and and teach teach one another because we don't do that.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: I love how I love how Paul taught Timothy.
• 20:06
  SPEAKER_01: I love how Paul worked with Timothy.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's like one of my favorite things in the Bible.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I liked that the one of the last letters he wrote was to Timothy, you know, before he died.
• 20:16
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot going on with Timothy and Paul.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: I love that in the Word of God.
• 20:21
  SPEAKER_01: But I also love the Gospels because I feel like we don't we don't share the Gospels anymore as much as we should, because we live in a world of offense, you know.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_01: And what I mean by offense, not offended, offense, like you're walking around in a in a yard and it's fenced.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: You're we're living literally in offense, and we are fenced in to a specific mindset and we can't get out of it.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: So we anything that comes to the fence, you you're not willing to accept.
• 20:51
  SPEAKER_01: You're not allowed, you're not willing to bring them into your mindset because your mind is stuck into what you what you've been taught.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: We we live in a world today now with the cancel culture.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 21:03
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of times we're afraid to speak out.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_00: We're we don't know who is going to back us up.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_00: We live in a world when you look at the political climate, it is horrible.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_00: It's you've got those who are willing to berate you and slander you and say all kind of a kind of manner of evil against you falsely, because they can comment and then they don't have to take responsibility for it.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_00: When you think about it, slander is something that you can be charged for, you can go to court for and and be awarded um funds for because somebody slandered your name.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_00: Your name is the only thing that you have, you know, and so those who are in positions that stand up for Christ, that have lost their positions over the last few years, is ridiculous.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_00: But they've lost their jobs.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you lost your worldly job, but you didn't lose your position in Christ.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: And they were willing to sacrifice that.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: Businesses that were willing, when you look at Hobby Lobby and you look at the baker over, I want to say in California or Colorado and all of that, when you when you look at what the world is doing with the transgenders and everything else in the same-sex marriages, and oh, I'm not gonna bake you a cake and I'm not gonna bring flowers to this because that goes against my belief system.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_00: You have a to me, you have a right to believe what you believe.
• 22:39
  SPEAKER_00: I agree.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_00: But you don't have a right to make me tolerate what you believe.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_00: Because toler tolerance, they take take tolerance as acceptance, and that's not fair.
• 22:51
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so you've got a lot of believers that say, well, then I'm just not gonna speak out, I'm not going to be willing to tell what I believe or to even voice my opinion any longer because the world is not willing to hear it.
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_00: So what I say to that is you might not be on a stage to say it, but it doesn't mean you can't have a one-on-one conversation.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because how do we win people over one conversation at a time?
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so that stronghold of my voice doesn't matter is a lie.
• 23:23
  SPEAKER_00: Your voice matters, your testimony matters.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_00: What you have to say, right, wrong, or indifferent, you need to be able to voice what it is so that you're open enough to hear what the scripture says that somebody's going to bring to you so that you can change your thoughts.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_00: As a funny um conversation I had with someone that was older than me.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, we hear cliches in church, you know, the church colloquialisms, you know, and they said to me, um, what was the one that they used?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: They said, um, I'm clothed in my right mind.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, What kind of clothes did your mind have on it today?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: Are you wearing a bikini or what?
• 24:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's not what the scripture said.
• 24:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was the Gaderian demoniac.
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_00: He said he was clothed, comma, and in his right mind.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_00: Now, we didn't add punctuation until later on, I think 14th century or so.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_00: So when you look at the Hebrew and the Greek, there's no punctuation whatsoever.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_00: But the idea was he was now found clothed because at first he was ripping off his clothes.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_00: And he was in his right mind.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_00: Two different things.
• 24:36
  SPEAKER_00: But we take things and we continue to say them, and then, but what she said to me was, I don't care what you say, I'm gonna believe this.
• 24:45
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, I'm gonna leave you there.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_00: I can take you to the scripture, I can show it to you, but it's my responsibility as a believer to share with you what I do know is true and not let you continue to move forward.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now, was that salvific, you know?
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_00: No, it's not gonna change whether or not you're saved or not.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_00: But still, we have to be willing to hear because we come in with our ideologies, with our thought processes, with what other people have said to us in the past, and we just pick it up and run with it.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, oh, wait, that wasn't right.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_00: Let's correct it, let's be willing.
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_00: And that's where some of those strongholds come in because I am not willing to hear what the word of God says.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we need to be like the Bereans.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: Go search the scriptures for yourself to see what's doing instead of being spoon-fed, and we want somebody to spoon feed us on a Sunday morning, and you know, just tell me everything is going to be great, just tell me it's all wonderful.
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, and I will confess during the time of me going through my divorce, I needed to hear that.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, right.
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I needed to know that I'm loved, I needed to know that God cares, I needed to know that without being challenged on anything, but I'd already done my challenge because when I was asked for the divorce, my initial and not like anybody else, I went to Proverbs 31 and I searched the scripture.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_00: I did a Bible study on the Proverbs 31 woman.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_00: Who does that?
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I wanted to make sure that as the Bible says, as much as it is your responsibility, as much as it relies on you, live peaceably with all men.
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's what it says.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_00: So I wanted to make sure that I didn't have anything that I could have changed or done differently, that I did what was responsible for me.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_00: Because I want to hear well done, thy good and faithful servant.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_00: Once I clear myself, I'm okay.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_00: You can do what you want.
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I don't think what when you said we don't take responsibility, you're absolutely right.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and so and and the other thing is we don't like some, we don't like to hear someone tell us that either.
• 27:03
  SPEAKER_01: We we often listen to respond, we don't listen to listen, you know, and it that's why God says that we're supposed to meditate and sit, because how can we hear what he's saying to us if we're not willing to even listen to it?
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that meditation is so important.
• 27:17
  SPEAKER_01: And I I teach that with my coaching that if you can't take 10 minutes of your day and give that 10 minutes to God and allow him to speak through you, whether whether through prayer or worship or through the word, it doesn't have to be just one entity because God is everywhere, he's omnipotent.
• 27:34
  SPEAKER_01: So it could be anything, you know.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: Um sometimes I'll get in the car and I'll just I'll drive around the block, you know, because there's so much noise going on in my house that I just need a moment of quietness, that stillness where I can actually have time to talk to God and you know try to hear his voice, you know.
• 27:52
  SPEAKER_01: And not not not like he's like speaking to me audibly, but you know, he won't he speaks to us through the Holy Spirit.
