Latest / Two Personal with Joy Taylor / “Hollywood Will Break Your Heart” — Nina Parker x Joy Taylor on Gatekeeping, Betrayal & Survival

Transcript

“Hollywood Will Break Your Heart” — Nina Parker x Joy Taylor on Gatekeeping, Betrayal & Survival · Two Personal with Joy Taylor

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: La is dope.
• 0:00
  Speaker 2: Hollywood is tricky and it's like the mafia. You don't
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: know you've gone to you get that kiss on the forehead, babes,
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like I've.
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: Crashed out enough. Honestly, I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: I would have burnt this whole motherfucker dude, if I've
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: thought about it.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I'm not trying to have this vanilla assex like please,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: if you can only do Doggie Styllin mission, I get the.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: Fuck out of here. I am not gonna fight with y'all. Brother, Stay,
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Li's still on a beach with Barcelona with a man. Okay, Hey, guys,
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: welcome Too Personal. I'm Joy Taylor. Thanks so much for
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: joining us this week. If you haven't already, made sure
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: that you hit subscribe and we will get to Never
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: Too Personal later on the show. I'm so excited to
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: have Nina Parker on the show this week. She is
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: the host of Friday Night Vibes on CBS. You've also
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: seen her on Red Carpets and hosting reunions on VH
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: one Some Spicy Reunions, and she has created a plus
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: sized line for Macy's, a plus sized fashion line so
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: I can't wait to get into our conversation. But first
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: I want to talk about some of these creators who
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: who endorse Trump, who are now having a little bit
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: of buyers remorse. They're saying that they either regrets voting
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: for him or endorsing him because he's not doing the
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: things he said he was going to do, or that
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: they feel like he was misrepresenting himself.
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: But just overall, they're.
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Backing away from Trump after the regime has started doing
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: exactly what they said they were going to do. And
• 1:27
  Speaker 3: I'm really torn on this because I do believe in redemption.
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: I do believe in second, third, four to fifth chances.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: I do believe that the purpose of education and conversations
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: and awareness is to help people to change their mind,
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: even ones that are on the farthest end of things
• 1:44
  Speaker 3: like That's the point is that you get new information,
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: you update your information. That is what intelligence is. You
• 1:50
  Speaker 3: learn things, apply it grow. What's frustrating for me is
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I feel like we've reached this point in society where
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: we have to have consequences to learn. You should be
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: able to have a conversation with someone more intelligent and
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: more educated and more experienced than you and apply that
• 2:10
  Speaker 3: information as an adult without having to experience it yourself. Now,
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: in certain situations, people got to learn their own right
• 2:17
  Speaker 3: and there's no way to talk someone into or out
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: of an experience, and they have to learn through consequences.
• 2:24
  Speaker 3: But politics should not be one of those things. If
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: someone is telling you we are going to do this,
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: our plan is this. We have projects twenty five, we
• 2:34
  Speaker 3: have plans to get immigrants out of the country. We
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: are going to do all these things that we said
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: we're going to do, and now we're doing them. It's
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: kind of hard for me to get on board with
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: you guys being surprised about it.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: So I'm very torn.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: I do want people to learn, I do want people
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: to be able to grow. I want people to express
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: regret and be given grace to learn and adapt to
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: new things. But man, I wish we weren't also fucking
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: stupid that we have to consequences in order for us
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: to understand what is going to happen.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Read a book.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: You should not have to burn the building to the ground.
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: You shouldn't have to tear democracy apart. You shouldn't have
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: to start the country over, pull it out, press reset,
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: blow in the cartridge to know that these consequences are
• 3:19
  Speaker 3: real and lasting and in some ways not reversible. So
• 3:24
  Speaker 3: I guess more than anything else, I'm just frustrated because
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: I don't want to be that person that's like, you
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: can never change.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: You were on that side, stay on that side. That's
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: not the point.
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: But hopefully we can get to a place in society
• 3:35
  Speaker 3: where we don't have to burn everything to the ground
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: to feel the consequences of our choices.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I guess that's where I'm at with it. Now it's
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: time to get to Nina Parker. All right, guys, I am.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: So excited to have my friend Nina Parker if Too
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: personal television host Extraordinary. You've seen her on the e
• 3:52
  Speaker 3: Red Carpet hosting reunions on VH one, and she is
• 3:57
  Speaker 3: the co host of Friday Night Vibes on TBS. And
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: she is the first plus sized black woman to create
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: a line exclusively from Macy's. Pina Parker, Welcome to your Passion,
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: cu I'm so excited to be here, me too, So
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: tell us about New York Fashion Week. We'll start there,
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: because you just.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: Had a show. How did it go? It was good?
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: It was it was euphoric, like inject this in my
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: veins is feeling. I really want women to feel included,
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  Speaker 2: and I think New York Fashion Week does a really
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: good job of making plus women feel like they are
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: not worthy. So when you are watching these shows, you
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: really don't see yourself reflected.
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: You can't fit the clothes.
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: You have plus sized designers who don't make clothes over fourteen,
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: and it's just really disheartening. So I never really felt
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: included in fashion Week. I never felt like it was
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: for me. It's just like when you watch a show
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: and you don't see anybody black, You're like, oh, Okay,
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: this isn't for me.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: So I would tune it out.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: And so I am very much like, okay, I'm done
• 4:58
  Speaker 2: like complaining, Like what can I do to like make
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: a difference. And so I was like, we're gonna do
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: this show and we'll just create our own lane for
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: fashion and invite like you know, plus actresses and models
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  Speaker 2: and people that you know don't get invited to these
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  Speaker 2: shows so that they can feel a part of fashion week.
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: How do you feel about the term plus size?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: I don't care. It doesn't bother me.
• 5:26
  Speaker 2: I mean you think we need it, yeah, because it
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: exists I mean, do we need black you know what
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: I mean? Like it's the thing, so yeah, of course.
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I would say black is black as
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: a well, okay, let's have a conversation then yeah black.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: I think it's different.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: Well, the reason I ask is because it's to me,
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: it's sort of like the term mental health. Like I
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: don't really love the term mental health because it comes
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: with this thing, this like weight on it that it's like, oh,
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: you're dealing with your mental health yea, as opposed to
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: going to the dentist, or you busted your elbow so
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: you're going to the doctor to get a cast. Like
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: the practical part of health is just you take care
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: of your body, your brain, your emotions live in your body.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Mental health kind of has this connotation of.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Negativity or you're crazy, or you're going through something, or
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: you need medication.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: This depends on who you ask, right, right, but.
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: It does have this like it has a separate category
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: than the rests of health. And the reason I asked
• 6:26
  Speaker 3: that about plus is because people have bodies.
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and just because.
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: Fashion, the fashion industry has decided that they're only making
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: things up to this size.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: Why like that to me?
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: And I understand the need for the term, But is
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: there some point where you know, the fashion industry understands
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: that there are sizes that go on past what they offer.
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: I mean, probably not.
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: I mean fat phobia is incredibly prevalent in our society,
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: probably more now than it has been, because I feel
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: like we're in a space where things are going backwards,
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: like progress that was made to me in every direction,
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: whether it's we're talking about gender, whether we're talking about race,
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: whether we're talking about size. It's it's like you know
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: when they say, like if you don't do politics, politics
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: will do you.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: It's the same thing for me.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Like whether or not, whatever you call it, it doesn't
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  Speaker 2: matter what you call it, because the truth is we
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: our bodies are different, and that's fine. Like it's fine
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: that there are petite women, right, Like, there's not a
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: there's no issue with people saying petite because it's small, Right,
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: there's no issue for a skinny gene. Nobody cares if
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: you call it a skinny gene. But for whatever reason,
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: when the body is larger, they're all of a sudden,
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: it's controversy. But the thing is, it's like just because
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: it's larger does not mean, it's negative thing, you know
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: what I mean? Just because we're describing the different types
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: of body sizes. The truth is like size inclusivity does
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: not exist for most fashion Yeah, most of these labels
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: and brands don't make sizes over a twelve. If we're
• 7:57
  Speaker 2: talking about what happens at fashion week, runway size, and
• 8:01
  Speaker 2: if you're over a six, you're considered plus for runway.
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  Speaker 2: So these things exist, whether the term exists or not,
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  Speaker 2: it exists. And not only that, but the discrimination that
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: goes along with it exists. So you can call it curvey,
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  Speaker 2: you can call it plus size. You know, you could
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: call it hour glass. But either way, it's still very
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: distinctively different. And in fact, I like that that it
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: is distinctively different because my body is different and I'm
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: proud of it, and so you know, I'm gonna call
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: it what I want. And for me, it's like if
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: you're not in that community, it's really not your say.
• 8:30
  Speaker 2: So to like wonder what people are calling themselves, Just
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: like if I use the N word, I don't want
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: a white person telling me if they feel like, oh
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: that's not okay, how they feel about you know what
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, because it's like you don't really deal with
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: these issues. So for you, you know, I really only
• 8:42
  Speaker 2: want to have that conversation personally with other plus women
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: because I kind of feel like, unless you've been in
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: that arena, it's like you don't really know what that
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: fat phobia feels like on a daily basis. So I
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: feel like if a plus woman doesn't want to be
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: called plus, I respect that. Yeah, you know, call yourself
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: whatever you'd like. But I mean, I think a term
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: does need to exist because the clothing brands ignore it,
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: and if they ignore it intentionally, Yeah.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Do you think that it's an association with health?
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: Because, as we know, just because you are fit does
• 9:16
  Speaker 3: not mean that you're healthy.
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: Just because you're skinny does not mean that you're healthy.
• 9:20
  Speaker 3: Just because you are plus sized not mean that you
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: are unhealthy. But totally there is this immediate association that
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: if you are plus sized, you got diabetes, you're not
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: taking care of your body, you have no when and
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: most plus women I know workout, yes, you know what
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: I mean? Like I think, and for me, I've I've
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: my sizes have differed, but I've always been a thicker
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: girl because I've been taller, you know, I've always I
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: come from a very curvy family. You know, I've always
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: had boobs, like you know, from basically puberty on. I
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: was like flat chested at twelve, and by fourteen I
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: had like bloomed and you know, so it's like it's
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: my body has always for most of my life since
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: the tea has been like the subject of, you know,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: a conversation because there were grown men trying to talk
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: to me at fourteen because I look grown even though
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: I was a kid.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: And so I think, like.
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: You know, it's it's always been associated with health. But
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: I think like most people you're when you're plus, I
• 10:16
  Speaker 2: think there's an assumption that it's just.
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: Your eating habits.
• 10:19
  Speaker 2: I will say, now, especially with like the introductions of
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: GLP ones, there's this conversation about health. And if you
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: have ever had like a thinner friend, you know they
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: be eating too. So it's like, you know, a lot
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: of times it's genetics. And I think, like most things,
• 10:33
  Speaker 2: if people are educated, then you don't deal with that ignorance,
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: and then you deal with people who just really don't
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: care enough. Like I've had clean bill of health most
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: of my life, right, I've never really had any major
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: health issues. So I think like there where I've had
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: friends who are smaller who have had consistent health issues,
• 10:50
  Speaker 2: and so it really is a myth because I think
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: there are so many people who are taking care of
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: themselves that have other issues where we're finding out PCOS
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: is now existing. People can't lose weight, you know, you
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: hit a certain age, you know. So I think there's
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: it's so nuanced. It's just easier I think for people
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: to be kind of discriminatory when it comes to size,
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: to be like, well.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: You just need to work out, you just need to
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: eat less. That does not work for everybody.
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: Well it doesn't actually work for anybody, like like yes,
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: you want to be in a calori and all that,
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: but like that, it's not as simple as working out
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: and eating less. You can eat perfectly, and your body
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: is going to look different than other people, just like
• 11:30
  Speaker 3: mine will look different.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Like everyone's body is different inherently.
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: And we struggle different, struggle different, and we have different ages,
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: we have different internal things going on, we have different
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: sensitivities to deal with everything. Like you think about like
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: people who have acne prone skin, right.
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: Like they so it's always like something people right, and
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: you're like I never thought. I never thought that once
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: they're in it, they're like, it's I think, like it's unfortunate.
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: One of those things where like unless you've dealt with it,
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: you don't have a lot of sensety.
