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You're in Charge, Now What? · Unspoken Career Truths

0:00
Welcome to Unspoken Career Truths.
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I'm Lauren Levette Gilbert. And I'm Cara Wood.
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And we're here to be the Co workers you can trust.
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Hello everyone, welcome. We are at the start of April,
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our leadership month. This month, we're gonna talk
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about leadership skills and thought a great way to kick this
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off was actually just talking about the ways that new leaders
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can either thrive and some really common but uncomfortable
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things that happen when you're in charge for the very first
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time. Yeah, no, I think this is a
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really great topic because when you are new to being a manager,
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there's a lot of things that shift that you don't really
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realize. So it's great to kind of say
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them out loud and it's helpful to have other people who've gone
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through it. Yeah, and I kind of want to,
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we're talking about, you know, leadership when you're in charge
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of a team or when you're in charge of a project or an
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initiative. And so often when you are put in
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this kind of leadership role, you're just in the middle.
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So you have people who are, you have to direct, but you've also
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got someone who's still appointed to you and wants
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updates and has expectations of whatever project, initiative or
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team that you're in charge of. Lauren, what happened the first
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time that you got to take charge of something?
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Oh, I remember the first time I started managing.
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I started managing one person and then very quickly after that
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I had a team of three and it was interesting because I was their
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peer at one point and then I became their manager.
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So I think the hardest part for me, like in the beginning was
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shifting from like, hey, we're just friends.
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And like, hey, we're like talking about everything that's
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happening at work. And we're just like colleagues
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and peers to like, oh, wow, like I am your boss now.
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Like I have to kind of change a bit of like how I talk to you,
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right? Because now I am in charge of
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your performance evaluation and I need to kind of check in on
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your work. What kinds of things did you
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have to shift or like, what do you wish you knew?
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Like what could you? What do you want to tell Lauren
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back in the day? That's I love that question.
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Well, you know, one like don't overthink it.
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I think I overthought it a bunch.
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So I was like, oh, should I like go out to happy hour with them
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because I'm now the boss and like they're not my peers
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anymore and I'm in charge. They're like, do we like, you
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know, there's always like water cooler talk like is there?
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Do I still do that with them? Do I not do with that with them?
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And I would say like, don't overthink it, but also like be
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conscious of it so you don't have to fundamentally change
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your behavior around them. But just know, like if you go to
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a happy hour, like maybe have one drink and then leave, you
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know, like don't kind of hang around and allow them space to
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also have that water cooler talk because you're not in the same
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place as they are. So I think that allowing the
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space was really important. I felt like I was like, I
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wouldn't be included in that, but you're the boss.
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That is so interesting. I'm thinking about the first
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time that I was put in charge, I was actually similarly, you
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know, assigned to a project and then ended up taking over the
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project. And I was taking it from someone
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who was extremely experienced but just had too much on their
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plate. And so this was the project that
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they shifted off to me. But then in addition, I was
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overseeing a growing number of teammates who were actually all
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in the same office as me because the place was like a start up.
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And so we were right on top of each other.
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And initially it was like we were top on top of each other
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all cracking jokes. And like, you know, there's a
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lot of Mitch Hedberg quoting, for example, at the time.
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And then all of a sudden it was like I was the one who was like,
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but no, we need to get that done.
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But I don't think I was necessarily feeling like the
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pressure to not socialize. It was more for me, the bigger
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shock was knowing that I was now in charge of both the schedule
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and also the communications out to the client.
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So managing all the stakeholders across the clients that I owed
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things to the I, I now suddenly had the responsibility of
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speaking up at our like staff meeting, which was 35 people in
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a room. And now all eyes are on me for
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these project updates and wanting to make sure that I had
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collected the information I needed ahead of time for my team
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so that I was able to reflect everything that they had put
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thought and work into. But then also be accurate and
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not over promise because because I was given a project that was
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already past deadline. So it was one of those like,
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let's yeah, let's just try to get this thing out the door.
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But I also think you bring up a really important point.
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That's another thing that I wish younger Lauren would know.
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And that's the invisible work of management.
