Latest / Andy Stanley Sermons / Andy Stanley - Guardrails, Part 1 Direct and Protect
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: If you've been around for a while, you'll know that
- 0:02Speaker 1: about nine years ago that we did a series called Guardrails.
- 0:05Speaker 1: So today, we're actually beginning, or depending on how long
- 0:09Speaker 1: you've been around, re-beginning this incredible, incredible series, Guardrails. Now,
- 0:13Speaker 1: we all know what a guardrail is. A guardrail, the
- 0:15Speaker 1: official definition of a guardrail It's a system designed to
- 0:19Speaker 1: keep vehicles from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas. It's
- 0:23Speaker 1: a system designed to keep vehicles from straying into dangerous
- 0:27Speaker 1: or off-limit areas. You generally find guardrails in three areas. Bridges, medians,
- 0:32Speaker 1: and curves. Bridges to keep us from going off the
- 0:36Speaker 1: edge of the bridge into the abyss. Medians to protect
- 0:39Speaker 1: us from oncoming traffic or to protect the oncoming traffic from...
- 0:43Speaker 1: from us, and curves because there are oftentimes unexpected changes
- 0:47Speaker 1: in the road. Guardrails, as you probably know, in fact,
- 0:51Speaker 1: as you do know, maybe you haven't thought of it
- 0:52Speaker 1: in these terms, guardrails accomplish two things in particular. Guardrails
- 0:56Speaker 1: direct us and they protect us. They direct us and
- 0:59Speaker 1: they protect us. And the other thing that's going to
- 1:01Speaker 1: be important for our discussion in these next few weeks
- 1:03Speaker 1: as we talk about guardrails is this, that guardrails are
- 1:06Speaker 1: not placed in the danger zone. Guardrails are always placed
- 1:11Speaker 1: in the safety zone. They're always placed just a few
- 1:15Speaker 1: feet away from what's dangerous in the safety zone. So
- 1:18Speaker 1: if there were no guardrails and you were driving on
- 1:20Speaker 1: a bridge, you could actually drive closer to the edge,
- 1:23Speaker 1: but we don't because there's a guardrail there to protect us.
- 1:27Speaker 1: And even though it kind of takes up some safe space,
- 1:30Speaker 1: no one argues, no one argues with the logic, no
- 1:32Speaker 1: one argues with the logic of placing a guardrail inside
- 1:36Speaker 1: the safe zone. The other thing about guardrails, and maybe
- 1:39Speaker 1: you've experienced this, is that guardrails are designed to minimize damage,
- 1:43Speaker 1: to minimize damage. The damage done when you hit a guardrail,
- 1:47Speaker 1: the damage done when you hit a guardrail, as you know,
- 1:48Speaker 1: maybe from personal experience, is minor by comparison to the
- 1:52Speaker 1: damage that would have been accomplished if there had been
- 1:55Speaker 1: no guardrail. guardrail. So why are we talking about guardrails?
- 1:59Speaker 1: The reason we're going to talk about guardrails and the
- 2:01Speaker 1: reason we entitled this message series guardrails is that the highway,
- 2:06Speaker 1: the highway, the roadways, the byways, the highway is not
- 2:09Speaker 1: the only place we need guardrails. In fact, if we
- 2:14Speaker 1: were perfectly honest and if we had time to go
- 2:16Speaker 1: around the room and everybody could share a story, we
- 2:18Speaker 1: The truth is, most of us, maybe all of us,
- 2:20Speaker 1: but most of us for sure, would agree that our
- 2:24Speaker 1: greatest regrets, our greatest regrets would have been avoided and
- 2:28Speaker 1: could have been avoided if we had had some guardrails
- 2:31Speaker 1: in our lives, if we had financial guardrails, if we'd
- 2:33Speaker 1: had some moral guardrails, if we'd had some relational guardrails.
- 2:36Speaker 1: Maybe even if you'd had some professional guardrails. Which means,
- 2:40Speaker 1: and the reason we're talking about this, is that future
- 2:43Speaker 1: regrets can be avoided if you are willing and if
- 2:46Speaker 1: I'm willing to establish some personal guardrails now. Now, the challenge,
- 2:51Speaker 1: and we'll talk about this for the next few weeks,
- 2:53Speaker 1: the challenge is culture doesn't really encourage guardrails. In fact,
- 2:57Speaker 1: culture doesn't really encourage any kind of rules or any
- 3:00Speaker 1: kind of firm guidelines at all. Culture is perfectly content
- 3:04Speaker 1: with painted lines. some suggestions, some warnings. But culture doesn't
- 3:10Speaker 1: like guardrails. And when you begin to establish guardrails, and
- 3:13Speaker 1: when people find out about your guardrails, even people who
- 3:15Speaker 1: are close to you and love you, they're not going
- 3:17Speaker 1: to necessarily encourage you. Because again, we live in a
- 3:20Speaker 1: culture that has gray lines and doesn't encourage guardrails. In
- 3:23Speaker 1: our culture, we hear things like this, drink responsibly, which
- 3:27Speaker 1: is really good news, except what does it mean? And
- 3:31Speaker 1: if you drink responsibly, if you drink it all at
- 3:33Speaker 1: some point, you become so inebriated, you're not really a
- 3:36Speaker 1: responsible person. So I'm not sure responsible drinkers know when
- 3:39Speaker 1: they're being irresponsible, and I'm not sure. But it's a
- 3:41Speaker 1: great guideline, but it's not really a guardrail. Or how
- 3:44Speaker 1: about this one? We tell teenagers, tell college students, but
- 3:47Speaker 1: teenagers in particular when it comes to sex, wait until
- 3:51Speaker 1: you're ready. Now, my theory is a woman came up
- 3:56Speaker 1: with that suggestion, and that's not a knock on women,
- 3:59Speaker 1: but I think that might be, maybe it's good advice
- 4:02Speaker 1: for women, but if you were to say to a
- 4:04Speaker 1: teenage boy, wait until you're ready, he would just look
- 4:09Speaker 1: at you like, I was born ready. Ready. Now, I'm
- 4:14Speaker 1: not knocking that as advice. I don't think that's, you know,
- 4:17Speaker 1: I'm not saying that's terrible advice. I'm just saying that's
- 4:20Speaker 1: a painted line. That's not a guardrail. Wait until you're ready.