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: But I will say, the one thing about size is
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: that we all got somebody big in our family. Yeah,
• 12:05
  Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying, Like your mama, your aunties,
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: your uncle, like you know, a lot of us, A
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: lot of people who are fat phobic have larger members
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: of their family who are paying attention. And I personally
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: pay attention to, like my friends, the comments that I
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: see because you know, now we can see everybody's comments,
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: and I pay attention to like what people are saying
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: when they think I'm not paying attention right, and like
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: how you actually feel about larger bodies. And there's just
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: so many myths about size, and like for love, people
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: don't think that. There's so many things people don't think
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: you deserve when you're bigger, And it's really crazy because
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: everybody's just living and trying to exist. And the fact
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: that you think people don't deserve a job or love
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: and you know, is crazy to me, just as crazy
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: as it is when someone stops making genes as a
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: certain size, Like it's you know when I say, like,
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: fat phobia is real, it exists, and it's a spectrum
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: just like everything else where. It's things that people like,
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: I've awesome weight, and I've had people be like, oh,
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: but you've always been beautiful, And I was like, I'm never.
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: Said I was Who said I Wasn't that? No, who
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: said I was ugly? You know what I mean?
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Like, did I tell you I lost wayna?
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Did I tell you I felt ugly before?
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: And they'll just say it to me like, well, you've
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: always been beautiful, and I'm like, I have a mirror.
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: You're associating beauty with size and I'm me, you know.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: And so it's it's you see, people's like internalized fat phobia,
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: and it's like sometimes they don't know they're doing it
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: and you do it to yourself too. It's not like
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: and that's the thing with me, I'm like, ain't nothing
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: you could say. I ain't said to myself at some
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: point until I got to you know, this place. But
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: it's a conversation I think we have to have because
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: you know, things change so quickly. Diagnosis come. Someone can
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: be fat phobic. In the next week, you on medication
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: that puts you on a steroid that makes you gain
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: twenty pounds, and now all of a sudden you understand
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: what it feels like, because you know, it's like it's
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: people need to be very careful with the words that
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: they use because it's like you you could you know,
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: sometimes you two step from.
• 13:57
  Speaker 1: Being in the community and you didn't even know it.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: So wash your mouth.
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: What's at what point did you become comfortable with your body?
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: Because we're both on camera. Sure, we're in this you
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: know Hollywood space, which can be is not can be
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: is ferocious, Yeah, to bodies, And I want very badly
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: just to say to women, but it is in fact
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: not just to women. I mean people are obviously more
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: horrible to women and more horrible to black women, but
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: men in Hollywood deal with this as well. Where I
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: mean even just aging, like it is just it is insane.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: My favorite is when like someone a celebrity will pop
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: up after like thirty years and they're like, what happened?
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: Like years, what the fuck are you talking about? They
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: were seventeen the last time you saw them on air?
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: That's what happens.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: What are you talking about access we have, right, Like
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: we have so much access to every movement and we're
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: posting like our breakfast every day. So it's like everybody,
• 14:58
  Speaker 2: it feels like they know what it's like.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: Look yeah, like they're living their lives, you fucking psychos.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: But I I deal with this all the time as well,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: in a completely different way, with people critiquing my body constantly.
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: But I I made a conscious decision to like be
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: happy with my body.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I like to. I want to improve and I
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: want to get better.
• 15:20
  Speaker 3: But like I'm healthy, sure one, Like so no one
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: does like shit about myself.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Like if I'm healthy, I don't give a fuck. What
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: do you think I look like I just.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: Had dental surgery last week, and I was like out
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: of it, you know, And I was like, it's such
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: an underrated thing to just be healthy and not have
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: any issues.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: Nothing appreciate more than being sick or being.
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: Sitting in them lobbies and getting going have and get
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: prescriptions and you know, dealing with things like.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: Right is that the smoothies from no one?
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: And it's just like though, I mean it's still a
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: work in progress. Like I don't know in this world
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: if there's ever a moment where you're one hundred percent okay.
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: I have good and bad days just like everybody else.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: But I think what changed for me, and it took
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: a really long time. It took a really long time
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: for me to be honest about it too, because I
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: think there were times where I would say I was comfortable,
• 16:14
  Speaker 2: but I wasn't really right. And now I think because
• 16:18
  Speaker 2: I don't talk about it as much, that's how I
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: know I really feel this way. I used to talk
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: about how I have this mirror in my living room
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: and I'd have to walk past it every day, and
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: every time I walk past it, I would say something negative.
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: I would see something I didn't like and I'd be like,
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: oh girl, your booty is too flat, or you know,
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: it just always something. And I thought one day, like,
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: what would just happen if I just started picking something
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: I like and just saying that compliment instead of the
• 16:40
  Speaker 2: negative thing. And what actually ended up happening for me
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: was one I was dealing with a lot of body dysmorphia,
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: but also I was just comparing myself to so many
• 16:50
  Speaker 2: different people that I would see.
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: And I was like, this is my only body, Like
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: this is it?
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: But I got two functioning arms and legs, a heart
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: that works, and I don't want to spend the rest
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: of my life wishing I looked like someone else, because
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: it's just such a miserable existence. And I'm really really
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: proud of my body for sustaining me this long. And
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: also I just was like, the better I treated myself,
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: the more I noticed I attracted people who treated me better.
• 17:17
  Speaker 2: When I was talking bad about myself, I attracted people
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: who treated me poorly. That includes friendships, relationships, and when
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I just made the decision like I was gonna love
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: myself no matter what.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: If I had a pimple, if my.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Belly was spilling over and I was bloated, if I
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: you know, didn't feel cute, I was gonna love myself anyway.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: I started attracting people that gave me that type of
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: unconditional love too, and it was work. I've been in therapy,
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: like this world will do a number on you, and
• 17:45
  Speaker 2: you know, it's definitely more booze than collaps and so
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: I think you have to learn how to like tune
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: that out and be like what's important to me?
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: Like what do I care about?
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: We're gonna do this show and they are gonna be
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: people who pick our appearances apart online and d M
• 18:01
  Speaker 2: you and say that. But you know, I always find
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: like the negativity is always the loudest, Like sometimes the
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: positive people don't leave comments, they don't, you know, but
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: but you still make that impact. And for me, I'm like,
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: i just got to show up and be myself and
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: then I'm okay with whatever people have to say because
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: it just doesn't it just doesn't matter.
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: It doesn't. It really doesn't.
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: Know. So you've been in the entertainment space for a
• 18:24
  Speaker 3: long time, yeah, and have been in a lot of
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: different places, and I've wanted to ask you, like, what
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: do you think of entertainment coverage today, because it's changed
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: a lot the you know, the shows have changed a lot,
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: and it's it's a reflection of the changing landscape of
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: media in general. You know, it's not just entertainment news
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: that is shifting. But yeah, like, what do you think
• 18:51
  Speaker 3: of where it's at right now?
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's I think it's probably.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: The worst I've seen as far as like opportunities. Okay,
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: I know a lot of talented hosts who are not working,
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: people who study the craft, who are good at their jobs,
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: who just can't find a job. There are a lot
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: of TV jobs that don't exist anymore, right, remember the
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: era of if there was the View and the Talk
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: and the Real, and you know, those don't exist anymore.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: I think the View is the last one standing. Whereas
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: there were so many available, you know jobs, and there
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: were entertainment news jobs and red carpet hosting went to hosts,
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: and now like it's like I'm not even hosts, it's actors,
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: it's influencers.
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: You're getting like TikTokers.
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: And it's like that's not necessarily a bad thing because
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: I always say in every in every industry and entertainment,
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: you always gonna have people who slide through. You always
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: gonna have people who are having a moment who are
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: going to get a job, And it's like your job
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: to sustain through that because it's always they always gonna
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: pick the nice shiny object for a little bit. And
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I still am of a belief and maybe too idealistic,
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: that like talent will really really will prevail. But I
• 20:06
  Speaker 2: think people have to do more of like what you're
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: doing starting a podcast, like putting your own content out
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: and stop. I think this is really a moment where
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: you can't wait for a network to just come pick
• 20:14
  Speaker 2: you up. Like that's not happening anymore. We used to
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: be able to, as talent go get do generals with
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: networks and you know, talk about the future shows and
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: pitch ideas. And while that's still too to an extent,
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: like it's really really changing, a lot of people aren't
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: getting called anymore.
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: And the people who are getting these hosting jobs.
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: You got Joe Mazanillo hosting Dealer and o'deal Island, and
• 20:34
  Speaker 2: you know, you've got Derek Kuff just got extra. You know,
• 20:38
  Speaker 2: he's a dancing background. And it's not that these people
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: can't do the jobs, but typically these jobs would not
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: go to hosts and dancers ten years ago. We'd be
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: going to people who have these backgrounds. And it can
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: be frustrating when you have these skills and nobody's picking you.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: And I think, like right now, I've found that it's
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: making competition really bad. People's relationships are geting strained with
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: their agencies with networks, but with each other. I've seen
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: crazy competition with other hosts where people are fighting to
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: get a job doing underhand feel like mailrose place where
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: people call it and trying to get your job, and
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: you know, it's a really strange time and I know
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: it won't last forever, but it's you know, entertainment is
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: really getting hit hard. And I feel like there used
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: to be so many young women who'd be like, I
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: want to do this, and a lot of people are
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: turning into creators and I think, you know, there's something
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: to be said for that, because I think that is
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: giving you visibility. But it's a frustrating time. I think
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: for a lot of people, I'm really lucky to have
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: a show on air because it's more becoming more and
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: more rare, and I think it's you know, the thing
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: I look at is it won't last forever. But I
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: think it's a very changed industry than when I entered,
• 21:52
  Speaker 2: and a place that I you know, kind of saw
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: coming a couple of years ago. But if you would
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: have asked me ten years of god have been like, oh,
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: we're not going to be there, and things are yeah.
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: I mean, I think social media has changed the landscape
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: in a lot of different industries, but I do see
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: it hitting entertainment the most, and you know, being in
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: proximity to entertainment with you know, this show, but also
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: just with sports because sports is changing in that way.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: Also was like, you know, more creators entering and things
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: like that.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: I don't necessarily think of it as a bad thing.
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: I think the industry changes dramatically every couple years anyway.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, the industry is completely different than it was
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: pre twenty twenty, twenty nineteen to twenty twenty, totally different business.
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: These shows, I mean, I had a show because I
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: saw the future but said, maybe I'm crazy, But these
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: shows did not exist like what he had, podcasts, digital shows. Certainly,
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: people were not doing things on Zoom. Like everything has
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: changed so much we forget. Like when I was doing
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: the show on network, we did not have guests on
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: unless they were in person.
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, now from their cars on their phone. It's like
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: it's forever evolving. But I think, like.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: I think, now, is this this is the most change
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: I've seen in such a short amount.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: I think that it's entirely positive when it comes to
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: entertainment though, because what's not positive? The shift like and
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: that positive or negative, I just don't when you talk
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: about it not lasting.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: And maybe this is just like the old school.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: You know, entertainment news, like enthusiasts yeah, but I enjoyed
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: seeing like really good entertainment interviews with like an actor
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: who was promoting a film with a real entertainment journalist.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: I like seeing you know, directors.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: I like seeing artists come through and like really have
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: conversations and really like promote their work, real movie coverage
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: that like those shows about.
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: Them, it was about the project. It wasn't about the
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: person doing it right, you know right, and it was
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: like polished and well.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: And what I don't like about entertainment news socially is
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: that it tends to skew negative because you want to
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: get clicks. So it's either like this super overly you know,
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: not the thing is wrong with positive things, but it's
• 24:13
  Speaker 3: like this tier jerking I should say type of story,
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: or it's something super negative because you want to get engagement.
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: You don't think there's a middle ground.
• 24:21
  Speaker 3: Well not on the internet. Like the Internet is just
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: not a place for nuance. It's like fuck you or
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: I love you and that's it.
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: Whereas those shows provided that nuance for me as an
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: entertainment fan, I never.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: Felt like they provided nuance because I felt like it
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: was pretty positive. Like I never felt like when you
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: watch shows like you know Access or Extra.
