Latest / The You Project / #1996 When You Need A Wee, But You're In The Car - Bobby Cappuccio

Transcript

#1996 When You Need A Wee, But You're In The Car - Bobby Cappuccio · The You Project

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: I got a team.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: It's Craig Anthony Harper, It's Bobby Cappuccio on the other
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: side of the ocean over there in good old California.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: He's waving to you. You've just been waved out. You
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: don't know it, but I'll take that wave on behalf
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: of the audience. Robert, how are you me?
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: I'm great. Do you ever share these videos or we
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: just like rock up and wave it people for no
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: reason because I'm just the weird.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: No. We share grabs here and there. But I think,
• 0:30
  Speaker 2: like with our show, people are way more interested in
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: listening than watching, and it's much more convenient.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: I get it.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: But do you think we should that's a good question, Hey, listeners,
• 0:41
  Speaker 2: let's ask you, because you're the fucking listeners. What do
• 0:44
  Speaker 2: you think that we should? Now, I remember there's a
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: bit of work involved, so don't tell me. Craig, please
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: put them all up on YouTube and then don't watch them.
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: But are you way more likely to listen than watch?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: Because I'm happy to put them up, but I don't
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: really want to put them up. If you know, seven
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: and a half people are watching, but we seem you know,
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: we have a pretty big audience. We have a lot
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: of momentum in the audio space, so but but yeah,
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: we often will put up a grab of you and
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: me talking about something or as just a part of
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: a real or a promo all that. But you know,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: it's something to think about moving forward. What are your
• 1:17
  Speaker 2: thoughts do you think we should do that?
• 1:18
  Speaker 3: Well? For me, it's I've been thinking about with my
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: own podcast because most of my listeners prefer audio as well.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: But for me, it's a matter of access. I'll listen
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: to podcasts on YouTube because it's just easy. It's just
• 1:32
  Speaker 3: part of my daily workflow to go on YouTube, and like,
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: even when I'm in the gym, I'm not watching these things.
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: My phone's in my pocket. Yeah, but it's just easy
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: for me to have another platform to access. And people
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: do want to watch, they can even though a lot
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: of people do listen. I'm great with this because I've
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: got like the perfect face for audio.
• 1:54
  Speaker 2: Well, as my mum says, I too have the perfect
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: face for audio. No, you're very handsome, don't say that. Hey,
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: I wanted to chat about I want to take a
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: left turn today And I said to you three minutes ago,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: I said, it's funny because and I know this is
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: a stupid thing to say, but it's true for me.
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: It's only like the last year I've realized, like as
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: in had a personal experience of oh, you're old. You're
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: actually old. You know, I know you can be older,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: you're not the oldest, but you're fucking old. And I
• 2:30
  Speaker 2: remember when I was a kid looking at people who
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: were in their forty thinking how the fuck do people
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: get that old? And I remember going to a fiftieth
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: when I was a child. I've said this story before,
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: but it was my uncle's fiftieth and the majority of people,
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: will give or take, were fifty and I was just
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: a kid. I was the only kid some this eight
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: year old at this room full of fifty year old
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: and I was just mesmerized by how all of these
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: people could still be alive because I'm so fucking old. Recently,
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: I've gotten a bit crooked, and I went, oh, I'm
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: not like and not just bouncing back and you're like, oh,
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: you're not You're actually old. You know, you're not in
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: bad shape for your age, and but you're sixty one.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: So let's let's be practical. You know, shit's going to
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: fall off, You're going to die. It's you know, and
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: we can hopefully manipulate well let's hope it's not soon,
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: but we can manipulate the variables around that and hopefully
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: impact and affect the way that we age and the
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: rate at which we age, and you know all that
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: kind of you know, health span versus lifespan stuff. But yeah,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: you do you ever have a sense of your age
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: or do you feel younger than your fifty one years?
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: It takes me about a good fifteen minutes to shuffle
• 3:47
  Speaker 3: around the house just to get past the planet fasciatus.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: I've had multiple multiple fractures in my classical I'm not
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: even sure how I got those. But now, when I
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: was talking to a physical therapist who completely jacked me
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: up by the way different podcast, I now realize, oh wait,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: something did happen. They didn't quite remember. Some people walking
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: bag of brokenness. I think about it every day. I mean,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: stock's falling off. I'm all laprosy. Thankfully this is my status.
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: So you know, I've been going through all this stuff
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: lately with fucking sinus infection. I thought I had all
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: these I thought I had diabetes diabetes, and I thought
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: I had prostate answer and all this stuff, which, Praise
• 4:32
  Speaker 2: the Lord, I don't have any of that. But I
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: just had this terrible sinus infection which fucked up my
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: body and my brain. And for a moment, I thought,
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: oh my god, how bad And I mean this seriously,
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: how bad would severe cognitive decline? But how bad is that?
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: How bad? And sad is dementia for people? You know?
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Because like, my brain is my tool, that's it. That's
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: the only thing in my kid bag. If my brain
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: doesn't work, so.
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: I think it's well, it's like and then last.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: Night I woke up and it so we're recording this Thursday.
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: It's twelve forty five, eleven forty five. Clearly I state
• 5:13
  Speaker 2: work and two am ish just this like neural pain
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: down the kind of glop mead and almost like that
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: it b region and just just like psiatic pain and pain.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh God. And I tried to just
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: ignore it and sleep and I couldn't, so to get
• 5:35
  Speaker 2: up in the middle of the night and take bloody
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: too volta and which not a recommendation everybody. But and
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: then before I could sleep, and I'm like, what's going
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: on with my body? And just things that I used
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: to do that, you would do that thing, and you
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: would not even think about that thing. Like the other
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: day Johnny, who I train, who you know, he had
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: a bit of a stumble in the gym and he
• 5:56
  Speaker 2: face planted the fucking gym floor. Fortunately he wasn't. He
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: missed everything on the way down right. I was so
• 6:02
  Speaker 2: scared he was going to hit his head on a
• 6:04
  Speaker 2: bench or so. He had to stumble, And I was
• 6:07
  Speaker 2: about twenty feet away carrying dumbbells to him, and I
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: saw him start to teeter, and then I dropped the dumbbells.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: That's all rubber flooring. I dropped the dumbbells and I
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: fucking sprinted to him and I just missed him right,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: and then I and he hit the floor. Oh my god,
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: I'm like, you've got one responsibility, Craig, to make sure
• 6:32
  Speaker 2: his motherfucker doesn't die in the gym, and you didn't
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: do your job. And then I felt shit. And then
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: I lifted him up in about a nanosecond with a
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: bit of help from the crab. Of course, who's ever vigilant.
