Latest / Outspoken the Podcast / TMG: The Real Story Behind Elle Swift's Postpartum Pep Talk

Transcript

TMG: The Real Story Behind Elle Swift's Postpartum Pep Talk · Outspoken the Podcast

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: Hello and welcome to the Mums Group you actually want
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: to be a part of. I'm Amy Torber and I'm
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: joined by my sisters and journalists, Kate and Sophie. And
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: on today's show, the real story behind Elle Swift's recent pep.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Talk to postpartum mums.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: The unpopular parenting opinion blowing up on social media, and
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: the famous TikToker who wants to move back in.
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: With her parents. But first, Kate and Soph, how have
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: your weeks been?
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in this weird transitional phase at
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: the moment with my son's sleep because he is turning
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: 15 months tomorrow and that's when you're supposed to drop
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: the morning nap. But I feel like I'm sort of
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: grieving it because I loved that morning nap. That was
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: my time to do my makeup. to, you know, have
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: a bit of a sit down after the hectic morning,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: spend time with my dog. But now he has been
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: fighting the nap. Like the only way I can get
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: him to do the nap is if he lies on me.
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: And that's not a break for you, is it?
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: No. I mean, it's kind of nice to lie down
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: and have him lie on me. But, yeah, it's not
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: the refresher that I need. I think there should be
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: an intervention. You need to get rid of the morning nap.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: And you need to actually stick with it because you've
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: tried a couple of times and then you revert back
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: to it.
• 1:14
  Speaker 1: Look, the reason why I reverted back to it is
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: because I went to the Bible, I went to Dr.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Goley's sleep guide, and it says that you shouldn't drop
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: it before 15 months. So I want to stick to
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: the rules because when we did drop it, he literally
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: was randomly waking up in the middle of the night.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: And I was like, I can't, I can't do this
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: because he sleeps really well overnight. Like we get 11,
• 1:35
  Speaker 1: 12 hours out of him because we have been doing Dr.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Golly since he was like three months old.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: I can actually hear some of the mum's group cursing
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: you right now.
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: No, I know. And that's the thing.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Like, If it ain't broke, don't fix it has sort
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: of been my mentality, but he is getting older. So
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: I think my days will be better without the morning nap.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I just need to pull the bandaid off.
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: I want to apologize in advance to the mums listeners
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: for having to listen to my croaky voice.
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: It's so strange. I'm not sick. My only symptom is
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: this croaky voice.
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: I think it's just a result of everything finally catching
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: up to me and being completely run down.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: Ever since you made that comment about how terrible it
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: was when Laura Henshaw appeared on the kick pod without
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: a voice, I feel like you have been struck down
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: many times and And you could just not record.
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 2:18
  Speaker 1: I was going to float that idea past you guys
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: after listening to Tuesday's episode of Outspoken and being like, fuck,
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: that's annoying.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: But then I thought you might be mad at me.
• 2:26
  Speaker 1: No, you're a bit of a control freak. I think
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: that's what it is. You don't want to miss out.
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: You don't trust Sophie and I. That's the reality. Do
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: you know what's so funny? Whilst you were speaking, Kate,
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: then it was so rude. I was not paying attention
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: to you because I've been so focused this week. I
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: wanted to film one of those day in the life
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: of a mum, you know, carousel post things. Like I've
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: been putting one together and poor Amy, we caught up
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: and I've just been snapping photos of everything. So I thought, oh,
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: this is a perfect moment. I'm going to get a
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: photo of me doing the podcast with my baby monitor
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: and Archie in it. It was just picture perfect. You
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: did embarrass me at my local because you decided to
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: take a photo of me with my marcher.
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: And I was just like, I don't want to look
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: as if I've asked you to take this photo like this.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: I know these people. This is not what we do.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: But anyway, do you know what? Some of those carousels
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: seem like a bit of a dick measuring competition of
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: how much you've done during the day. Like it almost
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: seems like a passive aggressive swipe at your partner because
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I caught myself taking a photo of me unstacking the dishwasher.
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, what am I doing?
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: Even though my husband literally does more cleaning in the
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: kitchen than me.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: But you know what it is?
