Latest / Vanity Farah with Chris Farah / 90 Day Fiancé The Other Way Season 8 Episode 2 “Kiasu, Kancheong, and Carry On” my Part 2

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90 Day Fiancé The Other Way Season 8 Episode 2 “Kiasu, Kancheong, and Carry On” my Part 2 · Vanity Farah with Chris Farah

0:02
Speaker 1: Hi, welcome back to Vanity Fair. My name is Chris Farah,
0:09
Speaker 1: and this is part two of me talking about 90
0:11
Speaker 1: Day Fiancé.
0:12
Speaker 2: It's the other way. It's season eight, episode two, Kiasu, Kancheung,
0:16
Speaker 2: and Carry On. Oh, goodness gracious. So I actually did...
0:22
Speaker 2: look that up. She does, when we talk about, I mean,
0:24
Speaker 2: we'll talk about this, I guess when Allie, we can
0:27
Speaker 2: move on. Maybe we'll just start with Allie. Okay. Allie, honey,
0:30
Speaker 2: and Jonathan, they go to a hawker center, which is
0:33
Speaker 2: a food court. Okay. And they teach us about chopping,
0:36
Speaker 2: which is putting like a little tissue box down, reserving
0:39
Speaker 2: a table before you even go to order. And it's
0:42
Speaker 2: because we get introduced to the concept of, and I'm
0:45
Speaker 2: not saying it right, but what I just said, which
0:48
Speaker 2: is I'm writing it right here. It's Kyatso Kanchang. Okay.
0:55
Speaker 2: So basically, God bless. It's kind of like the idea
0:59
Speaker 2: of FOMO or the fear of missing out. Singapore is
1:03
Speaker 2: one of the heavily industrialized Asian nations and went through
1:07
Speaker 2: like wild amounts of prosperity and economic development. You can,
1:13
Speaker 2: as well as obviously known for having very, very stringent order,
1:19
Speaker 2: law and order laws. So what comes, I guess, out
1:25
Speaker 2: of this is a cultural idea of the fear of
1:32
Speaker 2: missing out. So the way that that is, I guess,
1:37
Speaker 2: exemplified in culture would be this chopping idea of like
1:41
Speaker 2: fear of missing out on a table. I've got to
1:42
Speaker 2: get my table. And so I it brings anxiety, the
1:47
Speaker 2: thought of lacking or not having or whatnot. And so
1:52
Speaker 2: I got to get there and I have to put
1:53
Speaker 2: my table together. And it's funny because it's not just,
1:57
Speaker 2: of course, like a Singaporean thing. concept, although it's interesting
2:01
Speaker 2: that a whole culture agrees. And it feels like anxiety. Yeah,
2:05
Speaker 2: there's the anxiety that things are going to go wrong
2:09
Speaker 2: and that you have to hyper plan and that almost
2:13
Speaker 2: like catastrophizing what would happen if the worst case scenario happened,
2:18
Speaker 2: which in one situation would be like, if we don't
2:20
Speaker 2: have a place to sit, if we have food. And
2:25
Speaker 2: what is the possibility that that's going to happen? And whatnot.
2:30
Speaker 2: So that's interesting. But another thing that it manifests in,
2:33
Speaker 2: and this is when I did a deep dive, is
2:36
Speaker 2: even the idea of limited edition or places that require
2:41
Speaker 2: like a reservation or to stand in line. The idea
2:44
Speaker 2: that you will do that because the fear of missing
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Speaker 2: out or not getting a little piece or not experiencing
2:50
Speaker 2: something is overwhelming and you want to be a part
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Speaker 2: of it and you have like a certain kind of
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Speaker 2: like need. So that's, it's an interesting concept. Okay, that's
2:58
Speaker 2: what that is. OK, so obviously we're hot on the
3:03
Speaker 2: heels of them yelling at each other and really mostly
3:06
Speaker 2: her chastising him, obviously, about the vaping and him being like,
3:11
Speaker 2: stop fucking talking to me that way. But we're now
3:13
Speaker 2: past that because he loves food and at a food court,
3:16
Speaker 2: they go and get like different. options he gets chicken
3:20
Speaker 2: he likes chicken there's cameras everywhere we get these little
3:23
Speaker 2: like tidbits like there's a fine for spitting which I
3:26
Speaker 2: knew a fine for littering which I knew a no
3:28
Speaker 2: flush fine which I didn't know um now she sits
3:32
Speaker 2: down and he's like well how are you how have
3:35
Speaker 2: you been she's like tired I'm still working and she's
3:38
Speaker 2: very quick to be like because you haven't retired me
3:40
Speaker 2: yet and he's very quick to be like and I'm
3:42
Speaker 2: glad because you get medical coverage by your job. And
3:49
Speaker 2: she's like, well, I only get a certain amount. And
3:51
Speaker 2: that's why I need the money that I've informed you
3:54
Speaker 2: to save, which is around $ 10, 000 because I experienced, as
3:59
Speaker 2: I've said, Kenchang, which is, I feel like I want
4:02
Speaker 2: things to be set and I get anxiety if things
4:06
Speaker 2: aren't set in such a way and not having the
4:10
Speaker 2: 10K I requested saved so that I can go into
4:13
Speaker 2: this next chapter knowing that I'm safe makes me feel well,
4:18
Speaker 2: obviously unsafe and frantic, chaotic. And he, his demeanor is weird.
4:26
Speaker 2: At one point he's like, well, 10K isn't that much.
4:29
Speaker 2: And so she's like, well, why haven't you saved it yet?
