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REPROGRAMMING YOUR MIND – Transform Your Thoughts for Success · Motivational Podcast

0:05
Speaker 1: Despite the great and certain worldly rewards for staying healthy
0:09
Speaker 1: and fit, they are not the soul, or even the
0:12
Speaker 1: main reason to seek and embrace the habits of good health.
0:18
Speaker 1: The greatest benefits to health are found in the mind
0:22
Speaker 1: and spirit and soul of the seeker. Being a person
0:28
Speaker 1: of strong character is the best prescription for a sound
0:32
Speaker 1: mind and a sound body. If you are a person
0:39
Speaker 1: of strong character, you will promise yourself that you will
0:43
Speaker 1: achieve your goals or.
0:46
Speaker 2: What.
0:48
Speaker 1: It doesn't matter because you never consider that possibility. You
0:52
Speaker 1: have made a promise and you're going to keep it.
1:00
Speaker 1: When you set out to drive to the grocery store,
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Speaker 1: you don't stop at the doorway and think what will
1:05
Speaker 1: I do if I don't make it. You simply intend
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Speaker 1: to get to the grocery store. You know you're going
1:11
Speaker 1: to get there. You will get there. It's simply assumed.
1:21
Speaker 1: Fear is simply the inability to make a promise to yourself.
1:27
Speaker 1: It kicks in when you start thinking about all the
1:30
Speaker 1: bad things that can happen to you on the way
1:32
Speaker 1: to your destination, and before long you're thinking, wouldn't it
1:36
Speaker 1: be easier just to stay home? Isn't it safer to
1:40
Speaker 1: just stay in bed. Isn't it better to pull the
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Speaker 1: covers up over my head? When you were learning how
1:49
Speaker 1: to walk, you made a silent promise to yourself that
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Speaker 1: you were going to do it. It may have been
1:55
Speaker 1: scary at times. You surely stumbled again and again, surely
2:00
Speaker 1: fell from your eyes, but no matter, you didn't even
2:04
Speaker 1: think about that each time you fell. You forgot about
2:07
Speaker 1: it as soon as you regained your feet, because you
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Speaker 1: had promised yourself you were going to walk across the room,
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Speaker 1: and you did it. How long did it take? Who
2:17
Speaker 1: cares you did it? Ask yourself? Are you a person
2:27
Speaker 1: who comes to a fork in the road and turns
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Speaker 1: right or left? Or do you stop the car, scratch
2:33
Speaker 1: your chin and say, well, maybe I'll go this way,
2:36
Speaker 1: and then again maybe I'll go that way, and in
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Speaker 1: the end you go nowhere. Are you the kind of
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Speaker 1: person who comes to a decision and puts it into action,
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Speaker 1: or are you someone who says, well, maybe, but then again,
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Speaker 1: maybe not having to is a lot stronger than wanting to.
3:06
Speaker 1: But often, and especially when you're young, that difference isn't
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Speaker 1: always clear until someone points it out to you. You
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Speaker 1: have enough talent and intelligence to really accomplish a lot
3:19
Speaker 1: in life, but you just don't have enough reasons to
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Speaker 1: make it happen. A person of truly strong character sees
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Speaker 1: success as an adventure, not as a point with an
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Speaker 1: estimated time of arrival. True patience is more than just
3:37
Speaker 1: a waiting game. Patience doesn't mean you sit around hoping
3:41
Speaker 1: for something to happen. Patience is not a passive quality.
3:52
Speaker 1: Sometimes patience can mean doing something else entirely, thinking about
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Speaker 1: another venture, taking off in a different direction. You give
4:00
Speaker 1: events a chance to run their course. Impatient thinking can
4:05
Speaker 1: lead a person into some very big mistakes. You have
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Speaker 1: to lose your life in order to find it. If
4:17
Speaker 1: you have your health, you have everything. Lose your health,
4:23
Speaker 1: and there isn't enough money in all the world to
4:25
Speaker 1: make life good or to make you feel like life
4:29
Speaker 1: is worth living. You have to lose one way of
4:35
Speaker 1: living in order to find a different one, one that's
4:40
Speaker 1: better suited to who you are at this particular time.
4:44
Speaker 1: But you can do that, though it takes character. You
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Speaker 1: have to lose your life in order to find it.
4:52
Speaker 1: But you can lose your life and you can find
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Speaker 1: a new one. A healthy attitude, your attitude the slant
5:05
Speaker 1: you put on things. The way you lean into life
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Speaker 1: or back away from it is all part of your character.
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Speaker 1: Good health is more than just the absence of illness.
5:19
Speaker 1: It's more than just not being sick. Good health is
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Speaker 1: the direct result of right thinking and right living, in
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Speaker 1: other words, of strong character. Anybody who does the same
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Speaker 1: thing every day, year in and year out, with no
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Speaker 1: break or vacation is probably in no position to even
5:47
Speaker 1: know whether he or she is in good shape. You
5:54
Speaker 1: can't know what you have until you leave it or
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Speaker 1: lose it get something else. You just can't sharpen your
6:05
Speaker 1: mind like a pencil, so it comes to a fine point,
6:08
Speaker 1: but always gets shorter and shorter until it's worn down
6:12
Speaker 1: to a stub and has to be discarded. Remember, every
6:17
Speaker 1: dream is a vacation. Feeling right makes others feel right,
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Speaker 1: and they in turn give back what's inside them, the
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Speaker 1: very confidence that you give out. A patient man is
6:30
Speaker 1: always richer than an impatient one, even if the patient
6:34
Speaker 1: man has less money. A patient man is always richer
6:42
Speaker 1: than the impatient one because the patient man can always
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Speaker 1: afford to wait. The patient man is never desperate. The
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Speaker 1: patient man has time to spare, while the man in
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Speaker 1: a hurry is always on the verge of bankruptcy is
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Speaker 1: far as time is concerned. In any situation you can
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Speaker 1: think of, impatience is a source of weakness and fear,
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Speaker 1: while patience is substance and strength. You should simply refuse
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Speaker 1: to compromise. You should similarly refuse to accept pettiness or
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Speaker 1: dishonesty or unethical behavior in any form. If your character
7:33
Speaker 1: is good and strong, there are certain things that you
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Speaker 1: simply refuse to accept in yourself or in other people.
