Latest / Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge / The Eds: Moms Know Best

Transcript

The Eds: Moms Know Best · Two Ts In A Pod with Teddi Mellencamp and Tamra Judge

0:00
Speaker 1: This is the DS with Eddie Judge and Edwin Aroyave
0:05
Speaker 1: the husbands know best too, Cheese production. Can you believe
0:10
Speaker 1: we'rere episode five already?
0:12
Speaker 2: Man? It is flying by.
0:15
Speaker 1: We are back for episode five, and since Mother's Day
0:18
Speaker 1: is right around the corner, we're going to talk about motherhood.
0:22
Speaker 3: Yes, and Happy Mother's Day to all the beautiful moms
0:25
Speaker 3: out there.
0:26
Speaker 1: All the beautiful moms. Hey, real quick before we get going,
0:30
Speaker 1: do you have the same holiday as my? Well, yeah,
0:33
Speaker 1: you're Latin American. In Latin American they celebrated on the
0:38
Speaker 1: tenth and in America they celebrated every Sunday, right maybe yeah, yeah,
0:45
Speaker 1: so it's.
0:46
Speaker 3: The tenth, But I just always usually celebrated on Sunday.
0:50
Speaker 2: You know. Funny story, man.
0:52
Speaker 3: So this three days ago, Teddy's assistant sends me a text, Hey,
0:58
Speaker 3: Mother's Day's coming up, Mark. I don't know when I
1:02
Speaker 3: think of Mother's Day, I still think of my mom. Yeah,
1:05
Speaker 3: like I still think of mom my mom first and
1:08
Speaker 3: then Teddy. Which I'm probably gonna in trouble for saying.
1:10
Speaker 2: That, but yes you will. So I'm like, oh, yeah,
1:14
Speaker 2: can you get give me some stuff from alo My?
1:17
Speaker 2: I'm like, she loves alo and then she sends me
1:20
Speaker 2: like this black sweatsuit, right, and and I'm like, no,
1:24
Speaker 2: she likes colorful. She likes everything very colorful. And anyways,
1:29
Speaker 2: I'm on my call and then I'm like, oh, shoot,
1:31
Speaker 2: she's talking about Teddy. I'm like, hey, by the way,
1:36
Speaker 2: I was talking about my mom, not Teddy. So like seriously,
1:40
Speaker 2: I'm just like, I'm such a mama's boy. You know
1:43
Speaker 2: my dad, you know, before he went in jail, like
1:46
Speaker 2: he said, hey, you got one thing I want you
1:49
Speaker 2: to always remember. He's like, you got one mom. You
1:53
Speaker 2: need to take care of her.
1:54
Speaker 3: And you know, things are you know, one of my
1:56
Speaker 3: mentors ed, my lad always says things are caught, not taught.
2:02
Speaker 3: And I always saw how much my dad would take
2:05
Speaker 3: care of his mom. Yeah, and it's why I've always
2:08
Speaker 3: taken care of my mom because as a kid, I'd
2:10
Speaker 3: always see my dad like my dad would always get
2:12
Speaker 3: in front of, you know, my mom and say, hey,
2:15
Speaker 3: don't mess with my mom, right, And I would see that,
2:18
Speaker 3: and I've sort of become the same way. And then
2:21
Speaker 3: that's why I visit moms every Saturday, my kids. I
2:23
Speaker 3: take my kids with me because I want them to see, Hey,
2:26
Speaker 3: you got one mom, you take care of her first.
2:28
Speaker 3: You know, you know your mom's not going to be
2:31
Speaker 3: around as long as maybe your wife, right, so you
2:33
Speaker 3: want to make sure that you're taking care of mom.
2:34
Speaker 3: So anyways, I have this thing where I'm such a
2:37
Speaker 3: big mama's boy that I'm like, Mother's Day is like
2:41
Speaker 3: my Mom's Day, but you know Teddy.
2:43
Speaker 2: Then I go celebrate with Teddy as well. But yeah,
2:45
Speaker 2: I got to get better at it.
2:47
Speaker 1: Well, I was just going to say, and it's very
2:50
Speaker 1: convenient to have a Latin American Mother's Day and then
2:54
Speaker 1: a regular American Mother's Day because you can celebrate it
2:56
Speaker 1: in two separate days. I mean, I don't I don't
3:00
Speaker 1: know how it goes when you're celebrating your mom and
3:03
Speaker 1: your wife and you know, maybe another generation of moms,
3:07
Speaker 1: you know, all at the same time.
3:09
Speaker 3: Teddy loves them when I celebrate both of them at
3:11
Speaker 3: the same time, and they get matching.
3:13
Speaker 1: Gifts, so there's no jealousy. That's hilarious. Well, let me
3:22
Speaker 1: let me ask you this. When you were looking for
3:24
Speaker 1: a partner, how much did motherhood contribute to your decision?
3:28
Speaker 1: I think you hit on this a little bit, But
3:30
Speaker 1: tell me a little bit more about why Teddy.
3:34
Speaker 3: I mean, I think that was one of the number
3:36
Speaker 3: one reasons that I decided that I wanted to marry her.
3:39
Speaker 3: In fact, now as I look back at pictures, there's
3:44
Speaker 3: a picture of her of Teddy basically raising Bella. My
3:48
Speaker 3: daughter is a Bella like this when she's a year old,
3:51
Speaker 3: and there's like this big smile. I'm looking at Teddy
3:54
Speaker 3: the way she's holding my daughter, and I knew that.
3:57
Speaker 3: I remember that moment like it was yesterday, because I'm like,
4:00
Speaker 3: she's the one I need, because you know, you always
4:04
Speaker 3: want to at least for me, I wanted to marry
4:05
Speaker 3: someone that I knew would be a good mom. More
4:08
Speaker 3: than anything. I wanted that. I wanted to marry someone
4:12
Speaker 3: that was going to be a good mom, and.
4:15
Speaker 1: Teddy's exceeded all those expectations. Can you tell me a
4:19
Speaker 1: little bit about what your mom did to embed that?
4:24
Speaker 1: And You're like, well, obviously we get this from our parents.
4:27
Speaker 1: We are our parents, right, So what did you learn
4:29
Speaker 1: from your mom that that kind of solidified that you
4:33
Speaker 1: want that from a partner.
4:35
Speaker 3: You know, we had humble beginnings, right, so we didn't
4:38
Speaker 3: have much I mentioned on the first episode that we
4:42
Speaker 3: lived in this tiny little bedroom without any windows. Right,
4:44
Speaker 3: it was four of us living in this bedroom, so
4:47
Speaker 3: it wasn't the best living conditions. But I always had love.
4:49
Speaker 3: My mom always showed me a lot of love, and
4:52
Speaker 3: that's the one part I remembered. And she would always like,
4:55
Speaker 3: figure out a way to put me in sports and
4:57
Speaker 3: just get me out of like potential t bubble. And
5:01
Speaker 3: she just worked her butt off for us, and I
5:03
Speaker 3: saw how much she cared, and it.
5:06
Speaker 2: Just really I felt the love.
5:07
Speaker 3: And I'm like, I want to I want to be
5:09
Speaker 3: able to show that, and I want the person I
5:11
Speaker 3: marry to be able to show that to my kids.
5:14
Speaker 2: Is that love?
5:15
Speaker 3: And and Teddy's great with that, And again it's it's
5:18
Speaker 3: one of the reasons why I was like, this is
5:22
Speaker 3: going to be my wife. Yeah, yeah, what about you?