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: He missed him as well. He just got in after it.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: But I just ripped him up off the floor and
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: then about now later. My back's like, yeah, you probably
• 6:53
  Speaker 2: shouldn't have done that. Probably shouldn't have done that. I mean,
• 6:56
  Speaker 2: good thing to do, you know, good intention, help your
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: mate out, get him up out of the danger zone.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: But my lower back, you know, because you don't, you
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: don't get there and go all right, now, Have I
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: bent my knees, Have I activated my TVA and my
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: feet wide? Have I got a good basis support? All right?
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: Now lift? Now you just run over there and do it.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: But and you could do that once upon a time.
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: But how my back's like, hey, get fucked, give us
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: some fucking painkillers.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: You're like the patron stint of snap fitness. Do you
• 7:28
  Speaker 3: realize that the people how many people have you saved
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: from something or helped out or I know, like on
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: a couple of occasions, you've stopped me personally from making
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: very very bad life choices in that gym.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: It's like that always had to do with women, and
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: you've got that sort of Now I say, you're.
• 7:47
  Speaker 3: Right, well, I never make those types of choices in
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: the gym, but you've you've actually helped me out there
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: outside of the gym as well. So I think everybody
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: in the gym should at least get you a giant
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: cord and sign it thank you.
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: I'm good. I reckon when you're getting, by the way, relationship,
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: that kind of relationship advice from me. You'd definitely gone
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: up the wrong the wrong path.
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: But how is your body totally blame you?
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, but didn't you also tear your peck? Well,
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: you did tear.
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: Your pall that was that was years ago, I mean,
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: but it's still detached. Yeah, I never had that six
• 8:29
  Speaker 3: I had to you know, I had a road trip
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: the next week. I had things to do.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: So is yours left peck?
• 8:35
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like that.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: Mine's mine, the right peck. I tore my ninety percent
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: off the bone and that's still I didn't get surgery
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: because I got misguided with the medical kind of anyway.
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: Also a physical therapist as you call it, and by
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: the way, most pete, most physios in Australia most somewhere
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: between good and pretty good. So but I literally had
• 8:55
  Speaker 2: someone who went, no, it's not torn, it's just it's
• 8:58
  Speaker 2: just a strain. It's a bad strain. Didn't order an
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: ultrasound or anything. I'm like, sure, feels pretty fucked. Nuh
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: all good, and then three weeks later, like three weeks
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: too late, got an ultrasound. No, that's a ninety tear.
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: So unless yeah, unless we go in and recut it,
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: that's you. So I've got this big kind of hole
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: just you know where your left peck goes right up
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: high where it should well, my right one goes up
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: about two thirds and then it's like a roadblock. That's it.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: But yeah, I'm not really sure. I probably should have.
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: I had an MRI on my left shoulder not too long.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: I should have probably asked that I'm curious what percentage
• 9:38
  Speaker 3: of tear I have, although I think at some point
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: later on I tore it again. But it was a
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Grade one. It was a muscular tear, which esthetically improved it.
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: So that's a little bit better.
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: Okay, wow, good balance.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I was like, oh, that's that's not bad. Why
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: couldn't I have just done this in the first place. Oh,
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: because I'm a moron and like, I do things in
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: the gym that I would never recommend anybody does, which
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: is weird because I go through these phases where I
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: trained so carefully and methodically, and then I don't know,
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: I go through these phases where I got three months
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: of training very intelligently, and then for a three week
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: period I become a complete and outer moron.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: You're funny because I see you as well, I know
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: you as very OCD or you have that capacity to
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: be very OCD and very perfectionistic and almost to the
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: point where you like you get anxious if you can't
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: do things certain way, which we've spoken about. But I
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: don't see you like I know your lifestyle is relatively
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: healthy and clean and sober and all that shit. I
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: definitely don't think you're a piss pot, but yeah, I
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: don't see the same level of obsession around save food
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: for you, Like I'm pretty obsessed in that. Well, I'm
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: pretty what's the word regulated and strict, you know, way
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: in my fucking breakfast, you know, because I have a
• 11:09
  Speaker 2: background with an eating disorder and eating issues and body
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: dysmorphia and all the bullshit. So I feel like I'm
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: way more anal is not the right word, but OCD
• 11:18
  Speaker 2: way more, I don't know, almost irrational about shit. It's
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: like rational but almost irrational than you, like you just
• 11:27
  Speaker 2: seem to cruise along with that. Do you not have
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: body issues or food issues? Or are you pretty casual.
• 11:34
  Speaker 3: With that, Well, I definitely have body issues.
• 11:39
  Speaker 1: Yeah right.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: I think a lot of the issues we have sometimes
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: might be like a matter of what triggered it, what
• 11:45
  Speaker 3: were our experiences. I mean, when you look back into
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: your history and the things that hurt you and the
• 11:51
  Speaker 3: things you struggled with and what you become a little
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: bit neurotic about, it makes perfect sense. Where you look
• 11:59
  Speaker 3: at my person in the history, what caused me pain,
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: what I struggled through, and the things that I become
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: neurotic about. That makes sense. What's really interesting about my
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: tourettes is I come in and out of remission, and
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: sometimes some symptoms will go into remission and other symptoms
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: will just manifest. What I've noticed that has come back,
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: and it's been a very I've always had an obsessive
• 12:23
  Speaker 3: compulsive personality, but I haven't struggled in a very long
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: time with anything resembling OCD where it's demilitating that's starting
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: to resurface. There's been so many times where I am
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: by the lift and I know, I know I locked
• 12:42
  Speaker 3: the front door. I know it, and I'm just like
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: or I'm downstairs, I'm in the garage and I'm walking
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: to the car, I know everything's locked, and it's just
• 12:53
  Speaker 3: something takes over my brain. It's like, I can't do this.
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: I have to go back home. I have to go
• 12:58
  Speaker 3: back home. I have to check the door, have to
• 13:00
  Speaker 3: check the door. And I did it today with the
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: car where I know the car was shut, I knew
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: everything was locked, and I had to go all the
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: way back and doing this. I know the probability that
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: I have locked everything up is like ninety nine point
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: nine because I am so methodical and obsessive with things,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: but I cannot stop myself from going back and doing this.
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: And I was like trying to go through out like
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: it's not me, it's my OCD.
• 13:28
  Speaker 1: What would doctor Jeffrey Schwartz say?
