Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / The Art of Self-Care: Recognizing and Managing Emotions

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The Art of Self-Care: Recognizing and Managing Emotions · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visation and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way, whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you for taking time out of your day to spend with me.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: And today I want to tackle something that I feel really quite passionate about.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that is this idea that it is difficult for most of us to even name our emotions or our feelings.
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  SPEAKER_00: Just think about the last time that you felt a little off.
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  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you were overwhelmed or stressed or just felt uneasy.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I want you to think about how difficult or how easy it was for you to pinpoint exactly what you were feeling.
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  SPEAKER_00: Was it frustration?
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  SPEAKER_00: Was it anxiety, guilt, sadness?
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  SPEAKER_00: Or did you just label it as, I just feel bad and move on?
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  SPEAKER_00: Because most of us will fall into that last category.
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  SPEAKER_00: Most of us will just say, I don't feel good, or I just, I don't, I, I feel bad.
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  SPEAKER_00: And we just kind of move on.
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  SPEAKER_00: We don't really take the time to truly identify what we're feeling.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then we also get caught up in this idea of positive versus negative emotions.
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  SPEAKER_00: So I just want to start with why it might be difficult for us to name our emotions in the first place.
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  SPEAKER_00: First off, emotions are really complex.
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  SPEAKER_00: They're not always one thing.
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  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes we actually are feeling two or three things at the same time.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it's difficult to name what we're feeling.
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  SPEAKER_00: Like so, for an example, if we're feeling a part of us is feeling angry, it might also be mixed with some sadness or some frustration or some loneliness, or maybe all of those are swirling together and it's actually leading to a feeling of isolation.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's not just the complexity though that makes naming emotions difficult.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's also our own conditioning.
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  SPEAKER_00: Growing up, most of us, not all of us, but most of us weren't really given the vocabulary to name our emotions.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Most of us were probably taught to kind of move through any emotion that felt negative quickly.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Like for an example, working with a lot of clients, I've heard many of them tell me and share with me, and this is with no judgment, but many times when they felt sad, it was, you know, it's okay, just you'll be fine, move on.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, or if they felt angry, they were told that that's not okay.
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  SPEAKER_00: That's that's negative.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not good to be angry.
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  SPEAKER_00: Without the distinction of understanding that anger is an emotion, maybe the behavior that comes as a reaction to the anger might be the thing that would be the thing that maybe parents don't want the children to exhibit, but anger itself is just an emotion.
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  SPEAKER_00: But what happens is we get conditioned to say these ones are good and these ones are bad.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: And so then we don't really understand why it's important to be able to name the emotions.
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  SPEAKER_00: Also, we're taught, and it becomes normalized, to feel discomfort with certain emotions.
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  SPEAKER_00: And by being human, we don't like to feel uncomfortable.
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  SPEAKER_00: So what we end up conditionalizing ourselves to do, and what becomes normal is to just suppress the things that make us uncomfortable and not talk about them, not really name them and not allow them to move through, but just kind of suppress and push them aside.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the the catch is that we can only suppress for so long until they they actually rise up and we have to take notice of them.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because when we avoid our emotions for a long period of time, they're gonna get louder and louder.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's it's like a volcano waiting to erupt.
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  SPEAKER_00: And and I get it, and I do this too.
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  SPEAKER_00: Why do we suppress it?
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  SPEAKER_00: It's because it feels uncomfortable and we don't like that discomfort.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Or maybe we're feeling an emotion that if we we were to express it to somebody, we're afraid of the conflict that it that it could create.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because again, we have this narrative that conflict is a bad thing versus recognizing that sometimes having conflict allows room for growth.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if we're in a relationship with somebody and we're expressing something that doesn't feel good to us and it creates conflict, if it's an emotionally safe relationship, that'll be something that the other person would be willing to talk to us about rather than completely shut down or minimize who you are.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_00: So it's really important to recognize that when we're running away from our emotions, it could be that we're running away from our emotions because we're avoiding something like conflict, but maybe it is that we actually need to move not just through the emotion, but move through the conflict in order to grow with that other person.
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  SPEAKER_00: Other reasons why it's so important for us to recognize and to be able to name our emotions is when we suppress them, it actually increases anxiety and stress and overwhelm.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that can also create the mechanism towards burnout.
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  SPEAKER_00: Other people, when they suppress their emotions, it actually gets heavier and heavier.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then they start to say, I feel I'm feeling depressed, I don't even want to get out of bed.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it's because there's all these unprocessed emotions.
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  SPEAKER_00: So it's actually really important for us to have this conversation because there is almost this um this cultural pressure or societal pressure to be strong and to just, you know, look on the bright side.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I am not one to say that, you know, we don't, of course, we want to be strong.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: And of course, you know, we want to look for what could possibly be the bright side or the positive in a really difficult situation.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: But we also have to recognize that we're human beings and we're gonna have moments where we have other feelings pop up, and those feelings are just information and data that we can use to figure out what it is that we need and really honor those needs.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, what we're really talking about here is uh the emotions by naming them and processing through them, it's an act of self-care and an act of self-love, as well as self-acceptance and recognizing that you are a human being.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_00: You're not always going to be, you know, in the quote unquote positive emotions.
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  SPEAKER_00: You're gonna have the negative ones, but they're they're important too.
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  SPEAKER_00: They're important to give you information on what you need.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it's also exhausting to constantly suppress your emotions, you know, because you're constantly trying to say, okay, that's it's almost denial of self.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that can be extraordinarily exhausting.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: A lot of us though struggle with this, you know, we need support.
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  SPEAKER_00: Coaching absolutely can help with that.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I know that I work with my clients on this routinely because when we are able to name what we're feeling and then we can name what we need, we're then able to take action and move through whatever it is.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Because it's not about we need to name our feelings and then sit and spin in it.
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  SPEAKER_00: Instead, it's we need to give ourselves permission to acknowledge what's happening for us, recognize that this is normal and it's it's part of being human, and then giving ourselves permission to figure out what it is that we need.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: If this is something that you feel like you would want support with, or could use support with, or just want to explore how coaching could help you live into your best self, by all means, book a time with me at coachwithcomedy.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up Live Joy Your Way.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Username It's Authentic Me.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.