Latest / Aired Out / Sweethearts and Heroes - Jay Cummings
Transcript
- 0:11Speaker 1: Drink bedroom trot, the blunt drink the bedroom, the clunk drop,
- 0:24Speaker 1: the back drink bedroom constant dustin strength dust, the strength
- 0:35Speaker 1: dustin strung dust, the band string dustiness, the strunk dust,
- 0:42Speaker 1: the strength test batundust drink, broom the blinkdrop, the broom
- 0:52Speaker 1: drink out backroom blink drop, the bum drink from bedroom.
- 1:12Speaker 2: Good morning, we got a stray shower today, says the
- 1:16Speaker 2: National Weather Service. Beautiful morning. And I don't know about you,
- 1:21Speaker 2: but last night was just one of those nights where
- 1:25Speaker 2: I just wish it was like that all the time.
- 1:27Speaker 2: It was so amazing to be out on the patio
- 1:32Speaker 2: last night under the stars, and as I posted up
- 1:35Speaker 2: the picture the crescent moon and Jupiter and Venus, it
- 1:40Speaker 2: was just such a beautiful, beautiful night. We'll give you
- 1:43Speaker 2: more details on the forecast here in just a second.
- 1:47Speaker 2: Happy Wednesday. It is hump Day, Sweethearts and Heroes Day,
- 1:51Speaker 2: and we're gonna get to Jay Cummings here in just
- 1:53Speaker 2: a little bit. First though, Deb Phillips on the line
- 1:56Speaker 2: with us every Wednesday from the World Newspaper, which comes
- 2:01Speaker 2: out today. Deb, Good morning, Good morning, Where the heck
- 2:05Speaker 2: are you? You're running around?
- 2:07Speaker 3: I'm running around as usual.
- 2:09Speaker 2: What's what's happening.
- 2:12Speaker 3: Well in the world. This week, we'll continuing with our
- 2:15Speaker 3: shop Local, Shop where you Live promotion and the beached advertisers.
- 2:21Speaker 3: This week is the Such from Mount Auto Parts. They
- 2:26Speaker 3: have pre owned vehicles and outstanding repair service. And that's
- 2:30Speaker 3: kind of a an unknown thing of such Vermont that
- 2:34Speaker 3: they have such a great, uh service department.
- 2:37Speaker 2: Yeah, they really do. And they've also got some coupons
- 2:40Speaker 2: for some oil changes. I think I saw in there
- 2:43Speaker 2: last week, right, Yes.
- 2:45Speaker 4: Yes, they have.
- 2:46Speaker 3: They have coupons for discounts.
- 2:48Speaker 2: On oil changes, entire entire changeovers too.
- 2:52Speaker 3: Yeah, which I think a lot of people that's already,
- 2:56Speaker 3: but some people are still changing over their tires at
- 2:58Speaker 3: this point. We also, uh, you know, if you're looking
- 3:04Speaker 3: to renovations to your home, be sure to look at
- 3:07Speaker 3: the Homeowner Service Guide. That plus we have mentioned local
- 3:13Speaker 3: professionals in our service directory every week.
- 3:18Speaker 2: Any anything else step today to to look forward to
- 3:21Speaker 2: in the paper.
- 3:23Speaker 3: Wow, we have so much going on and sometimes you know, yeah.
- 3:33Speaker 2: Well you're also driving, Yeah, I.
- 3:36Speaker 3: Know, I have my appointment ran late this morning and
- 3:40Speaker 3: I was like, oh no, I'm going to be.
- 3:43Speaker 2: On the road with well there's always always a great
- 3:47Speaker 2: read in there. The historical stuff at the backside of
- 3:50Speaker 2: the World Paper is something that I finally am getting
- 3:54Speaker 2: a chance to read. And I can't get it all
- 3:57Speaker 2: done in one shot. Too many interruptions at my house.
- 4:00Speaker 2: But it's just so interesting to read the history of
- 4:05Speaker 2: and the effort and everything that goes into that is
- 4:09Speaker 2: not an easy task. There's a lot of info in there.
- 4:12Speaker 3: Yes, and every week we have that that special, you know,
- 4:16Speaker 3: because America is celebrating their two hundred and fiftieth anniversary
- 4:21Speaker 3: and this is so Yeah, every week to.
- 4:25Speaker 2: New article, good stuff. Thank you so much, Deb. All right, Yeah,
- 4:34Speaker 2: we look forward to chatting with your next Wednesday and
- 4:37Speaker 2: sales at vtdash world dot com. Right there in front
- 4:40Speaker 2: of you, Deb Phillips from the World Central, from its
- 4:43Speaker 2: favorite weekly newspaper, and again it comes out today. Look
- 4:48Speaker 2: forward to it. Yes, Dave, I know, love the world too.
- 4:53Speaker 2: Lots happening, lots going on. I want to give a
- 4:55Speaker 2: shout out to Barry Tobacco and Beer right across the
- 4:58Speaker 2: street from us here on nor Main Street, and Barry
- 5:02Speaker 2: last night finally got a chance to enjoy some of
- 5:06Speaker 2: the down East sider that I picked up over there,
- 5:09Speaker 2: and it's just amazing. Always specials going on, always great deals.
- 5:15Speaker 2: Their cooler selection is unreal. I don't think I've ever
- 5:20Speaker 2: seen anything like it. It is just amazing, no matter
- 5:23Speaker 2: what it is if you're looking for a craft brew,
- 5:25Speaker 2: a summertime refresher. And I know this morning I was
- 5:29Speaker 2: posting up the Facebook question of the day about Margarita's
- 5:33Speaker 2: what's your favorite margarita and all that, So we're already
- 5:37Speaker 2: getting some reaction on that, and I love reading it.
- 5:40Speaker 2: I love it, and thank you so much for engaging.
- 5:45Speaker 2: We appreciate it. Details on the forecast coming up in
- 5:49Speaker 2: just a little bit. I can tell you though, that
- 5:52Speaker 2: we do have some showers that are moving through Central
- 5:55Speaker 2: from out right now, and some of them, what I'm hearing,
- 5:59Speaker 2: are packing a pretty good punch. Also got a note
- 6:04Speaker 2: this morning from the City of Barry. There's some stress
- 6:11Speaker 2: with the in and out of the Granite city right
- 6:14Speaker 2: now because of the planned water main upgrades on Spaulding Street.
- 6:21Speaker 2: Water service is going to be interrupted during working hours
- 6:26Speaker 2: on Thursday, that would be tomorrow, to complete the upgrades
- 6:31Speaker 2: in a couple of different locations. This outage is only
- 6:34Speaker 2: going to impact customers on Spaulding Street between Washington Street
- 6:39Speaker 2: and House number twenty five. We will be posting this
- 6:42Speaker 2: up on Facebook. We will be pushing it on the
- 6:46Speaker 2: page as well, getting the information out there. But please
- 6:50Speaker 2: exercise some caution and some patients, as we've been pushing
- 6:54Speaker 2: every morning. The traffic in and out of the Granite
- 6:58Speaker 2: City right now is pretty intense and there's a lot
- 7:02Speaker 2: of going around this side street and that side street.
- 7:07Speaker 2: Just be careful. This morning, I have a guy on
- 7:12Speaker 2: the air with me who I've never met, but man,
- 7:18Speaker 2: another one that Tom Murphy over at Sweethearts and Heroes
- 7:22Speaker 2: sings the praises of Jay Cummings. A very good morning
- 7:27Speaker 2: to you, my friend. Nice to meet you so much
- 7:29Speaker 2: here virtually through the internet. It's nice to have you on, man.