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: And it's like, oh, you know, fucking I don't care
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: what Jeffrey Schwartz says. I'm checking that car again. It's
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: just because that's that's emotion.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: And fear and anxiety and it's your fucking central nervous
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: systems wide now. And you're like, even though I logically
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: know that what I'm about to do is illogical, I'm
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: still doing it because yeah, because if I don't do it,
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: I won't be calm, and I used to watch I
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: won't say her name, but it rhymes with Delissa starts
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: with them and is the bottle, No, don't.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: And we would go to a meeting. So we'd go
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: to a meeting.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: We'd take her car, for example, and we'd get out
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: and she'd lock the door of her car. She'd press
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: the button so all the doors would like lock, and
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: then she'd just kind of wriggle that, you know, pull
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: the handle in and out to make sure it's locked.
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: And then we'd walk over the other side of the road.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: We'd get to the other side of the road and
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: I could see her fidgeting and being a bit antsy,
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: and then she I knew she wanted to go back
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: and check, like I'd literally just watched her fucking lock
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: it three times and then shovel it, shake the handle
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: to make sure that the car was locked. And we
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: got to the other side of the road, and I
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: could tell she needed to go back and do it again, right,
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: And I part of me wanted to go, you're a
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: fucking idiot, it's locked, let's go right, But I knew
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: that if I'd won, I wouldn't do that. But if
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: I did do that, that would actually compound her anxiety
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: and would impact her ability to do whatever we were
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: going to go do well and to be calm. And
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: so I would just go off, you go, and then
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: she'd run across the road again, and then you know,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: do the whole process again, and she'd be fine. But
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: she knew. I knew. And so does that re emerge
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: for you? Is there a rhyme or reason. Does something
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: happen that triggers Like you said, your turets is kind
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: of making a bit of a reappearance or it comes
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: and goes. Is that is that linked to an external event?
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: I'm not sure. When I was younger, my symptoms just
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: to manifest when I was under a large stress. But
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: I have been under a large stress, to be fair,
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: for the past two years. The past two years, there's
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: been nothing but stressful for me. It's been a series
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: of disappointments, heart breaks, fear, no, I don't even want
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: to say like anxiety, like outright fear. With so many
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: things that I've had going on, I've been on an
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: emotional roller coaster, and some of very good, some of
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: it not very good, and it's affected me. But the
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: Tourette has not come back in a strong way. This morning,
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: I was in a meeting and I could feel myself
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: wanting to have a tick, Like it's just it's coming on.
• 16:26
  Speaker 3: I just want to start ticking, and I'm like, just don't,
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: don't tick, don't tick. But then it's like, oh, I
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: got like if it's just like somewhere in the call
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: on the motorway, you're in traffic and you got to
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: go for a WII and it's like yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: be able to focus on anything that week?
• 16:40
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:42
  Speaker 3: Ticks are like that. It's like it's like having a
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: wee with your face. You just got to do it otherwise.
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: Just having away with you. And there's the title, and
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: the title just presents itself ladies and gentlemen having a
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: way with your face. One of the most famous with y'h. Sorry,
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: I got to write that down because that's fucking hilarious.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: So there was this young dude in Australia on I
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: think it's AJT Australia's got talent or the voice or
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: one of those. He was a singer and he had
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: Tourette's and he when he would sing, I mean, which
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: is this happens quite a bit. I think people who
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: have Tourett's or whatever they sing and then it all
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: goes away. Right, So he was a good singer, really talented.
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: And do you I don't know if you know of
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: a singer called Delta Gudrum. She's an Australian.
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so Delta quite well known over here, done bits
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: and pieces overseas, probably more than that. I don't really
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: follow her that closely, but good singer, lovely lady and
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: not unattractive. Right, And the young dude gets up there
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: and he's next to Delta and he's talking on stage.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: This is live TV, and he goes, Delta's hot, Delta's hot,
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: and he couldn't he could like he'd done, He's done
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: the thing. And I'm like, oh, thank god he left
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: it at that. He just could have gone, you know,
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: like because it he's out of control. But it was
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: so sweet. Unfortunately, it was very to my memory, it
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: was it was people thought it was, you know, sweet,
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: and nobody.
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: I mean for everyone, but especially people with Tourette's. When
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: you're in a flow type of experience, deep immersive, single
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: minded focus, you your symptoms don't manifest. That's how that's
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: one of the reasons why I got into exercise. Yes,
• 18:36
  Speaker 3: is because my doctors were like, hey, you know, we
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: don't know why yet, which is interesting and but there's
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: a long time ago. But this whenever people are engaged
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: in single minded look like they're concentrating really hard like
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: things like exercise, their symptoms subside. So I thought, I'll
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: just walk around exercising all day.
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what could go wrong?
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's like one of those people.
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: Do you think about the next ten years, Like you're
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: going to be my age in ten years. Can't believe
• 19:07
  Speaker 2: I'm that much older than you. That fucking annoys me,
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: to be honest. But anyway, do you think about like
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: do you have any plan? Do you go or do
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: you just get up and do what you do? Like
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: I'm quite not over the top, but I'm quite strategic
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: about what I do over in terms of managing my
• 19:25
  Speaker 2: body and mind and health and function. Like it's not
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: ad hoc, Like I'm quite purposeful about what I do
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: and what I intend to do while drawing the line
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: to try not to be, you know, dysfunctionally addicted to
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: whatever it is I'm doing. But do you have any
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: kind of strategy about optimizing and managing your health or
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: are you getting more that way as you get older
• 19:49
  Speaker 2: and you can't just take shit for granted.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: Now, I actually want to go to the other direction, Craig.
• 19:55
  Speaker 3: I want to become less strategic and less regimental. What
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: I mean by that, sure one, you know, if I'm
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: here ten years from now, there's no guarantee I will be.
• 20:06
  Speaker 3: But if I'm here ten years from now, one thing
• 20:09
  Speaker 3: that's becoming apparent to me and moving from a mindset
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: in space of fitness into well being is that, yes,
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: you know, consistent movement, and I would go as far
• 20:22
  Speaker 3: to go beyond movement like vigorous exercise, sleep, diet. It's
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: all very important, clearly, but there are so many other variables.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: There are things that sometimes it doesn't fit into my
• 20:39
  Speaker 3: daily workflow schedule that I realize are probably hurting me
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: cognitively emotionally, which I think one will definitely affect the other.
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: They're both mutually reinforcing, like getting out of my getting
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: out of my house, going for a walk, being in nature,
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: even if nature. I live in downtown San die it
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: is hardly a place where you can access nature, but
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: if you go far enough, you can walk along the
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: water and that's kind of pretty cool taking little breaks.
• 21:12
  Speaker 3: Who do I surround myself with? Am I in an
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: environment that is deleterious too or supportive of well being?