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: Or E News.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: For me and working at these places where I worked
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: at Access, I worked at you know E News TMZ,
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: I always felt like, aside from TMZ, their goal was
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: to make the celebrity happy, please the publicist, promote the project.
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: I've never really felt like they provided an even ground
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: at all. I've always felt like it's skewed entirely positive
• 25:10
  Speaker 2: for the celebrity. What I think has happened and what's evolved,
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: and what TMZ was a part of changing was bringing
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: more of a realistic view to the world about what
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: the real story is.
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: And I think what's happened is the veil has.
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Been removed because of social media, because of paparazzi, because
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: of these things, that veil that used to exist where
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: you could put a story out about Julia Roberts rocking
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: the red carpet regardless of you know, and this never happened,
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: but to say she cuts somebody out, you wouldn't hear
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: about that, right because they would just be talking about
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: the movie. Now, what's happening is there's going to be
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: somebody who sees it, somebody's going to catch it on camera,
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: and it needs to be addressed.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: So I don't necessarily feel like it's clickbait.
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: I think what it is is it's just really raw,
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: and I think people are catering less to celebrities than
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: what has happened when I started entertainment News in two
• 25:53
  Speaker 2: thousand and seven was that everybody was bowing down and
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: whatever they want.
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean.
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: And now I feel like that's not happening. I don't
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: necessarily really feel like it's incredibly negative. I think it's
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: incredibly authentic. But I do think that there are people
• 26:04
  Speaker 2: who take headlines, but that's been happening. I mean, that
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: was happening when I was at TMC in two thousand
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: and seven, where they were taking headlines and making it whatever.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: So I, you know, I think it's like that middle
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: ground now is kind of for the fan to kind
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: of find through the stories that are being told. But
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: a lot of times what's happened is these celebrities have
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: their own voice now because they have their pages, because
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: they have social media, their tiktoks. They don't really need
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: anybody to tell their story. It's really just who they
• 26:28
  Speaker 2: want to have a conversation with, because their story is
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: getting told ten different ways.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: I guess for me, I just don't need to know
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: everything about it. Yeah, but that's also because you're in
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: the industry.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: The right care like unless you are really doing something
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: horrible that needs to be like that you need to
• 26:46
  Speaker 3: be held accountable for. But I'm like the part of
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: me misses the old days.
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: You don't know nobody's business. I didn't. I don't need
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: everybody's fucking business.
• 26:55
  Speaker 2: But where we've also been on TV, right, I think
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: like if you think of the woman who's in sacri
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: Into that works for the state and she gets home
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: at six o'clock, she's no, no from Sacramento, by the way,
• 27:06
  Speaker 2: that's why I use that city, but like she's not inundated.
• 27:10
  Speaker 2: I mean, we see, we see these people on the street.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: We're friends with some of them. Where I say this
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: with my best friend who's also in entertainment, and I say,
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: we're a little jaded and not in the sense of
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: its negative, but it's just very normal to us. And
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: so because of that we know these people, we respect them.
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: It's like, oh, I don't want I don't want to
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: get involved, or I don't want to know her business,
• 27:27
  Speaker 2: or I like Easter Ray, I.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Don't you know, I don't care like who she married to,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: Like that's not my business.
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: But I think that's just because we we kind of
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: in it as well, So we just have a very
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: different view than like And what I try, what helps
• 27:41
  Speaker 2: me keep stay grounded in this industry is thinking about
• 27:45
  Speaker 2: the people like that the woman who's watching this at
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: six pm, Like what's her point of view?
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: Like how do I tell a story to her?
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: I always say, like, how tell the story to Phyllis,
• 27:54
  Speaker 2: who's my mom in Sacramento.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: But I'm always like, how do I.
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: Tell this story to Phyllis that she can understand? Because
• 27:59
  Speaker 2: if I'm talking to you, I'm a differently, You're gonna
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: get a whole different story. So I think it's like,
• 28:03
  Speaker 2: you know, a lot of times we forget like that
• 28:06
  Speaker 2: it's such a privilege to be able to be in
• 28:09
  Speaker 2: this bubble and it can feel, you know, it can
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: feel very different. Living LA is you know, like say
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: never never Land, LA and New York are so I
• 28:20
  Speaker 2: can't say that the city of.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Los Angeles is a real place. Hollywood, LA, Yes, Holly
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: is different. Hollywood is not a real I always say
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: La is dope.
• 28:28
  Speaker 2: Hollywood is tricky because Hollywood is very different.
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: And I love La I love La Natives.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: My parents are La Natives. Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood, go come
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: for your edges. You know, it's it's a it's it's
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: a dirty game and you only the strong survive and
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: you as you know, it will drag you and it
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: will it won't wait for the body to drop. Okay,
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: Like this industry don't love nobody, and it's gonna break
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: your heart more than once. And I think, you know,
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: to the people who want to get in it, like,
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: understand that this industry will break your heart over and
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: over again. But you also will get amazing joys and
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: pleasures and like opportunities.
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: But it comes at a price.
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: And I think that it's hard to tell young people when
• 29:16
  Speaker 3: I give advice to young people or talk to young
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: people who are getting into the business.
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: I you know, I was.
• 29:23
  Speaker 3: Just talking to someone the other day and she she
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: asked me about navigating spaces with all white men who
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: won't listen to her ideas.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know if I gave her good advice.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: I was like, they're not gonna listen to your ideas,
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: so put it in an email and send it to
• 29:44
  Speaker 3: them and then bring it up in the meeting and
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: if they steal your idea, you can show that it
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: was your idea.
• 29:49
  Speaker 1: That's that's like the best I got for you, I've got.
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: I've gotten to points in my career where I've I've
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: had to stop telling my ideas and meetings, yeah, because
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: I would I would tip off my producers like, watch,
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna say this idea.
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a great idea.
• 30:02
  Speaker 3: Right, They're going to steal the idea and say it
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: was their idea, and they're not going to acknowledge it
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: even though I've said this idea in front of a
• 30:09
  Speaker 3: room full of people, and it what happened for it
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: happened for like three weeks straight, to the point that
• 30:13
  Speaker 3: the producers were like, stop.
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: Saying your idea.
• 30:16
  Speaker 3: And it's like, I you know, it's just little shit
• 30:19
  Speaker 3: like that, which does happen in other industries as well.
• 30:21
  Speaker 3: It's not just Hollywood, obviously, I'm sure it happens lots
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: of creative industries and other places as well. But when
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: it comes to this industry, your idea can literally change
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: the course of a show, a movie like history if
• 30:36
  Speaker 3: it falls into the wrong hands. That's why we have
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: all these lawyers signing everything all the time.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: So what advice do you give.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: Young people who are getting into the business.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: Maybe you know I'm a fighter. You not taking my
• 30:51
  Speaker 2: stuff like it's just not happening. But I'm also okay
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: with like not being liked. I'm okay with you not
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: like in me, but respecting me. People know pretty early
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: working with me that I'm not the person to play with,
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: and I think if you let them think they can
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: play with you, they will absolutely And you have to
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: set boundaries and you have to fight. Like being a
• 31:15
  Speaker 2: black woman in this industry means you're gonna fight every
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: day of your career.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: There's never gonna be a point.
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: And I thought this when I was younger, when I
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: was in my twenties and even my early thirties, I
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: was like, I can't wait till I get to.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: This point and I don't have to fight anymore. It's
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: not happening.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: I think Yola Davis and Halle Berry just had a
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: conversation separately, but they were both talking about how they
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: steff to fight for things. And these are seasoned, talented
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: women on the top of they know at the top
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: of the industry. You got an Oscar and she's talking
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: about how she had to fight for her Netflix bill.
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: So it's never going to be a point where you
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: don't have to fight. So that's number one. But also
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: like knowing like ethically right now you have the best
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: Like when I started, you could steal stuff and nobody
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: could care now like and also when I started, you
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: were interning for free right now, that's.
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: Though, these are not things that exist anymore.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: Right, So you do have like legality on your side,
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: which is great, but you can't go around threatening to
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: sue everybody at a networker. You you ain't gonna be
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: there very long and then your reputation people are gonna
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: be like, well, this person's sue every damn body. So
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: we don't know if we want her in this newsroom
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: because newsrooms are very toxic. There are toxic environments by nature.
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: My first I remember my first day at a newsroom.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: I was at kron and NBC. It used to be
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: the NBC affiliate in San Francisco. And I walked in
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: and you the sports department was the first department, and
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: these men were cussing each other. I was nineteen years
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: old and they was. When I tell you, they was
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: and they was about to get to fits.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: I was like, well what.
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: First of all, I was like, what is happening? Second
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: of all, I loved it. I was like this, I
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: found my people, and I was but you gotta you
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: kind of like passivity is not for no like news
• 32:51
  Speaker 2: gatherings that is like I don't think people understand it
• 32:54
  Speaker 2: is the wild West in this thing. And it's like,
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: so what I would tell this girl is like one
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: like half your ideas hold strong. But if someone was
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: to steal it, the first thing I would do is
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: go up to me and like, so what are we
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: what are we opening with? Because I know I brought
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: this to you on Monday, so I would love to know,
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: like how are we gonna tack this together? And do
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: you want to reach out to the people or did
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: you want me to reach out to my contact? Because
• 33:13
  Speaker 2: when I sent the email on Monday, you know I'm
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: gonna I'm We're gonna start cute. But I think like
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: people are in a position where they think they don't
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: have any power, and that's a trick people play on
• 33:24
  Speaker 2: you in this industry. For me, I'm like, you're not
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: playing that trickle because I'm not afraid to go somewhere
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: else because I've made the decision. I'm working in this industry,
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: so you not gonna bully me out this position. And
• 33:35
  Speaker 2: you're not bullying me on my story, You're not bullying
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: me on my sources. It's not happening. So let's we
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: could walk this walk together, or I can walk it along,
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: but I'm walking this motherfucking walk.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: So that's you know, if.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: People aren't equipped to do that and have those conversations,
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: this is not the business for you because you got
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: to have bite to that bark and you got to
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: let people know, like and once you do it a
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: few times and they'd be like, okay, so NIA said
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: this email, and I happen to me a few times,
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: you know where I was like, do I let the
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: fool chop is saying and show them I'm from the
• 34:04
  Speaker 2: Bay Area, or like do I stay poised but poise
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: don't get you nothing but overlooked.
• 34:10
  Speaker 1: No.
• 34:11
  Speaker 3: You you have to keep it cute initially, but the
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: second that you see that it is not going cute,
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: just a little baby crash out.
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I mean it's a way to do it professionally.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, a professional, a professional.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: This is not a thing where you got to cuss
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: people out and body slam them.
• 34:28
  Speaker 1: However, you know, listen, what you're saying is is the
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: gospel really though? And I don't I don't know.
• 34:35
  Speaker 3: Maybe I need to get my courage up because everything
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: you're saying is the truth, and it's the truth or
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: sports as well.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: And I guess I can't even imagine.
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: It's it's just but it's very similar. I mean, you're
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: telling me the story when you were nineteen. I mean
• 34:48
  Speaker 3: I started in the business in two thousand and seven
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: in turning for free of course, and man, these men
• 34:54
  Speaker 3: are fighting and throwing each other the walls and stuff like.
• 34:57
  Speaker 1: I don't think people understand that.
• 34:59
  Speaker 2: Like the news used to be crazy, and especially local news,
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: because it's all kinds of things going on. You can
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: sitting next to the person doing the gang shooting and
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: then you talk about sports. And I was running the
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: streets and I was in this position for Call Contact
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: four where we would go to businesses that were scamming people,
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: you know, so we.
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: Would go to like a launch and get you killed.
• 35:18
  Speaker 2: We'd go to a laundromat in Oakland be like, why
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: aren't you giving them their money back?
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: And I'd be like, yeah, trying to. Like that's why
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: when people and I did love it hip hop, people
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: were like the bag. I was like, girl, was it Oakland?
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: Please Babes. I was on Broadway like and so when
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: people are like, how could.
