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Transcript

Entering Your Villain Era: DIABOLICAL Life Lessons · Two Broke Chicks

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: This podcast is recorded on gadigal Land Always was, always
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: will be Aboriginal Land.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: Hey Tix, I'm al and this is two broad Chicks,
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: the show that shares life lessons and tips to make.
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: You rich in life and strap In because.
• 0:20
  Speaker 3: We're in for a dire bolco time today. Diabolical great word,
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: let's start there, but we have asked you chicks to
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: send in your diabolical life lessons and confessions and stories
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: from your twenties so that we can learn through you.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Because we've shared enough. You know what I've gone through.
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: I'm kidding, but I think it's I think it's time
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: to open up the forum of embarrassing crazy out their
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: confessions that we have not read these.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Yes, so these We're just raw dogging it through.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: The emails this morning Live React and I'm so excited
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: some of these, like the subject line one just said
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: strap in.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: Another one was like I can't believe I just spent
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: my morning writing this out.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: And whoever we read in this episode is also going
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: to win a one hundred dollars GIF foucher for wherever
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: they want.
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: Because I also.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: Want to give back to the people that have like
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: opened up and spent their time.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Writing us a tall tale.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: All right, but before we get into it, we must
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: share our own life lessons of the week.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: It's only fair, okay, So hit me, what do you got?
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: Okay?
• 1:36
  Speaker 5: My life lesson of the week is to go to
• 1:39
  Speaker 5: Aldi for your sweet treats and snacky doodles. Ah, yes,
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: I know, God, they have some good snacks there.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, it's intain it's so good.
• 1:49
  Speaker 5: The star of the show is actually an ice cream
• 1:52
  Speaker 5: that I want to share. And it's a New Zealand
• 1:54
  Speaker 5: ice cream and I saw it from.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: New Zealand, really well known for like really good ice.
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: Yeah, they're really good ice cream and just snacks across
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: the board. And do you follow Russ Eats on Instagram.
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: He's that guy that does like food reviews and stuff.
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: He has long hair and he wears a backwards cap
• 2:11
  Speaker 5: and he's really bogan and really funny. Anyway, he went
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: to New Zealand and he was talking about these amazing
• 2:16
  Speaker 5: ice creams, and Chris and I were like Ashll was
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: on and we watched like all of his reviews and
• 2:20
  Speaker 5: he was talking about these ice creams called Kipedi, passion
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: Fruit and Kamahie honey, and then he was like, oh
• 2:28
  Speaker 5: my god, these are delicious blah blah, and all of
• 2:30
  Speaker 5: these people in the comments were like, you can get
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: them in Australia, but only in Aldi. So Chris and
• 2:34
  Speaker 5: I were like, let's run, bitch, yeah, and oh my god,
• 2:40
  Speaker 5: they are so sour and delicious. It's kind of like
• 2:44
  Speaker 5: a passion fruit splice but really soft, like you buy
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: it into it and it just like melts in your mouth, like,
• 2:50
  Speaker 5: oh it's so good.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: So go to Aldi and get these ice creams.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: My life person of the Week is a little bit
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: hot felt who. But I have kind of fallen out
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: of like moving my body recently. And I had like
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: a really good routine at like the start of the year,
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: a little bit earlier into the year, and then like
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: over the last like month maybe two months, I'd like
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: fallen out of it a little bit. And like, so
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: I was over at my house and I was like,
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: I'll drop you to the station because I've got to
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: go to the gym.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: And so I was like, what are you gonna do?
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: When I was like I don't fucking know. I was
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: like I don't know, I've just got to go there. Yeah,
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: because I just need to like get in the gym
• 3:36
  Speaker 2: and just like show up and anyway, whenever I'm like
• 3:39
  Speaker 2: not really bothered to do anything there or like it's
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: just too busy and I can't be ableed to like
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: fight some gym bro for the leg press, I just
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: will run.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: On the treadmill. And I was like really proud.
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Because last year I like got to a point or
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: maybe it was this year, I don't know.
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: Don't ask me timelines for anything.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: Literally I got to a point that I could run
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: like five k's and I was like really proud of
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: that because that was like such a goal.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Anyway, and then I was on the.