4:31
Speaker 2: And we, me, I'm like, yeah, well, what's happening? Is
4:38
Speaker 2: 10K just something that you just have to somehow make
4:41
Speaker 2: a little transfer from something to get liquid 10K? Okay.
4:48
Speaker 2: He is an interesting person, surely. His whole thing is
4:55
Speaker 2: that he has a sonar equipment making business with his dad.
5:02
Speaker 2: And he's like, yeah, I have that business and we
5:04
Speaker 2: are going to, I assume, transfer manufacturing over here to
5:08
Speaker 2: Malaysia or Singapore and I'll be over here and we
5:11
Speaker 2: can do that. But Up until that happens, he's going
5:15
Speaker 2: to then get a secondary job here in Singapore. That
5:20
Speaker 2: doesn't quite make sense to me because I'm like, well,
5:23
Speaker 2: if you've been having this job with American contracts, I'm
5:28
Speaker 2: assuming that you get money. That monthly, you've already made
5:34
Speaker 2: things and there's also things happening. I don't quite understand
5:38
Speaker 2: why you need to get a job immediately to cover...
5:42
Speaker 2: incidentals because you still be making money in america let
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Speaker 2: me just transfer that but there's always been weird talk
5:52
Speaker 2: about why he has to kick out his ex-wife doesn't
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Speaker 2: make any sense like is it because he then has
5:57
Speaker 2: to suddenly sell or rent out that home so he's
5:59
Speaker 2: not going to just kick out the ex-wife he's going
6:01
Speaker 2: to kick out the son if there's a son still
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Speaker 2: living there or is he going to rent out the
6:04
Speaker 2: ex-wife's room right what It's weird, right? Again, he's like
6:13
Speaker 2: going in between 10,000 isn't a lot of money. I
6:15
Speaker 2: don't know why you're making, why we're talking about this.
6:17
Speaker 2: Do we have to be talking about this? And also
6:19
Speaker 2: I'm a grown ass man. Don't talk to me that way.
6:21
Speaker 2: He's kind of going between that as well as, and
6:24
Speaker 2: therefore making her look controlling, but then also not being
6:29
Speaker 2: able to assert himself in a way because his ducks
6:36
Speaker 2: are obviously in a row. If 10K is easy to get,
6:43
Speaker 2: then why don't you have it? If she asked you
6:46
Speaker 2: for a 10K and she keeps saying how you save
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Speaker 2: for it and you're a man with a goddamn business,
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Speaker 2: I mean, why is there not just 10K sort of
6:53
Speaker 2: like an easy get for you to transfer from some
6:56
Speaker 2: honey account that maybe is a stock portfolio or some
7:01
Speaker 2: sort of Vanguard investment? I'm just saying. Because if you
7:07
Speaker 2: own a business that does... What I'm assuming is the
7:10
Speaker 2: engineering work that he does, I think that he's not
7:15
Speaker 2: wrong that $ 10, 000 isn't that expensive. And if you really
7:19
Speaker 2: want this young-ass girl to shut the fuck up, then
7:21
Speaker 2: why wouldn't you handle your business? Be like, oh, I
7:23
Speaker 2: got it. Easy. It's fine. Also, he has been married
7:29
Speaker 2: for a second, so why wouldn't he assume that someone
7:31
Speaker 2: who's pregnant needs to feel a certain amount of comfort
7:34
Speaker 2: or security and that you have literally one job, which is,
7:39
Speaker 2: in this traditional sense, to protect and provide for her,
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Speaker 2: this young girl you decided to knock up because you
7:46
Speaker 2: can't put a condom on. I'm not saying she did either, but,
7:51
Speaker 2: you know, it's just, it's... It's not a good sign.
7:57
Speaker 2: He seems really weird. And I want and I crave
8:00
Speaker 2: and I desire somehow to get his ex-wife's opinion on
8:04
Speaker 2: the entire situation. I mean, I know I've said it before.
8:08
Speaker 2: I'll say it again. Like, I'd pay for it. If
8:09
Speaker 2: she was on Cameo, I'd pay for it. Oh, my God. So, yeah, like,
8:15
Speaker 2: the scenes from next week show him being, like, a
8:21
Speaker 2: full crybaby, like, beta male. Little sub-sub. Sad little sub-sub.
8:31
Speaker 2: She feels like she's running that show with him. I
8:38
Speaker 2: want to know when he is making her feel uncomfortable
8:42
Speaker 2: and not safe if she still loves the smell of
8:44
Speaker 2: his armpits. Anyway. Okay. So, let's move on to... Zuri
8:53
Speaker 2: and Ben, honey, brand new couple. And I'm excited about it.
8:57
Speaker 2: So Zuri and Ben, we have not met yet. Um,
8:59
Speaker 2: we obviously haven't seen Kenny and Armando though. We know them.
9:02
Speaker 2: So it's not like the biggest thing, but we're into,
9:06
Speaker 2: we're into our new couple and we actually have another
9:10
Speaker 2: new couple. We haven't met yet either. So this is
9:12
Speaker 2: Zuri and Ben super cute. Um, on the same docket.
9:17
Speaker 2: We haven't met this, these people yet. Okay. Okay. We
9:23
Speaker 2: open on a guy shooting a music video and we're
9:25
Speaker 2: a little bit like, oh my God, dear God, oh
9:27
Speaker 2: my God, please, please, please. We can only have like
9:31
Speaker 2: one performer and I don't even want to have a
9:34
Speaker 2: performer on a season. We already have Andy and she's
9:36
Speaker 2: a good enough singer. Please don't let there be like
9:38
Speaker 2: another person, honey, trying to like get their fame. And
9:41
Speaker 2: he has a good voice and we realize it's Zuri
9:45
Speaker 2: who is the social media director for a music label.