- 4:24Speaker 1: Or here's the one we hear all the time. Consolidate
- 4:26Speaker 1: your debts. Consolidate your debts. Consolidate your debts. That may
- 4:29Speaker 1: not be bad advice either. But that's not necessarily a
- 4:32Speaker 1: great financial standard. Or if we kind of go to
- 4:35Speaker 1: the bottom of the bucket, you know, listen to your heart.
- 4:38Speaker 1: What is your heart telling you? That's... I just think
- 4:41Speaker 1: that's like maybe the worst advice anyone's ever given anyone.
- 4:45Speaker 1: But again, in our culture, there is resistance to rules.
- 4:49Speaker 1: I understand that because nobody wants to be told no.
- 4:51Speaker 1: I don't want to be told no. You don't want
- 4:52Speaker 1: to be told no. So culture disses guardrails. In other words,
- 4:56Speaker 1: you're not going to get applause. You're not going to
- 4:58Speaker 1: become the most popular person in the office or maybe
- 5:01Speaker 1: even your family when you establish guardrails. Culture doesn't encourage guardrails,
- 5:05Speaker 1: but at the same time, culture shames us and mocks
- 5:08Speaker 1: us when we end up in a ditch. financially, right,
- 5:11Speaker 1: or morally, or in our marriage. Now, here's a great
- 5:15Speaker 1: and controversial illustration of what I'm talking about. For years,
- 5:19Speaker 1: it has been referred to as the Billy Graham rule,
- 5:21Speaker 1: the Billy Graham rule. Back in the 60s, it became
- 5:24Speaker 1: known that Billy Graham had a rule, so it became
- 5:27Speaker 1: the Billy Graham rule, and the Billy Graham rule, his
- 5:28Speaker 1: rule was that he would not ride in a car
- 5:31Speaker 1: alone with a woman have a meal alone with a
- 5:34Speaker 1: woman other than his wife, and would not meet with
- 5:39Speaker 1: a woman in a place where people didn't know they
- 5:41Speaker 1: were meeting together or with a closed door. That was
- 5:43Speaker 1: his rule, and so it became known as the Billy
- 5:44Speaker 1: Graham rule. Then it became known as the Mike Pence
- 5:47Speaker 1: rule because our vice president, it was discovered that he
- 5:50Speaker 1: applied the same rule. And when people found out about this,
- 5:54Speaker 1: people kind of went berserk. And there's reasons why, because
- 5:58Speaker 1: this rule, as we're going to talk about in a
- 5:59Speaker 1: few weeks, certainly has been misapplied. But the truth is,
- 6:03Speaker 1: many married men and many married women have applied this
- 6:09Speaker 1: rule for years. And yet, when it became known that
- 6:12Speaker 1: our vice president didn't travel alone, meet privately with, or
- 6:17Speaker 1: eat alone with a woman other than his wife or
- 6:18Speaker 1: family members, he was mocked and ridiculed. But at the
- 6:22Speaker 1: same time, the people that would mock and ridicule someone
- 6:24Speaker 1: with that standard, what did they say about a man
- 6:26Speaker 1: who cheats on his wife? Or about a woman who
- 6:29Speaker 1: runs off with her yoga instructor? What did they say
- 6:31Speaker 1: about these people? We say, well, we won't even say
- 6:34Speaker 1: in church what the kinds of words that are used.
- 6:36Speaker 1: I mean, these are just disgusting people and she's a
- 6:38Speaker 1: home wrecker. Now, during this controversy with our vice president,
- 6:42Speaker 1: the Harvard Business Review published a really good article. So
- 6:45Speaker 1: I'm not knocking this article at all. It was a
- 6:47Speaker 1: really fascinating article. And the name of the article was
- 6:50Speaker 1: Men Shouldn't Refuse. I mean, they just put it right
- 6:53Speaker 1: out there. The article title, Men Shouldn't Refuse to Be
- 6:56Speaker 1: Alone with Female Colleagues. I wonder what that's about. Okay,
- 6:59Speaker 1: that's the title of the article, Men Shouldn't Refuse to
- 7:01Speaker 1: Be Alone with Female Colleagues. And the point of the
- 7:03Speaker 1: article was that when this rule is applied, according to
- 7:06Speaker 1: the authors, that it hurts women in the workplace, it
- 7:10Speaker 1: minimizes their importance, it reduces their potential for moving up
- 7:14Speaker 1: in a company. And the article made some really, really,
- 7:16Speaker 1: really good points. But as the authors went on and
- 7:19Speaker 1: on and on, kind of tearing apart and ridiculing this
- 7:21Speaker 1: whole idea of the Billy Graham rule, they must have realized, okay,
- 7:25Speaker 1: there's a reason. There's a reason that, you know, logical,
- 7:29Speaker 1: rational people have established this rule. And the reason is,
- 7:32Speaker 1: there's a lot of stuff going on in the workplace
- 7:34Speaker 1: that isn't healthy between men and women. And when men
- 7:36Speaker 1: and women travel together, things happen. And when men and
- 7:39Speaker 1: women eat together, you know, married men and women eating
- 7:43Speaker 1: with other people's husbands or wives and drinking with other
- 7:46Speaker 1: people's husbands or wives, things happen. No one can deny
- 7:49Speaker 1: the fact that the workplace, because of the goals, the
- 7:51Speaker 1: late nights, all the things that happen, the camaraderie in
- 7:54Speaker 1: the workplace, that the workplace is, you know, fertile soil
- 7:57Speaker 1: for some bad things to happen between people who should
- 8:00Speaker 1: not allow bad things to happen. There's plenty of stories
- 8:03Speaker 1: to substantiate the need possibly for a rule. So at
- 8:07Speaker 1: the end of this article, HBR, the authors of this
- 8:10Speaker 1: article in Harvard Business Review, they make the following suggestions.