• 27:59
  SPEAKER_01: And we we sometimes need that confirmation, but we have to be willing to listen and we also have to be willing to take responsibility to what we're talking to God for.
• 28:07
  SPEAKER_01: When I go to God, like I'm a I'm a pretty straight shooter, I'm like, all right, Lord, I messed up again, here I come, you know, and you know, clear the way, you know, you know, I mean get your broom and dustpan out because you're gonna need it.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna spill the guts, you know, and and um I talk to God, you know, like um, like he's everything to me because he should be.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_01: He should be everything to all of us, you know, and he's the one that um, yes, I have, you know, I have best friends, I have people I can confide in and trust.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and I love them with all my heart.
• 28:36
  SPEAKER_01: But there's certain things that you take to God, and um I don't like to dump, I don't like to be the dump truck on people, you know.
• 28:43
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be the dump truck on someone.
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um sometimes, you know, I have a friend that I'll call and talk to just to get some advice to be like, hey, I'm going through this, what do you think?
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_01: But not to not to be the dump truck, you know.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: God, I dump on God though.
• 28:55
  SPEAKER_01: I dump it all on God.
• 28:57
  SPEAKER_01: And he and you know, he doesn't, he doesn't um, you know, he's not mad or angry at us.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: He wants to hear what we're going through.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: He wants us.
• 29:04
  SPEAKER_01: I tell people whatever whatever mess you're in, you're in.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: Huh?
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_00: I said he can handle our questions.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: He's not afraid of that.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_00: He's got answers for us.
• 29:15
  SPEAKER_00: But I love what you said.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_00: When I was going through my divorce, I cut out a whole lot of people.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_00: I went down to two.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_00: I had one that was fighting for my marriage with me or praying with me through it, and I had another one, both of them were my accountability partners, and I still have an accountability partner because I wanted to make sure that my witness was going to still stand, that I was not gonna do something crazy, right?
• 29:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, or out of character that would harm what I would be able to say later on.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_00: So you're absolutely right.
• 29:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you talked about listening to God.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: Prayer is a two-way street, but a lot of times we think we're just supposed to give our request and we get up and we walk away.
• 29:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I did write a book on prayer too, by the way.
• 30:01
  SPEAKER_00: But doing that.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_00: The thing about it is you gotta be willing to listen.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: What is he responding?
• 30:08
  SPEAKER_00: He's it's a conversation, and I love how real you are.
• 30:12
  SPEAKER_00: You he knows our personality.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_00: You and I both are straight shooters, okay, Lord.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you can't treat me like Abraham, you can't just tell me to go.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_00: Give me some direction, give me some details.
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna need that.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_00: But sometimes he'll like he'll speak to me with birds.
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if I see a cardinal, I'm like, okay, you're telling me there's danger, be watchful today.
• 30:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's all I need to know.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't have any details.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_00: It's not like a bird is coming chirping and telling me something.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_00: No, that's not that's not the answer.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_00: But if a dove lies, you know, at my windowsill or one comes to my door, I was like, okay, I know you're you're abiding with me today.
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_00: I feel that calm.
• 30:55
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you see an eagle.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Lord, you've got something for me to soar against today.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_00: I need to rise above this particular situation, you know, those kind of things.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_00: That's for me.
• 31:07
  SPEAKER_00: I used to teach a class called Discovering Your Purpose, and one of the modules in it talked about how it helped you figure out how you hear from God.
• 31:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's very, very important.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_00: Some people hear audibly, very few, some get visual, some have this knowing in their sis, in their their their bodies, they can feel it.
• 31:28
  SPEAKER_00: Some get goosebumps.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_00: However, you he talks to you is how he talks to you.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_00: But be willing to hear and ask him.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_00: Show me, Lord.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: So God gives me.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I love birds too, by the way.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: The crane is my favorite, the blue heron.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm a big bird girl, so I love dove.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: Doves is a dove is one of my other favorites, and but um, so I can relate with that.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I think God sometimes um he like I have a friend that has dreams and visions, and God gives me thought vision, I I guess you could call it.
• 32:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like um, when I have discussions with her, she calls me often.
• 32:05
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, I gotta pick your brain on something.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta just ask you something.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, I, you know, and we'll talk about it.
• 32:10
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, because I know you're gonna tell me the truth.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: You're just gonna give it to me.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, well, that's you know, I'm not really good at sugar coating anything.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: I'm pretty bad at that.
• 32:18
  SPEAKER_01: So um she, you know, asked me these questions, and then I'd get this thought, this vision in my thought process, and I would say it to her, and she's like, Oh my gosh, you know, oh my gosh, then now it makes sense.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now this makes sense, you know.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when I know that I'm connected with God.
• 32:32
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when when I'm not connected with God, I know that everything is chaos and confusion, and I have no idea because God is not the author of confusion.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: So if we're if we're misleading or misled, and we are walking in that unknown, that's not the Lord.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_01: We're not on the right path.
• 32:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so sometimes I feel like God's like uh, you know, taps you on the shoulder and says, Hey, you need to redirect, you're going the wrong direction, you know, because sometimes we lose sight or we lose that focus on you know what we're supposed to be doing.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_01: And it's hard sometimes to stay completely tuned in when you have a lot going on in your life.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: And I've learned um through some friends of mine that were I have a friend that calls me Mickey Mickey.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_01: She says, Mickey Mickey, your plate is too full.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_01: You need to download the plate.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, I can't, you know, you got too much.
• 33:22
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, You got too much.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: And she's and and she gave me just by her saying that to me, God gave me a vision with it.
• 33:29
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, that you know, a thought vision of here's all my life situations on my plate.
• 33:35
  SPEAKER_01: Where's God in that plate?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_01: Is he the meatball that fell on the floor if I'm carrying a plate of spaghetti?
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, where's God in all that?
• 33:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, wow, God, I'm really, I'm really big, you know, dog pile burying you.
• 33:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, where are you actually in all of the midst of everything I'm piling onto myself?
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I started pulling off those layers because now, now I realize I want to get back to God.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: I need to get to God, you know, because even those things are important, but none of them are important without God.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, I've got to dive.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta get in there, I gotta get into my plate and see what's going on, you know.
• 34:09
  SPEAKER_01: And so I'm really glad that she was able to, you know, honestly say, hey, your plate is just too full.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_01: You got too much.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that that's an honest, loving thing to tell a sister in Christ, you know.
