Latest / The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast / S3 #2 Being Single Kinda Sucks

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S3 #2 Being Single Kinda Sucks · The Ben and Ashley I Almost Famous Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This is the Ben and Ashley I almost Famous podcast
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: with our radio. Hey, welcome back. I'm Ben and I'm
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: Ashley and this is the almost Famous podcast. We have
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: a really big episode for you all this week. I mean,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: this is this is huge, and I guess I want
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: to start out there's been some things weighing on Ashley
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: and I, uh this week. Um, and so actually I
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: just want to give you a little time here to
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: to speak on it. Yeah. So we did an interview
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: last week, and for the first time in our four
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: months of doing this podcast, we got a lot of strong,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: sometimes harsh, sometimes mad and upset comments at us that
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: weren't on email forum. Some of them were on forums,
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  Speaker 1: and UM, we were just we're just a little confused. Um.
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  Speaker 1: We know we were tough in this particular interview, but
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: we really wanted to come off as a discussion. I
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: really just thought I was putting my opinions out there.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: I think Amy and Ben felt the same way. I
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: didn't personally feel like I was being mean a bully.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: I certainly don't think I was being a bully. I
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  Speaker 1: think in this very sensitive culture we live in today,
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: people sometimes jump and accuse a conversation or an adult
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: argument as bullying, but really it's just an argument and
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: it's a disagreement, but it doesn't mean that there's any
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: like ill will in it. So we asked tough questions.
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  Speaker 1: We presented I felt like all sides. But let me
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  Speaker 1: know if if you do think that we are really
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  Speaker 1: too sweet. I really do feel like I defended and
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: disagreed with the person at the same time. And I
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  Speaker 1: like to think of myself. I know, like some of
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: you may may call me out on this and you're
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: gonna be like, actually, that's a ridiculous do you have
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  Speaker 1: a podcast talking about the Bachelor? But I think of
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: myself as a journalist. I have my masters in it,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: Like this is what I was trained to do. So
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  Speaker 1: when I go into an interview with somebody, I'm not
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  Speaker 1: going to be afraid to ask what I think that
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: the listeners want me to ask, like sometimes the scary
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: questions because that so it makes an interesting conversation. We
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: don't always want to be fluffy and lighthearted. We want
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: to do that most of the time. Like my job
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: is to like make you guys smile. I think that
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: Ben and I feel like you want to come see
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: the Alost day as podcast like get some dirt, to
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: get some gossip here about your favorite show and the
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: people involved with it. But I don't think you need
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: like a whole lot of aggression, And I don't think
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: we intended to do that last week. But I just
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  Speaker 1: want you to know that when we we asked those
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: type questions, I was thinking of myself as a journalist,
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: and I I hope it didn't come across to too
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: many people like it was hostile. And there was a
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: campaign that was started this week to go on our
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: iTunes page and to give the almost famous podcast bad
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: reviews because of this discussion argument. I don't think it
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  Speaker 1: was bullying, and I'm gonna I'm gonna stay strong to that.
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I definitely don't think this is bullying. Um. I think
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: if you want to point out something in the bachelor
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  Speaker 1: community that was bullying, I think calling scallop a girl
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: scalop fingers behind her her face, you know, behind her back,
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  Speaker 1: was probably more bullying. That was like with mal intent,
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: that was making fun of someone in ill will. Um.
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  Speaker 1: I think this is just an adult conversation and some
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: people wished we felt differently. Anyway, So if you like
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: our podcast or if you don't like our podcasts, but
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: if you like it and you want us to continue,
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: and we really want to continue. But if if it's
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: not fun anymore, there's gonna be less intent, Like, there's
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: gonna be less incentive for us to want to continue.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: So we would love to read all of your reviews
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: on our iTunes page, So please go give us some stars,
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: give us some written reviews. We appreciate all your thoughts,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: and don't forget that if you do have like a
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: big opinion you want to share with us, it is
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Ben and Ashley at I heart media dot com, and
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: show us the love if you have it for us. Yeah. So, um,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: kind of piggyback on what Ashley was saying, Uh, I
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  Speaker 1: guess personally, um, just after last week's episode, it does
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  Speaker 1: and I think actually just said it kind of sucked
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  Speaker 1: the fun out of this and and I and I'm
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  Speaker 1: totally uh in agreement with some of the points raised that, Uh,
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  Speaker 1: this podcast should never be about bringing somebody down or
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  Speaker 1: putting somebody down, or making somebody feel less than Um,
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  Speaker 1: that's not what I want to do this for. Honestly,
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  Speaker 1: it's it would be the last thing and I don't
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: and I do think last week in the interview, we
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: got closer to that than we ever have. And I
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  Speaker 1: think Lash and I have both learned a lesson to
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: to continue to hopefully pick people up to um talk
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: about these scenaris that are happening in the backward because
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: let's be honest, a lot of them are funny, and
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: a lot of them hopefully we can all make fun
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: of ourselves and we can be self deprecating and um,
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: you know, we we've gone TV to date and at
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  Speaker 1: some level that's just humorous. But we never want to
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  Speaker 1: personally hurt anybody. And somebody was obviously personally hurt after
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: coming on our show. And and I want to just apologize,
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: even if we believe that we we we said everything
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: um that we wanted to say, and we were trying
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: to just share the story and to get to the
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  Speaker 1: bottom of what this whole instagram posted about. I do
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  Speaker 1: want to apologize on behalf of this podcast that we
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  Speaker 1: hurt somebody. UM, that's not what we want to do,
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  Speaker 1: and we're not going to do it from here and out.
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  Speaker 1: And and so as we moved forward, UM to anybody
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: out there that was contacted to to put a negative
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  Speaker 1: comment on Reddit or anybody was contacted to to put
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: a negative comment on our social media. It hurt, and
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  Speaker 1: it hurts pretty bad. Um. But Bet and I were
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: really stressed out about it all week, and we both
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: listened back to the podcast because we were getting some
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: heat and we were just a little bit confused because
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: we knew it was a harsher like it is more
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: serious tone podcast than usual, but we both were kind
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: of at a loss as to what all this bullying,
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  Speaker 1: all the bullying accusations were about. So we both went
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: back and listened to it, and I honestly, I am
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: very confused where we're getting such harsh backlash. I can
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  Speaker 1: understand you saying like, oh, I didn't like your tone there,
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: or like who wow, you really feel strongly on that side,
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  Speaker 1: But I don't know where you're getting the bullying from. UM.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: It's like, would you call Barbara Walters, Megan Kelly, Diane Sawyer?
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Would you call them bullies in the middle of an
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: Airson as an example, because he's in the Bachelor World,
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: I guess really tough questions on the you know, after
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: the final rows and all those things, and he's not
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: being a bully, just asking the questions that the listeners want.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: So I don't want you guys to be afraid to
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: say what you think. That's what this show is about.
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: And also for the people listening. They wrote us emails
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: to talk about this topic more than we've gotten on
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: any other topic. So you know, I don't want you
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: guys to be to censor yourselves too much. I think
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: what is really good about you guys is how you
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: present such a fair perspective. Yeah, just just I mean,
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: no matter what happened to what we said was right
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: or wrong or what, that is not the issue that's indifferent, right, UM.
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  Speaker 1: I I want to apologize for hurting somebody. I want
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: to believe that Danielle was actually hurt by the I mean,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: if she's going to come out and in public and
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: say she was hurt by this, then she was hurt.
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  Speaker 1: And I want to I want to address that and
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  Speaker 1: say I'm sorry, like I didn't mean to hurt her.
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  Speaker 1: And and even if we didn't mean to, and even
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  Speaker 1: if we still feel like the things we said weren't
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: as harsh as what maybe um are being communicated, we
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  Speaker 1: still hurt somebody, and so we want to apologize to her.
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  Speaker 1: That wasn't our intent. That's not how we feel about
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  Speaker 1: her as a person. It's not what we think about
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  Speaker 1: her as a person. It's not what we want others
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: to think about her as a person. We don't want
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: anybody to feel negative by coming on this show. And
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: so if that's the end of this, if if you know,
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: if she wants to talk to us personally, we've we
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: we have reached out to her um off of this,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: just to just to talk with her and tell her, hey,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: you know what. At the end of the day, Danielle,
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  Speaker 1: like I was more confused by the post because I
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: thought it was saying she wasn't beautiful, and I think
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  Speaker 1: she's gorgeous. And so that's maybe why I came in condescending,
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: because I just didn't know the post um. But at
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: the end of the day, somebody's hurt, that's what we want,
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: and it's not what we're gonna have happened for me
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: on now. And so with that, let's move into some
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: of these emails that we received this week asking us
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: to talk about this, because we did, you know, we
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  Speaker 1: talked about with Danielle on the last week's episode, Because
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  Speaker 1: we did get a lot of emails UH sent into
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: us asking Hey, what's up with this post to her
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: and Dean still dating? You know what's going on with this?
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: So we talked about it and this week we we
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  Speaker 1: had some follow up emails. Actually want to run through those. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I just want to elaborate when he said what Ben said, UM,
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  Speaker 1: if we whatever we did to offend anyone out there,
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  Speaker 1: we do want to know specifically what that is so
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: that we can be better and we could never act
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  Speaker 1: that way again. All right, So this email is from Sarah.
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  Speaker 1: She says, Hi, guys, I think you guys were a
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: little bit hard on Danielle L for her caption about
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: feeling like her beauty has hurt her reputation. During the
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: whole conversation, I thought back to the movie Legally Blonde,
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: which is a cinematic masterpiece, and I do completely agree
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  Speaker 1: with you, Sarah. It has inspired me in so many ways. Um.
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  Speaker 1: I almost went to law school because of l Woods. UM.