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: I learned that lesson last week. I thought that was
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: the lesson of the week. I was at a three
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: day immersive advanced coaching course, and yeah, the information was great,
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: but the environment and the people I was with, I
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: felt ten years younger. I was sharper, I was quicker,
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: I was more creative, I was wittier. Like I just
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: felt like I went back in time about ten years
• 21:51
  Speaker 3: and the only thing that changed was my environment that
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: I was in. So there were things that I was
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: doing and there were things that I didn't have a
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: chance to do. I was disconnected from the outside world
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: for three days and it felt amazing. I mean, aside
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: from you know, on breaks, I would multitask and answer
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: test messages, yeah, emails, And because of that, I made
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: a ton of mistakes at work because I was like multitasking, Oh,
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: let me answer this in thirty seconds, rather than reading
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: the bloody email and responding appropriately. You know, it's like, okay,
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: so we have you know, in October in Los Angeles,
• 22:34
  Speaker 3: there are two seminars and we'd like you to give
• 22:37
  Speaker 3: this and what do you think And it's like, okay,
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: I'll have the chicken, not the fish. Thanks. Yeah, Bobby,
• 22:42
  Speaker 3: that's not at all what we were talking about.
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: But yeah, yeah, yeah, thanks.
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: For the response there. I'm just starting to realize there's
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: so many other aspects of well being, and I think,
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: not like I want to move away from the things
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: that I do consistently, like make exercise. I just want
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: to throw a spontaneaed in there.
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, okay, I'm thinking maybe I was thinking more like,
• 23:10
  Speaker 2: you do live a very healthy from a exercise movement.
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: I don't know about sleep, food, or you do tick
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: most of the boxes. And it is I mean, it's
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: always been true, but it's becoming more discussed and more
• 23:25
  Speaker 2: evident and more clear that who we spend time with
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: affects everything from our brain chemistry to our immune system
• 23:33
  Speaker 2: to our ability to sleep and feel loved and valued.
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: And then of course part of that is the environment
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: that you're in. But you know, here's the thing, Like
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: you just landed in this environment for three days. You
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: didn't choose it, you didn't create the experience. It was
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: because you happen to be in this place at this time,
• 23:51
  Speaker 2: doing this thing with these people. Now, you can't just
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: have one of those every week? So how do you
• 23:57
  Speaker 2: take that knowledge and that experience and try to recreate
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: something like that that is clearly physically, mentally, emotionally and
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: spiritually good for you? Like, because you can't just have
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: three days with awesome people every well, the average person can't.
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: How do you how do you extrapolate something from that
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: that you could implement I guess when you're not there.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: Well, for me, it's it's two things. It's by design,
• 24:27
  Speaker 3: where so I just joined a stand up comedy class,
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: so I get to go hang out with the type
• 24:35
  Speaker 3: of people I want to hang out with, and I
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: get to work on something that has a direct correlation
• 24:40
  Speaker 3: to my work, to my job role. But it's also
• 24:44
  Speaker 3: very difficult. It's also not a It is a public
• 24:49
  Speaker 3: speaking class. By every measure of the world, the stuff
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: we talk about is absolutely transferable. But it's not to
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: get up and speak for an hour or eight hours.
• 24:58
  Speaker 3: It's to get up nearly ten minutes at a comedy club.
• 25:03
  Speaker 3: And for me, it's challenging. It's putting myself in an
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: environment that has equal measure of support and challenge, being
• 25:10
  Speaker 3: around people that I could feed off of while learning
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: new skills and growing. I think growth and skill development
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: is essential for happiness and well being, so you can
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: do that. I also feel that for me, I'm not
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: saying this works for everyone. I mean, James Clear in
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: his book Atomic Habits, talks about this where yes, there's
• 25:31
  Speaker 3: will power, but we underappreciate identity, how we see ourselves,
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: who we say we are, and our environment. So I'm
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: very much aware that when I scroll through social media,
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: especially lately, does such harm to my emotional and mental state.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: I can't and it's not just wasting time. It's not
• 25:55
  Speaker 3: just you're sitting there looking at things. Some of them
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: are entertaining, some of the i'm a horrific and you
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: pick your head up for after thirty minutes, it's like,
• 26:04
  Speaker 3: where did they go? What the hell was that? That
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: was not a great use of my time for me
• 26:10
  Speaker 3: to go, Okay, I'm not going to go on social
• 26:12
  Speaker 3: media during my work day, that's ridiculous.
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: What I did is I deleted all my social media
• 26:18
  Speaker 3: apps from my phone. I took my iPad where I
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: have them, I put it away on a shelf somewhere.
• 26:24
  Speaker 3: So if I want to go on social media, it's
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: not like, oh, it's right there. It's reflexive. I have
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: to go through a couple of steps and think about
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: it to access kind of stuff like that.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: You know, to me, what's the negative emotional consequence that
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: you're talking about? Like you say, it fucks you up,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: It doesn't help you, it's not doing you any service,
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: Like what is there? What's the byproduct? Like what are
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: you looking at? What are you looking at that's making
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: you so shitty?
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: Oh? You know the things that pop up on my
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: feed because I think that everything is is politically divisive today,
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: isn't it. It's like, oh, I just got a new cat.
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: Well is that a left leaning or a right leaning?
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Which side is into cats?
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: Now? Did you get it from a shelter or not?
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Did you is this like? Did you save it? Or
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: did you just buy a cat? You fucking capitalist pig?
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 27:23
  Speaker 3: It's no no capitalist cat. I had a chance to
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: get a capitalist pig, but you know it was adopted
• 27:31
  Speaker 3: right now and it's just ridiculous. So I guess because
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: I'm I'm a weirdo, I am a moderate or a
• 27:45
  Speaker 3: centrist I get everything, and I see all of these things,
• 27:49
  Speaker 3: and it's just constant exposure to to anger, to complete intolerance,
• 27:56
  Speaker 3: lack of openness to any other opinion that does not
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: completely align with mine, whether or not I'm even able
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: to articulate what my opinion is and why I'm told it.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: So I get quite angry. I get quite anxious when
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: I'm going through social media. It's one of the reasons.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: And it's it's kind of hypocritical because like when you
• 28:20
  Speaker 3: get up and your public speak. I was talking to
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: someone today who and they were like, Oh, I want
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: to go do this thing. I want to go do
• 28:28
  Speaker 3: this event, but I'm not ready. I'm just not ready,
• 28:33
  Speaker 3: and you know, I have a lot of fear and
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: I'm afraid I'm going to say something wrong. And I
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: wasn't trying to be harsh, but I was like, well,
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: between now and then, you have a lot of opportunities
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: to kind of practice in again a challenging but relatively
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: safe environment. But if you are afraid, oh what if
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: I don't say the right that, You're never going to
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: be ready for this, Like this is not for you.
