Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / The mild mannered narcissist

Transcript

The mild mannered narcissist · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people Welcome to another
• 0:02
  episode of the narcissist Code. I'm your favorite self aware
• 0:06
  narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett better known as mental illness
• 0:08
  across all social media platforms.
• 0:10
  This is your first time to see in my face and hear my lovely
• 0:12
  voice. I am a clinically diagnosed
• 0:14
  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
• 0:16
  awareness for NPD, get more people into therapy like myself
• 0:20
  and also validate the victims, survivors and thrivers of said
• 0:23
  disorder, said toxic people said toxic traits.
• 0:25
  Today's episode is going to be about the mild mannered
• 0:29
  narcissist, the mild mannered narcissistic person who kind of
• 0:35
  like. And what I mean by mild mannered
• 0:37
  narcissist is that, like when you hear the word narcissist, a
• 0:39
  lot of people think of the overt malignant type of narcissist
• 0:43
  that is just out there just being kind of obnoxious.
• 0:46
  You know, creating cult followings, being toxic as hell,
• 0:50
  and you, you kind of notice something is going on with that
• 0:53
  person. That's like the overt
• 0:56
  narcissistic person. They're they they need, they try
• 0:58
  to dress the best, they have huge delusions of grandeur, they
• 1:02
  try to dress the best, look the best, need the best cars and
• 1:05
  stuff like that. Just so super grandiose people,
• 1:08
  covert, more covert narcissistic people tend to be more mild
• 1:13
  mannered. I'm saying mild matter.
• 1:16
  Narcissistic people tend to covert.
• 1:18
  Narcissists are more subtle. Y'all the covert narcissists
• 1:21
  don't typically do narcissistic rage or huge outbursts like
• 1:24
  that. They're more subtle.
• 1:26
  They're more passive aggressive. They're more like you, don't
• 1:30
  like you. It would be hard pressed to
• 1:32
  prove that a covert narcissist is a narcissist because they
• 1:35
  don't rage, they don't yell, they they don't scream, they do
• 1:38
  passive aggressive things. They make noise, they they make
• 1:40
  noises or grunt or just be super subtle and just kind of
• 1:45
  indignant and give you the silent treatment and ghost you
• 1:48
  and Stonewall you and things like that.
• 1:50
  That's more the covert narcissist.
• 1:51
  The mild mannered narcissist is the type of person that kind of
• 1:54
  goes between the two. The mild mannered narcissist is
• 1:58
  the kind of like the to me is the narcissistic person that
• 2:03
  lacks identity the most. Because mild mannered people
• 2:08
  typically can like the mild mannered narcissist typically
• 2:12
  can go between overt and covert. You know what I'm saying?
• 2:15
  They are like a blend between the two depending on what crowd
• 2:19
  that they are in. Like the mild mannered
• 2:21
  narcissistic person is going to be like the more more chameleon
• 2:26
  type of narcissist. You know what I mean?
• 2:28
  Like the more they can just morph who they are to fit into a
• 2:33
  crowd of people, they change. They can change their
• 2:36
  personality dynamics and their personality characteristics in
• 2:39
  order to fit within a different crowd of people, within a
• 2:42
  different sect of people and what not.
• 2:45
  That's what mild mannered narcissists do right there.
• 2:48
  You know what I'm saying? Like that's why so many people
• 2:51
  get it into their mind that there is like narcissists are
• 2:54
  either going to fall into one type or the other type like
• 2:57
  overt or covert. You can be both y'all you can be
• 3:00
  the mild mannered one who really truly lacks identity and morphs
• 3:05
  into the crowd of who they are in like who they are around.
• 3:09
  Like they become the people who are they they are around at this
• 3:13
  moment in time. It's just like at home there.
• 3:17
  Of course at home most narcissists are going to be
• 3:19
  different people, but the the mild manner narcissistic person
• 3:23
  is going to be out here in the world just morphing into other
• 3:27
  people. There's like lacking, super,
• 3:29
  seriously lacking identity and taking on the personality
• 3:32
  characteristics or the personality traits of other
• 3:35
  people that they are around to fit in.
• 3:38
  You know what I mean? It's just like mild mannered
• 3:40
  means like blank slate pretty much.
• 3:41
  It's just like even keel like the type of person that like I
• 3:45
  said, it's like super even keel type of person that you don't
• 3:49
  know what you're going to get from this person.
• 3:51
  You know, you're just like you, oh, he's cool or she's cool.
• 3:54
  Like they they don't really talk a lot you know they got to the
• 3:56
  mild mannered 1. The mild mannered narcissist has
• 3:59
  to warm up to you. You know what I mean?