9:47
Speaker 2: And so she's doing her business, honey, directing the shoot.
9:51
Speaker 2: She says that she's an only child, same girl, same.
9:54
Speaker 2: And she's like, only childs are. And then I'm like, girl,
9:57
Speaker 2: it's only children at some point. Come on. Um, But
10:00
Speaker 2: she says only childs are put in a lot of
10:02
Speaker 2: social situations alone, but some people are awkward about it.
10:06
Speaker 2: I'm not. And the truth of the matter is that's
10:09
Speaker 2: absolutely fucking true. I was put into so many social
10:12
Speaker 2: situations when I was young. I have ramifications for it.
10:14
Speaker 2: My social battery gets drained very fast. I think I'm
10:17
Speaker 2: a people pleaser. And also I get really weirded out
10:19
Speaker 2: not knowing how to say people's names or not remembering
10:22
Speaker 2: people's names or not remembering people. That happened all the
10:26
Speaker 2: time for some reason, because my mom and my dad
10:28
Speaker 2: were like, you know, big, big partiers, just kidding, but
10:32
Speaker 2: like big hosts or whatever. And so people would always
10:34
Speaker 2: be like, remember me, remember me, remember me? Because I
10:36
Speaker 2: was their first child. And so I'd be like, no,
10:39
Speaker 2: I know we feel so bad about it. They'd be like, oh,
10:42
Speaker 2: I'm your ba-ba-ba. And I'd be like, I met you what,
10:44
Speaker 2: fucking what, once? And I was three, and now what,
10:46
Speaker 2: I'm six? I hate that. Anyway, moving on. So Zuri
10:53
Speaker 2: is like, I have two sides of me. There's French
10:56
Speaker 2: and American. We're like, oh. And then we're going to go,
10:59
Speaker 2: once we go into her story, we're going to be like, girl,
11:01
Speaker 2: I think they really only have one side of you,
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Speaker 2: and it's American, because you don't like the France. She
11:07
Speaker 2: calls herself a Francophile, but she's not really. You don't
11:10
Speaker 2: like France. And even given the opportunity to dive into
11:16
Speaker 2: French culture and language by having like your beloved being it,
11:21
Speaker 2: you didn't do it. Okay. So we see him, honey,
11:25
Speaker 2: and he is working. He sells farm equipment as like
11:29
Speaker 2: a family biz. Okay. We get their backstory. She was
11:32
Speaker 2: in grad school and met him out in the club
11:35
Speaker 2: in London. She's American. He's French, honey. She has like
11:40
Speaker 2: curly ass hair. He's, you know, French. And they just
11:45
Speaker 2: were like smitten with each other. They talk a lot.
11:49
Speaker 2: He invites her to France. He puts together a whole
11:52
Speaker 2: ass weekend. It's whirlwind. It's romantic. He plans everything. She
11:56
Speaker 2: tries snails. But yeah, so she moves in after graduation,
12:05
Speaker 2: but things do not go on plan, she says. Later on,
12:08
Speaker 2: it's because he has shitty friends. who do not respect him,
12:15
Speaker 2: and he doesn't love or respect himself enough to stand
12:22
Speaker 2: up to his shitty friends. And it's the red flag
12:30
Speaker 2: of red flags. In itself, that is it. It is
12:34
Speaker 2: very obvious on this show, when people... don't have boundaries
12:39
Speaker 2: in their lives, A, or B, have made a series,
12:43
Speaker 2: I guess, of unfortunate mistakes that their loved ones haven't
12:47
Speaker 2: forgiven them for or have resentment towards them against. And
12:50
Speaker 2: so therefore, the choices that they make for their lives,
12:53
Speaker 2: big choices like where to live or who to be with,
12:57
Speaker 2: are met with disapproval, disgust, or yeah, like judgment. If
13:07
Speaker 2: that is the case, then yeah, it's an interesting situation.
13:11
Speaker 2: We see it a lot. I bring it up because
13:13
Speaker 2: I feel like it happened with Rebecca. The first time
13:15
Speaker 2: we said Rebecca and Zayed, when Rebecca was talking to
13:17
Speaker 2: her family, it was obvious that they were like, oh
13:20
Speaker 2: my God, Rebecca is being Rebecca fucking again, which is
13:23
Speaker 2: a goddamn mess, making messy decisions and being dumb about it.
13:26
Speaker 2: That's kind of the vibe, right? In this situation... His
13:31
Speaker 2: friends are like, oh, she's not good enough for him,
13:33
Speaker 2: and so we're going to be disrespectful and mean towards
13:36
Speaker 2: her in front of him, and he's not going to
13:39
Speaker 2: do anything about it? He's going to let them? No. Okay,
13:51
Speaker 2: so basically, she's super cute, and she, after leaving France,
13:56
Speaker 2: goes back to America, lives with her parents, and we...
14:00
Speaker 2: pick up and her mom and her are making king cakes.
14:05
Speaker 2: And I've never seen one made before, but they say
14:09
Speaker 2: it's like basically a big ass cinnamon roll. It looks great.
14:12
Speaker 2: Now she comes from some privilege. It was awesome that
14:16
Speaker 2: she went to grad school. I was so happy for
14:18
Speaker 2: her and she got to do it in London. She
14:20
Speaker 2: dresses super cute. Her mom has three bakeries named after her.