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: Treadmill and I was like really really struggling, Like it
• 4:09
  Speaker 2: was like and it was like one k and I
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: was just so I got really down on myself because
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: I was like, cool, you just worked so hard to
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: hit that goal and you've just lost like everything you achieved. Yeah,
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: And I was like feeling really down on myself about it.
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: And then I was on my way home and then.
• 4:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, yeah, but I also had to start
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: somewhere back then, and I still like showed up and
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: rather than like having the mindset of being like well
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: I'm going to go there and I'm not going to
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: be as good anymore.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I'm not gonna be as fit or whatever.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: Like the nag thing in my head is saying, like
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: it's still better than not doing anything, and it's still
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: better than not showing up and not trying.
• 4:51
  Speaker 1: So obviously I'm not.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: Like fits bone go maybe body you don't know, yeah,
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: like that's not.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: This brandy wrong cast.
• 5:01
  Speaker 2: But I just was like it was a nice way
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: to like reframe it in my mind, being like okay,
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: And then now I'm a little bit more motivated because
• 5:08
  Speaker 2: I was feeling defeated, being like I don't even want
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: to go back. Yeah, but now it's like a nice
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: way that I've reframed it in my mind have been like, Okay,
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: well it's better than like nothing, not in the way
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: of it's better than nothing's away exercise of like earning something,
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: but better than nothing of like trying.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah you know yeah.
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: And also it doesn't take away from the fact that
• 5:26
  Speaker 5: you hit that goal in the past, like you have
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: hit five K in the past, and it doesn't take
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: away from that. And if anything, it's like, well you've
• 5:34
  Speaker 5: done it before and you can do it again. And
• 5:35
  Speaker 5: you're built up from one hundred meters before to five
• 5:40
  Speaker 5: k and you can do it again.
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: So yeah, I was saying through up. I was like,
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: that's not fair. I still earned it back then, you
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: won't no give back, give back. I was like, I
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: want to go back to it.
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: And I was like running next to some fucking tank
• 5:58
  Speaker 2: and he like started racing me, so funny, and he
• 6:00
  Speaker 2: was like.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go, let's go. What is going on? It
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: was so funny.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: He was literally like this giant tang who like kept
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: trying to race me, like next to me on the treadmill,
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: and he's like.
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: Come on, girly, let's go twelve twelve. And I was like,
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: what the fuck is going on? But I had the
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: best fucking time. And I was like, what time you.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say, you need.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: Accountability, buddy.
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, shall we get into it now?
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: Let's go.
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm so excited.
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: For obvious reasons, all of these will be kept anonymous.
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, high aln sal I cannot believe I've just spent
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: the better.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Half of this morning turning one of my most chaotic
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: stories from my twenties into a poem.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: But here we are. I hope you enjoy.
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: This is the story which I'm not gonna I'm not
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: gonna say this because it's gonna ruin it. It's gonna
• 6:54
  Speaker 2: be a spoiler, all right. I like to call this
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: one towards the night before my twenty seventh birthday.
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I don't know why I said that with a Irrish accent.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Twas the night before my twenty seventh birthday.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: All through the verbs, I was thriving on vibes and
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: completely unnerved. Westfields was calling Browns waxed fit, secured for
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: a birthday night bash where bad bitches injured yahazing. Then
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: back in my car, I was nearly home free and
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: the pedals said zoom, and the cop said it's me.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Oh no, my heart hit my throat. My last merrit
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: was toast. Don't ask how I lost them, just.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: Know it was gross.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I feel like I read a Doctor Zoo's movie.
• 7:44
  Speaker 2: I love this. He asked my license and vanished from view.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: I stared at the dash. What else could I do?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: But wait?
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: He returns with a breath test in hand. I thought, no,
• 7:55
  Speaker 2: not me, But last night.
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: There was a graham. I croaked.
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: I'm so sorry, he said, that's not all. I braced
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: for more horror. My pride began to fall. Your license,
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: he said, is expired as of today, so technically, miss,
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: you have no right to play. Still cute in the chaos,
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: but barely composed. I texted my roommate, it's jail. I suppose,
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: still enough. They appeared with cuffs and the van, and
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: I thought, at least I look hot.
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: I didn't really have a plan.
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: My roomy arrived on a skateboard in rain my hero,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: my girl, in my hour of shame. We got home,
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: got dressed, and the party it lit. You'd never guessed
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: it had just been it. Days later, the mail had
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: gifts just for me, one fine, two fines, and licensed debris.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: I needed to.
• 9:01
  Speaker 2: Feel, so I boarded that train piers both, I said,
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: let's channel the pain now. I'm thirty, still lost, but
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: my piercings are cute. Life's falling apart, but the girl's absolute.
• 9:20
  Speaker 6: My my god.
• 9:24
  Speaker 2: Like, honestly, wrap the podcast up now. This is from
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: the cheek, she said. This is the story of how
• 9:30
  Speaker 2: I got arrested and my nipples pierced.
• 9:35
  Speaker 5: A Oh my god, I did not realize that they
• 9:39
  Speaker 5: were her nipples.
• 9:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I was imagining her ear load. That's even better.
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: That was quite literally one of the best things I
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: have ever read.
• 9:56
  Speaker 4: That was incredible.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Do you know what?
• 9:58
  Speaker 5: I will only accept emissions via Palm going forth.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: That What the fuck?
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: That was amazing And I'm really glad that you didn't
• 10:09
  Speaker 5: let it ruin your birthday.
• 10:11
  Speaker 2: I want to know how much she had to pay
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: in fines that we can now use her gift card
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: to put towards the fine where.
• 10:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I liked it. I go to the art handlech
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: you guys will give cards.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: You guys take give cards to the icon.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Days later, the mail had gifts just for me.
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: One fine, two fines, and licensed debris.
• 10:35
  Speaker 4: That is iconic.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I think that's probably.
• 10:37
  Speaker 2: Up there with one of my favorite sections. But I
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: also did thoroughly enjoy Where is It My Roomy arrived
• 10:44
  Speaker 2: on a skateboard in rain My hero my Girl in.
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: My Hour of Shadow is my favorite part too.
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: I think why.
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: Roommate skateboard like that was the only option. I just
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: imagine you guys zipping off to the night skateboard.
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: Literally.
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: I actually think I would like never leave my room
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: again if that happened to me.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: I would be like it's over.
• 11:10
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: I love that.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Her coping mechanism was let's go get my nipples pissed.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: What else is there to do? What else is there
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: to do? But that's also so ironergy. Like I remember
• 11:22
  Speaker 2: I had a bad day at work once and like
• 11:25
  Speaker 2: our old manager had been pettying me off and like
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: slack notications were giving me a twitch, and I went
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: and got my nails done.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: I like logged off at like five, which was like
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: so naughty.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And when I got my nails son, I was like, no,
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I didn't quite hit.
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: And I like walked.
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: Past the tattoo parlor and I was like, that'll do.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: And I walked and I was like, do you do
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: finger tattoos?
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: They were like what? I was like, can you give
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: me a finger? They were like what do you want?
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: I was like I don't know, and I was like
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: what do you mean? I was like, I just need
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: to know if you can do this for me or not.
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: He's like it'll look shit like finger who was always
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: looked it?
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: And I was like great, yeah.
• 12:03
  Speaker 2: And then like when I laid down and he like
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: put the needle pen whatever you call it to my finger,
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh, like that's good shoay.
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: Like he was like, you're on.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: He was like, why are you here? And I was like,
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: my boss, why are you here?
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: Oh wakay, that's amazing.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: This one the subject was podsubmission must read Okay, capital bles, capitaals,
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: Hey chicks.
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: This one is a bit of a roller coaster.
• 12:34
  Speaker 5: When I was twenty one, I was freshly single out
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: of a long term relationship. My ex boyfriend was my
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: first so a lot of this single eraror of mine
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: was exploring.
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: Dot dot dot sexually dot dot dot. I'll admit I
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: like we we we would have got that.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: No, I love it. I love it, yeah, spelling out.
• 13:00
  Speaker 5: I admit I had a bit of a ho phase
• 13:01
  Speaker 5: that lasted about four months.
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: Nothing wrong with that, girl, love this anyway. Let's get
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: into the story.
• 13:09
  Speaker 5: It was my work Christmas party and one of my
• 13:11
  Speaker 5: work colleagues, who was older than me and also way
• 13:14
  Speaker 5: hotter than me, swore she would find me something good tonight.
• 13:17
  Speaker 4: Oh okay.
• 13:19
  Speaker 5: We had done a group activity as our Christmas party,
• 13:22
  Speaker 5: then some of us branched off to go clubbing in
• 13:24
  Speaker 5: the city. My friend, let's call her Jade, was already
• 13:28
  Speaker 5: in the club scouting by the time I had arrived
• 13:31
  Speaker 5: Goja doing God's work. We were dancing and having a
• 13:35
  Speaker 5: fun time when Jade disappears into the smokers.
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: Area show Jaye Jade Good.
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: Shortly after, I get.
• 13:44
  Speaker 5: A call from her saying she was in the Smokers
• 13:46
  Speaker 5: and there was someone for me to meet. She introduces
• 13:50
  Speaker 5: me to this bloke let's call him Liam. He's tall, Yeah, no,
• 13:55
  Speaker 5: he's tall, very muscular and Kiwi saint.
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: We get to chatting. He's out with his rugby.
• 14:01
  Speaker 5: Mates after one of their games. Oh no, he's their
• 14:05
  Speaker 5: coach and a founder of their club too.
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: We have a good night.
• 14:08
  Speaker 5: Chat is good, and there's just a few odd things
• 14:10
  Speaker 5: he's saying. Like he says he lives in Townsville, but
• 14:14
  Speaker 5: when I asked him how long the driveway is, he
• 14:16
  Speaker 5: said he had no clue. Don't know about you, but
• 14:19
  Speaker 5: if I've driven a long route multiple times to a
• 14:22
  Speaker 5: different city, I'd know how long it is. Anyway, I
• 14:24
  Speaker 5: brush it off and we have a fun night and
• 14:27
  Speaker 5: we end up going back to the motel he's staying
• 14:29
  Speaker 5: at side Note.
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: I found out he's thirty two and I'm twenty one.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: He thought I was older.
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: I thought he was younger.
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: Ooops.
• 14:37
  Speaker 5: We have a lot of fun back at his hotel,
• 14:39
  Speaker 5: and we're up until the sun rises. When I'm getting
• 14:42
  Speaker 5: dressed and ready to leave, I ask him what his
• 14:44
  Speaker 5: last name is to find him on Facebook. He starts
• 14:48
  Speaker 5: to say a last name, then stops himself and says
• 14:51
  Speaker 5: a complete different last night odd. He then says he
• 14:55
  Speaker 5: doesn't have any social media red flag. I keep this
• 15:01
  Speaker 5: all in the back of my mind as he drops
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: me home and tells me to keep his shirt.
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: What maybe she was wearing like one of.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: His big, baggy shirts or something at home she didn't
• 15:09
  Speaker 5: want to wear like her dress. Back home, I tell
• 15:13
  Speaker 5: one of my older sisters my experience and what happened.
• 15:17
  Speaker 5: She immediately says he's got to be married. One of
• 15:20
  Speaker 5: the telltale signs. He asked me to keep his shirt,
• 15:24
  Speaker 5: not to be romantic, but because it smelled like me.
• 15:28
  Speaker 5: I remember the last name he accidentally said before correcting himself,
• 15:32
  Speaker 5: and I.
• 15:32
  Speaker 4: Do a little google, sir.
• 15:35
  Speaker 5: The first thing I find is an article from earlier
• 15:39
  Speaker 5: that year which pictured him and his wife in front
• 15:42
  Speaker 5: of their new house, the article being how they've started
• 15:46
  Speaker 5: their investment property journey. So the bloke is fucking married.
• 15:50
  Speaker 5: I do the right thing, and I find his wife
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: on Facebook.
• 15:55
  Speaker 4: Oh god, I send her the hey girly text. I
• 16:00
  Speaker 4: didn't start with hay girley though, Fuck that.
• 16:02
  Speaker 5: I basically tell her what happened, and she responds within
• 16:05
  Speaker 5: a few hours Oh no, not. She tells me that
• 16:09
  Speaker 5: they've been married for almost ten years and have a
• 16:12
  Speaker 5: child together. She was absolutely heartbroken. The next day, she
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: changes her profile picture from a picture of her and
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: Lamb to.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: A photo of just her and her child. She's dumped him.
• 16:23
  Speaker 5: I felt so bad, but knowing I did the right
• 16:26
  Speaker 5: thing made me feel better. So basically, during my ho phase,
• 16:29
  Speaker 5: I had a one night stand with a married man
• 16:31
  Speaker 5: and then divorced the couple. I'm sure he had been
• 16:34
  Speaker 5: cheating on her for a while, but.
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: I'm the one that broke his autivities.
• 16:45
  Speaker 5: Never underestimate the detective powers of a twenty one year
• 16:48
  Speaker 5: old with a phone, bitch. Yes, yes, oh my god,
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: you poor thing.
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: My gosh, you did do.
• 16:58
  Speaker 5: The right thing by messaging e literally, even though like
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: it's a lot you would feel like you hold a
• 17:04
  Speaker 5: lot of responsibility over the breakup.
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: Of their marriage. You didn't.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: I thought we were about to be in like a
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: Netflix documentary, and he was like a man on the run,
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: Like I truly, I was like, fuck, he like lives
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: in a motel.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: Like he doesn't want to say his last name.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I was like, no, he's wanted for like seventeen murders exactly.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: He's lying about where he lives.
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: So like I built up something in my head that
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: I was like, Oh, it's just married, Okay, it's okay.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: I was like, don't get out, bitch. I was like,
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: you're about to be a Netflix documentary.
• 17:33
  Speaker 4: Oh my god.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Oh like power to that fucking wife slash ex wife though, yeah,
• 17:40
  Speaker 2: dump his fucking asked because she's so right, Like there
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: is no doubt in my mind of these people that
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: I've never met that he would.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: Have been doing it. Definitely, do you reckon he gave
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: a fake first name?
• 17:52
  Speaker 5: Well I don't think so, because she was able to
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: look up. Oh yeah, I must he had a really
• 17:57
  Speaker 5: unique surname. But it's hard to say.
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: What I know, Like what a dumb bitch.
• 18:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah that you couldn't even come up with that on
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: the spot, Like but that's just.
• 18:06
  Speaker 2: Embarrassing being like, you know, live in Townsville. Have been
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: like how long is a drive ooh o, don't no
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: geah idiot, he deserved whaty gaps?
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: Okay, outsmarted by a twenty one year old and you're
• 18:17
  Speaker 5: thirty two, idiot?
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: You go girl?
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: Literally okay, Oh shit, high chicks. You two are both epic.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: This one's mildly cooked and kind of long, but I
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: regret nothing great.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: I belonged to a church.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Each year we do a big weekend getaway somewhere up
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: the coast to get to know everyone a bit better
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: and do a deep dive into the Bible. Now, the
• 18:42
  Speaker 2: guy I've had a crush on for over a year
• 18:44
  Speaker 2: also goes to my church and came away on this
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: trip alongside his new girlfriend. She seemed super lovely, and
• 18:50
  Speaker 2: even though I was kind of crushed, I was happy
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: to see that this guy who I care about was
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: happy and found someone cool.
• 18:56
  Speaker 1: Single. Teardrop rolls down my cheeks very much, she says
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: in brackets.
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: On the first night of the trip, everyone was kind
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: of split between rooms watching a movie and sitting by
• 19:04
  Speaker 2: a fire playing cards.
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: I went from the fire inside to make myself a tea.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: When I see the guy I likes girlfriend making out
• 19:12
  Speaker 2: with one of his best friends behind the house.
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: Thou shalt not make out with someone else at the
• 19:19
  Speaker 5: church camp, Okay.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: Continue, I was gone. I was gobsmacked and shuddered for
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: my guy.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Wait no, she said no, she said, my guy, but
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: immediately excited when I realized if he found out, he
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: might leave her and finally want to be with me instead.
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: Desperate, I know, I hate.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: Confrontation and actively avoid rocking the boat, but just knew
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: that I wouldn't be able to just tell him what
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: I'd seen and get caught in this mess. So that
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: night when everyone went to sleep. So that night, when
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: everyone went to sleep, I took one of her bras
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: out of her bag and snuck out to the cheating
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: best friend's car and hid the bra in the back
• 20:18
  Speaker 2: seat of the car.
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: Oh my god.
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: The next day, when we were all figuring out where
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: to surf, I suggested we take the.
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: Best friend's car. Oh my god, I'm living. I am living,
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: sing a bitch, I love it.
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: I suggested we take the best friend's car to go
• 20:39
  Speaker 2: and scope out a good surf break from the lookout.
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: Just as I'd.
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: Hoped, my crush and his girlfriend hopped into the back
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: seat of the best friend's car with me and the
• 20:49
  Speaker 2: cheating best friend and another mate sat in the front.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: Halfway through the drive, I loudly complained about something poking
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: into my butt and pulled down what I thought was
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: the pre planned bra from underneath me. Instead, I pulled
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: out a different bra that was also in this.
• 21:09
  Speaker 6: Guy's fox, that also belonged to the cheating yard.
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: By god, it still work.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: These little bitches had been doing this for a while.
• 21:27
  Speaker 4: We need to call more people little bitches.
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: I can curve. I can curve these little little bitches.
• 21:36
  Speaker 5: Ah.
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: The guy I had a crush on quickly connects the
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: dots when the girlfriend and the best friends start immediately
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: acting weed and getting defensive, and eventually the whole cheating
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: thing was revealed. The rest of the trip was majorly awkward.
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: The bloke I liked broke up with her pretty much immediately,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: and her and the cheating best friend left the holiday
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: together early. This guy that I liked still hasn't come around.
• 22:13
  Speaker 1: Oh my god.
• 22:16
  Speaker 6: Oh but I haven't told anyone this, purely because it's
• 22:19
  Speaker 6: in and partly because.
• 22:26
  Speaker 1: I don't really want this kind of like me. Forgive
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: me seven Alpha. I have seen glad I got this
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: off my chest. I hope my confession.
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: Sits well with some of the hopelessly love struck other
• 22:44
  Speaker 2: chicks out there.
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: Indeed, I love you forgive me selling alpha.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: I have seen.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: Oh put that ship on a fucking shirt.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: Honestly I love that. Amen, sister, Oh.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: My god, I've never been prouder.
• 23:02
  Speaker 5: That is honestly iconic. And do you know what, I
• 23:05
  Speaker 5: think somebody was on your side.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: There, because even though you.
• 23:08
  Speaker 5: Planted the bra, another bra miraculously appears like you didn't
• 23:14
  Speaker 5: exactly you were doing the right thing.
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: It was going to happen eventually, right. I love that
• 23:22
  Speaker 4: honestly planning is it the right.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: Thing to do? I don't know. Is it really fucking funny?
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: Yes, the fact that you went into note because Sally,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: imagine you're under the cover of darkness, laying in bed
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: and you go.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: I'm gonna go in her bag and get it bra.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: Like imagine sitting there, and what I'm featuring right now
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: is you know how loud a Zippro is. She can't
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: do it all the one go and then she's like going,
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: she trying to find bran. She's like, but there was already. Also,
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: why is the bra coming off in the back of a.
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: Car, aren't we now shall not do something else?
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: If I recall, Fuck, that was amazing.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: That is amazing.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: I'm so proud of you.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, these stories have not fucking disappointed.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: I can't wait to write back to all of these.
• 24:23
  Speaker 4: People and be like, I fucking love you.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Being like that is amazing.
• 24:27
  Speaker 5: And I'm just interested in that one because it's such
• 24:30
  Speaker 5: a unique story.
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: So as much as we've kept it anonymous, I'm like.
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: But but no one knows about the planted bra, Like, yeah,
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: I think maybe someone leaving a bra in imagine.
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: If that girl is one of.
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: The chicks, well but she so imagine that one mate
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: that had nothing to do.
• 24:50
  Speaker 1: It's in the front seat. What did you say for? Like,
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: he's like, where's here, wed energy? Where are you guys?
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: Being weird because he has no idea an innocent church
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: camp bystander. Oh fuck, that's good. Oh that was so good.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: That was amazing. I actually like have tears.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah that was amazing. Okay.
• 25:16
  Speaker 5: Confession of a certified people pleaser turned mastermind villain. Hello
• 25:21
  Speaker 5: Cheeky's Hello, Hope you both are living your best lives
• 25:23
  Speaker 5: and if not, I promised this story will resurrect your
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: spirits and leave you gasping.
• 25:28
  Speaker 4: Oh now, Horney, Now, let me be clear. I'm not
• 25:33
  Speaker 4: here to win. I'm here to publicly thrash an ugly
• 25:37
  Speaker 4: boy and walk away with the satisfaction of being that girl.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Ah.
• 25:42
  Speaker 5: Yes, my twenties, where my hobbies included poor decisions, terrible
• 25:46
  Speaker 5: taste in men, and collecting trauma like friendship bracelets.
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: We've all been there.
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: She's a great storyteller.
• 25:53
  Speaker 5: She is This confession, of course, stars an ugly ass
• 25:57
  Speaker 5: boy who looks like a sunburnt cactus with zero emotional stability.
• 26:02
  Speaker 5: Apologies to the cactus community, you deserve a better representation.
• 26:08
  Speaker 5: But me, I was a gold medal winning people pleaser.
• 26:12
  Speaker 5: I didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I said yes.
• 26:15
  Speaker 5: I became his girlfriend Q Horror soundtrack. Almost immediately the
• 26:20
  Speaker 5: cactus sprouted thorns. He was possessive, obsessive, volatile, a walking
• 26:27
  Speaker 5: red flag parade.
• 26:29
  Speaker 4: One time he tried.
• 26:30
  Speaker 5: To crash the car with me in it because I
• 26:33
  Speaker 5: didn't reply fast enough.
• 26:35
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, that's actually terrifying.
• 26:38
  Speaker 5: I knew I had to go, but I wasn't about
• 26:40
  Speaker 5: to exit quietly and let him narrate the story.
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: So I went full villain.
• 26:46
  Speaker 5: I created a fake Instagram account in his name, made
• 26:50
  Speaker 5: it private, and then I started uploading all the chaotic
• 26:53
  Speaker 5: content i'd secretly recorded, screaming fits, manipulative meltdowns, and yes,
• 26:59
  Speaker 5: the horror of his hygiene hygiene.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: She got in.
• 27:04
  Speaker 5: When it became a certified psycho documentary, I flipped the switch,
• 27:09
  Speaker 5: made the account public, sent.
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: Follow request to everyone.
• 27:15
  Speaker 5: His friends, family, co workers, possibly his dog, then blocked
• 27:21
  Speaker 5: him on everything. Silence, chaos, closure, no regrets, only receipts,
• 27:30
  Speaker 5: and a cactus somewhere wondering what the hell happened. When
• 27:35
  Speaker 5: the credits rolled, he remained the plot twist no one
• 27:38
  Speaker 5: needed while I walked into the sequel healing, hotter and
• 27:43
  Speaker 5: so done with cacti in disguise regards your longtime listener
• 27:49
  Speaker 5: and admirer. And the photo she attached was a photo
• 27:53
  Speaker 5: of him.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Please show me. We are not going to be posting
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: this anyway, but show me.
• 28:03
  Speaker 4: You can just tell the kind of guy that he is.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: My god, oh my god.
• 28:13
  Speaker 2: Look she did say she turned villains. She went full
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: vill she went full vill But I'm like, if you're
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: going to behave.
• 28:22
  Speaker 4: Like that, yeah, Well the receipts are there.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: The receipts are there.
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, if you're going to be an abusive piece of shit,
• 28:30
  Speaker 2: then everyone should know the abusive piece of shit that
• 28:32
  Speaker 2: you are.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: Yeah, exactly.
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: You know, she literally gossip girled him.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's kind of amazing. That's that.
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: Do you know what we asked for?
• 28:40
  Speaker 2: Diabolical confessions, and that's the pretty fucking diabolical.
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay, this one's a nice quick one
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: to finish on. Okay, Hi, sound now.
• 28:53
  Speaker 2: It was my then boyfriend's birthday and I thought i'd
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: surprise him when he got home from work. I used
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: my spare key to let myself into his house, then
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: lit a few candles and started some music to create
• 29:03
  Speaker 2: a sexy vibe. I had positioned myself on the couch ready.
• 29:14
  Speaker 1: How would you position yourself on the couch arrival?
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: I don't I don't know what's sexy on the couch, Like,
• 29:24
  Speaker 5: maybe on the side if you're wearing lingerie, Yeah.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I think under covers. Yeah, yeah, while wearing my blanket
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: to the neck. The blanket to the neck covered in pillows.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: That's that's hot. That's hot. I positioned myself on the
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: couch ready for his arrival.
• 29:44
  Speaker 2: And when I heard the car pull up and the
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: door opened, it wasn't him but his parents and his
• 29:49
  Speaker 2: younger sister who walked through the door. I'll never forget
• 29:53
  Speaker 2: the horror on their faces at them seeing me lying
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: stark naked on the couch. I've never wanted to be
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: absorbed by the earth, more life, lesson know who holds
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: the spare keys.
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: Oh so it was. It wasn't even his family house.
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: Oh no, it wasn't the family house, because I was like,
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: come on, that's danged. But it was just her boyfriend's
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: home and his family was coming over for a family
• 30:19
  Speaker 2: dinner on his birthday. And they saw they saw the
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: sausage and meatballs.
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: She doesn't have a penis and balls, but you know.
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: What I mean, Oh my god, they saw full beeves.
• 30:30
  Speaker 5: Who do you think is worse seeing it the mom,
• 30:33
  Speaker 5: the dad, or the little sister.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: The little sister will forget. She's young, she doesn't know.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: She doesn't understand that Dad can quote simply never ever
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: ever be in a room with her, just the two
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: of them ever again. The mom, she'll hate her forever.
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: Unless she's like a good vibe, she'll be like, that's
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: kind of funny. Yeah, like that's tea. Like I'd be like,
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I love that. Like if I'd be like, yes, man,
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: you'd be like ARCHI back lift, You're.
• 31:06
  Speaker 6: Like, that's it hunting now smile Like.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: I'd be like, yeah, that's it. It's like yea. I'd
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, I'm so sorry. We interrupted, Well, yeah,
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: do you need anything? Snacks? Comes?
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: But that dad, that poor poor dad, because as well
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: if he.
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: Was just he's got his daughter. That dad has his
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: daughter there that he's like, oh my god, that could
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: be you one day.
• 31:32
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: True, he's like.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: This, this is what this is might yep, which like
• 31:37
  Speaker 2: there's nothing wrong with that.
• 31:38
  Speaker 4: No girls have.
• 31:39
  Speaker 1: Sex, daughters have sex. I'm someone's daughter, you're someone's daughter.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: I guess what we make out behind the camp church
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: crowns we seen we're going to hell.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: It's true.
• 31:52
  Speaker 4: Yeah, someone's daughter's going to hell.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Someone's daughters. Oh so many times in this reporting, I'm
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: so sorry I can't.
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: Physically laugh without like a knee slap. Yeah, and my
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: knee has a barrier of a table, so like this.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: Fucking table has been here.
• 32:14
  Speaker 2: The room slap that like the drum Okay, we have
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: to we have to choose a winner.
• 32:21
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, I don't know if I can.
• 32:25
  Speaker 1: That's too hard.
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: I'm okay, Oh the church one was really good, But
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: I do I do think my personal winner has to
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: be the poem because the creativity that went into that
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: was was diabolical. But also if we're going off diabolicalness,
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: then maybe it should go to gossip Girl.
• 32:51
  Speaker 5: I think it's gossip Girl. I think that is the
• 32:54
  Speaker 5: most diabolical. Yeah, honestly, but.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Also like stealing someone's brame Jerke, honestly, gold stars to everyone.
• 33:10
  Speaker 1: Literally everyone, amazing, amazing job.
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: It was like my favorite episode ever.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Literally, I'm like, we need to do a part two
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: on this immediately. And now that everyone gets a taste
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: of what we mean by diabolical, send them in Hello
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: at two Broke Cheeks dot com dot au email us,
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: put diabolical on the subject line and put something spicy
• 33:32
  Speaker 2: in there so we know the spice.
• 33:34
  Speaker 5: Level and feel free to send it as a voice
• 33:36
  Speaker 5: note if you're comfortable we can hear the passion.
• 33:40
  Speaker 2: Oh god, but that's not anonymous enough, somebody true, we'd
• 33:43
  Speaker 2: have to put a voice effect.
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: So there I went into it and gotcha bra.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah, like big brother.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: Literally, oh my god, Well, no advice with the chicks
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: this episode, because you're all too far gone.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: Like it.
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: Love you chicks saying thank you so much for having
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: us in your ear holes, big kisses, big smooches, and
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: I'm going to read that poem every night before bed.
• 34:05
  Speaker 4: Seriously.
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: It was the night before my twenty seventh birthday.
• 34:08
  Speaker 4: And thanks to am I k Made for making today's
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: episode happened.
• 34:11
  Speaker 1: Bye Chick, Bye, love you,