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: You do love it hip I'm like, baby listen, I
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: was built for this, Like I was first of all,
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: this is nothing hip hop was my family barbecue every weekend,
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: like this ain't nothing by please Babes. But also like I,
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: you know, I really it's almost like Some Dog Millionaire
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: when we would watch Some Dog Millionaire, you know how
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: like when he was answering every question was relation to
• 35:52
  Speaker 2: something that happened and he didn't know why those things
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: were happening, but it ended up leading to him winning.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: And I feel like life is like that, Like you
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: go through these challenges and you'd be ruggling and you
• 36:00
  Speaker 2: don't know why you're going through it, and it really
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: it really does add up like puzzle pieces. And for me,
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: all of the things that like I experienced before, whether
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: it was like heartache or not, really built me for
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: being able to have like this tenacity in the industry.
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: And so, you know, back to your original point about
• 36:18
  Speaker 2: like what do I tell this girl. I'm like, you know,
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: you gotta be okay with taking l's, like we all
• 36:23
  Speaker 2: take them, but you got to you gotta make the
• 36:26
  Speaker 2: decision on what ls are okay to take and which
• 36:28
  Speaker 2: ones you need to stand up for. And that's only
• 36:30
  Speaker 2: a decision you can make. But I'm telling you right now,
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: if you let people do something, they will do it.
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: In this industry, there's not going to be politeness. And
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: it's like the mafia. It's like you don't know, you gone,
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: so you get that kiss on the forehead, babes, so
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: you got to act You're so right, And I don't
• 36:47
  Speaker 2: trust nobody, Like I can't stress to enough how I'm
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: trying to tell my other host friends. These people are
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: not your friends. You got to have your tribe outside
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: this industry because confiding your mama, like, these people do
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: not care about you. And people are always looking for opportunity.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: And I hate to say that it sounds so cynical,
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: but no, it's the truth. It's absolutly people. I was
• 37:14
  Speaker 2: I had I got a job and I had someone
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: write a letter to the network like don't hire her,
• 37:19
  Speaker 2: hire me, bitch.
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: It's crazy.
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: That's I really didn't think that kind of stuff happened
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: when I first got and I was like, it's not
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: like that, and it really if they really like that, yeah,
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: they are.
• 37:29
  Speaker 3: They really, they're they're really They're really pathetic though, because
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: they are.
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: They are pathetic. They are because I you know.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Someone like you, someone like me who has been in
• 37:43
  Speaker 3: the business for as long as we have. I'm sure
• 37:45
  Speaker 3: we could swap similar stories for the next ten hours
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: and it would be juicy.
• 37:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it would be.
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: It would be see but all probably very similar stories.
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: Because we started in the business at the same time.
• 37:56
  Speaker 3: We've come up in the same era. We've seen so
• 38:00
  Speaker 3: many different things happen and changes in the industry.
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: I'll be it, you know, on different sides of it.
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: But and that's why I appreciate like how you move,
• 38:10
  Speaker 2: and I think like real can recognize real because I
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: think like you, you know, like you're a person who
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: always wants to include people. I'm very much like that too, Like, hey,
• 38:19
  Speaker 2: come to this thing, and you don't take it personal
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: if people can't come, but you want to extend that
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: that opportunity. And there are so many people who want
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: to gate keep everything, they want to gay keep friends, jobs, opportunities,
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: and I'm always of the belief of like, but there's
• 38:31
  Speaker 2: an abundance for all of us. And I think that's
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: why I've had longevity in this industry as well as you,
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: because we're both very like the more the merrier like type.
• 38:40
  Speaker 3: Of in your talent and your relationships and the work
• 38:44
  Speaker 3: and what you can do. And that's why I say
• 38:45
  Speaker 3: those people are pathetic because they are not confident in
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: what they do. They're not confident in what they bring
• 38:51
  Speaker 3: to the table, they're not confident in their longevity, and
• 38:54
  Speaker 3: that's why they gatekeep, and I think they're they're really
• 38:57
  Speaker 3: the term gatekeeping when we started saying that was very
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: interesting to me because.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure I don't know if you got this, but.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: In the sports side of things, like you know, there's
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: obviously very few women when I started in the business,
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: and very virtually none on the opinion side of things.
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: But gatekeeping wasn't a thing because there was no way
• 39:18
  Speaker 3: to reach and ride like you were the only one to.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: Be gate kept.
• 39:21
  Speaker 3: There's nothing to ask, there was nothing to there was
• 39:23
  Speaker 3: no one to interact where there's no one to mentor
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: there was nothing like that. And I think you know,
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: the successful women of our generation, because that was our experience.
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: Has made it a point to always have another seat
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: at the table for the next generation because I'm not
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: doing this shit forever and I don't want all of
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: the blood, sweat and tears that I put into the
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: business to go to waste when I'm no longer doing it.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: And that's not like some grand standing thing. It's like,
• 39:55
  Speaker 3: what the fuck was the point of all this trailblazing?
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: But not everybody thinks like that.
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: A lot of people think I'm gonna try to do
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: this to the wheels fall off, and I opened this
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: door for nobody.
• 40:04
  Speaker 3: Else and they may not stay sit on a beach
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: with Barcelona with a man. Okay, I'm not trying to
• 40:08
  Speaker 3: be fighting. I am not gonna fight with y'all forether
• 40:10
  Speaker 3: as what the fuck.
• 40:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not about to.
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: Just now enter that era where I'm like, you know,
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: like how much longer do I want to do this?
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: And it's also why I started my clothing line and
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: why I've started other opportunities because I'm like, you know,
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: TV is has changed, and I think I was a
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: little bit ahead of the curve in the sense of like,
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: let me it wasn't a podcast for me, but it
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: was other businesses, right like my clothing line and starting
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: up you know, other ventures and investing in things for me.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: I just always have never been okay with other people
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: dictating like where my future is gonna go, and if
• 40:41
  Speaker 2: you're a part of a network, they get to kind
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: of dictate that. And I think, like when I got
• 40:45
  Speaker 2: fired from CBS and I was working at The Insider
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: as a correspondent and I got fired, well, my contract
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: didn't get renew the same thing. I was devastated and
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I did not have a plan be and also was
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: horrible at money management.
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: Has spent on have no money.
• 41:00
  Speaker 2: I was living check to check even though I was
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: making good money, because I was silly and buying stuper shit. Right,
• 41:04
  Speaker 2: I'm like, now, why the hell do I need two
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: Gucci bags in one city? Like I was doing dumb
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: shit because I had never I came from no money,
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: you know. And I really learned a lesson when I
• 41:14
  Speaker 2: got let go because I didn't I didn't have a plan,
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: and I was like, what, Like, I just thought I
• 41:19
  Speaker 2: was gonna work here forever.
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: I didn't know this was I knew you had.
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: Renewed options but I just assumed you would always want me.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: And that was really when they were doing this thing
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: where they were testing talent. I'll never forget it. And
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: actually one of my friends came to test, who is
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: now a friend. She wasn't a friend then, but we
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: knew of each other. But they were testing other black
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: women and I at the time would write my own
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: scripts and they had these girls come in and reading
• 41:42
  Speaker 2: the script I wrote and testing, and they would show
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: in the newsroom. They would show the studio like the
• 41:49
  Speaker 2: studio tests, and I'd be in the newsroom working and
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: they were testing other black women reading my script.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: And this is when I say the industry will break.
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: Your heart, Like imagine the gut punch of like at
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: a place that you love and working at a dream
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: job and seeing them replace you in front of your
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: face and not care how you feel about it.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: But they don't care. They do not care. They don't care.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: And I think when you become a business woman, at
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: least this was the transformation for me. When you become
• 42:17
  Speaker 3: a businesswoman, when you become an entrepreneur, for me, I
• 42:20
  Speaker 3: started to look at those things differently because there is
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: no I don't want to say no but soul and
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: loyalty they're just not words that are associated with business.
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: And you can have a business that has soul, you
• 42:37
  Speaker 3: can have a business that has loyalty, but the rule
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: is not that. But you know, it's like you're not
• 42:43
  Speaker 3: conditioned for that initially, because I think with hosting your
• 42:47
  Speaker 3: yourself right, you're not an actor, you're not playing a.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Role your face. You're pouring yourself, your heart and soul.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Into getting stories and having a point of view and
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: writing and and I think when you're in college, like
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: and when I was in school for journalism, I truly
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: believed if I worked hard, I could get it. And
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: that's the dream they saw all that's yeah, that's what
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: they say.
• 43:08
  Speaker 1: You work hard, you can and that's bullshit.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: Like you, sometimes you work hard and nobody wants it,
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: nobody wants you, nobody will hire you. Sometimes you will,
• 43:16
  Speaker 2: you will kill yourself and it does not matter. And
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: that was a really hard lesson for me to learn
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: because I really bought that as a young woman in college,
• 43:24
  Speaker 2: like if I grind, this is mine And in a
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: sense it's true. But it's when you get to the
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: higher level, when you're with these major networks it's like
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: I said, it's like the mafia. They do baby, you
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: get the horse head in your bed.
• 43:38
  Speaker 3: Well, I think I was lucky in that I I
• 43:44
  Speaker 3: was very observant. Not at the beginning, but after a
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: while I I kind of started to notice how the
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: industry works internally externally, how friends of mine are being treated,
• 44:00
  Speaker 3: how things moved, how things worked, and I disassociated the
• 44:06
  Speaker 3: personal attachment to it. You can still do great work
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: that you care about and not believe that the business
• 44:15
  Speaker 3: owes you anything, or this particular company owes you anything.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: Like they're a company.
• 44:20
  Speaker 3: Their goal is to make money, and you know, their
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: goal is not to make sure that every single employee
• 44:26
  Speaker 3: feels warm.
• 44:27
  Speaker 1: And they don't. They don't care. They don't care, and
• 44:30
  Speaker 1: I don't know, and maybe this is just like the
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: chaos scramblin to me. I don't know that they're supposed
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: to care.
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: I think that individual managers to treat people with respect
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: and if there is something happening, to prepare someone in
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: a proper way, or to you know, break news gently
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: and be an empathetic human being.
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: But if a you know, note.
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: Comes down from a pie, like, there's nothing they can
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: do about that, just you.
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: Know, it's hard for me and maybe it's just the
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: libra in me. I take it personal. I do, and
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm I. I think it's amazing that you
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: can like disassociate from that part, like for me, very personal,
• 45:11
  Speaker 2: and there were things I should have taken, like there
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: are things who take personal for sure. There are definitely betrayals,
• 45:17
  Speaker 2: there are definitely ways that that companies can manipulate you,
• 45:20
  Speaker 2: take advantage of you. And it's a spectrum, like we
• 45:23
  Speaker 2: said earlier, and I think like there's there's like a
• 45:26
  Speaker 2: way to like deal with people right like, and then
• 45:29
  Speaker 2: there's a there's a way to have like respect for
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: your talent, and then there's a way where they just
• 45:34
  Speaker 2: you know, gut you. And I think like it depends
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: on the leadership, it does, and you should be prepared
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: for both right all times. Don't sign your own shock.
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: You should always be prepared for both. I mean, I
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: think I'm the kind of person that takes things personal.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: That's that's who I am. I believe everything is personal.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: I don't I don't always subscribe to like it's just business.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: It's just but you know, it's it's personal. It's not
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: you know, it's just business not personal. No fuck that now,
• 45:59
  Speaker 2: sometimes that shit is personal and imn'na make you feel
• 46:02
  Speaker 2: it something. And I'm you know, and I'm a little petty,
• 46:05
  Speaker 2: you know, so just remember we could be personally, could
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: be business both ways.
• 46:09
  Speaker 3: I am extremely petty and I let nothing go. I'm
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: just a slow kill. So yeah, twelve years now, when
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: I pop up out the bushes, don't act like you
• 46:19
  Speaker 3: know why I'm here.
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: You know, I had this thing when I started when
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: my show on He got canceled, I started therapy to
• 46:25
  Speaker 2: deal with the loss of that, and my therapist asked me, like,
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: what's your goal? And I told her my goal was
• 46:31
  Speaker 2: to feel peaceful, and she'll she'll do this thing because
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: I have you know, I'm a bit of a hot head.
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: People don't know.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: It's funny because you can be from facing people still
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: don't know a lot about you and I and that's
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: by design, Like I don't need everybody know my motherfucking business.
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: But the people who know me know I have a
• 46:48
  Speaker 2: little bit of a temper.
