Latest / The Vance Crowe Podcast / VCP: Calm Waters: A Buddhist-Catholic Driver's Lessons on Faith & Family.

Transcript

VCP: Calm Waters: A Buddhist-Catholic Driver's Lessons on Faith & Family. · The Vance Crowe Podcast

• 0:04
  Vance Crowe: Welcome back to the podcast. I'm glad you're here.
• 0:07
  Today, we're gonna have an impromptu podcast.
• 0:10
  This was completely unintentional,
• 0:12
  but I got into an Uber on my way to the airport, and the man that greeted me had a huge smile and was ready to talk. By the time we left my neighborhood, I had pulled out my phone, set it on the console, and hit record
• 0:26
  so that that way I would be able to capture the incredible insight that this man had.
• 0:31
  Our conversation started off by me making an observation
• 0:35
  that he had a crucifix and the picture of a man, looked like a Catholic priest,
• 0:40
  on his window. I asked him about that, and very quickly, the conversation evolved into a conversation about
• 0:47
  Vietnam and the communists and how they had pushed out the Catholics
• 0:51
  and the relationship in a country between Buddhists and Catholics.
• 0:55
  From there, our conversation
• 0:57
  evolves into one of how those values that he'd learned in his countries
• 1:02
  were applied
• 1:03
  to the way he raised his children.
• 1:06
  As the father of young children, I am very open to understanding
• 1:10
  how can you raise your children so that they are happy,
• 1:13
  disciplined,
• 1:14
  have respect for the family, and really can see a bigger picture around them. And from this conversation, I can tell you that in the four days I've had since I recorded it, it has changed the way I've interacted with my kids.
• 1:28
  The things he told me about the stone hitting the water and the ripples that you'll hear in just a little bit, I've already applied to my life and I can tell you has made
• 1:38
  my interaction with my two daughters richer and fuller.
• 1:42
  So I hope you enjoyed this conversation and you're able to look past his deep accent and the amount of background noise because we were in a car. I tried to clean up the audio as much as I could, but this particular podcast is gonna take a little bit of effort on your part.
• 1:58
  But I think you'll find that it's more than worth it because you're going to get to hear how two people from completely different cultures
• 2:06
  can have an in-depth conversation and how much energy can be shared between us no matter how different we are.
• 2:13
  I'm gonna get to that in just a moment. But if you're a person that's thinking about trying to improve your communication skills,
• 2:20
  you wanna be able to have this impromptu conversation
• 2:23
  that leads to more than just conversations about sports or other surface things,
• 2:28
  you wanna deeply understand how to interact with other people,
• 2:32
  then go to vancecrow.com
• 2:34
  and click on the interest based communications course.
• 2:37
  This is a course I developed to help
• 2:39
  logical people figure out how can I express myself better?
• 2:44
  I do this both with individuals that sign up for a class, and I do it for corporations where we can bring in your sales team, your science team, or even your communications team
• 2:54
  to come together and think about how do we get ideas to flow between us and the other people that need to hear them, and how can we make sure that we're available and understanding
• 3:05
  and opening enough
• 3:06
  to understand what they have to say. If you're interested, go to vancecrowe.com
• 3:11
  and look up interest based communications.
• 3:14
  Alright. Let's head to this impromptu conversation
• 3:17
  with mister Thomas Wynne.
• 3:20
  Thomas: Were a lot of other people in the area Buddhists?
• 3:23
  Before 1975.
• 3:25
  Uh-huh.
• 3:26
  Thomas: Okay. But after 1975,
• 3:28
  when companies
• 3:30
  take over South Vietnam,
• 3:31
  no more religion. Catholic, you know, they are not they don't have a religion.
• 3:35
  They don't trust anybody.
• 3:38
  No religion. None religion.
• 3:40
  Thomas: And if you had a cross hanging up in your house, what would they have done?
• 3:44
  Thomas: No. But after 1975,
• 3:46
  you know, they change a lot. They give you freedom.
• 3:50
  You can be a Catholic. You can be a Buddhist, or you can be a Baptist. You can be
• 3:55
  a Methodist. They don't care what the religion do are. They don't care.
• 3:59
  After 1975,
• 4:01
  they changed everything.
• 4:02
  But before that, oh my god. If they know you're Catholic,
• 4:06
  they totally had all I tell you.