7:43
Speaker 1: In your work, you refuse to accept anything less than
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Speaker 1: your best effort. That doesn't mean that things will always
7:51
Speaker 1: work out exactly as you hoped and intended, but that's
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Speaker 1: not the point. So embrace your fear, take it inside yourself,
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Speaker 1: and use it as a foundation.
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Speaker 3: For true courage.
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Speaker 1: There will always be variable as you can't control, but
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Speaker 1: your effort level should always be maxed out regardless. Very
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Speaker 1: few people are able to develop this kind of intrinsic motivation.
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Speaker 1: That's just an axiom of human nature. Let's suppose that
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Speaker 1: there's a vast, hugely powerful force that nobody can withstand,
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Speaker 1: and this immense force is always active and in furious motion.
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Speaker 1: It never rests. It's like a slowly flowing river that
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Speaker 1: can eventually carve the Grand Canyon out of solid rock. Now,
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Speaker 1: in trying to achieve your life's goals, prefer to fight
9:00
Speaker 1: against this great force? Would you want to struggle against
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Speaker 1: this mighty power that has all the odds overwhelmingly in
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Speaker 1: its favor? Or would you rather enlist this great power
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Speaker 1: in your cause and make the inevitable work for you
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Speaker 1: instead of against you. By the way, time is that
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Speaker 1: great power I'm talking about. History proves that time is
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Speaker 1: the strongest ally you can possibly have, no matter what
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Speaker 1: the odds against you or the level of adversity you're facing.
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Speaker 1: Time gives strength to those who have it on their side.
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Speaker 1: Why would you ever choose to fight time when you
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Speaker 1: could have time on your side? Who wouldn't want to
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Speaker 1: harness the great river of time that flows through all
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Speaker 1: of life?
10:36
Speaker 3: What should I do? How should I live? And whom
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Speaker 3: should I become? We need the guidance of both ancient
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Speaker 3: wisdom and modern science to get the balance right. What
10:55
Speaker 3: is the meaning of life? Why do some people meaning
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Speaker 3: purpose and fulfillment in life but others do not? Where
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Speaker 3: does happiness come from? For what the flesh desires is
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Speaker 3: opposed to the spirit, and what the spirit desires is
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Speaker 3: opposed to the flesh, For these are opposed to each
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Speaker 3: other to prevent you from doing what you want. If
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Speaker 3: passion drives, let reason hold the reins. Desire and reason
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Speaker 3: are pulling in different directions. Feelings of guilt, lust, or
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Speaker 3: fear are often stronger than reasoning. Freud said that the
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Speaker 3: mind is divided into three parts, the ego, the conscious
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Speaker 3: rational self, the super ego, the conscience sometimes too rigid
12:02
Speaker 3: commitment to the rules of society. And the id, the
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Speaker 3: desire for pleasure, lots of it sooner rather than later.
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Speaker 3: Human thinking depends on metaphor. The driver, the ego, struggles
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Speaker 3: frantically to control a hungry, lustful, and disobedient horse, the ID,
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Speaker 3: while the driver's father, the superego, sits in the back seat,
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Speaker 3: lecturing the driver on what he is doing wrong. For Freud,
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Speaker 3: the goal of psychoanalysis was to escape this pitiful state
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Speaker 3: by strengthening the ego, thus giving it more control over
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Speaker 3: the id and more independence from the superego. The older
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Speaker 3: metaphors about controlling animals work beautifully. Throughout recorded history, people
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Speaker 3: have lived with and tried to control animals and these
13:06
Speaker 3: animals made their way into ancient metaphors. Buddha, for example,
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Speaker 3: compared the mind to a wild elephant. In days gone by,
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Speaker 3: this mind of mine used to stray wherever selfish desire,
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Speaker 3: or lust or pleasure would lead it. To day, this
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Speaker 3: mind does not stray and is under the harmony of control,
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Speaker 3: even as a wild elephant is controlled by the trainer.
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Speaker 3: Plato used a similar metaphor, in which the self or
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Speaker 3: soul is a chariot and the calm, rational part of
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Speaker 3: the mind holds the reins. Plato's charioteer had to control
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Speaker 3: two horses. The horse that is on the right, or
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Speaker 3: nobler side, is upright in frame and well jointed, with
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Speaker 3: a high neck and a regal nose. He is a
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Speaker 3: lover of honor, with modesty and self control, companion to
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Speaker 3: true glory. He needs no whip and is guided by
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Speaker 3: verbal commands alone. The other horse is a crooked, great
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Speaker 3: jumble of limbs, companion to wild boasts and indecency. He
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Speaker 3: is shaggy around the ears, deaf as a post, and
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Speaker 3: just barely yields to horsewhip and goad combined. It's no
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Speaker 3: accident that we find the carnal pleasure so rewarding. Our brains,
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Speaker 3: like rat brains, are wired so that food and sex
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Speaker 3: give us little bursts of dopamine, the neurotransmitter that is
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Speaker 3: the brain's way of making us enjoy the activities that
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Speaker 3: are good for the survival of our genes. Plato's bad
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Speaker 3: horse plays an important role in pulling us toward these things,
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Speaker 3: which helped our ancestors survive and sc seed in becoming
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Speaker 3: our ancestors. The controlled system allows people to think about
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Speaker 3: long term goals and thereby escape the tyranny of the
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Speaker 3: here and now, the automatic triggering of temptation by the
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Speaker 3: sight of tempting objects. People can imagine alternatives that are
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Speaker 3: not visually present. They can weigh long term health risks
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Speaker 3: against present pleasures, and they can learn in conversation about
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Speaker 3: which choices will bring success and prestige. The automatic system
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Speaker 3: has its finger on the dopamine release button. The controlled system,
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Speaker 3: in contrast, is better seen as an advisor. It's a
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Speaker 3: writer placed on the elephant's back to help the elephant
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Speaker 3: make better choices. Once you understand the power of stimulus control,
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Speaker 3: you can use it to your by changing the stimuli
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Speaker 3: in your environment and avoiding undesirable ones, or if that's
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Speaker 3: not possible, by filling your consciousness with thoughts about their
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Speaker 3: less tempting aspects. Buddhism, for example, in an effort to
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Speaker 3: break people's carnal attachment to their own and others, flesh,
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Speaker 3: develop methods of meditating on decaying corpses. By choosing to
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Speaker 3: stare at something that revolts the automatic system, the writer
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Speaker 3: can begin to change what the elephant will want in
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Speaker 3: the future. The writer can see farther into the future,
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Speaker 3: and the writer can learn valuable information by talking to
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Speaker 3: other writers. The writer is an adviser or servant, not
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Speaker 3: a king, president, or charioteer, with a firm grip on
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Speaker 3: the reins. It is conscious controlled thought. The elephant, in contrast,
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Speaker 3: is everything else. The elephant includes the gut feelings, visceral reactions, emotions,
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Speaker 3: and intuitions that comprise much of the automatic system. The
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Speaker 3: elephant and writer each have their own intelligence, and when
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Speaker 3: they work together well, they enable the unique brilliance of
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Speaker 3: human beings. To understand the most important ideas in psychology,
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Speaker 3: you need to understand how the mind is divided into
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Speaker 3: parts that sometimes conflict. We assume that there is one
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Speaker 3: person in each body, but in some ways we are
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Speaker 3: each more like a committee whose members have been thrown
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Speaker 3: together to do a job, but who often find themselves
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Speaker 3: working at cross purposes. Human rationality depends critically on sophisticated emotionality.