• 34:19
  SPEAKER_01: She wasn't being mean, she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, but it was helpful.
• 34:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I tell her all the time, she's always like, So, how full is your plate?
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, now we laugh and talk about it, you know.
• 34:28
  SPEAKER_01: And it's just it's a reminder, you know, those are the things that we need to share with each other and help build each other and to help each other overcome the strongholds that hold us back from where God really wants us to be.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_01: I honestly feel like a lot of us are not even scratching the surface to the purpose that God has literally designed for us.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because we've allowed so much trauma and atrocity, and we have been blinded by the enemy in so many different directions and avenues.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: And those, like it says in 2 Corinthians, we have to pull down those strongholds because if they're blocking us, we're never gonna get to that purpose.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: We're never gonna get to where God really wants us to go.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's where crushing strongholds came about.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_01: But and and I, you know, just talking with you, I could tell that you know, you you conquered a many strongholds in your life, so that's awesome.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: But okay, so finish that scripture.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_00: It says we cast down every imagination and everything that acknowledges itself against us, it goes against the knowledge of God.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_00: So anything that's over him, we need to remove.
• 35:29
  SPEAKER_00: That's a stronghold.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_00: Um, we put children in that place, we put marriages in that place.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, we put careers in that place, we put a lot of things.
• 35:39
  SPEAKER_00: I love I loved your analogy of the plate.
• 35:42
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like what's on your plate?
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_00: I like analogies.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, exactly.
• 35:48
  SPEAKER_00: It is um, it's just eye-opening when we recognize that there are those that God strategically places in our lives to bring us back to Him when we have so much to do, because the world and the enemy will pile on as much as He can, right?
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_00: All we have to do, and I I tell my business owners this, the entrepreneurs, I say, you have to have that divine CEO moment.
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_00: Every moment, Lord, what would you have for me to do today?
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_00: If I start my day like that, it's gonna go so much better because I can get into the weeds and say, Oh, I need to do this and I need to do okay, but Lord, and I was driving just recently and I was like, I got a lot on my plate.
• 36:31
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I still I do have a lot on my plate.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_00: I know you do.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it has been for a while, and I'm like, okay, but Lord, I want to do this and I want to do that, and I'm listening to a training as I'm driving because that's my university.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, okay, perpetual student here, and I'm going, okay, Lord, but I need to diagram this because I need to see it's just too much.
• 36:51
  SPEAKER_00: But what would you have me to do?
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_00: What is your priority for me?
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because all these things can be good, but is it a God thing, not a just a good thing?
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 37:00
  SPEAKER_00: You want to just do the God thing.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we have to recognize, I think in many instances, we can't see the forest for the trees.
• 37:08
  SPEAKER_00: Everything is right in front of us.
• 37:10
  unknown: Right.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then we say, because that's part of the enemy's deception, the distraction, you know?
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_00: And we say, I can't.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_00: I had this one client, she was going through a divorce.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_00: Um, at the time, her soon-to-be ex was still in the house.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_00: Her children were coming in, and she she stepped outside because she goes, I can't have a conversation in here because she didn't want them to hear.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so we're having this conversation.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_00: But I after I talked to her off the ledge, she was like, you know, I just I just can't believe all of this is going on.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_00: I could hear birds chirping behind her.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_00: I said, wait a minute, you're not paying attention.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_00: God is singing over you in the midst of this.
• 37:53
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and it was so loud because I could hear it because I didn't, you know, I wasn't in the midst of this emotional turmoil that was going on.
• 38:02
  SPEAKER_00: But it takes other people sometimes to remind us to be present with God to say, okay, Lord, what would you have for me to do?
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, Lord, this is working out for my good.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I didn't realize that that was gonna be the better.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_00: You pushed me because I needed to push.
• 38:20
  SPEAKER_00: If the horse is dead, dismount, okay.
• 38:23
  SPEAKER_00: But many times we're still trying to ride a dead horse, and he's like, Let me push you out of the way.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_00: You can't do this any longer.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: And it's like, what?
• 38:32
  SPEAKER_00: But we don't realize that.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we need the accountability partners, we need the truth tellers, we need those who know scripture and are willing to study with us.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: We need and we need our own time with the Lord because nothing beats you having a relationship.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: You can't borrow somebody else's, right?
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's true, you cannot do that.
• 38:55
  SPEAKER_01: And um in that scripture, um, 2 Corinthians 10, 5, I love what it says about um, well, it says exalt itself against the knowledge of God and bring it into captivity, every thought to the obedience of Christ.
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I think a lot of people like when I when I talk about the scripture, um, two things for me is if if you take it, if you're not sure about it, take it to the word of God and see if it lines up.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: Line it up.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_01: Is it lining up or is it a little crooked?
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_01: Is it a little you know, left, middle, right, whatever, you know.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like, where is it?
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, God doesn't shift.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: We shift.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: We're you know, we're the ones who who try to, you know, finagle our way through life because the enemy is good at, you know, you know, you know, pushing us and shoving us, and we're like, how are we gonna get through this?
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: And and sometimes we're just barely making it.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: But the other thing I like is is through our obedience to Christ.
• 39:49
  SPEAKER_01: So when we think about that, a lot of times we don't self-check our own obedience in what we're doing.
• 39:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like I said, back to the responsibility.
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_01: What are we doing?
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Are we being obedient to the word of God or are we trying to create our own?
• 40:02
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes we have our own way of thinking, and God gives us an ability with the free will and a mind to think, but that's where we have to capture the thoughts.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_01: That's where those thoughts need to be captured, and they need to be cast down if they're not of God.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you can weigh and balance them.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: Does this does this measure up to God?
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_01: If you're not sure, you can do that.
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: Once you start learning it, that that reassurance God gives you.
• 40:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then the next time it comes, you're like, uh, you it can't even get near you.
• 40:30
  SPEAKER_01: You're uh your roadblock is nope, not today, Satan.
• 40:34
  SPEAKER_01: I've got I'm I've I've got you pegged, you're done.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I love that because um I was dealing with this girl that um, like I said, I was a foster parent for many years, and and she had attempted suicide on her life 13 times.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, why does she not value who she is?
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and I sat her down one time after her 13th attempt, and I said, Do you know that you don't belong to yourself, you belong to God?