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: It's because some of those day in the lives look
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: like you've had the most amazing time.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Like you've been out to coffee, you've been on a walk,
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: you've been to the park.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: But it's not as if you're going to take a
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: photo of all of the unpleasant things you've done, like
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: wiping asses and putting babies down for naps and all
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: that kind of stuff.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: Now, Amy, I know you've got something that you want
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: to vent about to the mums group, and I'm pretty
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: sure your husband, Dale, stopped listening after like episode four.
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: So you've got free reign. In episode four, I don't
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: even think he made it through the first episode.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: So I'm safe to say whatever, unless your husbands report back.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: But it's not whinging about him.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: It's more that I think my husband is addicted to Amazon.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Aren't they all?
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: I think ever since we had Harry, every day we've
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: had an Amazon delivery come to the house. And it
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: is the fast postage, I think, that appeals to Dale.
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: But my issue now is that anytime he's at work
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: and he thinks, oh, Harry needs something, We suddenly get
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: the ugliest stuff delivered to our door. So the other day,
• 4:21
  Speaker 1: Dale realized that we didn't have many t-shirts in Harry's
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: size because he's gotten bigger. The next day at the door,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I opened this package containing all these brightly colored t-shirts,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: like the cheapest t-shirts you've ever seen with all these
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: animals over them. And I said to Dale, I said,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but I'm trying to be a bit chic
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: with what, like just get a plain oversized t-shirt. None
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: of this awful Amazon shit. Like it's all from Timu.
• 4:46
  Speaker 2: And they just sell it for like three times the price.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: The same thing happened to me when we ran out
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: of those Bond's wonder suits. Reese was like, nah, I've
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: got it under control.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: I'll make an order. And they were the ugliest ones.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: But it was so funny because I remember back when
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: you were, you know, in the depths of sleep deprivation.
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: And if Jack slept really well in a particular suit,
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: we'd dress him in that again. And there was this
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: really ugly lightning bolt Bond suit that he always wore
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: because he slept so well in it. But I absolutely
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: hated it.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Is that the lightning bolt suit that Harry had a
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: massive blowout in? Because I feel like I had a
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: different association with that suit when Amy passed it on
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: to me.
• 5:19
  Speaker 2: I told her to throw it out. But that's the thing.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: There were certain suits that you feel like they would
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: sleep really well in, but there were also the blowout suits.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Like anytime I put him in a certain suit, I'm like.
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Maybe it's because it's ugly. He's like, oh, I feel
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: comfortable doing a blowout in this one. Dad ordered this
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: off Amazon.
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: So is Branson an Amazon fiend or is it just
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: Dale and Reese?
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: He's more of a brick and mortar sort of purchaser.
• 5:39
  Speaker 1: Like he works in the city. So whenever he goes
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: past like a nice shop he goes in, he loves
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: Country Road. So it was so funny the other day
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: I was complaining that I needed a backpack for Luca. Anyway,
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: he brought home this really nice gingham, like it's literally
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: me in a backpack, I'd say, from Country Road. And
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: you guys were laughing because you were like, hold on,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I thought you were just getting some crappy one from
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: Big W with dinosaurs on it. Yeah, I thought it
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: was going to be like the bluey backpack that Dale
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: went and got Harry from Big W. But we were
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: more joking that it was Luca's backpack because you joked
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: that his favorite color is beige. He's like a backpack
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: no child would actually ever want to wear. I think
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I've become a bit better with that sort of stuff though.
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: Like currently at the moment, his playpen, which was very
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: aesthetic at one point, has got a lot of colour
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: going on. I allowed a Lightning McQueen toy box that
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Dale very kindly purchased me. I don't know if that
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: was from Amazon or somewhere else. That was from Bunnings.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: That is sitting prior to place in there.