- 7:33Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
- 7:34Speaker 4: Jay, Well, thank you so much for having me on.
- 7:37Speaker 4: It's a pleasure to be here today.
- 7:39Speaker 2: Man, I have heard so much about you. First, tell
- 7:44Speaker 2: our listeners a little bit about you, who you are
- 7:47Speaker 2: and where you are.
- 7:49Speaker 4: Well. I am in Saint Albans, Vermont this morning, where
- 7:53Speaker 4: I work at a local bank, and I don't know
- 7:57Speaker 4: the story of Jay Cummings is kind of a long
- 8:01Speaker 4: and checkered one. But I guess the highlights would be
- 8:03Speaker 4: I'm a seventh generation for Mantor and my daughter's number eight.
- 8:07Speaker 4: And you know that in three bucks, I'll get you
- 8:10Speaker 4: a coffee over at McDon over at Duncan Donuts.
- 8:12Speaker 2: So listen for monors, love for manors, and love hearing
- 8:17Speaker 2: folks on the air that that are dialed into our
- 8:20Speaker 2: state firsthand. And you are you're you're where you're up
- 8:24Speaker 2: and where Saint.
- 8:24Speaker 4: Albans st Albans, correct, Yeah, the VP.
- 8:28Speaker 2: And business development officer over at People's.
- 8:32Speaker 4: Bank, People's Trust Company Bank. Yeah, that's correct.
- 8:36Speaker 2: Wow. So how are you connected with sweethearts and heroes?
- 8:42Speaker 2: I know it was as as Leon and Tom say,
- 8:46Speaker 2: you go way way way back to the beginning. You
- 8:49Speaker 2: saw one presentation and that was it for you.
- 8:54Speaker 4: That that was That's pretty much the synapsis that happened. Uh,
- 8:58Speaker 4: And I actually met Tom prior to that. Our two
- 9:02Speaker 4: businesses did a little bit of work together. And when
- 9:06Speaker 4: you meet Tom for the first time, it's intense, it's
- 9:10Speaker 4: it's yeah, he is a big personality. And to be
- 9:14Speaker 4: honest with you, I don't even know if I should
- 9:16Speaker 4: say this on the air, but I am an open book.
- 9:18Speaker 4: I didn't even really like him. I was like, Wow,
- 9:21Speaker 4: who is this guy? And he's larger than life And
- 9:24Speaker 4: it didn't take long for him to convert me over
- 9:26Speaker 4: to the to the good side. It was my own
- 9:29Speaker 4: insecurity's probably coming out. But we've been great friends for
- 9:35Speaker 4: god fifteen years, maybe twenty, I'm not sure, but yeah,
- 9:38Speaker 4: for some reason in conversations that you have with Tom,
- 9:40Speaker 4: and those conversations are always intriguing and diving into meanings
- 9:45Speaker 4: of things and how the brain reacts and how you think.
- 9:50Speaker 4: I'm not sure what happened first, but I found myself
- 9:53Speaker 4: sitting in what I call one of his feature presentations
- 9:56Speaker 4: that's about an hour and a half hour forty five,
- 10:00Speaker 4: and I was blown away. That was one of the
- 10:03Speaker 4: most meaningful and impactful things I've ever seen in my life.
- 10:06Speaker 4: And so I go home and tell my wife, the
- 10:09Speaker 4: school teacher, about what I've seen and the impact on
- 10:12Speaker 4: school age children, and she kind of nodded her head
- 10:16Speaker 4: and said, yeah, you know, that sounded good. So what
- 10:18Speaker 4: I needed for my next step was outside verification from authority.
- 10:23Speaker 4: So I somehow got my wife to go to the
- 10:25Speaker 4: next one for her, you know, her evaluation of a
- 10:29Speaker 4: person in the industry, right, yeah, you know.
- 10:33Speaker 2: And here I am wearing a free Hugs shirt every Wednesday.
- 10:38Speaker 2: I try to remember to wear the shirt. Sometimes it
- 10:41Speaker 2: gets a little stinky, but listen, you got to throw
- 10:45Speaker 2: it on and it. Do you have one of these shirts?
- 10:50Speaker 4: Jay, I do, and I got a couple of them,
- 10:54Speaker 4: and I can't pull it off the way you and
- 10:57Speaker 4: the way you and Tom do. I weren't on a
- 10:59Speaker 4: trip once, uh, and walking through airports, I just got
- 11:02Speaker 4: a bunch of funny looks.
- 11:03Speaker 2: Oh my god, you you after you saw a presentation
- 11:08Speaker 2: where Tom of course, Uh. He's always wearing the free
- 11:12Speaker 2: Hugs shirt and always talking about the power of a
- 11:18Speaker 2: hug in embrace and how effective it is in releasing
- 11:26Speaker 2: oxy codon or oxy uh ox dose it my god,
- 11:32Speaker 2: And he's so he's so emphatic with everything that he delivers.
- 11:37Speaker 2: But man, what he's what he says, the power behind
- 11:41Speaker 2: a hug is just incredible. And it doesn't always have
- 11:47Speaker 2: to be someone that you know.
- 11:50Speaker 4: It.
- 11:51Speaker 2: You know, if you see someone if you're out man,
- 11:53Speaker 2: and it's like, you know, maybe ask permission. My wife
- 11:56Speaker 2: does it all the time. She'll get talking with it
- 11:58Speaker 2: with a stranger and she'll be she'll feel some connection
- 12:01Speaker 2: and she'll be like, you know what, I'd like to
- 12:04Speaker 2: give you a hug? Is that all right?
- 12:07Speaker 4: That's amazing.
- 12:08Speaker 2: We need more of that, though, Jay, I think I agree.
- 12:12Speaker 4: I agree, And I've traveled a little bit with Tom,
- 12:15Speaker 4: and I think he's just so natural with it. And again,
- 12:18Speaker 4: you know, here's this giant, six foot four piece of
- 12:21Speaker 4: muscle walking around and it's so disproportionate to many people
- 12:27Speaker 4: that I've watched complete strangers men just walk up to
- 12:30Speaker 4: him and say, I'll take one of those. And I
- 12:32Speaker 4: don't know, maybe I just don't admit that that inviting
- 12:36Speaker 4: enzyme or the or to invite hugs and and but Tom,
- 12:40Speaker 4: I've always admired how in the maral where you go,
- 12:42Speaker 4: no matter who it is, they just they roll right
- 12:45Speaker 4: into his arms.
- 12:46Speaker 2: Yeah, it's amazing. Now, you after you went to a
- 12:50Speaker 2: couple of presentations, you started to advocate for sweethearts and
- 12:56Speaker 2: heroes and at the beginning of the beginning and you
- 13:00Speaker 2: were You're going to school board meetings saying, look, you
- 13:04Speaker 2: got to get this guy into your school. Just trust
- 13:07Speaker 2: me here.
- 13:08Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm kind of a nut like that. When I
- 13:11Speaker 4: get hold of something, I feel the need to go
- 13:14Speaker 4: share it. You know, things don't happen unless something happens,
- 13:17Speaker 4: and I'm the guy that one of the people in
- 13:20Speaker 4: the world that will go out and spread the word,
- 13:22Speaker 4: and you know, and so I would actually just start
- 13:25Speaker 4: showing up at school board meetings and I'm going on
- 13:28Speaker 4: the computer trying to find whose meeting when, and I'd
- 13:31Speaker 4: go sit there and I'd make a pitch about Sweethearts
- 13:34Speaker 4: in here. Tom never asked me to do any of this,
- 13:37Speaker 4: and half the time, I don't even know if he
- 13:39Speaker 4: knew I was doing it. And so I was trying
- 13:42Speaker 4: my best because I was really moved by that because
- 13:46Speaker 4: at the end of the day, you know, he's saving lives. Literally,
- 13:50Speaker 4: it's not hyperbole. It is an absolute fact. And I've
- 13:55Speaker 4: probably seen twelve or fifteen, maybe twenty of these presentations,
- 13:59Speaker 4: and I can tell you with a complete certainty that
- 14:03Speaker 4: each and every one of his presentations he is saving lives.
