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UncomMEN · HBCWestminster

• 0:00
  As you can see by your handout, we're going to cover some topics that we all love to talk about. So, before we get into the study for this week, since we're kind of at the midway point, I wanted to go through and do some recap of kind of what has brought us here, just really briefly about the last few weeks that we have gone over.
• 0:27
  When we started, we started out with kind of an overview and talked about five different guys, Joseph, Peter, Daniel, Barnabas, and King David. And we looked at those men, some characteristics that made them unique, and thought through what things God might want to teach us.
• 0:48
  through those characteristics, what things might connect with us, what things we might see lacking, and kind of set the stage for our summer study. Then David brought us and looked at reclaiming or claiming or understanding our biblical identity, the fact that we were created in God's image, and because of that, we have innate value. And as innate value, we should treat each other as such.
• 1:17
  And we should not think more of ourselves, but we should certainly not think less of ourselves as people who are created in God's image. We looked at a continuation of that identity and what Christ's example gave to us from Philippians 2. The perfect man, right? What better example to look at than Christ?
• 1:41
  what we ought to be doing, how we ought to live, than Christ. And Philippians 2 tells us that Christ humbled himself, desiring to empty himself of his independent decisions to exercise his Godhood. He emptied himself and submitted himself to God the Father. And how much more should we submit ourselves to God, to Christ,
• 2:10
  And he brought up the idea of us really seeking unity as brothers, as Christians. And then we went on and Chris Lawrence brought us the topic of exercising our dad muscles. Going through and there was a couple things that Chris said to that night that really stood out to me. One of them that really stood out to me, he said a harsh response.
• 2:40
  can inflame a volcanic reaction. And that we shouldn't love our kids enough to allow them to experience at times the natural consequences of their choices. He said that part in connection with do not steal. I had not thought about when he was going through those different topics when he said do not steal. I wasn't making the connection of stealing away opportunities for our kids, for the young ones to learn important truths.
• 3:11
  And then last week, Brian did a great job of bringing us 1 Corinthians chapter 13, the love chapter. Talked about love being an action, right? And that he defined that for us. We looked at several instances of that. And he started all of that off with, and I love the connection from 1 Corinthians chapter 12, verse 31, where kind of Paul enters into the discussion on love and says, this is the most I'm going to show you still.
• 3:40
  a more excellent way. All of these fantastic gifts that you guys are all distracted with are peanuts in comparison with love. And he brought that to us and he obviously and very correctly had one tool on the table, the nail, right? When we see a nail, we think very clearly about Christ and his sacrifice. And Brian also last week brought this back to the verse in 1 Corinthians chapter 16.
• 4:09
  that we have for our theme verse, right? You guys know 1 Corinthians chapter 13, verse 14 tells us, after it says to be watchful, to stand firm, to be strong, Paul then says, let all you do be done in love. Let everything we do as men be done through love. And for that, Brian chose the nail. So as we consider what brought us to this point,
• 4:39
  I thought it fitting, given Brian looking at love last week, for us to look at the things that might kill love. The killers, if you will. The things that will affect our ability to love one another, to love our wives, to love our kids, to love our God. If humble living and sacrificial choices enable and build love, then what are the things that kill it? What must we...
• 5:13
  be on the lookout for in our own lives, in our own spiritual journey, in our own homes, what must we be aware of, lest it grow unknowingly behind the scenes. So we're going to study three words tonight. They're a fun list, as I said, ones that we all like to talk about and confess to to one another. We're going to be looking at anger, selfishness, and love, or lust.
• 5:45
  As I say that list of words, I am very convicted myself that I really have no business being up here talking to you men, because as I list out those three words, I fail on those all the time. Do we not? As men, we fail in these areas all the time. But the beauty of the Christian walk is that God, as we sung, does not see us through that, right? God, through His grace and His mercy,
• 6:16
  sees us through His Son, Jesus Christ, and so it is because of that I stand before you men and am able to share this with you tonight, because on my own, I have no business talking on this topic. So that's what we're going to consider tonight, the killers. And because of that, I told this table that I wasn't going to put our tool for the night...
