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Embracing Authentic Leadership and Overcoming Imposter Syndrome · Business Roundtable

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, everybody, Welcome back to the Business Roundtable podcast. I'm
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: super excited about this episode because we've got a couple
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: of returning guests and a brand new guest, and so
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: we're excited to share with you today. We're going to
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: jump right into the topic of authentic leadership and facing
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: the imposter syndrome. You've probably heard that or experience that,
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: and I'm excited because this panel has all had experience
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  Speaker 1: with all of this. We were just talking right before
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: we came on live here, and so before we jump
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  Speaker 1: into the topic, though, I'll just give you a brief
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: introduction if you're listening for the very first time. My
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: name is David Carr of Stewart your Business, where I
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: help business owners and their teams come together to accomplish
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: great things. We do that in various ways. We have
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: our returning guest, Bill Hatch with us. Welcome back, Bill.
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Hey, glad to be back.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: Yes, And how are you doing on your book.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: I'm so busy with school, another and other projects. I
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: haven't touched it in a couple of weeks.
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: He's your constant learner, you know.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah, And I've got three thousand, three thousand word.
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  Speaker 1: All right, That's what I love about this podcast. Everybody
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  Speaker 1: back here is about learning and applying us to their lives.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: And we've got Heather back. Welcome back, Heather O.
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: Our healer are all about good things, health and well being, right, Heather.
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  Speaker 5: Absolutely, Yeah, We're.
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  Speaker 3: Glad to have you.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's great. I know we're gonna have a great
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  Speaker 1: conversation tonight. And James, welcome James.
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  Speaker 3: Thank you. James.
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  Speaker 1: Since you're new to the podcast. Would love to just
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  Speaker 1: take a moment to share a little bit about yourself,
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  Speaker 1: your background, and you and I've talked because we've been
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: in other Mastermind groups and collaborated, but uh, I'd love
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  Speaker 1: to just have your share, share your a little bit
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  Speaker 1: of your background.
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  Speaker 3: For our listeners for the Business round Table podcast for sure.
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  Speaker 6: So so thank you and I'm I'm excited. I'm really
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  Speaker 6: excited for this this podcast with y'all. Wow, where do
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  Speaker 6: we start? You know, went through intense bullying and being
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  Speaker 6: picked on, being orficestra sized in school, public school and
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  Speaker 6: part of high school, to having health issues when I was.
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  Speaker 7: Younger, whether it was exhaustion and burnout, where the it
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  Speaker 7: was massive horrible acne, things like that, and even even
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  Speaker 7: during my mid to lighteen years trouble losing weight.
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  Speaker 6: I was, I was clinically obese. I couldn't lose weight,
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  Speaker 6: and yeah, it wasn't happy with myself. Highly anxious as well.
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  Speaker 6: And you know, I had a stinted the corporate world
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  Speaker 6: about fourteen years and companies like IBM, Novel and Lenovo
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  Speaker 6: where I've supported people internally, I led people internally. I
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  Speaker 6: supported and led our business partners a while. I'm actually
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  Speaker 6: down New Year, David in California, not in Utah actually,
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  Speaker 6: but Novell had their head office in Provo actually, how
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  Speaker 6: they're down near you, but just you know, working in
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  Speaker 6: companies like this and and supporting our business partners, making
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  Speaker 6: sure our our business partners, typically small businesses, making sure
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  Speaker 6: they won. It was a lot of my my responsibility
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  Speaker 6: because when they won, I won, they made more money.
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  Speaker 6: I made more money. So that was you know, for
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  Speaker 6: three years and years doing that with small businesses and
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  Speaker 6: supporting organizations, helping them win. And then fast forward now
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  Speaker 6: eleven years having my own my own businesses. And I've
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  Speaker 6: been a serial entrepreneur all my life too. You know,
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  Speaker 6: had when I was eight, like eight years old, I
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  Speaker 6: had a snow removal in landscape business, I would be
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  Speaker 6: pushing the snowblower. It was a little kid pushing this massive.
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  Speaker 3: So your way up. In Canada, many we.
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  Speaker 6: Get a little get a little snow in certain parts.
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  Speaker 6: So yeah, but yeah, So it's been interesting and just
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  Speaker 6: you know, I facing the intense bullying, I became such
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  Speaker 6: an inauthentic person and that's why I love talking about authenticity,
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  Speaker 6: authentic leadership and how that contributes to success in personal
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  Speaker 6: life and relationships and business. So this is super exciting
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  Speaker 6: podcast here. That's that's me in a nutshell, going from
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  Speaker 6: clinically obese, depressed, not being able to lose weight, you know, fit,
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  Speaker 6: charismatic hopefully anyway, happy and and just loving life and
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  Speaker 6: loving helping people help, you know, leaders, people who want
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  Speaker 6: to make a difference, make an impact. Really is what
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  Speaker 6: I love to do, leaders and businesses that want to
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  Speaker 6: make a difference. And I guess that's that's where I am.
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  Speaker 6: Great Canada and love to travel the world, so I'm
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  Speaker 6: not here all the time.
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  Speaker 8: I love to travel. So it's great to be here.
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  Speaker 8: Great to be No, it's great to be It's great
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  Speaker 8: to have you here. We love having the different voices
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  Speaker 8: and it's it's fun. As we've been doing this podcast, James,
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  Speaker 8: and we're so glad to have you here. We've had
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  Speaker 8: more voices and more folks that want to come on
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  Speaker 8: and share and connect, and that means we're really grateful
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  Speaker 8: for you, James, for Bill Heather, because we're all here
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  Speaker 8: about giving and helping.
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  Speaker 1: Others great business owners and leaders and your posessional, your
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  Speaker 1: your expertise is great here. And I think we'll just
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  Speaker 1: jump off then with that understanding of James. For you, you know,
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  Speaker 1: you've gone through this journey of in the corporate world,
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  Speaker 1: you got bullied, your your your challenge, your challenge with
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  Speaker 1: wait and and like who am I authentically?
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  Speaker 3: Like how am I showing up?
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  Speaker 1: So you know what, you hear a lot about leadership,
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  Speaker 1: but we're adding the word authentic leadership. So how do
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  Speaker 1: we how do we show up authentically and lead? And
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  Speaker 1: so what would it mean for you, James, You wouldn't
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  Speaker 1: mind just kind of opening us up there for sure?
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  Speaker 6: For sure, it's a great it's a great question. I mean,
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  Speaker 6: I've seen all kinds of air quotes leadership or bosses
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  Speaker 6: or managers over the years and then some good some bad.
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  Speaker 6: Heather has too I'm sure, as you know. And it's
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  Speaker 6: it's interesting just seeing people the opposite of authentic and
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  Speaker 6: they're just bosses or managers or people telling people, directors,
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  Speaker 6: people literally directing people what to do, or threatening do
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  Speaker 6: your stuff or you get fired. It takes someone special,
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  Speaker 6: for sure to be a leader, especially an authentic leader.
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  Speaker 6: In fact, it takes a lot of power and confidence
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  Speaker 6: and self work to be an authentic leader because you're
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  Speaker 6: you're vulnerable, and that takes power. It's not easy being vulnerable.
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  Speaker 6: It's not easy being open. I mean, I know, after
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  Speaker 6: being bullied for for many, many years, I was the
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  Speaker 6: opposite of authentic. I was I hit everything. I was
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  Speaker 6: most vanilla. I didn't couldn't know anything about me, fake,
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  Speaker 6: you know, shields up, armor up, masks up, kind of
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  Speaker 6: person like just massively and so you know, and it's
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  Speaker 6: interesting seeing back in the corporate world and even the
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  Speaker 6: entrepreneur world, people who walk their talk again authenticity and
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  Speaker 6: people who are real and authentic, and then people who
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  Speaker 6: either don't walk their talk. They do one thing and
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  Speaker 6: they say another. They care only about themselves, they don't listen,
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  Speaker 6: they're not pressing and to two people, to employees and
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  Speaker 6: team members to clients. It just it's about money, it's
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  Speaker 6: about them, It's about getting things done and getting the
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  Speaker 6: heck out of there. So I think chance your question,
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  Speaker 6: decizely authentic leadership is really making it about others and
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  Speaker 6: you winning because of that. It's that win win win,
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  Speaker 6: you know, you win win cubed right, it's and I
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  Speaker 6: fully believe in it, like people plant win, customers win,
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  Speaker 6: team members, employees win, and of course leadership wins too.