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Like when you get promoted to become a manager, everyone's
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like, yeah, you have a team. And like, people don't talk
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about like all the work that goes into having a team, like
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you are now responsible for the people on your team, right?
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And you have to think about career development and making
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sure that they feel safe and in their environment and they feel
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comfortable and they're working in their best.
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And you're creating that environment.
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And like just being, I think good leadership requires a lot
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of intention. And that intention as a manager
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is on top of the work that you need to deliver.
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Yeah, in preparation for this episode, I I was making a list
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of all the responsibilities of leadership and I actually hadn't
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written down like owning career development.
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I think it's an interesting question.
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I think you own providing roles for people and defining what
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success looks like. There's an open debate that we
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could have about how much does the person own their own career
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development and how much do you own at least giving them the
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opportunities they ask for? Like what should that give and
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take look like? Tara, do I hear a podcast topic
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for a future episode? I think this is a debate or
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like, I'd love to see what other people kind of think or
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experience. Because back to invisible work,
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I think one of the things when you're in a leadership role, you
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have a bunch of expectations coming again from both sides of
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you and the team that's reporting to you.
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You're really setting the tone for how their work day is, what
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their workload might look like. Because there's a lot of
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pressure on you to make sure that you're doing that right and
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a lot of judgement maybe that's coming suddenly from them that
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you sort of have to manage. That water cooler talk that you
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aren't a part of anymore? Yeah.
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And then also now there's a whole new subset of people to
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have water cooler talk with, which is your fellow managers to
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really understand that now you have a new seat at a different
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table and you can, you can actually take that seat and ask
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all the questions and really own this new role that you have.
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I love that. Yeah.
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So I guess let's keep talking about those other
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responsibilities with leadership.
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And I'd be curious, Lauren, what other ones that I've missed that
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you could add. I think one of the other big
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responsibilities you have is just communicating the goal of
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either the team or the project and again, setting expectations
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for what you want from everyone on the team.
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Communicating progress, whether it's to clients or managers,
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being available for like questions and feedback and
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updates from your team. Like I was a big one.
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Yeah, huge. I don't know.
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How did you deal with that, Lauren?
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I would often block some of my time just kind of knowing that I
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would be both like physically present or when I was a managing
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remotely, I would tell folks like here's this time that I'm
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just online and interruptible. Like a great time to ask me
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questions is this chunk of time. You know, it's, it's funny you
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say that because I was at a conference this week and I
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wanted to make sure I was available for my team.
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And what I try to do is like every day when I open my
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computer because I was like running around and I wasn't on
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my computer all day. I would answer all their
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questions first. Like even if I had another
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pressing priority, like I always wanted to make sure they felt
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like I was answering their emails, I was answering their
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questions, I was getting to what they needed.
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So for me, it's like a prioritization piece.
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Like I won't let everybody interrupt me, but like I'll let
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them interrupt me and like I'll let some emails go because I'm
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like, I just can't answer that. But like I never let their
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emails go or like their slacks or insert communication platform
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here. I just always prioritize them.
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Yeah, One of the other subtle ways that I I do that like on a
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day-to-day basis is with all with all the shared calendars
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that happen now. Often times I'll make sure my
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team has more visibility or knows that they can see a like a
8:32
large portion of my meetings. There are going to be some like
8:36
with HR or whatever you don't want them knowing.
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Sometimes there are things that you have to have financial
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conversations, but as much as possible being like really open
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about it and including things like I'm running, I'm leaving
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early for a doctor's appointment or, you know, I have this errand
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to run so that they can see and they can sort of spy on you and
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they can, if they want, like, again, interrupt you knowing
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what they're interrupting. One thing I always do is when I
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have a new teammate, I have them take like one of the doesn't
9:04
have to be Myers Brig, but like something like that so that I
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know they're working style and I share mine so they know my
9:10
working style just so it's clear like how they want to be
9:14
communicated to you or like how they want to work together.
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And I think that's a really great way to keep that
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transparency and communication open.
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No one who listens to multiple episodes of this podcast is
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surprised that you brought up Myers Briggs but no brought.