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  Speaker 1: I think what Danielle L was trying to make a
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: point of was that she was very sexualized on Paradise
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  Speaker 1: and she never was edited to have any depth or
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: even a brain. I'm have you guys got her on
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: to listen to her side, but I felt like I
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: could really explain what she meant in more detail, and
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: hopefully you guys will bring up this issue next week. Overall,
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: huge fan of the show, but I need you guys
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: to understand how deep of an issue this really is
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: and it affects multiple women. Okay, well, I wish we
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: had Sarah's numbers so we could call her. We can
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: try emailing her all right now. This is from Brianna.
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: Brianna says, Hi, Benn and Ashley, I do not understand
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: why hundreds of people seem to be so outraged over
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: last week's episode. You guys simply stayed your opinion on
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: the del Dean situation. This is your podcast and you
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: should be allowed to give your opinions and speak your mind.
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: Please do not apologize. You should never have to apologize
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: for sharing your opinion on your podcast. And I agree
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: with you, Brianna. To the listeners, I think that you
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: all should take a chill pill. It is okay to
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: hear opinions that differ from your own. Thank you, thank you,
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: thank you, Brianna. This is a part of growing up.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: In fact, you should want to live in a world
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: where you are surrounded by different opinions and different perspectives.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: A life would be boring if we were all living
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: in an echo chamber. Benn and Nashley, I love this
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: podcast because you share unfiltered conversations with us and you
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: do give us an insider's perspective on things. Please don't change.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: That's why I continue to listen. Love you guys, Brianna,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Brianna. Um, interviews aren't meant to just be
• 10:37
  Speaker 1: sucking up together person. It's just like to get information
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: and to get a different person's perspective and thoughts on
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: a certain matter. Yeah, yeah, I mean I can't disagree
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: with you. I definitely don't want to have a podcast
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: or I just don't have a little life where I
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: agree with everybody and everything. Um, I don't think that
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: helps us progress forward. I don't think it helps me
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: as a person, and I don't think it helps out
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: my relationships around me. But um again, I just go
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: back to if somebody was hurt, and when somebody can
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: expresses me that I have hurt them, I don't want
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: to look at them and say, no, I did it.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: You know that's not true. I said everything I should
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: have said. I don't want to be that that person.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: So so I say is that if you if I
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: hurt you by something I did, then I then I
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: need to take that in. I need to let that
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: sink in. I need to see what I did wrong
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: and hear what I did wrong and and feel it
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: because I don't want to live a life of hurting
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: somebody either. So that's my lesson. You know, I'm getting new.
• 11:29
  Speaker 1: I'm new to this thing. Like I'm four months into
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: this podcast. I'm not used to talking for a living.
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: I'm used to talking a lot and talking to anybody
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: to listen, but I'm not used to talking for a living.
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: And and when there's when there's a controversial situation that's
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: brought up, or there's a lot of questions that listeners
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: are sending in to us about a topic that they're
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: fired up about, I guess I need to get better
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: at communicating the story and then asking those questions to
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: not add my perspective and add my opinion, but to
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: get the real um to get to the conclusion. And
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: so um, I'm listening, I'm hearing all this stuff this week,
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: and I'm hearing the comments made that uh that you know,
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: I should have stood up and and I am not
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: the person I say am and that's things really hurt. UM,
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: But I'm I guess I can only agree to try
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: to get better. All right, we're gonna move on. Now,
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: let's put this in the past. UM. Today we have
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: our good friend Nick viall on. He'll be in studio
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: any minute now, and we all store opening the phones
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: so we can talk about anything you guys want, including
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: last week's controversial interview. UM. Call in at eight three
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: three Ben b n N and that is an end.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: Oh you guys, let me not read the initials. It
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: is eight three three two three six six to seven four.
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: But first, Ben, I know that you want to be
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: able to see Nick as clearly as possible. Yeah, I do.
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And and because it makes a beautiful human, UM, great looking, UM,
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: better spoken. So let's see how he does in this podcast.
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: But I want to talk to you about a sponsor
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• 13:12
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  Speaker 1: E Contacts dot com. Hey, Nick, thank you for joining
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Almost Famous podcast. You came in on the perfect day. Uh.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you stepping in here. I know um that
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: your life is incredibly busy, so please catch us up.
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: What are you up today? How are you doing and
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: how is life? Um? Well, thank you first of all
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: for having me been. I wish you were here in
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: the studio and Ashley and Ashley. Yes, I get to
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: see you morning. I get to see you Ben. Um.
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: Is this a three part question? Yeah, it's gonna be.
• 15:23
  Speaker 1: The first part of the question is how you do it?
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm hanging in. You know, I'm fine. You've
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: been doing a lot of traveling. Oh, keeping towns always,
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: I mean your your Dallas. I was in Dallas, visiting
• 15:36
  Speaker 1: a good friend of mine who recently moved there for work,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: and I haven't had a chance to see him, so
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: I just went there and had a lonely guys weekend.
• 15:45
  Speaker 1: It's just to him and I. You went to Charlene's
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: wedding and Chris Souls was there. I went to Charlene's wedding.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: It was lovely. I love very deeply both Charlene and
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: her husband Andy to the greatest people, UM ever, and
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: it was really great to be able to celebrate that
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: ceremony with them, and it was a lovely wedding. Nick,
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: You've been obviously traveling a lot. We get that. So
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: I'm I can relate with you in a lot of
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: ways right now, right so you're not talking to somebody
• 16:14
  Speaker 1: that hasn't been there. But how are you? I mean,
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: I know you see you're doing good, but outside of
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: the relationship, because I know that's not always the most
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: fun thing to talk about, And if you want to
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: bring it up, that's great, if if not, just how
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: are you holding up? Has it been a tough little
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: season of life. Do you feel like it needed to happen? Um?
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: Coming out of this as a man? Where are you
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: at well. I mean, I don't know if I felt
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: like it needed to happen, but um, you know it
• 16:35
  Speaker 1: kind of is what it is. Um, yeah, I know
• 16:38
  Speaker 1: you kind of we talked kind of briefly offline about
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: when you know, both of us kind of went through
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: this experience. I mean it's like never fun, right, I mean,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I don't know, being a single kind of sucks. Um,
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: but you know, what can you do? And so you
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: know I've always been the internal optimist of of of
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: pushing forward. So um yeah, I mean I don't know,
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: I'm fine, what can you do? I mean I think
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: that's the right way to look at it. It's not
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: always the easiest way to look at it. I think
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I remember looking back and saying kind of saying the
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: same thing is, you know, this happened if I wanted
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: to happen, if I didn't want to happen, no matter what,
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: it happened. And so now I look at life and
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: I say, what is it for me on now? And
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: there's nothing I can do but but look forward. I
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: can't look back because if I look back, it just
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: kind of keeps me standing still. I mean, yeah, I
• 17:30
  Speaker 1: mean I think every relationship I mean everyone you know
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: outside of this interesting world that we've all been a
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: part of. Um, you know, every relationship is it can
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: be you know, has its Obviously, relationships can be great
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: and lovely and amazing, and if they don't work out, um,
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: you just kind of have to get through it. And
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: I guess, um, you know, there's two two great things
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: that I've as I've gotten older, I've learned to try
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: to appreciate in life, and that is having perspective, um,
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: and you know, understanding that like all things kind of
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: are relative, you know, like you know, when things happen
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: to you know, touch us as an individuals, it feels
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: like a big deal and it can be kind of
• 18:14
  Speaker 1: self indulgent. And UM, I think the more you experience life,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: whether it's something that works out or it doesn't, you
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: you get greater perspective from it. And so I think
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: that's all you can do is try to to learn
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: from each experience. And um, you know, I think in
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: these times it's kind of very easy to you know,
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: get down yourself or let your insecurities kind of pop
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: up and and try to, um, you know, get down yourself.
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: But you try to then reflect back on you know,
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: your experiences before and and and try to have some
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: perspective about it. And UM, the more experiences you have,
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: and I've certainly had a few, um, you can you know,
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: try to use that to to move forward and UM,
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: you know, just go from there. I remember during being
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: in that same kind of time of life that you're
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: sitting in right now, and you know, you get a
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: lot of opinions and uh, you know, you can get
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: a lot of actions on what happened or who failed
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: and um or what failed in it and it you know,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: it hurts, you know anytime people express those like really
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: deep seated, like they kind of bring out your insecurities. UM.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: It stings, especially in a time where your heart is
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: already like very raw and open and kind of broken. UM.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: And So I can I can do, I can feel,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: I can relate with you. And then I guess, but
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: one thing, and I want to know if you feel
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: the same way, and I don't want to speak for you,
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: but one thing I learned, or I guess i've as
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: I've looked back on it is as my heart was
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: broken during that time and as I was very um
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: open emotionally, I learned so much more about myself and
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: so now I can look back and say, hey, this
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: situation was not ideal the way it turned out. It
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: wasn't what I was hoping for, but I've learned so
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: much more about myself coming out of it. I mean, yeah,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: I mean kind of what I just you know, mentioned before,
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: just and that's kind of getting getting that perspective. Um.