- 8:15Speaker 1: And I'm not knocking this article. The article makes some
- 8:17Speaker 1: great points. But my point in showing you this is
- 8:20Speaker 1: to say that when it comes to our culture, our
- 8:22Speaker 1: culture is not going to encourage you and encourage me
- 8:25Speaker 1: to establish guardrails. It's gray lines. It's just lines along
- 8:31Speaker 1: the side. So here's how the article concluded in terms
- 8:35Speaker 1: of what should we do in light of this dynamic
- 8:37Speaker 1: that happens in the workplace, but in light of the
- 8:39Speaker 1: fact that we shouldn't have this particular guardrail. So here's
- 8:42Speaker 1: what the authors wrote. I said, so what's an evolved
- 8:46Speaker 1: male leader to do? So this is addressing men in particular.
- 8:49Speaker 1: So I'm not leaving women out. This, the article is
- 8:51Speaker 1: addressing men. So what is an evolved male leader to do?
- 8:54Speaker 1: In the simplest terms, become what we call a thoughtful caveman. Now,
- 9:02Speaker 1: I don't mind being called an evolved caveman. It's so
- 9:05Speaker 1: interesting in culture, you dare not talk about cavewomen. In fact,
- 9:09Speaker 1: no one ever talks about cavewomen. And I think there
- 9:11Speaker 1: were cavewomen. But imagine, so we don't go there, okay?
- 9:14Speaker 1: So the advice of the article is you're going to
- 9:18Speaker 1: work with attractive women. You're going to travel with attractive women.
- 9:22Speaker 1: You're going to eat with attractive women. You know, you're
- 9:25Speaker 1: going to be... flirted with. I mean, you're going to
- 9:27Speaker 1: have all this dynamic. And so the way you handle this, men,
- 9:30Speaker 1: is you become a thoughtful caveman. Okay, that's not helpful.
- 9:35Speaker 1: But then there's another statement, okay? Here's how they conclude
- 9:37Speaker 1: the article toward the end. Healthy, mature, self-aware men understand
- 9:43Speaker 1: and accept their distinctly male neural architecture. I'm not even
- 9:50Speaker 1: sure I understand that sentence. So if this is supposed
- 9:54Speaker 1: to help me, if this is supposed to help us
- 9:57Speaker 1: in the workplace, if this is supposed to somehow create
- 10:00Speaker 1: some boundary and some healthy boundaries between men and women
- 10:03Speaker 1: in the workplace, I... Maybe, okay? But here's the real problem.
- 10:10Speaker 1: And let's just assume for a moment this is true.
- 10:12Speaker 1: And it probably is. But women, here's the problem. Let
- 10:15Speaker 1: me just ask the ladies, okay? Ladies, okay, ladies. How
- 10:19Speaker 1: many of these are there? Right? Right? Ladies, it's true, okay, ladies.
- 10:33Speaker 1: Some of you have never met one. You're not sure
- 10:37Speaker 1: they exist. In fact, you would say if anyone sees one,
- 10:40Speaker 1: capture them, bring them in, and let's study him because
- 10:45Speaker 1: it's a unicorn, okay? This is like the most unusual
- 10:49Speaker 1: thing imaginable, a healthy, mature, self-aware man. So let me
- 10:53Speaker 1: just say one more thing about this, okay? These guys
- 10:58Speaker 1: don't need guardrails, okay? But the other 99.999% of us do.
- 11:03Speaker 1: And ladies, it's that other 99% that is the reason
- 11:07Speaker 1: you need guardrails. Now, the Billy Graham rule, the Mike
- 11:22Speaker 1: Pence rule, it's a rule I've had since I was
- 11:24Speaker 1: married or even before I was married because I'd heard
- 11:27Speaker 1: about this. It's just sort of a way of life
- 11:29Speaker 1: for me. It's been this way for a long time.
- 11:31Speaker 1: This rule has been, on one hand, mischaracterized, and I
- 11:35Speaker 1: believe the HBR article actually mischaracterizes it. And it has
- 11:39Speaker 1: been misapplied where it has made it difficult in some
- 11:43Speaker 1: circumstances for women to rise up through the workforce. So
- 11:46Speaker 1: it has been both mischaracterized and misapplied. And because of that,
- 11:50Speaker 1: in just a few weeks, we're going to come back
- 11:52Speaker 1: to this very notion, this very guardrail. So if anything
- 11:56Speaker 1: that I've just said is offensive, all I ask is
- 11:59Speaker 1: that you wait a few weeks before you let me
- 12:01Speaker 1: know because we're going to come back to this. Now...