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: If there's anything like you're you're great and you're smart,
• 28:59
  Speaker 3: and you can do a lot of things. You might
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: not want to do this because there is no way
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: around that failure. So in that area, I have that
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: openness and I have that level of resilience where of
• 29:11
  Speaker 3: course it bothers me. If I got bootoff stage tomorrow,
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: it would hurt my feelings and I would wallow in
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: it and wake up the next morning and get on
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: another stage, yeah, and be fine. So for me to
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: be so impacted by social media that I intentionally stay
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: away from it, even though it's a really great tool
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: for me and I can communicate with so many more people.
• 29:35
  Speaker 3: To me, it seems a little bit hypocritical, But I
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: had to make a decision. Am I better or worse?
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: And most of the time I am worse because I'll
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: go to make a post and it's like, oh, you know,
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: somebody comments on a post, Oh, let me respond, and
• 29:51
  Speaker 3: then you just like they're so good, they're so smart.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: Next thing, you know, I'm four posts in and now
• 29:57
  Speaker 3: oh there's there's like a cat video and is like
• 30:00
  Speaker 3: wearing an outfit that this is amazing. I just got
• 30:03
  Speaker 3: to see how this plays out. And then you know,
• 30:05
  Speaker 3: next thing, I'm like like the funniest cat videos. Cats
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: that can talk, Are they really speaking or are they
• 30:11
  Speaker 3: just mimicking? And then and then I'm like into twelve
• 30:14
  Speaker 3: political rants.
• 30:15
  Speaker 2: You know, I don't do lots of one on one anymore,
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: but I do a bit, and you know, obviously just
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: chat to a bunch of people. But one of the
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: questions that I suggest people ask if they're where you are,
• 30:29
  Speaker 2: which is, oh, yeah, I just go down a rabbit hole.
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: I get lost. And I know you don't need advice
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: from me, So this is for our listeners. But I
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: always say, based on what I want to do today
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: and be and create, based on what I want to
• 30:42
  Speaker 2: get done today, is what I'm doing right now a
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: good investment of my energy and time? Like, is this
• 30:48
  Speaker 2: what I'm doing right now? Is this a wise investment
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: of my energy, which is not, by the way, a
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: limitless resource. You know, it's not an infinite resource. Neither
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: is my time. And it's like just hitting that pausemuton
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: and going no, this is bullshit, stop now, stop now,
• 31:07
  Speaker 2: because this is like you know, psychological or cognitive heroin.
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: For me, this is so shit, you know. And and
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: I asked that question, Well, I was going to say,
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: every day I truly intend to every day, but I
• 31:21
  Speaker 2: would say five or six days of the week, I
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: kind of I get my coffee, I sit there, I
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: be still before I start looking at stuff, which is
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: usually emails to be honest at the start, because I
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: don't look at them too much through the day. And
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: I say, based on want to do what I want
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: to do, be create and change today, what's the best
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: use of my energy, what's the best use of me,
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: what's the best use of my time? And then I
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: tried to without getting too kind of box sticky or
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: too kind of to do listy, or but just go yeah,
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: so this is this is what I need to get
• 31:51
  Speaker 2: done by lunchtime, these four things. And it's now six thirty,
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: so cool. And then I get to lunchtime and I've
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: done those things or I haven't, you know. And then
• 32:02
  Speaker 2: I go, well, either way it's on me, either well
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: done me, or you know, do better this afternoon. But
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: I think that this is a real exercise in self
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: awareness and situational awareness, is being able to put the
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: brakes on that shit and just go yeah. It's almost
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: that other worldly you looking at you, you know, it's
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: like you looking down on you, going come on, bro,
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: this is not you. This is not what you want
• 32:29
  Speaker 2: to be doing, This is not who you want to be,
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: this is this is bullshit. This is not healthy for you,
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: This is not helping you. This is destructive, not constructive.
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: Fuck that stuff off. So I'm proud of you, mate,
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: for getting off all those things. I think it's I
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: think it's a very good strategy. And as you said,
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: if you do need to or really want to, you
• 32:50
  Speaker 2: can access it. But you've made it. You've created a
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: couple of barriers between you and it, which is so
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: practically smart.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because if I want to go on and look
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: at social media, because there's a lot going on in
• 33:03
  Speaker 3: the world right now, and a lot of and I
• 33:05
  Speaker 3: don't want to talk about it, but a lot of
• 33:07
  Speaker 3: it does concern me, and so yeah, like I can
• 33:11
  Speaker 3: access it. I love the question what is the best
• 33:14
  Speaker 3: use of my time right now? Because that's like a
• 33:17
  Speaker 3: centering and a moment of self awareness. The issue with
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: me is I'll ask that question, but only after I
• 33:24
  Speaker 3: snap out of a trance that it works for me? Is
• 33:27
  Speaker 3: how do I restructure my environment to where the environment
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: lends itself to the task at hand. When you talked
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: about writing a list. Lists are something I've got back into.
• 33:39
  Speaker 3: There is there is so much science behind a list
• 33:42
  Speaker 3: and there's so much practicality. I love working off of
• 33:45
  Speaker 3: a list. It keeps me really focused. But me, like,
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: right even with choosing where I live, for me is strategic.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Right now, I've got a building that has two, you know,
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: relatively small but lovely courtyards and this lounge and co
• 34:01
  Speaker 3: share place. It kind of looks like you ever been
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: one of those like old world smoke shops kind of
• 34:08
  Speaker 3: things where they've got like the tough leather sofas, and
• 34:13
  Speaker 3: like everybody's in there discussing business in the lounge, like
• 34:16
  Speaker 3: average age is like ninety eight years old.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: It sounded like a John Wick movie up to that point.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's it's kind of it's kind of like that,
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: but you know, you don't see john Wick type characters there.
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: It's usually yeah, a which ages eighty seven, and they're like,
• 34:33
  Speaker 3: I don't know, like talking about some type of business venture.
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: But my lobby, I have that area, like a lounge
• 34:41
  Speaker 3: that kind of looks like that with the fireplace. Just
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: get out of your house. So I'm going to go
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: through that list downstairs and a lot of times I'll
• 34:49
  Speaker 3: leave my mobile phone upstairs because if it's an emergency,
• 34:52
  Speaker 3: I can access it. So the only thing I could
• 34:55
  Speaker 3: do is work. There's nothing else I've got, like the
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: loo just to my right, and I don't need to
• 35:03
  Speaker 3: I don't I can't go anywhere where there are distractions.