• 19:59
  Speaker 1: You know, when you experience something, you know, whether it's
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: good or bad, it's again, I'm always important to reflect
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: and then hopefully you do learn something about yourself or
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: just life or or situations. Um. And yeah, I mean
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: that's kind of you know, obviously, Ben, you know a
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: lot about this and you know, even Ashley like whether
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: it's you know, you know, from a relations standpoint. Obviously,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: we've chosen to be a part of this world and
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: we open ourselves up to to criticism sometimes. I mean,
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: I caught the tail end of your last segment, and
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: you know, sometimes I get surprised with with people who
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: are so quick to you know, share their thoughts but
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: unwilling to get criticism. Um. You know, and I think
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: we have to accept that as people who have chosen
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: to be a part of this and it's never fun. Um.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: You know, and having said that, obviously, when you it's
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: a weird experience. Um. You know, when you two people are,
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of at their lowest and trying to
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: make the right decisions for each other and his individuals
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: to even have to consider, you know, what people might
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: say or what people might assume, and um, we just
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: kind of chosen to try to keep that as private
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: as possible. Um. You know, um, which sometimes you know,
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: it sucks because you know, obviously if people will always
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: assume certain things that they want or whatever. But you know,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: what are you gonna do? Um. You know, I'm always
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: thankful for my time. I have no regrets, and um,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: you know, it was it was just one of those
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: things that you know, you you hoped worked out. But
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: you know, I think when you get asked to to
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: be the Bachelor, I mean I know when I got asked.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, my my first thought was I was kind
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: of sick to my stomach because of the pressure of
• 21:44
  Speaker 1: of working out and not working out. You know, every
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: every situation is different. Um, but I'm sure every lead
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: to a certain extent feels those emotions. You know. For myself,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: I was certainly self aware of the fact that um,
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: the number of attempts on this show would be emphasized, um,
• 22:04
  Speaker 1: you know, to the point where you know, four times
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: a charm, charm and I kind of guessed that would
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: be some sort of theme and you know, something I
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: had to accept. And so you don't, you know, you
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: don't know what's going to happen. You don't know that
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: the women who will get out of the limo, and
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: as great as they might be, you don't know if
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: any of them will be compatible for you, if there
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: will be any connection. Then I think your greatest fear, um,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: is it not working out? And you know, for me,
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: that was a big fear of mine, a big weight
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: on my shoulders and something that I really experienced, um
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: all the way through. And you know, I don't for
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: those who may or may not remember, you know, my season,
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: you know, my first one on one day with Vanessa
• 22:44
  Speaker 1: was you know, I got emotional really early. It was
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: kind of like, why is he getting emotionals? And for
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: me it was you know, obviously I had such a
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: great day with Vanessa that day, but I finally felt
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: a lot of relief in that moment that it could
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: work out. And you know, whether it was you know,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Vanessa and I had a pretty good idea that it
• 22:59
  Speaker 1: might be at that point because I had such a
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: great day. Um, you know, you just feel that huge
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: relief and so um, you still don't know, and obviously
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: there's a lot to come even after the show has
• 23:10
  Speaker 1: done on filming, as as we all know. And yeah,
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: I'm I'll always be very incredibly envious for those who
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: have been a part of this world and been able
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: to have a successful relationship. I'm very very envious to
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: those people. Um and um, you know, unfortunately I wasn't
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: one of them. And what do you do? And I
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: mean you said it beast like that is a huge fear.
• 23:37
  Speaker 1: I remember thinking the same thing as it started. Remember
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: on my first one on one day with Lauren, that
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: emotion did come over me as well. Is I remember
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: when when I used to tell people when I first
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: knew that you know, she was somebody special. Um, it
• 23:51
  Speaker 1: is released because you're I remember being so nervous as
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: this one was pulled up that everybody was going to
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: be crazy and then I was going to be stuck
• 23:58
  Speaker 1: at the end of this questioning myself even more. Um
• 24:01
  Speaker 1: so we we I think. I mean, I'm grateful for
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: the experience I had and and for the for the
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: people that I've met during it. I want to ask you, UM,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: are you do you ever regret doing not regret because
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: I know you you You're somebody doesn't regret a lot
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: and you learn from a lot. Are you happy that
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: you did the Bachelor? UM? I mean, if I have
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: to get a yes no answer, of course you know
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: I'm happy. UM. I don't particularly mean I love those
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: types of questions because there's so many variables that go
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: into it. But I am not. I'm not someone who
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: who is ever going to regret anything I do, because
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I am someone who's such a big believer in perspective. UM.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: And you only get perspective through experiencing life, and that
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: doesn't mean all those experiences end up being the outcome
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: that you want. UM. And obviously this experience has given
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: me a lot of perspective and taught me about myself.
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: That's not to say that it hasn't, UM. You know,
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: like at this point in my life, you know, there's
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: a lot of unknowns, you know, certainly not ex I
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: didn't necessarily expect to be in the position that I am,
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: you know, like from a personal standpoint, relationship wise, but
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: I also still have a lot to be thankful for,
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: and I am very thankful for what I've gained from it,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: and I've gained certainly still a lot of great relationships
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: with friends, and I still was able to have some
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: incredible experiences and memories with Vanessa that will always cherish. Um.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: But it's not to say they don't have, like, you know,
• 25:26
  Speaker 1: insecurities and and kind of things that where do I
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: go from here in my life? And you know, the
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: show itself, I think can kind of leave you sometimes
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: a little scarred in terms of, you know, you know,
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: from a dating standpoint. I don't know if you guys
• 25:39
  Speaker 1: are talking like what are you some of your big
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: insecurities about dating? Are we all single? I was just
• 25:43
  Speaker 1: gonna say, um, I remember when Lauren and Ben broke
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: up and he was talking about how daunting just jumping
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: back into dating would be, and the fact that like
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: all three, right, all of us are just like such lovers,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: Like we're not somebody who's like if we don't get married,
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: not a big deal. Like all of us like want
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: to be with someone. You know, we are romantics. Yeah,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: I mean, you know, as I got older, you know,
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: growing up in my early twenties and having the parents
• 26:08
  Speaker 1: that I had and who got married in early twenties,
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: and you know, UM, I always wanted to emulate that.
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: As I got older, and you know, I hadn't settled
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: down yet, I learned the value of trying to appreciate
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: where it was in life. So if I was in
• 26:22
  Speaker 1: a relationship grade if I wasn't, you know, I didn't
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: want to jump in a relationship just to have someone
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: to chill with on Sundays, so to speak. You know, UM,
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: And I think there's a lot of value and being
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: comfortable with being with yourself, right. I don't think you
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: really can give yourself fully to someone unless you're you're
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: comfortable with being alone, you know. Um, and you know,
• 26:43
  Speaker 1: but at this point, you know, um, you know, having
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: all said that it would have been nice to have
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: someone um in my life that you know, I can
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: I know there's a future with so to speak. Um,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: And yeah, I think coming out of this world. You know,
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know how how Ben feels about this, but um,
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: you kind of don't know what what it's like. I mean,
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: I'm nowhere close to dating at this point, but you
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: you don't know what that looks like. Right, Um, it's
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: just weird when you think, like, oh, I, in my
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: mind I was going to be with this person forever
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: and now all those like sort of fantasies are crushed,
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: and now I have to start all over again in
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: this process. Yeah. I mean there's that. That's the obvious one.
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: There's I mean, like I suppose when it comes to
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: for me, if I'm being totally you know, candid for
• 27:38
  Speaker 1: you guys friends of show, Um, I I suppose my
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: greatest insecureing it comes to dating is you know, it's
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: not the ability to like meet women or you know,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: and there's a lot of wonderful, beautiful, great women out there. Um,
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: it's just my I think my biggest insecurity is that
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: the the women or say a woman that I might
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: find myself to be interested in, I all the insecurity
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: that I won't get the opportunity to get to know
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: them out of fear of kind of being prejudged about
• 28:13
  Speaker 1: my experiences. I've been so willing to kind of put
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: out there over the past few years, like I've never
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: doubted my confidence in my ability if I get an
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: opportunity to talk to someone having to get to know me.
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: But my fear is insecurity is that, UM, I might
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: be prejudged about, you know, like here's this guy who's like, dude,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: you how many times you go on this show, and like,
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: you know at this perception that I might have a
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: lot of baggage or something like that. And I don't
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: personally think I do. I mean, it's not to say
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: I don't have things, but like I guess I just
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: have some insecures that I feel like the person I'll
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: be interested in might not be interested in me. Whoever
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: that is, I don't know, um, and how will I
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: be able to overcome that or will I even get
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: the opportunity? Um, you know, And so I don't know.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that makes any sense. No, that's
• 28:56
  Speaker 1: very honest, and I think for me, I sort of relate.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: I think we've talked about this in the podcast before.
• 29:01
  Speaker 1: Because the whole virginity topic is out there, I feel
• 29:04
  Speaker 1: like I won't get to know certain people that I
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: want to get to know because they won't consider me
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: an option because of that that thing I come along
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: with still the vision I'm gonna asked you in a while,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: there's a serious question. I don't know. I don't. I
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: don't keep literally like this is like five weeks ago.
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: It is actually insane. But despite that, I don't ask
• 29:24
  Speaker 1: you about your sexual life hanging out probably although I
• 29:30
  Speaker 1: feel like you'll be one of the first people to know.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: I feel like if it ever happens, it'll probably just
• 29:34
  Speaker 1: be obvious like that five days of the summer, the
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: world will stop for a little bit. It will be beautiful,
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: be this badass boss lady, just so much way. I
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: want you to answer this as you feel comfortable. Um,
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: but can you talk to us a little bit and
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: even to trade really with the list are is out
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: there for people have gone through breakup? What happened? And
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: how do you handle a breakup? Well? Moving on, moving forward? Well,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I mean as far as what happened, I'm going to
• 30:09
  Speaker 1: keep that between you know, mess I just respect for her. Um,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: you know what you know, all I can say is
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: kind of what it's already been out there is that
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: and I'm you know, I know Ben, you and I
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: have had this conversation, is that, Um, I think those
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: heartbreaking thing about it, I think that we both feel
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: is just knowing how much we both really tried and
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: the efforts we put into it, and um, I think
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: it's easy to ask yourself a lot of questions about
• 30:37
  Speaker 1: certain things and just maybe accepting that, um, it just
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: wasn't gonna work. Um, but I know we both really tried.