• 4:08
  You
• 4:09
  they put the the cross
• 4:11
  Jesus cross on the ground. If you don't step over,
• 4:16
  they cut your head out. I'm sorry to say that, but that's But so what did people do? How did they go did they still go to church in secret or no? No. No. No. Hide. They hide. They pray in the house.
• 4:27
  Thomas: They prayed in their house? Yes. No church. No.
• 4:32
  Thomas: 1945
• 4:34
  to 1954.
• 4:35
  Thomas: So what hap did all of the priests get killed? What happened? Were there other priests that went into hiding and pretended like they weren't priests, or were they all rounded up? No. They just stay in there in the in the building, in the house, you know,
• 4:47
  Thomas: in the Catholic area. But you cannot make the mass in the church. Totally no.
• 4:54
  Thomas: Wow. Totally. How many years was that?
• 4:57
  Thomas: 1945,
• 4:58
  '84. It's nine years.
• 5:00
  Thomas: And when people couldn't be Catholics, so they went to school, did they learn about communism in school? Yes.
• 5:07
  What did they tell you about or what what were they saying about communism? Why was it good? You know, it's,
• 5:15
  Thomas: last time, it's my parent, not my my age. Oh, okay. I am I'm born in 1960.
• 5:20
  Thomas: You know? You got a thick accent, but your English is good. Thank you very much, sir.
• 5:25
  Thomas: I am I born in 1960,
• 5:28
  but 1960
• 5:29
  in a Soviet time visa. I'm not fighting about using the right thing. Freedom.
• 5:34
  Thomas: Was that what The US was the side US was fighting on? Yes.
• 5:38
  Thomas: The US be over there. You know? We have a freedom
• 5:41
  from the time I was born. You know?
• 5:44
  But when my parent,
• 5:46
  little
• 5:47
  kid,
• 5:49
  they they they put a communist in the in in the head.
• 5:52
  They say, don't believe god.
• 5:54
  Don't believe what god don't have a up there. Don't believe them. They lied to your guy. My dad tell me. You know?
• 6:01
  My dad tell me.
• 6:04
  They don't let anybody have a release, I tell you. But after 1954,
• 6:10
  South Vietnam, they devised North Vietnam,
• 6:13
  South Vietnam. You know?
• 6:16
  South Vietnam,
• 6:18
  we have a freedom country.
• 6:20
  I am North Korean and South Korean. You know?
• 6:24
  You think When I was born about five years old, when I
• 6:28
  kindergarten, my my my parent
• 6:31
  sent me go to Catholic school. Oh, you missed the turn. Oh.
• 6:38
  Thomas: You can go straight. You can keep going.
• 6:44
  Keep talking with you. Alright. Yeah. This is very interesting to me.
• 6:47
  When when you were on the
• 6:50
  the
• 6:51
  how many people in Vietnam
• 6:53
  were Catholic? Was it a lot of people, most people, not very many? 40%.
• 6:58
  40%?
• 6:59
  Yeah.
• 7:00
  Thomas: 40%,
• 7:01
  you know, is,
• 7:03
  I'm sorry.
• 7:04
  40% Catholic, 30% Buddhist, and
• 7:08
  10%
• 7:09
  military, 10%,
• 7:12
  Baptist,
• 7:13
  and 10%.
• 7:15
  They don't believe in
• 7:19
  literature. The religion, they believe,
• 7:23
  My country is very tough, I tell you. A lot of religion,
• 7:27
  Catholic, Buddhist,
• 7:28
  Methodist,
• 7:30
  Thomas: and one no name. Do they get along or do they fight?
• 7:34
  Thomas: They get along. They get along?
• 7:37
  Thomas: What what is
• 7:38
  how are Buddhists to be? Do are they the same as you? Are they different in business? I hope I don't make you feel happy. Okay? I'm very interested in hearing the this,
• 7:48
  Thomas: in learning. Please. I tell you,
• 7:52
  I believe put it I'm sorry. More than Catholic.
• 7:57
  Believe me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry to say that. I'm real Catholic. My grandparent Catholic. My parent Catholic,
• 8:04
  and I grow up in a Catholic school. You know?
• 8:08
  But I tell you,
• 8:10
  the Buddhist
• 8:12
  religion, they tell you true life
• 8:16
  true life.
• 8:18
  And what does that mean? It mean when you get back to me, right,
• 8:23
  they are to lead people. They talk back to you. I fight back to you. Right?