- 12:03Speaker 1: Here's the point of all that. If you opt for guardrails,
- 12:07Speaker 1: if you opt for personal guardrails, you may not be celebrated,
- 12:12Speaker 1: but I promise you will have fewer regrets. Now, this
- 12:16Speaker 1: is not a new idea. It is certainly not an
- 12:19Speaker 1: original idea. The idea behind the idea of guardrails has
- 12:22Speaker 1: been around for a long, long time. In fact, the
- 12:24Speaker 1: Hebrew Bible, what we call our Old Testament, the Hebrew
- 12:27Speaker 1: Bible talks about setting up standards and boundaries. The New
- 12:30Speaker 1: Testament talks about setting up standards and boundaries. And today
- 12:34Speaker 1: I want to take you to a passage in Paul's
- 12:36Speaker 1: letter to the Ephesians, Ephesians chapter five. It's a passage
- 12:40Speaker 1: that we've talked about before, not necessarily within this context.
- 12:44Speaker 1: The apostle Paul has just finished telling these Christians in
- 12:47Speaker 1: ancient Ephesus that there's things they should stay away from.
- 12:50Speaker 1: There's things they should do. There's things that are harmful.
- 12:52Speaker 1: It's sort of predictable, typical list of behaviors to embrace
- 12:56Speaker 1: and behaviors to be careful of. or to stay away from.
- 12:59Speaker 1: And then he says to this audience, he realizes, okay,
- 13:02Speaker 1: they're going, okay, I want to stay away from that.
- 13:04Speaker 1: I want to embrace that. I want to move toward that.
- 13:06Speaker 1: I want to move away from that. And it's like
- 13:07Speaker 1: the apostle Paul realizes, okay, I need to give my
- 13:11Speaker 1: listeners and my readers some handles. So then he goes
- 13:15Speaker 1: into how to approach or how to live in such
- 13:18Speaker 1: a way that you don't end up in a ditch
- 13:20Speaker 1: on the left or a ditch on the right as
- 13:22Speaker 1: it relates to relationships, finances, morality, friendship, you know, just
- 13:27Speaker 1: about any area of life. And here's what he says.
- 13:29Speaker 1: I want to walk you through these verses kind of slowly.
- 13:31Speaker 1: Ephesians chapter five, the apostle Paul writes this. Be very
- 13:36Speaker 1: careful then how you live. So the standard for living
- 13:41Speaker 1: for a Jesus follower in particular, but even if you're
- 13:43Speaker 1: not a Jesus follower, this is just great advice. Be
- 13:46Speaker 1: very careful then how you live. And the little Greek
- 13:48Speaker 1: word translated in this translation, live, literally means walk. So
- 13:53Speaker 1: there are other translations of the Bible that say be
- 13:56Speaker 1: very careful then how you walk. If you have a
- 14:00Speaker 1: large dog and a small yard, you understand what the
- 14:04Speaker 1: Apostle Paul is getting at here. That when you walk
- 14:08Speaker 1: out into your small yard and you had your large
- 14:11Speaker 1: dog out there, you are very careful then how you walk,
- 14:15Speaker 1: where you step. That's the idea behind this. He says,
- 14:19Speaker 1: look around. He continues, he says, be very careful then
- 14:21Speaker 1: how you live, not as unwise walk. but is wise. Now,
- 14:26Speaker 1: wisdom serves as the decision-making template. Wisdom serves as the
- 14:31Speaker 1: decision-making template in both the Jewish scripture and in the
- 14:35Speaker 1: New Testament. That both in the Old Testament and the
- 14:37Speaker 1: New Testament, we're told that we are to walk Wisely
- 14:41Speaker 1: and walking wisely our wisdom is better than simply right
- 14:43Speaker 1: and wrong. I mean, it's sometimes we're not sure what's
- 14:46Speaker 1: right We're not sure what's wrong. But when you ask
- 14:48Speaker 1: yourself the question, what is the wise thing to do?
- 14:51Speaker 1: Suddenly there's clarity the wisdom question brings clarity where the
- 14:55Speaker 1: simple is it right or is it wrong question oftentimes?
- 14:58Speaker 1: Does not the way we say it here if you've
- 14:59Speaker 1: been around is that when we think about wisdom we
- 15:01Speaker 1: ask the question in light of my past experience my
- 15:04Speaker 1: current circumstances, and my future hopes and dreams, what is
- 15:07Speaker 1: the wise thing for me to do? In light of
- 15:09Speaker 1: my past experiences, my current circumstances, and my future hopes
- 15:13Speaker 1: and dreams, not what is the right thing for me
- 15:15Speaker 1: to do, what is the wise thing for me to do?
- 15:17Speaker 1: So the apostle Paul says, be very careful how you live,
- 15:20Speaker 1: be very careful how you walk, not as unwise, but
- 15:23Speaker 1: as wise. And then he says this, making the most
- 15:27Speaker 1: Of every opportunity. Literally, this says redeeming the time. That
- 15:33Speaker 1: as you live your life, time is a limited asset.
- 15:36Speaker 1: Time is your most valuable commodity because there's a limited
- 15:40Speaker 1: amount of it and you don't know how much you have.