• 6:39
  on the table because they didn't trust you, and then they all pulled out one. And I said, well, maybe I'll just change it and say I didn't put it on the table because you probably all have one in your pocket. I figured it was probably not smart to bring a gun because that's a killer. I thought about a knife. We must be careful with how we handle a knife. We must be careful how we handle that tool. And I thought it fitting was we talk about the killers, the things that can really disable or harm.
• 7:08
  our ability to love the way God wants us to. So many of you, I'm sure, have that in your pocket right now. So if you want to pull it out, you're more than welcome to as we talk through tonight. As we prepare our hearts and our minds to hear from God's Word and His Spirit, let's pray that God might soften our hearts to receive the truth that God desires each one of us.
• 7:28
  to hear tonight. Let's pray. Father in heaven, God, we pray that you would just give us humble hearts, Lord. Give us humble spirits, Lord, that we might share with one another. We might receive your truth, receive your word, Lord. Make us not proud men, but men that are strengthened in you. God, that we would soften our hearts to share with one another, to encourage one another, to build each other up, Lord. That we might live out our faith.
• 7:55
  with one another. We might sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron. Father, we pray these things in your name. Amen. Alright, so the things that kill love. Anger. Anger is our first one. Anger is defined as this. A strong emotional reaction of displeasure often leading to plans for revenge or punishment.
• 8:25
  I want to go to Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4. We're going to read verse 26 and 27. Those verses say this, Be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger and give no opportunity to the devil. Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor doing honest, doing honest work with his own hands.
• 9:07
  so that he may have something to share with anyone in need. Verse 26 says, Be angry and do not sin. Let's go to James. James, just after Hebrews. Chapter 1, verse 19. It says this, Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of man
• 9:43
  does not produce righteousness. I'm just going to read a couple more from Proverbs. Proverbs 29.11 says this, A fool gives full vent to his spirit, but a wise man quietly holds back. Proverbs 15.1 also says, A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Later in Ephesians 4,
• 10:11
  Verse 31, it says, Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. And then lastly, in Proverbs, it is direct and clear with a contrast of persons. Proverbs 14, 29 says this, Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. I want to consider those verses.
• 10:44
  that I just read to you guys. As we consider those verses God has given us on anger and its dangers and attributes, it makes me think of a time in my life where unfortunately many of these things were true of me in a very distinct way. Those of you guys who are car guys who enjoy working on your car, even if it's just doing something for fun, it can be fun. But when it's broken,
• 11:17
  We often don't come to it with a very good attitude to start with. And if you're like me, often when you come to your car to fix it, you often find that the engineers put the part that you need to replace in the part that's impossible to get to. Even though the part costs $50 to buy, it's probably an entire day's work to get it out and replace it. Well, when Carl and I were first married, we owned a Ford Focus, and that Ford Focus lived up to every acronym you can picture of Ford.
• 11:51
  It was definitely found on road dead. We had it towed multiple times. There was often months where I felt like I was fixing or repairing it daily. And one such time, the alternator went out. Not an expensive part to replace. Usually not a very difficult part to replace on a vehicle. However, these engineers put it on the back of the engine.
• 12:16
  and around something. And so I bought the all-trainer, came back, had it up on jacks and began to work on it. Had my arms and hands contorted up above me and finally found the first... You can't see anything up there. You're just flying blind, just grabbing a bolt and just praying, make this be the one that's going to make it go loose. Busted my knuckles four or five times. After about 45 minutes, I had two of them out thinking,
• 12:46
  I can't find anything else. This has got to be it. Start trying to shake the thing loose from underneath, from up on top, underneath, up on top. Thing is not budging. Half an hour in, I'm starting to get a little angry. Starting to get pretty agitated to a point where I'm shaking the car as I try to pull this thing out. Got to a point where I even let a few choice words free.