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: This is my issue though.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I'm sick of the Amazon deliveries because it's just adding
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: to crap in our house. Like the other day, Harry
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: showed interest in me sweeping up. So he goes and
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: grabs the broom and then suddenly Dale's ordered. a cleaning
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: set to the house with the ugliest plastic brooms. I'm like, Dale,
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: we don't need this shit. He can just use the
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: real broom. Do you want Brandon to have a chat
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: to him? Because we do have a rule that the
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: baby stuff needs to be aesthetic if it's going to
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: enter the house. Look, I had a bit of a
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: stern chat with him, which I may have offended him,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: but he seems to know now not to buy anything
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: like that. He even apologised when the colourful t-shirts rocked up.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: He's like, I'm so sorry.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Not to sound ungrateful.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: But how shit is it when someone gives you a
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: gift for your kid and it's massive and you have
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to keep it in your house and you're like, for.
• 7:16
  Speaker 2: Fuck's sake, I don't want it.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: I thought you were going to say if it was
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: ugly clothing and you have to like have them wear
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: it at least once to take a photo with it.
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: No, it's just actually I'm going to put you under
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: the bus here, Amy.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Your presents to Jack at Christmas time was so nice,
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: but they weren't on the approved shopping list. So it
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: was like this massive remote control car and this other
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: remote control car.
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: And I ended up having to throw the purple one
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: out because it broke.
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: Kate literally has a Google doc full of approved presents
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: for Jack with prices and links to them. Like I
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: don't know where that level of organization comes from. It
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: is very handy because otherwise I'd have, well, now I
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: have more of an idea, but before having a child,
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: I would have had no idea what to get him.
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: I don't like it because then I feel like I
• 7:56
  Speaker 1: haven't actually made the effort of choosing the gift. Like
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: it just feels like I'm putting money into something and
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: it has had no thought.
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: But this is the thing.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: You don't want people to waste their money and you
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: also don't want large items of crap in your house
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: taking up room.
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: So I thought it was helpful.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: I think if someone has taken the time to write
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: a list, then just stick to the list. It's sort
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: of like with a baby registry. Just purchase something off it.
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: I'm on top of the world, babe. I'm living a
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: great life. My kids are my bestest friends. I'm out
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: of the newborn stage. It's a gorgeous stage, but we
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: all know it takes out of you after a nine-month pregnancy.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: UK influencer Elle Swift has done quite the number on us.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Back in July, she delivered quite the pep talk to
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: postpartum mums in the thick of it, telling them to
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: remember they're just a girl and hot ones at that.
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: The mum of three went on to say she was
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: on top of the world now she was out of
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: the newborn stage and preached to other mums to fill
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: up their own cups. Now, it seemed like her endorphins
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: were flowing after a solo shopping trip, so much so
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: that she dropped that she was actually considering having a
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: fourth child. and even felt like she could tackle twins.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: It turns out she was actually five weeks pregnant whilst
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: delivering this public service announcement, Kate.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: I almost felt a little bit tricked after hearing that
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: to find out that presumably she knew she was pregnant
• 9:12
  Speaker 3: when she put this statement out.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was super confused by this because I feel
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: like the wool has been pulled over my eyes. I
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: got quite pumped up when I heard her talking about
• 9:22
  Speaker 1: being a hot mum and, you know, being on top
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: of the world. But I mean, maybe it was just
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: the pregnancy hormones rushing through her body.
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: But normally you feel like shit during the first trimester.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: So I'm surprised she was giving such a pep talk.
• 9:33
  Speaker 1: That's the other thing. She has since gone on to
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: say that the first trimester has been absolutely hideous and
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: she's felt sick for most of it.
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: So I was like, was she just acting? Was she
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: just putting that on?
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: In that video, she also referenced that she felt like
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: she could tackle having twins.
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: Was that another clue that she's dropping?
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: No, I actually don't think it is because in her
• 9:51
  Speaker 1: most recent post about her pregnancy, She shared a photo
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: of her and her three kids and her husband sitting
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: on a blanket and she wrote, all six of us.
• 10:00
  Speaker 1: So that means just one baby.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Well, you make a good point. Let's talk about how
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: she broke the news.
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: So earlier this week, she shared the update to her
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: 640,000 Instagram followers writing, turns out the best chapter was
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: still waiting for us. Baby number four will be here
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: in spring. Now this post got a lot of attention.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: It had 169,000 likes and 1.6 thousand comments.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: Sophie, you'll be very excited to know that Molly May commented.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: Oh my God. Congratulations, guys.