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: I have a little I'm a little you know, I
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: got a.
• 46:51
  Speaker 2: Mouth on me and you know, and she was so
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: she'll say things to me where I'm like yeah, they said.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: This to me, and are you know I'm about to do.
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: I'm about to go up in this motherfucker like and
• 47:00
  Speaker 2: she's like, is that gonna bring you peace?
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, ooh, she's right.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: And so it started me in this routine of like
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: emotional maturity where I had to make the decision on
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: like peaceful actions and I have to decide like Okay, yeah,
• 47:16
  Speaker 2: like you can say this and it's gonna feel good
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: in the moment, but like what is it actually gonna
• 47:19
  Speaker 2: give you? And those were that's about that's about being
• 47:22
  Speaker 2: an adult, and that's really choosing you, right, Like it's like, yeah,
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: like these businesses are gonna come and they're gonna go,
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: and there are ways that you can handle it. And
• 47:30
  Speaker 2: what I found is like there's just not one way.
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: And I think when you're an emotional person, you just
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: see it this way and then you learn there are
• 47:36
  Speaker 2: way way different ways to move and learning from that.
• 47:41
  Speaker 2: And I feel like when I talk to someone like
• 47:43
  Speaker 2: you who might see it differently, that's a perspective I
• 47:46
  Speaker 2: need because in those moments, I realize that my emotions
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: are gonna always win.
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: So now I don't.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: Respond to things like if I'm highly emotional, I've trained myself.
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: I'm not responding to this email. I am waiting an hour,
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: like I have to have little practices. But like that
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: stuff you learn after, like you've gone cussed out your
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: fifteen person, You're like, oh, I can't move like this
• 48:08
  Speaker 2: when I get to my forties because I'm.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Going to have a heart attack. So I think, like,
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: because no, for real, Like this industry will do that
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: to you. No, it will.
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: It will make you very, very angry, and it's time.
• 48:17
  Speaker 3: I don't want to you know, I don't want to
• 48:19
  Speaker 3: be an authentic yere. I have crashed the fuck.
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: Out, but you wouldn't be human if you didn't.
• 48:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they were warranted crash outs, Like I don't
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: feel like I've crashed out enough.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: Honestly, I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: I would have burnt this whole motherfucker dad if I
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: thought about it. I thought about it, for sure, Like
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: we wouldn't you listen, Mab would have been too la fires. Look, prison,
• 48:44
  Speaker 2: prison is keeping me on Australian arrow. How prison doesn't
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: keep people on the straight and arrow. I don't know,
• 48:50
  Speaker 2: because I'm not trying to go into an episode of
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: OZ and you're like, Okay, I got to rethink that.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: I'm not trying to go up in there.
• 48:56
  Speaker 3: But I think that over time that practice has been
• 49:02
  Speaker 3: the most beneficial for me. Is that reacting to things
• 49:06
  Speaker 3: in the moment. You have someone you call U, VENTSU,
• 49:09
  Speaker 3: you call phyllis, you know, you call it hamm, you
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: call someone that you can vent to and just let
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: the chaos out. But reacting immediately to things, I mean,
• 49:24
  Speaker 3: that's what phills prisons right Like it's literally it's like
• 49:28
  Speaker 3: a permanent reaction to a temporary emotion is what can
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: destroy your life. It can destroy your career, it can
• 49:35
  Speaker 3: destroy your relationships, it can destroy your freedom, like it can.
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: And it feels good to let that out. But there are,
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: and I can promise you there are very effective ways
• 49:50
  Speaker 3: to get revenge that to not include screaming and kicking, yelling,
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: And in my experience, you would prefer that I kick
• 49:59
  Speaker 3: and screaming because what I'm going to do is quite
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: permanent and irreversible.
• 50:05
  Speaker 1: And I don't even seek revenge anymore, do you know?
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: Okay, you see, I mean, not not to everyone, but
• 50:11
  Speaker 3: there are there's a list for sure.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: I don't anymore, because I just I've I've made the
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: decision that like, karma comes, but sometimes.
• 50:19
  Speaker 3: You believe in karma, even motherfuckers be living the straight
• 50:25
  Speaker 3: McDonald's and the question is yet to do his big
• 50:30
  Speaker 3: one on any of them.
• 50:31
  Speaker 1: Okay, so they are.
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: I can only speak personally because I won't speak for
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: the world because I would say I've been questioning the
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: existence of karma with the things that we've been seeing,
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: right exactly. But I will say if I'm dealing with
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: a one on one basis, right, like say somebody does
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: me dirty. I used to be like, let me show
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: this person. It just became too much of a job
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: and making this person the focus and not making myself
• 50:54
  Speaker 2: enough of the focus. And it felt like I'm giving
• 50:57
  Speaker 2: them more by like even if they don't know that
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: I'm thinking about that. I made the decision that karma
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: was in my job like this, It wasn't my job
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: to dish this out like I would let God do
• 51:06
  Speaker 2: his thing and it's time.
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, And I had to like let.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: That part of me go cause it was destroying me
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: because I was out for blood too much and I
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: was like, who do I.
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: Think I am? Like do I think I'm John guy.
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: It like what am I? I do?
• 51:20
  Speaker 2: Think I'm drunk gotting absolutely, Like okay, I'm not a doctor,
• 51:24
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not out here saving lives, like right, like
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: there are people who are literally digging dishes for a living.
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: There are people who are out here like blood, sweat
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: and tears for their jobs. Like I get in front
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: of a camera, I get hair and makeup like I like,
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: I do have it good, you know, And there's gonna
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: be pros and cons with this. So I had to
• 51:39
  Speaker 2: really get out of my own way in the sense
• 51:42
  Speaker 2: of like a lot of my my issues were how
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: I was responding to things.
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: But it's like it's a learn I think that's just life.
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: Like you you grow and you learn, and you go
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: through phases where you know you want something. And now
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: I'm in a phase where I'm choosing peace no matter
• 51:56
  Speaker 2: how people are treating me, because it's just not even
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: I'm in a place now where I don't have the
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: ill you have to ban with for people like that,
• 52:02
  Speaker 2: Like I'm like, you know, God, I'll do with you,
• 52:05
  Speaker 2: let's hope.
• 52:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I don't the karma thing for me.
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: I was. I used to be like that.
• 52:11
  Speaker 3: I used to be very much like karma is a thing,
• 52:14
  Speaker 3: like you know, God don't play by me so and
• 52:18
  Speaker 3: lately I'm like, I don't know, maybe he does. I
• 52:22
  Speaker 3: don't maybe a little bit, maybe you know, and and
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: I don't know that I'm seeing the but it takes
• 52:29
  Speaker 3: time results of this. But you know, we also don't
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: know what people's what people's struggles are. But I also
• 52:36
  Speaker 3: was like firmly and like, I don't wish bad on
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: other people. I don't wish death on other people. I'm
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: off that I definitely wish bad. I definitely hope they suffer,
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: like completely, and not you know, not everybody that's wrong
• 52:48
  Speaker 3: to me obviously, because to your point, it's not worth
• 52:50
  Speaker 3: all of that, Like people make mistakes, people do things
• 52:53
  Speaker 3: you know to hurt you, and they may not even
• 52:55
  Speaker 3: do it intentionally or maybe they just haven't a weak moment.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: And then there were the others, and the others you
• 53:00
  Speaker 1: know can rotten hell.
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: But you are so right about everything that you're saying
• 53:04
  Speaker 3: peace to me is like my number. I'm almost pee.
• 53:08
  Speaker 3: I think I've pieced myself out of like things.
• 53:11
  Speaker 1: I'm supposed to have. I'm like, wait a minute, that
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: have too much peace.
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: I need a little I need a little disruption of Hey,
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: I need somebody his hair up.
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: Okay, please, I'm peace around here. I don't know that
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: was the thing. Oh my god. I call the candles
• 53:28
  Speaker 1: places in order, you know. Yeah, I don't need a
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: bubble bath tonight. You want to hear people get cuss
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: out a little bit. Yeah, I need a little bit,
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: you know you?
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: Because I really like I see those memes and I'm like,
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: I have peaced myself into like.
• 53:41
  Speaker 1: I'm not such a man.
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I'm in such a good place because you know how,
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: I know I'm gonna get places. I love my own
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: company so much.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, but is that not myself all the time?
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: I don't know, because I'm not anymore.
• 53:56
  Speaker 1: I don't have time to sleep. And let me tell
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: you what piece is?
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: You sleep when you're peaceful, you black babes? You got
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: bonus all have you know?
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: What's so funny? I bought that, like the sleep tape
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: for your mouth? No you didn't.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: I go to bed one way. I wake up sleep
• 54:13
  Speaker 2: tapes across the room. I'm naked, like the clothes is off,
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: Like I don't know who I turn into. I must
• 54:18
  Speaker 2: be awarewolf something happens in the middle of the night.
• 54:21
  Speaker 1: Well, how I plan to go to bed bonnet off?
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: Every time? Everything I go to bed.
• 54:26
  Speaker 2: One way, wake up a complete I'm like, I tussled
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: with somebody, and.
• 54:29
  Speaker 1: I'm like, how am I gonna have a partner? I
• 54:31
  Speaker 1: cannot sleep cute anymore. It's not happening.
• 54:33
  Speaker 2: I have made the decision when I get married, we
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: are having two separate bedrooms because he can't see me
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: like this, I is.
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: It is wild. What are you a cuddler? No? Do
• 54:42
  Speaker 1: you see these titties? No?
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: Like I it's too this is if you yeah, if
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: you if you've watched any of these coddlers on the couch.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: I mean I'm a massive sleep cuddler. Oh you are, yeah,
• 54:53
  Speaker 1: poor girl.
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: No, no, get like, let's do our thing and like
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: cuddle while we're watching Netflix and then you go into
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: your own and then I love like hugging up until
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: we fall asleep. But I don't want to cud a
• 55:03
  Speaker 2: while I'm asleep. Oh yeah time, Oh god no, that's nightmare.
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: Nightmare slid out of here.
• 55:12
  Speaker 3: I want him to have so important, Like if you
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: do not have the same sleeps.
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: What do you sleep on?
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: What temperature seems to work. Sixty eight, okay, sixty six
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: for me. I am a very very hot sleeper. Okay,
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: like I sweat, say, very very hot. I need it
• 55:27
  Speaker 2: sixty six. But this is the thing. I have a
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: sixty six and then I wrap myself in a fuzzy robe.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: Oh so I so I can't sleep with clothes on, okay,
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: because it's like I don't end up making the rope
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: and then and then I wake up in the robe
• 55:40
  Speaker 2: is off. But mainly I do not sleep with.
• 55:42
  Speaker 1: Clothes but you but yeah, so you have it on
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: six you have a cold and then the.
• 55:45
  Speaker 2: Bank like it's freezing, and then I put blankets on. Same,
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: I have to have a blanket. It could be one
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: hundred and eight degrees. I need a blanket. Same who
• 55:53
  Speaker 2: slips up blankets?
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: People?
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: There's a lot of people who do they sleep without blanket.
• 55:58
  Speaker 2: Lay down a psychopath.
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: You're just sleep with no blankets.
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: I know people who just sleep on top of their
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: bed like a vampire in a casket. It's crazy. But
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: I love being cold. I love being able to like
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: be cold, and like I have this really amazing fur
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: blanket and I have a fuzzy robe, like I need
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: to be cozy. I like a soft mattress, like I
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: want to be on their.
• 56:18
  Speaker 3: You have you have See this is the thing, this
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: is the thing that scares me about about men being
• 56:24
  Speaker 3: in the house.
• 56:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why he's gonna have his own bedroom.
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: We're gonna have together rooms. That's the way that I
• 56:30
  Speaker 3: need them. Yeah, that's it.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's no, there's not a whole lot of room
• 56:35
  Speaker 1: for commonises. That's why I.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: Said, we have a together room where we have intimacy,
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: and then we have have my bedroom with my stuff
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: and my things, and he can have his room with
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: his whatever whatever. Men do with themselves, but they by themself,
• 56:50
  Speaker 2: but they nancy have his room with his airbed. I
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: don't know whatever is y'all doing in your rooms? That
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: look a mess with one dresser.