- 14:08Speaker 4: And if you don't mind, I'll indulge you a little
- 14:11Speaker 4: bit on that when I I've had the Bank sponsor
- 14:15Speaker 4: a couple in some schools, and I've had some other
- 14:17Speaker 4: people sponsor his uh stuff in schools, and so when
- 14:21Speaker 4: I go, I like sitting right in the middle of
- 14:23Speaker 4: the pack, just to get a feel of what the
- 14:25Speaker 4: kids are. They're dialed into it and stuff like that.
- 14:28Speaker 4: And like my wife says, when you're doing like that
- 14:32Speaker 4: eighth grade ninth grade group, if you can get them
- 14:35Speaker 4: to sit still and listen for ninety minutes, you've got
- 14:38Speaker 4: something incredibly Like a lot of administrators. When Tom says
- 14:42Speaker 4: I need an hour forty five, he's like, they look
- 14:44Speaker 4: at him and say you're gonna lose him at fifteen minutes.
- 14:47Speaker 4: And the administrators come back the same way I do. Right,
- 14:50Speaker 4: So what I like to do I sit in the middle.
- 14:52Speaker 4: I watched the They're hanging on his every word JD
- 14:55Speaker 4: like you could hear a mouse pee on a cotton
- 14:57Speaker 4: ball at fifty feet during one of Tom's present because
- 15:01Speaker 4: they are all dialed in. But here's the key of
- 15:04Speaker 4: why I back up my claim of life saving. So
- 15:07Speaker 4: at the end, a bunch of kids rush the stage
- 15:10Speaker 4: with Murphy and they all want to have their picture
- 15:13Speaker 4: taken with the mister muscleman Mma fighters so and then
- 15:19Speaker 4: right game on and then if you're if you're and
- 15:23Speaker 4: I like to stand way back I don't want to
- 15:25Speaker 4: be any part of that. I just want to watch.
- 15:27Speaker 4: And if you're watching intently, you'll see one, two, three
- 15:30Speaker 4: kids off to the side. They don't have smiles on
- 15:34Speaker 4: their faces, right. They're not going up to take a
- 15:37Speaker 4: picture with the MMA fighter. They want to go have
- 15:40Speaker 4: a conversation because something Tom has said has struck with
- 15:43Speaker 4: them incredibly at a level that they've never heard before.
- 15:51Speaker 4: And so what I call I call them the lingerers.
- 15:55Speaker 4: They wait for all the fanfare to go away, and
- 15:59Speaker 4: then they very very politely and quietly, and one on
- 16:03Speaker 4: one they walk up and they tell Tom the story. Now,
- 16:06Speaker 4: at this point, I've given them all the privacy in
- 16:09Speaker 4: the world that I'm at the complete other end, the
- 16:12Speaker 4: farthest I can be away from that auditorium, because I
- 16:15Speaker 4: want that interaction to happen, and that's where Tom hears stories. Like,
- 16:21Speaker 4: mister Murphy, I was planning on killing myself after school today.
- 16:27Speaker 4: Your presentation made me rethink that there is hope. I mean,
- 16:32Speaker 4: it's absolutely incredible, and why you wouldn't want this in
- 16:37Speaker 4: your school is beyond me.
- 16:39Speaker 2: Yeah, and you and I are going to have a
- 16:42Speaker 2: conversation about that in just a little bit here, and
- 16:46Speaker 2: I want to ask you more about that. But Jay,
- 16:49Speaker 2: we've had several teen suicides in our communities over the
- 16:59Speaker 2: last year. And when I say our communities we're talking,
- 17:10Speaker 2: I'm what I'm referencing is from Rutland right up here
- 17:15Speaker 2: into central Vermont, including one last week seventh grader at
- 17:27Speaker 2: one of our local schools just down the road here,
- 17:35Speaker 2: a school that I have been trying very hard, at
- 17:45Speaker 2: least on Wednesday mornings while I'm on the air, to
- 17:49Speaker 2: get Sweethearts and Heroes into that school, not just Berry
- 17:57Speaker 2: City Middle and Elementary School, but also Barry Town School
- 18:01Speaker 2: and Spaulding High School. It has yet to happen. I've
- 18:08Speaker 2: reached out to Tom about this, and Tom is Tom
- 18:16Speaker 2: doesn't like to go and try to push his stuff
- 18:22Speaker 2: onto a school, but rather respectfully wait for them to
- 18:30Speaker 2: reach out to him first. They've got to they've got
- 18:35Speaker 2: to get a sample of what Sweethearts and Heroes does,
- 18:40Speaker 2: who they are, what they do, and just in the
- 18:45Speaker 2: name Sweethearts and Heroes doesn't doesn't give a clear definition
- 18:51Speaker 2: of what it is. There's a little bit of a
- 18:56Speaker 2: barrier I think that needs to be penetrated here, and
- 18:59Speaker 2: I don't know if you have any advice or any
- 19:03Speaker 2: suggestions to our local superintendent, school administrators, teachers, parents, what
- 19:11Speaker 2: has to happen.
- 19:14Speaker 4: Yeah, I think in some respects with me going to
- 19:19Speaker 4: school board meetings unannounced in certain cases probably had the
- 19:24Speaker 4: opposite effect of what I was hoping for, because I
- 19:27Speaker 4: know a lot of folks in that level of management
- 19:31Speaker 4: don't like it being, you know, told what to do
- 19:34Speaker 4: or told what's a good idea they got to come
- 19:36Speaker 4: from them. So I really backed off on that strategy
- 19:40Speaker 4: and try to utilize other strategies of getting Tom into
- 19:46Speaker 4: schools or businesses. And in fact, you guys have probably
- 19:49Speaker 4: spoke about it at great length about how Chevrolet has
- 19:52Speaker 4: stepped up to the plate. Yeah, so one of the first, one.
- 19:55Speaker 2: Of the first reasons, and you were you were a
- 19:57Speaker 2: huge part of that.
- 19:59Speaker 4: I was a small part of that. I probably had
- 20:04Speaker 4: one of the more difficult parts, which was calling the
- 20:07Speaker 4: schools to let them know that Chevrolet has sponsored Sweethearts
- 20:10Speaker 4: and hero in their school and so they just got
- 20:13Speaker 4: a many thousand dollars grant to do this, because that
- 20:18Speaker 4: was the first objection that schools always say is, you know,
- 20:22Speaker 4: we don't have the money for that, and then, so
- 20:24Speaker 4: we removed that barrier to entry by having Chevy step
- 20:28Speaker 4: up and pay for it. And even then, you'd be surprised, JD,
- 20:31Speaker 4: the number of people that said thanks and no thanks,
- 20:34Speaker 4: And even I got hung up on a few times,
- 20:37Speaker 4: which you know, for me as a business development guy,
- 20:40Speaker 4: I accepted as a challenge more than a no. So
- 20:44Speaker 4: and I'll have that person that did hang up on me,
- 20:47Speaker 4: I did win her over in the end.
- 20:49Speaker 2: Wow, I love that. It's fantastic.
- 20:52Speaker 4: You know.
