Latest / RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way / Ep. 3 – Overcoming Self-Doubt

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Ep. 3 – Overcoming Self-Doubt · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcasts or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Rise Up.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_01: Live Joy Your Way with Comedy Wood.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's time to step into your power.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: Today I wanted to talk about the topic of overcoming self-doubt.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_00: Self-doubt can hold us back from reaching the goals and seizing different opportunities that are present in our life.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: And it's when we have this pervasive inner voice that tells us that we are not capable of doing something or that we're not skilled enough to accomplish the goals that we end up holding ourselves back and not trying to push ourselves to move forward in ways that ultimately we would ideally want to go.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I know as a parent, uh self-doubt creeps in all the time because when we first become a parent, uh we have all of these hopes and dreams for our child, and yet there's no manual on how to be a good parent.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so you almost feel like you're winging it on a daily basis.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I know for me as a mom, I have often felt like I'm not sure that what I'm doing is the right thing to do.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: And then I think about my oldest daughter, for instance, and the fact that she is striving to enter the professional dance world as a ballerina, and I'm watching her as she's getting ready to audition.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, talk about self-doubt.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because when you are auditioning for these companies, you send off um a video and a resume, and half the time, or even more than half the time, you either don't get a response or you get a no because the companies have certain criteria that they're looking for in their dancers because they're trying to build a core group of dancers at all that they can choreograph and they can get to look as almost one unit.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: So um as the res as the applicant though, you know, as the person who is trying to get a position within a company, you know, you're getting all these no's or you're getting ignored.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um and then of course you do get invited for auditions.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: So the next step once you get audition, uh, once you get invited for an audition is then you go to the audition and you perform at the audition.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And they basically say, Thanks so much for coming, and you'll hear from us in a few months when we know what contracts we have.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And once again, that inner voice can really creep in and can hold you back and can keep you from moving forward, even with your daily life.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so I I'm I'm looking at her and I'm just in awe personally of this young woman sitting in front of me who is really having to anchor into her inner self-confidence and really anchor in into you know her value system and what she cares about, and also practice of you know self-compassion on a daily basis and recognizing all of the things that she is accomplishing, because otherwise that inner voice can seriously take over.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: So, other tips on how to how to overcome this self-doubt and to move forward.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, one is to learn to stop comparing ourselves to other people, which I gotta be honest, in today's day and age is really hard because you know, just with social media in general, you could sit there and um just think that you're passively scrolling through your whatever Facebook feed or your Instagram feed or what have you.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's really easy though to fall into comparison mindset where you see a picture of you know somebody smiling or doing something that looks like a lot of fun or they're you know off on a vacation with their family, and you end up going into this knee-jerk comparison mode of, you know, um, am I not good enough, or you know, oh I wish I could do that, but I don't have the means to do that, or um just they look so happy and they're so accomplished, and I'm not.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's it starts to build up on the you know, you versus them.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so instead of doing that, it's so important to slow down and to um think about your personal strengths, your personal, you know, your assets, your value system again, and and your accomplishments, both big and small.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we slow down and we recognize all that we are, and we don't get caught up in that um, how am I in comparison to this person?
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: And I know I talk about parenting a lot, but you know, when you have five children, it's a topic of of mind, right?
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_00: It happens so many times with moms.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know in general, like I will hear other moms as I'm walking around the lacrosse field or the field hockey field or basketball court.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: I hear them talking and they're like, well, so and so is doing this, and you know, this person's child is doing this, and it's so easy to get caught up in oh, should mine be doing that too?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just learning to recognize, you know, what am I doing well?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Where am I in my world, and being proud of oneself.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_00: Um, so even on that note, the second tip I have is keeping a gratitude journal, you know, really taking the time when we're lacking confidence to sit down and write.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Sit down and write in a journal to keep an actual realistic record of all of your accomplishments and all that you're grateful for and all that you're grateful for within yourself.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a way to remember and to remind yourself of all the positive things in your life as well as all the positive things that you are doing.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: And again, I I use my daughter as an example for this one.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, each win that she has when it comes to auditioning, for instance, is whether it be, you know, a compliment from a director or you know, an there there are so many different tiers of offers that you can get, it's celebrating every single one that comes her way.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, it may not be the penultimate one that she wants to have at XYZ company, but it's something at the company, and that is something to celebrate because for every offer that one young woman is getting, there are so many who didn't even get the invite to the audition, and there's you know, so many who then showed up to the audition and didn't even get that offer, whatever it may be.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: So slowing down and recognizing that these accomplishments that we have on a daily basis and actually keeping a journal so that you can go back and reflect on all of the accomplishments you're having will help slow down and quiet down that inner voice, that inner backseat driver that loves to criticize and loves to tell you how you should fix things.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: Which leads me to my third tip, which is learning not to judge ourselves.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: So often we are our harshest critic.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: As soon as something doesn't go the way that we expected it to go, we start to judge ourselves and we start to put ourselves down for why it didn't go that way.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: Or we immediately jump into fix it mode of, well, that didn't go the way I needed it to go.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm just an idiot.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Let me just try this instead and try to fix it.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Um and and and what it really, in order to help um reduce our self-doubt and overcome that self-doubt, it's recognizing when we're triggered, when when that inner voice, that inner critic, that harsh inner critic is triggered.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Take a deep breath and to slow it down and to keep ourselves from going into judgment phase, going into um sending our subconscious mind these messages that we are not good enough.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_00: And when we have those negative thoughts, I call them automatic negative thoughts or ants.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: When we have those and we recognize our triggers and we recognize that we've been triggered, it's um reframing the thought.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: And it's learning to say, okay, this didn't go the way that I wanted it to go.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: And calling it out for what it is, that that it sucks.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: It really just sucks.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: But then it's learning to say, how else can I look at this?