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  Speaker 6: It's not a it's not a zero sum situation where
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  Speaker 6: one person wins and one person loses. It's it's just
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  Speaker 6: such an opportunity for everyone to win. And the more
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  Speaker 6: everyone wins, well, the more everyone wins. Because the more
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  Speaker 6: your customers are happy, they come back to you, your
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  Speaker 6: company makes money, or your team makes money, or your
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  Speaker 6: team performed, you look like a great leader, You get promoted,
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  Speaker 6: you make more money, or if you're a business owner again,
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  Speaker 6: you make more really money, and and and you are
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  Speaker 6: more successful by being authentic, real, open, vulnerable and in
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  Speaker 6: this this this water down reality TV social media world,
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  Speaker 6: people are spreading a lot of good of course on
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  Speaker 6: social media, but I think I feel also, Pete, there's
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  Speaker 6: a lot of bs a lot of fakeness. It's like,
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  Speaker 6: is that really your car or did you rented? Or
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  Speaker 6: wait no, that's photoshop. You've been you photoshopped the Ferrari
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  Speaker 6: in there? What is that in your house or or whatever? Right?
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  Speaker 6: Use your life? Really this perfect? No one's life is
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  Speaker 6: that perfect. So it's certainly I love because anyone can
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  Speaker 6: be a boss or tell someone to do, anyone can
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  Speaker 6: be a business owner. But really the the being authentic
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  Speaker 6: to me means being real, being vulnerable, actually caring, actually
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  Speaker 6: giving it shite and and and really wanting people to
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  Speaker 6: succeed and win and be better and do better. That
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  Speaker 6: I think is an I feel and walking your talk,
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  Speaker 6: saying what you do, do what you say, and you
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  Speaker 6: get that instant respect, authority, credibility versus I mean in
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  Speaker 6: the corporate world, we'd see leaders say one thing and
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  Speaker 6: do another, or promises one thing and then do something else. Nothing,
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  Speaker 6: nothing killed that are are our trusts, are our our
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  Speaker 6: their credibility faster out the window, out the wind.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, James, so this is great.
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  Speaker 1: You've got given us a lot to chew on here,
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  Speaker 1: and I'm hearing I want to come to Heather next,
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  Speaker 1: because both Heather and I have also been trained in
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  Speaker 1: a system an understanding called paronality how how we can
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  Speaker 1: identify ourselves. Uh. But what I heard you say is
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  Speaker 1: being real, uh and just being transparent exactly so heaven,
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  Speaker 1: What would you say, is you know examples of authentic
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  Speaker 1: leadership in practice? What are some things you've seen through
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  Speaker 1: your training when people are authentically leading?
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  Speaker 9: I think that the biggest thing. Well, let me back up.
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  Speaker 9: First of all, let me just identify what authenticity means
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  Speaker 9: to me and I and I think you're the same page.
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  Speaker 9: Authenticity is that transparency plus the integrity.
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  Speaker 5: Right.
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  Speaker 9: That doesn't mean we wear our entire lives on the
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  Speaker 9: pub for the public eye, but it does mean that
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  Speaker 9: kind of what you were saying, James, is that what
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  Speaker 9: we say, we say, what we mean, those kind of things.
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  Speaker 9: And if you're transparent and you have integrity, you're going
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  Speaker 9: to have much more satisfaction from the employees as well
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  Speaker 9: as the client experience. Right. You mentioned win win win.
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  Speaker 9: I always say mo, and I always say you win,
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  Speaker 9: I win. Together, we both win, everyone wins, right, And
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  Speaker 9: so I think that's the biggest thing. But I think
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  Speaker 9: the biggest thing with that integrity, with that transparency, the
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  Speaker 9: aka authenticity is there's no such thing as fake it
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  Speaker 9: till you make it. If you want to be authentic,
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  Speaker 9: if you want to be a solid leader with integrity,
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  Speaker 9: you don't fake it till you make it, because faking
• 11:01
  Speaker 9: it till you make it just makes you a liar
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  Speaker 9: right now, and.
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  Speaker 6: People can sense that you're going to cut you off,
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  Speaker 6: but people can sense that people.
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  Speaker 9: Know right right, So, and the thing is, if you're
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  Speaker 9: someone who wants to be authentic, you know you're lying too,
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  Speaker 9: and so you're doing yourself a disservice by saying one
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  Speaker 9: thing but really believing another. It doesn't allow for that
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  Speaker 9: mindset to take you further into where you want to go,
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  Speaker 9: because that mindset, that authenticity is just as important to
• 11:35
  Speaker 9: you at the course.
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  Speaker 5: Of who you are, who you want to be, what it.
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  Speaker 9: Is you stand for, and what it is you want
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  Speaker 9: to lead with, right and that authenticity absolutely has to
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  Speaker 9: be at the very tip top of that that platform.
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  Speaker 9: Anyone could be a boss, you know bosses, bosses. You
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  Speaker 9: we've all had bosses that love the fact that they
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  Speaker 9: had power, they wielded that power bashed. Well, those are
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  Speaker 9: the kind of things that run off good employees are
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  Speaker 9: the kind of things that keep people from coming back again.
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  Speaker 9: You can make a huge mistake, but by being truly authentic,
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  Speaker 9: people will come back to you anyway.
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  Speaker 7: Right.
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  Speaker 9: That integrity, that honesty is important. You know, obviously we
• 12:20
  Speaker 9: always want to strive for excellence, right, but we're also
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  Speaker 9: all human so we're fallible. But anything can be savaged
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  Speaker 9: if you'll if you're authentic.
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  Speaker 5: Right.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, Well, and I love that you brought up the
• 12:38
  Speaker 1: word integrity and Bill, you've talked a lot about this
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  Speaker 1: and kind of ethics, integrity and how can we be
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  Speaker 1: authentic in guiding guiding folks as a coach, so can
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: share your experience in this discussion of authenticity and leadership.
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  Speaker 4: Well, I definitely agree with with both James Annheather there
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  Speaker 4: that they have mentioned a lot of qualities. What that
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: are important for authenticity? I would say I would call
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  Speaker 4: it measured forthrightness is uh is something else that's necessary
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  Speaker 4: because you don't want to tell everybody measured forth rightness
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  Speaker 4: because you don't want to tell everybody. You don't want
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  Speaker 4: to tell anybody everything that takes away, right, You don't
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  Speaker 4: wanna you don't wanna slice your guts open and they
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  Speaker 4: and let it all spill out on the stage. You know,
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  Speaker 4: we talked about this in the uh in the forty.
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: Eight Laws of Power. In that uh, you know, you
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  Speaker 2: wanna you wanna talk less.
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  Speaker 4: You don't want to tell somebody everything that that's going on,
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  Speaker 4: but you do want to be forthright, especially about things
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  Speaker 4: that could keep someone from doing their job, you know,
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  Speaker 4: or or better yet, something that would allow them to know,
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  Speaker 4: you identify with their struct whatever it is that they're
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: going through. And uh, you know, because people want that
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  Speaker 4: kind of connection to you. But you know, kind of
• 14:10
  Speaker 4: a be all things to all people kind of a
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: kind of a kind of an idea. But but yeah,
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  Speaker 4: I would say, I would say measured forth rightness is
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  Speaker 4: right up there with with.