• 8:26
  But to put it, they teach you when to get back to tell me, Tom, my name Tom. Tom, you are stupid. You know what the put what the put it reason they say.
• 8:36
  They put their head down,
• 8:38
  and they keep silent.
• 8:40
  They don't talk back to you.
• 8:42
  Thomas: So they're easier to get along with?
• 8:45
  Thomas: No. Serious.
• 8:47
  I from now,
• 8:50
  if I hope god, you know, don't get mad at me,
• 8:53
  but I believe,
• 8:55
  and I follow
• 8:57
  the Buddhist life or the Catholic life. I'm sorry to say that, but but for true.
• 9:02
  Because,
• 9:03
  after I hear some
• 9:06
  Bible from Buddhist, you know,
• 9:08
  they tell they give me
• 9:11
  my soul, my heart come down a lot.
• 9:14
  So I'd say example. Okay? Example.
• 9:17
  Before when I was young,
• 9:19
  I am not go to the Buddhist church. You know? Uh-huh.
• 9:23
  When my wife my kid make my car a dick, I say example.
• 9:30
  When they give me my car,
• 9:33
  I get back at the top of that work. Okay?
• 9:36
  But now
• 9:37
  anything happen,
• 9:39
  I go to my my child and I I read the Bible,
• 9:43
  Buddhist Bible,
• 9:46
  and my heart is come down. My blood come down.
• 9:49
  Thomas: Believe me. So it gives you a way to think about things. Yes.
• 9:56
  Thomas: And one more thing I tell you, look, Catholic,
• 9:59
  I don't like I don't like the people.
• 10:02
  I'm sorry to say that, but I go to the church. Can we just I am not happy about So what don't you like about the people?
• 10:09
  You know what?
• 10:10
  The people go to the church. They just keep talking.
• 10:14
  They talking. Now they do something else. I'm but they look on the phone.
• 10:18
  But you put it church.
• 10:22
  When you go
• 10:24
  Thomas: You're fully immersed.
• 10:26
  Thomas: No. It's all mine. Totally clear.
• 10:28
  Church
• 10:29
  Bible. Put it bio.
• 10:31
  You know?
• 10:32
  You don't talk. You don't use the phone.
• 10:36
  What do they do with children?
• 10:38
  Children the same because they grow up for the kid. They grow up. They they very cool.
• 10:43
  Catholic
• 10:44
  kid,
• 10:45
  very high type
• 10:48
  of talk back with your parent. I'm sorry. Talk back with your parent or talk they fight each other. But the bullied kid,
• 10:56
  today was seen, they fight.
• 10:58
  I tell you.
• 11:00
  They never they they they
• 11:01
  they
• 11:02
  they fight. And you know what? They don't kill any any
• 11:07
  Thomas: But doesn't that make them weak if they don't know how to fight?
• 11:11
  Thomas: No. Don't say that. They are very strong. They have good kung fu. Oh my god. No. Okay.
• 11:17
  That mean they don't fight
• 11:20
  because they don't want to make other people upset them.
• 11:24
  Not today.
• 11:26
  Serious.
• 11:27
  If you like to talk with the new reason,
• 11:31
  you should be better.
• 11:32
  Put it by her.
• 11:34
  You will see how you change.
• 11:36
  You change
• 11:37
  a lot, I tell you.
• 11:39
  You don't get that easy.
• 11:43
  Everything to think that's easy.
• 11:45
  You know what? They are very calm,
• 11:48
  very calm,
• 11:49
  very cool.
• 11:51
  If you see
• 11:55
  kung fu, Chinese kung fu movies
• 11:58
  Yes. You see the people who just like this,
• 12:00
  but they are very strong.
• 12:02
  You take energy from the feet go up the hip. They're quite a fire.
• 12:07
  You know? You kill people easily. If somebody give them trouble.
• 12:11
  Thomas: Do you think an American could be a Buddhist? Because
• 12:15
  the it sounds like you need a culture around you to make that possible.
• 12:22
  Thomas: They
• 12:24
  don't American
• 12:26
  life I'm sorry. I know you are from, you grow from District G. When I tell you, fucking g have too much freedom.
• 12:34
  Thomas: Too much freedom? Too much freedom. What freedoms do they have that they shouldn't have?
• 12:39
  Thomas: I tell my country
• 12:41
  for two no freedom.