• 13:16
  I was upset, man. I was angry at this. And finally, I stopped myself, walked away, went in, sat down, calmed down. About 10, 15 minutes later, prayed. Lord, I'm sorry. Help me. I have no idea what I'm doing. And he was like, hey, there's this thing called the Internet. You should use it. And maybe look it up and looked up.
• 13:46
  Found a YouTube video, guys, like, you're never going to find this third bolt if I don't show you. Shows where it is, walked out, put my hand right on it, zipped it off, had everything done in like a half an hour. But I got pretty angry. I got pretty upset. When everything goes wrong, it's easy for us.
• 14:07
  As men. It can be our first response. When things don't go as planned. When our kids aren't acting the way we want. When finances aren't the way we anticipate. When things don't go as planned. It's really easy for us. To get angry. And to sin in our anger. To get angry and take it out on our kids. To get angry and take it out on our wives. To take it out on our friends. To take it out on our co-workers. This is why Solomon in Proverbs tells us.
• 14:40
  to give full vent to our anger, not give full vent to our spirits. That's an interesting concept. He says not to give full vent to it. If you think about that, it's kind of letting ourselves go, right? It's letting ourselves kind of come, just fully go and not bring into control and to discipline our responses to those situations that don't go as planned.
• 15:09
  And he warns us against that and says not to give full vent to it. It will not help us. It certainly did not help me fix my vehicle. Did I get anything more done as I got more and more angry? No, I got a lot less done. And I actually busted my knuckles even more because I was getting more frustrated. I do appreciate that Paul in Ephesians allows us to be angry. He doesn't say, don't be angry. Right? He doesn't say that. What does he say in Ephesians?
• 15:40
  He says, be angry, but don't sin. Right? Anger is actually a response that, I mean, it's a response that, an emotion that is attributed to God. We are created in His image. God, obviously, in His anger does not sin. He is just in His anger. He is just in the actions He takes if He is angry. It talks about the wrath of God at times.
• 16:10
  And then the wrath of God seen through the mercy of God, right? There's a lot of rain coming down. So Paul tells us that we will be angry. It's a matter of fact. It will happen in this life, right? We will be angry at situations. But let's consider what we ought to do in those moments.
• 16:39
  where we might be tempted to sin in our anger, where we might be tempted to give full vent, to lose control of ourselves and move beyond. And let's look at, go to James 1, 19 through 20, that second one that I read to you guys. And I believe that James gives us a process, a process that can help us to be disciplined as our emotions might run away with ourselves. And he says,
• 17:09
  In James 1, 19-20, he says, Know this, my beloved brothers, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger, for the anger of a man does not produce righteousness. What does he tell us first? He tells us to be quick to hear. There's a clear progression. Be quick to hear, slow to speak, and then slow to anger. We must bridle.
• 17:43
  our natural and depraved response. We must bridle our natural response. We must not give full vent to our natural response. If we consider these first words of quick to hear, if our first inclination in a moment where we might become upset or frustrated with a situation is to stop and listen, whether that's to listen to
• 18:11
  God's speaking to us or listen to somebody who's talking to us. Will it give us time to maybe not react rashly? To not react harshly? If we take a moment to listen, I get the idea that James is saying just stop for a moment and think. Calm down. Your first reaction is probably the wrong one.
• 18:47
  We have to be aware, we have to be understanding of the fact that often in our lives, as we live this life regenerated by the Spirit and yet still at war with our old selves, that our natural inclination often will be the sinful one. Unless we learn to train and bridle that through God's Holy Spirit and through studying His Word. You know, Proverbs 19.11 says this of good sense.
• 19:19
  makes one slow to anger. And it is His glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19.11 says that. I don't think that I would have good sense if I did my first reaction in a moment. You know, my first reaction in that moment when I was working on my car was not good sense. Good sense would have been, hey, stop for a moment. Maybe take advantage of this new technology that's out there called YouTube and all these wonderful...
• 19:49
  informational videos that can help you walk through this. No, my first, my natural response was to get angry and yank on it harder. You know, get a bigger hammer. That's often our response as men, right? Get a bigger hammer. Even with our own kids. Get a bigger hammer. Right? That's not going to work. Proverbs 19.11, it's good sense that makes us slow to anger and it is to His glory to overlook an offense. When was the last time we overlooked an offense?