14:24
Speaker 2: She can't even bake. This house is gorgeous. They have
14:28
Speaker 2: drive fancy ass cars. Um, you know, God bless. Okay.
14:33
Speaker 2: So she says though, yeah, she couldn't speak French when
14:37
Speaker 2: she was there and got depressed. And I kind of
14:38
Speaker 2: would be like, but were you learning? I did a
14:43
Speaker 2: study abroad in France for a summer in college. And
14:47
Speaker 2: while I was there, I was, did a lot of theater.
14:49
Speaker 2: And then I had to take French because this is
14:50
Speaker 2: a college course. And so, you know, I took like
14:53
Speaker 2: miscellaneous theater courses in French, like literally just French. And
14:58
Speaker 2: I love languages. If you are living somewhere, and especially
15:05
Speaker 2: if you could have any other romantic language foundation. Like I,
15:14
Speaker 2: in California, had studied Spanish in high school. And so
15:17
Speaker 2: when I went to college, I obviously had like a
15:20
Speaker 2: Spanish background. Loosely, I'll say that. But it helped and hindered, right?
15:26
Speaker 2: Because it helped because there's a lot of like similar...
15:29
Speaker 2: words and you can kind of like pick up and
15:30
Speaker 2: it hindered because the accents are so grossly different i
15:33
Speaker 2: still can't even do a french accent okay it's just
15:37
Speaker 2: interesting to me that this smart ass girl was living
15:39
Speaker 2: in france with like a french dude watching french tv
15:43
Speaker 2: and she like couldn't pick up the language i want
15:46
Speaker 2: to i just can't imagine it would take that long
15:50
Speaker 2: She can't communicate with his friends, she said. And half
15:53
Speaker 2: of that's like a vibe thing. And they complain about
15:57
Speaker 2: that with her, like she doesn't really trust, she can't speak.
16:00
Speaker 2: And so she also tells her mom in these moments,
16:03
Speaker 2: they probably think I have no personality or I'm not
16:05
Speaker 2: funny because I'm sitting there and not talking. And it's like, yeah,
16:11
Speaker 2: that sucks. But there's also like the disrespect as well.
16:16
Speaker 2: Was there at all a marketed difference from when you
16:19
Speaker 2: first got there to like later? Did you just like
16:21
Speaker 2: give up? But the other situation is that then she's like,
16:28
Speaker 2: it's not just that. They threw ice at me once.
16:30
Speaker 2: This like rude ass dude fucking threw ice at me.
16:33
Speaker 2: And then one time they put up a picture of
16:37
Speaker 2: Ben with some other girl in the refrigerator. And that
16:39
Speaker 2: is like unforgivable. That's where Ben, I'm like, that's Ben's fault.
16:43
Speaker 2: Ben should never have let that happen. If someone threw
16:46
Speaker 2: ice at you and it was your lover or playmates,
16:51
Speaker 2: part-time lover or playmates, or even full-time lovers, friend, it's
16:57
Speaker 2: on like that friend, that lover to be like, what
17:00
Speaker 2: the fuck are you doing? You do not, hey, apologize
17:06
Speaker 2: and never throw anything at my girlfriend again. The fact
17:10
Speaker 2: that didn't happen, I don't understand how she forgives him.
17:15
Speaker 2: That happened to me. I did date someone where I
17:18
Speaker 2: felt like I was with him and his friends and
17:20
Speaker 2: one of his friends got really drunk and like kind
17:24
Speaker 2: of was like yelling at me. And I broke up
17:28
Speaker 2: with him like two years later. And I look back
17:30
Speaker 2: at that one moment and I remember being, I think
17:33
Speaker 2: it's the one moment where I was like, oh, there's,
17:35
Speaker 2: I blame myself for not leaving that night and never
17:39
Speaker 2: going back to that person. There's like, because I think respect-wise,
17:45
Speaker 2: it speaks to something from two sides. A, that Ben
17:49
Speaker 2: doesn't respect himself enough to stand up to his friends. B,
17:52
Speaker 2: he doesn't respect himself. So why would he respect her
17:54
Speaker 2: enough to stand up to his friends? And then C,
17:57
Speaker 2: his friends don't respect him. His friends don't respect his girlfriend. D, like,
18:02
Speaker 2: how do you not internalize that as Zuri being like,
18:07
Speaker 2: he doesn't respect me. I don't respect. It's like, it's just,
18:10
Speaker 2: it's not it. It's as Chloe would say, it's just
18:14
Speaker 2: not it. Okay. So as she's packing her things, she
18:22
Speaker 2: packs enchilada sauce because she's like, I'm not going to
18:24
Speaker 2: be able to get that there. That was interesting to me.
18:30
Speaker 2: What's in enchilada sauce? It's like tomato, not paste, tomato
18:36
Speaker 2: puree or pepper paste and like different spices. You can't
18:40
Speaker 2: just like make that. Cause they definitely, I mean, they
18:45
Speaker 2: definitely have tomatoes and peppers there. I guess the spice profile,
18:48
Speaker 2: especially if you like a certain canned spice profile. Okay. Um,
18:53
Speaker 2: she looks like a little school girl, like a little
18:55
Speaker 2: English school girl in this red cap, red coat and
18:58
Speaker 2: black beret and these like stockings. Um, She hugs her parents.