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: And that's sometimes it's heartbreaking in an in of itself. Uh,
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: to have so much love and respect for each other
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: m and just unable to find that you know that
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: m M, that whatever you want to call it, that
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: ability to just um make it work. And so um
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: you know where you go from here? Um, you know,
• 31:13
  Speaker 1: you just keep going. You just wake up, get out
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: of bed. You know. Oh, I know that feeling. It's
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: the worse feeling, like that waking up after like heartbreak.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Isn't the waking up part the worse, right, I mean
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: those those emotions when you get like when you know,
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: like that anxiety you feel and then like sometimes you
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: go to about out up your exhaustion and you wake
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: up and then your body just fills up with things
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: like it legit fills up overnight and then you get
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: through the day, but then you wake up again and
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: you just have to let it drain out again. Yeah,
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: I mean I again, I've I think the important thing
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: for me is I just try to. I get anxiety
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: all the time, and I'm not even talking about like,
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: you know, when relationship ends. But um, I mean I
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: get it like all the time most of the um um.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: And so I but I do find sometimes that when
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: I most feeling the most anxiety, UM, I kind of tried.
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: I realized that sometimes I'm focusing too much on myself,
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: I think, which we all conduce to a certain and
• 32:15
  Speaker 1: that's something that like I'm trying to be selfish or whatever.
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: I'm just like, I think it's very easy to like,
• 32:20
  Speaker 1: you know, there's a balance between being self reflective and
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: just constantly thinking about yourself, like where I'm in my life,
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: like when if I am not going to meet someone else,
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: you know, all those things that you think about when
• 32:29
  Speaker 1: you say, for example, end of relationship or you know,
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: maybe it's your job or day to day um. And
• 32:36
  Speaker 1: it's very easy to like, you know, whether you're maybe
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: you're someone who might be strungly with money or finances
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: or whatever it is that you know through life. I
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: always find that when I have the most anxiety, I'm
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: I'm thinking about all these things where I'm worrying, and
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: I try to balance that with not thinking about myself.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: So I try to, like, you know, ask more questions
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: of people, you know, my family check in. Maybe it's
• 32:58
  Speaker 1: you know, whether it's a volun tearing thing or whether
• 33:00
  Speaker 1: it's just um not thinking about you, you know, because
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: sometimes you just need to get out of your own head,
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: which I struggle with sometimes. And when I do that,
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: I find that I have a little less anxiety. Um.
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: And I think that's important sometimes for me. Right now,
• 33:15
  Speaker 1: it's it's just things are going to happen, you know,
• 33:18
  Speaker 1: and no matter, no amount of of worrying about it
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: is really going to change anything. Um. And so it's
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: it's one thing to be stuff where it's another thing
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: to let your insecurities and kind of cripple you and
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: have you filed anxiety every day? And so um, those
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: things I've I've learned over time and it's still hard
• 33:35
  Speaker 1: to implement, but I try to on a daily business.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: It's uh, it's crazy Nick listening to you. I mean
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: you you've always been you know, and I don't just
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: mean this to pump you up a bit, but you
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: have been a man that is so thoughtful and you
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: are very self you know, self aware, So you do
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: get into your own head a lot. You live in
• 33:55
  Speaker 1: your own head a lot, and that allows you then
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: to communicate your thoughts very easily and clearly. And I'm
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: listening to you and I'm like, oh, man, that's exactly
• 34:02
  Speaker 1: I felt, or oh he's speaking, you know. I just
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: want to be like I can really, I can really
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: I felt that way. I felt that way. I've been
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: there to as you talk, um, but the truth of
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: it is, it's just not ideal, and you do have
• 34:14
  Speaker 1: to move forward. And I think as I'm listening to
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: I'm I'm like just getting just thinking back on my
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: experience to this. And then one of the hardest parts,
• 34:23
  Speaker 1: and I don't know if you felt this way at all,
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: is um, you live in this world right after the
• 34:27
  Speaker 1: show and during the show with somebody that you really
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: care about and that you fall in love with, and
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: you have some of the best memories that you know
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: you'll probably have for the rest of your life. You live,
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: you do some of the coolest experiences, you meet some
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: of the best people with this person by your side,
• 34:38
  Speaker 1: and then that ends, and then life is kind of
• 34:40
  Speaker 1: wide open and you no longer have that person by
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: your side, and you're doing all these experiences now alone
• 34:45
  Speaker 1: and without somebody there to share them with, and without
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: somebody there to build a life with, and and for
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: me personally, that's the moments my insecurities really started to
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: rise because I thought, once again, hey, you know what,
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna keep doing this, Like I gotta get really
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: comfortable being alone because this is my life, this is
• 35:00
  Speaker 1: this is this is who I'm going to be. Um
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: And it sounds like you're at a place right now
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: where I guess what I'm trying to get to is
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: are you moving forward? Are you still just trying to
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: figure it out? Uh? I guess neither. I mean always forward,
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: I suppose. I mean I'm always gonna try to move forward.
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: But like right now, I'm just kind of a point
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: in my life where, you know, it's still relatively recent,
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: so I'm not trying to force it right. You just
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: kind of have to let it happen. I get what
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: you're saying, Like I'm not. I've spent like two your
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: when we sort of I've spent a lot of my
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: time recently, Like you know, I went home to Chicago
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: to do my fantasy football draft with my hotel friends,
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: and I went back to Milwaukee and hung out with
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: my family. Then I came back here for a little bit.
• 35:47
  Speaker 1: Then I went to New York for a wedding and
• 35:49
  Speaker 1: saw some friends there, and then I went to Dallas
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: to just visit a buddy, right, And so it's been
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: a lot of that. Um. I've gone out, um to
• 35:59
  Speaker 1: the you know, the bars or whatever a few times
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: in those moments, and that's a struggle, UM, just because
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: you know, it's you don't know how to for me.
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: I guess I suppose I don't know how to handle
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: myself fromtimes. I don't know how you felt, Ben, But
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: sometimes at the level of paranoia, um of you know,
• 36:19
  Speaker 1: everyone's got a camera phone. You just kind of want
• 36:20
  Speaker 1: to hang with your friends, but you know, obviously some
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: people might ask to take a picture, so you want
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: to be polite, but you you don't want to give
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: up there. You don't want to give the wrong impression. UM.
• 36:29
  Speaker 1: And so sometimes, UM, I getting you know, I've got
• 36:32
  Speaker 1: an anxiety about that. So I've just tried to lay
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: low a little bit, you know. So I haven't really
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: got to the moment. I haven't experienced a ton of things.
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: I mean, obviously going to the wedding, UM, it was
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: you know, weird in a sense because I went by myself,
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: but it was also I was so happy for Charlene
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: and Andy, um and just so excited about the relationship
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: that Um, I saw a lot of fun and I'm
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: talking about UM. You know what helps is like, you know,
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: that particular day, it would have been easy for me
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: to been like, well, I'm not a wedding by myself, Um,
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: that sucks. I was just more excited for Andy and
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Charlene uh and and focused on why I was there,
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: and that day wasn't about me. It was about them,
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: And you know that helped. And I had a lot
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: of fun just being able to share that experience with them.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: And so it's just little things like that that that
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: helped me deal with some of those things. UM. But yeah, sure, certainly,
• 37:28
  Speaker 1: like as you go out, there's always gonna be moments
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: where it's just like, well, that would have been really nice,
• 37:32
  Speaker 1: um to share this with someone. But UM, you know,
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: what what can you do? I think you take everyone
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: who goes and this world takes a risk. Obviously, if
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: you're the bad the bachelor of the batch sharrette, it's
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: a little bit bigger of a risk in terms of
• 37:51
  Speaker 1: how much you commit to the possibility of really trying
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: to find that person and being so emotionally open and
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: willing to take a huge leap of faith. UM, and
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: that's not fun to try to except that it didn't
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: work out. And that's like what I said before, It's
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: just like, UM, some I get very jealous and envious
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: sometimes when I you know, social media and you see
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: all the couples who UM, who have been lucky enough
• 38:17
  Speaker 1: to to have it work out. UM, you know, and
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: so there's always gonna be criticisms about like, you know,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: why you did it, or if you'd really tried, or
• 38:27
  Speaker 1: if you took it seriously. That's something I take very
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: personal in terms of you know, but you can't react.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: I mean you always see comments sometimes even from people
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: in the franchise UM who have been lucky enough for
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: it to work. It's sometimes disappointing to UM sometimes imply UM,
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: because they've been so lucky, they might UM be more sincere.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: But you know, what can you do? UM? You know?
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: Like for example, I don't I knew a little bit
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: about your relationship with with Lauren Ben and again, and
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: we talked about this. The one thing I always knew
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: from you, is that how much you focus on that relation,
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: how much you tried, Did you guys make every decisi
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: and that was rightfuloration? I don't know, you know, no
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: one ever does. But sometimes it's a little it hurts
• 39:04
  Speaker 1: a little better sometimes a little frustrating for sometimes people
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: to make those comments. But what can you do? Um?
• 39:10
  Speaker 1: Vanessa and I both know how hard we worked on
• 39:13
  Speaker 1: our relationship and how much we focused on it and
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: how much we still mean to each other. Um, and
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: I think those are the things that we really focus on.