• 20:18
  When was the last time we sought to forgive somebody and not asking them to correct it, but just forgive them? So we must be quick to hear. This leads us to the next part where James tells us we must be slow to speak. And going back to Proverbs 29.11, which says, The wise man quietly holds it back. What back? What does he hold back? He holds back anger.
• 20:52
  He quietly holds it back. If we are to be wise, especially in those moments when we feel that we are wronged or tempted to respond harshly with someone, here it says we will be wise. It is wise to quietly hold it back. Think about that in connection with James chapter 1 where it says be slow to speak. As we have an offense against us, it's easy for us.
• 21:20
  to want to just jump right in and either defend ourselves or attack somebody else, right? That's a natural response if we feel like there's an offense against us as men. And yet, James tells us to be slow, slow to speak. If we will not quietly hold back, then we will burst forth in folly and anger. If we don't heed James' warning, his principles of being quick to hear and slow to speak,
• 21:59
  We will fail, brothers. We will fail at this over and over again. The beauty of Scripture is that it's applicable to our everyday lives, to every moment, to every day, to every time we go to work, every time we drive, our cars. There's somebody who we might feel has offended us, right? Are we not tempted in those moments to be angry or to say harsh things about that person?
• 22:28
  I know I am. And I have a really fantastic wife who reminds me to be gracious. And I sometimes tell her, not right now. Just give me five minutes. So we need to be quick to hear, slow to speak. And that will give us an opportunity to give soft answers. It will give us an opportunity to be slow to become angry. If we do those first two things, more often than not, we will be...
• 23:03
  and not sinning in our frustration or our anger. You know, it's easy when we feel like there's an offense against us to become enraged or to speak harshly against somebody. But if we look at it through the perspective of what Christ has done for us and the offenses that were done against Him, and yet He was so willing to sacrifice Himself over and over again as insults were hurled at Him,
• 23:41
  He was never provoked to respond in anger. He always had a soft answer. So our first killer is anger. The first thing that will destroy our ability to love. If you get angry with somebody, are they going to be able to receive love from you? Are you going to be able to extend love to them? Are you going to be able to act loving to them as Brian talked about last week? Are we going to be able to do actions of love if we are angry with somebody?
• 24:14
  Probably not. Our next killer is selfishness. Selfishness is defined as this, devoted to or caring only for self, concerned primarily with your own interest. Someone can look up Philippians 2, Philippians chapter 2, verse 3. And someone else can look up Romans chapter 2 and verse 8.
• 24:57
  Somebody else look up Judges 21-25. And whoever has Philippians 2-3, you wouldn't mind reading that. Go ahead, Ken. Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind, regard one another as more important than yourselves. Romans 2-8.
• 25:42
  For those who are selfishly ambitious and do not obey the truth, but obey unrighteousness, wrath, and indignation. Judges 21-25 In those days there was no king in Israel. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.
• 26:08
  Flip over to, everybody flip over to Genesis chapter 13. Genesis 13 verses 10 through 11. They say this, And Lot lifted up his eyes and saw that the Jordan Valley was well watered everywhere like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt in the direction of Zor. This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. So Lot chose for himself
• 26:48
  all the Jordan Valley and Lot journeyed east. Thus, they separated from each other. 1 Corinthians 10, verse 24 tells us, Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor.
• 27:07
  And John 13, 34 says, A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. And what does Romans 5, 8 tell us about the way that God loved us? While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Christ selflessly gave of himself. So the definition of selfishness is devotion for only self, concerned primarily with others.
• 27:38
  our own interests. And again, this is certainly not something that any of us as men struggle with, right? We're always selfless. We always want to give to our kids, give way to our wives, be generous at work, right? We don't care if somebody else gets credit for things that we do at work, right? That doesn't make us mad, right? That never happens. As I began to think of this topic, I was reminded of the fact
• 28:11
  But it is this selfishness that when left unchecked and unexamined can arise at moments and cause us to respond in anger. Right? Selfishness is often at the root of one in three of our topics tonight. Selfishness often causes us to act out in anger. And selfishness often causes us to act on our lustful thoughts. And as we take...