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Speaker 3: It is only because our emotional brains work so well
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Speaker 3: that our reasoning can work at all. Reason and emotion
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Speaker 3: must both work together to create intelligent behavior. The moment
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Speaker 3: one stops trying to suppress a thought, the thought comes
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Speaker 3: flooding in and becomes even harder to banish. When controlled
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Speaker 3: processing tries to influence thought, don't think about a white bear.
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Speaker 3: It sets up an explicit goal, and whenever one pursues
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Speaker 3: a goal, a part of the mind automatically monitors progress
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Speaker 3: so that it can order corrections or know when success
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Speaker 3: has been achieved. When that goal is an action in
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Speaker 3: the world, such as arriving at the airport on time,
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Speaker 3: this feedback system works well, but when the goal is
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Speaker 3: mental it backfires. Automatic processes continually check am I not
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Speaker 3: thinking about a white bear? As the act of monitoring
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Speaker 3: for the absence of the thought introduces the thought, the
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Speaker 3: person must try even harder to divert consciousness. Automatic and
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Speaker 3: controlled processes end up working at cross purposes, firing each
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Speaker 3: other up to ever greater exertions. But because controlled processes
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Speaker 3: tire quickly, eventually the inexhaustible automatic processes run unopposed, conjuring
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Speaker 3: up herds of white bears. Thus the attempt to remove
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Speaker 3: an unpleasant thought can guarantee it a place on your
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Speaker 3: frequent playlist of mental ruminations. We sometimes fall into the
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Speaker 3: view that we are fighting with our unconscious are in
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Speaker 3: our animal self, But really we are the whole thing.
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Speaker 3: We are the writer and we are the elephant. Both
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Speaker 3: have their strengths and special skills. Marcus Aurelius wrote, the
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Speaker 3: whole universe is change, and life itself is, but what
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Speaker 3: you deem it. Buddha taught what we are today comes
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Speaker 3: from our thoughts of yesterday, and our present thoughts build
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Speaker 3: our life of tomorrow. Our life is the creation of
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Speaker 3: our mind. Events in the world affect us only through
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Speaker 3: our interpretations of them, So if we can control our interpretations,
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Speaker 3: we can control our world. There is no reality, only perception.
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Speaker 3: The art of pop psychology is to develop a method
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Speaker 3: beyond lecturing and hectoring that guides people to that realization.
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Speaker 3: Self help books and seminars sometimes seem to consist of
21:15
Speaker 3: little more than lecturing and hectoring people until they understand
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Speaker 3: this idea and its implications for their lives. To take
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Speaker 3: something philosophically means to accept a great misfortune without weeping
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Speaker 3: or even suffering. We use this term in part because
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Speaker 3: of the calmness, self control, and courage that three ancient philosophers, Socrates, Seneca,
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Speaker 3: and Boethius showed while they awaited their executions. But in
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Speaker 3: the Consolation of Philosophy, which Boethius wrote while in prison,
21:56
Speaker 3: he confessed that at first he was anything but philosophical.
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Speaker 3: He wept and wrote poems about weeping. He cursed injustice
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Speaker 3: and old age, and the Goddess of Fortune who had
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Speaker 3: blessed him and then abandoned him. Then one night, while
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Speaker 3: Boethius is wallowing in his wretchedness, the majestic apparition of
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Speaker 3: Lady Philosophy visits him and proceeds to chide him for
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Speaker 3: his unphilosophical behavior. Lady Philosophy then guides Boethius through reinterpretations
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Speaker 3: that foreshadow modern cognitive therapy. She begins by asking Boethius
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Speaker 3: to think about his relationship with the Goddess of Fortune,
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Speaker 3: Philosophy reminds Boethius that fortune is fickle, coming and going
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Speaker 3: as she pleases. Boethius took Fortune as his mistress, fully
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Speaker 3: aware of her ways, and she stayed with him for
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Speaker 3: a long time. What right has he now to demand
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Speaker 3: that she be chained to his side? Lady Philosophy presents
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Speaker 3: fortune's defense. Why should I alone be deprived of my rights?