5:24
Speaker 3: What do you think about that? Is was obviously yours
5:27
Speaker 3: you met, uh. I think when you got married, Tamara
5:30
Speaker 3: obviously had kids, right was it three year?
5:33
Speaker 2: How many kids? Four?
5:34
Speaker 1: She had four, Ryan, Spencer, Sophia, and Sydney. And when
5:41
Speaker 1: I first met her, Ryan was already an adult essentially,
5:46
Speaker 1: you know, he wasn't a kid kid and Sophia was
5:50
Speaker 1: the littlest kid, and she was just so uh, neutral
5:55
Speaker 1: and open and loving and and and playful, you know,
5:58
Speaker 1: just like most kids are at that age. And Sydney
6:02
Speaker 1: and Spencer were about the same age. They were, I
6:04
Speaker 1: think in their teenage years, and they were a little
6:07
Speaker 1: bit you know, standoffish because of all the negative stuff
6:10
Speaker 1: that their father would put in their head. Right, I mean,
6:13
Speaker 1: at least the first two years they they didn't want
6:16
Speaker 1: to be around me. You can totally see that as
6:20
Speaker 1: they got older and things changed between you know, what
6:25
Speaker 1: they knew and what they learned, they figured it out
6:29
Speaker 1: and they realized, Okay, maybe Eddie is not such a
6:32
Speaker 1: bad guy, you know. Yeah.
6:34
Speaker 3: You know what I think is is so cool is
6:37
Speaker 3: that you know, sometimes women that you know, maybe get
6:40
Speaker 3: divorced or have kids, they think, oh, no, one's gonna
6:43
Speaker 3: want to marry me because I don't because I have kids.
6:45
Speaker 2: Now, what's going to want that? Right? And I think
6:47
Speaker 2: it was so great that you didn't even care about that, right?
6:50
Speaker 3: Was it was that something that ever crossed your mind, like,
6:53
Speaker 3: I don't know if I want to marry her because
6:54
Speaker 3: she's got kids.
6:55
Speaker 2: Did that ever crossed your mind or was it? Did
6:57
Speaker 2: you just know, like, Okay.
7:01
Speaker 1: That's actually a very good question, because I've thought about
7:04
Speaker 1: that many times, Like, you know, sitting here, how did
7:07
Speaker 1: I end up in a relationship with four kids that
7:10
Speaker 1: are not mine?
7:11
Speaker 2: You know, especially because you didn't have any kids either, right, right?
7:15
Speaker 1: Right? I don't have any kids in my own and
7:16
Speaker 1: that's because I never wanted kids in my own. Tama
7:20
Speaker 1: and I have talked about this before. It was one
7:22
Speaker 1: of those kind of things about, well, I didn't have
7:26
Speaker 1: a really great upbringing, you know, a stable upbringing, if
7:30
Speaker 1: you will. I kind of had to do it all
7:31
Speaker 1: on my own. And I always had this thought like
7:35
Speaker 1: why would I bring a child into this world that
7:38
Speaker 1: is so difficult, so hard, And you know, I had love,
7:42
Speaker 1: I had family, I had affection, but you know, we
7:46
Speaker 1: didn't get to do a whole lot of things, you know,
7:48
Speaker 1: And that was just my mentality growing up. The other part,
7:52
Speaker 1: the other side of it, was understanding. When I finally
7:56
Speaker 1: understood okay, you need money to do things, I thought, well,
8:01
Speaker 1: if I can't support myself, then how the hell am
8:04
Speaker 1: I going to support another being? And it wasn't until
8:08
Speaker 1: I can make enough money and make a good living
8:10
Speaker 1: that I could, you know, afford to have a child.
8:13
Speaker 1: And by then, I think I was in my mid
8:16
Speaker 1: thirties and I was already kind of thinking I really
8:19
Speaker 1: don't want children at this point in my life. You know,
8:22
Speaker 1: it would have been nice and maybe in my mid
8:24
Speaker 1: twenties if I was financially stable and it all made sense.
8:28
Speaker 1: But that's I think those are the two reasons why
8:31
Speaker 1: I never had kids of my own. And interestingly enough,
8:35
Speaker 1: this is the other thought that always comes through my head.
8:39
Speaker 1: I've dated a lot of women in my life that
8:42
Speaker 1: have had children, you know, whether it's one or two kids,
8:45
Speaker 1: and I never never considered it as a problem. Like,
8:50
Speaker 1: you know, I had a relationship with a woman who
8:52
Speaker 1: had two kids, and my experience was that she took
8:58
Speaker 1: care of them. She was there, her responsibility and her
9:02
Speaker 1: mother and when it came to me, I really couldn't
9:07
Speaker 1: step in as a father because their father was still
9:10
Speaker 1: alive and still in the picture. But she made damn
9:13
Speaker 1: sure that those kids respected me, and they respected everybody
9:18
Speaker 1: at any adult in their life. Right. So that's kind
9:21
Speaker 1: of the only experience I had where Okay, so this
9:24
Speaker 1: is how it can work, you know. But I was
9:28
Speaker 1: still scared. I was scared that you know, I'm not
9:30
Speaker 1: going to be able to afford to raise the child, right,
9:34
Speaker 1: It's expensive.
9:35
Speaker 3: Seriously, I love that answer so much because there's probably
9:40
Speaker 3: a lot of women out there that are in relationships
9:42
Speaker 3: right now that they know they wi want to leave,
9:44
Speaker 3: but they're like, they're afraid they'll never be able to
9:46
Speaker 3: find someone better. And you know, you're you're a great
9:49
Speaker 3: testament that there are some great guys out there if
9:53
Speaker 3: you're not in a good place, right, because I know
9:56
Speaker 3: there's a lot of women that are fearful of that,
9:58
Speaker 3: like if I leave, I have three kids, kids, and no,
10:01
Speaker 3: they're not I'm not going to be able to find anyone.
10:03
Speaker 3: And there's always someone, right, especially if you're not in
10:07
Speaker 3: a good relationship. And you know, I know many women
10:10
Speaker 3: that stay unfortunately abusive relationships just because they're scared to
10:14
Speaker 3: be alone, right, Because again, they're a great example of that.
10:19
Speaker 3: So yeah, man, yeah.
10:23
Speaker 1: Well that was a deep them.
10:26
Speaker 3: By the way, one of the things that you said
10:29
Speaker 3: actually makes a lot of sense to me as far
10:31
Speaker 3: as like you know, looking at your children as like
10:35
Speaker 3: it costs a lot of money to have children, and
10:38
Speaker 3: at least for me, I mean, if it was up
10:40
Speaker 3: to me, I'd have more kids. But sometimes if you
10:43
Speaker 3: have a ton of them, you're kind of taking away
10:45
Speaker 3: from the other ones because if you don't have enough
10:47
Speaker 3: to support all of them, and you're sort of taking
10:50
Speaker 3: some options and opportunities from your other kids.
10:54
Speaker 2: If you just decide to have.
10:56
Speaker 3: You know, eight kids, all of a sudden, you have
10:57
Speaker 3: eight kids. You can't send all of them to private school,
11:01
Speaker 3: right or you better be making more money if you're
11:03
Speaker 3: gonna have eight kids. Yeah, you know, you just there's
11:06
Speaker 3: certain things that get taken away if you have too many.