• 28:45
  Action on our selfishness, unfortunately, it causes us usually to hurt those that we love the most around us. You know, a couple weeks ago, I shared with the table I was sitting at that one of the things that I've been really challenged by recently is I have been harsh with my kids after bedtime. You know, those of you who are dads understand, you put them to bed, and they don't stay in bed. They just don't do it.
• 29:20
  especially in the summertime. Every time that sun stays up, they want to stay up. And the last, like, three or four weeks prior to this, they've just been, you know, I put them to bed and get up again, get up again and again and again and again and again and again and again. And it's, you know, 8.30, 9 o'clock, and I'm like, I've been putting you guys to bed for the last two hours. And I started getting harsh with my kids. I started being short with them. Started not...
• 29:48
  Acting as a loving dad and being harsh and telling them, you know, yelling at them, go get up in bed. And I was really challenged by that. And I thought about it. It really was not about their disobedience. The part that really challenged me was not about their disobedience that was making me upset. It was the fact that I was feeling like they were taking something from me. I had given them their time, right? I had spent time with them when I got home from work and put them to bed and done all of that. And now this is my time. This is my time.
• 30:16
  My moments, I get two hours before I go to bed. You guys are supposed to be in bed. You guys are infringing on my time now. And that was what was causing me to be harsh and short with them. And it was very challenging. Do any of us really own our own time? Is it ours or is it God's time? Does God call me to be a loving dad at all times or when it's easy? Should I be offering up my time to my kids?
• 30:46
  challenged by that, and I shared that a couple weeks ago, and when I thought about this, when I thought about selfishness, I thought that it was very fitting that God was challenging me with that before he was getting me to teach on this topic. So going back to Philippians chapter 2 and verse 3, it tells us that we should do nothing out of selfish ambition, and I want to stay, hopefully you guys stayed in Genesis chapter 13, because I want to go back to that. Genesis chapter 13, verse 10 through 11.
• 31:17
  And if you go earlier in there, it talks about how there was conflict. In fact, there was conflict between the herdsmen and Abraham and Lot. And it was because of all their possessions. Their possessions, the area they were inhabiting was causing them to be in strife because their possessions had grown so vast. And so we come to this moment where Abraham says, You know what?
• 31:45
  We can't do this anymore. We should not be at odds with each other. You choose anywhere you want to be. You go choose what land you want, and I'll just take whatever else is available. And in verse 11, it tells us, it says, Lot chose. And this word for chose has a few meanings, but one of it is to desire. One of it is to desire. One of the words, the connections of the meaning for this word of Lot,
• 32:17
  choosing can be desire, to desire something. It's interesting that his choosing separated them, right? This conflict and his choice separates them. It causes this separation. It's interesting that Lot chooses the best portion of land. He chooses the best thing, right? Abraham says, you choose whatever you want. Lot chooses what is considered the best. Think about that.
• 32:52
  And then just hold your finger in Genesis and let's jump over to James again. James chapter 1. James chapter 1 and verse 14 says this, But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire, when it has conceived, gives birth to sin.
• 33:34
  Death. Go back to Genesis. How did Lot's choosing work out for him? What happened? Well, he was in a city that ended up getting destroyed. Lost his wife. Death. What does Lot do, guys? What does Lot do as those angels come and visit him and these wicked men of Sodom come and pound on his door? What does Lot do? Offers up his daughters. Guys.
• 34:14
  Lot offers up his own daughters to these men and says, do as you please. Lot chose. He desired something. He desired riches. That desire later on brings death. He loses his wife and causes him to offer up his own daughters to men who want nothing but despicable things. Brothers, we must check our desires.