• 12:43
  Everything
• 12:45
  rule
• 12:46
  law. That's it. I tell you, could you get solved about few weeks ago. Right? Yes.
• 12:51
  My country,
• 12:53
  they don't put
• 12:55
  a killer guy in a jail. He said whole family.
• 12:59
  Oh.
• 13:00
  Yes, sir. That's for true.
• 13:03
  So that way, more people are accountable to each other. That's why they're scared. They don't do bad thing. You know?
• 13:10
  If my brother do something wrong, kill somebody, someone somebody like Charlie Kirk, they turn to get my
• 13:17
  dad, my mom, my sister,
• 13:19
  all of the family.
• 13:21
  No court date. No jail.
• 13:24
  Three day later, get the line and
• 13:27
  Thomas: they kill him. They sue him. How do people operate? You must be terrified all the time.
• 13:35
  Thomas: You cannot. You don't have any idea with the government.
• 13:38
  You cannot have a question with the government.
• 13:41
  You cannot.
• 13:43
  And you think that's better?
• 13:45
  I don't think about that better. But this country have a super freedom. Like, I tell you one thing. So you're just describing there's two sides of this, and The US is too far over on the freedom side. Like you are a teacher. I say, example, like you are a teacher. Right? Yeah.
• 14:00
  If your student do something wrong, my country,
• 14:03
  they take the kid,
• 14:05
  go up every
• 14:07
  student in the class, put a knee down in the floor,
• 14:11
  put a knee down in the floor Okay.
• 14:15
  And put the head out like this, and they put a stick big stick like this.
• 14:21
  You know?
• 14:22
  And beat two or three times like that.
• 14:25
  But if this country, you do that, you get trouble with your parent. Oh, yeah.
• 14:30
  You can never do that. Never. You can never do that. That's why the student grow up in the Vietnam. They are very
• 14:38
  respect teacher.
• 14:41
  Here, if you are a teacher, you go outside, if you saw the student,
• 14:46
  Somebody say,
• 14:47
  hello. Hello,
• 14:48
  teacher in my country. If you put your hand like that, you get big trouble.
• 14:53
  But you fold your hand like this and put your hand down. Oh. Yes. Not allowed to draw attention. Trying to
• 15:03
  Oh, and
• 15:06
  my my country,
• 15:08
  education,
• 15:09
  they take the kid. They will come back with to heaven.
• 15:13
  Like, I say example, if you see
• 15:16
  the dog, right,
• 15:17
  you say, does the cat
• 15:20
  so kid zip the mouth.
• 15:22
  They cannot say, no. That does not the cat wants the dog.
• 15:26
  Even whatever you say your kid sit at least,
• 15:30
  don't open the mouth.
• 15:32
  Thomas: I'll bite. Did you raise your did you have children?
• 15:35
  I do the same here. You do the same here? 100. Yeah.
• 15:39
  Thomas: So my son, my daughter, I have three kid.
• 15:43
  Before they go out of the house,
• 15:45
  they want to fold the hand. They say, then I go to work, then I go to school. Put the hand down. Don't put the hand up top with daddy. No. And mom. No. Do you still have a warm relationship with them? Do you do they sit on your lap and you reach them? Very good. Very good. My daughter is 23 years old. She still sits on my lap. We are very close.
• 16:05
  But I talk with my kid. I say, why they do that? Because I want to go outside and you saw some people. What did you do? You do the same. Put the hand down. Put the photo hand on this and put hand down. Say good morning.
• 16:18
  Or you want to speak Vietnamese language the best we can, but very difficult. I cannot control about the language
• 16:24
  because they stay in the school market. They stay with me. You know?
• 16:28
  Even to speak English, you want to put a head a head down.
• 16:32
  Thomas: Never want to them. They do they go to an American school?
• 16:36
  Yes, sir.
• 16:37
  So what happens if they talk back to you? If they don't want to bow when they go to leave the house? I don't have no talk back. I don't know. You don't have that problem? I don't I don't have a problem. Right? I can't
• 16:48
  Thomas: I can't
• 16:49
  I say I I can tell you. You say, daddy, can I go to I have a homecoming?
• 16:55
  Can I go there? I say, no.
• 16:57
  After I say no, they sleep silent.
• 17:00
  Don't ask why I cannot go. Don't ask. Hey, please. Let me go. When I say no,
• 17:06
  that's
• 17:07
  mean
• 17:08
  that. Don't ask me again. That's that. You know?