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm pretty sure God isn't telling you that it's okay to take yourself out.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_01: And she was like, and she's a Christian, she didn't even think about it like that.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, Well, I didn't think about that.
• 41:10
  SPEAKER_01: I said, We belong to God, we are God's creation, we are God's children.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: That's like you and I talking about us having our children.
• 41:18
  SPEAKER_01: We love them, we don't own them.
• 41:21
  SPEAKER_01: God does.
• 41:22
  SPEAKER_01: We have we don't own anyone, only God owns us.
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember someone saying that God is your, you know, your rightful owner.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: He owns, you know, all of us, even Satan, actually.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: He even owns the devil.
• 41:37
  SPEAKER_01: So um, it's kind of crazy when you look at it like that.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I was telling her, I said, you I don't think God would be too happy if you tried to take yourself out when He's, you know, He's gonna be the one to take you when He's ready.
• 41:48
  SPEAKER_01: Why don't you just slow down a little bit and let him, you know, you know, instead of focusing on trying to exit this world so quickly.
• 41:54
  SPEAKER_01: And and it gave her a different perspective, and and she was like, Wow, I didn't, you know, I didn't really think about that.
• 42:00
  SPEAKER_01: God like loves me so much that I'm his.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't want it to be like ownership over like powerful.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_01: I want it to be ownership like you're his child, you're a child of the king.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta you gotta live righteously the way he wants you to, so he can honor and bless you with that, you know.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: It's hard to teach that.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_00: We look at the commandments and we look at the things that we are not supposed to do as punishments, and they're not the protection.
• 42:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so when it comes to the worth and value, many instances we don't value who we are at all, especially women, you know, we're like number one, we're gonna do for everybody else, and we don't take care of ourselves, and that's another reason why I always say we I help you adjust your crown, right?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_00: You need to see yourself through the eyes of the cross.
• 42:54
  SPEAKER_00: How does God see me?
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he sees you as a precious gym.
• 43:00
  SPEAKER_00: Now I say, you know, I'm his favorite.
• 43:03
  SPEAKER_00: You can be the apple of his eye.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_00: I used to tell my students that all the time.
• 43:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually have a plaque that says, Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite.
• 43:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm his favorite.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you go, when you go in saying, God loves me and he has something for me to do, I can't take myself out.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_00: I can't allow somebody to then treat me like I'm dirt when he says that I'm a valuable jewel.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: And it takes us getting into the word to see that he has blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places, that we are seated in those heavenly places with Christ Jesus, that we before the foundation of the world, he handpicked us.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_00: He knew what he wanted us to be, he knew what he had placed in us, he knew the people that we were supposed to have divine appointments and assignments with, he knew what he had gifted us to.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: To do motivational gifts, spiritual gifts, and natural gifts.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_00: He knew all of what he placed on the inside.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_00: You are a gorgeous creature.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_00: You're supposed to not dull your shine.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: We are supposed to shine in this dark world.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_00: We're supposed to be like that lamp on a hill.
• 44:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're supposed to be.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, people come in, they have their opinions of us.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_00: Things happen to us that sometimes we dull our shine, but we have to be willing to say no.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_00: Not any longer.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to shine brightly.
• 44:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going to be salt and light in this world, like he told me to.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what we're supposed to do.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes it takes someone coming along and say, hey, I've been through the same thing because there's nothing new under the sun.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_00: But there, I could tell you stories, but there's not absolutely nothing new.
• 44:53
  SPEAKER_00: I was not the first person to lose a daughter or a child.
• 44:57
  SPEAKER_00: But I've had the privilege of being able to walk other people through in many instances.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_00: I say it's a membership that no one wants to be a part of.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's a club.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a membership that God says, I knew you had the strength to be able to handle this.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody could it, but you could.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_00: And so when we look at it from that standpoint, you say, Okay, Lord, you put value in me, I'm gonna value myself too.
• 45:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's great.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's really good.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's really, really, really good.
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: I think that um it reminds me of um a gal that I went to church with that um she has three beautiful daughters, and her youngest daughter was murdered.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_01: And um her testimony, like every time I hear it, I just weep.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: I weep.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: It just it wrenches your heart because she goes and ministers to the man that murdered her daughter.
• 45:54
  SPEAKER_01: He took her, he took, she take she took him his first Bible, and she said, I cannot um walk around with hate in my heart.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: I have to forgive you.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: And the only way she could find to forgive herself was to go on to minister God to him.
• 46:09
  SPEAKER_01: And even though, you know, he took her daughter, it was like it wrecked me.
• 46:13
  SPEAKER_01: Like when she told me told the story in church, I mean, I I mean, everybody in church was bawling.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was just it was reckoning because it was so humble, and you could just see that God lifted that burden off from her because she was doing what he wanted her to do.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, I don't exactly understand why God would take my child, but I understand what I have to do with what happened with my child being taken.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: And my job now is to go and minister to that man.
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, I don't know as a parent if I could actually do that.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I might want to go choke, choke the snot right out of him.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think I'd be able to get over that.
• 46:52
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I don't know if uh I I'm like, I'm thinking, I don't know if that's how I'd be acted.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_01: And I had to sit there and question my own behavior.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like, Lord, here's the thing unforgiveness is bondage, and that's what she was saying.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_00: That is a stronghold.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's like you carrying around this big bag that's a heavy weight, and as long as you keep carrying it, it hurts you, not them.
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_00: They've gone on with their life, but when you're willing to give that up and say, you know what, I don't hold you accountable for it any longer.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'll let the Lord take care of you from that standpoint because that's what he says.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: I give it to you now.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have the weight, and I can be joyful, I can be there for the other two.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because otherwise, I'm not there for them and I'm not there for me, right?
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_00: Now, yes, she took an extra step by witnessing them, but just the relief of I'm not going to hold you, I'm not gonna keep this in my mind.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_00: You don't have the opportunity to have rent in my mind any longer.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna let that go.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_00: That might be all somebody needs to do.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know what?
• 48:02
  SPEAKER_00: I forgive you for that.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't hold you accountable.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_00: God will give me back double for my trouble or sevenfold blessings going to come or whatever it is.
• 48:12
  SPEAKER_00: But Lord, I'm trusting, I put it now in your hands.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_00: I'm giving you the responsibility to make up the difference, not them because they can't.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_00: So we cast our cares on the Lord because He cares for us.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_00: We cast it to the one who is able to change it, the one who's able to meet our needs, the one who's able to fill the void.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_00: Because people can't.