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Speaker 3: The heavens are permitted to grant bright days, then blot
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Speaker 3: them out with dark nights. The year may decorate the
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Speaker 3: face of the earth with flowers and fruits, then make
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Speaker 3: it barren again with clouds and frost. The sea is
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Speaker 3: allowed to invite the sailor with fair weather, then terrify
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Speaker 3: him with storms. Shall I then permit man's insatiable cupidity
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Speaker 3: to time down to a sameness that is alien to
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Speaker 3: my habits? Lady Philosophy reframes change as normal and as
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Speaker 3: the right of fortune. The whole universe is changed. Aurelius
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Speaker 3: had said Poethius was fortunate, Now he is not. That
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Speaker 3: is no cause for anger. Rather, he should be grateful
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Speaker 3: that he enjoyed fortune for so long, and he should
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Speaker 3: be calm now that she has left him. No man
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Speaker 3: can ever be secure until he has been forsaken by fortune.
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Speaker 3: Lady Philosophy tries several other reframing tactics. She points out
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Speaker 3: that his wife, sons, and father are each dearer to
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Speaker 3: him than his own life, and four still live. She
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Speaker 3: helps him see that adverse fortune is more beneficial than
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Speaker 3: good fortune. The latter only makes men greedy for more,
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Speaker 3: but adversity makes them strong, And she draws Boethius's imagination
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Speaker 3: far up into the heavens so that he can look
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Speaker 3: down on the earth and see it as a tiny
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Speaker 3: speck on which even tinier people play out their comical
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Speaker 3: and ultimately insignificant ambitions. She gets them to admit that
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Speaker 3: riches and fame bring anxiety and avarice, not peace and happiness.
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Speaker 3: After being shown these new perspectives and having his old
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Speaker 3: assumptions challenged, Boethius is finally prepared to absorb the greatest
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Speaker 3: lesson of all, the lesson Buddha and Aurelius had taught
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Speaker 3: centuries earlier. Nothing is miserable unless you think it so,
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Speaker 3: And on the other hand, nothing brings happiness unless you
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Speaker 3: are content with it. When he takes this lesson to heart,
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Speaker 3: Boethius frees himself from his mental prison. He regains his composure,
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Speaker 3: writes a book that has comforted people for centuries, and
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Speaker 3: faces his death with dignity. Epiphanies can be life altering,
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Speaker 3: but most fade in days or weeks. The writer can't
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Speaker 3: just decide to change and then order the elephant to
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Speaker 3: go along with the program. Lasting change can come only
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Speaker 3: by retraining the elephant, and that's hard to do. When
27:24
Speaker 3: pop psychology programs are successful in helping people, which they
27:28
Speaker 3: sometimes are, they succeed not because of the initial moment
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Speaker 3: of insight, but because they find ways to alter people's
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Speaker 3: behavior over the following months. They keep people involved with
27:40
Speaker 3: the program long enough to retrain the elephant when pleasure
28:00
Speaker 3: or pain comes to them. The wise feel above pleasure
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Speaker 3: and pain. Do not seek to have events happen as
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Speaker 3: you want them to, but instead want them to happen
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Speaker 3: as they do. Happen, and your life will go well.
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Speaker 3: Happiness comes from within, and it cannot be found by
28:29
Speaker 3: making the world conform to your desires. Our life is
28:37
Speaker 3: the creation of our mind. Thinking makes it so. When
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Speaker 3: Heaven is about to confer a great responsibility on any man,
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Speaker 3: it will exercise his mind with suffering, subject his sinews
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Speaker 3: and bones to hard work, expose his body to hunger,
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Speaker 3: put him to poverty. Place obstacles in the paths of
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Speaker 3: his deeds, so as to stimulate his mind, harden his nature,
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Speaker 3: and improve wherever he is incompetent. What doesn't kill me
29:20
Speaker 3: makes me stronger. This chapter is about what we might
29:28
Speaker 3: call the adversity hypothesis, which says that people need adversity, setbacks,
29:34
Speaker 3: and perhaps even trauma to reach the highest levels of strength, fulfillment,
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Speaker 3: and personal development. I don't want to I don't want
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Speaker 3: to have this chance, But it's here now, and what
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Speaker 3: am I going to do about it? Am I going
29:56
Speaker 3: to rise to the occasion. For decades, research in health
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Speaker 3: psychology focused on stress and its damaging effects. A major
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Speaker 3: concern in this research literature has always been resilience, the
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Speaker 3: ways people cope with adversity, fend off damage, and bounce
30:23
Speaker 3: back to normal functioning. Researchers have gone beyond resilience and
30:29
Speaker 3: begun to focus on the benefits of severe stress post
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Speaker 3: traumatic growth. In direct contrast to post traumatic stress disorder.
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Speaker 3: Researchers have now studied people facing many kinds of adversity,
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Speaker 3: including cancer, heart disease, HIV, rape, assault, paralysis, infertility, house fires,
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Speaker 3: plane crashes, and earthquakes. How people cope with the loss
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Speaker 3: of their strongest attachments, children, spouses or partners and parents.
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Speaker 3: Rising to a challenge reveals your hidden abilities, and seeing
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Speaker 3: these abilities changes your self concept. None of us knows
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Speaker 3: what we are really capable of enduring. You might say
31:30
Speaker 3: to yourself, I would die if I lost X, or
31:35
Speaker 3: I could never survive what why is going through? If
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Speaker 3: you did lose X or find yourself in the same
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Speaker 3: position as why, your heart would not stop beating, you
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Speaker 3: would respond to the world as you founded, and most
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Speaker 3: of those responses would be automatic. People sometimes say they
31:55
Speaker 3: are numb or on autopilot. After a terrible loss, consciousness
32:02
Speaker 3: is severely altered. It somehow the body keeps moving. Over
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Speaker 3: the next few weeks, some degree of normalcy returns as
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Speaker 3: one struggles to make sense of the loss and of
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Speaker 3: one's altered circumstances. What doesn't kill you makes you, by definition,
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Speaker 3: a survivor, about whom people then say I could never survive?