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: H Yeah, I mean, you're right. It's it's crazy how
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: um I was. You know, when I was with Lauren,
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: I was almost like this invincible force. People could say
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: whatever and the heck they wanted to say about me,
• 39:32
  Speaker 1: and I would just you know, continue to plug forward
• 39:34
  Speaker 1: and it never really sat in. I don't know, it's
• 39:36
  Speaker 1: this weird transition for me. So when I was with
• 39:38
  Speaker 1: her in a relationship, it was kind of like people
• 39:40
  Speaker 1: could just spout negativity. They could give criticisms, They could
• 39:42
  Speaker 1: say whatever they thought about me of being the bachelor,
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: you know, they should have picked this guy or whatever
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: whatever they wanted to say. That was was negative and
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: I just kept moving forward because life was good. And
• 39:51
  Speaker 1: then as soon as that breakup happened, the comments really
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: and the criticisms really started to sink in and sink
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: in deep, and they and they still do still have
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: a huge effect on me. And I'm not quite to
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: that place where I can just push those off yet.
• 40:03
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I ever will be now. Um,
• 40:06
  Speaker 1: I don't know, Maybe you know, Like you said, Nick,
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: I mean, I can't predict the future, and it's one
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: step at a time and that's the best thing I
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: can do. I'm a lot better today than I was
• 40:15
  Speaker 1: maybe two months ago. Um, I'm a lot happier to
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: than I was two months ago. But it's still it's
• 40:19
  Speaker 1: still difficult, and I still feel raw, and there's still
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: a lot of emotion. And I guess because actually and
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: I are kind of coming off of a time in
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: our life where we've gotten some criticism here recently, I
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: want to ask you, how have you dealt with the
• 40:31
  Speaker 1: criticism not only from the franchise and being the Bachelor,
• 40:35
  Speaker 1: but now post relationship and just in life, Like, how
• 40:37
  Speaker 1: do you view that? Well? I mean not to be generic,
• 40:40
  Speaker 1: but I've gotten really good at not reading stuff Um,
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: just being on the show, right we the show has
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: been long around long enough and you have social media
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: that at this point, if you go on the show,
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: you're gonna get criticism. You know, Like even if like
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: even the great Ben Higgins on you know, Caitlin season,
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: who was an overwhelming fan favorite, you still got criticism.
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: You know, Like it's no one is ever not going
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: to get Some people get more than others. Like my
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: season of Andy's I got a ton of criticism. Um,
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: I just get surprised when when you know, and obviously
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I won't indulge in it, and like there's obviously always
• 41:21
  Speaker 1: gonna be a lot of behind the scenes about what
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: happened or what didn't happen. I mean I always kind
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: of get a kick out of some of the things
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: I read, um, and the perceptions of like decisions I made, um,
• 41:32
  Speaker 1: you know, And so yeah, I don't know when it
• 41:35
  Speaker 1: comes to criticism, I think the overwhelming important things is
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: that I'm sure you guys all know is, um, the
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: people who are in your inner inner circle, whether that's
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: your friends or your loved ones or whatever, those are
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: the people's opinions who matter, and the people who really
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: know you and if certainly if if you get if
• 41:54
  Speaker 1: I get criticized from my friends or my family and
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: they're like, hey, Nick, we kind of think you've been
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: an asshole. I'm gonna listen to that, right because those
• 42:01
  Speaker 1: are people who know me best, who who give me feedback.
• 42:04
  Speaker 1: But everything else, Um, you just have to try not
• 42:07
  Speaker 1: to let it bother you. But I get what you're
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: saying about. I mean, it's it's one thing to know that.
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: It's another thing to once in a while indulge in
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: what's out there and then you read something and it
• 42:20
  Speaker 1: just for whatever reason, just like eats you up, you know,
• 42:22
  Speaker 1: it just like like why you know, like it's been
• 42:25
  Speaker 1: like a half a day and be like but it's
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: not true, like you know, but what are you gonna do?
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: And again back to you know, dealing with like insecurity
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: anxiety is to just try not to indulge in it,
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: you know, and instead of you never can convince other people.
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: And I think I just, um, you always you just
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: try to focus on the things that's the most important.
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: I suppose, UM, and and wondering if um, if you know,
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: if you're gonna have an insecurity or they're gonna say
• 42:57
  Speaker 1: something like you know, maybe just admit that it's an
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: insecurity you know, Like sometimes I think the things that
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: bother us the most are the things that, you know,
• 43:04
  Speaker 1: deep down kind of bother us about ourselves. And then
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: we hear someone else say it and then you're like,
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: you're like really mad about it, and you're a deep
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: telling You're like, oh, I can't know that does bother
• 43:12
  Speaker 1: me about me, you know, but like people are pointing
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: it out, UM, So maybe just admit it and just
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: kind of deal with it, um instead of like, you know,
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: going on social media and yelling at the internet and
• 43:23
  Speaker 1: criticizing other people, I would say that be I'd take
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: you know, that's one of the worst ways to handle
• 43:28
  Speaker 1: it is is using social media as your platform um
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: to criticize. You know. You can you could read a
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: picture I post today and there's gonna be you know,
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: a hundred really great comments to one really negative comment
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: that one little negative comment might stand out to me.
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: So I'm taking your advice. M I'm gonna commit for
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: next week not to read anything because it never goes
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: well for me. Uh, you know, Nick, before we take collars,
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: because I want to keep you on to take some
• 43:52
  Speaker 1: college I think it's gonna be great. Um. You know,
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: you and I are both sorry to tell you, and
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: I know it's still things. You and I are both
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: now single men, and there's one thaying that every single
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: man needs. We need help, We need a lot of help,
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: and I have just a solution for us. Okay, last
• 44:08
  Speaker 1: night I started using Blue Apron for the very first time.
• 44:11
  Speaker 1: I'm not kidding you. Blue Apron is amazing, Nick. You
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: can cook dinners that show up literally to your front door.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: You pull out the ingredients, you lay them on your table.
• 44:21
  Speaker 1: There's a whole list of things you need to check off.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: There's things you needed to do to get the perfect
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: dinner started. So I want to tell you Nick about
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: Blue Apron, so hopefully yourself and everybody out there will
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: purchase this because I'm telling you it's worth it. Here
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: we go. Blue Apron is the number one fresh ingredient
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: recipe delivery service in the country. Blue Apron's mission is
• 44:39
  Speaker 1: to make incredible home cooking accessible to everyone. Blue Apron
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: achieves this by supporting a more sustainable food system, setting
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: the highest standards for ingredients, and building a community of
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: home chefs. I'd like to consider myself a home chef.
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: Blue Apron has established partnerships with a hundred and fifty
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: local farms, fisheries and ranches across the unit's eight As
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: a result, seafood is sourced sustain sustainably. Understanders developed in
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: partnerships with the Monterey Bay aquairem Seafood Watch, Beef, chicken,
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: and pork come from responsibly raised animals. Produce is sourced
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: from farms at practice Regenerative Farming. Telling you all this
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: because Blue Apron ships the exact amount of each ingredient
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: required for a recipe, and as a result, they are
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: reducing waste. What did you make then, well, Amy, I'd
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: like to tell you eat servings for about two or
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: three people. So last night I made steak with a
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: side of kale, potatoes and mushrooms. Did you have leftovers
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: because you are alone? Wow? Amy, thank you, and I
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: did not have left because what I've chosen to do
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: with my life right now is to fill that void
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: of having nobody there by eating as much food as possible.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you Blue Apron brings people together right now,
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: I'm just trying to bring myself together. So this is
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: gonna hurt threat a little bit, but cooking together build
• 46:01
  Speaker 1: strong family bonds, of which I have none right now.
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: Research shows that blue Aprons families cook nearly three times
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: more often. Those who spend a lot at restaurants or
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: at high end grocery chains can now spend under ten
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: dollars per person for delicious meal. Finally, check out this
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: week's menu and get your first three meals for free
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: with free shipping by going to blue Apron dot com
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: slash almost famous. Make sure you use that so go
• 46:25
  Speaker 1: to blue Apron dot com slash almost famous. You will
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: love how good it feels and taste to create incredible
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: home cook meals with blue Apron with your family, friends,
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: or alone. So don't wait. That's blue Apron dot com
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: slash almost famous. Blue Apron a better way to cook, Nick,
• 46:39
  Speaker 1: that interview was probably one of my top three interviews
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: we've done over the past four months. You're just beautifully
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: vulnerable and honest, and you're so insightful, and all of
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: that that just happened over the past twenty minutes made
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: me just It reminded me how much I love you
• 47:00
  Speaker 1: and how much I appreciate you being such a close
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: friend in my life. I feel really mushy towards you
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: right now. So it is kind of a mushy podcast.
• 47:09
  Speaker 1: Um No, this one's particularly mushy. We went from being
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: quote harsh to now being mushy. This is the perfect
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: podcast one. And you guys are all like, I'm sorry, Well,
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: we definitely like your feedback on that. Um you guys
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: know from last season Paradise three, Nick was kind of
• 47:32
  Speaker 1: like my love guru. He has great guy advice for me.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: He always kicks me in the ass and tries to
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: kick me out of my fantasy land, which I like
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: to stay in. But if you have those who can't teach,
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, right, I know, but you know men,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: you do know men. Um So I just tweeted out
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: if you guys have any good do you have any
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: questions about current relationships you're in or need any guy advice,
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: you can ask Nick those types of questions and in addition,
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: of course, stuff about the Bachelor. So we're gonna start
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: taking some colors now. You see Ellen from Alabama, she
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: needs some advice. Let's get her on the line. Hello, Ellen, Hi,
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: you're here with Ben Nick and me? Really? Yes, true, Hey,
• 48:20
  Speaker 1: I see you need some advice. It's about a guy, Yes,
• 48:25
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, sorry I said something. I'm way out. Sorry,
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: I'm clumsy. Anyways, Okay, so who is here? It's Nick,
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: Ben and Ashley. I like Nick, I cannot pronounce his
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: last name. What's the name? I love you? I love
• 48:39
  Speaker 1: all of you. Okay. So I have some relationship advice
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: that's a horrible or not horrible Okay. So I'm talking
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: to this guy. Okay. So I'm like really nervous. Why
• 48:50
  Speaker 1: I'm so you're not. Don't be nervous nervous Okay. Anyways,
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: they're talking to the guy and we've been talking for
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: like a month and a half and so, um, what friends?