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  Speaker 2: All the best qualities of an authentic leader.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, I mean, I think of that as apparent, Bill, Like,
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  Speaker 1: I don't need it. I'm being authentic When I talk
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  Speaker 1: to my children, I talk to them at the appropriate
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  Speaker 1: level that they're at. Right, there's not everything I need
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  Speaker 1: to share with them. In my in my in my
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: warrior training where I'm a certificed trainer, we have a
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: thing called the code. It's it's being real, it's being raw,
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  Speaker 1: but it's also being relevant in what you're sharing.
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  Speaker 3: Is important. Uh, and so we want to make sure
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  Speaker 3: to live that way. Go ahead, Bill, Yeah.
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  Speaker 4: And of course the fourth right part is I think
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  Speaker 4: the best way to describe forthrightness is honesty and act.
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  Speaker 4: It's not just being honest when you're at but putting
• 15:08
  Speaker 4: it out there when it's necessary.
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  Speaker 9: Yes, right, right, So acting is that what you said.
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  Speaker 9: You're living it.
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  Speaker 1: It's not just you're not just being authentic when you're
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: called on the carpet, but you're living it all all
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  Speaker 1: the time.
• 15:29
  Speaker 6: Right Grey, exactly exactly. You walk, you're walking, you talk here,
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  Speaker 6: you are that person versus because you all you all
• 15:36
  Speaker 6: have seen it someone in in and in public they're
• 15:39
  Speaker 6: one way. In private they're a jerk or or whatever, right,
• 15:42
  Speaker 6: personal life.
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  Speaker 2: The other way around.
• 15:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, right.
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  Speaker 2: I've had bosses that were definitely the jerk in public.
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: That's I'm gonna flip it. So we're talking authentic. But
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: but you know, this is com This is common where
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: somebody is in business where they've achieved a certain level
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: of success. Let's say they get promoted up and then
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: they start to feel what this called imposter syndrome.
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  Speaker 3: Are they feeling like who am I.
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  Speaker 1: To be in this place because it's it's something, it's
• 16:15
  Speaker 1: something new, it's different. They've never been in this position before, right,
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  Speaker 1: So James, can you just lead us through this idea
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  Speaker 1: of what you define imposter syndrome to be and kind
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: of experiences you've gone through.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's what I mean, from from working with people,
• 16:30
  Speaker 6: from myself, I think really imposters syndrome. Uh, I mean
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  Speaker 6: a pseudonym can be self doubt, it's just doubted in oneself,
• 16:40
  Speaker 6: but it's really I mean imposters sooner, I guess by
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  Speaker 6: definition it's that you're going to be found out as
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  Speaker 6: an impostor you're not that good, you're not that smart,
• 16:47
  Speaker 6: you're not that whatever. And from what I've found just
• 16:51
  Speaker 6: doing the work on myself and others, what it comes
• 16:53
  Speaker 6: down to that the core, uh, the prime concern of
• 16:57
  Speaker 6: someone or the core the root of the problem is
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  Speaker 6: really is it's it's someone doesn't feel like they're good enough,
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  Speaker 6: not feeling good enough, not feeling worth it, not feeling worthy, worthless,
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  Speaker 6: whatever permutation of that it is, and that they're gonna
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: be found out, and that people finding out they're not
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  Speaker 6: worth it, they're not good enough, right, And that's I
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  Speaker 6: think as human humankind, that's our our deep, deepest worry
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  Speaker 6: fear it will be ostracized, and that means, you know,
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  Speaker 6: we're kicked out of the tribe or clan, and that
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  Speaker 6: means we're you know, get eaten by a tiger or something.
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  Speaker 6: So I think that's the imposterive cinema is that they're
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  Speaker 6: going to find out that I'm I'm not you know,
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  Speaker 6: not that good, not that smart, not that insert everyone's
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: individual word there. You're gonna find out I'm not that
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  Speaker 6: good looking or whatever if you don't want to make
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  Speaker 6: up or whatever it is, whatever is relevant and it's
• 17:44
  Speaker 6: rampant as well, or that they'll find it. I don't
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  Speaker 6: really know what I'm doing. None of us know what
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  Speaker 6: we're doing. We're all making this stuff up most of
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: our first times around, maybe not but our first time
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: doing this. That would be my my thoughts on that.
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  Speaker 6: It's just the fact that someone's gonna find it that
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  Speaker 6: we're not that something or not you blank enough, not
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: good enough.
• 18:09
  Speaker 7: It would be thought.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: We've talked and I'm gonna come to Bill for next year,
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Bill for because we've talked a little bit about this
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: in the past. Podcast Bill of this related imposter syndrome
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: or who who are you? What's been your experience either
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: going through the imposter syndrome yourself, bill or or or
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: seeing that in others.
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: Well, I'm I'm always going through the imposter syndrome with myself.
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: But yeah, one of these days you're gonna find out
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: I'm not who I say I am.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: But serious, seriously.
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: Though, what I've found in the past is it's related
• 18:50
  Speaker 4: to the dunched Kruger effect, which which basically for for
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: those who don't know, says that the less someone knows
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: about a subject, the more confident they are in their
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: knowledge of the cop of the of the subject, even
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: though they don't know anything.
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: They don't know enough to know they don't really know.
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: And the people at the other end, the most qualified,
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: they usually believe that they don't know enough their their
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: confidence in their in their skills is the lowest.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: And uh And.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: I've found that people who are the most qualified tend
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: to suffer the most from the imposter syndrome because they
• 19:38
  Speaker 4: think they don't know, and they they know enough to
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: know they don't know everything right and uh and if
• 19:45
  Speaker 4: you throw in a little bit of of just the
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: regular day to day self doubt.
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: Then then you can really have uh.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: Uh a bog a quicksand of of of imposter syndrome,
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: and it will really limit what you can accomplish.
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: Agree, I think, Oh, go.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: Ahead, Yeah, no, I agree with you. As a biologists
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: and studies and things. I study nature in the past
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: before I started towards your business. I've had twenty plus
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: years in the environment consault the world and everything I
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: start to learn about nature, I learned I don't how
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: much to much I don't know. We think we know,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: and so it's like, oh my goodness, there's so much
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: more to know. So I agree with you Bill. It's
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: kind of like it's it's counter intuitive, but the more
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: you go and learn is the more you realize you
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: don't know.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yeah.
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: And I would say I would say in many ways,
• 20:40
  Speaker 4: imposture syndrome is the one place where you should fake
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: it until you make it, because if you really have
• 20:49
  Speaker 4: self doubt of what you know, then there's a pretty
• 20:53
  Speaker 4: good chance you know enough to do what you need
• 20:56
  Speaker 4: to do, and you just need to to put it,
• 21:01
  Speaker 4: you know, put up the put up the mask. I
• 21:04
  Speaker 4: know what I'm doing. You look, I'm the knowledgeable guy
• 21:07
  Speaker 4: and just and just deal with the deal with the
• 21:10
  Speaker 4: doubts yourself. You know, have some support structure where you
• 21:14
  Speaker 4: can talk about your self doubts and you know, family, friends,
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: therapists and uh, and just push forward because uh, yeah,
• 21:24
  Speaker 4: the the harder your doubts are.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: Doubts.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: Doubts are like the are like the weights on the
• 21:32
  Speaker 4: bar bell at the gym. You know, you you it
• 21:37
  Speaker 4: doesn't need to destroy you. In fact, it's not it's
• 21:41
  Speaker 4: it's not going to destroy you. But if you don't
• 21:44
  Speaker 4: have any weight on that bar bell, you're not going
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: to get any stronger.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: So put those barbells on.
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: Face that doubt and uh and get pomped.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Ah, we are here to.
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think we have a certain generation here, two
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: of us.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Uh So, Heather, I got to ask you because you
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: talked at the beginning you've done through multiple kind.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Of evolutions and business and reinventing yourself.