- 15:42Speaker 1: You know how much is in your checking account. You
- 15:44Speaker 1: do not know how much time you have left. He says,
- 15:46Speaker 1: so I want you to be very, very careful with
- 15:48Speaker 1: your time. And it reminds all of us that don't
- 15:51Speaker 1: we wish we could go back and redeem or take
- 15:53Speaker 1: back or reuse some time that we wasted. Don't we
- 15:57Speaker 1: wish we could go back and have our freshman year
- 15:59Speaker 1: over again? Don't we wish we could go back and
- 16:01Speaker 1: have that first year of marriage and have a do-over
- 16:04Speaker 1: for that first year of marriage? He says, you already
- 16:06Speaker 1: know what happens when you're not careful with your time.
- 16:08Speaker 1: So as you live, don't live as unwise, but as
- 16:11Speaker 1: wise and pay attention to how fast time flies. And
- 16:16Speaker 1: then he says this, because, be very careful then how
- 16:19Speaker 1: you live, not as unwise, but as wise, making the
- 16:20Speaker 1: most of every opportunity. Why, Paul? Because, and then he
- 16:23Speaker 1: says something kind of odd, the days are evil. Now,
- 16:27Speaker 1: this is 2,000 years ago. And he's talking to a handful,
- 16:32Speaker 1: maybe 50, maybe 100 people in Ephesus. He says, you're
- 16:36Speaker 1: living in dangerous times, so you can't just walk around
- 16:39Speaker 1: and not pay attention to what's going on. You need
- 16:41Speaker 1: to be careful how you walk because the days are evil.
- 16:44Speaker 1: You can't afford, he said, to be careless. For example,
- 16:49Speaker 1: how many of you I've ever had to take a
- 16:51Speaker 1: defensive driving class. Let me see, I'm kidding, don't raise your, no, no,
- 16:54Speaker 1: don't raise your hand. Okay, that was terrible, okay? So
- 16:56Speaker 1: it's like, no. This is, it's okay to lie, so
- 16:59Speaker 1: I'm not gonna raise my hand, of course. Now, I
- 17:01Speaker 1: actually know that a lot of you have had to
- 17:03Speaker 1: take defensive driving classes because many years ago when we
- 17:06Speaker 1: had a minivan, Sandra got pulled over for going too
- 17:09Speaker 1: fast and there were a bunch of minivans and she's
- 17:11Speaker 1: pretty sure The officer got her white minivan confused with
- 17:14Speaker 1: all the other white minivans there on that particular road.
- 17:17Speaker 1: And so she was so sure she was innocent, she
- 17:19Speaker 1: decided she was not going to pay the fine. We moved. No,
- 17:23Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. She wasn't going to pay the fine.
- 17:26Speaker 1: She decided to do the defensive driving class. And so
- 17:29Speaker 1: she gets the defensive driving class and there's, I don't know,
- 17:32Speaker 1: 40 or 50 people in this class where we live.
- 17:34Speaker 1: And the instructor had a name plate for each person
- 17:38Speaker 1: in the class facing him so he could call everybody
- 17:40Speaker 1: by name. And so as he begins the class, he
- 17:42Speaker 1: looks over and he says, Sandra Stanley. Sandra Stanley. Sandra Stanley,
- 17:47Speaker 1: and without thinking, he says out loud to the whole
- 17:50Speaker 1: defensive driving class, everyone's there because of DUIs and other
- 17:53Speaker 1: kinds of things, he says, are you the pastor's wife?
- 17:59Speaker 1: Are you that Sandra Stanley? And then he realized, and
- 18:02Speaker 1: it's too late, and she says yes, and before he
- 18:05Speaker 1: knows it, he loses control of the class, and people
- 18:08Speaker 1: start going, I go to North Point, we go to
- 18:10Speaker 1: Buckhead Church, I go to 722. Half the class went
- 18:14Speaker 1: to one of our churches, so I know that a
- 18:16Speaker 1: bunch of you have been in defensive driving class, right?
- 18:20Speaker 1: And that was just the one class. Now, the point
- 18:23Speaker 1: of bringing it up is simply this. What is defensive
- 18:27Speaker 1: driving about? It's learning to pay attention not only to
- 18:30Speaker 1: what you're doing, but what everybody else is doing as well.
- 18:33Speaker 1: And this is Paul's point. Be careful how you live
- 18:36Speaker 1: because you live in a dangerous environment. Be careful how
- 18:40Speaker 1: you live because if you are not careful, you may
- 18:42Speaker 1: end up someplace you do not want to be. What
- 18:45Speaker 1: did your parents tell you when they were teaching you
- 18:46Speaker 1: to drive or whoever taught you to drive, your uncle
- 18:48Speaker 1: or your grandfather? What did he say? He said, you
- 18:51Speaker 1: got to look out for the what? The other person,
- 18:54Speaker 1: the other guy, the other drivers. That's Paul's point, that
- 18:58Speaker 1: you live in an environment, you live in a culture
- 19:00Speaker 1: where it's not enough to simply pay attention to what
- 19:03Speaker 1: you're doing. You live in a culture to where you
- 19:05Speaker 1: have to pay attention to what other people are doing,
- 19:08Speaker 1: what other people are asking, what other people are inviting,
- 19:11Speaker 1: what other people are offering as well. Then he continues,
- 19:14Speaker 1: he says, therefore, therefore, therefore, do not be foolish. Do
- 19:20Speaker 1: not be foolish. In other words, don't approach life as
- 19:23Speaker 1: if life is all disconnected. Don't approach life as if
- 19:26Speaker 1: your past doesn't impact your future. Don't approach life as
- 19:29Speaker 1: if what happens today doesn't impact tomorrow. And then he
- 19:32Speaker 1: says something really sort of difficult to get our arms around.