11:09
Speaker 3: So I've always been to that thinking as well as like,
11:13
Speaker 3: can I afford to have another kid so I could
11:17
Speaker 3: give them the things that I want.
11:18
Speaker 2: To be able to provide for them, you know.
11:21
Speaker 3: So again, some people don't think about that. I'm not
11:24
Speaker 3: saying it's right or wrong. I'm just saying I thought
11:26
Speaker 3: about it that way, where Okay, four I can handle.
11:30
Speaker 3: I don't know if I could finance, well, I might
11:32
Speaker 3: be able to handle another one. But that's another story
11:34
Speaker 3: for Teddy.
11:37
Speaker 1: Well. The interesting thing is that my grandmother, who was
11:40
Speaker 1: the one that brought me to the United States, she
11:44
Speaker 1: had eight kids, so I have like four or five
11:48
Speaker 1: uncles and my aunt and my mom, and they didn't
11:53
Speaker 1: grow up with money. You know, they didn't have money.
11:56
Speaker 1: But how she and she pretty much raised them on
11:59
Speaker 1: her own. So how the hell did she do it?
12:03
Speaker 2: You know?
12:04
Speaker 1: And and and you know it was love, right raise them? Love? Yeah,
12:09
Speaker 1: Love and affection I think is the most valuable commodity
12:12
Speaker 1: out there. If you don't And honestly, you can grow
12:15
Speaker 1: up with all the money in the world, but if
12:16
Speaker 1: you don't have love, it's empty. It's an empty life.
12:29
Speaker 1: I have a question for you. I just found out
12:31
Speaker 1: that Slate and Cruise were conceived via I v F
12:35
Speaker 1: and Dove was natural.
12:39
Speaker 2: One.
12:41
Speaker 1: What was that like going through I v F.
12:44
Speaker 3: Yeah, So Teddy had a hard time with getting pregnant,
12:47
Speaker 3: and when we first had Slate, in my head, I
12:51
Speaker 3: always thought like, you're gonna have nothing but girls like
12:56
Speaker 3: that was literally my thought, right, So when we we're
13:00
Speaker 3: gonna do IBF again, I'm.
13:02
Speaker 2: Like, man, I gotta have a boy. Like what if
13:04
Speaker 2: I end up not having a boy?
13:06
Speaker 1: Like?
13:06
Speaker 2: I want my boy.
13:07
Speaker 3: So I actually asked Teddy, well, if we're gonna go
13:09
Speaker 3: kind of the first level, why don't we take it
13:11
Speaker 3: all the way and let's ensure that I have a boy.
13:16
Speaker 1: But you can do this in IBF.
13:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, you can do that in IBF. It's like a
13:19
Speaker 3: second you know. I'm sure Teddy can explain it better,
13:22
Speaker 3: but yeah, it's like a second level of or third
13:25
Speaker 3: level where you can pick the sex of the baby.
13:29
Speaker 1: So it sounds like like you can design your own baby.
13:33
Speaker 3: Well, that's why I had a problem with it because
13:36
Speaker 3: for vanity reasons, I kind of wanted my boy. I
13:39
Speaker 3: just wanted a boy that you know, everybody wants their boy. Yeah,
13:42
Speaker 3: And the way they do it is obviously they get
13:44
Speaker 3: the eggs, they get the sperm, they mix it and
13:46
Speaker 3: then it'll tell you you got x many girls, you
13:49
Speaker 3: got x many.
13:50
Speaker 2: Boys, right, wow.
13:51
Speaker 3: Well we did it three different times and it kept failing.
13:56
Speaker 3: But each time we did it, I'm not exaggerating, it
13:59
Speaker 3: was ninety five percent female and like one boy, so
14:05
Speaker 3: we of course put the one boy in. The first
14:08
Speaker 3: one she had a miscarriage. Then we did a second
14:10
Speaker 3: round and same thing, ninety five percent.
14:13
Speaker 2: Girls, one boy.
14:14
Speaker 3: We put the boy in didn't make it. So finally
14:18
Speaker 3: on the last one we did it again, and this
14:21
Speaker 3: time I told Teddy Hey, it doesn't work. It's not
14:23
Speaker 3: meant to be. Maybe it's not meant for me to
14:25
Speaker 3: have boys, right, And we did it again and it worked.
14:30
Speaker 3: And then but the whole time I.
14:32
Speaker 2: Was struggling with it because I'm like, am I trying
14:34
Speaker 2: to play god here? Like I didn't feel right about it,
14:41
Speaker 2: and because every time it was a miscarriage.
14:43
Speaker 3: Well, all of a sudden, six months passed by. Everything's
14:45
Speaker 3: great anyway. The day of the birth, I'm in my
14:49
Speaker 3: head about it and I'm like, I hope nothing goes
14:51
Speaker 3: wrong today because I did this because I was struggling
14:54
Speaker 3: with it. It wasn't an easy decision for me. Yeah,
14:56
Speaker 3: and then sure enough Cruz comes out and he's not breathing.
15:00
Speaker 3: And then all of a sudden, I don't know, fifteen
15:03
Speaker 3: doctors come in. They pushed me to the side. You know,
15:05
Speaker 3: my mom's in there, my sister's in there there crying.
15:08
Speaker 3: I can't see. I'm trying to look over to see
15:10
Speaker 3: what's up with Cruise, and it's just silence. And then Teddy.
15:15
Speaker 3: I just hear Teddy screaming, like, what's wrong with the baby.
15:17
Speaker 3: What's wrong with the baby? You don't hear a cry,
15:20
Speaker 3: it's silent for I want to say at least a minute.
15:24
Speaker 3: It felt like fifteen, and all of a sudden he
15:28
Speaker 3: cries and everything's fine, but then they take them immediately
15:32
Speaker 3: out and he spent the entire night in the nick
15:36
Speaker 3: you and I think he was there for a couple
15:38
Speaker 3: of days, and it was just scary. And while that
15:43
Speaker 3: was going on, I was like praying to God. I
15:46
Speaker 3: was like, God, I'll never do that again. Please, just
15:48
Speaker 3: you know, save them. I promise you I'll never do
15:51
Speaker 3: it again. And that was it and I'll never do
15:53
Speaker 3: it again. And then with Dove, we you know, it
15:57
Speaker 3: came natural. We're like, we weren't expecting it were.
16:00
Speaker 2: Like, what you could have a baby. And then there
16:03
Speaker 2: was this.
16:05
Speaker 3: Slight hope that she would be a boy because I
16:08
Speaker 3: wanted two boys and two girls, like that would be perfect.
16:12
Speaker 3: And I was like, it's going to be a boy.
16:14
Speaker 3: I know it's going to be a boy.
16:16
Speaker 2: Sure enough.
16:17
Speaker 3: Another female. So I'm a female maker, Yes you are.
16:22
Speaker 2: I would have had.
16:23
Speaker 3: I'm if we would have done if we wouldn't have
16:25
Speaker 3: done IBF, I would have had nothing but girls.
16:28
Speaker 1: Wow.
16:29
Speaker 2: Yeah.
16:30
Speaker 1: And I just have had friends that have had that
16:32
Speaker 1: scenario where there's like fifteen girls in the house and
16:36
Speaker 1: they're just going crazy.
16:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then there's some males that just have nothing,
16:40
Speaker 3: but I mean some some guys that just have nothing
16:43
Speaker 3: but boys. Yeah, that's funny because I hear the guys
16:47
Speaker 3: the one that actually determines what sex comes out this
16:51
Speaker 3: from when I yeah.