• 57:01
  Speaker 3: I want I want when I build my I'm never
• 57:04
  Speaker 3: never going to build a house.
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: That's insane undertaking.
• 57:07
  Speaker 3: But when I remodel a house that is already built,
• 57:10
  Speaker 3: I want a sex room. Have you ever watched that show,
• 57:13
  Speaker 3: the sex room Show? No, but it sounds amazing, it's fantastic.
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: It's a fantastic watch for you.
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I've been in a sex room, but I've never
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: like seen in like someone's house.
• 57:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen one. How was that? It was great?
• 57:26
  Speaker 1: I mean it was beautiful. It was like a beautiful home.
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: Did you partake in the section room or no?
• 57:30
  Speaker 3: No?
• 57:30
  Speaker 2: But they were just like, oh, we have this room.
• 57:32
  Speaker 2: Do you want to see what it looks like? And
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: I was like sure, interesting it was. It was like
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: a regular room, but then it had like walls with
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: things on it and they had one of them things
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: like where you could X where you get Yeah, you'd
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: be like that wouldn't have held me. So I was like,
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: this is when we talk about plus I. It's like,
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: you know, something's called I don't know what it's. I
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: don't know what it's called.
• 57:52
  Speaker 3: I had crazy story once I was I was in
• 57:55
  Speaker 3: my underage drinking days. I went to this party that
• 57:59
  Speaker 3: this promoter. Because I was how underage drinking happened. This
• 58:03
  Speaker 3: promoter invited me and my girlfriends too. So he's like, oh,
• 58:05
  Speaker 3: like come through, like have some free drinks forever. And
• 58:08
  Speaker 3: like the some free drinks was getting us anywhere. We
• 58:11
  Speaker 3: went into this party and like people were walking buying
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: these masks like all this weird ship and they had
• 58:17
  Speaker 3: one of those those bondage houses in the middle of
• 58:19
  Speaker 3: the party.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: What's called Okay, so this it's like Bondage World X.
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: It's a wood and.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: It has it has like bondage straps yeah for the wrist. Yeah.
• 58:33
  Speaker 3: And I was like, what is the what are the
• 58:36
  Speaker 3: vibes in here? Like, there's some interesting energy in here.
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: Forget the bondageacks in the middle of the bar, which
• 58:42
  Speaker 3: I'm just ignoring for this free vodka Cranberry. And it
• 58:46
  Speaker 3: was a demon dating night, so you matched with your
• 58:51
  Speaker 3: dating demon.
• 58:51
  Speaker 1: I was like, what does that mean?
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: No?
• 58:54
  Speaker 1: Former? Free drinks is worth for a little liquor.
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: Another barnag and I'm sure we can get in another
• 59:03
  Speaker 3: bar in that sounds it was crazy.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: I thought I was introduced to this as a as
• 59:07
  Speaker 2: an adult, so I was able to like prob and
• 59:09
  Speaker 2: it also wasn't activity happening. They were just like, do
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: you want to see our sex room? You know, they
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: were very they were very proud of the bondage. It's
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: been to parties that like our parties and slas. You know,
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: I've been in LA for twenty years. I've seen every
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: kind of party.
• 59:22
  Speaker 3: Actually, the craziest party I've ever seen in that regard
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: was in Washington, d C.
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, you want to be in a weird.
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: There's there's you know, there's like there's hope and not
• 59:33
  Speaker 2: a saint religious over here. It sounds blasphemous.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: Let's just call it sex act, but you know, women
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: dating night.
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: It's I've been to every kind of party you can
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: imagine in LA and and thank god, most of us
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: just been like observing. But you know it's it's you said,
• 59:52
  Speaker 2: yours was in DC. But you know there's like a
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: really popular, like upscale sex club that exists and in
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: LA and it's like very elite and you have to
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: get accepted and like it's a whole They have an
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Instagram page and everything, but like it's it's they have
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: these elite like it's a like sex clubs are a
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: very big part of me of like underground LA culture.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: Really yeah, yeah, I.
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: Know a few people who have participated in And you know,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 2: is it just like group sex.
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 1: It's a yeah, I mean it's group sex.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 2: It's the thing about these parties is these people are
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: very how.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 1: Did we get here?
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 2: I don't know how we got here, but you know
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: we're here. But these people are very open about it.
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 2: And there's no one because everybody's there of their own volition,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 2: like no one's forcing you to do anything. So it's everything.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 2: It's people who just like to observe. It's people who
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 2: participate in group, you know, activities. There's one on ones,
• 1:00:47
  Speaker 2: there's people who maybe just a man wants to watch
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: his wife or girlfriend, or there's groups. There's all kinds
• 1:00:53
  Speaker 2: of things, but it's a very big part of like
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 2: la culture. I definitely know people who participated. I've been invited,
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 2: like it's a it's definitely like a big thing. And
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 2: I think especially like when you're a curby girl, people
• 1:01:05
  Speaker 2: fetishize you. So I think I've probably been asked to
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: be a part of this a lot because of like
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 2: you know, a large breasts and you know, there's just
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 2: like you know, people, it's just definitely way like they
• 1:01:16
  Speaker 2: feel questions to you to see like what you're into.
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: But I am definitely a person that will do things
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 2: for the plot, like I just want to see, like
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: what y'all doing it here, Like what y'all doing here,
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: you know, but without participating, but like let me see
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: what y'all doing, Like, oh, I know you voyeuris I
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: am like I you know, I am a very like
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 2: I'm a very open person sexually. I don't judge. I
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: don't judge men. This is something like when I date men.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: A lot of men are afraid to talk about what
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: they enjoy because they're afraid they're going to be judged
• 1:01:44
  Speaker 2: by it. And I would say, like with my partners,
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: I've had really amazing sex with my partners because I
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: don't judge what they enjoy. If you don't like it
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: with me, you know, it's what you like with me.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 2: It's I'm not gonna judge you. I'm not a kink shamer,
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 2: you know. So I feel like I really connect with
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 2: my partners because I'm willing to listen.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: I'm willing to have conversations.
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 2: I don't judge you know, the things that they enjoy
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 2: or what they like to play with or you know,
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 2: none of that bothers me, like I don't.
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: I don't. It doesn't bother me. And there are a
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: lot of people who have, you.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 2: Know, these front positioning like ideas that they reflect and
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 2: you'll but watching a movie with your man and say something,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 2: he'll remember it and he'll never bring it up to
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: you because you'll I have a girlfriend who thinks like,
• 1:02:29
  Speaker 2: you know, she's like, oh, if a man likes ass play,
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: he's gay, and she'll say it, and I'm like, well,
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: if your man likes that, he's never gonna talk to
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 2: you about that because why would he feel like this
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: is a safe space. And so I'm very big on
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 2: making people feel safe about what they like and enjoy
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 2: because I think like sex is such a beautiful thing
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: to enjoy, and I think a lot of people put
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: labels on it, and I think like it can be
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: something that's so fun and enjoyable and intimate with somebody
• 1:02:54
  Speaker 2: that you trust, and if you trust this person, there's.
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 1: So many levels that you can take it.
• 1:02:59
  Speaker 2: But if there's judgment and all these things enjoy, there's
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: just like you you really limit yourself to kind of
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: like what kind of pleasure you can experience and what
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: kind of pleasure you can give them.
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 1: And I'm just not about that.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: I'm like, let's like this life is meant to be lived,
• 1:03:13
  Speaker 2: you know, in a healthy, safe way. But I'm definitely
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 2: like someone who I feel like my girlfriends talk to
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 2: about things where we can talk about, you know, things
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 2: that they're afraid of. It's just something that I've always
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 2: just thought was an interesting route, you know, And I've
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 2: always loved to talk about like sex and relationships personally.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: I don't talk about it on camera, but I'm just
• 1:03:32
  Speaker 2: fascinated by it. And I think, like, I'm so proud
• 1:03:35
  Speaker 2: of men who go outside of the box and are
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 2: able to express that, because especially with black men, like
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 2: they have all these stipulations on these things, and I
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: think like that every condition everything is good.
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like this is these are conditions.
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: But also when we in this bedroom, ain't nobody, ain't nobody,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 2: you gotta know what we're talking about and what we're doing,
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 2: So like, just say what you feel. Like the whole
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: nonchalantness about intimacy is not a turn off for me
• 1:03:58
  Speaker 2: at all, And so you know, I want to be
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: able to have the best experience for me and for you,
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: and the only way we can do that is by
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: having a conversation. And if you're guarded and you don't
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: want to tell me shit that I don't want to
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: do this because I'm not trying to have this vanilla
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 2: assets like please, if you can only do Doggie styllin mission,
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 2: I get the fuck out of here, like.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 1: Please, boring, like give me a break, because this is like,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: let's have fun.
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: I'm my god, but I think for for me, and
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: that's amazing that you're like that.
• 1:04:25
  Speaker 2: I I just said this, and this is gonna be
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: all on the internet, but that's.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: Gonna be pulling up, pulling up when they whip some chains,
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 3: throwing up with the people I'm.
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: In relationships with.
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not just talking about you know, somebody from tender
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: but maybe don't kidding.
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 1: No, I'm good.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 3: I think for like, it took me a long time
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: to get over just the like purity, shame, culture that
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 3: religion shapes you and yeah so and even as like
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 3: as a woman, now I think this is the most
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 3: I'm not. I don't think this is the most confident
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 3: I've been, like in my body. I love that in
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 3: my sexuality and like how I like feel about sex
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 3: and talking about sex and like being unapologetic about it.
• 1:05:12
  Speaker 3: But I still even find at times with partners where
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't really like this.
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah I don't really want to say anything. You're going
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 1: to give him a complex. And it's like I still
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 1: sometimes like I always get complex, and I think.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 2: With women, we're always conditioned to, you know, I don't
• 1:05:28
  Speaker 2: not pleasing, but I think sometimes we can be the
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 2: ones who are doing things for a partner that like
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 2: we don't necessarily enjoy. And I think, like that is
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 2: for me, like I've made the decision, like when this
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: is for both of us. And I think when I
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: was younger, when I would, you know, be intimate with
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: a man, I was just really only worried about him.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: And there's a difference.
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: Between only like doing this thing where you're just doing
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 2: it for a man, and doing something where you're pleasing
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 2: your partner.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: Those are different.
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 2: And I think, like you knows, as I've become a woman,
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 2: I'm not doing it if I'm not getting anything out
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 2: of it like this later for that, like I have
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: more fun by myself, you know what I'm saying. Like
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 2: there are so many of my friends that I that
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: I know that are not they'll have sex with the man,
• 1:06:11
  Speaker 2: and they are so unsatisfied on a daily basis, but
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: they're also not communicating with their partner about like their needs.
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 2: And I'm very much of the thing like we have
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 2: to have these converts, Like I am a person who
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: has to have conversations like we got to I'm not
• 1:06:26
  Speaker 2: going to sit here and be miserable for your comfort.
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah. See, I think that's the next step in my
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: sexual evolution. It's not that I will love that for you,
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 3: but like I haven't reached that full I haven't reached
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: I haven't reached this level of what you're talking about,
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: because what I will do is just be like, Okay,
• 1:06:42
  Speaker 3: we're not alway sex anymore like this.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 2: But it's you know what's so funny is like once
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: you break that wall down, it becomes fun to talk
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 2: about because and it's like you really learn with someone's
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: like that, and it's the closest I feel like sometimes
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 2: when you do that, it makes you so much closer
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 2: because they're telling you things they haven't even really thought
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 2: about to say out loud. Sometimes I've had guys say
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 2: things for the first time out loud when we have
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 2: these conversations. But also it's because they feel really safe
• 1:07:08
  Speaker 2: because I'm talking just like I'm talking to you, and
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 2: it's like we could be talking about the grocery store
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: as with that same kind of like normality, because to me,
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 2: I viewed sex so differently than I did, you know,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: when I was younger, and it's just a thing to
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 2: be enjoyed between two people who love and respect each other.
• 1:07:23
  Speaker 2: But because I am so sexually fluid, I'm only going
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: to do with somebody I feel safe with and then
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 2: I know respectful well, so that that part, for sure,
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 2: Like that is an evolution that I think a lot
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 2: of young women go through as they become people who don't.