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: Wow. I didn't know that they were in each other's all,
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: but I know they're both from the UK, but that's interesting.
• 10:33
  Speaker 3: I have to say, this is one of my favorite
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: pregnancy posts I've seen for a while. The aesthetic was
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: absolutely on point.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: So the video and also photos were shot in the
• 10:42
  Speaker 1: gardens of this really beautiful old English manor, and it
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: just looked so whimsical. And she was surrounded by her
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: three children. Now, they are absolutely gorgeous children. I can't
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: get over the fact that her son, Saint Seven Swift,
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: is now five.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: It feels like yesterday that we were reporting on his name.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, did she get inspiration from Seinfeld with the
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: middle name Seven? People who have watched that iconic show
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: will know that that was George Costanza's baby name. And
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: he was very upset because someone stole it from him.
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: He was standing in the hospital screaming. Seven. I'm very
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: excited to see what this fourth baby is called because
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: she's got a bit of a theme.
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: So you've got Saint, then Romeo, and then Honey. So
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: it's obviously going to be another unique name. These are
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: also the Beckham's children's names. They've got Romeo and Harper's
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: middle name is Seven. So could we see still another
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: name from the Beckhams?
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: Well, I don't think they'll be going for the name
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: Brooklyn considering the family fallout. They don't want to, you know,
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: preempt something like that happening with their family.
• 11:39
  Speaker 2: Nicola might be scrubbed off as well.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: Mm-hmm. I really liked that after this aesthetic post that
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: Elle kept it real to her Instagram followers because she
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: explained that at the moment she's around 13 weeks pregnant
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: and she's already experiencing symptoms that she experienced in her
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: third trimester. So she's really worried about how she's going
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: to fare for the rest of the pregnancy. Yeah, I
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: saw these Instagram stories pop up and she was talking
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: about how this time around her body just knows exactly
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: what it's doing. And she was talking about how remarkable
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: it is. That, you know, your body's just like, yep,
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: we've done this before. We've actually done this four times now. Yeah.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, four times in the last five years. That's
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: absolutely crazy.
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: She's giving Jade Tunchi a run for her money at
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: the moment.
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: Have you guys tuned into one of her vlogs recently?
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: Because I hadn't watched one for years since she was
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: involved in that big scandal. And her whole vibe is different.
• 12:28
  Speaker 1: Like they have this absolutely massive house and it's just
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: this dream house for the kids. They've got like this
• 12:34
  Speaker 1: playground in the backyard. For those who don't know what
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: Amy's talking about in terms of the controversy, A couple
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: of years ago, some old tweets resurfaced that she made
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: like a decade ago that had some racist comments in them.
• 12:47
  Speaker 1: So she was cancelled for quite some time. She actually
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: moved to the US. That took a bit of heat
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: off her. She's since moved back to the UK. Yeah,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: and her channel now is very much a family one,
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: which isn't really surprising when.
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: You've got three kids. You have to evolve, don't you?
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: I loved her Christmas content. I might have to start
• 13:04
  Speaker 3: tuning back in to enjoy that.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: I want to live with my mom. I want my
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: mom to live with me.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: US TikToker Abby Herbert has divided opinions after asking her
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: 15 million followers if she was crazy for wanting to
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: live with her extended family in one big house.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Let's take a listen to what she said. Can we
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: normalize being 30 years old, married with three kids and
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: still wanting to live with your parents? Every time I
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: tell people, they look at me like I'm crazy, but
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: I want to live with my mom.
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: I I want to live with my mom. I want
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: my mom to live with me.
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: When did this become a thing to like not live
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: with your parents forever? Like if I'm just being 100%
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: honest right now, I would rather be sleeping in bed
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: with my mom than my husband. Like I really would.
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: My parents never slept together. I slept with my mom.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: Like I literally slept in my mom's bed and me
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: and my mom are like this.
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: Look, she lost me at the part where she said
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: she'd rather sleep in bed with her mom than her husband.
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: That's a little bit far for me. Other than that though,
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: I totally get it. And I think it's quite a
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: common feeling when you have young kids because what you're
• 14:08
  Speaker 3: longing for is help and also for someone to baby you.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: And the only person that can genuinely do that is
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: your mum.