• 22:21
  Speaker 1: So that to me takes a lot of certainty and clarity,
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: like to go in that direction instead of saying like
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: who am I to start another business? Who am I
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: to start doing this ranch or doing super crowd? Well,
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: I mean just since I've known you, writing books, hosting
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: women's summits, I mean, just a bunch of different things, Heather,
• 22:37
  Speaker 1: So how have you been able to address, you know
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: that what you're an experience with this imposter syndrome.
• 22:44
  Speaker 9: Well, I think that I'm going to take a cup
• 22:47
  Speaker 9: from Bill on that and in that it's it's not
• 22:49
  Speaker 9: that the doubts aren't there, it's that I do it
• 22:52
  Speaker 9: anyway right. I believe I can, even if I don't
• 22:56
  Speaker 9: know how. You know, the first real I mean what
• 22:59
  Speaker 9: I call well for real business, it was actually my
• 23:02
  Speaker 9: third business that I opened.
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: I did. I thought I knew it was right. I
• 23:15
  Speaker 5: bought it.
• 23:15
  Speaker 9: I called my husband, Honey, how do you feel about
• 23:18
  Speaker 9: me buying a business? He's like, fine, I guess that's
• 23:21
  Speaker 9: great because I just did you know?
• 23:24
  Speaker 5: And I got home the next morning I turned in
• 23:28
  Speaker 5: my two week notice.
• 23:29
  Speaker 9: Two weeks from that day, I opened my doors to
• 23:31
  Speaker 9: my knee Wellness Center.
• 23:32
  Speaker 5: So I didn't have a clue what I was.
• 23:36
  Speaker 9: Doing right, But I did have knowledge, and I did
• 23:40
  Speaker 9: have experience in working with people who had body image issues,
• 23:45
  Speaker 9: who had wellness and health issues, who didn't eat correctly,
• 23:50
  Speaker 9: who had that that mindset, that that self sabotage in place,
• 23:55
  Speaker 9: so I knew I had that going for me. And
• 23:58
  Speaker 9: the thing too is, well, I don't think you should
• 24:00
  Speaker 9: fake it till you make it. We're gonna disagree on
• 24:03
  Speaker 9: this one, Bill, and I think that's.
• 24:04
  Speaker 5: Okay, because I think we're really saying.
• 24:06
  Speaker 9: I think we're really saying the same thing is is
• 24:08
  Speaker 9: that you only have to be at least one step
• 24:11
  Speaker 9: ahead of the person you're you're helping. Right, So even
• 24:15
  Speaker 9: if you don't exactly know, you don't be faking it.
• 24:19
  Speaker 9: You just know that, oh, I got some homework to you, right,
• 24:22
  Speaker 9: or I need to talk to another colleague, or I
• 24:24
  Speaker 9: need a pear to to give me some input here.
• 24:27
  Speaker 9: So I don't think I.
• 24:28
  Speaker 5: Don't think that's really faking it till you make it.
• 24:30
  Speaker 9: I think that's saying, yes, I'm not sure about this,
• 24:33
  Speaker 9: Yes I'm even.
• 24:34
  Speaker 5: Afraid, but I can do this right.
• 24:38
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 24:40
  Speaker 9: And I think the other thing that kind of goes
• 24:42
  Speaker 9: with that. For me, I still tend to downplay my accolades. Now,
• 24:53
  Speaker 9: me downplaying my accolades don't make them any more impressive
• 24:57
  Speaker 9: or any less impressive to anyone but my and who
• 25:00
  Speaker 9: I'm communicating with, right, they just are I don't have
• 25:07
  Speaker 9: to defend my blades.
• 25:09
  Speaker 5: I don't have to defend knowledge.
• 25:11
  Speaker 9: They don't have to explain, I don't have to convince, right,
• 25:16
  Speaker 9: And I think that when we get that sense of.
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: Imposter syndrome, we do start feeling like, you know what
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: am I think? You know?
• 25:28
  Speaker 9: Okay, yeah, I'm a best selling author, but I mean
• 25:30
  Speaker 9: it was just blah blah blah blah blah. No, I'm
• 25:33
  Speaker 9: a best selling author. I'm a number one international best
• 25:36
  Speaker 9: selling author. That's huge. No one can take that away
• 25:39
  Speaker 9: from me. And it doesn't matter what it was on
• 25:41
  Speaker 9: I'm a number one best selling author. What I would
• 25:45
  Speaker 9: write now will be tenfold better than what that first
• 25:50
  Speaker 9: one was. Right, However, I'm still a number one best
• 25:54
  Speaker 9: selling author, and if I play my cards right, I'm
• 25:57
  Speaker 9: going to be a number two or a number best
• 25:59
  Speaker 9: selling it right, right, right. So I think it's that
• 26:04
  Speaker 9: imposter syndrome, not allowing it to take a grip of you,
• 26:07
  Speaker 9: not allowing it to allow you to belive yourself or
• 26:10
  Speaker 9: make yourself smaller around other people because you don't feel
• 26:15
  Speaker 9: confident in what you've done. And I think the other
• 26:19
  Speaker 9: thing is, you know, we grow up hearing once you've
• 26:23
  Speaker 9: done it once, you can do it again. And I've
• 26:25
  Speaker 9: always been the kind of person like, oh my gosh,
• 26:27
  Speaker 9: I've done it. I've done it once. Now they're gonna
• 26:29
  Speaker 9: expect me do it even better next time. Right, So
• 26:32
  Speaker 9: that imposter syndrome sneaks up on me. And it's that
• 26:35
  Speaker 9: some of that social negative conditioning that we get as children,
• 26:39
  Speaker 9: and we get it from everywhere, and even adults we
• 26:42
  Speaker 9: get that. Right, there's always going to be someone who
• 26:46
  Speaker 9: wants to pooh poo on you and what you're trying
• 26:48
  Speaker 9: to achieve and what you're doing, and there's always going
• 26:51
  Speaker 9: to be someone who wants to cheer you on. I
• 26:53
  Speaker 9: think the beauty of this podcast and the group of
• 26:55
  Speaker 9: people that are on here, we're truly trying to cheer
• 27:00
  Speaker 9: one another on while we're also trying to be our
• 27:04
  Speaker 9: best selves. I don't know if that answers your question, but.
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: You did, You did, And we're gonna get a little
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: bit more into balancing our We talked about this earlier
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: kind of we talked a little bit more about overcoming
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: our imposter syndrome.
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: How do we stay balanced and authentic? One thing I
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: want to hear about balance.
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: One thing you did say Heather to me, though, is
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: along our journey, we in different areas of our lives.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: We're all we're a step ahead of others, and we're
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: a step behind others.
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: There's people to our left and there's people to our right.
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Always always, So I think, what when I heard you
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: say that, Heather just reminds me of that we're not
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: it's just being who we are. And James, you also
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: said this too, like right today, we've never lived this
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: is our life today. You know, you know, I don't
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: know what I've never lived tomorrow yet. I haven't had
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: that experience, so I don't know I'm going to encounter that.
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: So then I don't I have an idea of how
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: I'll show up. I don't know exactly how I show up.