• 34:47
  We must check our desires that they are in line with God. Because if they are not, they will lead to death. They will lead to either death of relationships. Because our desires are born out of selfishness. Are they not? We desire things that gratify self. Naturally. That's what we want. That is certainly true of Lot. Lot chose this. He desired it. He desired riches.
• 35:17
  And Genesis 19.8 is where he offers up his daughters to these men. The connection between Genesis 13, Genesis 19, and James 1, to me, seem really clear. Lot chooses something, he desires something, he desires riches. Chooses what is best, does not give way to a man who is older than him, who has a promise from God that he is aware of. He chooses selfishly.
• 35:51
  He chooses selfish ambition. And because of that, he allows himself his desires, his desire to keep that, to maintain that, to lead him to do awful things. I cannot imagine offering my daughters in that situation. Yet we are all capable of that, right? If we are honest with ourselves, we all are capable of despicable sin. Brothers, our own desires will lead us towards selfish living.
• 36:27
  towards destructive and hurtful choices that can cause us to separate, as Lot separated from Abraham, from those we love, as it did to Lot. This is the opposite of what a few verses we read at the beginning tell us to live. Again, 1 Corinthians 10.24 says,
• 36:51
  Let no one seek his own good, but rather the good of his neighbor. And John 13, 34 says, A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you. And we said, Romans chapter 5, verse 8, tells us that what did God do? He sacrificed his own son, Christ, sacrificed himself in a loving action for us. Brothers, our desires, this side of heaven will always be selfish unless unchecked. This will and does cause us to do
• 37:21
  things that hurt others, our relationships with them, and most importantly, they will affect our relations with people we care about, and most importantly, will affect our ability to enjoy a deep and vital relationship with our Heavenly Father. As we take action on our selfishness, it will disrupt our relationship with God, not on His end, but on our end. Alright, now as I said in the middle,
• 37:53
  This middle topic is connected with our front and back end. We're going to move on to everybody's favorite topic, lust. Every guy in this room is excited to get here, including myself. It's a topic that, you know, as we were going over this, it was kind of like a hot potato. No, you get it. No, you teach on it. You teach on it. Because, man, all of us, all of us brothers, all of us struggle with this, do we not? This is a rough one.
• 38:24
  Lust is defined as this, unrestrained sexual craving. Lust is a craving. It can take many forms, or any form, such as lust for sexuality, lust for money, or lust for power. It can take such mundane forms as lust for food. We can lust after food. Food can become something that we desire over anything else. I have heard men, I have been told by some men,
• 38:54
  Different times in my life. Well, Nathan, I just don't understand that. I don't understand that struggle. It's just not something that I struggle with myself. And to this I say, denial ain't just a river in Egypt. Brothers, if we're honest with ourselves, there are areas that we all struggle with, but this one is one that is almost universal for us, right? At every moment in our lives, we have struggled with this at some point to some degree.
• 39:26
  I am no different. Brothers, lust is not at its essence, though, physical action. Lust, as the definition says, is a craving, an unrestrained craving. This craving most likely takes place in the mind. It can follow with sinful acts afterwards. But in essence, it's something that takes place in our minds.
• 39:56
  Matthew 28, I'm going to read these because we're running short on time. Matthew 5.28 says this, But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 1 John 2.6 says this, For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life is not from the Father, but from the world.
• 40:26
  1 Thessalonians 4, 4-5 says that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion like the Gentiles who do not know God. 1 Peter 2, 11 says, Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul.
• 40:51
  May we make no mistake about this. We are at war. Satan is at war for our minds. There's two men. I'm going to skip a couple things here. There are two men that I want to look at. I'm going to go to 2 Samuel chapter 11. 2 Samuel chapter 11 and verses 2 through 5. Say this, it happened.
• 41:35
  Late one afternoon, when David arose from his couch and was walking on the roof of the king's house, that he saw from the roof a woman bathing, and the woman was very beautiful. And David sent and inquired about the woman, and one said, Is this not Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite? So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her. Now he had been...
• 42:01
  Now she had been purifying herself from her uncleanness. Then she returned to her house and the woman conceived and she went and she sent and told David, I am pregnant. We're going to look at David and we're going to follow that up with Job next. David here sees a woman, wants that woman, and then his buddy tries to help him out. He says, you know what, isn't that,
• 42:40
  Isn't that the wife of Uriah? Isn't that the wife of Uriah? He's a soldier in your army. In fact, this should have recalled back to David's early days that Uriah was actually one of David's mighty men. He was a guy who fought a lot of wars for David. Won a lot of battles for David. He's trying to... Just wait a second. Remember, that's his wife. That guy, one of your good friends. And yet David acts.
• 43:11
  Right? He still acts on this. He acts selfishly. And even though this man tried to bring David to his senses, he still followed through on it. Now, go to Job. Job chapter 31. Some of you guys will know this. Hopefully you've memorized this at some point in your life. Job chapter 31 and verse 1. Job 31.1 says this, I have made a covenant with my eyes. How then could I gaze?
• 43:54
  at a virgin. At this moment in Job's life, he has lost everything. And in fact, is being accused and enticed by his people he would have called friends. He's lost his wealth, his kids, his servants, his cattle, his home, his friends, and his wife. Let's just stop for a moment and I want us to see a contrast between these two men and the promise, the covenant that Job has made with his life.
• 44:29
  and his eyes, and the moment where he makes that, and then go back and look at David. David, as he takes action here, as he acts on his lust, he has everything. He had a wife. In fact, he had many wives at this point. He had wealth. He had children. He had great amounts of livestock and riches. Plainly and explicitly, David could have satisfied his desire.
• 45:00
  for sex with his wife and actually honored God through doing so as the ordained relationship that God has with his wife. Yet, he acts selfishly anyway and allows his lust to lead towards more sinful actions. David had everything. He did not need this. Job, in contrast, at this moment when he says this, I have made a covenant with my eyes, has nothing.
• 45:30
  He has lost his wife. He has lost his wealth. He has lost his servants. He has lost his children. He has lost his livestock. Plainly, Job had lost his wife and had no way of satisfying his God-given desire for companionship with a woman. Yet, he does not use that as an excuse. Rather, he reaffirms his commitment to purity in thought and actions. What?
• 45:59
  An incredible contrast of two men. What an incredible contrast. Guys, our circumstances do not matter in this situation. In this struggle against this, in this war against this, this battle for our minds, our circumstances are not an excuse. Job stood firm and strong. It's not a fun topic to consider. It's not a fun topic we like to confess with each other. Brothers, may we be mindful and aware of the killers.
• 46:37
  These are killers. These will destroy relationships. These will destroy our ability to love each other, to love our wives, to love our kids, to love our work, to love our co-workers. These are killers. May we value the relationship we have with Christ and look to His example on this earth to encourage us to live out our faith humbly with passion.
• 47:12
  For it is His will, His desires, not ours. Right? May we not act on our sinful desires. May we not act as Lot did, selfishly. I want us to consider three things. I've got a few questions at the bottom there. I want you guys to talk over these three words that we studied. What have you struggled with the most? What is something that you are struggling with, brothers? Share with one another.
• 47:43
  On the flip side, let's consider those three words that we looked at, anger, selfishness, and lust, and let's share a victory. Let's share a victory with each other, right? Let's encourage one another. This is possible. God does not bring these things forth and call us to act differently without giving us the strength and opportunity to do differently. The power of the Holy Spirit lives within us, and His truth is real. His power is real, and thus we can have victory. Let's share with each other those times.
• 48:11
  where we were tempted to be angered, where we were tempted to act selfishly, where we were tempted to lust, and we did not. And then lastly, I just want us to consider, what does it look like to live selfishly, and why is it so hard not to? Why is it so hard for us not to do that? Let's pray. Father in heaven, God, we thank you for this time. I pray that you would be with the conversations at the table, God. I pray that you would give us the strength to share honestly with one another.
• 48:45
  God, that we would share our hearts, that we might encourage one another, that we might be strengthened, that we might sharpen one another. I pray these things in your name. Amen.