• 14:15
  Speaker 1: I've heard a lot of people say that once you
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: have a baby, you are no longer the baby because
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: when you're pregnant, all of the attention's on you.
• 14:22
  Speaker 2: It's like, how are you feeling?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: You know, are you okay? And then once that baby's there,
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: it's all about them, which is totally understandable. But in
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: this scenario, you can sort of be the baby again.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: On the other hand, I'm getting flashbacks to that Seinfeld
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: episode where George goes to live with his parents and
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Jerry does that stand-up bit that's like, in no world
• 14:40
  Speaker 1: does returning home to live with your parents ever sound
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: like a step forward.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: It's like, yeah, I've moved to New York and I've
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: moved back in with the parents. Josh doesn't like the bananas.
• 14:49
  Speaker 2: That's all I get in my head.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: That's a different scenario though because that's a single man
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: moving back in with your parents. I think there's something
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: different about a family deciding to move back in with
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: their family.
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: I mean, obviously.
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: this type of multi-generational household is actually pretty common in
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: South Asia, the Middle East, Southern Europe.
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: Maybe we're doing it wrong.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: We're actually seeing more people in Australia moving back in
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: with their parents. That is obviously to do with the
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: cost of living crisis we're experiencing. I also think people
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: are yearning for a village. And we have this generation
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: where mums are expected to return to work almost instantly.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: So it makes a lot of sense from that perspective too.
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: to be able to have inbuilt babysitters.
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: Well, Abby actually said that she begged her mum to
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: quit her job so she could take care of her children.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: In terms of this becoming more of a trend in Australia,
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: The Australian actually reported that the new big property trend
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: is three generations under one roof. And by 2046, reports
• 15:47
  Speaker 3: predict that 28% of Australian adults could actually.
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: Live with their parents.
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: And this situation is actually changing what retirement looks like
• 15:55
  Speaker 3: because many people are now retiring from still with a mortgage.
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: So sharing it with your adult children and their kids
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: is actually helping everyone and becoming a lot more socially acceptable.
• 16:05
  Speaker 1: This whole situation makes me feel quite sorry for boomers
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: and also Gen Xers because they've raised their kids, they've
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: then worked for majority of their lives. And then when
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: it's their time to put their feet up and enjoy
• 16:18
  Speaker 1: themselves and go on their holidays, then it seems like
• 16:21
  Speaker 1: they've got round two and they've got to bring up
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: their grandkids. Like I understand that that's no one's fault,
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: but it's a difficult situation, isn't it?
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: I wonder if they feel the same when the roles
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: eventually switch and it's them then having to take care
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: of their parents as well as their older children. Is
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: that when they then suddenly decide that they want to
• 16:40
  Speaker 3: live separately? Because in those countries where it's the norm
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: to live in a multi-generational household, you look after your parents.
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: That's kind of the.
• 16:47
  Speaker 3: Point of you moving in with them. And traditionally, as women,
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: you normally live with your husband's family and So that
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: means women having to look after their in-laws and there's
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: so many more duties for women in general.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: Look, I absolutely adore my parents. And as an adult,
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: I love spending time with them. Like we are over
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: at their house all of the time, especially with the
• 17:06
  Speaker 1: little boys. And it is so nice having their support
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: and their help. But I don't, I just love living
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: by myself, like with my husband and, you know, your
• 17:15
  Speaker 1: own little family. Like sometimes you just need space.
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: I feel like sometimes when you go back to your parents' house,
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: you revert back to you as a child as well.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: So firstly, that's not really fair on your parents. Secondly,
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: having the experience of living out of home and having
• 17:28
  Speaker 3: to go back, as you said, would be really difficult
• 17:30
  Speaker 3: because you now have your way of how you want
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: to do things, how you want to decorate the place.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: I think potentially I could live with mum again, but
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: no disrespect to dad, definitely not dad. I think dad
• 17:42
  Speaker 3: is so set in his ways because he's been retired
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: for what, 12 years?
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Our mum's not yet retired. So he really rules the
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: roost at home. And I couldn't fit into that. I
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: do have to point out that for a lot of Australians,
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: it isn't their choice to move back in with their families.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: It's out of necessity and financial strain. That being said,
• 17:59
  Speaker 1: I do think that there are some perks. And I
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: think that having that family support around you constantly would
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: be helpful.