32:25
Speaker 3: What why is going through? One of the most common
32:31
Speaker 3: lessons people draw from bereavement or trauma is that they
32:35
Speaker 3: are much stronger than they realized. This new appreciation of
32:41
Speaker 3: their strength then gives them confidence to face future challenges,
32:46
Speaker 3: and they are not just confabulating a silver lining to
32:49
Speaker 3: wrap around a dark cloud. People who have suffered through battle, rape,
32:55
Speaker 3: concentration camps, or traumatic personal losses often seem to be
33:00
Speaker 3: inoculated against future stress. They recover more quickly, in part
33:06
Speaker 3: because they know they can cope. Suffering produces endurance, and
33:14
Speaker 3: endurance produces character, and character produces hope. The person who
33:23
Speaker 3: has had more experience of hardships can stand more firmly
33:27
Speaker 3: in the face of problems than the person who has
33:30
Speaker 3: never experienced suffering. From this angle, then some suffering can
33:35
Speaker 3: be a good lesson for life. Trauma changes priorities and
33:41
Speaker 3: philosophies toward the present. The reality that people often wake
33:47
Speaker 3: up to is that life is a gift they have
33:51
Speaker 3: been taking for granted. I don't want to celebrate suffering,
33:57
Speaker 3: prescribe it for everyone, or minimize the moral imperative to
34:01
Speaker 3: reduce it where we can. I don't want to ignore
34:06
Speaker 3: the pain that ripples out from each diagnosis of cancer,
34:10
Speaker 3: spreading fear along lines of kinship and friendship. I want
34:15
Speaker 3: only to make the point that suffering is not always
34:20
Speaker 3: all bad for all people. There is usually some good
34:24
Speaker 3: mixed in with the bad, and those who find it
34:27
Speaker 3: have found something precious. A key to moral and spiritual development.
34:35
Speaker 3: Must we suffer. Adversity may be necessary for growth because
34:43
Speaker 3: it forces you to stop speeding along the road of life,
34:47
Speaker 3: allowing you to notice the paths that were branching off
34:50
Speaker 3: all along and to think about where you really want
34:53
Speaker 3: to end up. Human beings were shaped by evolutionary process
35:00
Speaker 3: as to pursue success, not happiness. People enthusiastically pursue goals
35:06
Speaker 3: that will help them win prestige in zero sum competitions.
35:12
Speaker 3: Success in these competitions feels good, but gives no lasting pleasure,
35:16
Speaker 3: and it raises the bar for future success. When tragedy strikes, however,
35:25
Speaker 3: it knocks you off the treadmill and forces a decision
35:29
Speaker 3: hop back on and return to business as usual, or
35:34
Speaker 3: try something else. There is a window of time, just
35:40
Speaker 3: a few weeks or months after the tragedy, during which
35:44
Speaker 3: you are more open to something else. During this time,
35:50
Speaker 3: achievement goals often lose their allure, sometimes coming to seem pointless.
35:58
Speaker 3: Many people change their goals in the wake of adversity,
36:02
Speaker 3: they resolve to work less, to love and play more.
36:07
Speaker 3: If in those first few months you take action, you
36:10
Speaker 3: do something that changes your daily life, then the changes
36:15
Speaker 3: might stick. But if you do nothing more than make
36:18
Speaker 3: a resolution I must never forget my new outlook on life,
36:23
Speaker 3: then you will soon slip back into old habits and
36:26
Speaker 3: pursue old goals. You need interesting material to write a
36:33
Speaker 3: good story. You can have a good life story without vicissitudes.
36:42
Speaker 3: Several genres are associated with well being. In the commitment story,
36:48
Speaker 3: the protagonist, as a supportive family background, is sensitized early
36:53
Speaker 3: in life to the sufferings of others, is guided by
36:56
Speaker 3: a clear and compelling personal ideology, and at some point
37:00
Speaker 3: transforms or redeems failures, mistakes, or crises into a positive outcome,
37:06
Speaker 3: a process that often involves setting new goals that commit
37:10
Speaker 3: the self to helping others. In contrast, some people's life
37:16
Speaker 3: stories show a contamination sequence, in which emotionally positive events
37:22
Speaker 3: go bad and everything is spoiled. People who tell such
37:27
Speaker 3: stories are not surprisingly more likely to be depressed. Indeed,
37:33
Speaker 3: part of the pathology of depression is that while ruminating,
37:37
Speaker 3: the depressed person reworks her life narrative by using the
37:41
Speaker 3: tools of Beck's negative triad, I'm bad, the world is bad,
37:49
Speaker 3: and my future is dark. Although adversity that is not
37:56
Speaker 3: overcome can create a story of depressing bleakness, substantial adversity
38:01
Speaker 3: might be necessary for a meaningful story. Trauma often shatters
38:08
Speaker 3: belief systems and robs people of their sense of meaning.
38:12
Speaker 3: In so doing, it forces people to put the pieces
38:15
Speaker 3: back together, rebuilding beautifully those parts of their lives and
38:20
Speaker 3: life stories that they could never have torn down voluntarily.
38:26
Speaker 3: When people report having grown after coping with adversity, they
38:30
Speaker 3: could be trying to describe a new sense of inner coherence.
38:34
Speaker 3: This coherence might not be visible to one's friends, but
38:39
Speaker 3: it feels like growth, strength, maturity, and wisdom from the inside.
38:50
Speaker 3: When bad things happen to good people, we have a problem.