• 1:07:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I don't think there's anything like shameful in that.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 3: You know, you're you're going through your sexual journey, like
• 1:07:45
  Speaker 3: you're going to choose people that you shouldn't have chosen.
• 1:07:48
  Speaker 1: You're going to do it just because you were horny.
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: You're young, you make decisions.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 2: You're going to do it because you liked him, and which,
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 2: by the way, because your horny is fine. But you
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 2: just got to make sure that you're cool with that
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 2: and with that being the thing exactly, And then that's
• 1:08:00
  Speaker 2: like that is a big step.
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: Also, it's just like knowing that this is a choice
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 1: that you've made. Just started a sex podcast with us
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: because I'm a sex section. I don't know.
• 1:08:12
  Speaker 3: I have no idea how we got the journey invest there,
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 3: but I love this.
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: We was just talking about the newsroom, but we.
• 1:08:18
  Speaker 3: Were we were we were here with business yeah, like
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: being confident in your choice as to why you've had sex.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 3: Like I've had conversations with girlfriends before who have clearly
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: chosen to sleep with someone, and then that person doesn't
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: want to date them anymore, and they're like, well, like
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 3: why did they sleep with me? Like, girl, they didn't
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: course you into sleeping like you. You actually told us
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 3: like I'm going to fuck him tonight, Like you actually
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 3: you like thought that actively made this choice. It wasn't
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 3: like he was pressuring you or like manipulating you. Like
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 3: people have the choice to not like you after they
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 3: have sex.
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 2: Well, I think women, and I was I've made this.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 2: I won't say all women, but I would say especially
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: like when I was younger, I thought sex would change things. Yeah,
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 2: So I would go into it being like, well, I
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 2: know he doesn't want to commit, but once, you know,
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: once I pop up, once I jump.
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: On it, he gonna want me.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: And I would give myself this expectation of like not
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: realizing men and women just look at sex so differently.
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: And I made the mistake of coming looking at sex
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: through a lens of a woman for what my expectations
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: of a man would be after.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 1: Sex, and they just look at it.
• 1:09:23
  Speaker 2: They're almost the opposite of us, right, And so for me,
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I got to start making decisions
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 2: and just be okay with like everything's gonna either it's
• 1:09:30
  Speaker 2: gonna stay the same like everything said, or it could
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 2: it could end. I don't know, like, am I okay
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: with this ending if we have sex? Am I okay
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 2: with that thing changing? Because I would sleep with men
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 2: when I was younger and be like, okay, well, now
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: he gonna make me his girlfriend, right since my did
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 2: girlfriend thinks I did wifly things in this motherfucker like
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 2: you better, you better? I complained about this this large
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 2: popcorn at the movies after what I.
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 1: Just did last night.
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 2: You know, I would imagine the world would be different
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 2: after we slept with at each other.
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: And it never really changed and never know, it never sex.
• 1:10:01
  Speaker 2: I don't think it's ever gotten somebody something like I
• 1:10:04
  Speaker 2: think it's.
• 1:10:05
  Speaker 3: Like you know, but like I think sometimes women convince
• 1:10:08
  Speaker 3: themselves that sex is like a thing that is going
• 1:10:12
  Speaker 3: to change a man's mind, rather than saying one, I
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 3: want to have sex with this person because I like
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 3: this person, and it's I want to have sex with them.
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 3: It's in some ways uses a manipulation tool.
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 2: But who doesn't want to think like their couci is gold.
• 1:10:28
  Speaker 2: You know, we all want to believe that, like sleeping
• 1:10:30
  Speaker 2: with a man, it's a fantasy, it's like a rom com,
• 1:10:33
  Speaker 2: well this person. We all want to believe the glitter
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 2: and the rainbows come out it is.
• 1:10:41
  Speaker 3: But it's really about the emotional attachment, right right, that
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: is what has what creates that that glitter. Yes, and
• 1:10:52
  Speaker 3: like I'm sure you've slept with someone early and it's
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 3: lasted a long time, absolutely, and that there's no yeah,
• 1:11:00
  Speaker 3: but the idea is what you as the woman, what
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 3: you are, what you're okay with. I just don't think
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 3: sex ever works on either side with manipulated manipulative. I
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 3: don't think manipulation works in anybody's favor ultimately in any place,
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 3: but especially if you're using it in the bedroom, you know,
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 3: especially if you haven't if there's like if you're manipulating
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 3: because you know you're trying to get something, I think
• 1:11:27
  Speaker 3: it's just a slippery slope. But I think like if
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 3: you're in the bedroom and you have these expectations that
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 3: things will change, you are fooling yourself. And you know,
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 3: I do think that maybe people have seen it work
• 1:11:38
  Speaker 3: for someone else, they're like, but.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: She did this and she got that.
• 1:11:41
  Speaker 2: But I think ultimately, like there's always a price to
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: be paid. So I think it's just like so tricky
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: that you have to just be okay with like making
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 2: this decision, this just being your decision, you doing this
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 2: for pleasure and for no other reason, because it just
• 1:11:52
  Speaker 2: gets so tricky, and I think my whole twenties I
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 2: spent like, well, what if I do it, It's like,
• 1:11:56
  Speaker 2: you know, he's gonna want to be with me, and
• 1:11:58
  Speaker 2: it would never be really to get anything. I just alway,
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 2: it would be like, Okay, he's going to be my man,
• 1:12:02
  Speaker 2: and you know I would be in the you know,
• 1:12:04
  Speaker 2: in the club crying with my girlfriends because it didn't
• 1:12:06
  Speaker 2: it didn't change anything. And now you know, I have
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 2: never felt more free than I feel right now, more
• 1:12:16
  Speaker 2: like in my how you were saying, like just really
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 2: in my like sexual strength, just more confident and also
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 2: just like it's so easy for me to read circumstances
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 2: and situations and make decisions based on like the truth
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 2: than like what I want it to be.
• 1:12:34
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and it's it really isn't maturing as well also,
• 1:12:38
  Speaker 3: you know you're saying that it made me think of
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: he's he's not really that into you?
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 1: Is that he's just not that into you? I mean
• 1:12:46
  Speaker 1: a movie, it should be.
• 1:12:47
  Speaker 3: Studied, it should be played to every every seventh grade
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: girl and every place on the planet, because as insane
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 3: as that movie is, it is so true. Like basing
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 3: you decisions based off off of the exception, Well, you're
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 3: manipulating yourself. Yes, you may be the exception, and you
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 3: are the exception for someone, but you're not going to
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: be the exception for everyone, and expecting every single man
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: that you come across to change his life or to
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 3: or to act the way that he's acting with someone else,
• 1:13:23
  Speaker 3: or do something that your girlfriend's cousin's friends. Like, that's
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 3: that's insane. You're you're lying to yourself and it's not healthy.
• 1:13:30
  Speaker 2: No, it's and it's such a it's just again, it's
• 1:13:33
  Speaker 2: like when you watch these rom coms and you see
• 1:13:36
  Speaker 2: you watch a movie and you see this like couple
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 2: change and they have this intimate moment and then they
• 1:13:41
  Speaker 2: running into the sunset together and you're like, I'm gonna
• 1:13:44
  Speaker 2: do that with Jamal girl, Like it's Samala even like
• 1:13:48
  Speaker 2: running right, Jamal, don't like the beach, that's the thing
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 2: doing none of that one. He's a city boy, you
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 2: know what I mean? He outside, Why were you applying
• 1:13:56
  Speaker 2: this to him?
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: Where's the room?
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 2: But you know, and it's a lot of the blindley
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 2: the blind right, Like you know, I'm asking my girlfriends
• 1:14:03
  Speaker 2: and they telling me what none of us know what
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 2: the hell going on?
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 3: You know? And we can't ask our mothers because they
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 3: were dating different time.
• 1:14:11
  Speaker 2: My parents have been together for fifty years. But my
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 2: mom was such a realist, and I used to think
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: she was a man hater because she would be like
• 1:14:18
  Speaker 2: telling me and my sister the real She would be like,
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: I need you to understand they don't care about you,
• 1:14:22
  Speaker 2: like they'd be lying, da da da, And I would
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: be like, you, stu, what our daddy did? What he
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: would do like, you know, and me and my sister
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: when we were in like high school'd be like, you're
• 1:14:31
  Speaker 2: a man hater. And now as an adult she was
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: she was no filter on obviously because she was our mother,
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 2: but she was trying to really put us on to
• 1:14:41
  Speaker 2: like the game and the differences, and she would always
• 1:14:44
  Speaker 2: tell us they don't think like us. They do not
• 1:14:46
  Speaker 2: think like us. And most of times she would be like,
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 2: nia they stupid. Like she would be like, do you
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 2: understand they don't think? Like are they dumb? And away
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: she was like they don't think with this, you know.
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: She'd be like that little boy ain't thinking about you know.
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: She would tell me about girl, that girl ain't your friend,
• 1:14:58
  Speaker 2: and I would always just be like, mom, you everybody,
• 1:15:01
  Speaker 2: And now it's an adult, I'm like, oh man, Like
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 2: she was. I wish I was not the type of
• 1:15:05
  Speaker 2: person had to learn lessons the hard way, because I
• 1:15:08
  Speaker 2: would have saved myself so much.
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: We all are there, but it's just the way world works.
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 3: I had a I was talking to this very brilliant
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 3: thirteen year old girl about a month ago, and she
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 3: was like, what is some advice or what do you
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 3: wish that you knew.
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: As a young person that you know now?
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 3: And I was like, okay, Edith, like thirteen years old,
• 1:15:34
  Speaker 3: Like that's a very adult question. Yeah. I was so
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 3: impressed with her, but I was like, I wish I
• 1:15:39
  Speaker 3: listened to adults. I wish I'm not all adults, but
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 3: I wish I listened to people who were giving me
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 3: advice they were older than me because they know what
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 3: the fuck they're talking about and not with everything. But
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: when I started becoming an advice taker, which you usually
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 3: start when you're older, which I did, your life changes
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 3: because people just know more shit you when you get older,
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 3: somebody knows.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: I don't even I don't even think about it. Who
• 1:16:04
  Speaker 1: do I know? The nose? Mama say, gotcha, I need
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: to know how to do this. Thank you. You've been
• 1:16:11
  Speaker 1: through this.
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 2: Walk me through when you're in your twenties and even
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 2: your thirties, like I think you know.
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 2: When I was in my twenties, I remember like my
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 2: parents telling me, you do not know everything, and I
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 2: remember thinking, yes I do. Oh insufferable. And when you
• 1:16:26
  Speaker 2: get older, the less you admit to knowing. But now
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 2: I'm in my forties and I'm like, I don't know shit,
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: Like I'll just be trying to get by a.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 1: Girl, Like there's things a girl I know and I
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 1: know what.
• 1:16:36
  Speaker 3: I know nothing right and let a man offered it.
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I don't know how to do nothing. I
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 3: don't know how to turn on this light.
• 1:16:41
  Speaker 2: I'm happy to say, Like I think I was really
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 2: scared when I was younger to admit I didn't know things.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: I didn't want to look in experienced. I didn't want
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 2: to look ignorant. I didn't want to look like well read. Now,
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 2: if you mentioned author I don't know, I'm like, I'm
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 2: not familiar with them.
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 1: I don't care.
• 1:16:54
  Speaker 2: You know, if it's someone everybody knows, I'm like, Oh,
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 2: tell me about it. Like I'm such a I'm so
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 2: okay with the vulnerability of not knowing something because I
• 1:17:02
  Speaker 2: know it doesn't mean I'm ignorant.
• 1:17:04
  Speaker 1: It just means yeah.
• 1:17:06
  Speaker 2: And I'm so happy to listen to people and people
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: teach me things that I didn't know about, or you know,
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 2: you know something about horticulture and I don't know anything.
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 1: About it, Like, yeah, teach me about these flowers.
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 2: You know, so you know a new sex position you
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 2: recommend exactly now that you ain't gonna teach me nothing about.
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: Now that part. No, I'm just kidding, but no, that's
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: what it is a sign of intelligence.
• 1:17:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm so happy to like soak that up.