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: What's talking mean? Like? I don't know. Actually, you don't
• 49:07
  Speaker 1: mind hanging out not dating? Okay, dating? Okay, So it's
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: not just texting. You're seeing him in real life. You're
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: having phone calls. Yes, have you known him for a while?
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: Is you like a friend or you just casually met?
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: We met at Bible study. Okay, great, that's like a
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: great place to meet someone. It really is. Okay. But anyway,
• 49:25
  Speaker 1: so we're like texting, talking like whatever, and he's like, hey,
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: I'm all was some friends tomorrow? I was like, okay, cool,
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: who's gonna be there, just like wondering randomly. He was like,
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: just a bunch of guys are not going out with
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: some friends from like high school. I was like, okay, cool.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: So I was on snapchat last night. I saw on
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: snapchat that there are a bunch of random girls there too,
• 49:43
  Speaker 1: you know, And I was like, do you ask in
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: front of them about it? Because they rare when we
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: came over with some other random guys. So you were
• 49:50
  Speaker 1: talking or texting with this guy, something came up. He's like, oh,
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: I'm having some guys over. I didn't invite you and
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: at night because okay. And then so your question is
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: confront about it or just let it go, not if
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: you're just talking. Yeah, I mean, are you at the
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: point in your relationship where you I mean yeah, I
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: mean I don't know. I mean I guess you know,
• 50:21
  Speaker 1: we weren't there, right, I think he just this is
• 50:23
  Speaker 1: one of the situations you have to trust your gut, right,
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: I mean, do you feel like I mean, the red
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: flag for me would be it's you're not dating him,
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: so right, he can he's allowed to hang out with
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: other women, right, But for me, it's just like, do
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: you want to get in a relationship with someone who
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: isn't direct, right, And so the question is is, did
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: he just say I'm hanging out with my friend? Did
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: he unnecessarily lie to you about something that was kind
• 50:47
  Speaker 1: of stupid? You know, like he is allowed to hang
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: out with other people, but if you like made a
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: big deal ab having a guy's night and then um,
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: then maybe he's someone who there who isn't direct. Now.
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: At the same time, he also put on a snapchat,
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: so he also wasn't finding anything um per se or
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: just he's not very right. There's that possibility because I
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: never actually I actually never looked a snapchat, and I
• 51:10
  Speaker 1: just looked at it last night and I was bored.
• 51:12
  Speaker 1: Instead of confronting him, why don't you just talk to
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: him about it? Like ask him, like, but not in
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: a confronting way. I wouldn't be like, so, who are
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: those girls and just be like, oh, so, like what
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: you end up doing last night and see what he says, like,
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: don't bring up a snapchat, just kind of be like, oh, yeah,
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: like I was hanging with my guy friends and like
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: so and so I had a bunch of women over.
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: But see if he like does see if he brings
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: it up. And if you said some weird things, you
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: know makes sense. I just freak out all the time
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: about nothing. So yeah, we all do you know, it's normal,
• 51:39
  Speaker 1: we all do. All right, thank you for calling Ellen,
• 51:42
  Speaker 1: thanks question or helping me live eyes? All right? Nicole
• 51:48
  Speaker 1: from Salem, Oregon. Hey Nicole, Oh my gosh, it is
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. I told him myself. Okay, if I
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: ever call, I'm not going to stand girl. I'm just
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: going to play it cool. But I just love you
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: so much. But I'm the ultimate fan girl. Okay, you
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: shouldn't feel weird about that. That's true. Are you with Nick?
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: And then yes, the Bachelor boys my favorite. I'm not
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: just saying that. Hey my favorite too too. Um. So
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: we hear that you just went through a break up. Yeah,
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: and I heard you guys are giving out free boy advised. Yes,
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: I'm getting paid for this. I don't know if you are.
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely not. Okay, So I just went through a
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: breakup about a week and a half ago, like two years.
• 52:46
  Speaker 1: It sucks, so, um, I guess my question for you
• 52:50
  Speaker 1: right now. Like it's obviously hard, and it's always going
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: to be hard break that's the hard no matter what.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: I guess my question for you guys is, how do
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: you know if you made the right decision? Because it
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: is so hard at first. How do you know that
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: your feelings aren't there because you made a mistake? You
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: know what I'm saying? Like, how do you know if
• 53:09
  Speaker 1: you did the right thing or not? I don't know
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: because I feel like after a breakup, you kind of
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: forget all the little things that added up to why
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: you broke up, and you're just kind of focusing on
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: because I just keep on going back to all of
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: our memories and the great times we had together. And
• 53:24
  Speaker 1: how do you like not second guess yourself? I guess
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: that's this is a I guess I'll start because I
• 53:31
  Speaker 1: think Nick's gonna offer a lot better advice here than
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: I can. Um, you ask a great question, and I
• 53:37
  Speaker 1: mean that, like, this is a tremendous question, one that
• 53:39
  Speaker 1: I've asked my friends and I've asked my family, and
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: I don't think I've received a great answer for it yet.
• 53:45
  Speaker 1: So I would love for Nick to be able to
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: give us that. Um. The one thing I'll tell you is,
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: you know, I've I've I can relate, I can identify
• 53:52
  Speaker 1: with you because you do after a breakup, UM, no
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: matter who breaks up with who, uh, you only remember
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: the really great things, I feel like, and you have
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: to really work to remember the things that really started
• 54:04
  Speaker 1: to separate the relationship, um, which I was at first
• 54:08
  Speaker 1: really angry about because I was like, you know, in
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: my mind, I was like, this was the perfect relationship,
• 54:12
  Speaker 1: this was great, everything was just grand. And then I
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: started to sit down and I started to think about
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: the things that really started to separate its I'm like, Okay,
• 54:20
  Speaker 1: there was huge issues. There were there are huge things
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: that needed to be solved, or maybe they weren't solvable.
• 54:25
  Speaker 1: And I guess now that my relationships, I guess I'm single.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: So I have a couple of relationships that are now done.
• 54:32
  Speaker 1: I would rather look back on the relationship um and
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: admiration and with gladness than I would with anger and resentment.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: And so because it's done, I guess I'm happy, even
• 54:45
  Speaker 1: though it still hurts and it makes it more confusing,
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: I'm happy I view the relationship in a positive way
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: because the opposite of that would would be harder. And
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: so with that, I'm gonna pass the nick because honestly,
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna listen really carefully. I don't have any word
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: of advice for you, and I'm sorry on the other thing. Okay,
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: it's a hard question. It's a hard You're sent me
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: up for failure. Ben, Hi, how are you? I'm sorry
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: about your recent data. UM. I don't know if I
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: have good advice, but I think and Ben kind of
• 55:11
  Speaker 1: alluded to something I agree with. I just think I
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: think it's important to remember in a relationship, and something
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: I tried to do UM is that every relationship that
• 55:21
  Speaker 1: fails that you have like it doesn't mean necessarily it
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: was a failure. And I hope that, like, listen, you
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: should feel lucky that in a way that being breaking
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: out someone isn't easy, because that means you really love
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: someone and you really cared about them, and even though
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: it didn't work out. I mean, the alternative is not
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: giving a UM, and that was probably really suck to
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: think that you spent two years with your life with
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: someone that ultimately when it ended, you didn't care. UM.
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: So I just think it's really important to remember that
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: UM and be thankful that you really love this person
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: and even though it didn't work out. It's it's actually
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: quite normal to think that and nastily it's good and
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: it's okay, and so not don't be your self up.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: But like to Ben's point, you know, when you once
• 56:03
  Speaker 1: you can accept that and just be okay with it,
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: you do follow your gut. It's it is important to
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: remember why you broke up, right. Um, it doesn't make
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: the other person not a good person. It just means
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: that you know, ultimately, you know, I think we're all
• 56:17
  Speaker 1: in agreement that we're just hoping to find that one
• 56:19
  Speaker 1: person that we're lucky enough to be able to spend
• 56:21
  Speaker 1: the less our lives with someone who you feel like
• 56:23
  Speaker 1: understands you and and not only can be there now,
• 56:27
  Speaker 1: but like be there you know, for you, like when
• 56:30
  Speaker 1: you're old and ugly. Um, it's yeah, it's it's hard
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: to find. So you know you should you know, um,
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: have I expectations of your partnering yourself and and and
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: he should have that too, and um yeah, just uh
• 56:46
  Speaker 1: that's okay, and and focus but just I don't have
• 56:49
  Speaker 1: an advice, but only just to accept that it's it's
• 56:51
  Speaker 1: actually normal to think that and instead of having it
• 56:54
  Speaker 1: second guess yourself. Be thankful that you were in a
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: relationship where you cared so deeply about the guy that
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: it wasn't easy to walk away. Yeah, that's a good
• 57:03
  Speaker 1: point of view to have. And yeah, no, I definitely
• 57:06
  Speaker 1: get that. And every time I get sad, I just
• 57:08
  Speaker 1: like keep on going back to those times, like, hey,
• 57:11
  Speaker 1: remember when he did this to you? And I just
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: get like mad all over again. But I think that's
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: just fun coping with being sad right now, it's normal.