• 48:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's crazy.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: We we try to, we try to, but we try to force, but it doesn't work.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_01: Right, you know.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: How's that working out for you?
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's funny.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: I say that all the time.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, so how's that working out for you?
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: Hmm.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes I'll ask my daughter that when, you know, you know, you know, should we have a bad day and should do something?
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: I said, So how's that working out for you?
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: She's like, Oh, mom.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Yeah, well, I just want to know how it's going for you.
• 49:02
  SPEAKER_00: Anything I could do to help you, you know, but I know I I would say to people, you know, I did not want the divorce that I had.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I fought against it because I'm like, hey, I'm an elder in the church.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: What this doesn't make any sense.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm teaching the Bible.
• 49:16
  SPEAKER_00: No way, I'm not supposed to be getting divorced.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_00: We weren't fighting, we weren't arguing.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_00: My ex-husband just did not want to be married any longer.
• 49:24
  SPEAKER_00: Didn't want the responsibilities.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's your choice.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, it puts me in a different position, but I woke up a a few years ago and recognized that I would not be doing what I'm doing now had I still been married.
• 49:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 49:42
  SPEAKER_00: So, in hindsight, I had to get divorced to be able to help the people that I'm helping.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_00: And we don't think about the end.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_00: We, you know, we can get stuck in the middle.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, woe is me, you know.
• 49:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he hasn't gone off to get married again.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_00: But, you know, a lot of women I see on say Facebook on social media, they're griping and complaining.
• 50:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's got this life and he's living the life I wanted to live.
• 50:09
  SPEAKER_00: And that, you know, he was his side chick, or you know, the person, his mistress, the one he was cheating on me with, they're living this bit this life.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm constantly focused on them, I can't live mine.
• 50:21
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, they'll be miserable, and that's where they are, but until they open their eyes to say, you know what?
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_00: What is left is more than what left me.
• 50:31
  SPEAKER_00: Because that's what I did a YouTube on that one just recently, and I say that all the time.
• 50:36
  SPEAKER_00: What I have left, that's what he had to show me, is more than what left me.
• 50:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because I can't take away any of the gifts that God gave me, he can't take away any of the natural talents that He's given me, He can't take away my mental ability, any of my intellectual property, all of that is still mine, right?
• 50:56
  SPEAKER_00: None of that left.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I have a testimony to share with others, I have an ability to now take all of my experience and package it in such a way that I can help you get through a lot better than I did.
• 51:12
  SPEAKER_00: I can shorten the time it takes you to get through it.
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_00: I can make sure you request what you need.
• 51:18
  SPEAKER_00: I can make sure that you don't have the same issues, and I can, you know, the emotional toll that it takes on you and the legal system doesn't help you with that.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_00: I can be that emotional support with you as you're going through.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can do those things because I've been through it.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 51:37
  SPEAKER_00: That's why I talk about the crisis over the credentials.
• 51:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because just because I went to school and I love degrees, believe me, I'm the perpetual student.
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_00: Both my parents were teachers.
• 51:48
  SPEAKER_00: Get the degree.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna tell you get the degree, get the certification.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_00: You you know, that says something that says that you took the time to research and study and learn.
• 51:58
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 51:59
  SPEAKER_00: But just because I read a book on evangelism doesn't mean I can witness.
• 52:03
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_00: So I gotta get out there and do it.
• 52:07
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 52:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, same with prayer, you know.
• 52:11
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I remember going to um I was at the homeless camp, and uh a gal came up, and I was good at serving the food and cooking the food and setting up the line and you know, doing all that.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_01: And um the pastor and his wife, and um, I served with them for you know a while, and um my pastor's wife said, Hey, get over here and help me pray over these people.
• 52:32
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Are you talking to me?
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, are you talking to me?
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was like, No, I'm fixing the food, you know, like I, you know, I didn't feel comfortable.
• 52:40
  SPEAKER_01: And so I thought, okay, well, I need to be obedient.
• 52:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I was like, you know what?
• 52:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna, you know, God was like, You better be obedient.
• 52:46
  SPEAKER_01: You better get over there.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_01: You don't tell people no, you know.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, oh my goodness, you know, you're here to serve, even if it's prayer.
• 52:52
  SPEAKER_01: But I hadn't been asked to do that before.
• 52:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, okay, so I get over there and I'm praying, and a friend of mine walks up and she's like, I um I wanted to have you pray for me.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, you might want to wait for Tasha.
• 53:03
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, you might want to wait for her.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: And she's like, No, I want you to pray for me.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: And then she turned around and she prayed for me because she could tell I was so nervous.
• 53:10
  SPEAKER_01: She laid hands on me and started praying over me.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then it was funny when I got done, and when she got done, I said, So what did you need prayer for anyway?
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_01: And she told me, and it was something really silly.
• 53:19
  SPEAKER_01: I go, Oh, I can pray for that, you know.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_01: So, and like God gave me something easy to pray over, and we started laughing about it, and I was thinking about how ridiculous the enemy is trying to make me feel that I couldn't I couldn't pray with someone because I didn't feel like I was called or equipped enough to do it.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: Such a lie from the enemy.
• 53:37
  SPEAKER_01: And after that, you couldn't stop me from praying after that.
• 53:41
  SPEAKER_01: That literally opened up the threshold, and I was like, I'm not gonna let the enemy have a foothold in me or around me or on me again when it comes to praying for someone.
• 53:49
  SPEAKER_01: If somebody says, pray for me, I'm gonna pray for them, no matter what it is, you know, or if someone says, Hey, I need you to go help with in that group with prayer, I'm gonna be right there praying.
• 53:57
  SPEAKER_01: Because the enemy literally tried to take me down and just like so quickly, he did it so fast.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I I just couldn't believe how ridiculous I felt in that moment.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like why would I be so afraid to do something like that?
• 54:11
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I pray all the time, you know.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_01: So it was just so it was so crazy that you know we we get stuck in those moments where we think we're not equipped, but God has already equipped us.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: We're we are we're fully equipped, you know.
• 54:25
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, the Bible says to go out and preach the gospel.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_01: People will be like, I don't even know what a gospel is.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, well, that's why you need to start in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
• 54:33
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let's start in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
• 54:35
  SPEAKER_01: And and and let me have you uh read the book of Proverbs, because you're gonna get a lot of wisdom there, you know.