16:53
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I've heard rumors that it depends on,
16:55
Speaker 1: you know, how you do it, if it's you know, missionary,
16:58
Speaker 1: or if it's you know, other animals.
17:01
Speaker 2: I did all kinds of positions didn't work for me.
17:03
Speaker 2: It was off. So tell me we saw what a
17:08
Speaker 2: robot baby? She's a nine on the show? What was
17:12
Speaker 2: that about or whose idea was that?
17:15
Speaker 1: Well, you know, it was the same subject about do
17:18
Speaker 1: I want kids? I can't tell you. If I had
17:20
Speaker 1: a dollar for every time somebody asked me that question,
17:22
Speaker 1: I think I'd make a lot of money. But it
17:25
Speaker 1: was a scene or an episode. I should say that
17:29
Speaker 1: with film where she asked me, do you you sure
17:32
Speaker 1: you don't want kids? And I said, no, I don't
17:34
Speaker 1: want kids, and they somehow produced a robot child that
17:40
Speaker 1: you literally had to carry like a baby and if
17:43
Speaker 1: it starts crying, you put your finger in its mouth,
17:46
Speaker 1: or you put the bottle in its mouth like a
17:48
Speaker 1: real baby, and every single and it's kind of random,
17:51
Speaker 1: how it's computerized and it cries randomly, and it was
17:57
Speaker 1: probably as real as it could get to having a baby.
18:00
Speaker 1: And here's the thing about me and kids. There's there's
18:04
Speaker 1: one thing that I do know about me and babies.
18:07
Speaker 1: They seem so fragile to me that I was always
18:09
Speaker 1: afraid of picking up babies. You know, I was that
18:12
Speaker 1: guy like I don't want to pick it up. I'm
18:14
Speaker 1: gonna heard it, I'm gonna squeeze it. You know, it's
18:16
Speaker 1: so fragile. So I was afraid of babies. But when
18:19
Speaker 1: it's a robot baby, I was a little bit more relaxed.
18:22
Speaker 1: They're like, okay, I could do with And we ended
18:25
Speaker 1: up taking turns, and you know, she took care of
18:28
Speaker 1: him when he cried. I took care of when he cried.
18:30
Speaker 1: I think we named them astro like, oh, I love that.
18:35
Speaker 1: I think it came from the Jetsons.
18:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, I remember that.
18:40
Speaker 1: But I knew we weren't meant to have kids because
18:45
Speaker 1: I think by day three or four, the baby wouldn't
18:48
Speaker 1: stop crying. And Tamra took it downstairs, came back to sleep,
18:53
Speaker 1: and the next morning I found the baby in the
18:55
Speaker 1: couch behind the pillows, not breathing. So I said, yeah,
19:00
Speaker 1: we're not gonna have kids. Yeah, it was funny, it
19:06
Speaker 1: was a good time. It was interesting to experience that though.
19:11
Speaker 1: You know, one thing that I do, I think you've
19:17
Speaker 1: shared it with me too. But every guy I know,
19:19
Speaker 1: every friend that I know that has ever shared their
19:22
Speaker 1: experience about having a kid, and that whole birth experience,
19:27
Speaker 1: it's like the most magical experience you ever experienced in life,
19:32
Speaker 1: right like, this is this is you, this is part
19:34
Speaker 1: of you coming to the world. That's probably something I
19:38
Speaker 1: will never experience in my life. And that's probably the
19:40
Speaker 1: only thing that I regret not having in life, you know,
19:44
Speaker 1: But there's so many other things in life that I
19:47
Speaker 1: experience that you know, I am very fortunate to be
19:50
Speaker 1: in love and in a relationship where I just I
19:53
Speaker 1: adore my wife and I know I can't imagine life
19:56
Speaker 1: without her, you know. It's I adore the kid. I
20:01
Speaker 1: just this is this is a good life. You know.
20:03
Speaker 1: I'm not deprived in any way, you know, But that's
20:07
Speaker 1: that's the only thing that every friend of mine, male
20:10
Speaker 1: even just male friend of mine just told me like,
20:13
Speaker 1: this is the most magical experience you'll ever have in
20:15
Speaker 1: your life.
20:17
Speaker 3: So, speaking of magical experiences, I decided because it's such
20:21
Speaker 3: a magical experience. When Teddy was having the baby, I
20:24
Speaker 3: filmed the whole thing.
20:26
Speaker 2: Really. I was so excited, like literally filmed the baby's
20:30
Speaker 2: head coming out. And I was so excited that I
20:35
Speaker 2: sent the video to John, her dad, her sister Mice,
20:40
Speaker 2: and he was so upset, Why did you show my
20:43
Speaker 2: vagina to everyone? But I was just so excited. I
20:47
Speaker 2: was like, oh shit, I got this on video, Like
20:49
Speaker 2: dad's gonna want her dad's gonna want to see this
20:52
Speaker 2: magical moment. So, like a dumbass, I sent a video
20:55
Speaker 2: to her dad or sister, and you know, so they
20:57
Speaker 2: still make fun of me because I sent you know, Dad,
21:00
Speaker 2: he's jj going baby coming out, So yeah, who knows,
21:05
Speaker 2: Maybe I'll send you the video you can watch the
21:07
Speaker 2: magical moment. What advice You've obviously been a great step dad,
21:20
Speaker 2: what advice would you give to someone that is maybe
21:25
Speaker 2: just got married to someone that has you know, kids,
21:29
Speaker 2: and you know what, what's I guess the best advice
21:31
Speaker 2: you you would give for somebody stepping into that step
21:35
Speaker 2: dad role.
21:36
Speaker 1: I would say, I mean, it depends on a lot
21:44
Speaker 1: of variables. Because if you have a dad who's just
21:47
Speaker 1: a but he's still a dad and and is willing
21:52
Speaker 1: to be a part of the children's life, you can't
21:55
Speaker 1: you can't take that role, you know, those that's the
21:58
Speaker 1: father's role. So your role is just to be there
22:01
Speaker 1: and be a positive role model for the children and
22:05
Speaker 1: if they need anything, you help, you let them come
22:08
Speaker 1: to you. Essentially. That's that's just my experience, right. There's
22:12
Speaker 1: there's been other you know, friends that are been in
22:15
Speaker 1: my shoes that say, you know, opposite, they want to
22:17
Speaker 1: take an active role, they want to be there and
22:20
Speaker 1: and sort of prevent the kids from going, you know,
22:22
Speaker 1: rogue because their father is such a right in other
22:27
Speaker 1: circumstances which I've never experienced, where the father is not
22:30
Speaker 1: in the picture or he's a deadbeat dad, that's that's
22:33
Speaker 1: where I would step in and say, okay, kids, whatever
22:36
Speaker 1: you need, anytime you need them, and and and you know,
22:40
Speaker 1: follow through as a real like step father where you're
22:44
Speaker 1: in there being the father role.
22:45
Speaker 2: Right.
22:47
Speaker 1: But I just felt that always if the dad is
22:50
Speaker 1: willing to do or be a part, no matter what
22:53
Speaker 1: much of it is. If he's willing to be part
22:55
Speaker 1: of the children's life, you can't take that role. You
22:59
Speaker 1: can't be a step dad, right, You can't really have
23:02
Speaker 1: two dads. The father's role is equally as important as
23:07
Speaker 1: the mother's role, and you can't. You can't blur that
23:11
Speaker 1: by saying, well, I'm your dad too, right, right, Yeah,
23:15
Speaker 1: it'll be mixed signals to the kids.
