Latest / What Comes Next with Arun / The Game of Ten: Why High Performers Run on Outdated Code | Steve Barton

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The Game of Ten: Why High Performers Run on Outdated Code | Steve Barton · What Comes Next with Arun

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Most organizations are not behind on AI.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: They are behind on the thinking required to use it.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I am Arnan Sapatnaik, ex-Microsoft.ai executive, CEO of TipSura, and your host.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: This is what comes next.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: The podcast where we talk about building the kind of organization that actually wins in an intelligence-driven economy.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Let's get into it.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: He helps high-performance achievers, business owners, entrepreneurs, and CEOs achieve the goals faster.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: He coaches and teaches them how to do this without the stress and pressure that used to be the motivating driver.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: He has 46 years of business knowledge, wisdom, and hands-on experience.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: He uses unique mindset, high performance training process, the game of 10.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: The process is so unique, it's registered trademarked with United States Patent Office.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: So, Steve, welcome to the show.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's in the process.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: But it's a framework that I created where I think any individual or a company can start from nothing and grow to be the biggest company in the world.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_00: So it has these five stages: find your ness, diversify, build a platform, then build a team with ownership mindset, and then invest into research and development.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: So I structure the podcast into those five stages.
• 2:03
  SPEAKER_00: So the find your nest is kind of the introduction.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: It's like, what do you do and why?
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: Right.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, have a uh coaching practice.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_00: You coach high performers to achieve things faster, right?
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: So tell me, like, you know, how did this happen?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so we you were yourself a high performer, then you figured out something, and that made you want to go into the coaching business.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So that's your nize.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start there.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: You know, how how did you get started with this?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, I want to start with thank you for having me on your show, okay?
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_01: And secondly, I think we're doing the same thing.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: We're playing the game of 10.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: And we're just we're branding, okay?
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: We're branding a business.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: When I sell my business, it will not be Steve Barton coaching, it'll be the game of ten, the game often played in Tenkare.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: These are concepts that we create, and the game of ten is all about creating, not about thinking.
• 3:03
  SPEAKER_01: About creating, it's creating, having ideas, audacious goals, audacious dreams, and then how do you implement them?
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what the game of ten is all about.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_01: Someone said to me, Well, how can you put this into practical life?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Because, you know, it is practical life.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: You know, most people are living from their past using old data to solve everyday problems that are happening today.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Can you imagine having you using old, it'd be like using DOS with AI, putting in code for DOS, and the AI is gonna go, what?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_01: So the good news is even at seven years old, I'm on an equal playing field with the AI people who are starting up.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_01: So we're all in this together.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Um I mean, I'm definitely on a scale of one to ten with AI.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_01: Three compared to you, probably.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: But as far as everyone's ten, and I think what I'm realizing is what I have to offer the AI community, how to think clearly, because that's how AI thinks clearly.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_01: Without all the past, hurts, pains, fear, self-doubt, guilt, and shame.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: It just is logical, it's strategic, it's not intimate, it's not intimate.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't have can you please give me this?
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't have time, can you let me know what to do?
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, in one prompt, you have to say, What do you want?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: How do you want it?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: What's the context?
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: What's good and what's not good?
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: All of it goes into one prompt.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be like super precise.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, I mean that's how I talk to my girlfriend.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_01: I tell her what I want, I tell her how I want it, and what do I have to do to get it?
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: So so uh yeah, uh we we'll talk more about the game of 10, but uh how how did coaching happen for you?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Were you a professional?
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: What were you doing that you realize that hey, I have done enough.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: Now it's time for me to coach others on how to achieve what I think.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's a great question.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a my life, I'm like Forrest Gump, okay?
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: And and I and I so I I was at a cocktail party and I was doing coaching informally, and I went to a cocktail party.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: Patrick Dempsey is from Maine, from actor, and his sister, he his mother died of cancer, and his sister was Patrick was supposed to be there, but that there was a cardboard cutout of him there, okay?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was a fundraiser for Mary's walk.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: His mother died of cancer.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_01: So I was at a fundraiser for a cancer research in Portland, Maine.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: Or is and uh so Ma uh Patrick Dempsey's sister was there, and then someone was we were talking to her and s and another woman, and the other woman says, I'm going to the Gestalt International Studies Center.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_01: I go, What's that?
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I'm taking a coaching course, and I was coaching without any formal training or foundation to back it up.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I thought, I want to do this, and this is pretty high-end coaching.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_01: It was$13,000 of 10 years ago.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_01: So people there from major corporations, UE was there, a major corporation, a lot of HR therapists.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm thinking to myself, what the hell am I doing here?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, I'm like, I don't know if I belong here.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_01: Within four days, the my coach, there were two coaches.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_01: One was a therapist, and one was for a founder of the Gestalt International Study Center.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's in Cape Cod, Massachusetts.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_01: And uh within four days, she asked if she could hire me to do what I did.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: So Yeah.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_00: But like you were a finance advisor and you are a business consultant.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: So how how did coaching kind of happen?