• 54:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I just kind of shoot them a little bit around the Bible a little bit to get them started, and for people that are kind of new Christians or whatever, and they're like, I have no idea what I'm doing, you know.
• 54:49
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, Well, I'm you know, I don't always know what I'm doing either.
• 54:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just, you know, I just know God has called me.
• 54:54
  SPEAKER_01: And um, he called me out of the pit is what he did, because I was in a really dark pit.
• 54:59
  SPEAKER_01: And the further I climbed out, the more I could hear God actually calling.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_01: And so I just I'm thankful for that because that darkness, you know, could just literally take you out.
• 55:10
  SPEAKER_01: And um, God has so much more for us.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_01: He he really does.
• 55:14
  SPEAKER_01: And getting over that, sharing that, and it realizing that we have so much value.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's why we like you said, we don't we don't let people talk down.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_01: You don't talk down to me.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_01: You don't talk down to me.
• 55:26
  SPEAKER_01: You can talk to me anytime you want.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_01: Don't talk down to me.
• 55:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I just think it's so disrespectful when people do that, you know.
• 55:34
  SPEAKER_01: I feel and I feel when they put up with it, I'm just like, oh, should I speak up?
• 55:38
  SPEAKER_01: Because this isn't my conversation, but I'm out to say something.
• 55:41
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, Lord, you better control me right now.
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you ever feel that way.
• 55:46
  SPEAKER_00: Usually now when I meet women, the first thing I always say is hello, beautiful.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_00: One, because we don't hear it enough, but two, it puts you in the right frame of mind to say, wait a minute, I am beautiful.
• 55:58
  SPEAKER_00: Right, beautifully made, you know, and so it lifts your spirit, you know, and often I'll wear a crown.
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_00: Yay, put on a tiara, you know.
• 56:08
  SPEAKER_00: When I say adjust your crown, really adjust it and say, Okay, wait a minute, it's a little crooked today.
• 56:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then we also need to do it for somebody else.
• 56:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because you never know what they've gone through.
• 56:18
  SPEAKER_00: There's a meme that I post every now and then.
• 56:21
  SPEAKER_00: I probably need to do it again since I'm being reminded of it, where they've gone through abuse, they've gone through depression, they've gone through the suicidal ideation, all of those things, and we need to put the crown back on their head and say, You are a daughter, you are valuable, you are important, you've got something to say, and we need to hear your voice.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_00: Right, you need to know how good you are, that God created you, and everything that He creates is good, right?
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, God don't make mistakes, might have gotten dirty along the way, but let's clean you back up, right?
• 56:56
  SPEAKER_00: First John 1 and 9 is still in the Bible.
• 56:58
  SPEAKER_00: Last I checked.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's right.
• 57:01
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, he doesn't make any mistakes, thank God, right?
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and it's so sad because you know, you hear people say, Oh, I'm just a mistake.
• 57:09
  SPEAKER_01: No, you're never a mistake.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_01: You'll never be a mistake, you know.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_00: It might not have been planned by your parents, but you're not a mistake.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_00: He knew you were coming, right?
• 57:19
  SPEAKER_00: He knew what was going to happen, and he's got a purpose and a plan for each and every one of us.
• 57:24
  SPEAKER_00: And we need to learn to walk in it.
• 57:25
  SPEAKER_00: I think unfortunately, and that's why I'm the destiny designer.
• 57:29
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, too often we don't, we're not intentional about our destiny.
• 57:35
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I can say I wasn't.
• 57:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was taking care of everybody else.
• 57:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was doing what you know the family wanted.
• 57:42
  SPEAKER_00: Family was number one or number two for me.
• 57:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, God was number one, but family was my priority.
• 57:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I did that, and I woke up and I said, Well, what do I like to do?
• 57:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I tell the story.
• 57:53
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I don't like scrambled eggs.
• 57:56
  SPEAKER_00: I made them for so long for everybody else, but I like mine fried hard, yoke broken, right?
• 58:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, no money, nothing.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_00: But you have to get back to who did God create you and what preferences.
• 58:08
  SPEAKER_00: A preference is different than hey, you're not supposed to.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_00: There are plenty commandments in the Bible, right?
• 58:14
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like, okay, let me again line it up with scripture.
• 58:19
  SPEAKER_00: Am I okay here?
• 58:20
  SPEAKER_00: If I'm okay and I like to dance or twirl around in a tutu, I can twirl around in a tutu.
• 58:27
  SPEAKER_00: He says, dance before the Lord, right?
• 58:29
  SPEAKER_02: Be joyful.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 58:31
  SPEAKER_00: But right, but if somebody comes and says, Oh, you shouldn't be wearing that, you need to wear you can't wear pants, or that's a preference.
• 58:39
  SPEAKER_00: That's not scripture.
• 58:41
  SPEAKER_00: So we need to know what the word says, but we also need to recognize that whatever it is, even if we make a mistake, we can always repent, turn around, and do it the way God will want us.
• 58:55
  SPEAKER_00: Go back to that penthouse, you know, go back to the top and say, okay, Lord, help me now get back on the right track.
• 59:04
  SPEAKER_00: And He will.
• 59:06
  SPEAKER_00: He will also.
• 59:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I have a question for you, real quick.
• 59:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, being that you are a life coach like myself, um, did you ever seek out coaching yourself?
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 59:17
  SPEAKER_00: Actually, I have an executive, I'm an executive coach now, but I have an executive coach for me in going through because I said I I had a lot of things that occurred in my life.
• 59:27
  SPEAKER_00: And in recently, when I lost my mom, and I, you know, I was doing the probate, I was taking care, I had gone to the hospital with her before she passed away.
• 59:36
  SPEAKER_00: I had so much on my plate.
• 59:37
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I need to do something for me.
• 59:40
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, a lot of times people say every coach needs a coach.
• 59:43
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I think at different points in time you do.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not saying that you're gonna need a coach forever, but I did the personal development for me, and it has opened my eyes.
• 59:54
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that my my um coach um had, and she's a well-known coach, she wrote a lot of books on prayer and everything else, commanding your morning, the whole nine yards.
• 1:00:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we had to do a 20-year life plan as well as a hundred bucket list.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_00: What do you want to accomplish in life?