- 20:53Speaker 2: I don't know how long Sweethearts and Heroes has brought
- 20:59Speaker 2: in praded and brought in the circle experience into the schools,
- 21:08Speaker 2: but it is probably one of the biggest things that
- 21:13Speaker 2: they're hanging their hat on right now. What in your opinion,
- 21:18Speaker 2: in your your your vision, what is circle trainings? And
- 21:23Speaker 2: I know that you've you've been trained. You actually took
- 21:26Speaker 2: some time off from your vacation to get trained in circle.
- 21:31Speaker 4: What is that? So the lead up to that, JD
- 21:37Speaker 4: is here. I am a giant fan of Tom's feature presentation.
- 21:43Speaker 4: And then he tells me one day, you know, we've
- 21:46Speaker 4: had the circle discussion. And then he tells me one day,
- 21:49Speaker 4: if push came to shove and I never did another
- 21:52Speaker 4: feature presentation. I think circle training is even more meaningful
- 21:59Speaker 4: than the feature presentation. Now, the feature presentation is still
- 22:03Speaker 4: phenomenally good, but maybe it would help. I don't know.
- 22:07Speaker 4: Did you ever hear the origination of how Tom really
- 22:11Speaker 4: invented circle training?
- 22:12Speaker 2: I have not.
- 22:14Speaker 4: And there's a couple of little spokes off this wagon wheel,
- 22:18Speaker 4: and I'll try to be as brief as I can,
- 22:20Speaker 4: but succinct. I went and did a circle training with
- 22:24Speaker 4: an organization near me, and one of the ladies at
- 22:29Speaker 4: the organization was a teacher, and when she heard circle,
- 22:32Speaker 4: her eyes rolled and I could see her body language.
- 22:35Speaker 4: She had checked out because there are other people doing
- 22:38Speaker 4: circles and it has nothing to do with a Tom
- 22:41Speaker 4: Murphy circle training. And at the end of the full
- 22:45Speaker 4: day training, she came up to me and confessed, you know,
- 22:48Speaker 4: I rolled my eyes and this was nothing like what
- 22:50Speaker 4: it was supposed to be. Now, Murphy's circle training started many,
- 22:55Speaker 4: many years ago, probably fifteen years ago, when he was
- 22:58Speaker 4: going into schools. He'd go do his future presentation and
- 23:01Speaker 4: the principal superintendent said thanks for coming, see you later,
- 23:04Speaker 4: and Tom's like, no, you paid for the day, and
- 23:07Speaker 4: they're like oh, I don't know what to do. And
- 23:09Speaker 4: then one day a principal took him up on it
- 23:13Speaker 4: and said, hey, I need you to talk to the
- 23:16Speaker 4: cheerleaders because there's a situation going on right now. They're
- 23:20Speaker 4: not feeling great. So he goes and meets with the
- 23:23Speaker 4: cheerleaders and they confess on how they're angry and annoyed
- 23:29Speaker 4: and insulted that the football team has been talking smack
- 23:32Speaker 4: about them and not treating them appropriately. And they go
- 23:36Speaker 4: to the games for the football kids, the players, and
- 23:39Speaker 4: they're like, look, we're here for you. Why are you
- 23:41Speaker 4: giving us flack on this? So Tom goes back to
- 23:45Speaker 4: the principal and says, hey, I need to talk to
- 23:46Speaker 4: the football team next. And the Principal's like, wow, you
- 23:49Speaker 4: know whatever. So he meets with the football players explains
- 23:52Speaker 4: the situations. Football teams are mortified that the girls are
- 23:57Speaker 4: insulted and angry. They thought they were being charged me
- 24:00Speaker 4: and you know, dumb boy Q. So you know what
- 24:03Speaker 4: those the football team does at the next I'm geting
- 24:08Speaker 4: joked up. And this was fifteen years ago. At the
- 24:10Speaker 4: next football game, they have the girls run through the
- 24:13Speaker 4: tunnel of the tape. Whoa football team goes out and
- 24:16Speaker 4: does a cheer for the cheerleaders to set the record straight.
- 24:23Speaker 4: Those kids were locked like that for the rest. They're
- 24:26Speaker 4: probably best friends today and I'm sure half of them
- 24:30Speaker 4: have are married with children and they still because of
- 24:33Speaker 4: that moment in high school. And that's kind of how
- 24:36Speaker 4: Tom's circle kind of got invented, is talking to these
- 24:39Speaker 4: kids and when he sat them down in a small
- 24:42Speaker 4: group where everybody has to say, there's no hierarchy, there's
- 24:46Speaker 4: no boss, there's no student, everybody's equal, everybody's respected. You
- 24:50Speaker 4: pass the talking stick around the circle, and you can't
- 24:53Speaker 4: talk until you have the talking stick. And with most
- 24:57Speaker 4: groups there's always a higher influencer and a shire kid.
- 25:01Speaker 4: But when you remove that and level the playing field
- 25:04Speaker 4: and everybody gets to talk uninterrupted, you can't say boom
- 25:08Speaker 4: unless you have the stick. Now you're forced to listen
- 25:13Speaker 4: to hear, and not just waiting for your turn to
- 25:16Speaker 4: say something without listening. And that was a game changer
- 25:21Speaker 4: for sweethearts and heroes.
- 25:24Speaker 2: What a story that is. I I'm so glad you
- 25:27Speaker 2: shared that. You know, what it's about is just making
- 25:33Speaker 2: sure that, like you said, we're all on a level
- 25:36Speaker 2: playing field here. It's just basic communication. And when we
- 25:40Speaker 2: don't have it, things break down quickly. There's assumptions, there's misunderstandings,
- 25:45Speaker 2: we get feelings involved. And that was destroyed. All of
- 25:51Speaker 2: that was destroyed. Tom kind of organically put everything in
- 25:56Speaker 2: place to make sure that it ended.
- 26:01Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, pretty amazing stuff.
- 26:04Speaker 2: Wow.
- 26:06Speaker 4: And so and you know Murphy that he doesn't just
- 26:08Speaker 4: take a good idea and run with it. He continues
- 26:11Speaker 4: to research and research and research. And the guy reads
- 26:14Speaker 4: I think one hundred books a year, books on tape
- 26:17Speaker 4: because he spends so much time behind the wheel traveling
- 26:19Speaker 4: from school to school.
- 26:21Speaker 2: Yeah, he has.
- 26:22Speaker 4: Science upon science upon I'm sure someday somebody is going
- 26:27Speaker 4: to some college is going to give him an honorary
- 26:30Speaker 4: doctorate for his work on psychology and how the mind
- 26:35Speaker 4: works someday, because he's his education, self taught, I think
- 26:40Speaker 4: is greater than anyone that has gotten there, my master's
- 26:45Speaker 4: or a doctor.
- 26:46Speaker 2: In that environment, Murphy in the car for a couple
- 26:50Speaker 2: of hours when he's got the time to kill and
- 26:53Speaker 2: he's on the phone with you.
- 26:56Speaker 4: He is.
- 26:58Speaker 2: Not always the east Is experience, but man, he is
- 27:05Speaker 2: just I mean, I've never I've never not had a
- 27:09Speaker 2: conversation with Tom that has inspired me to do more,
- 27:16Speaker 2: do better. And there's something really powerful about that guy.
- 27:20Speaker 2: The things that he says tend to crawl around in
- 27:25Speaker 2: my head not just for the rest of the day,
- 27:26Speaker 2: but for the rest of the week. And I don't
- 27:30Speaker 2: know about you, but man, I'm I'm a paper guy,
- 27:35Speaker 2: and when I've been on the phone with Tom, I'm
- 27:38Speaker 2: off and pulling over and finding something to scribble on
- 27:42Speaker 2: the name of some book or some quote that he's got.