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Abby actually said something about how she was open to
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: having her sister and her husband also move into this
• 18:12
  Speaker 3: big house that she spoke about.
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: We floated this idea quite often.
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: Sometimes we're like, oh, if we pulled up all of
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: our finances together, we could, you know, get a nice
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: house and all live together. I think that would turn
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: bad so quickly. I mean, it sounds fun in theory,
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: but I think that when you've got too many people
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: in the house and too many big personalities, people can
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: clash and you just need your time on your own,
• 18:34
  Speaker 3: don't you? Maybe the answer is living on the same street,
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: you know, and everybody loves Raymond's situation.
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: I have family friends and there is a brother and
• 18:42
  Speaker 1: sister who And they live in a small country town
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: and they literally live next door to each other. And
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: they both have young kids.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: Does that mean they've got a big block? Like, is
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: it kind of a hike to get to the door?
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: No, it's not. It's sort of like a suburban street. Like,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: it's just a sort of normal sized house.
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: We were almost in a similar situation, Soph, because you
• 18:59
  Speaker 3: put in an offer on a house on our street. Now,
• 19:02
  Speaker 3: our street is pretty long. So it probably would have
• 19:04
  Speaker 3: been like, I don't know, a two minute walk. I'm
• 19:07
  Speaker 3: so disappointed that that didn't happen.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Oh, it would have been so good, especially those fresh
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: postpartum days to have that support.
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: I recently saw these influencers who were just about to
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: have kids and they're like, oh.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: It's so good.
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: Like our whole friendship group, we're all having babies at
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: the same time.
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: And I was thinking. it's only good if you are
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: literally two minutes down the road from each other. Like
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: it does not work otherwise, trying to factor in nap times.
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: And it's that whole thing of, you know, you really
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: do want to catch up with your mum friends, but
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: if you are not on the same schedule, or as
• 19:38
  Speaker 1: I said, don't live like two minutes down the road,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: unfortunately it doesn't work out. A TikToker called Lisa has
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: shared her unpopular parenting opinion online and it has absolutely
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: blown up. at the time of recording it has received
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: 378 000 views and over 1.6 000 comments i'm interested
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: to hear your thoughts let's take a listen this might.
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: Be an unpopular opinion but i believe how you present
• 20:04
  Speaker 4: your kids the world matters And no, I'm not saying
• 20:07
  Speaker 4: your toddler needs to be dressed like they're going to
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: a photo shoot every day. But when we are going
• 20:11
  Speaker 4: to somewhere important like school, a doctor's appointment, a birthday
• 20:15
  Speaker 4: party or a school event, I want them to look
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: put together. Because whether we like it or not, people
• 20:21
  Speaker 4: make assumptions based on what they say.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: My initial reaction was a little bit defensive because I'm like,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: are we really judging children differently?
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: On how they look.
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: Because in reality, the judgment should be placed on the
• 20:32
  Speaker 3: parents because it's them who present their children to the world.
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: But exactly.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: She sees her kids as a representation of her and
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: what kind of parent she is. And that's why she
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: feels so strongly about this. I mean, if anything, if
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: I were to catch up with a mum friend and
• 20:46
  Speaker 1: her kid had a jumper on with stains on the front,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: I'd think, I feel you. Like, I respect this because
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: how hard is it to keep kids' clothing clean? Like,
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: the other day I put a jumper on Harry and
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: within two minutes he'd got yogurt all down the front.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: It just reminds me, the other day we were FaceTiming
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: and you're like, oh, sorry, excuse Harry, he's got a
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: bit of text on him.
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: He literally had, like, text all drawn over his onesie.
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: It was so cute.
• 21:08
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he discovered how to open the texters, which was great.
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: The other tough thing is when they're teething and they've literally, like,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: whatever you do, they've got dribble down their front.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: And my son.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: As soon as he's been drinking from his little drink bottle,
• 21:22
  Speaker 1: he drinks the water and then spits it all over
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: his front. And I'm like, well, how can I control that?