• 1:00:11
  SPEAKER_00: And you sat with the Lord to say, what are you planning for me to accomplish?
• 1:00:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it doesn't matter how old you are, I'm in my 60s.
• 1:00:19
  SPEAKER_00: 20 years from now, most people are thinking, Oh, what am I gonna be doing?
• 1:00:22
  SPEAKER_00: No, I've got a 20-year plan to say this is what I'm planning on doing.
• 1:00:27
  SPEAKER_00: And the point of the matter is this start working on it, be intentional about it, and don't let life just happen and you just drift through life.
• 1:00:37
  SPEAKER_00: No, there is a purpose for your life.
• 1:00:41
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes we have to architect it, sometimes we have to engineer it, sometimes we reverse engineer it so that we get to where God wants us to be.
• 1:00:50
  SPEAKER_00: But you gotta know that there is a plan.
• 1:00:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's not just you're gonna show up and oh ho hum, today's gonna go by.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_00: Who am I supposed to be meeting?
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_00: Who what am I supposed to say to them?
• 1:01:02
  SPEAKER_00: How am I supposed to help?
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: We started our conversation uh even before getting on the podcast, and I'm like downloading all this information.
• 1:01:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know I didn't know what it was supposed to be, but that's what God had for me to do today, right?
• 1:01:17
  SPEAKER_00: I pray we're blessed by it, you know.
• 1:01:19
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like whatever God wants me to say, I'm gonna say, I don't hold back anything.
• 1:01:24
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 1:01:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because even if I share it with you, it's not taking away anything from me.
• 1:01:29
  SPEAKER_00: Right, right.
• 1:01:31
  SPEAKER_00: I do the same thing.
• 1:01:33
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, we serve another we don't have a scarcity mindset.
• 1:01:36
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, if I I hold on to this, then you no, God says I can give you more of where that came from.
• 1:01:43
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_01: He gave it to us to begin with.
• 1:01:47
  SPEAKER_01: So exactly.
• 1:01:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I I love that because I think as as coaches that um, you know, I I had a coach too before I actually became a coach, and um it really, you know, helped me through.
• 1:02:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes we need a coach to help us because we get we get stuck um with our blinders on or stuck inside the box, and we need someone from the outside to see it.
• 1:02:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily your best friend or you know, your daughter, or your mother, or you know, um a loved one or whatever, but someone on on the outside looking in to say, Hey, I I see this, or you know, that and when you share with them, they can give you an honest reason, you know, an honest opinion.
• 1:02:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I think it was really helpful when um when I sought out coaching, and I I felt like um I gained a lot from it.
• 1:02:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah and I still have coaching.
• 1:02:37
  SPEAKER_01: I have two coaches right now, but for different things, you know, like you said, not not everything is not every coach is for everything.
• 1:02:44
  SPEAKER_01: But um, that's why I have a couple of them.
• 1:02:46
  SPEAKER_01: But I I think it's it I just wanted to share that because you know both of us are coaches and and you're a wonderful coach.
• 1:02:51
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I think that um, you know, I want our listeners to know, you know, that they can get a hold of you and check out your website and get to know who you are.
• 1:03:02
  SPEAKER_01: I do have one question before we have to start wrapping up.
• 1:03:05
  SPEAKER_01: And uh I I'm curious to see what you're gonna say.
• 1:03:08
  SPEAKER_01: What legacy do you hope your story leaves for others struggling with similar battles?
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_00: Who I'm big on legacy, number one.
• 1:03:18
  SPEAKER_01: I knew it.
• 1:03:19
  SPEAKER_00: I had a feeling I knew this was your question.
• 1:03:21
  SPEAKER_00: I am I am really big on legacy.
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_00: One, uh, I'm big on legacy from the standpoint that we need to have we need to know our identity in Christ.
• 1:03:30
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I want people to know, that they can't adjust their crowns at any particular time.
• 1:03:35
  SPEAKER_00: But the Bible says that a good man or woman leaves an inheritance for their children's children.
• 1:03:40
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to just be money, it can be a relationship with the Lord, it can be a business, it can be a whole lot of things.
• 1:03:48
  SPEAKER_00: We want to leave all of that.
• 1:03:50
  SPEAKER_00: I want someone to know from my story that you can overcome, that it's not over, that whatever life is things that are happening in your life is coming for your good, and God's got you in the middle of all of it.
• 1:04:07
  SPEAKER_00: So don't give up, don't give in, seek out assistance where needed, but go to the word of God, number one.
• 1:04:15
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't understand it, go to somebody who will expound it for you.
• 1:04:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you need.
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_00: I talk about blind spots too.
• 1:04:24
  SPEAKER_00: You need a community of people that are going to be able to see what you cannot, right?
• 1:04:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 1:04:32
  SPEAKER_00: And so when you talk about that, it reminded me I moved from Tampa to Palm Coast, and I have a house also in Fort Lauderdale.
• 1:04:41
  SPEAKER_00: But I was checking out the house in Tampa, and I actually did a whole series on building a faith-based business one room at a time.
• 1:04:48
  SPEAKER_00: And it started in that garage.
• 1:04:50
  SPEAKER_00: It got off track because I didn't see that.
• 1:04:53
  SPEAKER_00: I put a ladder up and it left it there.
• 1:04:55
  SPEAKER_00: And so when I opened the garage, now it's off track and the the garage is falling in, and I'm going, oh my, a community would have seen that.
• 1:05:04
  SPEAKER_00: The Bible tells us in the multitude of counselors, there is safety.
• 1:05:08
  SPEAKER_00: Coaching can be that.
• 1:05:10
  SPEAKER_00: If it's not a counselor, there's a difference between a counselor and a coach.
• 1:05:13
  SPEAKER_00: I know the difference because I do both.
• 1:05:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, but there is a difference.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_00: You need somebody that's gonna see what you can't, that will walk through, be your battle buddy through whatever you're going through, because I do believe we're better together.
• 1:05:28
  SPEAKER_00: So on the other end, I believe the crisis is there, not only for you to overcome and to see what strengths you have that you did not know that you had, but it's also there for someone else to learn from so that you can help them.
• 1:05:43
  SPEAKER_00: And that's what I hope my testimony does is help as many people as possible.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I think you have a wonderful testimony.
• 1:05:50
  SPEAKER_01: I think it's great.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_01: And um, with going into closing, I just I I just am so excited that I can't even believe I was so excited when you said you would come on.