- 27:47Speaker 2: You're not in your head, You've done the same thing,
- 27:50Speaker 2: I'm guessing.
- 27:51Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's where I get most of my books
- 27:54Speaker 4: on tape. Ideas to listen to is from something that
- 27:57Speaker 4: he's said. Yeah, it's almost like talking to an AI
- 28:03Speaker 4: bought about you know, whatever that topic is. He's so
- 28:07Speaker 4: he's researched it at such depth and he knows which
- 28:11Speaker 4: parts are relevant to whatever the conversation or the issue are.
- 28:15Speaker 2: The answer I got to ask him in what was
- 28:18Speaker 2: the magic pill for you in losing fifty pounds?
- 28:28Speaker 4: It's it's again right in with that psychological realm. So
- 28:36Speaker 4: I have a at the bank. I host a bunch
- 28:39Speaker 4: of educational seminars and most of them are business related,
- 28:42Speaker 4: and some are just good for the community, you know,
- 28:45Speaker 4: just for example. You know, they're not all self serving, right,
- 28:47Speaker 4: So we've done women's only self defense, you know. Once
- 28:51Speaker 4: I got to do with banking absolutely nothing, but it's
- 28:53Speaker 4: good for the community. So my bank supports all of
- 28:56Speaker 4: that stuff. I have Murphy come in January fourth or
- 29:01Speaker 4: fifth to do instead of doing a New Year's resolution.
- 29:05Speaker 4: In this case, it did ended up by weight loss,
- 29:09Speaker 4: but it was engineered as goal setting. So if you
- 29:13Speaker 4: can imagine knowing Tom the way you know Tom, if
- 29:16Speaker 4: you went to a goal setting workshop with him. It
- 29:20Speaker 4: was the largest workshop we've ever hosted here at the bank.
- 29:25Speaker 4: We've got a conference room or a meeting room upstairs
- 29:27Speaker 4: that can seat one hundred people. We had one hundred people.
- 29:32Speaker 4: My largest crowd next to that was sixty five. So
- 29:36Speaker 4: just to give you some perspective of his draw on
- 29:39Speaker 4: that topic and on Tom Murphy, So within that he
- 29:42Speaker 4: goes through all the science of how your brain works
- 29:44Speaker 4: and what it does and what it doesn't do, and
- 29:45Speaker 4: then he says, if you're really serious about something, you
- 29:47Speaker 4: can set a goal, and I got a pretty good
- 29:50Speaker 4: way to make sure that you achieved that and so
- 29:53Speaker 4: I raised my hand and said, hey, I'm gaming. He says,
- 29:55Speaker 4: what's your goal? I said, I want to lose fifty pounds.
- 29:58Speaker 4: So what it is. It's called the Ulysses Challenge. And
- 30:03Speaker 4: there's a nice story about that and that I won't
- 30:07Speaker 4: go into detail because I think it'll take away for
- 30:09Speaker 4: I don't know it as well to tell it well enough.
- 30:12Speaker 4: But essentially I'll give you what happens and you'll figure
- 30:15Speaker 4: out the power behind it. And Rick actually did this
- 30:21Speaker 4: prior to me. And essentially what it is is you
- 30:25Speaker 4: make a bet, and you're in charge of the bet,
- 30:28Speaker 4: and you pick a punishment that you absolutely do not
- 30:35Speaker 4: want to do, and then but you're in control of it.
- 30:39Speaker 4: So my punishment was I didn't want to donate to
- 30:42Speaker 4: a particular party of politics, so I wrote a check
- 30:47Speaker 4: to this particular politician that I want nothing to do with.
- 30:51Speaker 4: And I'm opposite him.
- 30:52Speaker 2: This is going way below the belt here, Jay.
- 30:56Speaker 4: But what Murphy says, are you are you serious about
- 31:00Speaker 4: doing it or just talking? So I write, I think
- 31:03Speaker 4: it was a thousand dollars check to this politician, and
- 31:06Speaker 4: I hand it to Murphy and he puts it in
- 31:08Speaker 4: an envelope and there's no stamp on it, and it
- 31:12Speaker 4: basically says, Jay, if you don't lose fifty pounds by
- 31:17Speaker 4: May first, the envelope goes in the mail. So, needless
- 31:23Speaker 4: to say, I was motivated. Wow. And so what it
- 31:27Speaker 4: did is it put everything that I stuffed in my
- 31:29Speaker 4: pie hole in the front of my mind instead of
- 31:33Speaker 4: later on. And my analogy for simplicity examples is every
- 31:41Speaker 4: time I go to the grocery store, I don't think
- 31:43Speaker 4: about my recycled, my reusable grocery totes until i'm I
- 31:48Speaker 4: got my items on the belt and I need the
- 31:52Speaker 4: bag then and I'm like, damn, I left him in
- 31:54Speaker 4: the car. And that's how my life was around eating
- 31:58Speaker 4: is after I eat, it is when I want to
- 32:01Speaker 4: stop eating and loose weight. So I had to put
- 32:04Speaker 4: it at the front of the transaction and not at
- 32:07Speaker 4: the end. And I'll tell you what, it worked beautifully
- 32:11Speaker 4: and I exceeded the goal just to be sure, and
- 32:14Speaker 4: it was a lot of fun.
- 32:16Speaker 2: You exceeded the goal, Yeah, how many pounds you lose?
- 32:21Speaker 4: Well, actually, I think the goal was twenty five or
- 32:24Speaker 4: thirty and I ended up doing fifty.
- 32:27Speaker 2: Keeping it off.
- 32:30Speaker 4: I'm sad to say no it.
- 32:32Speaker 2: Should have been another check written.
- 32:36Speaker 4: I think it only works once.
- 32:40Speaker 2: Listen, but it did.
- 32:43Speaker 4: You know, you learn a lot mentally too, And I
- 32:46Speaker 4: did keep it off for quite a while. I really
- 32:49Speaker 4: got back into sports, and so while while some of
- 32:52Speaker 4: the weight did creep back on, not all of it.
- 32:56Speaker 4: You know, I am very, very active and fairly healthy
- 33:00Speaker 4: for the ripe old age of sixty two.
- 33:04Speaker 2: I want I want to ask you Jay, what you're
- 33:08Speaker 2: saying to it. And I want to get back to
- 33:11Speaker 2: this a little bit. We we touched on it briefly,
- 33:14Speaker 2: but I want to kind of hammer on this a
- 33:16Speaker 2: little bit more. And I'm getting a message here. It's
- 33:23Speaker 2: back to UH, the the mental health of all of us,
- 33:30Speaker 2: but especially our youth. It's not just here in Central
- 33:38Speaker 2: Vermont where we've had some some really devastating experiences lately,
- 33:49Speaker 2: UH with with regard to suicide. There's so many other
- 33:53Speaker 2: communities here and Vermont, far beyond our borders. What do
- 34:00Speaker 2: you say to an administrator, a superintendent, the decision makers
- 34:13Speaker 2: that haven't yet discovered sweethearts and heroes if you could
- 34:21Speaker 2: speak to them right now, or or parents that are
- 34:25Speaker 2: not familiar with what sweethearts and Heroes is this. This
- 34:30Speaker 2: is an organization that's now so massive, and it's rooted.
- 34:33Speaker 2: It started right here and from up in St Albans
- 34:37Speaker 2: where you are right now. But what do you say
- 34:40Speaker 2: to these decision makers who are not familiar yet with
- 34:45Speaker 2: sweethearts and heroes, And if they become familiar, we all
- 34:51Speaker 2: look for ways and reasons why we can't do something,
- 34:56Speaker 2: why we're hesitant to incorporate something new into our lives,
- 35:02Speaker 2: into our schools. What do you say?