• 4:01
  The overt, the overt narcissistic person typically is
• 4:05
  like the the loudest person in the room.
• 4:07
  A lot of times they're going to be the loudest person in the
• 4:09
  room. They're coming, they they are
• 4:10
  going to come up to you and speak to you, make conversation
• 4:13
  with anybody, talk to anybody, that type of stuff.
• 4:15
  Covert narcissists tend to, you know, they just depend on who
• 4:17
  they are. The covert narcissists lean more
• 4:20
  towards being mouthmattered, you know, but the mouthmattered
• 4:23
  person, they've got to warm up to you, you know they got to
• 4:26
  warm up and they could warm up and be overt depending on who
• 4:29
  they are around. They could warm up and be covert
• 4:31
  and just stay, stay still, stay subtle, still stay passive
• 4:35
  aggressive and still stay in this same type of mindset.
• 4:38
  You see what I'm saying? The mild mannered Narciss.
• 4:40
  I know a lot of y'all here have experienced this.
• 4:42
  Like when you they're just super even killed, but when they're
• 4:45
  around a different group of like they're super even killed super.
• 4:48
  Just like just pretty much the word the.
• 4:51
  I would say the operative word will be chill.
• 4:54
  They're like the Super chill person, right?
• 4:56
  But when they get around a certain crowd of people, they
• 4:59
  turn into someone else. When they get around a certain
• 5:02
  group of friends, they turn into that group of friends.
• 5:05
  You know, regardless if they if that group of friends is like
• 5:08
  game plan, they play Call of Duty or World of Warcraft or
• 5:11
  their book reading club, whatever it is, you know, you
• 5:13
  know whatever it is, they turn into that person.
• 5:18
  But you see this same person get around a crowd of I kind of
• 5:23
  outlandish, obnoxious. Like loud people, they become
• 5:28
  that too, you know, It's like mild mannered people, like mild
• 5:32
  mannered narcissistic people just have this blank slate and
• 5:36
  we kind of I I so me personally, I would fall more into the mild
• 5:39
  mannered narcissist. Yeah, where you where you.
• 5:41
  I'm more passive aggressive until I warm up to a room into a
• 5:45
  space and whatnot. You know what?
• 5:47
  I'm just chill and I'm morphed into the crowd that I'm around,
• 5:51
  that whoever, whatever crowd that I'm around, I tend to
• 5:54
  become, you know, whatever crowd that I'm around, whatever crowd
• 5:57
  that I'm dealing with, the whatever, whatever zone that I'm
• 6:00
  dealing with, whatever zone I'm dealing in, I I tend to become,
• 6:05
  never have a lot of experience with being mild mannered.
• 6:07
  People would describe me as like, oh, Lee is chill, He's
• 6:10
  cool. You know when they first meet
• 6:11
  me, No, he's he's chill, he's cool.
• 6:13
  He's like he didn't really talk much until, you know, so and so
• 6:15
  got around, turned into so. One of my old good friends is a
• 6:20
  super malignant narcissist. Y'all like overt as he as he
• 6:26
  wants to be, you know as overt as he wants to be.
• 6:29
  When I got around him, I would turn into him, you know, turn
• 6:32
  into more of a turn into a version of myself that more
• 6:35
  mirrored him. Mild mannered and chill.
• 6:38
  Narcissistic people can become that, you know, just they become
• 6:42
  who they're around, being loud, just becoming that type of
• 6:45
  person right there, you know, you they become like mild man
• 6:48
  and narcissistic people. We become who we are around, you
• 6:50
  know, it's just like whoever, like the crowd that I'm in, I
• 6:55
  become. I assimilate the personality
• 6:57
  characteristics or the traits or the goals and whatever they this
• 7:01
  this crowd has, you know, it is. It's wild having this type of
• 7:05
  mindset. Like I said, being a mild man or
• 7:08
  narcissistic person, it's just hard like because like I
• 7:12
  nowadays more because I'm 38 years old now.
• 7:14
  I have more of my own identity. I don't need like I'm I'm going
• 7:17
  to be who I am right now around anybody.
• 7:19
  Like I'm not going to morph to fit in just so I don't.
• 7:21
  I don't. I'm not going to morph to fit in
• 7:23
  just so I don't stand out too much, you know?
• 7:26
  I'm not going to do that anymore.
• 7:27
  I'm just who you see is who you get right now.
• 7:30
  Because I've been working with myself so long and I I I accept
• 7:33
  I'm more along the lines, except me for who I am right now.
• 7:36
  As opposed to back in the day when I used to be this other
• 7:40
  type of person, when I would just, like need to fit in in
• 7:43
  order to just like I need to fit in.