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yay, I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't wait.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, what a blessing you have been.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that you've been a blessing for all of our listeners, and I know that they're gonna walk away refreshed and blessed, and um, you know, that's kind of you know, that's our goal.
• 1:06:13
  SPEAKER_01: We want them to feel that way, but um I also am going to make sure that I put all of your information in the notes so that they can get a hold of you if they want want to reach out, get some coaching, um, read some of your books.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that on your website, um, Sean Taehaynes.com, I believe it is, right?
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_01: Is that correct?
• 1:06:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, good.
• 1:06:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you also you also have some free free books on there, and I can't, I mean, I'm some of them I already want.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, I want a couple of those too, but um, yeah, you have a lot on your website that just you have so much to offer, and it's so amazing how you you have done so much to help other people, and it just shows you shine like that.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_01: You just it's radiant, and I love that.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_01: I love that you're a speaker, you're not afraid to get up and and talk.
• 1:07:01
  SPEAKER_01: Um, you're a coach, you're an uh best-selling author.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_01: Seven books.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's crazy.
• 1:07:07
  SPEAKER_01: That's really that's really crazy.
• 1:07:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's awesome.
• 1:07:09
  SPEAKER_01: Um, and if it if anybody on here listening, that if you want financial help, um spiritual help, yeah, you know, Dr.
• 1:07:19
  SPEAKER_01: Shantae, she's got all of it.
• 1:07:20
  SPEAKER_01: She's got the ins and outs, and and I think that you know she's very equipped.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_01: God has definitely equipped her with uh a brilliant mind.
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_01: And she has a lot of great aspects when it comes to uh biblical principles, um, whether it's financial or relationship related, divorce, um any of those areas I think would be great.
• 1:07:41
  SPEAKER_01: So you guys can reach out to Dr.
• 1:07:43
  SPEAKER_01: Shantae.
• 1:07:44
  SPEAKER_01: But in closing today, I just want to say what a great episode today's been.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:07:49
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:07:50
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for having me.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_00: I appreciate it, and I appreciate what you're doing.
• 1:07:54
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, all the testimonies, like you said, it's a refreshing and you get an opportunity to refresh those that are listening.
• 1:08:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I will just encourage, if you have been refreshed by this, make sure you share it with somebody else so that they can also be refreshed.
• 1:08:10
  SPEAKER_00: We all know somebody who's going through, you know how you hear a sermon and you're like, I wish such and such was here to hear this.
• 1:08:16
  SPEAKER_00: More from a condemnation standpoint.
• 1:08:18
  SPEAKER_00: But we don't want to do that.
• 1:08:19
  SPEAKER_00: We want to say, my sister or my brother needs to hear this to remind them not to give up on themselves, not to commit suicide.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um, that if they've lost a child, they can get through it.
• 1:08:32
  SPEAKER_00: There are other people who have gone through it, that you are stronger than you even absolutely know.
• 1:08:37
  SPEAKER_00: And God still has a great plan for you.
• 1:08:39
  SPEAKER_00: So if you know someone or two or three people that you can think of, share the message.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't take much to share.
• 1:08:50
  SPEAKER_00: It doesn't, it doesn't cost you anything to do that, but share the message and go get the assistance that you need, but make sure others get the assistance that they need to.
• 1:09:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, that's really good.
• 1:09:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 1:09:02
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for that.
• 1:09:03
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I do want to um close out, close us out in prayer.
• 1:09:07
  SPEAKER_01: And um, would do you mind, do you feel like praying?
• 1:09:10
  SPEAKER_01: Would you feel like praying?
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_01: Sure.
• 1:09:11
  SPEAKER_01: I would love to have you.
• 1:09:13
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 1:09:14
  SPEAKER_00: I would love to have you pray.
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_00: Most gracious and heavenly father, God, we thank you for the time that we get to spend together.
• 1:09:20
  SPEAKER_00: You remind us that where two or three are gathered, you're right there in the midst, and we feel your presence today.
• 1:09:26
  SPEAKER_00: We feel your presence because somebody needed to know how much you love them and that you are always looking out and you've always got a great plan.
• 1:09:35
  SPEAKER_00: But God, we also continue to always ask for your wisdom, your knowledge, and your understanding.
• 1:09:40
  SPEAKER_00: Your wisdom is in your word, but it also comes through people.
• 1:09:44
  SPEAKER_00: The knowledge that you have about our individual lives as well as what we're going through and what we're getting ready to go to.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_00: God, you've already given somebody the ability to say they've been through it.
• 1:09:55
  SPEAKER_00: So help us to testify appropriately to that.
• 1:09:58
  SPEAKER_00: And Lord, even in all of that, in the midst of it, we truly stand in tippy-toe anticipation of what you're about to do in the lives of those that are listening and those that are sharing.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_00: And we thank you in advance for that.
• 1:10:12
  SPEAKER_00: It truly is in Jesus' name that we do pray and give you thanks.
• 1:10:16
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 1:10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much for that prayer.
• 1:10:18
  SPEAKER_01: And for all of our listeners, thank you for being here today.
• 1:10:21
  SPEAKER_01: And um, if you need prayer for anything, you can also go to crushingstrong.com and there's a place on there for a prayer request if you want to pray.
• 1:10:30
  SPEAKER_01: Just fill out that information, put in a note.
• 1:10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Um, if you want information um from Dr.
• 1:10:35
  SPEAKER_01: Shantae Hayes, go to her website, Shantae Hayes.com, pretty easy.
• 1:10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Uh put that in the show notes for you so you can reach out to her.
• 1:10:43
  SPEAKER_01: And um, I just hope that you all have an amazing and blessed day.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I just appreciate everyone for being here, and I'm just so thankful.
• 1:10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Thankful for God, and um, I just love everything He's doing.
• 1:10:53
  SPEAKER_01: And um He there's only one way.
• 1:10:55
  SPEAKER_01: There's only one way, guys.
• 1:10:57
  SPEAKER_01: That's that's that's Jesus Christ.
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_01: That's it.
• 1:10:59
  SPEAKER_01: That's you know, He He is our rock and our stone, and and we're gonna overcome and crush those strongholds through through Jesus Christ.
• 1:11:06
  SPEAKER_01: So I thank you all for being here.
• 1:11:07
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you all have a blessed day.
• 1:11:09
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, and and take care.