• 17:14
  I am not abused. I get I love my kid a lot. They still Yeah. But you have that power. It's suddenly still put a shit on my shoulder.
• 17:22
  I get
• 17:23
  thirty seven years old and 23 years old, they still sit right here. Say, dad, can I sit? They say, yes. You can.
• 17:31
  When she wants to get married, how will that work? Will the boy will the man come to you to talk?
• 17:37
  Of course. I have I have a daughter when I remember she got married fifty years ago.
• 17:44
  She not
• 17:45
  sit
• 17:46
  or stand talk?
• 17:49
  Put her she she say,
• 17:52
  mom and dad,
• 17:53
  I just let you know,
• 17:56
  and I ask her a question.
• 17:58
  Can I have a boyfriend?
• 18:01
  Her husband is a pharmacist. When my daughter work start to work,
• 18:05
  pharmacy staff in,
• 18:07
  Bahrain, you know, her husband teach her to do homework. That's the reason they connect together and they marry.
• 18:14
  And I I I asked her, who is he?
• 18:28
  She told
• 18:31
  Thomas: you she's gonna marry an American?
• 18:33
  Thomas: Yes. She married an American. I don't mind. I don't mind. Because
• 18:36
  they get married
• 18:38
  with the husband, not with me. Yeah. One day I'm dying, she have her own life. You know?
• 18:44
  I don't mind at all. She can marry with any country. I don't mind.
• 18:49
  But
• 18:50
  I I expect
• 18:51
  a guy
• 18:53
  right now should be good.
• 18:55
  Thomas: And he was a pharmacist?
• 18:57
  Thomas: Yes, sir. And I say, okay. He would help me to
• 19:01
  need to bring his ear one day.
• 19:03
  Let me see.
• 19:06
  I want to see first.
• 19:08
  I I just
• 19:10
  I don't trust my ear. I just I just trust my eye already.
• 19:13
  Thomas: And Did were you the Catholic? Did they get married in the Catholic church? Yes, sir. He was Catholic? Yes, sir. I'm very happy with him. He's,
• 19:21
  Thomas: sometimes he say, mister Nguyen.
• 19:24
  I said, don't call me mister Nguyen.
• 19:26
  You marry with my my daughter. You should become
• 19:30
  dad.
• 19:32
  He he calls you dad? You should be call me your dad. You should not call my name mister It's not good. I don't like it.
• 19:40
  You say, I'm scary talking to all that.
• 19:45
  Thomas: Do you get along with him well? Very well. Do you see him very often? Very often.
• 19:51
  What do they have kids?
• 19:53
  Yes, sir. So you're a grandfather?
• 19:55
  Thomas: Yes, sir. Oh,
• 19:57
  what's that like?
• 19:58
  I love my grandkid like him.
• 20:01
  I love my grandkid.
• 20:03
  My country have a tradition
• 20:06
  every Saturday.
• 20:08
  Mom and dad
• 20:09
  cook
• 20:10
  steak
• 20:12
  with steak with barbecue whip with Vietnamese food, with
• 20:18
  American food. You know, come to family every Sunday, eat
• 20:22
  eat and talk together.
• 20:24
  Thomas: Yes. We do that in my family every Sunday. Yes.
• 20:27
  You have to? Yes, sir. A family is only who comes together, who sees each other. And everybody
• 20:34
  Thomas: must report to me what did you do for the last week.
• 20:38
  What good, what bad? If you do something no good, you must prepare.
• 20:42
  Thomas: Next next week, I don't want to hear again. I don't want to hear again. What kind of thing could they do that would be not good? What would they say?
• 20:49
  Thomas: No. Sometimes they say, they say they get met with a friend,
• 20:54
  or my daughter and my son-in-law get fighting. You know? I say, tell me what's wrong. Why you guys get fighting?
• 21:00
  Tell me.
• 21:02
  Thomas: They would tell you that they had had a fight? Yes. They tell me. Oh my.
• 21:07
  And and are they fair to each other?
• 21:10
  Fairly.
• 21:11
  Thomas: And what is your advice? How do you resolve it? Can I talk with my daughter? My my my daughter. I say,
• 21:17
  Theresa, her name is Theresa. Theresa,
• 21:19
  you
• 21:20
  what do you feel
• 21:22
  when you make some people mad?
• 21:25
  If somebody make you mad, are you happy or you upset?