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Or what did I learn from this?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: You know, what can I take away from this experience, even though it didn't end up the way that I wanted it to end up?
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: What can I take away from it?
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because when we're taking away something positive from an experience, it slows down that inner critic that wants to tell us that we're just not good enough.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And that in and of itself will help start to overcome this concept of self-doubt.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: And then another one that I talk about with my clients a lot when they are feeling um self-critical is um helping others.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when we show up uh to help other people and we volunteer our time, and we can look at the effect that we're having, the positive effect that we're having on other people, and we recognize ourselves for doing that, but we also recognize the um the positive effect that other people are receiving from what we've done and how we've helped.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: That awareness can actually boost your self-appreciation, which in turn will boost your self-confidence and quiet that self-doubt.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And then, of course, you know, there's certain techniques of just um spending a few minutes each day reading or possibly listening to some type of motivational talk or um inspirational quotes.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_00: I will be completely honest.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: I when I find an inspirational quote, I save it to my phone as a photo, as a picture.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because when again, we're triggered with that inner critic and we hear ourselves.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, the the point of some of this is to slow ourselves down and recognize when we're starting to have those automatic negative thoughts about ourselves, or when we when we hear ourselves judging ourselves, those are the moments where what we can do to just get a quick boost is you know, pull up our phone and read some positive or inspirational quotes, or even keep some podcasts on your playlist.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: And when you're having those moments of feeling down and feeling like not and feeling not sure of yourself, going ahead and um listening to those, listening to those inspirational um podcasts and or um you know shows that that you might be able to come come up with that you can keep handy on your phone or keep handy wherever you are.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then the other one is staying physically active.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um that I mean the physical activity is so great in so many areas of self-care, but one of them actually is to help build your your um overcome your self-doubt because when you are active, your brain um gets a boost of the serotonin in those um hormones of happiness, and it in turn increases your um self-confidence, which then in turn helps overcome the self-doubt and keeps that negative uh inner critic quiet.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and then of course, like engaging, figuring out what makes you happy, when are you happiest, and then engaging in those those activities, finding time, finding time to you know go for a walk, be in nature if that's where you find um happiness.
• 12:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's identifying what works for you in terms of making you happy, and when you feel joy, like feel it, not just in your mind, but feel it in the pit of your stomach.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: When that feeling of, oh yes, I feel good, doing more of those activities helps overcome the self-critic.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you can stay in a place of joy more often, your inner critic doesn't really have as loud of a voice.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: And that's part of what we need to do here is we're always gonna have that inner critic.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: We're always gonna have a voice inside ourselves that wants to tell us that we could have done something better.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_00: And the truth is, many times we could have done something better, but part of it is learning to say, well, gee, thanks for showing up, inner critic.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I know I could have done that better, but this is what I learned.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: And it's learning to tame the inner critic, learning to keep it a little quieter so that we're not constantly letting it judge us and constantly letting it increase our self-doubt.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And again, it's celebrating those small wins.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: I say this over and over again, and I will probably say it over and over again in most of these episodes, but it is celebrating our small wins on a daily basis is huge.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_00: It is huge for our um self-confidence, and it is huge for overcoming self-doubt.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: Because, you know, when we go day to day and we're constantly only looking out for those big wins, and we're only willing to celebrate those big wins, we miss out on all the small steps that it takes to even get to that big win.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: And those small steps need to be celebrated, and they need to be celebrated also to remind our inner critic, I've got this.
• 14:35
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be okay.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_00: Even if something doesn't go the way that I wanted it to go the first time, I'm still gonna show up again tomorrow and I'm gonna try again.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: And so it's learning to um again, it's not learning to um silence the inner critic, but it's learning to tame that inner critic, and that helps us overcome self-doubt.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to talk more or want additional support, I welcome you to reach out to me.
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_00: I can you can email me at any time at contact at it'sauthenticme.com or just find me on the internet at www.itsauthenticme.com or I'm on Facebook as well.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_00: Facebook.com slash it's authenticme.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: You can always send me a message there.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Comedy Wood, and I look forward to speaking to you next time.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for listening to Rise Up.
• 15:36
  SPEAKER_01: Always remember your uniqueness and the gift that you bring to this world.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_01: Life happens for you, not to you, I think.