• 28:07
  Speaker 6: Ye. And the end to your point be comp and
• 28:10
  Speaker 6: even comparing ourselves to others. I mean, talk about a
• 28:15
  Speaker 6: dream feeling bad habit, Yeah, exactly, very bad habit. I
• 28:20
  Speaker 6: mean I tell people, let them like, if I compare
• 28:22
  Speaker 6: myself to I don't know, Tony Robbins, I'd probably feel
• 28:25
  Speaker 6: pretty crappy. Right, Wow, I'm not a whatever, five hundred millionaire,
• 28:28
  Speaker 6: a BILLIONAI or whatever. But it's like I tell people,
• 28:31
  Speaker 6: let people show you that it's possible. It's possible to
• 28:34
  Speaker 6: make five hundred million dollars as a coach or whatever
• 28:36
  Speaker 6: you call yourself, or let you it's possible to whatever
• 28:40
  Speaker 6: you know, come into the you know, North America as
• 28:43
  Speaker 6: as an immigrant and be a billionaire or something like that,
• 28:46
  Speaker 6: whatever it is, let me show you it's possible. But
• 28:49
  Speaker 6: avoid comparing themselves to a compared to self to to
• 28:53
  Speaker 6: other people. And just a point as well to tie
• 28:57
  Speaker 6: off what you said, Heather, the sometimes our biggest sabage
• 29:00
  Speaker 6: hers and naysayers and people that don't want us to
• 29:02
  Speaker 6: succeed are the people that are closest to us, friends, family,
• 29:09
  Speaker 6: Because well, if I'm here and then you know, Heather
• 29:11
  Speaker 6: or David or Bill or whoever is up here, I'm
• 29:13
  Speaker 6: going to I need to feel like crap or I'm
• 29:15
  Speaker 6: going to feel enough whatever, So we pull them back. People,
• 29:19
  Speaker 6: Some people pull you back down so they can feel
• 29:22
  Speaker 6: better but themselves. Oftentimes it's subconsciously. Sometimes it is done
• 29:26
  Speaker 6: consciously with malicious intent, but it's unfortunate.
• 29:30
  Speaker 9: Often, Yeah, they're uncomfortable with your growth, so rather than
• 29:34
  Speaker 9: grow themselves, they want to hold you back. Want you
• 29:40
  Speaker 9: want to keep you in the proverbial box that they've
• 29:44
  Speaker 9: decided you belong in.
• 29:46
  Speaker 6: It makes them feel safe, you know, whether it's selfish
• 29:48
  Speaker 6: that I want I want this friend and want this
• 29:50
  Speaker 6: or selfish again because well, if you grow, I'm going
• 29:52
  Speaker 6: to feel bad exactly exactly and whether or subconsciously, intentionally unintentionally,
• 29:59
  Speaker 6: we're gonna be very care boundaries.
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: And this is a good lead into the other topic.
• 30:04
  Speaker 1: That another topic I want to talk about, James, and
• 30:06
  Speaker 1: for all of you, we can touch a little bit
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: about this early on, but you know, balancing authenticity and professionalism.
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: How do we do that with our different responsibilities?
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: So you know, because sometimes we are trying to and
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: trying to meet where people are at. Sometimes we kind
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: of become a chameleon trying to like you said, James,
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: maybe two two vanilla and like we still want to
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: be professional, but we still want to be authentic too,
• 30:33
  Speaker 1: you know what I mean.
• 30:33
  Speaker 3: So it's like, how do we do that?
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: How do what strategies or ways James we can practice
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: staying authentic but yet still still being professional and not
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: not falling into inauthenticity and being inauthentic. As we start
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: to know ourselves better like you? So what has been
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: what has been some strategies you've applied.
• 30:53
  Speaker 6: It's a great point and a great question, and I
• 30:55
  Speaker 6: think something that everyone struggles with. It's how how do
• 30:58
  Speaker 6: I be myself? For well, some people don't want to
• 31:00
  Speaker 6: be themselves, but again that's the only way to be.
• 31:03
  Speaker 6: But it's your point. The way I want people to
• 31:05
  Speaker 6: like me and want people do this and think I'm
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: funnier attractive of a good looking or or a leader
• 31:09
  Speaker 6: or whatever. And yeah, we're that that chameleon and like me,
• 31:12
  Speaker 6: I was one way to one person. I agree a
• 31:14
  Speaker 6: well this with this person, but I disagree with that
• 31:16
  Speaker 6: to another person. And my invitation of people is to
• 31:20
  Speaker 6: be behaviorally flexible. So be yourself, be you.
• 31:26
  Speaker 10: And and and you know, it's it's it's it's about
• 31:33
  Speaker 10: in flexibility or it's being rigid and I'm authentical.
• 31:36
  Speaker 6: I'm gonna be rigid as he can and and I'm
• 31:38
  Speaker 6: doing this, you know, and that doesn't work either because
• 31:42
  Speaker 6: there's different people, different personalities. Some environments where you can
• 31:45
  Speaker 6: costic bet or be a little more raw, some environments
• 31:48
  Speaker 6: where it's a little more professional again while being yourself.
• 31:52
  Speaker 6: And it's it's it can be a delicate balance or
• 31:55
  Speaker 6: a challenging dance sometime. But I think if you're intent
• 32:00
  Speaker 6: is to help people and you're not being an ass,
• 32:02
  Speaker 6: and the intention is to help people make a difference,
• 32:05
  Speaker 6: I think people forgive a lot if they see you're
• 32:07
  Speaker 6: genuinely wanting to help and genuinely interested in making a
• 32:11
  Speaker 6: difference and passionate and caring, I think they can forgive
• 32:14
  Speaker 6: a lot. And worse comes towards you know, always apologize
• 32:17
  Speaker 6: or make it right. But that's my invitation. Be flexible
• 32:21
  Speaker 6: in terms of if someone's you know, quieter or louder,
• 32:24
  Speaker 6: or coss us less or coss us more, or they're
• 32:26
  Speaker 6: they're less jokes or more jokes. But I mean iteverably
• 32:29
  Speaker 6: be yourself because if that person or that company doesn't
• 32:32
  Speaker 6: like you, like I have fun, And if a company
• 32:34
  Speaker 6: wants to hire me to speak and they don't want
• 32:36
  Speaker 6: to have fun, I want to be a very serious talk.
• 32:37
  Speaker 6: I'm definitely you know, I'll do a kick ass talk
• 32:41
  Speaker 6: for you, but have an amazing talk, amazing content, great learnings,
• 32:44
  Speaker 6: great takeaways. But it's also be fun and it's always
• 32:46
  Speaker 6: gonna be funny, and I'm gonna have fun otherwise I'm
• 32:49
  Speaker 6: not doing it no matter how.
• 32:50
  Speaker 9: Otherwise I'm gonna say that would be I can't do
• 32:52
  Speaker 9: it then, yeah, exactly, And I want to be allowed
• 32:57
  Speaker 9: to be me.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Yes, exactly right.
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: And that's hard because oftentimes we want people to be
• 33:04
  Speaker 1: like us. They're different, and so we have to give
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: that space. I like you that said, James, be flexible.
• 33:09
  Speaker 1: One of the things we do in early podcasts we
• 33:12
  Speaker 1: did last year and I've brought this back. We have
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: this tool in the Giant Toolbox called five Voices. It's
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: similar to powerality in that tool. One of the things
• 33:20
  Speaker 1: we do is we call a liberation statement, where you
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: you as you know yourself better, you can start to
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: explain that to others and you can show how you
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: can show up more powerfully and help them. So I'll
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: give you one example for me of knowing myself as
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: a very positive, kind of optimistic person. What I've realized
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: in over the years by being so positive that you
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: know and just I can I basically think you can
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: get anything done. What happened was I'd have employees work
• 33:48
  Speaker 1: with me and they're like I, I they want to
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: help me.
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: But I would just overload them.
• 33:52
  Speaker 1: Would I would think they could accomplish more than they could,
• 33:56
  Speaker 1: and so I had to be aware of being authentically
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: byself positive.
• 33:59
  Speaker 3: I had to like say, hey.
• 34:00
  Speaker 1: Look, you need to let me know if you know
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: I'm not explaining something clearly, I'm not providing you enough
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: information to make the decision because I know how I
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: show up. And so knowing ourselves is kind of my
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: other podcast, the Intelligent Human Leadership, Know Yourself to lead
• 34:15
  Speaker 1: yourself and your team. But that I learned how I
• 34:20
  Speaker 1: was trying to be able to be authentic, but it
• 34:21
  Speaker 1: was kind of undermining my effectiveness if I wasn't clear
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: in explaining that and giving people permission to call me out.
• 34:31
  Speaker 3: I'm having a challenge right right on.