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 2: And I think it leads to more honest conversations. When
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 2: you front in the whole time, when you pretending you
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 2: know shit all the time, it really puts a barrier
• 1:17:35
  Speaker 2: because the people who know know you plan and they
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 2: don't want to talk to you anymore, and you then
• 1:17:40
  Speaker 2: you miss out on so many opportunities and connections because
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 2: you are here pretending to be something and we all
• 1:17:45
  Speaker 2: see through you anyway.
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 1: So it's like the vulnerability really is a superpower.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 2: And I've learned that as I've gotten older, that my
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: vulnerability about whatever I'm going through is such a superpower
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: for me, and it opens up so many relationships and opportunities.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 2: And I'm so happy to be vulnerable with people and
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: not I don't care if I'm judged for it.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 3: I can talk to you for like the next two hours.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 3: This was great and the sex stock was amazing. Yes,
• 1:18:08
  Speaker 3: I was going there, but I did not either.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 1: I did not either. It was not on my notes,
• 1:18:12
  Speaker 1: but we managed to get there.
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 2: Don't come in my DMS and let I mean unless
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 2: you mean unless unless you're trying to do it, And
• 1:18:17
  Speaker 2: don't care.
• 1:18:18
  Speaker 1: I'm kidding is already.
• 1:18:23
  Speaker 3: I'm not about to take responsibility for this. Before we
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 3: let you go, We're gonna do a rapid fire. You
• 1:18:28
  Speaker 3: have your questions to Okay, if I can get on
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 3: these nails, what is something unique you do before and
• 1:18:34
  Speaker 3: on camera appearance.
• 1:18:38
  Speaker 2: I don't get nervous, so I have I do. I
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 2: get nervous watching it back.
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 1: Oh, I can't watch.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: I get like it's that's when I like, I.
• 1:18:47
  Speaker 3: Don't even like watching the reels right to make sure
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 3: that there the ones I want.
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I hate really hard to watch myself back. But
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: I could go into a stadium with like a million
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 2: people not not nervous.
• 1:18:58
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't. It's like want into.
• 1:19:00
  Speaker 2: A McDonald's like I have. I do not get nervous.
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 3: I only get nervous if I am not prepared. If
• 1:19:06
  Speaker 3: I'm getting thrown into something that I'm not prepared for,
• 1:19:08
  Speaker 3: then I'll get nervous.
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 1: And that I had. Yeah, I'm never gonna not be prepared.
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: So that's like, that's so I'm never It's just never
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 2: a thing like I'm always going to make sure I'm
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 2: well researched.
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 1: You like, I don't care.
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 3: And if sometimes I've been in live situations where they're like, Okay,
• 1:19:21
  Speaker 3: you're doing a show for the next two hours about
• 1:19:24
  Speaker 3: this topic and we have not prepared anything, and I'm.
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: Like, yeah, but you're prepared because you're a professional. Evely,
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 2: you know what I mean like you you know you're
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 2: not You're not fronting like you know.
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 1: You do it. I'll tell you off air what it was.
• 1:19:34
  Speaker 1: You'll know what I'm talking about. You're turin.
• 1:19:37
  Speaker 2: Oh which reality TV show would you dominate?
• 1:19:42
  Speaker 3: I mean I would be incredible at like any of
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 3: these crazy dating shows like okay, well not crazy actually,
• 1:19:51
  Speaker 3: because bachelortte isn't crazy.
• 1:19:53
  Speaker 1: What you do, like Love is Blind?
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 3: I don't think, oh, that is a show I'm trying
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 3: to think of, Like there's a show that I know
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 3: I Love is Blind. You would get all the proposals,
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 3: I get all the proposals, and I mean an excellent banter.
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 3: You do you do like and you know, unless they
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 3: don't like my voice, like please.
• 1:20:11
  Speaker 2: I'm crashing, But you also have like a voice that
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 2: you know this person is attractive.
• 1:20:16
  Speaker 1: There's people to like a lot of people do not
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 1: like my voice.
• 1:20:21
  Speaker 2: My voice sounds like I'm challenging someone to a duel,
• 1:20:23
  Speaker 2: but like your voice whatever, But it's fine. But no,
• 1:20:28
  Speaker 2: you have an attractive voice, so you would definitely dominate that.
• 1:20:32
  Speaker 2: You would never do reality.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 3: I would only do non drama reality like a house
• 1:20:38
  Speaker 3: show or something. Yeah, like I can't be in any
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 3: situation where I might it might come to violence because
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 3: you do would participate in that anyway though, No, I
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 3: mean I've had conversations like people have tried to talk
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 3: me into it. I mean would love to see you
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 3: on like a bachelorette type of not the Bachelorette, but
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 3: like a show where guys were looking for love with you.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 1: I would love that. I would eat that up. I
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: would torture them. That's why would be fun. I would
• 1:21:01
  Speaker 1: be so get them go, and then I'm gonna be
• 1:21:04
  Speaker 1: one of your friends that judges the guys and be
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: like we're gonna have like we'd have our low.
• 1:21:13
  Speaker 3: J go to karaoke song yellow what? Yes, I was
• 1:21:20
  Speaker 3: not say that mine is meat loaf. Do anything okay? Yeah?
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: Is great?
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 2: There Hello Hennessy. You know you know somebody on the
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 2: karaoke clubs here?
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah? So fun? Yes, karaoke.
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, if you ain't got none to do
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: in l A, go to k town, get your little
• 1:21:39
  Speaker 2: karaoke room.
• 1:21:40
  Speaker 1: So fun. A karaoke room is the best. Okay. An
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 1: animal that resembles your personality? Uh? Are werewolves an animal?
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 1: That's it's a it's a sci fi animal.
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 2: Animal definitely a were wolf. For natural, I'm a were wolf.
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 2: I love that mine would be vampire. Yeah, yeah, no,
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: I'm definitely a were wolf.
• 1:21:58
  Speaker 3: I appear normal and then the full moon comes out
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 3: and then something takes overbody. I love the ability to
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: make decisions. A fashion or makeup trend you wish would
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 3: come back. M I mean, I'm I'm of the belief
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 3: of like, do what you want.
• 1:22:13
  Speaker 2: So I'm not like if it's if it's not here,
• 1:22:15
  Speaker 2: bring it back, because all the kids are dressing like
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 2: Y two k right now.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 3: We needed to leave some of that there, But I
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 3: don't know the layer of tank tops needed to say gosh,
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 3: or the belts over the tank tops with the with
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 3: the little kaki short No, it's not the the what
• 1:22:32
  Speaker 3: were those pants?
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: The capri please, I am not a Capri fan. I'm
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 1: gonna be honest. Yeah, but one that I wish I
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: would come back.
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 2: I mean there, I feel like everything is I do
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 2: feel like we're right now. Everything is here, Like belt
• 1:22:47
  Speaker 2: bottoms are here. You can get away with bell bottoms, afros,
• 1:22:50
  Speaker 2: like all the things.
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 1: From the seventies, like very eclectic.
• 1:22:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's an eclectic Do you know what I wish
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 3: would come back more. I wish more men would like
• 1:22:58
  Speaker 3: put that ship on. Yeah, when I see a man
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 3: that is.
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: Like real, so sexy, I don't think men actually put
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 2: on a clean look.
• 1:23:07
  Speaker 1: It doesn't have to be like complicated.
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 2: Like it doesn't you can tell they care, yes, or
• 1:23:11
  Speaker 2: if it's like if a man has something that's just
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 2: that's tailored, Oh, like it's so sexy.
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 1: I'm yes, just a little, just a little. To me,
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 1: that's like a man.
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: Who has a skincare routine when I can tell, like,
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 2: you take care of your skin. Oh, ain't nothing better
• 1:23:26
  Speaker 2: than a man skinned glistening in the sunlight. You talk
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 2: about a werewolf, I'll turn into a werewolf for some.
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 3: Good skins vampires. What's your most rewatched movie? Most rewatched movie?
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 3: That is stuff? Probably, I mean Braveheart is my favorite movie.
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 3: Really probably seen that, but I don't know if it's
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 3: the most watched though. Maybe Goodfellas same Yeah, maybe good Fellas.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 1: Goodfellas is on. I'm watching Goodfellas, good Fellas in Dark Night,
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 1: Dark Night, for sure.
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: And then like any probably any Will Ferrell comedy like
• 1:24:06
  Speaker 3: step Brothers, Old School, Yeah, any wedding crashers, wedding crashes.
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 1: I can probably quote the entire movie.
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 2: I'm not a big Will FeRh movie person, but yeah
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 2: Fellas for sure, good Fellas.
• 1:24:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, Well this was so fun. Thank you so
• 1:24:22
  Speaker 1: much for coming down.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 3: Make sure that you follow mena place and it worth
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 3: at the Nina Parker just.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 1: Don't at me after this because I don't know what,
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 1: I don't know where. I will not be help responsible
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 1: for anything that anybody says here.
• 1:24:35
  Speaker 3: Just finished her first New York fashion runway show and
• 1:24:39
  Speaker 3: her collection, the Nina Parker Nina Parker Collection is available
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 3: at Macy's. And make sure you check out Friday Night
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 3: Vibes on TBS every Friday at eight pm.
• 1:24:49
  Speaker 1: Yes, thank you for having me, Thanks for coming down.
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 3: Yes all right, that was a great conversation with Nina.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 3: Make sure you go and follow her and check out
• 1:24:55
  Speaker 3: her show Friday Night Vibes on TBS.
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 1: So it's not for never.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 3: Two Personal.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: We have a great question this week.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 3: If you want to be a part of the show,
• 1:25:02
  Speaker 3: email to Personal Podcasts at email dot com or you
• 1:25:04
  Speaker 3: can follow us at two Personal show. And the question
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 3: is how do you overcome imposter syndrome? So imposter syndrome
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 3: is something that I think affects a lot of aspirational
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 3: people because you will find yourself in rooms with people
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 3: that you feel you don't belong in the room with
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 3: that You've climbed to these heights and now you have
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 3: all these accomplished or perceivably successful people and you're the
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 3: odd man or odd woman out. The thing about imposter syndrome, though,
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 3: is it's not real. For whatever reason you're in that room,
• 1:25:40
  Speaker 3: you are meant to be in that room.
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 1: You are meant to be at that table.
• 1:25:45
  Speaker 3: You are meant to have these options and these choices
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 3: and this experience. You don't have to be some overly accomplished,
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 3: overly educated, overly privileged persons who have opportunities.
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 1: But the biggest way.
• 1:25:57
  Speaker 3: That I have overcome imposter syndrome is taking a look
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 3: around the room. The more access that you have, the
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 3: more you realize a lot of these people are not
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 3: qualified to have these jobs. They do not know what
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 3: the fuck they're doing, and they are barely hanging on.
• 1:26:15
  Speaker 3: So when you start to compare yourself to other people
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 3: in the room, pay attention to who they are, what
• 1:26:20
  Speaker 3: they've actually accomplished, and what they're actually.
• 1:26:22
  Speaker 1: Capable of doing.
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 3: You may find that you're actually the overly accomplished person,
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 3: the overqualified person, the person that's put in the most
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 3: work to be in that room and should be in
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 3: that room over other people. It is very obvious the
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 3: higher that you climb that there will be people in
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 3: roles that do not deserve those roles. They are not
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 3: talented enough, of their experienced enough for those roles. They
• 1:26:45
  Speaker 3: have no business making these decisions, and they've either been
• 1:26:48
  Speaker 3: put there by someone else, through relationships or through some happenstance,
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 3: and now they're making decisions on your behalf and many others,
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 3: and they're completely unqualified. And if you know what I'm
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 3: talking about, you know what I'm talking about.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 1: It's in every single business, in every.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 3: Single aspect of society, there are unqualified people.
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: This is the whole thing with DEI.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 3: We have a crackhead as the secretary of health. Okay,
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 3: you are not unqualified to do whatever it is you're doing,
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 3: so stop convincing yourself you don't belong.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 1: You absolutely do. So I hope that helps.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 3: If you want to be a part of the show
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 3: two Personal Podcasts at gmail dot com or follow us
• 1:27:28
  Speaker 3: on social media at two Personal Show. Thanks so much
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 3: for joining us today, make sure you hit subscribe thanks
• 1:27:32
  Speaker 3: to Anina Parker, and we'll catch you next week.