23:18
Speaker 2: So were you.
23:20
Speaker 3: More of had to be a dad or were you
23:22
Speaker 3: able to maybe not be as much as involved with
23:26
Speaker 3: like dad decisions because dad has been around.
23:29
Speaker 1: No, I wasn't as involved with dad decisions because dad
23:32
Speaker 1: was around, and that was typically something that that was
23:36
Speaker 1: a triage between Tamra and her ex and the kids.
23:40
Speaker 1: You know, that was their role. So when it came
23:44
Speaker 1: to you know, particularly disciplinary actions, and I understand why
23:49
Speaker 1: she made this decisions she's made before, but at the
23:53
Speaker 1: time I was like, how come you're not being disciplinary?
23:55
Speaker 1: How come you're not you know, disciplining in the kids
23:58
Speaker 1: or giving them the structure. Understand it now in hindsight,
24:01
Speaker 1: but at the time it was like, well, you know,
24:04
Speaker 1: I don't want to get into this with her. Because
24:06
Speaker 1: it's her children and it's his children, and unless she
24:09
Speaker 1: wants me to give my advice, I really can't step
24:13
Speaker 1: in there and say you should do this, because that
24:16
Speaker 1: would just cause a fight with us, you know what
24:17
Speaker 1: I mean. They're not my kids, they're there kids, and
24:21
Speaker 1: they still hold that mutual responsibility of making sure the
24:26
Speaker 1: kids are healthy and happy. So yeah, my role was
24:31
Speaker 1: really just to be a a arm to lean on,
24:36
Speaker 1: someone you know, to talk to. But unfortunately for the children,
24:42
Speaker 1: their father brainwashed them so much that they were afraid
24:45
Speaker 1: to open up to me or ask me for anything.
24:48
Speaker 1: And it's not until now like most of the most
24:52
Speaker 1: of the kids except for Sophia, and she's getting to
24:55
Speaker 1: that point where they're starting to feel like comfortable about
25:00
Speaker 1: themselves and comfortable and having conversations with me and asking
25:04
Speaker 1: me for stuff. But for a very long time, it
25:06
Speaker 1: was very much like no, my dad said, you're a
25:09
Speaker 1: bad person, and my dad said, you know, not to
25:12
Speaker 1: like you. My dad said, it was ingrained in their heads.
25:15
Speaker 1: So I understand, you know, if I totally understand what
25:19
Speaker 1: they went.
25:19
Speaker 3: Through, well, shout out to step dads that are good guys.
25:24
Speaker 3: I've been blessed to have you know, my daughter's got
25:26
Speaker 3: a stepdad and he's been completely awesome. I couldn't have
25:29
Speaker 3: asked for a better step dad on my end, and
25:32
Speaker 3: I know you've been great as well.
25:34
Speaker 1: So yeah, and that's actually great. I wish it was
25:39
Speaker 1: like that. I wish we could have conversations about the
25:41
Speaker 1: kids like that, because it really is for the benefit
25:43
Speaker 1: of the kids. You know, just because your relationship doesn't
25:46
Speaker 1: work with that person doesn't mean your kids have to suffer.
25:50
Speaker 1: So I wish it was like that.
25:52
Speaker 2: So I have a.
25:53
Speaker 1: Question for you. Tamer was telling me that Teddy has
25:57
Speaker 1: been very open about her postpartum struggles. How did you
26:01
Speaker 1: show support did that? How do you how do you
26:03
Speaker 1: help somebody going through postpartum because I heard that's like
26:07
Speaker 1: a severe case of depression.
26:10
Speaker 3: Yeah, I man, I'm I didn't even know it was
26:14
Speaker 3: going on. I mean I was so into I mean,
26:18
Speaker 3: I was working so much that I had no idea
26:20
Speaker 3: she was even going through that. I want to say
26:24
Speaker 3: that I found out because I think I saw what
26:31
Speaker 3: she was researching, and I was like, she depressed, Why
26:36
Speaker 3: is she researching this stuff? And then then that's when
26:40
Speaker 3: I asked her, and then that's when she told me,
26:42
Speaker 3: but I had no idea.
26:44
Speaker 2: Well, I just caught.
26:45
Speaker 1: It, did you you didn't notice any signs?
26:48
Speaker 2: Like she No, I mean she was.
26:51
Speaker 3: She was pretty good with like when I got home, like,
26:53
Speaker 3: I honestly didn't see her. Maybe I was so into
26:57
Speaker 3: my work that I didn't even notice. I mean, it
26:59
Speaker 3: was probably more about me not noticing and just you
27:03
Speaker 3: know that that's probably my fault on that I probably
27:06
Speaker 3: should have seen it. But yeah, no, I That's how
27:09
Speaker 3: I found out.
27:10
Speaker 1: Is when you found out, how did you handle it
27:14
Speaker 1: or did you guys get professional help or did you
27:16
Speaker 1: guys just read and research and figure it out?
27:20
Speaker 2: Well, so I asked her, Hey, is are you depressed?
27:23
Speaker 2: Are you going through? Because you know, I I just
27:26
Speaker 2: never I don't know much about that kind of stuff.
27:31
Speaker 2: You know. I've always been one that's just kind of like, no,
27:33
Speaker 2: you just that stuff doesn't exist, right, Yeah, you know.
27:37
Speaker 3: Now obviously I know, But at the time, I had
27:40
Speaker 3: no idea. I was just like you, just what do
27:42
Speaker 3: you mean you just figure stuff out?
27:44
Speaker 2: Like yeah, like, what do you mean, I don't I
27:47
Speaker 2: don't get that stuff.
27:49
Speaker 3: And no, yeah, then she you know, she started working
27:52
Speaker 3: on herself and and but.
27:55
Speaker 2: I don't think she I don't think she got therapy.
27:58
Speaker 2: If I'm trying to remember, I don't think she got therapy,
28:02
Speaker 2: but or maybe she'd. Yeah, there's those years were.
28:09
Speaker 3: I want to say that was probably twenty fourteen. Yeah,
28:11
Speaker 3: those were those were some of these tough years that
28:14
Speaker 3: her and I had. So I was kind of I
28:17
Speaker 3: was in laala land myself when that was going on.
28:20
Speaker 1: It Do you think that's kind of a normal thing
28:22
Speaker 1: when you get married, you build a life together, and
28:28
Speaker 1: you have kids, and then it's another struggle, and then
28:32
Speaker 1: the kids finally grow up and leave the house, and
28:35
Speaker 1: then you're just empty nesters and now it's a struggle
28:38
Speaker 1: and you know, all those severe life changes.
28:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think it's just it's like different cycles I
28:44
Speaker 3: guess that you're going through. But we were, you know,
28:47
Speaker 3: I was working all the time, and then she was
28:48
Speaker 3: staying with the kids.
28:50
Speaker 2: You know, she was staying at home.
28:51
Speaker 3: And she was kind of like I'd come home and
28:54
Speaker 3: she'd have her friends there and they'd be you know,
28:58
Speaker 3: you know, hanging out.
29:00
Speaker 2: And you know there's a.