• 34:34
  Speaker 6: I mean communication is one of I think the for
• 34:36
  Speaker 6: authentic leadership. Communication both ways, so listening, listening and being president,
• 34:40
  Speaker 6: which most people these days have a problem with usually
• 34:43
  Speaker 6: because of this thing or just in general our own
• 34:46
  Speaker 6: feel and worry and being self absorbed. But but your point, David,
• 34:49
  Speaker 6: being giving people permission to say, hey, this is what
• 34:52
  Speaker 6: I need. I think it's very and people giving permission
• 34:56
  Speaker 6: to people to be authentic and realize that we are different.
• 34:58
  Speaker 6: And again that communication to be an authentic leader. Going
• 35:02
  Speaker 6: back to you your first point, my communication is one
• 35:05
  Speaker 6: of the keys of being an authentic leader is being
• 35:09
  Speaker 6: a great communicator, and to your point saying hey, it's
• 35:11
  Speaker 6: okay if if this is too much, or it's okay
• 35:13
  Speaker 6: if this is not okay, or it's okay if you
• 35:15
  Speaker 6: need more of this or less of that type of thing.
• 35:18
  Speaker 6: So it's what you touched on.
• 35:20
  Speaker 1: Dam I want to cut to Bill for a minute
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: because Bill and I have talked about some things about
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: appreciating these different voices in the past, Bill and having
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: the maturity right and just can you share Bill some
• 35:30
  Speaker 1: of your experience of working with some different people that
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: were quote unquote being authentic, but they're like, okay, wait
• 35:35
  Speaker 1: a minute, you know this is not healthy authentic, you know.
• 35:38
  Speaker 3: Talking.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: Well, to go back to what I mentioned earlier about
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: Boston was a jerk in public.
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, his authentic stuff was wash and we'll go with
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: a hole.
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: Since we're since we're self censoring today, but.
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he was.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: He was seriously a self serving, self centered jerk who
• 36:10
  Speaker 4: was overconfident in his own abilities and uh, you know,
• 36:16
  Speaker 4: he he set off three different sexual harassment lawsuits and
• 36:23
  Speaker 4: uh and barely avoided a a another harassment suit having
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: to do with with an employees handicap, you know, and
• 36:37
  Speaker 4: his authentic This was him being authentic.
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: It was being who he at least thought he was
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: supposed to be.
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: And uh, yeah, it ended up it ended up going
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: very badly for for him and everyone involved. He eventually
• 36:50
  Speaker 4: got blackballed from the industry, not just the company, but
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: the industry, and uh, you know, like I said, there
• 37:00
  Speaker 4: were lawsuits involved and people quit.
• 37:03
  Speaker 2: He eventually got fired. Yeah, it was just it was
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: just awful.
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: And if that's your authentic self, you really need to
• 37:10
  Speaker 4: learn to have a new authentic self.
• 37:13
  Speaker 5: But yeah, superhero mode not villain mode.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: Yes, right, yeah, that's the parality thing. Yeah for sure.
• 37:23
  Speaker 6: Yeah, I would even drill down I love that point.
• 37:26
  Speaker 6: I would drill down even further thinking that that's for
• 37:29
  Speaker 6: the jerk or the bitch or whatever whoever, is probably
• 37:32
  Speaker 6: not their authentic self. Actually, that's the person they think
• 37:36
  Speaker 6: they need to be to be loved or appreciated or
• 37:38
  Speaker 6: get shipped done, or feel powerful or powerless, or to
• 37:42
  Speaker 6: be revered. So so it's an interesting way to look
• 37:46
  Speaker 6: at it. Maybe that's maybe not and for some reason,
• 37:48
  Speaker 6: maybe they need it can't be or if they if
• 37:53
  Speaker 6: I am that, this means that or what will happen
• 37:56
  Speaker 6: if I am my authentic self? So they're that way instead.
• 37:58
  Speaker 9: Unfortunately, are consequences, right, And I think that's what you're
• 38:03
  Speaker 9: getting at, Bill. There's consequences. He's just being him, right.
• 38:07
  Speaker 9: I mean, we've all met something that I just me
• 38:10
  Speaker 9: and me it's like, no, you're you're being rude and
• 38:14
  Speaker 9: horrendous and you know, you're creating a scene, you know, because.
• 38:18
  Speaker 5: We believe the world needs you to be you.
• 38:20
  Speaker 9: And the world needs me to be you, me me, right,
• 38:24
  Speaker 9: and there's power in honoring and allowing other people to
• 38:28
  Speaker 9: be themselves and so forth there, but there's also I mean,
• 38:32
  Speaker 9: there are constricts of society, right, and and I would
• 38:38
  Speaker 9: like to hear more about this Bill and that you know,
• 38:40
  Speaker 9: he had some pretty serious consequences because he thought he
• 38:43
  Speaker 9: was being hewing V and you know it really literally
• 38:48
  Speaker 9: bit him, right.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is this is good because I
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: actually want Heather to talk about this because you know,
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: we're talking about poster syndrome too.
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: Either.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: You know, there's self awareness either way being self aware.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: So what I hear you Bill saying this gentleman was
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: not self aware. He was being authentic, but not self
• 39:08
  Speaker 1: aware of how he was showing up and it goes
• 39:11
  Speaker 1: both ways. Self aware Yeah, hopefull I'm just assuming he
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: was not self aware.
• 39:17
  Speaker 3: We'll see.
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: But if he did that damage and all these things happened,
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: I think he was not self aware because he wouldn't
• 39:22
  Speaker 1: want to do that to himself.
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: So, Heather, can you speak a little bit to that,
• 39:25
  Speaker 3: because this is something.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: That we've worked together with with MO and parinality of
• 39:29
  Speaker 1: how do we understand who we are, have that self awareness,
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: self compassion for ourselves along the journey and trying to
• 39:37
  Speaker 1: navigate this, like we said, being authentic, showing a professional
• 39:41
  Speaker 1: dealing with us. I'm feeling like an imposter. But you
• 39:45
  Speaker 1: know you've gone through this. We've had a lot of
• 39:46
  Speaker 1: great conversations in the past about this. Yeah, what's your
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: take on that?
• 39:51
  Speaker 5: I think?
• 39:52
  Speaker 9: I think for me, the biggest off moment was when
• 39:58
  Speaker 9: I realized and I was quote unquote given permission, you know,
• 40:04
  Speaker 9: it just be me to figure out who I am, right,
• 40:10
  Speaker 9: And it literally took someone telling me that who I
• 40:16
  Speaker 9: was was okay, and that person had tell me over
• 40:20
  Speaker 9: and over.
• 40:20
  Speaker 5: Again that who I am is okay before I believed it, you.
• 40:26
  Speaker 9: Know, I remember going through trainings and classes.
• 40:33
  Speaker 5: Then I would come back and be like, holy crap,
• 40:36
  Speaker 5: guess what I know stuff?
• 40:38
  Speaker 9: Because I always it was always in that self doubt
• 40:42
  Speaker 9: mode I was. But then I would get to talk
• 40:44
  Speaker 9: to somebody and I ended up just telling them all
• 40:46
  Speaker 9: the stuff and enlightening them, and it just was such
• 40:49
  Speaker 9: a joy. And that's why I ended up deciding become
• 40:51
  Speaker 9: a speaker. I found out I'm gifted there, right, But
• 40:54
  Speaker 9: if it come in for those role models or the
• 40:58
  Speaker 9: support systems that I had found and sought after I
• 41:02
  Speaker 9: was trying to myself, I wouldn't have been there.
• 41:04
  Speaker 5: But the beautiful thing about learning that it's okay for.
• 41:09
  Speaker 9: Me to be mem I don't have to apologize for
• 41:13
  Speaker 9: who I am. These are my strengths, these are my superpowers,
• 41:18
  Speaker 9: these are my authentic gifts. And yeah, I've got some weaknesses,
• 41:23
  Speaker 9: and just like anybody, I can get angry, you know
• 41:26
  Speaker 9: what I mean. But by allowing myself to be me,
• 41:31
  Speaker 9: suddenly it was an allowing of others to be who
• 41:35
  Speaker 9: they were. I could honor and respect that, even if
• 41:38
  Speaker 9: I didn't totally understand it, I could at least see
• 41:42
  Speaker 9: that they're on the opposite opposite realm.