• 35:08
  Speaker 3: How restructuring that environment's critical for me.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: How okay are you with not being productive? I don't
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: mean scrolling on Insta. I mean just going down to
• 35:17
  Speaker 2: the lobby and just hanging out, just breathing, maybe chatting
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: to someone, maybe not getting anything done, maybe not ticking
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: a box, not bloody, meeting something. Yeah, that's something I'm
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: moving closer to and doing more frequently.
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: Where I go.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I've been like not productive this afternoon at all. And
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: that's fine, Like it's it's it's intended. It's not like,
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: oh fuck, I wasted. No, it's not like that. It's
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: like like last week when I was sick, you know,
• 35:48
  Speaker 2: the coin of the world kept ringing me, going do nothing,
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: do nothing, lie down, watch Netflix, stop moving, stop trying
• 35:54
  Speaker 2: to do shit, and I'm.
• 35:54
  Speaker 1: Like important, important, Don've got important to do?
• 36:01
  Speaker 2: And then I'm like, you're such a fucking idiot. You
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: know value anyway, your brain's not working, your energy's one
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: out of ten, and you're full of snot and you're hideous,
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: and stay away from everybody and just rest. And it's like, yeah,
• 36:11
  Speaker 2: that's for me. And I ended up doing that, which
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: was simultaneously cathartic and also frustrating, you know, but it's
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: what I needed.
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: Well, first of all, you have a spot on cantankerous
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: old man voice. Well done there, I'm very impressed. I
• 36:29
  Speaker 3: enjoyed that. Thank you.
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: You're welcome to I think for.
• 36:34
  Speaker 3: Me it's context dependent. If I plan to do something
• 36:39
  Speaker 3: and I have intention around doing something and I find
• 36:43
  Speaker 3: myself not doing something, I tend to have an internal
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: dialogue with myself that is less than constructive. I don't
• 36:51
  Speaker 3: deal with that very well. I tend to be very disappointed,
• 36:54
  Speaker 3: butreat myself and like command myself back to work like
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: you're drunk an abusive foreman. So yeah, don't don't do that.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: That's that's not a great strategy. But if I find
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: myself at certain points just drifting off and doing nothing,
• 37:12
  Speaker 3: I don't think anything's wasted. Because when you're in highly
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: creative work and people that are not in this space right,
• 37:26
  Speaker 3: it's I don't think it is very hard. Like like,
• 37:31
  Speaker 3: let's say you have six seminars that you have to
• 37:33
  Speaker 3: create from scratch this month. Yep, that's a lot of work.
• 37:38
  Speaker 3: You know, end articles and trainings, and it's like, so
• 37:41
  Speaker 3: you got to put all this there's all this output
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: coming out of you sometimes like letting your mind wander
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: and doing absolutely nothing, or getting involved in the conversation,
• 37:54
  Speaker 3: going for a walk, or getting lost in thought. It's
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: using those brain states to become more creative. So this
• 38:03
  Speaker 3: is probably a horrible example, but what pops into my
• 38:06
  Speaker 3: mind is Stephen Covey's book Seven Habits of Highly Effected
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: People and the habit around sharpening the saw. It's such
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: a great story. I don't think I appreciated it when
• 38:15
  Speaker 3: I first read the book. Now that you're old, I
• 38:17
  Speaker 3: love his stories because they really land with me. You
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: know that lumberjack who's stopping like every hour and sitting
• 38:25
  Speaker 3: down and sharpening. To the rest of the lumberjacks, this
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: person's wasteful and not productive. It's like, dude, we've got
• 38:32
  Speaker 3: to chop down a certain amount of trees. We've only
• 38:34
  Speaker 3: got a day to do it. You're taking more breaks
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: than anyone. Well, at the end of the week, this
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: guy's chopped down thirty percent more trees than everybody else.
• 38:42
  Speaker 3: And I think mentally, just just going out for a
• 38:46
  Speaker 3: walk and having a wander and allowing yourself to do
• 38:49
  Speaker 3: absolutely nothing makes you so much more productive. And I
• 38:53
  Speaker 3: don't want to hear that chat GPT shit because you
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: cannot have chat GPT is a great tool. I utilize
• 38:59
  Speaker 3: chat GPT as a thought partner. But you can't just
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: have chat GPT rite presentations for you, and it's not
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: gonna be visceral, it's not gonna be human, it's not
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: gonna land. You can't have chat GPT right reports for
• 39:12
  Speaker 3: you and stuff well report I think emails and reports, yeah, absolutely,
• 39:16
  Speaker 3: but human to human things where where the stakes are
• 39:19
  Speaker 3: very high, you're not going to come across as a
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: human being and you're not gonna come across authentically. As
• 39:24
  Speaker 3: a matter of fact, when I use chat GPT, I
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: work harder because I will write something from scratch, yeah
• 39:33
  Speaker 3: chat GPT, and then get its opinion and then just
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: kind of like me and you are going back and forth,
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: like the times when we would sit in your office
• 39:43
  Speaker 3: and just like workshop something we bounce it back and forth.
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: So by the time I'm done, it's like it's been
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: sent back and forth and I've redone it three times.
• 39:54
  Speaker 3: So in order to have that level of output, I
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: think you just gotta let your your you know, default
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: mode network work for you. Had a great conversation with
• 40:06
  Speaker 3: someone that I think you'd love. She did a TED talk.
• 40:09
  Speaker 3: Her name is Suzann Bureau, and she's an executive coach,
• 40:14
  Speaker 3: and she was just talking about how nothing's ever wasted,
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: like how everything gives you tools and insights because like
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: all the information you're learning, what ninety percent of it
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: is not original. You know, you pick up a book,
• 40:28
  Speaker 3: somebody else has said something like that. But the way
• 40:30
  Speaker 3: it's it's explained, the way it's delivered and communicated, that's
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: important and that comes from your personal experience. And she
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: talks about her family owned a barber shop and he
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: was a horrible barber, like she used to like cut
• 40:43
  Speaker 3: people's ears and stuff, horrible, but they loved her and
• 40:46
  Speaker 3: she learned more about business and leadership working in a
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: barber shop than anywhere else. Yeah, I just I just
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: love talking to this lady. I thought she was just
• 40:56
  Speaker 3: like one. I found her very gracious, and she was
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: like really intelligent and in say it FORUL and that's
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: that's hermetic.