- 35:07Speaker 4: So for me, as a person in sales, I try
- 35:13Speaker 4: to do some critical observation to try to identify real
- 35:19Speaker 4: where that person's objective or objection is. In some cases,
- 35:25Speaker 4: if it's money or they're questioning the value, I will
- 35:29Speaker 4: tell the administrator. If it's not everything I've promised it
- 35:32Speaker 4: to be, I will buy it back from you, so
- 35:35Speaker 4: it's money back guarantee. So if money is the objection,
- 35:38Speaker 4: we can get rid of that. The rest of them,
- 35:43Speaker 4: I think it's like trying to get a haircut over
- 35:45Speaker 4: the phone. I can explain what it is, but until
- 35:49Speaker 4: you see it for the first time, you really don't
- 35:53Speaker 4: have any idea what it is. And I think some
- 35:56Speaker 4: of my best conversions in that space is and it
- 36:02Speaker 4: seems very basic, but I think it's probably the most powerful.
- 36:05Speaker 4: One is get a school official to talk to another
- 36:09Speaker 4: school official who has seen it. So again, similar to
- 36:13Speaker 4: what I did when I got on board and I
- 36:15Speaker 4: loved it. I had my wife, the expert, go see
- 36:17Speaker 4: it and is it everything I think it is. I
- 36:21Speaker 4: have teachers and principals speak to other teachers and principles
- 36:25Speaker 4: and other districts that have had the presentation there, and
- 36:29Speaker 4: they speak the language. You know.
- 36:35Speaker 2: I have to say this because it's I'm feeling it
- 36:40Speaker 2: right now and unfiltered here. I just there's part of
- 36:47Speaker 2: me that feels strongly that the suicide of this young lady,
- 36:57Speaker 2: this seventh grader here in self from aunt could have been,
- 37:04Speaker 2: would have been, would have been prevented if sweethearts and
- 37:15Speaker 2: heroes had the chance to get into that school and
- 37:22Speaker 2: try to make a difference in the lives of all
- 37:27Speaker 2: of the kids.
- 37:29Speaker 4: And now.
- 37:32Speaker 2: It's in after the fact. Now we're into damage control.
- 37:42Speaker 2: We have Washington County Mental Health in the school trying
- 37:47Speaker 2: to help as much as possible, and we're just trying
- 37:52Speaker 2: to We're trying to help everyone, but everybody's hurting, adults, kids, everyone,
- 38:01Speaker 2: and our whole community is man, it's it's just you know.
- 38:07Speaker 2: And and the thing about Sweethearts and Heroes is and
- 38:09Speaker 2: they tailor there as you well know, their presentations for
- 38:14Speaker 2: all different age groups, all different grades. They do bully drills,
- 38:21Speaker 2: they have fun with the kids, they turn them into superheroes.
- 38:26Speaker 2: There's some really fundamental, profound things that are happening that
- 38:35Speaker 2: some of the kids don't even realize what they're learning,
- 38:38Speaker 2: which is really beautiful things, wonderful things, not just how
- 38:42Speaker 2: to go about their day in school, but how to
- 38:47Speaker 2: go about their their lives outside of school during the
- 38:50Speaker 2: summer and as they get older. But I just feel like,
- 38:57Speaker 2: if given the opportunity, Sweethearts and Heroes really could have
- 39:04Speaker 2: potentially prevented this from from happening.
- 39:11Speaker 4: Yeah, you know, early on when those types of situations happened, JD,
- 39:16Speaker 4: I kind of had that same mindset because a lot
- 39:21Speaker 4: of people are you know, there's issues and you want
- 39:24Speaker 4: to fix them, you want to help and stuff. And
- 39:28Speaker 4: this is just so I can't possibly imagine what those
- 39:32Speaker 4: parents are going through right now. And my heart absolutely
- 39:36Speaker 4: pours out to them and the family and the close
- 39:38Speaker 4: friends of that situation and all I can really say
- 39:42Speaker 4: is you know, maybe it would have and maybe it
- 39:45Speaker 4: wouldn't have. But my mentality of how I fix things
- 39:49Speaker 4: is kind of like the great one Gretzky that says
- 39:54Speaker 4: I missed one hundred percent of the shots I never took.
- 39:58Speaker 4: So I had you done everything you could and it
- 40:02Speaker 4: still happened. It's an absolutely horrific thing. And then you
- 40:06Speaker 4: ask yourself what more could I have done? And if
- 40:08Speaker 4: the answer is I did everything, then you know, at
- 40:12Speaker 4: least you can put your head on the pillow that
- 40:14Speaker 4: night and and not say I wish I had done
- 40:16Speaker 4: something else. I do know it helps, I know helps tremendously.
- 40:21Speaker 4: Because Tom also has a way of speaking to the
- 40:23Speaker 4: kids so openly and honestly and directly in a way
- 40:27Speaker 4: that they've never been spoken to before. And that's why
- 40:31Speaker 4: I made the comment of the kids hanging on his
- 40:35Speaker 4: every word, because kids know when when things are being uh,
- 40:39Speaker 4: you know, polished up and made you know, politically correct,
- 40:43Speaker 4: and and and and and you know a lot of
- 40:46Speaker 4: makeup on it. And then you got Tom Murphy coming
- 40:48Speaker 4: in and straight up this is it, and he shines
- 40:52Speaker 4: the light on what it is and how it's it's
- 40:55Speaker 4: it's he doesn't even like calling it a bully pre
- 40:58Speaker 4: prevention presentation by stand or empowerment.
- 41:01Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and it's it's.
- 41:05Speaker 4: Just it's just a phenomenal thing to see.
- 41:09Speaker 2: You know, we all have opinions about what are the
- 41:13Speaker 2: most important things that we need to learn. We need
- 41:18Speaker 2: to learn how to swim. We need to learn how
- 41:23Speaker 2: to speak our native tongue. We need to learn how
- 41:28Speaker 2: to speak English. We need to learn basic rules. We
- 41:33Speaker 2: need to learn how to be better parents. There's all
- 41:36Speaker 2: super super important things that we all have opinions we
- 41:41Speaker 2: need to It's more important than anything else to learn
- 41:45Speaker 2: how to learn self defense, more than anything, but learning
- 41:52Speaker 2: how to connect with others. Relatability is probably one of
- 42:01Speaker 2: the most powerful things that we can all possess. Communication, connectivity,
- 42:10Speaker 2: get on the same level, Be a good person to
- 42:14Speaker 2: someone else, no matter if you're in kindergarten or if
- 42:20Speaker 2: you're an adult. Just be better, do more, watch out
- 42:26Speaker 2: for other human beings. But you know, it's like, look
- 42:32Speaker 2: at what's happening right now with our culture. It's the
- 42:36Speaker 2: turn the cheek mentality. Don't get involved. It's none of
- 42:40Speaker 2: your damn business, and that's poisoning us.