• 41:44
  Speaker 5: Their perspective is not the.
• 41:46
  Speaker 9: Same, right, And it created that win win win, and
• 41:50
  Speaker 9: it really did away with competition. For me, there's there's
• 41:55
  Speaker 9: no reason for competition, which you know, in the women's
• 41:58
  Speaker 9: group that I used to be the director of, you know,
• 42:02
  Speaker 9: we said we believe women are better collaborators than competitors.
• 42:07
  Speaker 9: I get to be true about anyone in business because
• 42:12
  Speaker 9: Bills got his strings, David has his strings, James has
• 42:16
  Speaker 9: his strings, and I have fun and some of many
• 42:20
  Speaker 9: of them are going to overlap, right, and some of
• 42:23
  Speaker 9: them are going to diverge drastically. And the thing is,
• 42:26
  Speaker 9: like James and I have some similar background.
• 42:29
  Speaker 5: We're both in wellness, we're both doing and all time.
• 42:31
  Speaker 9: But I guarantee you our stories are not the same, right,
• 42:34
  Speaker 9: and our perspectives are not identical, right, you know, And
• 42:38
  Speaker 9: it's so important to have that peer connection, right, that
• 42:42
  Speaker 9: peer connection in those role models to help spur you
• 42:46
  Speaker 9: forward and help you overcome this you know, this discord
• 42:51
  Speaker 9: with with yeah, what we're talking about, you know what
• 42:55
  Speaker 9: I'm saying that.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yourself authentic, and that's actually leads me and we're
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: getting close to the end of our podcast time. But
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: I wanted to James throw it back to you briefly
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: here because wait, I just.
• 43:06
  Speaker 5: Want to say, in all transparency, green screen, not.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: On the piano one.
• 43:20
  Speaker 5: I'm just saying, well.
• 43:21
  Speaker 1: Maybe because yeah, we're aspiring. So James, as we're wrapping
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: up here, because I think this is important. This is
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: something you specialize in actually as being a mentor, providing
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: a support system. But just talk about that, and you
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: hit on it a little bit Heather too. As we're
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: wrapping up. I know Bill's gonna have to hop off
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: here in a minute, so we want to make sure
• 43:38
  Speaker 1: we're just going to get key takeaways. But James speak
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: to that, how do we get some help outside of ourselves?
• 43:42
  Speaker 1: I know where we'll come back. Where's there's more to talk?
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: Continue to be.
• 43:47
  Speaker 6: Can Part three. It's interesting I've I've always had at
• 43:55
  Speaker 6: least a couple of mentors at at a time. I've
• 43:58
  Speaker 6: always had at least a couple of mentors, and I
• 43:59
  Speaker 6: think I think mentorship coaches. Mentors I think are the
• 44:04
  Speaker 6: good ones, the good ones, authentic ones, but also good
• 44:06
  Speaker 6: ones are are absolutely priceless. And that's why I've been
• 44:12
  Speaker 6: in Masterminds for years, multiple at the same time, had
• 44:15
  Speaker 6: multiple mentors at the same time, mentor to beyond on
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: different things. Right, But I think it's it's priceless. And
• 44:22
  Speaker 6: if we want to shortcut the time it takes to
• 44:26
  Speaker 6: get somewhere, reduce the heartache, reduce the money we spend.
• 44:30
  Speaker 6: It's interesting some people say, oh, I don't want to
• 44:32
  Speaker 6: spend money on a mentor a coach or whatever. I'm like, well,
• 44:35
  Speaker 6: then you're going to spend money or time or energy
• 44:38
  Speaker 6: trying to figure it out in yourself and failing way
• 44:40
  Speaker 6: more than hiring the right mentor more heartache, more heartbreak,
• 44:43
  Speaker 6: more money spent, maybe even even a lot more failures
• 44:47
  Speaker 6: as well. So I love mentorship and having some sort
• 44:51
  Speaker 6: of support system, whether it's paid, whether it's free. I
• 44:54
  Speaker 6: mean a lot of people don't value things that are free,
• 44:56
  Speaker 6: or maybe have a free one and a paid one,
• 44:59
  Speaker 6: like come to your goals, commit to you.
• 45:02
  Speaker 5: And you're also I just cut you off. I'm going
• 45:06
  Speaker 5: to shut up, James and.
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: Let you go on.
• 45:08
  Speaker 6: No sells you one point please?
• 45:12
  Speaker 9: No, no, Well, I was just gonna say, you know,
• 45:16
  Speaker 9: and and it's not that true.
• 45:18
  Speaker 5: Free help isn't isn't valuable? Is it valuable? Say that?
• 45:26
  Speaker 9: But but the reality is we're not going to give
• 45:29
  Speaker 9: everything away for free, because just like you, we have
• 45:32
  Speaker 9: to make a living. We have bills, we need to
• 45:35
  Speaker 9: put food on our table. You know, we want to share,
• 45:38
  Speaker 9: we want to collaborate. We but you know the bottom
• 45:40
  Speaker 9: line is we're in business to make a living, right,
• 45:45
  Speaker 9: We're in business to be successful, we're in business to excel,
• 45:49
  Speaker 9: and our business is to help you do those things also, right.
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: Right, So the power of what I hear you, James
• 45:57
  Speaker 1: say is and what we all do, all of us
• 46:00
  Speaker 1: here on this call. And so that's is just to
• 46:03
  Speaker 1: like you said, James, you've invested time and money in yourself.
• 46:07
  Speaker 1: Same thing with you, Heather, and same thing with my
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: not just a little bit, but a lot of both times.
• 46:12
  Speaker 1: And so when somebody comes and works with one of us,
• 46:16
  Speaker 1: I look at it as like you said, James, it's
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: actually an investment in yourself, true. Right, whether it's the time,
• 46:23
  Speaker 1: if it's quote unquote free, it's still time. You're investing time,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: which is your most valuable asset or or your money.
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: But you know, the idea is that we want to
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: have a return on the investment and know that this
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: is something that's helping us.
• 46:36
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: So you're seeing individuals here that have lived this way
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: of overcoming imposters in them becoming more of their authentic selves.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: And it's a spectrum we're becoming, right, I think we're
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: in a journey becoming exactly right. But that's where you
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: want to look for people, right, James, Are people in
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: your life becoming or they just saying yep, this is
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: just the way it is.
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: I'm saying this way, Mike.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: You know that that you know, either growing or you're dying.
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: There's not like an in between. There's not a neutral.
• 47:09
  Speaker 3: Fair fair r.
• 47:11
  Speaker 6: Yeah, it's it's you know what way you're going and
• 47:13
  Speaker 6: what were you heading and where do you want to go?
• 47:16
  Speaker 6: And are you willing to invest or or pay the price,
• 47:21
  Speaker 6: because otherwise you pay the ultimate price. One of my
• 47:22
  Speaker 6: mentors says, you know you're going to pay for it
• 47:25
  Speaker 6: now or later, whether it's with health or food or
• 47:27
  Speaker 6: exercise or mentoring or whatever. You could eat crappy food
• 47:31
  Speaker 6: and say oh I want to pay for expensive food now.
• 47:34
  Speaker 6: You can pay now or you can pay the price
• 47:36
  Speaker 6: later with crappy health or or or the job you
• 47:40
  Speaker 6: don't want, the relationship, the family, the business you don't want.
• 47:44
  Speaker 6: And another thing that I love that I thought I
• 47:46
  Speaker 6: would be relevant I leave people with today too, is
• 47:48
  Speaker 6: that that you know, poor people ask how much is
• 47:50
  Speaker 6: this going to cost me? Rich people or the to
• 47:53
  Speaker 6: be rich people, you know, be becoming rich people say
• 47:57
  Speaker 6: how much is this going to make me? How much
• 47:59
  Speaker 6: is this that's going to make me? Versus how much?