29:01
Speaker 3: Part too that I was, you know, not upset, but
29:05
Speaker 3: I'm like, man, I'm working all day and every time
29:07
Speaker 3: I come home.
29:07
Speaker 2: It's just like the girls are all hanging out, you know,
29:10
Speaker 2: like and yeah, and there was like no food and
29:15
Speaker 2: I was like, what have you been doing all day?
29:18
Speaker 1: Right?
29:18
Speaker 2: Yeah?
29:19
Speaker 3: So there was a part of now that that was
29:21
Speaker 3: just me being selfish at the time, Like I wasn't
29:24
Speaker 3: you know, I was just not in a good place myself.
29:27
Speaker 3: I was, you know, I there was a part of
29:30
Speaker 3: me that was just like, Oh, you've been here all day,
29:34
Speaker 3: what's going on?
29:35
Speaker 2: You know, I've been working all day? And it was
29:38
Speaker 2: just this it was a me problem at the time.
29:43
Speaker 1: Yeah, well I could totally see how that could happen. Yeah,
29:46
Speaker 1: when you're when when as an entrepreneur, when you've set
29:48
Speaker 1: your mind to accomplish something, everything else kind of fades away.
29:52
Speaker 1: It becomes a shadow until you come out of it
29:55
Speaker 1: and you're like, where am I? Oh I have a family?
29:58
Speaker 1: Yeah exactly, Oh, okay, I have kids. Did you see
30:05
Speaker 1: Teddy become a different person when she became a mom,
30:09
Speaker 1: like or when she had her own children?
30:11
Speaker 2: Did she She's always been?
30:13
Speaker 3: I mean she you know, that's the beautiful thing about
30:15
Speaker 3: Teddy's that I didn't see really much difference from when
30:20
Speaker 3: Bella came out to the way Slate came out.
30:24
Speaker 2: She treated them both the same. That's awesome, and I
30:28
Speaker 2: mean that's.
30:29
Speaker 3: Again I was I saw how much she loved Bella,
30:32
Speaker 3: and then again when Slate came out, at least I
30:36
Speaker 3: couldn't see the difference, right, And even to this day,
30:38
Speaker 3: it's you know, she treats Bella like like if like
30:42
Speaker 3: if she's her own, you know, which is.
30:45
Speaker 2: Again just a lot of love. So yeah, she's always
30:47
Speaker 2: been great.
30:50
Speaker 1: I think that's amazing. And one of the most important
30:53
Speaker 1: parts about you know, having a family, you know, is
30:57
Speaker 1: being able to treat a child that's yours, it's that's
31:00
Speaker 1: not yours, like that's yours.
31:02
Speaker 2: You know, when you when you uh, now, let me
31:05
Speaker 2: ask you this.
31:05
Speaker 3: When you were you know, obviously step Dad did you
31:10
Speaker 3: was there a part of you that wanted to be
31:11
Speaker 3: a little bit of a role model with them, and
31:14
Speaker 3: you know, just showing them kind of again, things aren't taught.
31:19
Speaker 3: They're caught showing them what a you know, what a
31:22
Speaker 3: good person kind of lives by.
31:24
Speaker 1: And oh yeah, one hundred percent. I wanted to influence
31:28
Speaker 1: them as much as I could, you know, because I
31:31
Speaker 1: felt like I've made it through life, I've struggled, and
31:36
Speaker 1: you know, and and and I can teach them a
31:39
Speaker 1: little bit about that. And the irony is is that
31:43
Speaker 1: our kids grew up pretty privileged. You know, we live
31:46
Speaker 1: in Orange County in a very beautiful area. You know,
31:49
Speaker 1: we have a pretty good living, and they've never ever
31:54
Speaker 1: relative to me and relative to even kids that you know,
31:58
Speaker 1: let's say kids, this is out of context, but kids
32:01
Speaker 1: in Africa, you know who, you know, born in the jungle.
32:05
Speaker 1: My struggle was was not like that. But I struggled.
32:09
Speaker 1: And when these kids come to me and or they
32:12
Speaker 1: tell their mom, you know, life is so hard, like
32:15
Speaker 1: I don't get it, you know, Can I can I
32:17
Speaker 1: talk to you about this?
32:18
Speaker 2: You know?
32:18
Speaker 1: Can I teach you? You know what? Can I take
32:22
Speaker 1: you down town and show you how people really are
32:24
Speaker 1: struggling so you can understand what real struggle is. And
32:28
Speaker 1: I never got the opportunity to do that. You know,
32:31
Speaker 1: I really think that's a valuable lesson. When you take
32:33
Speaker 1: somebody outside their bubble and take them to a community
32:37
Speaker 1: where there are people that are really struggling. I think
32:39
Speaker 1: it'll open up people's eyes, especially kids, especially when they're
32:43
Speaker 1: little and they're impressionable, and they realize, you know what,
32:47
Speaker 1: I have it freaking pretty damn good, right, because all
32:51
Speaker 1: they have to compare themselves with is other kids in
32:54
Speaker 1: the neighborhood who obviously might have ten times more than
32:58
Speaker 1: we have. You know, while our kids are getting brand
33:01
Speaker 1: new Mas, does you know their friends might be getting
33:04
Speaker 1: brand new Lamborghinis, right, right?
33:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, It's so important for them to see what it
33:10
Speaker 3: looks on the other side, right, because you don't know
33:12
Speaker 3: what you don't know, right. And I also think in
33:15
Speaker 3: the same way, it's important if you don't grow up
33:18
Speaker 3: with much to at least go touch the dream once
33:22
Speaker 3: in a while, you know, take your kids to some
33:25
Speaker 3: nice areas so that they can see, whoa, there's a
33:29
Speaker 3: whole different lifestyle here.
33:30
Speaker 2: Maybe I want a piece of this, right Yeah, But
33:32
Speaker 2: if you never exposed them to it, why would they
33:35
Speaker 2: want it? Exactly?
33:36
Speaker 3: If they don't know any different, right, right, It's almost
33:39
Speaker 3: like so it goes both ways, yeah right, So you
33:42
Speaker 3: know for me, I know that was such a big
33:45
Speaker 3: part of me, is that I was exposed to even
33:48
Speaker 3: though we didn't grow up with money, I was exposed
33:51
Speaker 3: to like nice areas, and being exposed to those nice
33:55
Speaker 3: areas made me realize like, wait a minute, this is where.
33:57
Speaker 2: I want to live. Yeah, I don't want to live there,
34:00
Speaker 2: you know, And I think back, if I wouldn't have
34:02
Speaker 2: been exposed to it, you don't know what you don't know, right,
34:05
Speaker 2: You can't improve on something you're not aware of. So
34:08
Speaker 2: I think it goes both ways on that for sure.
34:12
Speaker 3: Yeah, But what do you think as far as like
34:16
Speaker 3: what about like I'm big on this is like not
34:20
Speaker 3: getting smashed in front of the kids.
34:22
Speaker 2: What I mean like I don't drunk drink.
34:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I yeah, very particular about I can drink.
34:28
Speaker 3: They could see me drink, but you'll never see me.
34:30
Speaker 2: Smashed in front of my kids.
34:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, I'm very particular with that because again,
34:36
Speaker 3: things are caught not topped right right, they start seeing
34:40
Speaker 3: you get smashed all of a sudden, they're like, oh,
34:42
Speaker 3: it's okay to get smashed, right.
34:44
Speaker 2: Yeah.