38:58
Speaker 3: We know consciously that life is unfair, but unconsciously we
39:02
Speaker 3: see the world through the lens of reciprocity. The downfall
39:08
Speaker 3: of an evil man, in our biased and moralistic assessment,
39:12
Speaker 3: is no puzzle. He had it coming to him. But
39:17
Speaker 3: when the victim was virtuous, we struggle to make sense
39:21
Speaker 3: of his tragedy. The desperate need to make sense of
39:26
Speaker 3: events can lead people to inaccurate conclusions. The ability to
39:30
Speaker 3: make sense of tragedy and then find benefit in it
39:34
Speaker 3: is the key that unlocks post traumatic growth. Psychologists have
39:42
Speaker 3: devoted a great deal of effort to figuring out who
39:45
Speaker 3: benefits from trauma and who is crushed. The answer compounds
39:52
Speaker 3: the already great unfairness of life. Optimists are more likely
39:57
Speaker 3: to benefit than pessimists. People who have a basic level
40:04
Speaker 3: trade of optimism tend to develop a coping style that
40:08
Speaker 3: alternates between active coping and reappraisal. Because optimists expect their
40:14
Speaker 3: efforts to pay off, they go right to work fixing
40:17
Speaker 3: the problem. But if they fail, they expect that things
40:21
Speaker 3: usually work out for the best, and so they can't
40:24
Speaker 3: help but look for possible benefits. When they find them,
40:29
Speaker 3: they write a new chapter in their life story, a
40:33
Speaker 3: story of continual overcoming and growth. In contrast, people who
40:41
Speaker 3: have a relatively negative affective style live in a world
40:45
Speaker 3: filled with many more threats and have less confidence that
40:49
Speaker 3: they can deal with them. They develop a coping style
40:53
Speaker 3: that relies more heavily on avoidance and other defense mechanisms.
40:59
Speaker 3: They work harder to manage their pain than to fix
41:02
Speaker 3: their problems, so their problems often get worse, drawing the
41:09
Speaker 3: lesson that the world is unjust and uncontrollable, and that
41:13
Speaker 3: things often work out for the worst. They weave this
41:17
Speaker 3: lesson into their life story, where it contaminates the narrative.
41:22
Speaker 3: If you are a pessimist, you are probably feeling gloomy
41:27
Speaker 3: right now, but despair not. The key to growth is
41:31
Speaker 3: not optimism per se. It is the sense making that
41:35
Speaker 3: optimists find easy. If you can find a way to
41:39
Speaker 3: make sense of adversity and draw constructive lessons from it,
41:44
Speaker 3: you can benefit too. You have to use words, and
41:58
Speaker 3: the words have to help you create a meaningful story.
42:03
Speaker 3: If you can write such a story, you can reap
42:05
Speaker 3: the benefits of reappraisal. Even years after an event, you
42:13
Speaker 3: can close a chapter of your life that was still open,
42:17
Speaker 3: still affecting your thoughts and preventing you from moving on
42:21
Speaker 3: with the larger narrative. Anyone therefore, can benefit from adversity.
42:31
Speaker 3: The first step is to do what you can before
42:34
Speaker 3: adversity strikes, to change your cognitive style, no matter how
42:42
Speaker 3: well or how poorly prepared you are, when trouble strikes,
42:46
Speaker 3: at some point in the months afterwards, pull out a
42:49
Speaker 3: piece of paper and start writing don't edit or censor yourself.
42:55
Speaker 3: Don't worry about grammar or sentence structure. Just keep writing.
43:01
Speaker 3: Write about what happened, how you feel about it, and
43:05
Speaker 3: why you feel that way. If you hate to write,
43:08
Speaker 3: you can talk into a tape recorder. The crucial thing
43:12
Speaker 3: is to get your thoughts and feelings out without imposing
43:15
Speaker 3: any order on them, but in such a way that
43:18
Speaker 3: after a few days some order is likely to emerge
43:22
Speaker 3: on its own. Before you conclude your last session, be
43:29
Speaker 3: sure you have done your best to answer these two questions.
43:33
Speaker 3: Why did this happen? What good might I derive from it?
43:41
Speaker 3: For everything, there is a season. The mind is its
44:09
Speaker 3: own place, and in itself can make a heaven of
44:13
Speaker 3: hell a hell of heaven. When it comes to explaining personality,
44:24
Speaker 3: it's always true that nature and nurture work together. If
44:30
Speaker 3: the adversity hypothesis is true, then there should be times
44:34
Speaker 3: in life when adversity will be more or less beneficial.
44:38
Speaker 1: Things die.
44:40
Speaker 2: It is the way of life.
44:42
Speaker 3: All we can do is try to find a reason
44:45
Speaker 3: to go on.
44:46
Speaker 2: Build it again, keep on keeping on until the day
44:50
Speaker 2: breaks and the shadows flee away. The miracle working powers
44:56
Speaker 2: of your subconscious mind existed before you and I were born.
45:03
Speaker 2: All you have to do is unite mentally and emotionally
45:05
Speaker 2: with the good you wish to embody, and the creative
45:08
Speaker 2: powers of your subconscious will respond accordingly. A magnetized piece
45:13
Speaker 2: of steel will lift about twelve times its own weight,
45:16
Speaker 2: and if you demagnetize this same piece of steel, it
45:19
Speaker 2: will not even lift a feather. Similarly, there are two
45:25
Speaker 2: types of men. There is the magnetized man, who is
45:30
Speaker 2: full of confidence and faith. He knows that he is
45:33
Speaker 2: born to win and to succeed. Then there is the
45:41
Speaker 2: type of man who is demagnetized. He is full of
45:46
Speaker 2: fears and doubts. Opportunities come and he says, I might fail,
45:55
Speaker 2: I might lose money. People will laugh at me. This
46:02
Speaker 2: type of man will not get very far in life,
46:05
Speaker 2: because if he is afraid to go forward, he will
46:08
Speaker 2: simply stay where he is. There is a gold mine
46:14
Speaker 2: within you from which you can extract everything you need
46:17
Speaker 2: to live life gloriously. Infinite riches are all around you,
46:23
Speaker 2: if you will open your mental eyes and behold the
46:26
Speaker 2: treasure house of infinity within you, What, in your opinion,
46:32
Speaker 2: is the master secret of the ages, the secret of
46:36
Speaker 2: atomic energy, thermonuclear energy, the neutron bomb, interplanetary travel. No,
46:43
Speaker 2: not any of these. Then what is this master secret?
46:51
Speaker 2: Where can one find it? And how can it be
46:53
Speaker 2: contacted and brought into action? The answer is extraordinarily simple.