19:02
Speaker 2: She ends up, she had a little farewell party with
19:05
Speaker 2: her friends and her friends were like, what are you
19:07
Speaker 2: going to do about the fact that you think that
19:09
Speaker 2: he's cheating on you? Which is like a weird situation
19:12
Speaker 2: where one time she was with him and he was
19:15
Speaker 2: like texting in English. And then it was like some
19:17
Speaker 2: woman that for some reason he was talking about his
19:20
Speaker 2: relationship with. I don't know if it was like someone
19:22
Speaker 2: he knows in real life or someone he just met online,
19:25
Speaker 2: but then they like added each other after she made
19:28
Speaker 2: him delete her, that girl on Instagram. I hate that
19:32
Speaker 2: kind of like storyline where there's going to be like
19:34
Speaker 2: receipts or going to talk about phones and stuff like that.
19:38
Speaker 2: So anyway, she hugs her parents goodbye. And then her
19:40
Speaker 2: mom drives from the car and the dad has to
19:42
Speaker 2: stay because honey, her dad chickens out from taking her
19:45
Speaker 2: to the airport. It's too hard for him, but she's
19:48
Speaker 2: very close to her mom. And I get that her
19:49
Speaker 2: mom's like, you don't have to leave. You can just stay.
19:52
Speaker 2: Just decide if you want to at any minute, any
19:54
Speaker 2: last moment, you decide hail Mary last 11th hour to
19:57
Speaker 2: finally be like, are you saying no, no, you can
19:59
Speaker 2: just keep, you can just consider every moment still an
20:04
Speaker 2: option if you just want to stay. And it's so cute, right?
20:08
Speaker 2: We cut to him with his two ass dumbass friends.
20:10
Speaker 2: One's named Victor and one's name is Flora Mond. They're like,
20:14
Speaker 2: is your dumb American girl coming tomorrow that we hate?
20:19
Speaker 2: Ben's like, yep. They're like, well, did she learn French yet? God,
20:27
Speaker 2: like Ben doesn't say anything like, hey, you guys are
20:30
Speaker 2: really hard on her. Or she just doesn't speak French,
20:32
Speaker 2: but she's very cute or very funny. Or can you
20:35
Speaker 2: guys at least... Be nice to her for my sake
20:38
Speaker 2: because I'm your friend and you want me to be happy.
20:40
Speaker 2: They're just like, you know, she's no good for you.
20:45
Speaker 2: When he doesn't say anything, I want to be like, oh, okay.
20:48
Speaker 2: So you think, is there a morsel bend in your
20:50
Speaker 2: mind that you think that's true? Because what is like
20:56
Speaker 2: the follow-up? If that was the first time you heard that,
21:00
Speaker 2: you'd be like, what do you mean? Who else do
21:03
Speaker 2: you have in mind? But he does it. And definitely
21:09
Speaker 2: this Victor looks like he's a fucking bully. I mean,
21:11
Speaker 2: I would cast him as a bully in a heartbeat.
21:13
Speaker 2: And this Flora Mon, honey, looks like he is like
21:17
Speaker 2: the American version of the guy that like is a
21:19
Speaker 2: defensive lineman on the football field and gets tackled a bunch.
21:24
Speaker 2: You know, like it's that kind of feeling. Yeah, Ben
21:29
Speaker 2: is just like a little weak guy, a little weak nerd.
21:37
Speaker 2: I mean, it's not a respectable thing. I think that
21:40
Speaker 2: he really has to stand on his own two feet.
21:43
Speaker 2: And I mean, irregardless of what he does, he has
21:48
Speaker 2: to command or demand respect from his friends over his
21:54
Speaker 2: choices or... I don't know. Okay, Niles and Matilda. Okay,
22:01
Speaker 2: my loves. Oh, Niles and Matilda. Yeah. So he's getting
22:06
Speaker 2: his hair cut and it's obviously been a long ass
22:08
Speaker 2: time because the hair is fluffy. And he is talking
22:13
Speaker 2: to his hairdresser and it's a good, you know, nice,
22:17
Speaker 2: friendly kind of convo. He has his best friend he
22:20
Speaker 2: played video games with. He has this haircut person that
22:24
Speaker 2: we can tell he hasn't seen in a moment. He
22:26
Speaker 2: still has... what feels like a distant relationship with his family.
22:32
Speaker 2: They definitely don't want to be on the show. So
22:34
Speaker 2: we don't know exactly how often they talk or see
22:36
Speaker 2: each other. But they not only don't want to be
22:38
Speaker 2: on the show, they still are like, no, no to
22:40
Speaker 2: this Matilda situation. Next scene is he's standing in an
22:43
Speaker 2: empty apartment. He's packing his purple hardshell expander case. He
22:48
Speaker 2: says he wants his squishy mommy to appreciate the decision
22:52
Speaker 2: that he's making that's best for the family. And we're like,
22:55
Speaker 2: maybe she's not. She's not going to. Because, of course,
23:00
Speaker 2: he's coming with the hot-ass secret that instead of bringing
23:04
Speaker 2: her to America like he promised her that he was
23:06
Speaker 2: going to do a year and a half ago, it's
23:10
Speaker 2: too hard for whatever reason. And so he has decided
23:13
Speaker 2: to just move there, to be with his best friend, Matilda,
23:18
Speaker 2: and Mr. Ark, his new dad. Okay, so... We got
23:23
Speaker 2: to Matilda, who's cooking with her sisters, including Charlotte, and
23:27
Speaker 2: they discussed Niall's arrival. Their mom is also there. And
23:31
Speaker 2: someone in mom's church, I guess, got married to an American.