34:44
Speaker 3: So were you did you take that into consideration in
34:48
Speaker 3: front of the.
34:49
Speaker 1: Kids or yes? Yes, between that which was not a
34:53
Speaker 1: problem because you know, I wasn't a big drinker. I
34:56
Speaker 1: think I've been drunk the two or three times here
34:59
Speaker 1: in this house I live in, and two of them
35:01
Speaker 1: were when I was single. You know, and usually when
35:06
Speaker 1: we have parties, the kids are at their friend's house, right,
35:08
Speaker 1: so we had we had we had a few rules.
35:13
Speaker 1: One of the biggest rules is we don't fight in
35:15
Speaker 1: front of the kids. You know, we don't curse at
35:17
Speaker 1: each other and put each other down in front of
35:19
Speaker 1: the kids. I think that one thing I don't remember
35:23
Speaker 1: how I learned, but one thing I learned is that
35:25
Speaker 1: kids will emulate you more than repeat what you say
35:31
Speaker 1: than what they learned elsewhere. Right, they can read it
35:34
Speaker 1: in a book how to be, but if they grow
35:36
Speaker 1: up in an abusive household, they're going to be abusive too,
35:39
Speaker 1: regardless of you know, what they've read or what they've
35:41
Speaker 1: learned in school. So it was important to me to
35:45
Speaker 1: understanding that, to know that the kids are very impressionable,
35:48
Speaker 1: and I believe from what I understand, it's the first
35:52
Speaker 1: six to eight years of their life where they're the
35:54
Speaker 1: most absorbent of everything, you know, and once they absorb it,
36:00
Speaker 1: it's not going anywhere. No amount of therapy is gonna
36:03
Speaker 1: take it away.
36:04
Speaker 2: That's so true.
36:05
Speaker 3: And by the way, no one, no matter, no one's perfect.
36:08
Speaker 3: So the idea is it happens less and less and
36:11
Speaker 3: less but like once in a while, I'll still blur
36:14
Speaker 3: like a bad word and I don't realize that the kids.
36:17
Speaker 3: So this last Sunday, I'm taking uh.
36:21
Speaker 2: Uh, we're going to church.
36:22
Speaker 3: It's dub and I and cruise and someone cuts me
36:25
Speaker 3: off and I'm like and then all of a sudden,
36:28
Speaker 3: in the back.
36:29
Speaker 2: Seat, she didn't skip a beat. She's like, I'm like,
36:33
Speaker 2: oh no, no, starts laughing. I start laughing. I'm just sorry, kids,
36:39
Speaker 2: I did not mean to say that.
36:41
Speaker 1: Sorry, sorry, sorry funny.
36:45
Speaker 2: And right away she says it. She's like a freaking parrot.
36:47
Speaker 2: She repeats anything funny.
36:49
Speaker 1: The best ones there when they go to school and
36:51
Speaker 1: say it, and the teacher is like, what are you
36:53
Speaker 1: teaching your kids?
36:54
Speaker 2: Exactly?
36:57
Speaker 1: Kids are funny, so funny. I think that's all I
37:03
Speaker 1: got for you.
37:05
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I think you know what. I have a
37:07
Speaker 2: couple ones for you. Still, so no, So.
37:10
Speaker 3: Was there ever any part of you that wanted biological children?
37:18
Speaker 1: The only time, like I said earlier, is when my
37:21
Speaker 1: friends would share that, Like you could really see that
37:25
Speaker 1: magic in their eyes when they're telling me the story
37:27
Speaker 1: about what it's like having your own kid right and
37:31
Speaker 1: watching the birth. That's it. That's the only time I've
37:34
Speaker 1: ever thought, you know, maybe it would be nice to
37:36
Speaker 1: have my own kid another time. And this was recently.
37:41
Speaker 1: Now that I'm in my fifties, I'm thinking, well, you know,
37:45
Speaker 1: I'm starting I have a lot of friends that are older.
37:48
Speaker 1: Some of the guys that I ride dirt bikes with
37:50
Speaker 1: are in their mid sixties to late sixties, and they're badasses,
37:54
Speaker 1: but their parents are older and they're starting to, you know,
37:57
Speaker 1: either live in a home or die of cancer or
38:00
Speaker 1: you know, shit like that is happening. So it led
38:05
Speaker 1: me to believe, like, what's going to happen to me,
38:08
Speaker 1: you know, when I get to that point. And that's
38:10
Speaker 1: thinking way way down the line. Because my grandmother is
38:14
Speaker 1: going to be ninety nine years old this year. So
38:16
Speaker 1: I know, my jeans are good and I take care
38:19
Speaker 1: of myself, so I might live to one hundred and four.
38:24
Speaker 1: But these are the thoughts that I've been having and
38:27
Speaker 1: conversations I've been having with my wife, Like even with
38:29
Speaker 1: my buddy yesterday, sitting at lunch after a ride, we
38:32
Speaker 1: looked across the table and there's probably an eighty five
38:35
Speaker 1: year old couple. Like both of them are in their eighties.
38:38
Speaker 1: And they're still eating dinner together and they're still enjoying
38:41
Speaker 1: each other's time, and it just makes me reflect like,
38:45
Speaker 1: is that are we going to still? I hope we're
38:47
Speaker 1: still going to be doing that, you know, in our eighties.
38:50
Speaker 1: And how long are we going to be doing that
38:52
Speaker 1: before we get to the point where we're either getting
38:56
Speaker 1: help to go to the bathroom or getting help to
39:01
Speaker 1: you know, get up? You know, it's it's it's I'm
39:04
Speaker 1: struggling with it a little bit because my mother is
39:07
Speaker 1: ninety nine, or my grandmother is ninety nine, and she
39:09
Speaker 1: has more good days than bad, but she still is
39:13
Speaker 1: having bad days that I've never seen before, right, So
39:16
Speaker 1: I'm wondering, like, is it any time now? I mean,
39:21
Speaker 1: she is ninety nine years old? But when when it happens,
39:27
Speaker 1: who's going to be there for me?
39:29
Speaker 2: Yeah? Is it?
39:31
Speaker 1: Kind? I don't have any kids. Is Ryan, Sophia, Sidney
39:35
Speaker 1: or Spencer going to be there for me? I don't know,
39:38
Speaker 1: It's I guess will I guess It's to be determined.
39:42
Speaker 2: And so are you going to celebrate with grandma? Yeah?
39:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, ninety nine years old?
39:49
Speaker 2: I wish you did you take the tenth or how
39:51
Speaker 2: do you how do you do it?
39:52
Speaker 1: I usually do because that's where when she wants to
39:56
Speaker 1: she's still and she's starting to have some amnesia or
40:01
Speaker 1: signs dementia, because every time I go see her, she's
40:04
Speaker 1: just like, so, do you still live in New Mexico? Like, Mom, no,
40:11
Speaker 1: I'm only twenty five minutes away. That's that's that's not
40:13
Speaker 1: very far. It's like, wait, you rode your bike from Mexico.
40:18
Speaker 1: So it's it's happening. And you know, not just the
40:22
Speaker 1: fear of losing her, but the fear of getting to
40:25
Speaker 1: that point in my life is kind of scaring me, Like,
40:29
Speaker 1: you know, what's going to happen? You know, I And
40:32
Speaker 1: no matter how much money you have in your life
40:34
Speaker 1: and you have, you know, all the nurses to take
40:37
Speaker 1: care of you, it's not the same as having somebody
40:39
Speaker 1: who loves you really take care of you, right, And
40:44
Speaker 1: that that, to me is going to be Probably the
40:46
Speaker 1: hardest part is like is there going to be somebody there?