• 21:29
  She say, I I'm I'm upset and okay. If you say you upset
• 21:33
  when you make some somebody make you, mad, somebody that you you should not In a quarter mile make somebody mad like that. It should be sweet lady.
• 21:42
  Women,
• 21:44
  I tell you, like a rose. Like a rose.
• 21:47
  The rose, they smell it. They
• 21:50
  they spoil them.
• 21:52
  You
• 21:53
  know? A woman like a rose. So you should
• 21:57
  be good wife,
• 21:58
  good girl. Okay?
• 22:00
  You grow up with mom. What mom treat you?
• 22:03
  You should be
• 22:04
  like your mom, my wife, very sweet.
• 22:10
  Does your daughter
• 22:11
  work? Yes. She's a pharmacist. Pharmacist too? Yeah. She's a pharmacist.
• 22:20
  My son, he's a doctor. My daughter the baby wants to see
• 22:25
  in a
• 22:26
  school for
• 22:28
  a baby doctor now.
• 22:30
  Two more years in graduation. My baby wants Are they happy?
• 22:34
  They are very happy. They said thank you then. You believe that I come here 1980?
• 22:40
  Until today, I talk with you.
• 22:43
  Only
• 22:43
  New Year,
• 22:45
  my day off.
• 22:46
  Even Christmas Day, I work, I tell you.
• 22:49
  You work?
• 22:50
  Seven day a week.
• 22:52
  Three hundred sixty four day a year. You need why do you need to? Why do you work so much? I I support them.
• 22:58
  Thomas: I I need a tuition for them. Oh. I don't want to get a student loan. You know? Did you feel like you had to give up a lot of time with them to be able to do that? I'm very happy.
• 23:08
  Thomas: Something like you plant a tree, like a apple tree. You know?
• 23:13
  You put a good, you know, soil for them, and they give you big apple.
• 23:18
  Same thing like me. I feed them good. Now they give me good education. They give me back. No. My gift I respect. They when I talk with you, they never
• 23:27
  talk by a finger.
• 23:28
  They all wear like this arm. Might suddenly put his hand on the back.
• 23:33
  He talk with you like that, which some people older than him. I say, never put the finger on to somebody else. I cut the finger off if you do that. I talk to my my son. My daughter, each time she get back with her husband, my son-in-law say, hey, Theresa. Do you remember what your dad say?
• 23:49
  And my my daughter come down right away.
• 23:52
  She come down right away.
• 23:54
  She come down right away because she don't wanna get trouble with me.
• 23:58
  If next Sunday,
• 24:00
  my son-in-law report to me to his son or something no good, no Christmas gift,
• 24:05
  no birthday gift, I tell you.
• 24:08
  Thomas: This was an incredible conversation.
• 24:11
  Thomas: I'm very happy to talk with you. You are you are like
• 24:15
  Thomas: like, a priest or something. It's your your ability to explain your, culture is,
• 24:20
  Thomas: very profound. I hope if you get time, go Google go to Google, you know, to read the Buddhist Bible.
• 24:28
  You can compare how different is Catholic.
• 24:31
  Serious.
• 24:32
  Thomas: I've never looked at it, actually. You should be.
• 24:35
  The the Buddhist Bible, I've never even seen it. I don't even know what it's called. No. They have English language too. Okay.
• 24:43
  Thomas: Yeah. They tell you. They
• 24:45
  say, okay.
• 24:47
  You see the river with the water. Right? You take the piece of, stone
• 24:52
  dump in there, and the water, they pump up. Right? Yeah. What happened after after
• 24:58
  they come back normal again?
• 25:00
  That's why somebody give you mad. Like, I give I do something stupid with you. You just keep silent. You keep silent. Doesn't mean you scare me or you lose or you lose confident
• 25:11
  or you cheap or whatever.
• 25:14
  But I say
• 25:16
  something happened like
• 25:17
  this. You give me the bottle of time here. I I give you the bottle of water. I don't accept it. Of course, this bottle come back to you. Right?
• 25:24
  When you get back when I get hurt or talk
• 25:28
  do something bad with you,
• 25:30
  you don't accept it. You just keep silent. What happened? Everything trouble I try to give to you, they come back to me. You understand what I'm saying? Yes. Yes. That's a very profound thought. Yeah.