47:02
Speaker 2: This secret is the marvelous, miracle working power found in
47:05
Speaker 2: your own subconscious mind, the last place that most people
47:08
Speaker 2: would seek it. You can bring into your life more power,
47:14
Speaker 2: more wealth, more health, more happiness, and more joy by
47:18
Speaker 2: learning to contact and release the hidden power of your
47:20
Speaker 2: subconscious mind. You need not acquire this power. You already
47:28
Speaker 2: possess it. You want to learn how to use it.
47:33
Speaker 2: You want to understand it so that you can apply
47:36
Speaker 2: it in all departments of your life. You can gain
47:40
Speaker 2: the necessary knowledge and understanding, you can be inspired by
47:43
Speaker 2: a new light, and you can generate a new force,
47:46
Speaker 2: enabling you to realize your hopes and make all your
47:49
Speaker 2: dreams come true. Within your subconscious depths lies infinite wisdom,
47:57
Speaker 2: infinite power, and infinite supply of all that is necessary
48:00
Speaker 2: which is waiting for development and expression. There is a
48:05
Speaker 2: miraculous healing power in your subconscious that can heal the
48:08
Speaker 2: troubled mind and the broken heart. It can open the
48:13
Speaker 2: prison door. Of the mind and liberate you. It can
48:17
Speaker 2: free you from all kinds of material and physical bondage.
48:23
Speaker 2: You must not think that the principles of chemistry, physics,
48:26
Speaker 2: and mathematics differ from the principles of your subconscious mind.
48:32
Speaker 2: Let us consider a generally accepted principle. Water seeks its
48:37
Speaker 2: own level. This is a universal principle which is applicable
48:40
Speaker 2: to water everywhere. Matter expands when heated. This is true everywhere,
48:46
Speaker 2: at any time, and under all circumstances. It is also
48:53
Speaker 2: a universal truth that whatever you impress on your subconscious
48:56
Speaker 2: mind is expressed on the screen of space as condition.
48:59
Speaker 2: Experience and your subconscious mind is principle and works according
49:04
Speaker 2: to the law of belief. You must know what belief is,
49:11
Speaker 2: why it works, and how it works. The law of
49:15
Speaker 2: your mind is the law of belief. This means to
49:19
Speaker 2: believe in the way your mind works, to believe in
49:22
Speaker 2: belief itself. The belief of your mind is the thought
49:26
Speaker 2: of your mind that is simple, just that and nothing else.
49:32
Speaker 2: All your experiences, events, conditions, and acts are the reactions
49:36
Speaker 2: of your subconscious mind to your thoughts. Remember it is
49:39
Speaker 2: not the thing believed in, but the belief in your
49:42
Speaker 2: own mind, which brings about the result cease believing in
49:48
Speaker 2: the false beliefs, opinions, superstitions, and fears of mankind, begin
49:53
Speaker 2: to believe in the eternal verities and truths of life,
49:56
Speaker 2: which never change. Thought is incipient action. The reaction is
50:04
Speaker 2: the response from your subconscious mind, which corresponds with the
50:08
Speaker 2: nature of your thought. You are a gardener, and you
50:17
Speaker 2: are planting seeds thoughts in your subconscious mind all day long,
50:21
Speaker 2: based on your habitual thinking. As you sow in your
50:27
Speaker 2: subconscious mind, so shall you reap in your body and environment.
50:31
Speaker 2: Think quietly and with interest on these qualities, and accept
50:34
Speaker 2: them fully in your conscious, reasoning mind. Continue to plant
50:37
Speaker 2: these wonderful seeds thoughts is in the garden of your mind,
50:41
Speaker 2: and you will reap a glorious harvest. Your subconscious mind
50:48
Speaker 2: may be likened to soil which will grow all kinds
50:51
Speaker 2: of seeds, good or bad. Every thought is therefore a cause,
50:58
Speaker 2: and every condition is an effect. For this reason, it
51:02
Speaker 2: is essential that you take charge of your thoughts so
51:05
Speaker 2: as to bring forth only desirable conditions. When your mind
51:11
Speaker 2: thinks correctly, when you understand the truth, when the thoughts
51:15
Speaker 2: deposited in your subconscious mind are constructive, harmonious, and peaceful.
51:19
Speaker 2: The magic working power of your subconscious will respond and
51:22
Speaker 2: bring about harmonious conditions, agreeable surroundings, and the best of everything.
51:29
Speaker 2: In order to change external conditions, you must change the cause.
51:35
Speaker 2: Most men try to change conditions and circumstances by working
51:38
Speaker 2: with conditions and circumstances to remove discord, confusion, lack, and limitation.
51:46
Speaker 2: You must remove the cause. And the cause is the
51:49
Speaker 2: way you are using your conscious mind, the way you
51:51
Speaker 2: are thinking and picturing. In your mind. You are living
51:58
Speaker 2: in a fathomless sea of infinite riches. Your subconscious is
52:02
Speaker 2: every sensitive to your thoughts. Your thoughts form the mold
52:06
Speaker 2: or matrix through which the infinite intelligence, wisdom, vital forces
52:10
Speaker 2: and energies of your subconscious flow. Your subconscious mind is
52:16
Speaker 2: reactive and responds to the nature of your thoughts. When
52:20
Speaker 2: your conscious mind, the little me, is full of fear, worry,
52:23
Speaker 2: and anxiety, the negative emotions engendered in your subconscious mind,
52:27
Speaker 2: the big meat, are released and flood the conscious mind
52:30
Speaker 2: with a sense of panic, for boting, and despair. You
52:39
Speaker 2: will perceive the main differences by the following illustration. The
52:43
Speaker 2: conscious mind is like the navigator or captain at the
52:45
Speaker 2: bridge of a ship. He directs the ship and signals
52:49
Speaker 2: orders to men in the engine room, who in turn
52:51
Speaker 2: control all the boiler's instruments, gauges, etc. The men in
52:54
Speaker 2: the engine room do not know where they are going.
52:57
Speaker 2: They follow orders. They would go on the rock. If
53:00
Speaker 2: the man in the bridge issued faulty or wrong instructions
53:03
Speaker 2: based on his findings with the compass, sextant or other instruments.