• 57:17
  Speaker 1: Don't beat yourself up. It's pretty early. I mean, what
• 57:21
  Speaker 1: do they say, like, if you're with someone, it's supposed
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: to be half the amount of time you were with someone.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: That's a little long. Like I don't think you should
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: find act for a year. But you know, let I
• 57:31
  Speaker 1: hope not let yourself grieve. You know, you'll be fine.
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: And Nicole, I wish I could give some insight, but
• 57:36
  Speaker 1: I've only broken up with people who weren't actually my boyfriend.
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: So so thank you for your call. We're going to
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: move on. We are going to talk about one of
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• 58:28
  Speaker 1: It could also, of course be used as a carry
• 58:31
  Speaker 1: on bag on a plane and just like an overnight bag,
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: and it is worth fifty nine dollars. Then there's also
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• 59:19
  Speaker 1: get your box for like thirty nine dollars, Like what
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: is that to steal? Okay, so now we're gonna move
• 59:27
  Speaker 1: on to Caitlin. Caitlin, you have a question for the boys.
• 59:32
  Speaker 1: I do all right, buddy, Hi, what is it? Um?
• 59:37
  Speaker 1: So my question is for Nick and Ben. And I
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: was wondering, you know, you go through this process, um,
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: being on the Bachelor, and you really get to know
• 59:46
  Speaker 1: all these women very well, um or you know, so
• 59:49
  Speaker 1: you think? And my question was after the show airs,
• 59:53
  Speaker 1: does your opinion or did your opinion of any of
• 59:56
  Speaker 1: the women on your season's um chained at all? M question? Nick? Uh? No, um,
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: not really yeah and not really UM. I like to
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 1: think that. I mean, listen, I I didn't presume to
• 1:00:18
  Speaker 1: know uh a lot of the women who I sent
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: home relatively quickly, um. I you know, like the women
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: who went home night one I didn't. I didn't get
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: to know them, so I didn't form an opinion one
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 1: way or the other. I wasn't going to judge them,
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 1: you know, not having an opportunity to know them. And
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: the same kind of goes for for some of those
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: women that went home in the first couple of weeks. Um,
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: I didn't have this idea that any of these women
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: were perfect, Nor am I perfect, you know what I'm saying,
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: Like so, but I wasn't like overly shocked by like
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: I did not like this is a totally different person
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: than I thought. Like I never had that thought, you know. Like, Um,
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: my interpretation of your season though, was that you were
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: just set on it being Vanessa. You knew it was
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 1: to be Vanessa's, so like you just had to stick
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: with protocol and go on date to the other people,
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 1: and you didn't invest much in them, and you probably
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: didn't like that much. But you're like, I gotta do
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: this anyway. I would totally disagree with that. You would
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: not totally disagree. I would totally disagree with you. There's
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 1: no there's no big secret that I had a very
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 1: early connection with Vanessa, and Um, I don't know how
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 1: what Ben's thought, because I know he had a very
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 1: early connection with with Lauren. But um, there's one there's
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: a difference between thinking I really think this could be
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: the one and this whole time thinking this might be
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: the one, but knowing that you are still like in
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: week two, right, and to your point, you still have
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 1: to go on dates, and it's behooves yourself to like
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 1: still remain open, right because even though I hadn't like
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 1: an amazing date with Vanessa, like you never know, things
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 1: could have changed, you know, Um, things only got better,
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: But like you have to be open, you know. And
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: so I guess what I disagree with what you said
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: is that I still very important for me to get
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: to know these women as much as I could within
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 1: the time limits that I had. So like I really was,
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: you know, trying to like learn about Rachel and Raven
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: and and you know, obviously the women who went really far,
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: and I do feel like I really got to know them,
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: and you know, um really cared for them, you know,
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 1: as much as I could in the relationship. But like
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 1: obviously Vanessa's always got stronger and stronger and kind of
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 1: always in the back of my mind, you kind of
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: felt like she could be the one, but it was
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: never certainly, I disagree with the point where like I
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: made a decision week two that it was going to
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: be Vanessa, and why even bother giving these women the time?
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 1: And I disagree with that, and to that point, that's
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: why I don't think that there were another women that
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: like wildly surprised me. You know what I'm saying. Part
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: of it was not forming in a strong opinion about
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: some of these women that I didn't get to a
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: chance to really get to know. That makes sense, you know,
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 1: you know that my problem if I were ever the
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: bachelorette would be that I would be like you, you know,
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 1: I have to date all these guys, be grossed out
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: by them along the way. I mean, listen, like you again,
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: I had a strong connection that could be Vanessa, but
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 1: I challenged myself to remain open, right, right, And so
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: I owed it to the other women to do that
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: and and myself right. The more I challenged the relationship,
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: the more I challenged my relationship with the vest of
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: the stronger got in that world. And I was thankful
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 1: that I wasn't just like dead set on it being Vanessa.
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: From early on, I think that too, right, Yeah, Ben
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: did do that. Yeah, No, I mean I can believe
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: agree with what Nick was saying is you obviously feel
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: something different early on, but then you still are going
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: through a process. And one of the beautiful things about
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 1: the Bachelor is you do have the opportunity to stay
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 1: open until the very end. And at the very end. Uh.
• 1:03:40
  Speaker 1: My hope was that I stayed open so long that
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: when I was done on one knee, I was so
• 1:03:45
  Speaker 1: confident because I took the time to invest in everybody else, um,
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: and that I, at the end knew that the person
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: I was proposing to was the right person for me. UM.
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 1: So you know, as hard as it is sometimes because
• 1:03:55
  Speaker 1: you do kind of at some point, I feel like
• 1:03:57
  Speaker 1: you're almost like cheating on the person that you care
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: so much about. UM, it is important in this process
• 1:04:04
  Speaker 1: and in this format that you're agreeing to participate in
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: to stay open. I I think I learned a lot
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 1: about the women on my season post show. I agree
• 1:04:15
  Speaker 1: with Nick, right, I never thought they were perfect, and
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: actually a lot of the things I learned were positive things.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 1: Because I had such a short time period to get
• 1:04:22
  Speaker 1: to know these women. A lot of our conversations were
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 1: deep and heavy, uh, and a lot of our moments
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 1: where uh, you know, with tears or they're coming from
• 1:04:30
  Speaker 1: a place of jealousy or I was coming from a
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 1: place of anxiety. So after the show, when everybody was
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 1: able to relax, I saw more personality come out of
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 1: a lot of these women, and I I appreciated that. Now.
• 1:04:38
  Speaker 1: There was also some things that I learned about some
• 1:04:40
  Speaker 1: of the women that um, I didn't think would happen.
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 1: There are some women that are very critical of UM themselves.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: There are other people on the show or myself, and
• 1:04:49
  Speaker 1: I didn't expect some of the women to be that way.
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: So for me, I felt like there's about six to
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 1: eight women on my season of The Bachelor that I
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 1: really he got to know the other um, I was
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 1: still getting to know when they've got uh asked to
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 1: go home. And so there was a lot of room
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 1: for me to learn a lot. And so yeah, you
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: could as I actually you learn a lot along the way,
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 1: and you learn a lot post show. But I think
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 1: Nick's right, Um, you kind of go when when you
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: send a lot of them at home, you come out
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 1: of it going, yeah, you know what, hopefully get to
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: know you afterwards but right now, I just I'm saying
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: goodbye to the things that you know, I don't know
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 1: a lot about. Yeah, I mean, and I think part
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 1: of two is, like Ben said, some of the things,
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 1: um that you learn because maybe there's some of the
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 1: things they say or dead post show. Um, I've been
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 1: a part of this world long enough to like there's
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: a level of UM. This world is very strong, as
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: we know, and it kind of plays with our most
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 1: basic um insecurities. And you know, a social media interviews,
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 1: it's almost sometimes predictable how people react. Sometimes you try
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: to give people the benefit of the doubt because it
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: does play your insecurities. And oftentimes people will say things
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: of other people or maybe even you, you know, like
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: you just sent someone home and you know, why did
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: they send me home? And they picks on so and so.
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 1: Like I think some of those reactions that people say
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 1: or do for the first time kind of being in
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: the public eye, UM, well sometimes it frustrates you, um
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: and you're like, well, I didn't think they are that
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: type of person. You also like kind of recognize it's
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: the nature of the business. Like every season it kind
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 1: of happens and like next season, you know, a lot
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 1: of the girls who go home that already sends home
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 1: early will sometimes be the most vocal about like the
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: behind the scenes and they have their opinions when they
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: may not really actually know, but they're just trying to
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 1: be a part of experience the didn't feel like they
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 1: got to be a part of. And so that's it
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 1: happens almost every season, and you kind of give them
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt. Watch for it will happen
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 1: this season. I get see it with the women to
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: get off of aris uh Ori show. So with that,
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: we're going to say goodbye to our good buddy, Nick,
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 1: who has answered these questions eloquently and so austicated Lee
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: and with wisdom. Nick, we appreciate you man. Thank you
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 1: for coming on this podcast and being open with us. Uh.
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 1: We can't thank you enough. Thanks for having us so articulate.
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 1: You're so good, Nick. Actually you're too nice, Nick, So
• 1:07:16
  Speaker 1: you do. He really speaks in the heart, that's right,
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: he really does. He's a good man. Nick, come back
• 1:07:22
  Speaker 1: soon please. Actually, speaking of other good things, we need
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 1: you to roll into our final sponsor of the podcast.