- 42:46Speaker 4: Jay agreed, but you were that the first part of
- 42:53Speaker 4: that last statement. You described circle training to a t,
- 42:59Speaker 4: and it allows ten twelve people, It works with fourth graders,
- 43:06Speaker 4: it works with forteen fifty year olds to sit in
- 43:08Speaker 4: a circle, take time, have a conversation, get to know
- 43:12Speaker 4: that person on a personal level, and I have to
- 43:15Speaker 4: listen to them, and most likely when you're listening that intently,
- 43:18Speaker 4: you're understanding and then you're building a connection. When I
- 43:22Speaker 4: went over to circle training, when I walked in the
- 43:25Speaker 4: door and there are a few people there there, you know,
- 43:27Speaker 4: there was a couple of people. There is no way
- 43:31Speaker 4: you and I would ever have a conversation outside of
- 43:33Speaker 4: this room. But then after listening to them for two days,
- 43:39Speaker 4: you know, I went up and gave them a hug
- 43:41Speaker 4: and I understood them at their level. And you know,
- 43:45Speaker 4: we're all just a bunch of humans trying to do
- 43:47Speaker 4: the best we can. And I do believe that for
- 43:49Speaker 4: the most part, when everybody walks in the door where
- 43:53Speaker 4: they work, they do have the intent to do the
- 43:55Speaker 4: best job they can. But the as you pointed out
- 44:00Speaker 4: so specifically, that that ability to connect to each other,
- 44:04Speaker 4: you know, unfiltered, unobstructed, is has waned in our lives
- 44:09Speaker 4: and you know these things aren't helping much.
- 44:12Speaker 2: Yeah yeah. Sweethearts and Heroes dot com that's the the
- 44:19Speaker 2: go to. I've got the the site here in the
- 44:22Speaker 2: comments section. All you have to do is click on it.
- 44:27Speaker 2: And you know, maybe even you know, we say, Jay
- 44:33Speaker 2: writes your legislator, right, you're superintendent. Send them an email,
- 44:48Speaker 2: put the put the link for Sweethearts and Heroes in it.
- 44:53Speaker 2: Get them, send them the link to you and I
- 44:57Speaker 2: talking right now, Jay. Sure, every Weddy, every every single Wednesday,
- 45:05Speaker 2: we devote the airwaves right here. It aired out to
- 45:12Speaker 2: the message behind Sweethearts and Heroes. There's a there's a
- 45:18Speaker 2: lot of crap in the world, Jay, a lot. All
- 45:22Speaker 2: you gotta do, and you just showed your cell phone.
- 45:25Speaker 2: All you have to do is turn that thing on
- 45:28Speaker 2: and it's right there in front of you, no matter
- 45:31Speaker 2: what it is. We've got too many kids, too connected
- 45:35Speaker 2: to too many devices. Unplug. Be a better parent, Get
- 45:43Speaker 2: dialed in with your kids, make plans for the summer,
- 45:48Speaker 2: keep check of their mental health and ask questions.
- 45:58Speaker 4: Amen, brother, Keep keep those kids as active outside as
- 46:01Speaker 4: humanly possible. My kid does a ski, racer, field hockey player.
- 46:06Speaker 4: We do a lot of boating and hiking, and the
- 46:12Speaker 4: more it just seems like the more kids are outside playing,
- 46:15Speaker 4: the less they're on their devices, and the happier they are.
- 46:18Speaker 4: So the every minute is outdoors doing something. I love, sports,
- 46:23Speaker 4: you name it. Yeah, the kids are doing it. They
- 46:26Speaker 4: gotta they have to get out there and do that.
- 46:29Speaker 4: And that does relieve a lot of this anxiety at
- 46:34Speaker 4: that moment that they're out competing or practicing or trying
- 46:36Speaker 4: to learn some skill, riding a bike, yeah, whatever it is.
- 46:42Speaker 2: You know, I say, I say, you know, ask questions,
- 46:47Speaker 2: and it's important to ask questions your kids. How is
- 46:51Speaker 2: your day, what was good about it? What was not
- 46:53Speaker 2: so good about it? I try to do that every
- 46:55Speaker 2: single day, seven days a week with my eleven year
- 46:58Speaker 2: old little girl. But also, and this is the part
- 47:03Speaker 2: that's hard for for me, and my wife is constantly
- 47:07Speaker 2: reminding me, is to ask the important questions, to engage
- 47:11Speaker 2: with your kids. But then zip it and listen and
- 47:18Speaker 2: and and and that's so difficult for us to do. Jay,
- 47:22Speaker 2: I mean, we do that, we're forced to do that
- 47:24Speaker 2: in circle. Oh my god, you know I have with
- 47:28Speaker 2: what I do podcasting, I have so many follow up questions, well,
- 47:34Speaker 2: well what happened? I mean, but just listen to not
- 47:40Speaker 2: just your kids, but just to everybody, whether you agree
- 47:43Speaker 2: with them or not. Just shut up.
- 47:46Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah, it's a It's a skill that is is
- 47:49Speaker 4: fleeting the American public. Is the ability to listen and comprehend. Yeah,
- 47:55Speaker 4: I've I've now that I've gotten older and I'm in
- 47:58Speaker 4: conversation with somebody asked me a question about something, and
- 48:00Speaker 4: I'm a little bit like Murphy is such a curious brain,
- 48:04Speaker 4: and I don't get frustrated. I get fascinated. How does
- 48:07Speaker 4: that work? And how did they figure that out? I
- 48:10Speaker 4: want to know. But you can tell instantly when you're
- 48:12Speaker 4: talking to somebody that isn't a good listener. And I
- 48:17Speaker 4: at sixty two, I just go, you know what, I
- 48:19Speaker 4: don't know how many more years I got for me
- 48:21Speaker 4: on this planet. I'm going to spend my time elsewhere
- 48:23Speaker 4: where it's more valuable. But that's the adults, And like
- 48:27Speaker 4: my wife always says, we have such incredible expectations of
- 48:32Speaker 4: our youth. I'll give you a quick example. I was
- 48:35Speaker 4: at a rotary home show and they asked me to
- 48:38Speaker 4: go speak to the vendors on the night before how
- 48:41Speaker 4: to get the most out of their booth for sales.
- 48:44Speaker 4: And so I went up there and I had a quick,
- 48:46Speaker 4: little fifteen minute pitch that's really pertinent information on there.
- 48:50Speaker 4: And there was one person in the audience that spoke
- 48:53Speaker 4: the entire time JD. People actually left where she was
- 48:59Speaker 4: to get to another spot to hear. And my wife
- 49:02Speaker 4: is like, if that was a fifteen or fourteen or
- 49:05Speaker 4: a twelve year old, the parents would have been over
- 49:07Speaker 4: there correcting that child on the first sentence. Yeah, of course,
- 49:11Speaker 4: not fifteen minutes of talking out loud. Right, So we
- 49:15Speaker 4: have these unrealistic expectations of our youth, but yet the
- 49:18Speaker 4: adults around there exhibiting the absolute worst behavior, and it's excused. Sure,
- 49:25Speaker 4: kids are only going to do what they see, and
- 49:27Speaker 4: they're gonna whatever expectation is managed and demonstrated. Heard.
- 49:33Speaker 2: Nobody heard what she had to say, Jay, Oh nobody.