• 41:06
  Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent. And you think about like I
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: think back about when I had my gyms and my
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: big one on the highway, which was, you know, ten
• 41:16
  Speaker 2: thousand square feet, and a bunch of whole bunch of trainers,
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: and I would say fifteen cent of my trainers had
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: a tertiary qualification, an undergrade degree or honors or masters.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: A couple had two guys I think had PhDs, right,
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: but the bulk of my trainers were sirt three and
• 41:36
  Speaker 2: cirt for qualified, so industry qualified and short registered all
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: that stuff. But while very smart and very capable, you
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: wouldn't call any of them really academics, which is not
• 41:45
  Speaker 2: good or bad. That's just for most of them. A
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: lot of my early life I was didn't know one
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: end of the university or a bloody whatever from whatever.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: Like I didn't go to any until I was thirty six,
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: so I was very pro academic. But the funny thing
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: is the more often than not, and this is not
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: a slight on anyone who goes to or went to UNI,
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: but more often than not, my best trainers were those
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: that just happened to be They could read the room,
• 42:16
  Speaker 2: they could read people, they could build rapport and connection
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: and trust, and people loved them. And they were funny
• 42:23
  Speaker 2: and they were consistent, and they came to really genuinely
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: care about and understand their clients, and there was nothing
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: transactional about the relationship. And the irony is that those
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: guys who didn't try to make more money or create
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: better systems or it's like a couple of them would
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: come up to me and they go, here's my new
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: cancelation policy. What do you think. I'm like, well, sure, sure,
• 42:51
  Speaker 2: you can't really endorse that, by the way, but you know,
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: if you've got someone who trains with you, like back
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: even when we closed or earlier, it was sixty bucks
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: an hour, right, So if you've got someone who trains
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: with you three days a week, two hundred and eighty dollars,
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: your times that by a year, that's nine thousand dollars.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: I go, if you really want to change train or charge,
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: I should say. You know, Donna sixty bucks because her
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: kid had like a throat infection in the middle of
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: the night, was thrown up and they only gave you
• 43:23
  Speaker 2: three hours, not twelve hours cancelation, and in the context
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: of the relationship that I think you've built with that person,
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: and also the nine grand they're spending with you this year,
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: And I go, sure, I guess you can do that,
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: but that is so fucking stupid. And the fact that
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: you don't realize that stupid that worries me, you know,
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: And oh, but you've got to have otherwise people just
• 43:49
  Speaker 2: maybe I think the whole idea of absolute inflexible rules
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: and you know, policies depending on the situation. Of course,
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: in my situation, I'm like, hey, dude, if you want
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: to fuck up your business, just start being like a
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: stickler for policy. Fuck policy. Like if somebody is just
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: a dickhead who doesn't turn up, get rid of them.
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: I got rid of a bunch of clients. I just
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: go make this thing going to work. Because you're not serious,
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: have a great life, you know, no animosity. Just I'm
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: not training you, but you need to be able to
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: just read people, love people, care about people, or don't
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: do this job because if this job is only about money,
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: you will never do great because people will get it,
• 44:34
  Speaker 2: people will know what you're about.
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: It boggles my mind how many people do not get that.
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: And now, first let me just say, when you're running
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: a business, cancelation policies are necessary and they're fair, but
• 44:49
  Speaker 3: so is being a human and taking into consideration context.
• 44:54
  Speaker 3: Every policy you implement is to serve the business and
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: to serve your members. Don't let your policies consume your principles.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: Very very clear with that, because you know, I think
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: with the way the world is going today, and god,
• 45:11
  Speaker 3: now I sound like an old guy ranting, so apologies,
• 45:16
  Speaker 3: that's exactly what I am. You think about it.
• 45:19
  Speaker 2: You are not fucking twenty. So when you go, I
• 45:22
  Speaker 2: sound like an old guy, lack of awareness. You're an
• 45:25
  Speaker 2: old guy.
• 45:26
  Speaker 3: So so here's here's an old guy rant thank you.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: One thing that I am seeing as a trend is
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: when when I first got into the I don't want
• 45:39
  Speaker 3: to say working world. I got into the working world
• 45:41
  Speaker 3: at age ten. You know, illegal child labor, but it
• 45:44
  Speaker 3: was all right, it was Brooklyn.
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: What was first job at ten?
• 45:49
  Speaker 3: All right?
• 45:50
  Speaker 2: Do you know want that?
• 45:52
  Speaker 3: It was literally a shit job. So my job when
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: I was ten is I got a job working in
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: a basement for a small operation that made you remember
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: wheat grass, the health drink It yeah, okay, and so.
• 46:10
  Speaker 2: We had still pretty Melbourne by the way.
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: Oh is it okay? And ever since I was ten
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: years old, I fucking hate wheat grass and I had
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: these fluorescent lights and it would grow the grass. And
• 46:27
  Speaker 3: my job was to.
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Put gloves.
• 46:33
  Speaker 3: I had to stick my hands in a vata manure.
• 46:36
  Speaker 2: Oh god, that is child.
• 46:40
  Speaker 3: And I was the manure. No, that was the best
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: part of the job because I had these nice long
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: gloves on. So it's stunk like hell. It was disgusting.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: But then I had to go out in the hot
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: like I mean, New York City summers are oppressive. I
• 46:56
  Speaker 3: mean it is hot and sticky. It is disgusting. And
• 47:00
  Speaker 3: I had to take all of the old manure trees
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: and I had to stuff them into these giant bins.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: And then my boss, to save room in the bins,
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: was like, okay, you're gonna climb up and get inside
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: the bin and stomp all those trays down. So now
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: I'm inside of this we call them giant dumpsters, and
• 47:26
  Speaker 3: I'm stepping and compressing tons of shit. And then I
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: had to jump out of that go back and mix
• 47:33
  Speaker 3: more shit than take those trains. I did that all day,
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: all day, Like I think I was getting paid something
• 47:41
  Speaker 3: stupid like three or five dollars an hour, not a
• 47:44
  Speaker 3: lot of money.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: You were hand Firstly, how the fuck have I never
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: heard this story? That is the best and worst story
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: you've ever told. Why were you not at school?
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: Well it was the summertime, and then there was after school,
• 48:01
  Speaker 3: and you know, like my stepfather, he was like you
• 48:04
  Speaker 3: always always, no matter what, need to have a job.
• 48:09
  Speaker 3: Now he didn't take his own advice, but for me
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: very important that I always have a job, and so
• 48:15
  Speaker 3: I always did. When I was twelve years old, I
• 48:18
  Speaker 3: would have worked twelve to fifteen hour days at a
• 48:20
  Speaker 3: catering hall in Coney Island. And that place was that
• 48:25
  Speaker 3: was a very interesting place. I'm actually very grateful for
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: it because I learned a lot of valuable lessons that
• 48:30
  Speaker 3: shape me. But I always had these really these rough jobs.
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: But when I got into my career where oh you
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: know I'm gonna I'm gonna be here for a while.
• 48:38
  Speaker 3: I have a future vision built around this.