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It up many times. But what we're getting at is
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that you want your people to understand you and feel like
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you're taking the time to understand that for sure, you're
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gathering all this information. And one of the reasons you're
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doing it, a big responsibility of leadership is making critical
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decisions. The best leaders are the ones
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who are making critical decisions and knowing when
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there's a decision where they're like, actually, I need more
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input on this either from your team or from other, you know,
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departments across your org. But I think the last one on my
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list, and I want to hear others that you have to add, was just
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owning budgets. And often times you're owning
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the outcomes. Like you're the one you know.
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Buck stops here, praise goes down to your team and complaints
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stop at you. Yeah, I I agree with that.
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I think the one that I would add is like a deflector.
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And then I know this is an audio episode, but I'm making a cover
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over my head. I think of like the Captain
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America Shields, like you as a leader also need to kind of
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shield your team from the chaos a bit, right?
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Because there can be swirl about things.
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There can be like a lot of back and forth and you want to be the
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one who can clearly communicate and kind of block out the noise.
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People might be asking members of your team to do stuff and
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they don't know what to do because an executive leader is
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asking. So they just do it without
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knowing and that's not the right thing for them to do and it's
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and hurting their time and it's not a priority, blah, blah.
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So I think it's really important to be kind of a deflector and
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really kind of have that shield over your team, not to take
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things away from them, but to make sure that they're focused
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on what they need to focus on. You can help prioritize and they
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don't feel like they're getting attacked from multiple angles.
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Attacked is a strong word, but you know what I mean.
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No, 100%. And I, for me, one of the
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questions I love to add to a one-on-one meeting is just what,
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so what's in your way right now? You know, because you sort of
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learn, it might be, I'm getting a lot of requests, I'm getting a
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lot of this. Or it might be a decision point
11:28
that they've been struggling with.
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Or it might be, you know, they don't have a software update or
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whatever it is. You kind of hear what's going
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on. And that is another way to be a
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shield is just to get some barrier out of their way.
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Back to your point about prioritizing what is bothering
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them by answering their questions, like prioritizing
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what's in their way. Another great way to think about
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the captain, Mayor, she'll just. Say, yeah.
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And I know when I think back to when I first became a leader,
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one of the things that I think about a lot is that the examples
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I had often were just all the other bosses I had ever had.
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And so there's always things that I was like, I'm not going
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to do this thing that I saw a boss do, or I'm not going to
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make anyone feel the way that I had a boss make me feel, or I'm
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going to make this thing easier. And it's actually why I love
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when new leaders start is because I feel like you have
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these ideas where like you've seen you, maybe there is someone
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who's totally inspired you. But more often, let's be honest,
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you've got that thing that was a pet peeve.
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So I'm curious, Lauren, if there are any like bad boss behaviors
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that you were like, I'm never going to do this thing.
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Yeah, a couple comes to mind for sure.
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I think the number one is micromanagements.
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I really dislike micromanagement because to me it signals like a
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lack of trust in like me being able to get the work done.
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So I am very, very conscious to not micromanage and to just be
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like, this is when we're going to have a check in.
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If you need me in between, please reach out to me.
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But I am not going to follow up with you until like this moment
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or this is when I need something from you.
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So I think that's one. And then I think another one
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that like really, really gets to me is emotional reactions, like
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raising your voice or like having an inappropriate reaction
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to something. We all have emotions.
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We all have pet peeves. A lot of stuff pisses us off.
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But in my opinion, there's no excuse to ever raise your voice
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at someone in the work, in the workplace.
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Yeah, For me, another one is I've seen both ends of the
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spectrum and I feel like hitting the right, the middle tone is
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really hard is sharing the right amount of information.
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So letting people be a part like when a manager has a decision to
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make and sharing that out, hey, this is a decision.
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This is this is something that we're discussing.
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So making sure that people still feel involved, like we're
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deciding this, you know, this key initiative where we're
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researching into this. We're looking into that.
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I don't like it when I hear about it so much later and it
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would have helped me inform or know sort of where the
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priorities were or at least gather Intel for my manager.
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But I've also had the opposite happen where I've had managers
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pull me in and be like, what should we do?