40:50
Speaker 1: Because I might outlive my wife. You know, I'm the
40:53
Speaker 1: crazy one, but I think my genes have shown that
40:57
Speaker 1: I'm gonna live longer than her.
41:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, everything I think in life, everything is reciprocal.
41:04
Speaker 3: So I think if if you're constantly showing people love,
41:08
Speaker 3: you'll get that back. And if you're there for people,
41:10
Speaker 3: they'll be there for you. So sure that you know
41:14
Speaker 3: there's there's going to be someone there taking care of you.
41:16
Speaker 3: And again, I think you know Teddy as much as
41:18
Speaker 3: much as she's like now, she knows like, yeah, go
41:21
Speaker 3: visit moms because she knows that that eventually my kids
41:25
Speaker 3: are going to now eventually be taking care of her
41:27
Speaker 3: because they're going to see the way I treated my
41:29
Speaker 3: mom exactly. And again everything is sort of reciprocal. And
41:35
Speaker 3: but yeah, so now what are your thoughts on You know,
41:38
Speaker 3: we're speaking to grandma's Tamra's a grandma, which I still
41:42
Speaker 3: don't I can't even understand that she looks so young.
41:44
Speaker 2: I would never look at her as a grandma.
41:46
Speaker 1: But she had her first child at seventeen years old.
41:50
Speaker 3: I know that's that's crazy. So how do you feel
41:53
Speaker 3: about her being a grandma?
41:54
Speaker 1: Oh, it's no different.
41:57
Speaker 2: Do you give her a crap for that grandma?
41:59
Speaker 1: Oh? No, she's such a young grandma and even her
42:02
Speaker 1: mom is such a young grandma, a great grandma. Actually,
42:07
Speaker 1: you know, they always tay you look at the mother
42:10
Speaker 1: before you marry the girl, because that's what she's going
42:12
Speaker 1: to look like. And I love her mom. She's so
42:16
Speaker 1: just full of life and takes good care of herself
42:19
Speaker 1: and and just it's always active. So Tama has some
42:22
Speaker 1: good genes too, and she's going to be active for
42:25
Speaker 1: a long time.
42:26
Speaker 2: You know.
42:27
Speaker 1: That's that's what I'm looking forward to. It's like we're
42:29
Speaker 1: going to be doing things till we're dead.
42:32
Speaker 3: Yeah, And How's what's Tama's role as a grandma? Is
42:36
Speaker 3: she like involved? Does she try to maybe just not
42:38
Speaker 3: not get involved too much?
42:40
Speaker 1: Or is she no? She she does get involved. When
42:44
Speaker 1: when her mom used to live here, we used to
42:46
Speaker 1: get the opportunity to see Ava once a week. But
42:49
Speaker 1: when mom moved away, it's been kind of challenging. And
42:53
Speaker 1: especially when Tama films, it's really hard for her to
42:56
Speaker 1: stop and do anything with anybody, including myself. But now
43:01
Speaker 1: that she's not filming, and she has spent time, you know,
43:03
Speaker 1: going and taking Ava out. There was I think her
43:07
Speaker 1: her mom, Ava and Sophia went out and hung out yesterday,
43:12
Speaker 1: you know, like I was like four different generations and
43:15
Speaker 1: that was fun. That was really cool. But she loves
43:18
Speaker 1: to do stuff like that she loves Ava. She has
43:21
Speaker 1: seen Ava grow up and you know, just become her own.
43:23
Speaker 1: And just like the other kids, they to see the
43:26
Speaker 1: evolution of a child go from you know to you know,
43:32
Speaker 1: give me money, right, you know, it's it's it's a
43:37
Speaker 1: great life experience, I think. And I think she's enjoying
43:41
Speaker 1: Ava tremendously.
43:43
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't wait to be a grandpa, I think, Oh, definitely.
43:48
Speaker 2: I feel like my first kids.
43:50
Speaker 3: I you know, I was so in work that I
43:54
Speaker 3: you know, I probably well, my first one, I was very,
43:57
Speaker 3: very involved, right because you know, it was you know,
44:01
Speaker 3: Teddy came into it I think four months or actually
44:05
Speaker 3: technically three weeks, but I would I would spend you know,
44:10
Speaker 3: like I changed diapers with my first with my first daughter,
44:13
Speaker 3: and I like literally took care of but I used
44:16
Speaker 3: to take you know, give her bats. Once the second
44:19
Speaker 3: one was around and Teddy was you know, now it
44:22
Speaker 3: was more like Teddy doing all of it.
44:23
Speaker 2: You know.
44:23
Speaker 3: I always tell Teddy I'm a better dad when she's
44:26
Speaker 3: not around. She's around, I'm not as good as as
44:29
Speaker 3: good of a dad as I probably could be, just because.
44:32
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, Teddy's got it. Teddy's got it. I'm
44:34
Speaker 2: more the fun dad.
44:36
Speaker 3: But but yeah, no, just again, shout out to all moms.
44:41
Speaker 3: I mean, we we love you so much. And you know, mother,
44:45
Speaker 3: being a mother is not easy. Whenever you think it's easy,
44:50
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, whenever you think being a mom
44:52
Speaker 3: is easy, stay with your kids for all day and
44:56
Speaker 3: take care of them all day. And you tell me
44:58
Speaker 3: if that's easy, especially when they're one year or two
45:00
Speaker 3: years old.
45:01
Speaker 2: That thing is hard.
45:03
Speaker 1: Yes, yeah, yes, it is hard. I have so much
45:08
Speaker 1: respect for moms because you know, they obviously make this
45:13
Speaker 1: world go around. They're the ones that have kids. But
45:16
Speaker 1: their job is so hard in the first probably eighteen
45:21
Speaker 1: years of the kids alive, right, so much work. But yeah,
45:26
Speaker 1: I can't imagine what they go through. But I have
45:29
Speaker 1: a lot of respect for moms of the world.
45:32
Speaker 3: Not to mention the pain they have to go through,
45:34
Speaker 3: uh labor like I can't even imagine.
45:37
Speaker 2: I can't even imagine. So just much respect.
45:40
Speaker 1: Yes, Happy Mother's Day to all.
45:42
Speaker 2: Be Mother's Day. I hope you got to have an
45:45
Speaker 2: amazing day.
45:47
Speaker 1: And that's our podcast. Yes, great catching up brother, Good
45:52
Speaker 1: to see you, ye brother, and we will see you
45:54
Speaker 1: next podcast. I'm really excited because it's going to be
45:57
Speaker 1: our first guest.
45:58
Speaker 3: Oh, that's gonna be fun. One yeah, yeah, yes, is yet.
46:02
Speaker 3: Or we're just gonna leave, leave them in suspense.
46:04
Speaker 1: We'll leave in suspense. It will be a surprise. I'm
46:06
Speaker 1: really excited about it. It'll be fine. I think it'll
46:10
Speaker 1: be a good time.
46:11
Speaker 2: It'll be a house husband.
46:12
Speaker 1: Yes, it's just gonna be a house husband.
46:14
Speaker 2: Yes.
46:15
Speaker 1: All right, until next time.
46:17
Speaker 2: Until next time.
46:19
Speaker 1: H