- 19:36Speaker 1: He says, don't be foolish, but understand what the Lord's
- 19:39Speaker 1: will is. Now, it's a command, and in the Greek text,
- 19:42Speaker 1: this is an imperative, understand, which doesn't make any sense.
- 19:44Speaker 1: I mean, if you tell somebody, I don't understand, and
- 19:46Speaker 1: they say, understand, it's like, okay, I do now. Since
- 19:50Speaker 1: you told me to, I mean, that doesn't even make
- 19:52Speaker 1: any sense, right? So the idea here, this is so powerful.
- 19:55Speaker 1: The idea is to face up to, to acknowledge, to embrace,
- 20:00Speaker 1: to be honest with yourself. Stop deceiving yourself, the Apostle
- 20:05Speaker 1: Paul says. He says, come on, come on, come on.
- 20:06Speaker 1: You know what wisdom is. You know where you live.
- 20:09Speaker 1: You know what's going on. You know your past. You
- 20:11Speaker 1: know your propensity towards certain things. So be honest with yourself.
- 20:15Speaker 1: At least be honest with the person in the mirror.
- 20:17Speaker 1: Face up to what you know the right thing to
- 20:19Speaker 1: do is. And if you're a Christian, face up to
- 20:21Speaker 1: what God's will is for your life. In other words,
- 20:24Speaker 1: you know, he's saying, you know what you need to
- 20:27Speaker 1: do to ensure you do what you ought to do.
- 20:30Speaker 1: You know what you need to do now to ensure
- 20:32Speaker 1: that you do what you ought to do later. You
- 20:36Speaker 1: know where you're kind of dancing on the line. You
- 20:39Speaker 1: know where you're flirting with disaster. You've had a couple
- 20:42Speaker 1: of near misses. You've had a couple of close calls.
- 20:45Speaker 1: Paul's going, come on, be honest. You know, you know,
- 20:49Speaker 1: you know. You know you. Then he gives us a
- 20:55Speaker 1: one thing leads to another illustration. And this is so powerful.
- 20:58Speaker 1: And these next verses have been so misunderstood for so long.
- 21:01Speaker 1: So I'm glad we're talking about them today. You see, guardrails,
- 21:05Speaker 1: as we're gonna discover in this series, guardrails are the
- 21:09Speaker 1: one thing that keep us from another. One thing leads
- 21:12Speaker 1: to another. Guardrails are the one thing that keeps us
- 21:15Speaker 1: from the other, another thing. And wise people understand this.
- 21:18Speaker 1: So he says, let me give you an example of
- 21:20Speaker 1: what I mean by be careful how you live. Let
- 21:22Speaker 1: me give you an example of what it means to
- 21:24Speaker 1: walk in wisdom. He says, do not get drunk on wine.
- 21:30Speaker 1: This is his illustration. Now, you need to know that
- 21:32Speaker 1: in the first century, in fact, in almost all of
- 21:35Speaker 1: ancient times, that wine was actually safer than than water, okay?
- 21:40Speaker 1: Wine was safer than water. You can imagine what they
- 21:42Speaker 1: stored water in. You can imagine how long they stored it.
- 21:45Speaker 1: And they didn't understand bacteria, but they knew this. If
- 21:48Speaker 1: you drink water that had been sitting still for too long,
- 21:51Speaker 1: you got sick. In fact, sometimes you could get real sick.
- 21:55Speaker 1: Wine could make you drunk. Water could make you dead, okay?
- 21:59Speaker 1: So watered wine, or really the better way to say it,
- 22:03Speaker 1: wined water was a staple in ancient times because it
- 22:07Speaker 1: was safe. Now, water wasn't safe. Now, for us, water's safe.
- 22:10Speaker 1: It's a whole new thing. But this is a one
- 22:13Speaker 1: thing leads to another illustration. So look at how the
- 22:16Speaker 1: Apostle Paul says this. He says,' Do not get drunk
- 22:19Speaker 1: on wine, which leads to.' Because that's the point. This
- 22:22Speaker 1: is a one thing leads to another thing. This is guardrails.
- 22:24Speaker 1: Guardrails are about the one thing that keeps us from
- 22:26Speaker 1: ending up where we don't want to be. One thing
- 22:29Speaker 1: leads to another. Now, I want everybody here, if you would,
- 22:31Speaker 1: just tune back in if you tuned out for just
- 22:33Speaker 1: a second. Those of you at home, tune back in
- 22:35Speaker 1: for a second, okay? When you see this, I want
- 22:38Speaker 1: you to fill in the blank, not out loud, but
- 22:40Speaker 1: in your mind. Do not get drunk. And let's just,
- 22:42Speaker 1: if we just remove the words on wine. Do not
- 22:45Speaker 1: get drunk, which leads to, think about that. Do not
- 22:51Speaker 1: get drunk because it leads to anything come to mind?
- 22:58Speaker 1: Anyone come to mind? Do you know anybody that probably
- 23:04Speaker 1: wishes that don't get drunk was a guardrail because of
- 23:09Speaker 1: what it led to? In fact, chances are in our
- 23:12Speaker 1: audience all over the city and all over the country
- 23:14Speaker 1: and in some cases all over the world, somebody's watching,
- 23:17Speaker 1: somebody's listening. And your life, your life would be completely different.
- 23:24Speaker 1: Your life would be completely different if your mom or
- 23:27Speaker 1: your dad had stayed sober. Now think about that. Their
- 23:32Speaker 1: life would be different for sure, but your life would
- 23:36Speaker 1: be different. Now, we're not gonna spend the whole message
- 23:41Speaker 1: talking about alcohol, but just wanna make one other statement
- 23:43Speaker 1: while we're here because we don't go here very often.