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And that's a little scary or a little bit unsettling, or you
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end up having a bunch of opinions and then maybe not
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influencing the person. It's an emotional reaction when
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you're in that other situation. So I sort of strive to be the
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boss. That's like, I want to include
14:40
people at the right moment and get or give people the right set
14:43
of indicators so that I'm respecting that they have input
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into the direction that things are going, but not do it in a
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way that is too overwhelming. It's a delicate balance.
14:55
It's such a delicate balance. And I also think it kind of
14:58
depends on the person too. Like some people are totally
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comfortable with a lot of information.
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Like I think I would consider myself someone who wants more
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information, but some people don't want a lot of information
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in order to rather have the blinders on.
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So it's a delicate balance. I think it's something that you
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have to do by individual and I think that it's something where
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you can notice. I often times will try to get to
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know again, what's motivating each person on my team and also
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where they're at in their own quest for leadership.
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So if it's someone who I'm like, hey, I like your insight on this
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or you've already been working on this set of projects and now
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I need this input here because there's a decision coming up.
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So yeah, you're absolutely right.
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It's a strategic thing where you want to pivot to the people who
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are ready for just a little bit more information or going to be
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really valuable in the conversation that you're about
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to have, because then they can be great advocates and all.
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You also want to then give them the credit back.
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A great measure of a leader is someone who's continuously
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evolving and learning and. Changing.
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When you're starting to become a leader, you're not necessarily
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the leader you'll be. You're just the first version of
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the leader you'll be. I would say that I definitely
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have gone on a learning as I've directed different types of
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teams and I try to keep like core principles at the center of
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everything no matter what. And for me, it's like
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transparency, empathy, like inclusion, like those things are
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like really, really important for me.
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And I try to be like clearly communicate as much as possible
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and assume the best intent. I am someone who kind of demands
16:32
high performance and I hold myself to a very, very high
16:35
standard. And I really kind of had to
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learn that everybody's at a different journey and I need to
16:41
be comfortable with that. And everybody's going to deliver
16:45
at different levels. And that's OK.
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That was like one of my biggest learnings when I first became a
16:50
manager. I was like, well, this isn't to
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the standard that I would have done or I would have expected.
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And so I've had to really kind of take a step back and think
16:58
about, OK, what does that mean for them?
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Like how do I coach them? How do I support them?
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I'd rather help someone get there on their own versus
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getting there for them. That makes sense.
17:07
Yeah. And I think people are more
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invested, right, when they're the ones who are sort of on that
17:12
journey and you're meeting them where their journey is.
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But it's so easy to, again, when you're going from an individual
17:20
contributor to now suddenly you're in charge of all the
17:22
project. In some ways it can kind of feel
17:25
like, well, now I have a bunch of clones to just do the work I
17:28
would do and I've multiplied myself by 4 or, you know,
17:30
however big my team is. And instead, it's really like
17:34
you've got a collection of people with different strengths.
17:37
And hopefully the strengths are better than yours in some areas
17:40
and you can leverage that. And then, you know, different
17:44
than others. And there's just going to still
17:45
be some things that you do, but now you don't have the time to
17:48
do and you have to delegate. Yeah.
17:51
But I love that you brought up leadership values, cuz I think
17:54
that is a great way to think about your journey.
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And for me, a lot of it is respect.
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Respect what the person's coming to the table with and then
18:02
sharing back the credit, making sure that, again, a win is a win
18:06
for the whole team. Yeah.
18:07
So to recap, you know, congratulations, you're in
18:11
charge. But now what?
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And that is a real feeling. And I think drawing on both the
18:17
good and the bad of leaders that you've had in the past and
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really leaning in and taking up the space of this new role that
18:23
you have. Lauren, you talked about kind of
18:26
shifting the relationship that you might have and respecting
18:28
people and then finding what your core values are and knowing
18:31
that you're going to be on your own leadership journey.
18:35
Yeah, we're all on a journey. You don't have to be perfect
18:37
from the get go. You just have to learn and get.
18:38
Better thanks everyone. Thanks everyone.
18:42
That's a wrap. Thanks for joining us on
18:44
Unspoken Career Truths. Don't forget to follow us on
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