• 48:42
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: I was always reminded. You know, when you leave here
• 48:46
  Speaker 3: tonight and you get into your car, like before you
• 48:50
  Speaker 3: start the car, have a thought, and you had thank you,
• 48:53
  Speaker 3: thank you, mister missus member, for paying for this car.
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: When you go home, turn on the lights, thank your
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: customer that your electric bills paid, and thank them for
• 49:04
  Speaker 3: the roof over your head. Because clients pay for this
• 49:08
  Speaker 3: shit and that should show you their place in our organization.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: And I'm seeing a shift to where it's almost like,
• 49:16
  Speaker 3: and I agree with this, if you're a shitty customer,
• 49:19
  Speaker 3: you need to go. If you're an abusive customer, you
• 49:22
  Speaker 3: probably needs to fuck off. But it's almost like the
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: customer is indebted to the person providing the service. And
• 49:33
  Speaker 3: I think that's a little bit that's a little bit unbalanced. Y.
• 49:37
  Speaker 3: I think if you the late great Michael Scott Scudder
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: said this to me, and it was about a business
• 49:45
  Speaker 3: I really cared about, so it really landed. He's not
• 49:49
  Speaker 3: been with us for many years, but Michael Scott Scudder
• 49:52
  Speaker 3: was who's a friend of mine, and he said, imagine
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: if your business went way today, you and your customers
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: would be sad. There would be a loss your you're
• 50:08
  Speaker 3: you're contributing authors, your presenters.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we would.
• 50:12
  Speaker 3: We would lose value, we'd lose a platform. We'd be okay, though,
• 50:16
  Speaker 3: I mean we we'd crack on. But imagine that all
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: of your authors and your speakers and your customers went away,
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: you'd be finished.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: So this is back when you had PETE Global right
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: where you were that he was this stage.
• 50:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's exactly the stage. He wasn't talking about PTA Global,
• 50:42
  Speaker 3: but I was just.
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: I was trying to give our listeners an understand sense.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: What because they're going, what do he means? Like? Yeah,
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: Like it doesn't make sense if you don't know the
• 50:50
  Speaker 2: business you're talking about.
• 50:52
  Speaker 3: So in any business, if you think about if you
• 50:56
  Speaker 3: think about your internal customers, your employees, should think about
• 50:58
  Speaker 3: all of your vendors. You think about obviously your customers.
• 51:02
  Speaker 3: If they went away, you'd be done. There is nothing
• 51:06
  Speaker 3: you can do but go out of business. So when
• 51:09
  Speaker 3: you think about this, that should probably frame how you communicate.
• 51:15
  Speaker 3: I think in today's day and age, more than more
• 51:18
  Speaker 3: than any other time since I've been alive, if you
• 51:22
  Speaker 3: do two things, just two things, you will separate yourself
• 51:27
  Speaker 3: from ninety five percent of the people. Number One, develop
• 51:29
  Speaker 3: communication skills, be able to communicate in a meeting, on stage,
• 51:35
  Speaker 3: in a coaching session, be a masterful community or you
• 51:40
  Speaker 3: know what, forget being a masterful communicator. Be a very
• 51:43
  Speaker 3: good communicator, and you'll separate yourself from ninety five percent
• 51:47
  Speaker 3: of people. The other thing is actively give a shit care,
• 51:53
  Speaker 3: put your care into action, and you will stand out.
• 51:59
  Speaker 2: Even with that. The cammunication one, it doesn't have to
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: be as a presenter or you know. It could be
• 52:04
  Speaker 2: you know, doing your retail job. It could be selling
• 52:07
  Speaker 2: shirts or shoes. It could be that you own a
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: cleaning business and you've got to manage ten cleaners, or
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: you're one of the cleaners and you know it. I mean,
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: life is interaction, Life is conversation, life is relationships, and
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: just that irrespective, even if you don't have a job
• 52:25
  Speaker 2: per se, it still matters in life and socialization and
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: connection and conflict resolution and problem solving and teamwork and leadership.
• 52:33
  Speaker 2: It's like there's pretty much no area of life that's
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: intersecting with another human where communication is not paramount, So
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: you know, in and outside of the workspace. I think
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: that's like I'm with you, it's if you're a good communicator.
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: My third one that I would add on that is
• 52:53
  Speaker 2: which kind of ties in with being a good communicator
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: is understanding other people. I just think so many people
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: don't try to understand a perspective or a mindset, or
• 53:05
  Speaker 2: a concept or an idea or a theology or a
• 53:08
  Speaker 2: whatever that isn't theirs, Which is not to say understanding
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: is not aligning, and understanding is not agreeing. It's just
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: what we're trying to do is have insight into how
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: other people are so that we can build that well.
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: From here, I can communicate with you better because I
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: understand you. I might not agree with you, but I
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: understand you, so ah, tell people where they can go on,
• 53:33
  Speaker 2: go on.
• 53:34
  Speaker 3: I don't want to get into this. I'll just say
• 53:37
  Speaker 3: this is my bias. Yes, When you do these things,
• 53:41
  Speaker 3: to hear a lot of like, oh, well, they don't
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: pay me enough to do this, or I'm not doing
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: this for this company, not for that boss. I don't
• 53:48
  Speaker 3: think you do it for your boss. I think you
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: do this for yourself. And I think anything that makes
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: you more valuable to a client or a customer or
• 53:57
  Speaker 3: makes you a better I want to say employee, because
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: a lot of ways that makes you better at your craft.
• 54:04
  Speaker 3: I think also makes you a happier and more resilient
• 54:07
  Speaker 3: person no matter how bad things are when you are
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: connecting with other people, because you really care about them.
• 54:13
  Speaker 3: When you are conscientious about communication, and when you have
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: a habit of continually learning and growing around areas that
• 54:25
  Speaker 3: are relevant to what it is you want to be
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: and have and do. It only builds resistance. It doesn't
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: add weight. It alleviates, it unburdens you.
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: True that brother, Robert the self help Antidote, I'm going
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: to tell you is the name of Bobby's show. Uh
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: and I'm going to say, Robertcapuccio dot com. Is that
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: the website?
• 54:53
  Speaker 3: No, yes, that's that's that's one of my websites. The
• 54:58
  Speaker 3: other one, the other one is the self Help Antidote
• 55:01
  Speaker 3: dot com. Which makes it very simple.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: Just don't send him a message on Instagram because he
• 55:07
  Speaker 2: won't get it because he's not looking at it. Maybe
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: send him a carrier pigeon. I'll get back to you
• 55:11
  Speaker 2: a week from now a brief note, or I might
• 55:14
  Speaker 2: well talk off here, but as always, love catching up
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: with you.
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: Thank you, thank you everyone,