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  Speaker 1: all right, you guys. Big News Sarah, who we are
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 1: talking about earlier in the podcast, who wants to talk
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 1: a little bit about what she believes that Danielle meant
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 1: in her Instagram from last week, is going to come
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: on and she's going to talk about legally blonde, and
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: that's awesome. Respect any legally blond references. And let's just
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 1: see what she has I really really am curious to
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 1: learn from her. Sarah. Yeah, Hi, Hi, Sarah. How you
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 1: doing about you? I'm good. I want to know your
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 1: bud thoughts about last week's interview and where you think
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 1: we've went wrong? Okay. I think what happened was that
• 1:09:55
  Speaker 1: some people perceive problems that other people have as like
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 1: more miniscule. When I think, at least with that problem,
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 1: I see it as like a really deep rooted problem
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 1: in sexism that some people don't list because it doesn't
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 1: seem as serious as others like racist, other sexous, other
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 1: aspects of sexism. So I whatever I hear that, I
• 1:10:21
  Speaker 1: do think of Legally Blonde, because in Legally Blonde, it's
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 1: literally it is my favorite movie of all time, and
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: it's because it's so subtle in the way that it's
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 1: teaching you about sexism. Because in ol like Outwood story
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 1: she I think in the beginning, she's looked at it
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 1: is just that regular story girl, because that's all she
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 1: perceives of herself because that's what she was taught. She
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 1: was taught to be beautiful, to use her beauty as
• 1:10:48
  Speaker 1: a way to or not even use her beauty. She
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 1: just knows that she's pretty and that that's an asset
• 1:10:53
  Speaker 1: of hers. But as she moves long into the movie
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: and tried to like, you have no idea how hard
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 1: it is to get a one seventy nine on the
• 1:11:01
  Speaker 1: outsets like it's almost impossible. That girl is like genius,
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 1: but no one realized it because she is so beautiful,
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 1: Like no one looks past that and just still that
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 1: she got somewhere because of her beauty. It's not because
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 1: she's smart as hell, Like no one takes the time
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: to like just get to know her until the end
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: of the movie, and even at the end of the movie,
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: she has to do something insane to prove herself, which
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 1: sucks because like, you don't have you shouldn't have to
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: do something so insane or so above level to be
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: able to get the respect you deserve. I'm learning a
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 1: lot of them listening to this, and um, the main
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 1: thing is, as you give that example of legally blonde,
• 1:11:40
  Speaker 1: I'm sitting here going that she's completely correct. I you know,
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 1: I think I made the very arrogant and um unintelligent
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 1: comment when we talked to Danielle and said something along
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: the lines of, how would anybody ever complain about the beauty.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 1: I don't see a scenario that somebody who say I'm
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: too pretty. I don't why why would anybody complain about that?
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 1: It's like complaining about having too much money. But now
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 1: I'm listening to you, I'm saying, well, there's They're right.
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: There is an example of why somebody who complain about
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 1: their beauty, and that makes complete sense. It's very legitimate,
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 1: and um, I just want to thanks for pointing that out.
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 1: You taught me something today that I had never I
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: would have never thought about unless you. And it comes
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 1: from a movie that, um, you know, honestly I've never seen.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: But what why then? I'm not. I know this sounds silly.
• 1:12:21
  Speaker 1: It's like it could have an Oscar Worthy. It's really
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 1: well well done, but do you know why it wasn't
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 1: because it looked at like a chick flick? I do
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 1: believe it was not made for a golden globe. Though
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: in comedy that's good, yeah, but I had like even
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 1: I had a friend who is similar to me, like
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 1: we're both feminists, we're both really in this, and she's
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 1: never watched that movie because she says, no, that's just
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 1: a chick flick, like it doesn't have any step to it,
• 1:12:49
  Speaker 1: and I'm like, you don't have no clue, Like, hey,
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 1: time out, time out before before we start ripping on
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: things here. I particularly love chick flicks, so can we
• 1:13:02
  Speaker 1: bring chick flicks back? I mean, guys, I'm irritated. It's
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: like people they've box the boom again. Home Again was
• 1:13:10
  Speaker 1: sort of a chick flick. Um. I need like a
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 1: grand romance though, like there are no Katherine Heigl or
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 1: Jayala movies. I don't understand why they're not making them. Um,
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 1: it makes me sad. It makes me sad. It's like
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: we don't value romance and love in our culture anymore.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 1: I think it's a real demonstration of like the world
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: we're living in. So um movie movie producers of the world,
• 1:13:31
  Speaker 1: please make some more. I really need, like something that's
• 1:13:34
  Speaker 1: gonna like make my heart flutter with James Marson or
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 1: Matthew McConaughey, I know who probably won't do it anymore,
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 1: but you know what I mean, Yeah, I completely understand that,
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: and I just I but I also like you have
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 1: to remember, like when this movie came out was about
• 1:13:46
  Speaker 1: two one from what I remember, and it was like
• 1:13:51
  Speaker 1: I think it may have I don't agree with you.
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: Actually it should you have gotten like at least an
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 1: Oscar nomination because the subtlety of like the message and like,
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: you don't know, like it it wasn't even that subtle,
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 1: but normally want I don't think a lot of people
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 1: saw it because they they perceived it as something different
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: than it on. It was like my friend when she
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 1: like I sat her down and I made her watch it.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 1: By the end, she just said, wow, I I would
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 1: have never expected that. And I guess maybe it was
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 1: there like one of like on their fault, like their
• 1:14:23
  Speaker 1: fault a little bit, because maybe they they didn't really
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 1: show how deep it could be or how it deep
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 1: it was. But I just think a lot of people
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: judge based on like a cover and I and I
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 1: back to what you were saying with like disagreement line.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: I don't think I was disagreeing with you on what
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: you meant like about that message. I think you guys,
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 1: for a little bit longer were just honing in on
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 1: her beauty thing, which I was like, I just was like,
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 1: there's so much more depth to this conversation than what
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 1: they you guys were getting at that moment, which is
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: why I wanted to mention that that idea that even
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 1: though it seems so superficial to be complaining about your beauty,
• 1:15:04
  Speaker 1: there's some like really deep rooted idea that really hurts
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 1: women and like from fields that you just don't know about.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: Like it's just it goes so much deeper than just
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: she's complaining about her beauty. That's just that's such an asset.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 1: It really is not. Sometimes in this world where you
• 1:15:20
  Speaker 1: want to be perceived as serious, some people can't think
• 1:15:23
  Speaker 1: you're keeping me serious and care about like what's like
• 1:15:26
  Speaker 1: putting on meek up or working out or something like that.
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 1: It's just it's some people just can't make that connection,
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 1: and it sucks. I'm learning a lot from you, and
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: I appreciate your passion, your passion for justice and your
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 1: passion to to communicate things correctly and fairly ye in
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: your passion for equality. Thank you for calling into this.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: I'm learning a lot from you. I'm gonna take this
• 1:15:49
  Speaker 1: and kind of walk away from the podcast and think
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: through you know where my heart was at and where
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: my mind was at during this whole thing. I appreciate
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: you telling Ashley and I um that you didn't necessarily
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: uh disagree with us kind of trying to bring up
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: the topics. That's really and I mean this really what
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: we want to do. We had a bunch of emails
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: from our listeners asking us to talk about this Instagram post,
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: and we so we wanted to do it. I think
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: we're the issue if there, you know, when we talk
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: about issues and what went wrong, and I think in
• 1:16:13
  Speaker 1: every podcast and everything we do that we we don't
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: do them perfectly. Was that we didn't communicate um exactly
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: um or we didn't communicate perfectly what we're trying to
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: ask her. And so I appreciate you bring that up
• 1:16:27
  Speaker 1: and keeping us accountable, and I hope you can keep
• 1:16:28
  Speaker 1: us accountable from here on out, because we want this
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 1: to be a podcast. It's fun, that's exciting, that's interesting,
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: that's dramatic. We wanted to be all those things. But
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: we also don't want to hurt anybody in the process.
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: So thank you for coming on today to the Almost podcast.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 1: We appreciate you being a listener, and I hope that
• 1:16:43
  Speaker 1: doesn't stop because of last week. No, I won't stop,
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 1: and I just I think one thing that you can
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 1: fix the next time is just maybe instead of talking
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 1: about Danielle in the beginning and then coming up with
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 1: calling her maybe like put the call first, or decide
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 1: to call her beforehand just so she has a voice.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of people also are annoying that
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 1: it felt like she didn't really have a voice till
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: the end. No, I totally agree. I think that that
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 1: was something we probably should have done. All right, thank
• 1:17:09
  Speaker 1: you so much for your call, Sarah. Really really appreciate
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 1: you listening, emailing us, coming on and explaining all of
• 1:17:16
  Speaker 1: this love we procrastination on my heart. But yeah, what
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 1: do you mean procrastination? What do you gotta do? I
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 1: actually have classed in like a half hour that I
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: need to get to. I'm sure you kill it in class.
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 1: You're probably a very good class participant. All right, Sarah,
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 1: thank you so much. All Right, Ben, are you ready
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 1: to wrap this show up? I am. It's been a
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: great episode. We want to think uh Nick for coming
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 1: on the day. He is a great guest and we
• 1:17:42
  Speaker 1: will have him back. We're excited to have him back.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 1: I want to thank Ashley for talking about a topic
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: that I know has affected her deeply. Want to think
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 1: to think the team, uh from my heart for putting
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 1: this podcast together. Hey Eastern and it's God's Eastern mark,
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 1: you know he They basically they're here for Ben and
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: I been in my podcast, Becca's podcast, and Dean's podcast.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 1: They listened to so much bachelor chatter. They just must
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 1: want to kill us, all right, but we appreciate them
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 1: and Amy, we love you so much. All right, guys,
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 1: one more episode down. We'll talk to you next week.
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 1: I've been been nationally. See you. Follow the Benn and
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: Ashley I Almost Famous podcasts on I Heart Radio or
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts