Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #819 Collecting & Connecting

Transcript

#819 Collecting & Connecting · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast, It's the podcast for the
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  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers now.
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  Speaker 2: In each of those moments, I was reminded of just
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  Speaker 2: how amazing these three individuals are and yet how vulnerable
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  Speaker 2: they are.
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  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
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  Speaker 1: and dad.
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  Speaker 3: I don't know if we've ever had so much feedback
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  Speaker 3: on a podcast as we got yesterday the conversation about
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  Speaker 3: Barbie Has. They all came from your style simply yes,
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  Speaker 3: my stuff were very excited. What's fascinating to me about this, Kylie,
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  Speaker 3: is there are so many people who are angry about Barbie,
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  Speaker 3: but they haven't watched it or there I don't know
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  Speaker 3: clinging this some political position. I'm pretty non politically oriented.
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  Speaker 3: I just want people to be good to each other
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  Speaker 3: and know who they are. And to me, that movie
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  Speaker 3: said that didn't have everything about it. I was pretty
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  Speaker 3: clear about that, but it's a movie that gets you thinking.
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  Speaker 3: Why sit there and watch something mindless when you can
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  Speaker 3: actually watch something that makes you think. And I'm just
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  Speaker 3: I'm so grateful that we've got so many positive messages.
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  Speaker 3: There are a few people who weren't positive about it
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  Speaker 3: at that time. I'm okay with that. A couple of
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  Speaker 3: people also said, Oppenheimer, we'd like to know what you
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  Speaker 3: thought we need to talk about Oppenheimer. Wasn't it good
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  Speaker 3: to see that?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah? It was great.
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  Speaker 3: Okay, we're out of time. You know what that ship
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  Speaker 3: has sailed. It's worth watch. It's an incredible story. Christ
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  Speaker 3: Nolan's brilliant. But let's just let's just let Oppenheimer be
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  Speaker 3: because this is a parenting podcast. It's not a movie
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  Speaker 3: review podcast. And we reviewed Barbie and talked about that
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  Speaker 3: at length on Fridays, though, you and I Kylie review
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: the week. What happened this week? How did it go?
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  Speaker 3: How are we going as parents? What can we do
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  Speaker 3: to be better? We call it all do better tomorrow
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  Speaker 3: because we want to be the best parents that we
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  Speaker 3: can be every single day. Unfortunately that doesn't happen, and
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  Speaker 3: so what we do is get a bit introspective and
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  Speaker 3: a bit intentional. I'm going to go first this week
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  Speaker 3: because my one's really quick and really easy. For about
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  Speaker 3: three months, you've been telling me to get rid of
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  Speaker 3: all those ten cent bottles cans, you know, the ones
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  Speaker 3: that you save for the recycling, and you're stick them
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  Speaker 3: out somewhere and just hope that eventually you'll be able
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  Speaker 3: to take them to the recycling depot and get ten
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  Speaker 3: cents for each one and just to be really increased,
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  Speaker 3: make some real money.
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  Speaker 4: We don't have a garage. You put them.
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  Speaker 3: I put them around the corner behind the car port,
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  Speaker 3: near the shed where nobody can see them.
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  Speaker 4: And you know, you just when your house is in
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  Speaker 4: an order, even if you can't see it, you can
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  Speaker 4: just feel the energy. I just every time I walk
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  Speaker 4: around there, there's just chaos.
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  Speaker 3: I'm starting a new collection. I took Emily on what
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  Speaker 3: was it Saturday morning? We finally got it all together.
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  Speaker 3: We took all the cans and all the bottles down there.
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  Speaker 3: They broke as we lift up the bags because they've
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  Speaker 3: been out there for so long that the weather they've deteriorated,
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  Speaker 3: and there were bottles and cans everywhere we get there.
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  Speaker 3: You're supposed to take the lids off. Didn't know that,
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  Speaker 3: so we're trying to take off all the lids. They're
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  Speaker 3: getting cranky atus because we're taking up the space and
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  Speaker 3: they need to bring other people through, and we're like,
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  Speaker 3: oh sorry, we're doing the best we can. We ended
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  Speaker 3: up with about fifty bucks worth of bottles and cans.
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  Speaker 3: We had just over five hundred bottles and cans out there.
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  Speaker 3: Here's the problem. They tried to give me the money
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  Speaker 3: and it didn't transfer. We spent half an hour playing
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  Speaker 3: around with the app and all that sort of stuff,
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  Speaker 3: and they're like, Oh, I don't know, it'll go into
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  Speaker 3: the bank. It'll be fine, it'll go in. Never went in.
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  Speaker 3: Never went in. So I haven't told Emily, and I
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  Speaker 3: just gave her the money because she's been saving up
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  Speaker 3: all these bottles and cans for so long. But I'm
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  Speaker 3: fifty bucks down as a result of the collection thing
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  Speaker 3: just not working. Can't believe it. So we've started saving again, Kylie.
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  Speaker 3: We've started getting a whole lot more of those bottles
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  Speaker 3: and cans, and I think we're up to about thirty.
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  Speaker 3: When there's another five hundred, we'll try again and hopefully
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  Speaker 3: this time we'll actually get paid. But that was my
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  Speaker 3: old about it tomorrow. Oh and on the way back up,
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  Speaker 3: got her and her sister who joined us a hot
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  Speaker 3: chocolate and we had a nice, just good quality. She
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  Speaker 3: was so excited. She's like, Dad, if you're buying me
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  Speaker 3: a hot chocolate at the cafe. Does that mean this
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  Speaker 3: is a daddy daughter date? Like, she was so excited
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  Speaker 3: and it felt so good, And I thought she.
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  Speaker 2: Melked it that day because her big sister asked her
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  Speaker 2: if she'd go to the beach with her while they
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  Speaker 2: walked to the door, and she said, is this going
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  Speaker 2: to be a sister's sister date.
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  Speaker 3: After another treat? And she said, yeah, I.
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  Speaker 2: Guess so, And she said, will you buy me an
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  Speaker 2: ice cream?
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  Speaker 3: That's so funny. This nine year old knows how to
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  Speaker 3: work the system. So that's my older better tomorrow. Just
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  Speaker 3: the small things hanging out in the car for a
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  Speaker 3: few minutes, playing around at the stinky bottle recycling place,
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  Speaker 3: and then going for a hot chocolate. Really simple things,
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  Speaker 3: but it makes such a difference. Memories, fun togetherness, connection time.
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  Speaker 3: Had many of those moments over the last little while
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  Speaker 3: and just wanted to share that one as an example
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  Speaker 3: of it. That is my older better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 4: Well, I'm glad you get to have sunshines with unicorns
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  Speaker 4: and rainbow.
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  Speaker 3: Tell me about your older better tomorrow.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I actually had a really beautiful experience with one
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  Speaker 2: of our daughters. I had to take her to an
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  Speaker 2: appointment and in the process of that appointment, I just
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  Speaker 2: I was able to kind of see with new eyes
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  Speaker 2: the challenges that she was going through, and it was
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  Speaker 2: a really really beautiful moment coming home. As the evening
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  Speaker 2: wore on, there was just I could just see there
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  Speaker 2: was some emotion there and a need for kind of connection,
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  Speaker 2: and so I was able to kind of wrap her
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  Speaker 2: up in my arms in my bed and we sat
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  Speaker 2: there and we had a beautiful connective chat together, and
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  Speaker 2: before she left, we said a little prayer and I
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  Speaker 2: gave her some oils specifically for her and sent her
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  Speaker 2: off to bed, and it was just really calm.
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  Speaker 4: Well, the next thing you.
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  Speaker 2: Know, I've got the next daughter who's having a bit
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  Speaker 2: of a meltdown, and so we had to go through
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  Speaker 2: the same process with her. But now it's like, I
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  Speaker 2: don't know, quarter past nine, I'm really ready for bed.
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  Speaker 2: You have been traveling all week, and I'm doing this
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  Speaker 2: all alone. I've got Miss nine who's walking around the
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  Speaker 2: house because she is consistently procrastinating bedtime, and she shares
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  Speaker 2: a whole heap of challenges that she's going through at
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  Speaker 2: the moment and not sure how to kind of work
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  Speaker 2: through them. And so we deal with that little meltdown,
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  Speaker 2: and again we say little prayer and we have some oils,
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  Speaker 2: and then the next door comes through the door and
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  Speaker 2: we start all over again. And so much of it
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  Speaker 2: is exhausting, So much of it is draining, like mentally,
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  Speaker 2: physically and spiritually, even like it just a drain on
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  Speaker 2: my being. And yet in each of those moments, I
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  Speaker 2: was reminded of just how amazing these three individuals are,
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  Speaker 2: and how strong and capable they are, and yet how
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  Speaker 2: vulnerable they are. And you can be all of those
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  Speaker 2: things in the same breath. And so my odd deal
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  Speaker 2: bed tomorrow is just when we take the time to
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  Speaker 2: slow down and actually really connect with our kids, we
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  Speaker 2: see them for who they really are, instead of seeing
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  Speaker 2: them for the challenges that they bring into our lives.
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  Speaker 2: We actually get to see their brilliance. And I was
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  Speaker 2: so grateful for that, because when life is busy, you
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  Speaker 2: can really just get caught up in the challenge of everything.
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  Speaker 2: But to be able to have those moments with them
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  Speaker 2: was really special.
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  Speaker 3: It's the highs and lows, isn't it. It's the roller
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  Speaker 3: coaster of parenting, literally in the same moment. It's not
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  Speaker 3: like you go from moment to moment one is high
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  Speaker 3: and one is low. This moment is both so low
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  Speaker 3: because my child is struggling so much and so high
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  Speaker 3: because my child has come to me to say I
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  Speaker 3: need talk.
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  Speaker 4: And I think that's what I relished.
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  Speaker 2: I just was this acknowledgment that there was so much
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  Speaker 2: big emotion going on for all of them, and yet
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  Speaker 2: they knew where to come. Yeah, and I'm so grateful
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  Speaker 2: that in spite of that challenge, that they see me
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  Speaker 2: as a place that's safe, that they're able to come
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  Speaker 2: and just find the love and connection and acceptance that
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  Speaker 2: they need in that moment.
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  Speaker 3: A little bit of a shorter I'll do better tomorrow,
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  Speaker 3: the novel, the shorter podcast and all, but really one
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  Speaker 3: take home message and one alone, I think, and that
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  Speaker 3: is be there for the kids. Tim is how they
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  Speaker 3: spell LV. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin
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  Speaker 3: Ruland from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer. Hey,
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  Speaker 3: thanks so much for listening. We really appreciate it. Oh
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: and if you are a Happy Families member, can I
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: just say a huge thank you to you. We are
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: so grateful for the way Happy Families members are really
• 8:26
  Speaker 3: contributing to all of the content that we produce for
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: free to help families be happier. If you would like
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: to be one of our Happy Families members and get
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: access not just to the free stuff, but also our
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: premium content, we would love for you to join us
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: and be a part of the Happy Famili's family. You
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: can find out more by clicking on Happy Families dot
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: com dot au and then having a look at the membership.
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: Please take a look. I think you'll find that it's
• 8:49
  Speaker 3: incredible value and it does so much to support the
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: work that we do to help get the message out
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: that families can be happy.