53:08
Speaker 2: The men in the engine room obey him because he
53:10
Speaker 2: is in charge and issues orders which are automatically obeyed.
53:15
Speaker 2: Members of the crew do not talk back to the captain.
53:17
Speaker 2: They simply carry out orders. The captain is the master
53:25
Speaker 2: of his ship, and his decrees are carried out. Likewise,
53:28
Speaker 2: your conscious mind is the captain and the master of
53:30
Speaker 2: your ship, which represents your body, environment and all your affairs.
53:37
Speaker 2: Your subconscious mind takes the orders you give it based
53:40
Speaker 2: upon what your conscious mind believes and accepts as true.
53:50
Speaker 2: The great secret possessed by the great men of all
53:52
Speaker 2: ages was their ability to contact and release the powers
53:56
Speaker 2: of their subconscious mind. You can do the same. Every
54:05
Speaker 2: thought is a cause and every condition is an effect.
54:09
Speaker 2: You are like a captain navigating a ship. He must
54:13
Speaker 2: give the right orders, and likewise you must give the
54:16
Speaker 2: right orders thoughts and images to your subconscious mind, which
54:20
Speaker 2: controls and governs all your experiences. Never use the terms
54:30
Speaker 2: I can't afford it or I can't do this. Your
54:33
Speaker 2: subconscious mind takes you at your word and sees to
54:36
Speaker 2: it that you do not have the money or the
54:38
Speaker 2: ability to do what you want to do. Affirm I
54:51
Speaker 2: can do all things through the power of my subconscious mind.
54:56
Speaker 2: The law of life is the law of belief. A
54:59
Speaker 2: belief is a thought in your mind. Change your thoughts
55:17
Speaker 2: and you change your destiny. Begin now to recognize these
55:21
Speaker 2: potentialities of your deeper mind, and they will take form
55:24
Speaker 2: in the world without. The infinite intelligence within your subconscious
55:36
Speaker 2: mind can reveal to you everything you need to know
55:38
Speaker 2: at every moment of time and point of space, provided
55:41
Speaker 2: you are open minded and receptive. You have a mind,
55:47
Speaker 2: and you should learn how to use it. There are
55:56
Speaker 2: two levels of your mind, the conscious or rational level,
56:00
Speaker 2: and the subconscious or irrational level. You must remember that
56:05
Speaker 2: these are not to minds. They are merely two spheres
56:08
Speaker 2: of activity within one mind. Your conscious mind is the
56:14
Speaker 2: reasoning mind. It is that phase of mind which chooses,
56:18
Speaker 2: For example, you choose your books, your home, and your
56:21
Speaker 2: partner in life. You make all your decisions with your
56:25
Speaker 2: conscious mind. On the other hand, without any conscious choice
56:32
Speaker 2: on your part, your heart is kept functioning automatically, and
56:36
Speaker 2: the process of digestion, circulation, and breathing are carried on
56:40
Speaker 2: by your subconscious mind through processes independent of your conscious control.
56:48
Speaker 2: Your subconscious mind accepts what is impressed upon it or
56:51
Speaker 2: what you consciously believe. It does not reason things out
56:55
Speaker 2: like your conscious mind, and it does not argue with
56:58
Speaker 2: you controversially. Your subconscious mind is like the soil, which
57:02
Speaker 2: accepts any kind of seed, good or bad. Your thoughts
57:09
Speaker 2: are active and might be likened onto seeds. Negative destructive
57:16
Speaker 2: thoughts continue to work negatively in your subconscious mind, and
57:19
Speaker 2: in due time will come forth into outer experience which
57:22
Speaker 2: corresponds with them. Remember, your subconscious mind does not engage
57:28
Speaker 2: in proving whether your thoughts are good or bad, true
57:30
Speaker 2: or false, but it responds according to the nature of
57:33
Speaker 2: your thoughts or suggestions. You think with your conscious mind,
57:40
Speaker 2: and whatever you habitually think sinks down into your subconscious mind,
57:43
Speaker 2: which creates according to the nature of your thoughts. Your
57:48
Speaker 2: subconscious mind is the seat of your emotions and is
57:51
Speaker 2: the creative mind. The main point to remember is once
57:56
Speaker 2: the subconscious mind accepts an idea, it begins to execute it.
58:00
Speaker 2: It is an interesting and subtle truth that the law
58:05
Speaker 2: of the subconscious mind works for good and bad ideas alike.
58:11
Speaker 2: This law, when applied in a negative way, is the
58:14
Speaker 2: cause of failure, frustration, and unhappiness. The law of your
58:21
Speaker 2: mind is this, You will get a reaction or response
58:24
Speaker 2: from your subconscious mind according to the nature of the
58:26
Speaker 2: thought or idea you hold in your conscious mind. If
58:33
Speaker 2: you have conveyed erroneous thoughts to your subconscious mind, the
58:36
Speaker 2: sure method of overcoming them is by the repetition of constructive,
58:40
Speaker 2: harmonious thoughts, frequently repeated, which your subconscious mind accepts, thus
58:45
Speaker 2: forming new and healthy habits of thought and life. For
58:48
Speaker 2: your subconscious mind is the seat of habit. The habitual
58:54
Speaker 2: thinking of your conscious mind establishes deep grooves in your
58:57
Speaker 2: subconscious mind. This is very favorable for you if your
59:00
Speaker 2: habitual thoughts are harmonious, peaceful, and constructive. If you have
59:10
Speaker 2: indulged in fear, worry, and other destructive forms of thinking,
59:13
Speaker 2: the remedy is to recognize the omnipotence of your subconscious mind.
59:17
Speaker 2: Your subconscious mind, being creative and one with your divine source,
59:21
Speaker 2: will proceed to create the freedom and happiness which you
59:24
Speaker 2: have earnestly decreed. You must realize by now that your
59:28
Speaker 2: conscious mind is the watchman at the gate, and its
59:31
Speaker 2: chief function is to protect your subconscious mind from false impressions.
1:00:00
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