• 7:44
  So I don't stand out too much. So I would just warm up to the
• 7:47
  crowd. And when I warmed up, it was
• 7:49
  just I would become a whole different person, you know, and
• 7:52
  people would just notice it, like, and you get a little while
• 7:54
  when you get around silver. So, oh, really?
• 7:56
  Do I? Oh, I didn't know that.
• 7:57
  I don't know. Just energy.
• 7:59
  The energy shifts when I'm around this person right here.
• 8:02
  Well, if I'm around a bunch of quiet people, like y'all my
• 8:05
  person out there is just like, it's just like a lot of mild
• 8:08
  manner, like covert, overt narcissists, like mixtures, like
• 8:12
  we we just transitioned you literally, literally, literally,
• 8:16
  literally. We literally can transition into
• 8:20
  whoever we need to be. And it's just like having that
• 8:23
  blank slate becomes exhausting because like and not having your
• 8:27
  real identity becomes exhausting as hell because you try to be
• 8:31
  some. You try to fit into so many
• 8:33
  different crowds that you get, but you kind of lose who you are
• 8:37
  and the people, the people who are closest to you, who know the
• 8:40
  most authentic version of you. You take it out on them, like
• 8:45
  your spouse or your children. They get the worst version of
• 8:48
  you. You're free or close.
• 8:49
  Your actual close friends who know you for a while and who
• 8:53
  y'all ride or die. They get the worst version of
• 8:56
  you and whatnot. That's part of it, that that
• 8:59
  that does happen, you know, because you get so frustrated
• 9:02
  like they get so frustrated with without having your own identity
• 9:06
  that you have this crisis. It's just like you.
• 9:08
  You become, you have so many different identities like within
• 9:11
  yourself battling to see which one is the real identity.
• 9:15
  It's kind of like it's not split personalities or multiple
• 9:18
  multiple personality disorder or you know I think it's called DID
• 9:21
  now disassociative identity disorder.
• 9:25
  That's not what it is. It's just like the because those
• 9:29
  that type of person has different personas.
• 9:33
  They are different people within one body.
• 9:36
  Narcissistic people like myself who are struggling with their
• 9:39
  identity tend to present this mild manner until we figure out
• 9:42
  who you actually which which personality?
• 9:45
  Which personality benefits us the most?
• 9:48
  You know, you probably, if y'all dealt with the mild mannered
• 9:51
  narcissist, just put a raised hand in the comment section.
• 9:53
  You know, just put a raise hand. Just drop a raised hand emoji in
• 9:56
  the comment section. Just say, hey Lee.
• 9:57
  Yep, I definitely dealt with the mild mannered narcissist.
• 10:00
  I dealt with one that didn't have an identity.
• 10:04
  Changed jobs a lot, changed careers a lot, changed hobbies a
• 10:07
  lot. Didn't know what made him happy,
• 10:09
  didn't know what made her happy. Whatever the situation is,
• 10:12
  whoever you're dealing with, you know the process.
• 10:14
  It works. It works.
• 10:15
  It's a very unique process, Y'all.
• 10:17
  And like I said, it keeps going. It doesn't.
• 10:19
  It doesn't. There's no reason.
• 10:21
  I'll say this. There's no reason for it to get
• 10:24
  better because that person doesn't feel like they need to
• 10:26
  work on themselves. You know, the narcissistic
• 10:29
  person, tax person, whatever. They don't feel the need to work
• 10:32
  on themselves to. They just feel like they this is
• 10:34
  who they are. This is like this because that's
• 10:36
  how I felt. I always felt like this is who I
• 10:38
  am. There's nothing I can do about
• 10:40
  it, You know? This is who I am.
• 10:42
  There's nothing I can do about it.
• 10:43
  And this is who I this is who I'm going to be and this is who
• 10:47
  I have to be. Anyways, y'all thank you for
• 10:49
  tuning into another episode. Thank you for making it this
• 10:52
  far. If you have make sure y'all hop
• 10:53
  over to Amazon. Check out the self Love journal.
• 10:56
  I love me Lee Hammock. The Self Love Journal help you
• 10:58
  rebuild that self love and your own identity.
• 11:01
  Well, I can subscribe for more of mythicalness is out peace.
• 11:04
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 11:06
  Y'all. If you didn't know we wrote a
• 11:08
  kids book called Remember It's not your fault to help kids
• 11:11
  understand that they are not in control of whatever
• 11:13
  circumstances they were born into.
• 11:15
  Talk about boundaries, telling the truth.
• 11:18
  All of that stuff. Y'all.
• 11:19
  It's available on Amazon right now.
• 11:21
  Or the link in my description of every single video or podcast
• 11:24
  that you listen to. Thank you so much.
• 11:25
  Remember, it's not your fault. Peace.