- 23:46Speaker 1: If more than one person has told you you drink
- 23:48Speaker 1: too much, You do. You do. You do. Now, back
- 23:55Speaker 1: to Paul. The problem with getting drunk, I mean, it
- 23:58Speaker 1: was kind of heavy there. It got real quiet here.
- 24:02Speaker 1: in this room, okay? I don't know about everywhere else. Okay,
- 24:05Speaker 1: back to Paul. The problem within the context of this passage,
- 24:08Speaker 1: the problem with getting drunk is what it leads to.
- 24:11Speaker 1: Drunk is the guardrail. Now, I know for some of you,
- 24:15Speaker 1: it's the goal, but for the Apostle Paul, drunk is
- 24:18Speaker 1: the guardrail, and you laugh, right? And it's funny, right
- 24:21Speaker 1: up into the point that a woman gets punched. That's
- 24:23Speaker 1: not funny. Right up into the point where somebody veers
- 24:26Speaker 1: across the median. Then it's not funny. Right up to
- 24:30Speaker 1: the point that a college student realizes everybody else quit
- 24:34Speaker 1: and I can't quit. And suddenly, what was kind of
- 24:40Speaker 1: a pastime becomes a pathway for somebody. And it has
- 24:43Speaker 1: the potential to wreck and ruin their life.
- 25:08Speaker 1: And culture mocks us and laughs at us and then
- 25:12Speaker 1: disses us when they find out that we have a
- 25:14Speaker 1: drinking problem. Here's how the Apostle Paul fills in that blank.
- 25:19Speaker 1: Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to a
- 25:22Speaker 1: word we never use anymore, debauchery, which is basically primarily
- 25:25Speaker 1: sexual indulgence as a result of a lack of self-control.
- 25:29Speaker 1: Any kind of indulgence that results from a lack of
- 25:33Speaker 1: self-control or a loss of self-control. And once again, it
- 25:36Speaker 1: points back to the value and the power of what
- 25:38Speaker 1: we're talking about in this series of guardrails because guardrails
- 25:42Speaker 1: safeguard us. Guardrails safeguard us from handing over control of
- 25:46Speaker 1: our lives to someone or something else Guardrails will safeguard
- 25:49Speaker 1: you and your kids and your husband and your wife
- 25:53Speaker 1: and the people you work with will safeguard you from
- 25:55Speaker 1: handing over control of your life to someone or something else.
- 26:00Speaker 1: The apostle Paul in another place says, do not be
- 26:03Speaker 1: mastered by anything and do not be mastered by anyone.
- 26:08Speaker 1: And guardrails is a step toward ensuring that in your future,
- 26:12Speaker 1: you are not mastered by anything or anyone. And then
- 26:17Speaker 1: he says, instead, do not get drunk on wine, which
- 26:20Speaker 1: leads to debauchery. Instead, now. If you are not a
- 26:23Speaker 1: religious person, if you're not a Christian, if you're not
- 26:25Speaker 1: a Jesus follower, everything I've said so far is kind
- 26:28Speaker 1: of common sense. You may not have heard it said
- 26:29Speaker 1: in this way, but you're going, okay, I'm not really
- 26:32Speaker 1: a church person. I've never read that before. I've heard
- 26:36Speaker 1: of Paul, but okay, you got me. I feel a
- 26:38Speaker 1: little bit bad about myself. You're right, I have some regrets,
- 26:41Speaker 1: which leads to, I knew what it led to, so
- 26:43Speaker 1: I'm with you so far. Okay, but at this point,
- 26:46Speaker 1: the Apostle Paul kind of changes directions just a little bit.
- 26:49Speaker 1: And at this point in his writing, he's writing to
- 26:51Speaker 1: Christians in Ephesus, at this point, he dips into his
- 26:54Speaker 1: faith in Jesus. At this point, he begins to leverage,
- 26:58Speaker 1: just for one verse, he leverages the fact that he
- 27:01Speaker 1: truly believed that God sent Jesus into this earth, to
- 27:04Speaker 1: the earth, as his only son to die for the
- 27:07Speaker 1: sins of mankind. And the apostle Paul came to this early,
- 27:09Speaker 1: maybe seven years after the resurrection. So the Apostle Paul
- 27:13Speaker 1: believes that Jesus was who Jesus claimed to be and
- 27:15Speaker 1: that he actually rose from the dead. So now he
- 27:18Speaker 1: dips into this basic Christian teaching. And here's what he says.
- 27:22Speaker 1: He says, don't be drunk with wine, which leads to debauchery,
- 27:25Speaker 1: but instead be filled with the Spirit. And the New
- 27:30Speaker 1: Testament teaches that when a person puts their faith in Christ,
- 27:33Speaker 1: that the Holy Spirit comes to reside in them in
- 27:36Speaker 1: some mysterious way, but where you experience it is in
- 27:39Speaker 1: your conscience. So the Apostle Paul says, instead of giving
- 27:44Speaker 1: over control of your life to anything or anyone, whether
- 27:47Speaker 1: it's alcohol, Being a workaholic, finances, greed, a hobby, a person,
- 27:54Speaker 1: an affair. Instead of giving over control of your life
- 27:56Speaker 1: to anything or anyone, I want you to submit your
- 27:59Speaker 1: life to the nudging, the promptings of the Holy Spirit. Amen.