- 49:38Speaker 4: It was. It was like being in a tent with
- 49:40Speaker 4: a mosquito. But I just to your point of the
- 49:44Speaker 4: listening and the expectation of the kids. I couldn't agree
- 49:48Speaker 4: with you more about the when you talk to you
- 49:50Speaker 4: With my daughter, I every time I put her to
- 49:53Speaker 4: bed to read the book and then I closed the
- 49:55Speaker 4: book and I just shut up in that uncomfortable silence,
- 49:58Speaker 4: and I called that the witch hour, and I could
- 50:02Speaker 4: see the wheels spinning, and I just I never said
- 50:05Speaker 4: a word because she's processing something that happened that day,
- 50:09Speaker 4: and now her mind's calming down and she's just focusing
- 50:11Speaker 4: on that one thing. And sometimes I would lie there
- 50:14Speaker 4: for five, six, seven minutes and then say, hey, Papa,
- 50:18Speaker 4: when blah blah blah blah blah. So now I know
- 50:20Speaker 4: that was on our mind. It was on the mind
- 50:22Speaker 4: all day. Yeah, but she never had a chance to
- 50:24Speaker 4: talk about it. Yeah, And there's so much value in
- 50:29Speaker 4: letting them talk and talk and then you get the
- 50:32Speaker 4: real And my advice for parents is, you know, on
- 50:35Speaker 4: that theme, even the things you think they know, bring
- 50:40Speaker 4: it up. Bring up that topic and the other thing,
- 50:45Speaker 4: I'll tell you that they are listening, even when they
- 50:48Speaker 4: appear that they are not listening. I had so many
- 50:51Speaker 4: of my her friend's parents come back to me and said,
- 50:54Speaker 4: you know your kid is listening to you, And I said, boy,
- 50:57Speaker 4: I don't at this A fifteen sixty really, Oh yeah,
- 51:01Speaker 4: the topic came up and she said this, this, this, this,
- 51:03Speaker 4: I'm like son of a gun. I thought she didn't.
- 51:05Speaker 4: You know, not only was she not listening, she was
- 51:07Speaker 4: annoyed and didn't agree with it. But yet there it is.
- 51:11Speaker 2: Wow, Jaye, what a pleasure it is having you on
- 51:16Speaker 2: the air this morning. I so much appreciate your time.
- 51:20Speaker 2: Our listeners say the same thing. We got some great
- 51:24Speaker 2: comments coming in here, g saying amazing work being done. Yeah,
- 51:33Speaker 2: but a lot more work that needs to be done
- 51:35Speaker 2: for damn sure.
- 51:38Speaker 4: Yeah. And to that other question you asked about trying
- 51:41Speaker 4: to get circle training or sweethearts and heroes, You're really
- 51:45Speaker 4: going to find someone in your community, preferably in the school,
- 51:49Speaker 4: that's gonna champion this for you. So you know, you
- 51:52Speaker 4: might don't think just because you don't have access to
- 51:54Speaker 4: the superintendent that there's not the ability to get sweethearts
- 51:58Speaker 4: and heroes in your school. All at is one teacher
- 52:02Speaker 4: that understands the message, and that teacher can go champion
- 52:06Speaker 4: that and they can get it done. So just keep
- 52:10Speaker 4: talking to people, try to get people to go to presentations.
- 52:13Speaker 4: Tom will let people go in through the school and
- 52:15Speaker 4: sit in the back and watch, and I'll guarantee anybody
- 52:18Speaker 4: out there listening. If you get the opportunity to sit
- 52:21Speaker 4: through one of Tom's feature presentations. I guarantee you will
- 52:26Speaker 4: be blown away. You'll laugh, you'll cry, but you will
- 52:30Speaker 4: not forget. It's been fifteen years since I watched the
- 52:33Speaker 4: first one and I can still hear just about every
- 52:35Speaker 4: word in my head today. Sure, yeah, it's impressive.
- 52:39Speaker 2: I guarantee you too, man. But I mean, all we
- 52:44Speaker 2: can do is chip way at this and feature this
- 52:47Speaker 2: every Wednesday on the air and hope that somebody somewhere
- 52:51Speaker 2: is listening. But man, it is needed. It's not just
- 52:54Speaker 2: needed at Barry City and Barry Town School, It's needed
- 53:00Speaker 2: in all of our schools around here. And huge kudos
- 53:05Speaker 2: this morning. I want to close out with just a big,
- 53:10Speaker 2: big tip of the hat to the North Country Chevy
- 53:14Speaker 2: dealers who are writ in checks to get sweethearts and
- 53:21Speaker 2: heroes into countless schools. Not just hearing fromont all over
- 53:28Speaker 2: They're all over the place, yeap. Look at what's happening
- 53:32Speaker 2: over in New York and the other side of the pond, crazy,
- 53:36Speaker 2: the old Champlain Valley, great.
- 53:40Speaker 4: Stuff, amazing is yeah. Well, I appreciate you having me
- 53:45Speaker 4: on here, JD. It's been absolutely my pleasure and privilege
- 53:49Speaker 4: to share my morning with you, and you know, I
- 53:53Speaker 4: gotta tell you, j D, my day started perfectly. I
- 53:58Speaker 4: got to wake up you what I have the best
- 54:01Speaker 4: days when that happens. I even set a record twenty two,
- 54:05Speaker 4: six hundred and fifty consecutive days. I got to do that.
- 54:13Speaker 2: I love that. Man. Every single day you got a
- 54:18Speaker 2: clean slate, You got an opportunity to do something, something
- 54:23Speaker 2: positive for your life or someone else's. Yeah, I love it, man, Joe.
- 54:29Speaker 4: Wait, tomorrow has not promised to anybody.
- 54:31Speaker 2: So now let's go to do something.
- 54:33Speaker 4: Do it today?
- 54:34Speaker 2: Please, please return. I would love to have you back
- 54:39Speaker 2: on aired out. I hope to meet you someday. But Jay,
- 54:43Speaker 2: absolute absolute pleasure.
- 54:45Speaker 4: Thank you so much, my pleasure, and thank you for
- 54:50Speaker 4: everything you do. JD. I'm sure you're making an incredible
- 54:53Speaker 4: impact with your audience and everybody in your area. So
- 54:57Speaker 4: thank you again.
- 54:58Speaker 2: Thank you brother. Be in touch with your real soon.
- 55:01Speaker 2: You bet you all right, Jay Cummings right there, VP
- 55:06Speaker 2: of Business Development over a People's Trust. Incredible. Listen, we
- 55:13Speaker 2: have much more to talk about. There is so much
- 55:18Speaker 2: going on here in Central Vermont. I'm aware of it.
- 55:22Speaker 2: I know I'm reading, I'm seeing what's happening. Take a
- 55:28Speaker 2: deep breath. Take a deep breath, and we'll get through
- 55:32Speaker 2: it together Tomorrow morning. I've got a guest that is
- 55:40Speaker 2: on standby and I'm not sure if this is going
- 55:43Speaker 2: to happen. I'm trying to get him in here. We
- 55:46Speaker 2: will see. I'm doing the best I can, and it
- 55:53Speaker 2: is a gentleman who is going to be competing in
- 55:57Speaker 2: the special Olympics national competition coming up real soon. I'm
- 56:06Speaker 2: pulling the strings. I'm working it. Hopefully I'll be able
- 56:09Speaker 2: to get them on the air tomorrow morning. I will
- 56:13Speaker 2: let you know, I promise. And Friday, what's going to happen?
- 56:23Speaker 2: The fingers crossed. I'm knocking on wood right now that
- 56:29Speaker 2: my buddy G is going to be in here blowing
- 56:34Speaker 2: the top off this place. I have some things to
- 56:38Speaker 2: talk with G about on the air and off the air,
- 56:42Speaker 2: and some of the things that I want to talk
- 56:44Speaker 2: with them off the air about might possibly be conversations
- 56:51Speaker 2: that we have on the air. It is going to
- 56:53Speaker 2: be extremely unrehearsed, filtered on Friday morning, as it always is.
- 57:05Speaker 2: Have a fantastic rest of your day, and thank you
- 57:12Speaker 2: to all of our sponsors presenting and supporting here in
- 57:19Speaker 2: the aired out podcast that give me the opportunity to
- 57:24Speaker 2: get in here every morning and share my day with you.
- 57:28Speaker 2: Start my day with you here in the aired out
- 57:30Speaker 2: podcasts
- 58:00Speaker 1: Tress Think but Don't Do, don't do but don't don't
- 58:12Speaker 1: think to think, Tom do