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: Like I can't bring a hundred outfits with me. I
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: respect the mums whose kids are walking around a bit
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: grubby because I think they must be having a good time.
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: Like if you're two put together, they're probably not out
• 21:37
  Speaker 1: in the mud. They're probably not having fun. I mean,
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: this is coming off the back of me judging my
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: husband's choice of clothing. So I can kind of see
• 21:45
  Speaker 1: in some instances where there are some particular clothes that
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: that you do not want.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: Your child rocking up in.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: But I think that if they're a little bit messy,
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: that's just a given of having a toddler.
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: Well, it surprised me because the majority of commenters actually
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: agreed with what Lisa said. And there were comments like, yes,
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: your child must have their hair brushed, their skin moisturised,
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: clothes ironed, clean shoes, make sure you clean out the
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: wax from their ears.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: I kind of agree with the commenters though, in terms
• 22:14
  Speaker 1: of when you send your child to school, Like you
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: do not want to be setting them up for anything
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: where a child could bully them. Like I remember Dale,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: my husband, saying that when he was younger, I think
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: his responsibility was to iron his clothes and he just
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: couldn't be bothered to do it. And so he remembers
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: rocking up.
• 22:31
  Speaker 2: To a party.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: And one of the parents commented on how creased his
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: clothes were. And that has stuck with him. Like anytime
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: we go anywhere, he cannot leave the house unless his
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: clothes are perfectly ironed. And I get it. Like you
• 22:43
  Speaker 1: obviously want to put your kid's best foot forward. Like
• 22:46
  Speaker 1: you don't want them coming to school with dirty clothes
• 22:49
  Speaker 1: and like unbrushed hair.
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: Like I totally get that.
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: But when you're at this stage of parenting with toddlers,
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: Of course, like Harry's been bathed, but he might come
• 22:58
  Speaker 1: out with a grubby top because he's just done something.
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: Well, that's what I was wondering with this initial poster
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: because her handle is Lisa Toddler Mum.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, do you have girls?
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: In her defence, she is talking about important moments like
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: going to school or a doctor's appointment or a party
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: or a school event. She's talking about not just your
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: day to day. So I totally get that. Like, for instance,
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: we took the boys to the Royal Show and I
• 23:21
  Speaker 1: made sure to put him in a cute little denim
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: overall set because I was like, He's going out and about.
• 23:25
  Speaker 1: We're going to take photos of this. I want him
• 23:27
  Speaker 1: to look nice. And you do feel really proud when
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: they are in a very cute outfit. You're like, look
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: at me. I'm on top of things.
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: I don't know if this is the case with you guys,
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: but I never like what Reece chooses to dress Jack in.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: And he goes, oh, it's my event.
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: Like if it's one of his school friends' kids' birthday parties,
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: he's like, I get to choose what he wears. Really?
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh, because I feel like it doesn't
• 23:49
  Speaker 2: really go together.
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: And for some reason he always thinks that Jack's going
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: to overheat and he always puts him in summer stuff
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: even though it's cold.
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: I think that's actually kind of cute though, like that
• 24:00
  Speaker 1: he was proud and he wants him in a special outfit.
• 24:02
  Speaker 2: I agree with you, Kate.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: Like any time Dale looks after Harry and he's dressed him,
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: He is in the most mismatched clothing. It's like he
• 24:09
  Speaker 1: just went into the drawers blindfolded and picked out these
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: clothes that are the complete opposite. And I'm like, Dale,
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: your family are coming over. Can we please change him?
• 24:19
  Speaker 1: Maybe I am this woman. Maybe I judged her too quickly.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: Like it is kind of important what they wear.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: Well, we went to Carrick Hill the other day and
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: Harry was wearing a top that was two sizes too small.
• 24:29
  Speaker 3: And Dale was like, oh, whoops, I grabbed the wrong top.
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: On that note, and has his cute little tummy top,
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: I think that's all we have time for today. Thank
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: you so much for joining us. If you have the time,
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: would you please, please leave us a five-star review because
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: it really helps us grow our podcast.
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: This episode was recorded.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: On the traditional land of the Kaurna people of the
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: Adelaide Plains.
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: We pay respect to elders past and present.