- 28:06Speaker 1: And he says, when we become believers, the Holy Spirit
- 28:09Speaker 1: moves into our conscience. Now everybody, pretty much everybody has
- 28:12Speaker 1: a conscience unless you're a sociopath and you're probably not
- 28:14Speaker 1: in church if you're a sociopath. But other than sociopaths,
- 28:17Speaker 1: pretty much everybody has a conscience. And the strangest thing happens.
- 28:19Speaker 1: I've seen this so much. Many of you, this would
- 28:21Speaker 1: be your story. When you became a Christian, isn't it true?
- 28:24Speaker 1: It's like your conscience began to be fine-tuned to a
- 28:28Speaker 1: whole different way of thinking in a whole different way.
- 28:32Speaker 1: The Holy Spirit taps on our conscience. The Holy Spirit
- 28:36Speaker 1: doesn't yell, it doesn't scream, it's not a ghost, it's
- 28:38Speaker 1: not spooky, it's not strange. It's basically what everybody experiences,
- 28:42Speaker 1: but the Holy Spirit takes it to another level. It's
- 28:45Speaker 1: a gentle nudge. You're about to pick up an answer
- 28:50Speaker 1: and there's just a uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. You're about to
- 28:53Speaker 1: hit send and there's a uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. You're about
- 28:57Speaker 1: to take a left instead of going straight and there's
- 28:59Speaker 1: just that uh-uh, uh-uh, uh-uh. That's the Holy Spirit. So
- 29:05Speaker 1: in conclusion, here's what Paul says. Be very careful then
- 29:08Speaker 1: how you live. Be very careful where you walk, where
- 29:11Speaker 1: you step, not as unwise, but as wise, making the
- 29:14Speaker 1: most of every opportunity. Why? Because the days, the culture
- 29:18Speaker 1: is not working for you. It's working against you. Therefore,
- 29:21Speaker 1: do not be foolish. Do not live as if life
- 29:23Speaker 1: is disconnected, but understand what the Lord's will is for you. Now,
- 29:29Speaker 1: for the next few weeks, we're going to come back
- 29:30Speaker 1: to this over and over and over. Come on. Nobody
- 29:33Speaker 1: plans to wreck their life any more than they plan
- 29:35Speaker 1: to wreck their car, right? Nobody plans to wreck their career.
- 29:38Speaker 1: Nobody plans to wreck their marriage. Nobody plans to wreck
- 29:41Speaker 1: their health. Nobody plans to wreck their profession. Nobody plans
- 29:45Speaker 1: to wreck their body. Nobody plans to wreck any of
- 29:47Speaker 1: those things any more than we plan to wreck our cars.
- 29:50Speaker 1: The problem is we just don't plan not to. And
- 29:57Speaker 1: guardrails is how you plan not to. Not to. Guardrails
- 30:02Speaker 1: is how you set yourself up to walk wisely, to
- 30:06Speaker 1: live carefully. There's a sense in which guardrails are the
- 30:10Speaker 1: equivalent of defensive living. Now, I know what you say
- 30:14Speaker 1: because we all say the same thing. I'll be careful.
- 30:18Speaker 1: Guardrails is how you be careful. And there's an added benefit.
- 30:25Speaker 1: We'll close with this. The added benefit is this. At
- 30:28Speaker 1: the very beginning, I told you that guardrails, remember they
- 30:31Speaker 1: protect and they direct. They direct and protect. You will
- 30:36Speaker 1: find it, even if you're new to faith, even if
- 30:39Speaker 1: you're not sure you embrace faith, and if you've been
- 30:41Speaker 1: a part of chasing faith for a long, long time,
- 30:44Speaker 1: you're gonna discover it is much, much easier to discern
- 30:48Speaker 1: God's will for you with guardrails than without. And the
- 30:51Speaker 1: reason is this. Stepping away, stepping away from what can
- 30:56Speaker 1: harm you is a step toward the one who loves you.
- 31:01Speaker 1: And at the end of the day, this discussion isn't
- 31:03Speaker 1: simply about becoming better people. At the end of the day,
- 31:07Speaker 1: this whole series, this whole message series, this entire discussion
- 31:10Speaker 1: is about becoming more surrendered people. Surrender to the God
- 31:15Speaker 1: who loves you, to the God who sent his son.
- 31:18Speaker 1: to pay for your sin and to pay for mine.
- 31:21Speaker 1: And to live in such a way that our lives glorify,
- 31:25Speaker 1: big Bible word, Christian word, that our lives glorify or
- 31:29Speaker 1: speak well of our Father in heaven. So this is
- 31:33Speaker 1: about you, but it's not just about you. So, final question.
- 31:40Speaker 1: Where do you need to start? Where do you need
- 31:43Speaker 1: to start? What is it that you need to face
- 31:46Speaker 1: up to? What is it that every once in a
- 31:48Speaker 1: while something reminds you, every once in a while somebody
- 31:51Speaker 1: reminds you and you just push it off to the
- 31:52Speaker 1: periphery and you just, you know at some point you
- 31:55Speaker 1: gotta face it, at some point you gotta deal with it,
- 31:57Speaker 1: at some point you need to step back from it.
- 31:59Speaker 1: What is it for you? Where are you flirting with disaster?
- 32:03Speaker 1: Where are you driving too close to the edge? And
- 32:07Speaker 1: would you be open for the next few weeks for
- 32:10Speaker 1: the Spirit of God to begin to move in your
- 32:13Speaker 1: heart and to help you establish some guardrails? Think about
- 32:17Speaker 1: that and we'll pick it up right there next week.