• 48:03
  Speaker 6: And I can't afford it? Well, if it's going to
• 48:05
  Speaker 6: lead you to your dreams, I invite you to be resourceful,
• 48:07
  Speaker 6: find a way to afford it.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: I love that, James, I want to get.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: I want to get And Heather what what?
• 48:15
  Speaker 6: What?
• 48:15
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: You You've shared a lot here, but just some final
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: thoughts for for the audience in this podcast.
• 48:21
  Speaker 9: I think one of the things that we've all we've
• 48:23
  Speaker 9: all alluded.
• 48:24
  Speaker 5: To is there there really is no honor in playing.
• 48:28
  Speaker 9: Small, right, and there's really no advantage two.
• 48:37
  Speaker 5: Being the bossy bully rather than a leader.
• 48:42
  Speaker 6: Right.
• 48:43
  Speaker 5: I mean, I think are the two key things you're
• 48:44
  Speaker 5: talking about.
• 48:45
  Speaker 9: And and then I think the third thing that is
• 48:47
  Speaker 9: my big takeaway, and and I think that is that
• 48:51
  Speaker 9: understanding that the idea of faking it to you make it.
• 48:58
  Speaker 9: At least in the general realm of business, is not
• 49:04
  Speaker 9: something that we subscribe to, right, not in the way
• 49:07
  Speaker 9: that you know, just say it or do it, you
• 49:09
  Speaker 9: know whatever, going to do whatever. I think it's that
• 49:12
  Speaker 9: that integrity and that authenticity that actually propels us forward
• 49:16
  Speaker 9: and create the greatest successes and aligns this with wonderful,
• 49:21
  Speaker 9: amazing people that come in together on this podcast. Absolutely
• 49:27
  Speaker 9: sure there's something more amazing that I'm not thinking of
• 49:31
  Speaker 9: right now, but I won't.
• 49:32
  Speaker 5: Leave it at that.
• 49:33
  Speaker 1: No, we're so so thankful for your Heather James, any
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: last thoughts as we're wrapping up here.
• 49:38
  Speaker 6: Well, good question. I think it's just too to be
• 49:43
  Speaker 6: okay with not getting things perfect. Be okay with not
• 49:46
  Speaker 6: being perfect, because that's where the impost see it comes from. Yes,
• 49:51
  Speaker 6: be real, avoid being fake, but also in terms of
• 49:54
  Speaker 6: maybe if it's you're confidence in something, feel free to
• 49:57
  Speaker 6: fake it, to make it and just do it. But
• 49:59
  Speaker 6: also be real in terms of what you do and
• 50:01
  Speaker 6: what you're capable of and able to do. Yes, I
• 50:03
  Speaker 6: always be learning and growing and just think, well, it's
• 50:05
  Speaker 6: not that I can't. I just don't know how to yet,
• 50:07
  Speaker 6: how to figured out how to yet I think that
• 50:09
  Speaker 6: can help with that that bridge and that balance of
• 50:11
  Speaker 6: imposters and versus true fake, fakeness or bs ness, right
• 50:17
  Speaker 6: right right, It's like and knowing that we only need
• 50:20
  Speaker 6: to be a step or two ahead of the people
• 50:22
  Speaker 6: we lead, teach, coach, ment or whatever. We only need
• 50:24
  Speaker 6: to be one or two versus people thinking that. And
• 50:27
  Speaker 6: I've dealt with coaches and entrepreneurs and people for years,
• 50:30
  Speaker 6: people thinking they have to be perfect or have it
• 50:32
  Speaker 6: all or know it all in order to do someone else. No,
• 50:37
  Speaker 6: no ahead, So keep learning, growing, and as you learn
• 50:40
  Speaker 6: and grow, you lift them up and they'll learn and
• 50:42
  Speaker 6: grow more and more and more as well.
• 50:44
  Speaker 5: Right.
• 50:44
  Speaker 9: Hey, it's only only at the top if you don't
• 50:46
  Speaker 9: bring anyone with you.
• 50:48
  Speaker 6: That's right.
• 50:48
  Speaker 3: There you go, there you go.
• 50:50
  Speaker 1: And as you're both were talking, you make me think
• 50:53
  Speaker 1: of you know, nobody is one hundred percent accurate all
• 50:57
  Speaker 1: the time, doesn't have all you know, you're going to
• 50:59
  Speaker 1: make mistakes evitable. That's part of the process, right of
• 51:02
  Speaker 1: our self discovery. And so don't be afraid of that.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: Like I like what you said, James, don't be afraid
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: of the failure quote unquote failure It's only a failure
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: if you don't learn from it, right, correct, So it's okay.
• 51:14
  Speaker 1: That means you're moving it. If I would say, if anything,
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: if you have all the answers, you know everything, then
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: you're probably be a warning sign.
• 51:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.
• 51:21
  Speaker 6: It probably is that going back to that Dunning Kruter effect,
• 51:25
  Speaker 6: just enough to be dangerous.
• 51:26
  Speaker 1: Right, So encouraging you along your journey, that's what we
• 51:30
  Speaker 1: do here the Business round Table Podcasts. If you heard
• 51:33
  Speaker 1: as you heard, or you know, taking this in reach
• 51:36
  Speaker 1: out to anyone, leave a comment here on our podcast
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: where of course on YouTube, you'll see us on on LinkedIn,
• 51:41
  Speaker 1: go and follow, follow along with us. All of us
• 51:44
  Speaker 1: are on all the different social media platforms. So look
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: up James Elliott, Heather Hargrove, myself, Bill Hatch. You had
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: to drop off here. We really appreciate your comments, your feedback.
• 51:55
  Speaker 1: Go ahead and leave a five star review. That would
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: be fantastic. Share like, yeah, have all of that stuff right.
• 52:01
  Speaker 6: What do you want to hear about next time?
• 52:03
  Speaker 5: We deserve it. I'm just saying, if.
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: We really got value to this, we really want you
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: to be authentic and share that, so we will we
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: will have we have so many great episodes coming out
• 52:15
  Speaker 1: of actually got a couple more recorded with some other guests. Uh,
• 52:18
  Speaker 1: woman doctor Jennifer Brown coming up, Bryce Prescott on podcasts
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: and avatars. Uh, We've got a whole bunch of things
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: come in. We're going to be coming back onto the
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: forty eight Laws of Powers with doctor Curtis Cochrane. So, uh,
• 52:31
  Speaker 1: if you're if you haven't found your topic yet that
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: you really want to hear us cover, let me know
• 52:36
  Speaker 1: and we'll put it in there. Of course, like I said,
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: we've got some other guests pending that are coming on
• 52:41
  Speaker 1: the show, and we'd love to have you back.
• 52:42
  Speaker 3: James.
• 52:43
  Speaker 1: It was really a pleasure having you. Thank you, you know,
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: and Heather awesome to have you back again. We may
• 52:48
  Speaker 1: have to do another health in the workspace discussion again
• 52:52
  Speaker 1: because we did.
• 52:53
  Speaker 9: I was just going to say that, I know, like, well,
• 52:54
  Speaker 9: if you want to know what I want to talk about, well,
• 52:59
  Speaker 9: because we we did some, but I mean it's like
• 53:01
  Speaker 9: we barely touch the surface.
• 53:03
  Speaker 5: It's just so much there.
• 53:05
  Speaker 9: Yeah, you know, And in order to be a truly
• 53:09
  Speaker 9: effective leader, you have to be at least have some
• 53:13
  Speaker 9: semblance of wellness practices and help as well. Right and
• 53:19
  Speaker 9: I'll start, i'll stop, I'll stop right there. I mean,
• 53:22
  Speaker 9: bring it in. Be a good kid, all right.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: Thanks everybody, Thanks for joining us in the Business round
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: Table podcast. Until next time, take care by everybody.
• 53:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah,