Latest / Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul / **BONUS EPISODE** How to Be The Parent You Never Had with Amora Randel

Transcript

**BONUS EPISODE** How to Be The Parent You Never Had with Amora Randel · Healing Her Story with Riva Jean-Paul

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, love Riva here.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_01: Before we begin today's episode, I do want to take a moment here to offer a trigger warning.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: The conversation that I have with Amora isn't just a conversation between two practitioners, it's a conversation between two close friends and sisters.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_01: And we go really deep in this episode.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_01: Amora very vulnerably and courageously shares her story and her experiences from early childhood.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_01: We talk about some of the adverse experiences that she had as a child and we also talk a little bit about how it's impacted her as an adult.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: And so if you are currently in a tender place or perhaps you have some memories or challenges from your childhood that maybe you haven't thought about or perhaps you haven't addressed in a while, I invite you to take a moment here to check in and sense into if this is the right moment for this episode.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_01: It's a wonderful and powerful conversation, and I am so sure that you will find value in it.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to make sure that you're listening to it at a time where you're feeling resourced and in a good space to have this conversation.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: I look forward to having this conversation, and we'll begin now.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: Trusting the faces of the moon in.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because what she models is just beautiful.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: And what makes it even more beautiful is how different that is from where Amora came from.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_01: Amora comes from a family, and I'll let her share more about it as much as she feels comfortable sharing today.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_01: But Amora has had, let's say, a challenging childhood.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_01: And through all of that challenge, she has found a way, some way in her heart to shine her light so bright and to be the most loving, supportive, compassionate mother for her son.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, who else would I bring on today to have this conversation of how to be the parent that you never had?
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna read Amora's bio and then I'll have Amora share any other words she might like to share before we go into the interview.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I have to say I'm tearing up just a little bit as I'm yeah, just reflecting on what a beautiful person Amora is.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_01: Amora is a transcendental sound healer.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: She works with vibrations and unique tones to create deeply healing and transformative experiences.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_01: Her music alchemizes spaces, transports people into their highest expressions of self, and brings all closer to their soul's greatest desires.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_01: Amora is honored to be of service to humanity in such a beautiful and profound way.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: Known as a community healer, builder, and connector, she serves the community and many beautiful souls on their journey of healing and transformation.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: She is the founder of Sound of Love, a renowned heart-centered sound healing company with the intention of community connection and self-realization through the transformative power and sound.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: Amora, welcome to the Healing Her Story podcast.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_04: Thank you for having me, Riva.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_04: I'm so excited to be here.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_01: So excited to have you.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm wondering as we're getting started today, if there's anything else you might like to share about yourself before we jump into things.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_05: But I truly love to give that love to everyone that I meet, you know, um, in those spaces and places of being of service, I feel that there's an inner child within all of us, you know.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_05: And so when we can see and speak to that inner child, it's just so beautiful and powerful.
• 6:28
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm just I'm really honored to be able to do this work and to be of service in such a profound way.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_05: Um, you know, vibrations is very powerful.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_05: So yeah.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_01: Beautifully said.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks for sharing that, Amora.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_01: And before we go a little bit into anything you might like to share about what it was like growing up for you, I do want to take a moment to just acknowledge that we're not here today to blame our parents or our caretakers for anything that they did.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_01: This is not to vilify anyone, this is not to shame anyone.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: This is more about recognizing patterns and choosing something different.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: So for any parents out there listening, we're not blaming you.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: We're just talking about some of the opportunities that we have to do something different if that's what we choose to do.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, yes, yeah.
• 7:36
  unknown: Yeah.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Amora, what was your experience growing up in a family with generations?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_05: Oh so my experience, I honestly don't remember my mother and father being in the same household.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_05: Um for most of the time I did live with my mom.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_05: There was a lot of um abandonment.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_05: Um there was neglect at times.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_05: Um quite often actually, and you know, I don't I don't say this just as you said before, like we're not saying this to, you know, like dump on the parents or anything.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_05: It's it's it is it is us telling our story.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_05: And it may be challenging when we tell our story for our parents to hear this, right?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah, it was that um abandonment, that neglect.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_05: Um, my my older sister actually like pretty much raised us.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_05: You know, um, my mom wasn't available, my father was somewhere else.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_05: Um there were times when both of my parents were on drugs, and that's why my sister had to, you know, raise us, take care of us.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_05: She made sure that we ate, um, you know, showered, got to school, helped us with our homework.
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_05: And um, you can only just imagine how that is for a child, you know, it was like she never had a childhood.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_05: And so um, yeah, it was challenging because when you are a child, you just want your parents, you know, you just want your parents, and so it's um that feeling of you know, like, am I am I am I good enough?
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_05: Um, did I do something wrong?
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_05: Um, where's my mom?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_05: Where's my dad?
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_05: And um it's just it's it was challenging.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_05: It was challenging, but yeah, that was my experience.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, thanks so much for sharing and your honesty and your vulnerability of noticed just a little bit of tears falling out behind my eyes as you're sharing your story, and yeah.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: Sounds like a lot you had to go through and and deal with as a young girl and having your sister take care of you.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_01: How much older was um or is your sister than you?
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_05: And just my sister, 30.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_05: She's about four years, four maybe five years older than me.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_05: Okay, yeah, yeah.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_05: So she did a lot, she did a lot as a child, yeah, and um we we've recently had conversations um about our childhood, and she told me that before I would say before we all just really went to live with my mom, my father like prepared her.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_05: And hey kitty friend.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_05: She's always gonna make an appearance, um, but my father prepared her, you know, and taught her how to clean and wow, you know, and how to cook, and you know, told her, you know, that you're you're gonna have to step up and take care of your siblings.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_05: Wow.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_05: Yep.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_05: Wow.
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_05: Yep.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_05: So when she was supposed to be out there hanging out with her friends, riding her bike, you know, going to the park to play with.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_05: No, it was her taking care of her siblings.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that sounds so challenging and and hard and like something a child should not have to be dealing with at all.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_05: No, no, but it's um it's interesting because it seems like it's it happens a lot in like black and brown communities, you know.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_05: And um you know, it's sad, you know, and I wish that there was something that we can do to change it, you know.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_05: But um, when people don't realize that they're that they are passing down their generational trauma, they're not gonna be available to receive anything because they don't see what is wrong.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: Well, if it's been happening for generations, it almost gets normalized.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: And that's um a really nice segue into our next question.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: When did you first realize that you wanted to break these cycles?
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_05: So before I had my son, and I really feel like it was like when my father passed away.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_05: My father passed away, what, 15 years ago?
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_05: And I said, you know, when I have a child, I hope that I have a son so that I can have a piece of my father here.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_05: And once I get exactly what I asked for, because he reminds me so much of my dad.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_05: I honestly feels like I feel like he is my father reincarnated.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that would not surprise me at all.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_05: The things that he tells me, like, for instance, I said, you know, I said, I'm tired, I really want to get my rest.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_05: And he looks at me and he says, Mom, no one is stopping you from getting your rest.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_05: You can rest whenever you want.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_05: You just need to learn how to sit down.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_05: And I was like, Wow, who who are you talking to?
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_05: But he was so he was so right, he was so right.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I'm like, okay, I'm learning how to sit, and sometimes I just don't need to do anything, okay?
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow, wow, yeah.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: Josiah is um a really special, special kid, and it would make sense to me if your father was reincarnated inside of him because he does not act like your average 11-year-old.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_05: No, I call him grandfather, and he does not like it, but he does act like a grandfather.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, so it sounds like before you even had Josiah, you were already thinking about okay, like I want something different than what I experienced.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_05: So I did not want my child to grow up and experience anything that I did.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and so I I knew that it was gonna be challenging, right?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_05: Because it was normal to be absent.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_05: It's like the parent's there, but the parent is not available, or you're just not there, right?
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_05: Or there's always something else that's more important than you, yeah.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_05: And so, yeah, I made that decision years before I had him.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, yeah, that's amazing.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_05: At such a young age, you were already kind of coming to that understanding, yes, because I I I witnessed in my family how the generational trauma was passed down, and so actually it was way before my father even passed away, but see how different ones would talk to their kids, and it was like they did not respect their children, and there was a specific individual to where every time he would speak to his children, it would be in a disrespectful way, or uh I'm like you're like belittling them or making them feel small, and they're literally just children, and till this day they're mental, like I try to speak life into them, and their minds are very pessimistic because that's how they grew up, you know, and so even with that, I said, Yeah, no, not my child.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_05: No, I'm gonna speak life into him, to her, and that's exactly what I do, yeah.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_05: Not saying I'm a perfect parent, but I'm damn sure better than my parents, yeah, you know, and at the same time, it's like you know, remembering that our parents they did the best that they could at that time.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, absolutely, with the tools and the understanding and the resources that they had.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_05: That right there, Ashay.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, yeah.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I do also want to name and just acknowledge because I know you've you've mentioned that you see this more in black and brown families, that there are greater systemic issues um in place that don't necessarily make it easier for black and brown families to show up as a fully present, um, compassionate, loving caretaker.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: And while it doesn't dismiss or make it okay, it does kind of just give us a bit of an understanding how much that black and brown parents really do have to try to overcome to be a fully present and connected parent.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_05: You know, it is it's interesting because I I work at a school and I see that there are a lot of children who don't they don't feel loved and cared for because of the actions that they show.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_05: And the reason why I can say that is because I see because that was me as a child, except for I didn't have I didn't have the space to act out because I would have been, I probably would have been beat.
• 19:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_05: And so I didn't act out in that way.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_05: I waited until my teen years to act out.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_05: That's like the rebellion.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_05: Like at that time, it's like I don't give a bug that by that time, right?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, me too.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_05: But um, you're right, it's like it does not make it easy for us when you think about a single parent.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_05: We literally just had this conversation in class today, and we talked about how moms are superheroes.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_05: And we're currently practicing for our community sound healing where we invite the family and friends and things to join us.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_05: And one little girl, she says, My mom would really love this because she's really tired and she works a lot.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_05: And another little girl said, My mom works a lot too, she would love this.
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_05: And another one says, My mom works two jobs and she's always tired.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, and I said, I said, your moms are superheroes, and then they said, Oh, so that means that you're a superhero too, because you have a son.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_05: My assistant, she was like, you know, go let's go ahead and give her some claps, but yeah, it's like it's it's it's not easy.
• 20:41
  SPEAKER_05: No, like you work these two jobs, yeah, and then you're trying to have that quality time with your kids, make sure that they're clothed and fed, the house is clean.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_05: It's I'm telling you, being a parent is the real job.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_05: That's the real job.
• 21:05
  SPEAKER_05: And it doesn't matter what else you do, being a parent, it doesn't stop.
• 21:10
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: No, there's no breaks, no vacation.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, hey, you can go on vacation, but even while you're on vacation, you're thinking about your kids.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_05: You're thinking about your kids.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_05: And on top of that, I feel like parents need to have at least one day of flow.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_05: I call flows weeks or um weeks flows.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_05: So once a flow, I feel like each parent they need a day to themselves so that they can reset.
• 21:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_05: Parents need to reset.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 21:51
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 21:55
  SPEAKER_05: So if you're a parent out there, make sure you get that day to yourself so you can reset.
• 21:59
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, such a great uh invitation for all the parents listening to really take that time to fill your own cup so that you can show up as the parent that you want to show up as.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_01: Because in addition to the systemic issues that we're all living in, that cause us to be tired and you know, having to work two jobs and making it more difficult, if we're unwell on top of that, whether it be mentally or physically or spiritually or emotionally, then now you have something else that you have to try to overcome to show up.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we can come full and rested, maybe not as rested and as full as we maybe like to be, but as close as we maybe can, then we're gonna have more resource and more capacity to even think about showing up as that parent.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, it's like it's mandatory to fill your cup.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_05: Because if you don't, you will become more short with your children.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_05: And it is not their fault that you did not choose to take care of yourself.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_05: Well, you know how you get on the plane, right?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_05: And they say, Yeah, put on your oxygen mask first.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_05: Is that an oxygen mask?
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_01: It is, yeah, you got it.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_05: Put on that oxygen mask first, and then take care of your child.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_05: You have to get to the point to where you fill your cup because you cannot keep giving from an empty vessel.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_05: Giving as you are depleted, nobody's getting the best of you.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_05: Right.
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_05: And your children deserve to get the best of you.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 23:53
  unknown: Yeah.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: And they're watching you.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: They are watching, yeah.
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_01: And at that age, our brains are still forming and we learn through, like you said, through watching.
• 24:07
  SPEAKER_01: And so whatever you're doing, or whatever parents are doing, caretakers, the adults around, just are just soaking it all up.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_01: And so if we want our kids to be and act in certain way, then the best thing that we can do is really model that to them through our own behavior because that's how they really learn.
• 24:30
  SPEAKER_05: That is right.
• 24:31
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: It reminds me of um a day, because I also work in schools, as you know, a day in class where one of the teachers, and I won't say the school or the teacher name, uh, but she had said to the the children who were in second grade, they were being a little talkative and maybe not getting quiet as quickly as I was asking them to.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm very, very, very patient with my littles, especially if they're um not listening, whatever that means, right?
• 25:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because they are kind of listening.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: They're just maybe kind of doing their own thing, or maybe there's things going on inside of them that make it hard to do what you're asking to do.
• 25:14
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm, you know, trying to get the group together, and the teacher interjects and she says to the kids, second graders, you are draining my cup.
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_04: Whoa, yeah.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: To third graders, you are draining my cup or my bucket or whatever she, yeah, I think it was bucket.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: You're draining my bucket.
• 25:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, that is not their concern.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like, they don't need to know about where your bucket is at.
• 25:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, that's not their job to worry about filling your bucket.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's a you thing.
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_05: Well, so that is so, so even if you don't have kids and you work with kids, yeah, you need to take care of yourself.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, yes, everyone needs to take care of themselves, but especially if you work with kids, yes, you should take care of yourself.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_05: You need to take care of yourself, and that right there is a perfect example of why.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_05: That's something that should not be said to kids.
• 26:21
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_01: It's um it's really interesting.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: I know you and I have had so many discussions about the public schools, and maybe we could go more in depth um another day.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: But um yeah, let's let's kind of get back to the next question here.
• 26:39
  SPEAKER_01: I love that little sidebar that we did.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_01: I think it feeds into everything so nicely.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: What would you say were some of the biggest challenges in choosing a different way?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: And maybe we've already kind of named a few here with the systemic issues and um maybe not taking care of yourself.
• 26:57
  SPEAKER_01: Are there any other challenges that you can think of?
• 27:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_05: Can you repeat that one more time?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_05: Let me look into that again.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_01: Of course.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so when you first realized you wanted to break the cycle and you started breaking these cycles, what were some of the biggest challenges in choosing a different way?
• 27:20
  SPEAKER_05: The biggest challenge, I will give an example.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_05: Um so growing up, we we would get whooped with pretty much anything.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_05: And um I remember Josiah was probably about two years old.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_05: I don't remember what he did, but I remember my reaction being to whoop him.
• 27:57
  SPEAKER_05: And after I did it, I said, and at this time I was not on my journey of awakening, was not, and I said, Oh, I don't like the way that feels in my body, yeah.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_05: And then I thought about when my father last whooped me, and I had this hatred towards him to where I did not speak to him for three years.
• 28:30
  SPEAKER_05: Wow, and I thought about how my reaction was when my father whooped me, and I said, I don't want my child to feel like that and hate me and not want to talk to me.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, so it was challenging because it was that that push and pull of like this is how I was raised, but this doesn't feel right in my body.
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but I have to find another way to discipline him.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_05: And then I realized that you can actually accomplish a lot when you talk to your child.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, at that age, like they don't fully understand, but the the repetition of it, you know, and eventually he did catch on.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_05: But we have to pay attention to how we feel in our body, because yes, you can feel that that what is that, that uh that adrenaline coming up, right?
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_05: Whenever they do something that's triggering to you, but you gotta be grounded and centered enough to where you can say, okay, this is not okay, and you could you have the power to make that decision with just as fast as that feeling comes on.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_05: When we talk about that sacred pause, remember that sacred pause?
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there's power in the pause, yes, and especially as a parent, yes, oh yes, it was challenging, but and I mean, there's even like even now, like um, I most definitely I don't put my hands on my son, but there's times when I catch myself if I'm angry or frustrated, and I don't pause, but then yet I I always go to him and I apologize if I if I know that I'm wrong and my body is going to tell me I to I apologize.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_05: And you want to know something now, he does the same thing.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_05: If he knows that he's wrong, he will come to me and apologize.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh wow, that's such a valuable lesson that you can model and and teach to your son because really there's a I forget where I read this from, but we're only able to be correctly attuned to someone, um, to a child or you know, to a partner of any kind.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: Only about um 30% of the time are we accurate.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Are we meeting the person with um what they're feeling and we're matching their energy and their emotions in the right way, where they feel seen and heard and understood.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: Only about 30% of the time, and the rest of the time we are misattuned, and what really what it's really about is the repair, which is what you just named here.
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's about acknowledging, like, oh wow, okay, I messed up, and then being vulnerable enough and courageous enough to then go to, and in your case, your son, who is much younger than you by decades, and admit to a child as an adult that you fucked up and apologize.
• 32:09
  SPEAKER_01: That's truly amazing, Amora.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: It really is.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you understand how impactful that is as an adult.
• 32:17
  SPEAKER_01: When I and I'm not even gonna get into my childhood or anything um specific here, but I don't know.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: I think maybe my parents has either one of my parents has maybe apologized, apologized to me maybe once or twice, and I'm an adult.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_01: There's been plenty of opportunities for apology.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so um, yeah, that really blows me up.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, yes, yeah, because you want to be wrong.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_05: And especially to a child, like there, I I was in a conversation with somebody, and they were talking to their kid in a way that I had to turn my head like you're talking to a child like that, and I let them know what I do with Josiah, yeah, and how if I'm wrong, I apologize, which is you know, quite often, and um they said, I don't have to apologize to a child, they're a child, wow, and I said, Well, they're not gonna be a child forever, and you're teaching them how to react, and so how do you think that they're gonna handle things?
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_05: And instead of being able to see yourself and choose to not be a reactive person, or if you do catch yourself being a reactive person, you admit you're wrong, yeah, because they're gonna be gonna know one day, yeah.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, that's so powerful in so many ways, and I'm really um I guess maybe excited and curious to see kind of like the ripple effect that you have created in the generations to come in your family, however they you know may or may not unfold, but to pass that lesson down to Josiah and to see how that really affects him and shapes him as an adult.
• 34:45
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I have a lot of confidence in Josiah's adult version of himself.
• 34:52
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, me too.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's gonna be great.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's a perfect segue into our next question.
• 35:01
  SPEAKER_01: Love how we're doing this.
• 35:02
  SPEAKER_01: Um, how did your relationship change with Josiah as you began healing?
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_05: I would say that it changed.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_05: It changed in the sense of me being more present and more aware.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_05: And I got into meditation and he would see me meditating, and he would want to meditate with me and crystals and things, and so he would pick out his favorite crystal, and then like when my energy was all, he would say, Mom, you need to meditate.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_05: Have you meditated today?
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_05: Like, you're right, but it really helped because like we started to like sync up, you know, and rather than it it me being up here and he's down here, it's like we were like on this wavelength with each other, you know.
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_05: So it's more of a it's more of a understanding, and like rather than it being like me talking at him, I'm talking to him, and I'm giving him the respect, and that was something that I did not have as a child, and so even with that um of my of Josiah younger years, my mom she would say, Oh, you need to whoop him, he shouldn't talk like that.
• 36:48
  SPEAKER_05: I said, He shouldn't talk like that because I gave him space for him to speak his truth, and I told him, I don't care who it is, you always speak your truth, even if it's to me.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_05: Sometimes it's challenging for me, but you know what I say?
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_05: I'm really proud of you.
• 37:12
  SPEAKER_05: I am proud of you for speaking your truth.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_05: I I know it's a hard time right now, but you said it.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_05: You said it, and I'm proud of you.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I do.
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_05: I'm so proud of him.
• 37:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah, it just makes me so, I just feel so touched hearing that.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, it's it's really beautiful because you know, so many people as adults don't speak their truth, they're afraid to speak up and to say what's really on their heart and say what's on their mind.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_01: And um, this is a little off-topic, but not too off-topic.
• 38:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm thinking about the art class, um, a children in art class that I'm taking right now, and how when children are making art, we condition them that it's, you know, it's not good or it's a waste of time or whatever.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but at a very early age, without even really understanding the consequences of what we're doing, we we shut down voices and creativity and expression.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: And these adults go up to be anxious, depressed, and it really does, it really does affect and shape us as adults.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, again, just really excited to see Josiah as an adult.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_05: And you know, I um I really I water his expression of his art of uh you really doing of drawing, of dancing, of singing, and you know, like he'll get random items from around the house and take everything into his room.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_05: And I'm like, Where's my chairs?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_05: Where's my tables?
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_05: And rather than me like say how how my parents probably would have said, Where's my chairs?
• 39:17
  SPEAKER_05: Bring my stuff, bring the stuff back in here.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_05: Like it was always like yo, yo, yo, yo, anxiety, right?
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_05: But instead, it's like, I know what he's doing when he's in here, boom, boom, boom.
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_05: He's in here getting it out, okay?
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_05: Oh he's sweating it out.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, he he he put he put lights on the walls, you know, he makes his own costumes and stuff.
• 39:44
  SPEAKER_05: Like it's like really, really nurture that.
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, because he's gonna be an adult one day.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_05: And he will he will not experience what I did.
• 40:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I will make sure that he does not grow up being anxious and not having a voice.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because he didn't feel safe to speak his truth.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, just admiring you more and more as we go through this all these questions today.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let's shift a little bit, let's talk about um the reparenting journey.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: I know you and I have talked about this many a times, and I'm curious for those of us who have grew up with critical absent or emotionally unavailable parents that tend to be hard on ourselves.
• 40:45
  SPEAKER_01: How did you start treating yourself with more compassion?
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_05: I would say that it began for me.
• 40:57
  SPEAKER_05: I had a spiritual mentor, and she helped me with a lot of shadow work, which was a lot of my inner child wounds.
• 41:14
  SPEAKER_05: And um one thing that I learned that was very simple yet, well, actually, it wasn't so simple, and that was my self-talk.
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_05: It is simple when you are available to do the work, should I say.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_05: Like when you're really like tired of your own mess, that's when you will make that shift.
• 41:45
  SPEAKER_05: And so it was the self-talk for me.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_05: Um when I would make mistakes, I would say, Oh, you're so stupid, why would you do that?
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but then I learned that wait a minute, nobody else is speaking to me like this but me.
• 42:07
  SPEAKER_05: And how does that feel when you speak to yourself?
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_05: And so that that self-awareness of okay, there's a child within me, and I need to speak to this child the way that I would speak to my son, the way that I would speak to my nephew.
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_05: That's that's what I need to do.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_05: And so I started to speak to her like that, and it really shifted my life.
• 42:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's beautiful, yeah.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm curious, did you find yourself being more compassionate with Josiah with Josiah first?
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: And then you started being more compassionate to yourself, or was it the other way around?
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I feel in the in the beginning of my parenting journey.
• 43:10
  SPEAKER_05: Um, because I didn't have that love as a child, it was like, I mean, is there a such thing if you like loving your child too much?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_05: Because it was like I loved him so much I wanted to inhale him.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_05: So like I just wanted to just keep him right here.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_05: So, of course, like the baby stages and things like it was good, right?
• 43:34
  SPEAKER_05: But it was like when he started to develop his his own personality, right?
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_05: It's when it became challenging.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_05: And so it was me having the compassion for him first and not liking what I had the way I was feeling in my body.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_05: And then years down, not too many years, a couple years down.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_05: The road that's when I learned about the self talk.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 44:04
  SPEAKER_05: And that just shifted, just shifted my life.
• 44:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:10
  SPEAKER_01: I just did um an episode recently.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm kind of losing track of this is my second one recording today of like when it aired.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: I think it aired today.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: There we go at the date time we were recording this.
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh the episode's titled How to Have an Excellent Relationship with Yourself.
• 44:28
  SPEAKER_01: And that was what I talked about too was self-talk.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I was working with a therapist who just asked me, like, how do you talk to yourself?
• 44:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Oh, wow, yeah, I'm not talking very nicely to myself.
• 44:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:43
  SPEAKER_01: And that changed a lot for me.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it changed a lot for me too.
• 44:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm curious, what has been the most healing thing for your inner child?
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_05: I would say that the most healing for me was going back to those spaces and time in meditation where things happened to me that I had no control over.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_05: And choosing to shift what happened, like me using my voice.
• 45:42
  SPEAKER_05: So when I was a child, I was molested.
• 45:45
  SPEAKER_05: And when it first happened, or when it happened, period, I never used my voice.
• 45:52
  unknown: Yeah.
• 45:53
  SPEAKER_05: And then I went into meditation one day, and mind you, like I've I've done so much inner child work, but this very particular day, I had no intentions on doing the inner child work.
• 46:10
  SPEAKER_05: But I was taken to the house.
• 46:20
  SPEAKER_05: And next slide, I'm inside the house and in the situation with this person, and I used my voice and I said, no, stop.
• 46:35
  SPEAKER_05: I yelled it, right?
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_05: And so that's why I grew up with my throat chakra blocked.
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_05: I've been in many situations that I did not say anything about.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_05: I didn't try to, or well, yes, there was a time when I didn't even say anything like no, because I was just in like in freeze mode, you know?
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: Which is makes sense.
• 47:06
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_05: And so when I started to work on my throat chakra and to use my voice to say no, and then he stopped.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_05: And if I don't tell you from that meditation, oh my goodness, talking about energy on 10, energy on a thousand.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_05: Okay.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_05: And it's really helped me, like, so so that I can like learn how to, you know, speak my boundaries, you know.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_01: I do know.
• 47:42
  SPEAKER_05: I hope I answered the question.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_05: Did I answer the question?
• 47:44
  SPEAKER_01: You did.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: You perfectly um, I guess, explained um a way in which someone might go about repatterning um some of these early childhood experiences or um reshaping some of these early childhood experiences.
• 48:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I've myself done that in various situations, um, or rather for various situations in my childhood with uh with a somatic therapist.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what we would do.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_01: We would um go back to these really key moments and we would create a different um, I don't know if outcome is the word, but a different response.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I can I can think of one in my mind uh right now, and maybe I'll share it for another day so we don't get too far down the rabbit hole of childhood stories.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: We mentioned that a lot.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_05: That would be real fast.
• 48:44
  SPEAKER_05: Well, I think that's amazing that you did that in therapy.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_05: Yep, and it was like I never even heard about this before.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it was just something that just happened.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's amazing, you know.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's amazing.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: It sounds like you were really tapped into your inner healing intelligence and it took you right where it needed to take you, as it does when we allow ourselves to open it, open up to it and trust it.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I know it's not easy, it is and because everybody's story is different, and there are a lot of scary things that's happened to people, you know, so they don't want to go back to these experiences.
• 49:33
  SPEAKER_05: But what I've learned is that yes, it is it is challenging and it does hurt, but you you you know the saying, you gotta you gotta feel it to heal it.
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_05: It's true, you really gotta feel it.
• 49:47
  SPEAKER_05: Let that shit out of your body, let it out.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_05: It's not serving you.
• 49:52
  SPEAKER_05: So, yes, I've I've had those times and I'm girl, I'm curled up just having that real deep, ugly cry, you know, like yeah, you it's heavy, it's heavy, yeah, but guess what?
• 50:11
  SPEAKER_05: It does not last long, it is a very short time, and what you gain from that in return is priceless, okay?
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, well worth the time and the discomfort in my experience.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, it sounds like a yours too.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, how do you balance reparenting yourself while also actively parenting your son?
• 50:44
  SPEAKER_05: You know, that is a really good question.
• 50:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um because wow, wow, and it's even deeper than that for me because I work in the school as well.
• 51:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and so what I was not prepared for was that when I entered the school, there were gonna be inner child things that came up to be moved through, yeah, and that was just that was very mind-blowing, but very, very powerful.
• 51:17
  SPEAKER_05: Um but I feel that me taking time to allow my inner child to express herself is what's been very helpful to me.
• 51:36
  SPEAKER_05: So that could be with me doing an activity with Josiah, us going somewhere and me not being so serious because I'm an adult, you know, like allow myself to play with him.
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_05: Um, sometimes she wants to color, sometimes she wants to dance.
• 51:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, but just because we are adults doesn't mean that our inner child is still not there wanting to dance and sing and you know, or be an artist or clothing designer or whatever.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, it's like we have to let them know that it's okay, it is safe for you to be seen, for you to be felt, for you to be witnessed.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_05: And so I allow myself to play with Josiah, I allow myself to be in my silence and my solitude.
• 52:31
  SPEAKER_05: Sometimes I think that I'm just going in for a meditation or I'm just being in my flow, and then something really big will come up, and I'll just I'll have to like dive deep.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you know, and it's just it's it's it's very unexpected, but yet it's exactly what I need.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_01: I love what you named about playing with Josiah.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: That's wonderful.
• 52:56
  SPEAKER_01: And I've I've gone on day excursions with you two before.
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: We had a wonderful time.
• 53:02
  SPEAKER_01: My inner child came at home.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:06
  SPEAKER_05: It's never a dull moment with Josiah.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_05: Like, I think I really appreciate him because he really helps.
• 53:15
  SPEAKER_05: Like one of those times when I'm serious.
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_05: Like, mom, don't be so serious.
• 53:20
  SPEAKER_05: He's like, Mom, you gotta trust the process.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_05: You're gonna trust the process.
• 53:26
  SPEAKER_05: And there I am, like, you're right.
• 53:29
  SPEAKER_05: I look like this, then I'm like, you're right.
• 53:31
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my goodness.
• 53:33
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 53:34
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I have to say, he's your son.
• 53:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so he's obviously just how we can learn the being critical and the the um being the judgmental and being all these other things.
• 53:45
  SPEAKER_01: We can also learn how to be uh wise and intuitive and and authentic.
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it sounds like you've really done that successfully with Josiah.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_05: When he was a baby, I didn't do the Google Gaga Gaga talk with him.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_05: Like I would talk how we talk in our like when we get real deep, yeah.
• 54:05
  SPEAKER_05: That's how I would talk to him.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_05: So when I would have all these profound downloads and messages, like I would I would tell him about it.
• 54:14
  SPEAKER_05: He's my best friend.
• 54:16
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 54:17
  SPEAKER_05: And now he talks like an adult.
• 54:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 54:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's really cool.
• 54:24
  SPEAKER_01: I love talking to Josiah.
• 54:27
  SPEAKER_05: He's got something to say.
• 54:30
  SPEAKER_05: The adults are always like, man, he's so cool.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_05: 11-year-old kid.
• 54:42
  SPEAKER_01: Um amazing.
• 54:45
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let's transition um kind of into the last part of the episode where we talk a little bit about um practical tools and things that maybe people can do to start reparenting themselves and to start uh learning how to maybe be that parent that they never had.
• 55:04
  SPEAKER_01: So you've mentioned meditation.
• 55:06
  SPEAKER_01: Are there any other daily practices that have supported you through your healing process?
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_05: Um I would say remember what you like to do as a child.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_05: If you like to color with crayons or draw with crayons on the floor, set yourself up.
• 55:32
  SPEAKER_05: You like to go to the park, you have some nieces or nephews, take them to the park and play.
• 55:39
  SPEAKER_05: You know, allow them to come out and to shine.
• 55:45
  SPEAKER_05: Maybe you were a kid and you like to sing, and someone told you you can't sing, so you stop.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_05: Right, let them come out and sing, and it does not have to just be in the shower, okay?
• 56:02
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't have to be quote unquote good, right?
• 56:05
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have to be right, express just to express, exactly, exactly.
• 56:11
  SPEAKER_05: But yeah, just let them come out and play.
• 56:14
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 56:15
  SPEAKER_05: Let them come out and play, and remember the way you talk to yourself, very, very important.
• 56:26
  SPEAKER_05: Talk to yourself, to your inner child, if you have a child, like you would talk to your child.
• 56:32
  SPEAKER_05: And if and maybe if it's not your child, maybe your relationship is a little different with your child.
• 56:37
  SPEAKER_05: How would you talk to your niece or your nephew?
• 56:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 56:42
  SPEAKER_01: Or I even sometimes I say your best friend, right?
• 56:45
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there we go.
• 56:46
  SPEAKER_05: Your best friend.
• 56:47
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yep.
• 56:50
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 56:51
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, really wonderful invitations.
• 56:54
  SPEAKER_05: And and also those little wins.
• 56:59
  SPEAKER_05: I'm so proud of you.
• 57:00
  SPEAKER_05: You did amazing, you little girl.
• 57:04
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 57:05
  SPEAKER_05: And celebrate like with a popsicle or something with the cookie, you know?
• 57:10
  unknown: Yeah.
• 57:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:13
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I've not that I've ever been anti-celebrating myself or anything.
• 57:17
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I've leaned into it more as I've been on my healing journey.
• 57:22
  SPEAKER_01: And you are someone who's really um like, I don't know, I guess just in some roundabout way of, you know, spending so much time with you and talking to you.
• 57:32
  SPEAKER_01: I've like, I have those celebratory moments um myself a little bit more.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_01: And um, yeah, I just want to thank you for that.
• 57:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 57:46
  SPEAKER_01: Well, how has sound healing supported your nervous system and your emotional well-being?
• 57:51
  SPEAKER_05: We haven't talked much about sound today, and maybe we can do another episode another day, but yes, so I feel that sound healing, it really brings you into this space of peace.
• 58:11
  SPEAKER_05: And it's like the more open and available you are to receive, the more you will receive from the experience.
• 58:22
  SPEAKER_05: And when you allow yourself to let the vibrations move out that stuck and stagnant energy in your body, like you'd say, Oh, I feel I feel like this pressure in my heart, I feel like something moving in my heart space.
• 58:40
  SPEAKER_05: You know, really allow yourself to receive because sometimes it's not always easy for people to go to therapy or let it out of their body and dance or play or whatever, it's not always that easy.
• 59:00
  SPEAKER_02: Right.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_05: And so by attending a sound bath, a sound healing, a sound journey, it really brings you into like the present moment.
• 59:12
  SPEAKER_05: And as you set your intention of I want to let go of the stagnant energy from my childhood, yeah, you'll be very surprised of what you could experience from being in a sound journey.
• 59:39
  SPEAKER_05: And also be very mindful of the person's energy that you receive from.
• 59:46
  SPEAKER_05: Even if you if you go and you're like, uh, something's off, but I pay no money, so I'm gonna stay, you might want to think twice about that.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because when someone is offering you sound healing, I feel that they are they're sharing their heart song with you.
• 1:00:10
  SPEAKER_05: And just because people are are quote unquote healers, um you just need to be mindful of who you receive from because you're receiving their energy, you know?
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, and so just make sure that you feel safe, you know, that you feel like it's a really safe space so that you can be open and vulnerable to receive, yeah, and to let go of what no longer serves you.
• 1:00:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's a really great point that you've named here because these are such deep and painful and vulnerable uh wounds inside of ourselves.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_01: And we want to make sure that whatever we're doing, whether it's therapy or sound healing or dance or discussion, that we are in an environment where we feel safe enough to do so.
• 1:01:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, wonderful.
• 1:01:11
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, sound is such an incredible tool and resource.
• 1:01:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I really like what you mentioned about it not necessarily being easy for some people to go to therapy or to outwardly express themselves in some way, and sound healing being like a more uh accessible way that people can start to do that deeper work without having to, you know, outwardly sing or or dance or go sit face to face with someone.
• 1:01:37
  SPEAKER_01: There's a lot of work that you can do um on your own just through through vibrations.
• 1:01:42
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, everything is vibrations.
• 1:01:44
  SPEAKER_01: We are vibrations and we can even be our own sound healer in this way, toning, singing, yeah, coming, yeah.
• 1:01:56
  SPEAKER_05: And I will say that I also know that it's not easy for a lot of people to feel comfortable to close their eyes in a sound healing, yeah.
• 1:02:10
  SPEAKER_05: And so that is why, like, really feeling to the energy of the person, like the first thing that comes to your mind, if it's oh, I feel at home, or oh, pay attention to that, yes, but um, yeah, because you know it's darkness when you close your eyes, you know, yes, and some of us have a lot of darkness, but that's where you find yourself is in your darkness, yeah.
• 1:02:40
  SPEAKER_05: So just you know, allow yourself to be held and make sure that the person that is holding you in that space feels safe so that you can feel safe to close your eyes and to journey within your darkness to find your light.
• 1:03:03
  SPEAKER_05: And there's so much light in there, too, by the way.
• 1:03:10
  SPEAKER_01: That was very beautifully said.
• 1:03:13
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
• 1:03:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 1:03:16
  SPEAKER_01: Well, we've already kind of named a few things here, but are there any other things that people might be able to start incorporating?
• 1:03:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, specifically like sound or meditation or anything else that they might be um yeah, able to incorporate.
• 1:03:34
  SPEAKER_05: I mean, like I said before, the fastest thing, the easiest thing that you can do is to allow your inner child to play.
• 1:03:46
  SPEAKER_05: A lot of us like to do the coloring, the video games.
• 1:03:50
  unknown: Yeah.
• 1:03:51
  SPEAKER_05: Do stuff like do stuff like that.
• 1:03:53
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:03:54
  SPEAKER_05: Do stuff like that.
• 1:03:56
  SPEAKER_05: If you and also like um uh play dates.
• 1:04:02
  SPEAKER_05: You can literally create a play date with your friends.
• 1:04:06
  SPEAKER_05: Oh hey, like let's go to the roller rink or something, you know, to the to the to the skating rink, you know.
• 1:04:13
  SPEAKER_05: I don't know about y'all, but in Sacramento, um, the skating rink was the spot, okay?
• 1:04:22
  SPEAKER_05: And so whenever I go there, it's like nostalgic, girl.
• 1:04:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, totally.
• 1:04:30
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I mean, just you know, even if it's not you singing or dancing or something, even if it's a drawing, if you love to draw as a kid, you know?
• 1:04:38
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, like these are these are very simple things that you can do.
• 1:04:42
  SPEAKER_05: And I also know that meditation is not that easy for people either.
• 1:04:46
  SPEAKER_05: And so what you can do is get on YouTube, like there's so many amazing meditations, guided meditations to connect with your inner child.
• 1:04:59
  SPEAKER_05: Do you know that you can have a deep dive in five minutes?
• 1:05:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, I've had one with you before, and I use guided meditations, it's it's a big part of my healing process.
• 1:05:11
  SPEAKER_01: Is like meditations, especially if I can't go to therapy, whether it's just like school or it's just not my budget that month.
• 1:05:18
  SPEAKER_01: I uh I talk about insight timer a lot here because I'm a teacher on insight timer, and I meditate on insight timer too pretty much every day.
• 1:05:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's so many resources out there when we just take the time to to find them.
• 1:05:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like they're there for you.
• 1:05:35
  SPEAKER_05: And I know there's like a lot of there's a lot of things that can, I guess, potentially like be in your way or or not, not even that.
• 1:05:48
  SPEAKER_05: There's a lot of excuses that people use.
• 1:05:52
  SPEAKER_05: Oh, I don't have enough time to do that.
• 1:05:53
  SPEAKER_05: I don't have time to do that.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:05:55
  SPEAKER_05: What time do you spend scrolling on your phone on Instagram, TikTok?
• 1:06:00
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, Twitter.
• 1:06:02
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:06:04
  SPEAKER_05: Nobody's in your way.
• 1:06:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:06:07
  SPEAKER_05: Nothing or no one is in your way.
• 1:06:09
  SPEAKER_05: Nothing is blocking you from you having the life that you want.
• 1:06:16
  SPEAKER_05: If you are tired of having different patterns show up in relationships, in any kind of relationship, then choose to do the work.
• 1:06:26
  SPEAKER_05: It usually comes from a childhood wound.
• 1:06:32
  SPEAKER_05: So all the shadow, I mean a lot of the shadow work is from inner child wounds.
• 1:06:40
  SPEAKER_05: And you do not, you don't need anyone to help you.
• 1:06:46
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, there are many people who are out there who can help you, but when you think about it, we're really just spaceholders.
• 1:06:54
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
• 1:06:55
  SPEAKER_05: And you're the one who does the work.
• 1:06:58
  SPEAKER_05: We create those safe and sacred spaces for you.
• 1:07:03
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, we may help you get to the bridge.
• 1:07:06
  SPEAKER_05: We may walk you there visually to get to the bridge, but you're the one who has to do the movement with your feet.
• 1:07:12
  SPEAKER_05: You're the one who has to go back to those spaces and places and times and do that inner work.
• 1:07:18
  SPEAKER_05: We can't go in there and do that work for you.
• 1:07:22
  SPEAKER_05: It's your deep dive.
• 1:07:24
  SPEAKER_05: Yes.
• 1:07:25
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:07:26
  SPEAKER_01: Beautifully said again.
• 1:07:28
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
• 1:07:29
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, you're absolutely remember when you're tired of your own shit, you will make the necessary changes to have the life that you want.
• 1:07:40
  SPEAKER_05: And I don't completely know what's going on with the world right now on the planet and the stars, but what I do know is that this is a great fucking time to be alive.
• 1:07:48
  SPEAKER_05: This is an amazing time to be alive.
• 1:07:51
  SPEAKER_05: This is an amazing time for you to do that inner child work, for you to manifest your best life.
• 1:07:59
  SPEAKER_05: Despite what they are showing you on the news and in social media, this is an amazing time to be alive.
• 1:08:08
  SPEAKER_05: And it will be exactly what you want it to be.
• 1:08:12
  SPEAKER_05: If you think that it's rainbows and butterflies, and oh my goodness, my life is getting my life is is amazing, and I'm so excited for what's to come, and I'm meeting all these amazing people, and you're just putting all this energy out, it's going to be that.
• 1:08:28
  SPEAKER_05: Not saying that it's always going to feel like that, but as long as you keep your focus there, but if you think, oh my goodness, the world's about to end, they're about to be World War III, oh my goodness, that's gonna be your reality.
• 1:08:40
  SPEAKER_05: So you have the power to create your own reality.
• 1:08:44
  SPEAKER_05: The power lies within your tongue.
• 1:08:47
  SPEAKER_05: So are you casting spells over yourself by the words that you speak, even with the talk that you how you talk to your inner child?
• 1:08:57
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's just like a compressor.
• 1:08:59
  SPEAKER_05: Every time you talk to the inner child as bad, it's like those negative words, like you're so dumb, mm-hmm.
• 1:09:06
  SPEAKER_05: And you feel it in your body, yeah.
• 1:09:08
  SPEAKER_05: So you you have the power to pull yourself out of the mud.
• 1:09:15
  SPEAKER_05: Yes, there's many people who can help you, and if you feel like you need help, I highly recommend getting some assistance, yeah.
• 1:09:24
  SPEAKER_05: But you have to be the one to say, hey, I'm ready to get out of my own way, and do what you need to do, period.
• 1:09:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely right.
• 1:09:40
  SPEAKER_01: I love just listening to you go.
• 1:09:42
  SPEAKER_01: That was that was really beautiful.
• 1:09:44
  SPEAKER_01: Like, wow, she's going right now.
• 1:09:48
  SPEAKER_01: Love that.
• 1:09:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, Amora, though that felt like some very powerful closing words to me, but are there any other closing words that you you might want to offer here?
• 1:10:04
  SPEAKER_05: I would say that there's no one coming to save you.
• 1:10:10
  SPEAKER_05: That it is you, and that it is you that you've been waiting for and searching for this whole time.
• 1:10:20
  SPEAKER_05: It's no one or nothing outside of you.
• 1:10:23
  SPEAKER_05: It's you.
• 1:10:24
  SPEAKER_05: And so when you can become best friends with your body and with your inner child, and learn how to reset your nervous system and really come home to your center, there's literally nothing that you can't do.
• 1:10:46
  SPEAKER_05: I know it sounds like a lot, but it's a lot to stay in a life that you don't like.
• 1:10:53
  SPEAKER_05: It's a lot to stay in a relationship that you don't like, in a job that you don't like.
• 1:10:58
  SPEAKER_05: It's a lot.
• 1:11:00
  SPEAKER_05: So you can choose today to be that parent that you wish you had.
• 1:11:09
  SPEAKER_05: You can.
• 1:11:11
  SPEAKER_05: And it's very rewarding.
• 1:11:14
  SPEAKER_05: And if you have kids, you can choose to be that parent that you wish you had.
• 1:11:22
  SPEAKER_05: Not saying it's always gonna be easy, but it's worth it.
• 1:11:27
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's worth it and talk and and talk to your children like how you would talk to your brother or your sister, you know, like you would keep it real with them, you know?
• 1:11:44
  SPEAKER_05: Yeah, keep it real with your kids, you know.
• 1:11:48
  SPEAKER_05: I know their kids, they're not gonna be kids forever.
• 1:11:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Wonderful closing words for today.
• 1:11:59
  SPEAKER_01: And Amora, if people want to connect with you or learn more about your work, where can people find you?
• 1:12:08
  SPEAKER_05: So you can find me on Instagram at soundoflove888, and you can email me at soundoflovc at gmail.com.
• 1:12:25
  SPEAKER_01: Wonderful.
• 1:12:26
  SPEAKER_01: We'll put all of that in the show notes for listeners to connect with you if they'd like.
• 1:12:31
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks so much for everyone who's tuned in today.
• 1:12:35
  SPEAKER_01: If there is someone in your life who you feel like could benefit from this conversation, we invite you to share your takeaway from today's show and to share today's episode with a friend so that we collectively can continue slowly and surely breaking these cycles so that we can create a world with more harmony, more compassion, more gentleness, more understanding.
• 1:13:08
  SPEAKER_01: And as we do that, we can bring more harmony and more balance to our patriarchal world that we live in.
• 1:13:17
  SPEAKER_01: So we would greatly appreciate you helping us spread this message today, and we very much look forward to connecting with you on the next episode.
• 1:13:26
  SPEAKER_01: In the meantime, take care of yourself and take care of each other.