• 25:42
  The same thing I give you, the flower. You say, no, Tom. I thank you. I don't need I don't want
• 25:47
  I don't want to accept your flower. Of course, the the flower, I try to give to you, they come back to me.
• 25:53
  The same thing when I try to do bad something to you.
• 25:57
  You say, Tom, I don't wanna fight with you.
• 26:01
  You misunderstand.
• 26:03
  You don't understand what you're talking about
• 26:06
  about that with me.
• 26:08
  So better thing, I'm sorry, Tom. I have a go, and you walk away. Anything I try to push on y'all, I want to do I want to talk back with you or I do or try to do stupid thing with you. When you walk away, everything they come back
• 26:22
  to me. That's why I get hurt by myself.
• 26:26
  You don't get hurt at all. Normally, you get hurt of them. You tell me, Tom, you stupid driver. But I don't say anything. Say, I'm sorry, mister,
• 26:34
  mister. I'm sorry. I try the best I can. I just keep cool like that. What happened?
• 26:39
  Everything you get mad to me, they come back to your body. Alright. I don't hurt at all.
• 26:44
  Or I'm sorry. You are married? Yes.
• 26:47
  When your wife, she get mad to you,
• 26:50
  you say, okay. Whatever you say, you go go out, drink the beer, or drink your last last of wine.
• 26:57
  She yell it, and she talk bad by herself. What happened? Later on, you feel you're very peaceful.
• 27:03
  Because when she get mad to you and and you get mad back to her, maybe we can control the mile. You know? We can control it. We talk same bad work like she talk to you.
• 27:14
  You just keep silent, and you walk away. You say, okay. You can say whatever you can. But I'm sorry. I don't want to
• 27:21
  hear about that. Let me go somewhere else.
• 27:23
  You can drive somewhere or you can take
• 27:26
  the class of beer, class of wine, go back there, you go by yourself.
• 27:30
  Later on, maybe your wife say, oh,
• 27:33
  I get mad. My husband wins.
• 27:36
  Maybe I'm
• 27:37
  wrong. He's not like that. Why we think about that? She get hurt by herself,
• 27:43
  not
• 27:44
  you. But if you cannot control your body or mind, you say, you are stupid too.
• 27:51
  Something like, I'm sorry. You say that.
• 27:53
  Somebody say, I am stupid. Tongue, you stupid. I say, you stupid.
• 27:58
  No. Not not good. No.
• 28:01
  Keep silent.
• 28:03
  And the people tell me stupid later on. They will know I am not stupid. They're stupid by themselves. Don't fight
• 28:11
  or don't think
• 28:12
  all way we are a winner. We are stronger. I can fight too tall. Like, I am black belt. They will
• 28:18
  fight. I am serious. I'm not joking. I'm not lying. I tell you. I can fight with it. I can I can I can take care of two people easily?
• 28:26
  Two or three people easily. Even they have a stick. I don't need nothing.
• 28:31
  I say, okay. I don't wanna make you hurt.
• 28:34
  Used to be walk away. My my wife, she own
• 28:37
  shop. Two
• 28:39
  black girl come to my nail shop, get done. My wife, she work for three hour. They work out. They don't pay nothing. And she called me, and I say,
• 28:47
  why what what are you feeling if somebody
• 28:50
  like, you are if you are a technician,
• 28:54
  you work three hour for somebody else, and they walk away. They don't pay you.
• 28:58
  What are you feeling?
• 29:00
  She say, fuck you. I'm sorry. She say, fuck you.
• 29:02
  Don't touch me. I say, I know I don't touch you. I just ask you a question. One of two call my friend or whatever. They come to say,
• 29:10
  fuck Chino guy. I say, I'm not Chinese. I'm Vietnamese, but
• 29:14
  I'm yellow skin. But I tell you, we work here. We pay tax like your guy pay.
• 29:20
  We do exactly what American job I do. He said, fuck you. I'm sorry. He said, fuck you. Come back to your country. I say, don't say again one more time.
• 29:29
  You want fight? I say, I don't want make your guy hurt. But if
• 29:34
  you request,
• 29:35
  I will give you a lesson.
• 29:38
  I beat them, you know, four or five people a mile and call a police.
• 29:42
  No. I'm serious.
• 29:44
  And not them now, they say,
• 29:45
  I say, don't stand up. Play stay there.
• 29:48
  Police come get you.
• 29:50
  And the police come, they put them in jail, and they send to me the bill for a a dentist. They lose the teeth. I say, when you talk with me like that, I already have a record on my phone. Don't think I am stupid. Okay?
• 30:03
  But don't come back here again. If you come back next time, I will kill you. I tell you that, I I will kill you. If you come back, you say fuck.
• 30:10
  Thomas: Were you were you angry? Were you worried? What what were you no.
• 30:15
  I very calm.
• 30:18
  Thomas: I'm very calm. I stay outside, and I ready to fight. You know? I I do Tai Chi and Taekwondo. You know?
• 30:25
  I learned kung fu when I was five years old
• 30:28
  until when I'm 18 years old. I cut the break easy.
• 30:32
  I cut the break easy, I tell you, by my hand. If somebody let me my hand like that, it's right here,
• 30:40
  the bone broken.
• 30:41
  I tell you. If I hit somebody, my like this,
• 30:45
  neck bone my god. Neck bone will be broken. I'm serious. That's why my son and my dog my my my my wife say,
• 30:55
  Sorry. My my last name Nguyen,
• 30:57
  m g u y e n.
• 31:00
  I'm don't I learn kung fu for protect me.
• 31:04
  For for protect me. I don't learn kung fu for
• 31:07
  fighting or killing somebody. You know? But
• 31:11
  no anybody can make me hurt.
• 31:13
  Some people tell me, July Uber, I had somebody put a gun on my head. One time
• 31:19
  in a cell grand, you know, CD,
• 31:21
  they put a gun in my head.
• 31:23
  I saw right here.
• 31:25
  I said put a gun down. That talk, and they tell me, don't do stupid thing. Give me your phone and your wallet. I say,
• 31:31
  I don't give my stuff to anybody.
• 31:35
  You think I kill you? I say, yes. You can. You can kill me. Go ahead. I do very fast. You know, my left hand kept the gun, you know,
• 31:42
  and put a gun this
• 31:44
  this door.
• 31:45
  And I he broke it in.
• 31:49
  Thomas: Oh, is this the company this is, Uber. Uber call me. Yeah.
• 31:54
  Hey. I recorded this because it was so profound.
• 31:58
  Thomas: Do you mind if I were to play this to put it on on, social media? I don't play along. Or stay on the Because everything I tell you, I tell you truth.
• 32:06
  Thomas: I agree. This was
• 32:08
  very interesting. I'm grateful for it. Thank you for this. Very nice to talk with you, and I hope it I would like very much, very, very much for you to either send me a text message or send me an email.
• 32:19
  Thomas: Yes, sir. Right here, I have an agent from this I I record people telling life stories, and yours is incredible. I tell you too.
• 32:26
  Okay.
• 32:27
  I'm Even one word, you know, lie or wrong? No. I responsibility,
• 32:32
  you know, what I'm talking. Yeah. I'm happy one day you and me go out for Starbucks, drink coffee. Yes. I would like that very much. Yes.
• 32:40
  Thomas: Okay. Thank you. Thank you.
• 32:42
  Vance Crowe: I would like to shake your hand. Hang on one second. Bye.
• 32:45
  That's gonna do it for this week's episode. I hope you enjoyed this as much as I did. I know that throughout the weekend, I had some pretty hectic times with my kids. My wife was sick. I was in charge of everybody from the infant to the three year old to the five year old. The three year old got sick.
• 33:02
  Only this time, instead of responding with the amount of energy that I was being given, I thought about myself being that placid water,
• 33:10
  the one where the waves were not determining what happened, but instead, I brought calmness.
• 33:16
  That calmness
• 33:17
  culminated in my children and I having a wonderful weekend despite all the turmoil.
• 33:23
  I know that from my conversation with Thomas, I'm a better person,
• 33:27
  and I hope you feel that you're able to apply some of the lessons he learned as well.
• 33:32
  If you are interested
• 33:33
  in having me to sit down with one of your loved ones to have a deep and insightful conversation so that we can record their life stories,
• 33:42
  so we can find out what their childhood was like, what their career was, the deep wisdom that they've learned along the way, then consider getting them a legacy interview where we can capture their stories and you can pass them on to your children or grandchildren
• 33:56
  so that your family knows their history, the stories that make you who you are.
• 34:02
  If you're interested to learn more, go to legacyinterviews.com.
• 34:06
  Alright? We'll be back
• 34:12
  Thomas: next
• 34:17
  Thomas: week.