23:35
Speaker 2: And it took like two months. And that person was
23:38
Speaker 2: like in America. So they for sure blame Niall's for
23:43
Speaker 2: the holdup. And that was interesting to me because... We
23:49
Speaker 2: assume the following. Niles said that he, we know that
23:52
Speaker 2: Niles has autism, God bless him. And we know that
23:54
Speaker 2: that could impair executive functioning, not just autism, ADHD too, Nigel, me, anyway. Okay.
24:01
Speaker 2: Because of that, obviously the visa process and is a
24:04
Speaker 2: lot of administrative bureaucratic paperwork. And so we can see
24:08
Speaker 2: how that would be problematic for such a person. But
24:11
Speaker 2: if you remember, I think it was like Sarper. Someone
24:14
Speaker 2: was like, I'm going to help you get this done.
24:16
Speaker 2: to Niles in that tell-all. Now, we don't know if
24:18
Speaker 2: that happened because obviously it's been two years. And by that,
24:22
Speaker 2: we also don't know what the holdup is. Is Niles,
24:25
Speaker 2: is everything turned in? But they're like, I don't know,
24:28
Speaker 2: because either his income isn't up to speed or Ghana
24:32
Speaker 2: is a hard place to get people, visas from. We
24:36
Speaker 2: don't know either one. I always kind of assume that
24:42
Speaker 2: it's just a hard thing to get a visa through,
24:44
Speaker 2: but- Maybe it's not, and maybe he's holding it up. I,
24:49
Speaker 2: at first, was like, well, what does Matilda's family think?
24:52
Speaker 2: And definitely all the responsibility in Gil is all on Niles.
24:57
Speaker 2: It's shameful that he's taking this long to get Matilda.
24:59
Speaker 2: And Matilda feels that shame, and she's also embarrassed, okay?
25:03
Speaker 2: But then she's like, you guys, but he's coming. Hello,
25:05
Speaker 2: he's coming. And he says that he has a really
25:07
Speaker 2: big surprise for me. So I don't know what that means,
25:09
Speaker 2: but I'm just guessing it means a new ring or
25:11
Speaker 2: a new car. Or... That actually he's just picking me
25:15
Speaker 2: up and we're going to go straight to the visa
25:17
Speaker 2: interview and then I'm going to go on a plane
25:18
Speaker 2: back to America. Now, all of us are like, like
25:26
Speaker 2: all of those are wrong answers, honey. And you three
25:28
Speaker 2: are out. None of those things are happening. Matilda, by now,
25:34
Speaker 2: why do you think that Niles is going to come
25:37
Speaker 2: and buy you a new car? How much are new
25:39
Speaker 2: cars there? Maybe they're not that expensive. Miles doesn't have
25:47
Speaker 2: a lot of money. Money is, I guess, subjective in
25:50
Speaker 2: relationship to what that means. He's not doing that when
25:57
Speaker 2: he's definitely not getting her, picking her up and taking
26:00
Speaker 2: her to America like a carpool, like a parent, you know,
26:04
Speaker 2: like coming, picking you up from a concert, coming there
26:08
Speaker 2: and getting you, bringing you back, you know? But it
26:12
Speaker 2: is the perfect setup for absolute devastation. Right? Sets someone
26:18
Speaker 2: up for default. That's what this is. So he gets
26:24
Speaker 2: in a fancy Mercedes black car. So he obviously is
26:27
Speaker 2: Uber black or that was the car that picked him
26:29
Speaker 2: up for the same price and I'm happy. to the
26:31
Speaker 2: airport and he laments that it's not his biological family
26:34
Speaker 2: coming to bring him to the airport. Being like, here
26:36
Speaker 2: you are as we set off for your new life in,
26:40
Speaker 2: you know, your Ghana with your sweetheart that we all support. Matilda,
26:44
Speaker 2: we can't wait and we'll go visit you. Like none
26:45
Speaker 2: of that happened, right? And he feels that. It's sad
26:47
Speaker 2: for him. So in the car, as he like tells
26:50
Speaker 2: us to the Uber driver, he also decides to call
26:52
Speaker 2: his dad, goes right to voicemail. He's at the airport
26:56
Speaker 2: and he's waiting alone and he starts sort of weeping.
26:59
Speaker 2: Thinking about the fact that, yeah, he doesn't have like
27:03
Speaker 2: a family support system. And this is like a very
27:05
Speaker 2: big deal in his life. And he certainly, I'm sure,
27:07
Speaker 2: would appreciate having someone there to show up for him,
27:14
Speaker 2: you know. And that loneliness in itself would drive any
27:22
Speaker 2: person with a heart to do anything to find companionship.
27:30
Speaker 2: So like when I speak about like profound loneliness, it's
27:33
Speaker 2: interesting how it happens, right? Poor Niles. I want the
27:41
Speaker 2: best for everyone. And I want the best for Niles.
27:44
Speaker 2: I want the best for Matilda. And I hope that
27:47
Speaker 2: Matilda's like intentions are true. Because as much as she
27:51
Speaker 2: is adorable and cute, and I do like her sassy personality, I... Yeah.
27:58
Speaker 2: I don't know sometimes. And I'm like afraid to see
28:02
Speaker 2: like what it will be with her. So we'll see. Okay. Um, yeah,
28:07
Speaker 2: this gives me anxiety. This gives me can chiong. But
28:12
Speaker 2: instead of like the fear of missing out, I want
28:14
Speaker 2: to miss out on her anger. Okay. So you know what?
28:19
Speaker 2: He has a two. Okay. So he's crying, I said,
28:22
Speaker 2: at the airport. And that's when he decides to call Mr. Ark, right?
28:25
Speaker 2: FaceTime him. And Mr. Ark, honey, answers from an up angle.
28:28
Speaker 2: And Mr. Ark, honey, I'll tell you right now, has
28:30
Speaker 2: a lot of nose hairs and they've aged as much
28:32
Speaker 2: as the hair on his head. They're gray. And Mr.
28:35
Speaker 2: Ark's like, what's happening? And he's like, I'm coming. He's like, great.
28:38
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, I'm coming. I'm going to stay there.
28:40
Speaker 2: And he's like, okay, well, first of all, come right
28:43
Speaker 2: from the airport to see me. I have to go
28:45
Speaker 2: talk to her family. And then you're going to come
28:47
Speaker 2: stay with me. And he's like, Thanks, dad. Because I
28:55
Speaker 2: think Nigel, I think Niles, well, I mean, yeah, wants
29:02
Speaker 2: to feel cared for, loved and supported. And on a
29:08
Speaker 2: flip side, in this moment, you can see like the
29:15
Speaker 2: need for that kind of love will, in a lot
29:20
Speaker 2: of positive ways, be great for someone, but you can
29:23
Speaker 2: see how it could also be used to manipulate someone.
29:27
Speaker 2: Like if Mr. Ark was the guru of some crazy cult,
29:32
Speaker 2: I'm not saying he's not, and I'm not saying he is,
29:34
Speaker 2: but let's just say he is for sure. Extending the
29:40
Speaker 2: kind of love acceptance and almost familiarity like the familiar
29:46
Speaker 2: responsibility and obligation that he does to Niles in turn
29:52
Speaker 2: makes Niles dependent on him and you know like sort
29:57
Speaker 2: of tethers Niles to him right and I think Mr.
30:00
Speaker 2: Arc is a fine person, but you can see how people, yeah,
30:05
Speaker 2: are manipulated because they lack support or love in their
30:09
Speaker 2: lives and it's something they so need and want that
30:11
Speaker 2: the idea and offer of it will, you know, will
30:13
Speaker 2: make a fan for a lifetime out of someone, okay?
30:18
Speaker 2: Which is what I'm doing here, which is my transition
30:23
Speaker 2: to say, if you feel profound loneliness in your life,
30:28
Speaker 2: think of me as your Mr. Arc. You are my
30:30
Speaker 2: babies and I am your mother and I will always
30:35
Speaker 2: love my babies. And if you ever need anything, I
30:39
Speaker 2: am here. You are now mine. It's like that kind
30:42
Speaker 2: of stuff, right? Does that work? Now just go to
30:45
Speaker 2: my patreon.com slash Chris Farah, my lovey babies, my little pets,
30:51
Speaker 2: and give mommy some love. Gross. But also... Okay. So
30:59
Speaker 2: now he's like, okay, I got to go land. I
31:02
Speaker 2: have to occur. I have to get to Ghana. She's
31:04
Speaker 2: going to pick me up. I have to be like, babe,
31:06
Speaker 2: we have to stop by Mr. Ark's and then we
31:07
Speaker 2: have to pick up Mr. Ark and then we go
31:08
Speaker 2: to your parents and then we get Mr. Ark to
31:10
Speaker 2: weather the storm of their interrogation of why it took
31:13
Speaker 2: so long. And also I got to tell Mr. Ark
31:14
Speaker 2: I'm staying there. And then you have to come with
31:17
Speaker 2: me back to Mr. Ark's and we live there until
31:20
Speaker 2: I get my life together. And honey, you know, he,
31:27
Speaker 2: has a mission at the same time. He's so excited
31:30
Speaker 2: to see Matilda that he says, uh, in route that
31:34
Speaker 2: he will squeal like a school girl when he sees her.
31:37
Speaker 2: And then like to camera, knowing that he's talking to
31:40
Speaker 2: the 90 day fiance audience, he's like, don't fucking judge me.
31:43
Speaker 2: We're just going to hear that. That's going to be fine.
31:44
Speaker 2: That's going to be me. That's me and my baby,
31:46
Speaker 2: my squishy mama. That's me. I'm going to squeal. I'm
31:48
Speaker 2: going to fuck. Oh my goodness gracious. Um, it's interesting
31:56
Speaker 2: because for Andy, Jesse, Niles, Zuri, we started to get
32:00
Speaker 2: this like mega montage of travel. Like we got all
32:04
Speaker 2: of their names, all of their like chyrons together. And
32:08
Speaker 2: then we got like a four by four shot of
32:10
Speaker 2: them traveling. And it was an interesting, like, cause I
32:13
Speaker 2: thought there was going to be like some sort of
32:16
Speaker 2: other bind to this foursome. Like maybe they all would
32:19
Speaker 2: have a similar interaction with a gate agent or something,
32:23
Speaker 2: but no, it's just, the way they decided to edit
32:26
Speaker 2: their travel montage. Goodness. You guys, can you believe all
32:33
Speaker 2: of this? Can you believe what's happening? We are only
32:36
Speaker 2: episode two in. They're like, we're getting everyone there, honey.
32:40
Speaker 2: We're getting them. Episode two, landing on that soil. I
32:44
Speaker 2: feel like they've done a pretty good job of slowly
32:47
Speaker 2: introducing us to personalities, wants, needs. you know, conflicts, family members.
32:57
Speaker 2: We got a lot of like Andy's family and stuff
32:59
Speaker 2: like that. Obviously we don't get to see Niall's family,
33:02
Speaker 2: but we got to see Niall's really great video game friend. Now,
33:06
Speaker 2: what would be like upper echelon choices would be like,
33:13
Speaker 2: if the producers saw how fun Niall's video game friend
33:17
Speaker 2: was and decided that Niall's needs him to come to Ghana,
33:24
Speaker 2: You need to check up on his friend. If I
33:28
Speaker 2: got to see that man, honey, with his peanut butter
33:30
Speaker 2: jelly soda, not understanding that it also tastes yeasty because
33:34
Speaker 2: of the bread, in Ghana, with Niles, I'd be very happy.
33:38
Speaker 2: I'd also be happy to see any of Andy's sisters,
33:43
Speaker 2: you know, with Nigel. I would love to see the
33:47
Speaker 2: sisters interrogate Nigel. I, again, already made it sort of
33:52
Speaker 2: conspiracy theory that that barefoot girl is his playmate? Yeah,
34:03
Speaker 2: and I long, long for Jonathan's ex-wife to be somehow
34:11
Speaker 2: shown or her point of view told or her opinion
34:17
Speaker 2: of him and his choices after their divorce. I just,
34:24
Speaker 2: I assume it's going to happen like at least on
34:26
Speaker 2: social media. Like I'm assuming that someone will like leak
34:32
Speaker 2: a Facebook post of hers being like, can't believe my
34:35
Speaker 2: ex is on TV making a whole ass ass of himself.
34:39
Speaker 2: And I thought it was just for my benefit, you know,
34:42
Speaker 2: or whatever it was, you know, I feel like it's
34:43
Speaker 2: something like that. Um, And yeah, the Jesse Vittoro thing
34:49
Speaker 2: is going to be not probably like my favorite storyline
34:54
Speaker 2: because it definitely feels fake. And the thing that, yeah,
35:02
Speaker 2: it's like we're supposed to think that he's gay. but
35:05
Speaker 2: they haven't had sex, but we're supposed to believe that
35:07
Speaker 2: they're in a relationship, like we're supposed to believe, what
35:09
Speaker 2: is she getting from this? What is he getting from this?
35:12
Speaker 2: Because she's not fashion plate material. She's like cringy. She's
35:16
Speaker 2: not going to help you in your designs. She's obviously
35:19
Speaker 2: been on a reality show already before 90 Day Fiancé,
35:22
Speaker 2: and he feels like he wants to be a character.
35:24
Speaker 2: And so it definitely is just too much. Yeah, too
35:31
Speaker 2: many cons, literally. All right, my babes. Okay. If you want,
35:38
Speaker 2: you can absolutely get more of me. Thank you so
35:40
Speaker 2: much for listening. You can be listening to Vanity Fair,
35:42
Speaker 2: the podcast. And if you haven't, if you have, give
35:44
Speaker 2: five stars wherever you can, honey, Apple, Spotify. You also
35:47
Speaker 2: can follow me on YouTube where I am showing the
35:51
Speaker 2: visuals and all my pictures and my makeupless face with
35:55
Speaker 2: my sky eye and That exists on YouTube, Chris Farah.
36:00
Speaker 2: Follow and subscribe, like the video if you don't mind. Also,
36:04
Speaker 2: you can give me $ 5 a month if you want
36:06
Speaker 2: your own personal Patreon lives, honey, and that's patreon.com slash chrisfarah.
36:11
Speaker 2: All of that exists and more free ways to follow me,
36:14
Speaker 2: like going to Facebook, liking Chris Farah, going and joining
36:18
Speaker 2: the Vanity Farah group on Facebook. You can also follow
36:21
Speaker 2: at Chris Farah, sorry, at Chris L. Farah on TikTok
36:25
Speaker 2: and Instagram. Goodness gracious, great balls of fire. Hand to chest.
36:30
Speaker 2: Let's connect ourselves to our breath, bring ourselves to the
36:33
Speaker 2: present moment, and try and feel our hearts, our cells,
36:37
Speaker 2: our bodies, creating a mind-body connection, feeling the sensory feelings
36:43
Speaker 2: of either touch, like what we're feeling butt to seat
36:48
Speaker 2: or feet to ground, or sound, like the sound of
36:52
Speaker 2: my voice or anything else in the room, or The
36:56
Speaker 2: feeling of your breath going in and out. It's good
37:00
Speaker 2: to have a strong connection to yourself. You are your
37:05
Speaker 2: own anchor and you really only have yourself in this
37:08
Speaker 2: world and you don't want a cult-like figure to come
37:11
Speaker 2: and swoop you away because you don't feel tethered to anything.
37:17
Speaker 2: Even though if you want that, I'm right here and
37:20
Speaker 2: I'll take you in little baby birds. If you're broken...
37:24
Speaker 2: I'm your mommy and I will take care of you forever.
37:28
Speaker 2: Just give me $ 5 a month. Just kidding. This is
37:31
Speaker 2: a joke that I just keep going back to. Okay,
37:32
Speaker 2: hand to heart. I'm really going to breathe. This is
37:34
Speaker 2: why I need it. I'm just like Nigel, ADHD, but
37:37
Speaker 2: this is my meditation. Okay, two breaths. I promise. Here
37:40
Speaker 2: it starts. Blowing it out, blowing it in twice. Honeys,
38:09
Speaker 2: thank you so much for spending time with me. We
38:11
Speaker 2: are undercover passion on the run. Listen to the song.
38:16
Speaker 2: All right, I'll see you later. Take care of yourselves
38:19
Speaker 2: and one another. Stand up for what you believe and
38:20
Speaker 2: make art. Bye.