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was a florist for 30 years.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_01: Let's get that straight.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: I was a florist, I was designing flat.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: I sold my first floral arrangement at eight years old.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: That's when I was hooked on being an entrepreneur.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: I can sell what I do.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And so I always knew I'd be a florist.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: Run florist, run, you know.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: So uh Yeah.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, then I I sold, brought the business from 200,000 to$2 million.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's a lot of flowers, okay?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: In a year.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: And we're doing the high-end weddings.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_01: People Maine is a destination.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: I'm in Portland, Maine, two hours north of Boston.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And Maine is a destination wedding.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: The people come from all over the world to get to get married here, mostly in the US, but there were some Europeans and uh Asians come here to get married, and they would spend the money and they'd say, they'd say to me, Why are you so expensive?
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'd say, I my answer was, Why are you here?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I heard you're the best.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, okay, to get back to your question.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know because I 34 years ago, here's what happened.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_01: You can either think I'm crazy, or you can think, wow, I had a near-death experience out of body.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_01: I call it near death because I had a choice.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: He figured it out.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_01: You can come now.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_01: You can you can come home now.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, I'm having too much fun.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not going.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I had two scenarios going on, and I just took, I was reading a spiritual book at when it happened.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_01: I took the I looked up, had this two visions, took the book, threw it across the room, and said the F word at least 50 times.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because I knew if I said the F word fifty as many times as I was able to, that I would not be taken.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, he ain't ready.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: He's not ready.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: But I had nothing to go on.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_01: So it took me about a month and a half to come down from that state of consciousness and to become act normal.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: And what I know is I know who I am.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: I know who everyone is, and I know our potential.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_01: So that answers your question.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: That is the honest to God truth.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's what I know I am, it's what I know everyone is.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_01: And if we aren't living at that level of tan awareness, then we're really cheating ourselves in this lifetime.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: You had a moment and you had clarity and you figured out that if I could get other people to have the kind of clarity I have, then you know, that's how I help people.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: So that's how you find yourness.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: So walk me through, like, you know, how the coaching is kind of like this, you know, there are the different methods of coaching.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_00: So when I was at uh Microsoft, I did some coaching, and they used to say uh that there's this particular method of coaching where you don't tell the answer, right?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: So we are training for how to be a good coach, because you know, everyone who wants to be like a manager, like you have to be a coach to be a manager, and then you know, so that there was this method that you never tell people the answer, the answer is within them.
• 10:16
  SPEAKER_00: You keep asking them questions when they themselves realize the answer, right?
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, you know, do you approve that?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Or like if let's say people come to you, like what is the process that you take them through so they get the clarity and you know they figure out how to do things faster.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like, so yeah, I approve that.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's very much uh talk therapy, okay?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because the therapist never tells, says, How do you feel about that?
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_01: You know, and how does that make you feel?
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then four years later, you're talking to them again.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: So I do both.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: I will guide them because they're gonna figure it out themselves.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: So I came up with six phrases, okay, that it brainwashes you of all the crap that you haven't data dumped.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: So there's the affirmation meditation, and then there's a visualization of data dumping.
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: So there's two parts to it.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then everything else is how do you assimilate that into?
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: So my first four s I do three months coaching, 12 sessions, 12 weeks.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: It takes about that long to re to habitual habituate ourselves into correct patterns of behavior.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_01: Habits are great if they're great habits, okay?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_01: Habits are horrible if they're bad habits.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_01: So so we and typically we don't even know we're habitualized, because that's who we are.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: This we're very uh habitual.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd love to have you do the six phrases with me, okay?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_01: So say these, the first one, especially with great enthusiasm.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I'll tell you why after, okay?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: I'm ten.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: I am ten.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: Is that the most enthusiastic everyone can get?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: I am ten.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, you are.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: I knew it.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_01: I knew it the first time I met you.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: So yes, you are, and so is everyone else.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: You we're all special, not special, okay?
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: But we are that excited about it.
• 12:16
  SPEAKER_01: So anyone who's like a three or a two are gonna think we're crazy saying that, okay?
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm doing the best that I can with the awareness that I have.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm doing the best that I can with the awareness that I have.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: I'm always right with the awareness that I have.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: I'm always right with the awareness that I have.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_01: I am enough.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I am enough.
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_01: I do enough.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_01: I do enough.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: I have enough.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: I have enough.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_01: In fifteen seconds you answer all the questions, our identity, mind, aka ego is constantly chattering, chattering, chattering, chattering, chattering.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: It answers all the questions.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_01: In fifteen seconds.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, do you meditate?
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: I try to, it it definitely I have ADHD.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: I I tried for f six sixty years, you know, about sixty years.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: I said, no way, you know.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_01: I can no, but this qu I've had two people bliss out by saying this.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_01: I was at my business meeting, I go to a local business meeting, and one of my co cohorts in it, his name was Steve too.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_01: There's seven Steeds in my 50 per member BI meeting.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, there's seven of us.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: We go by Steve number one to maybe there's even nine now.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's ridiculous.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: The new John of US.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so uh I go, Steve, how are you doing?
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Oh my god, I was up all last night.
• 13:42
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my just brain is just racing.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: Race.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't sleep last night.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: I go, still racing with you.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: I said, see me after.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_01: So he knew.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_01: We did a couple of one-to-one, so he knew what I did.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: And um, so we went to the other room.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_01: It was a it was a a club that we kind of an 1800s club and very beautiful mansion type building.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: So went off into the leather chairs in the other room.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so I go, okay, repeat after me, just what we did.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_01: And his mind was I still mind still racing.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, Yep.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_01: I said, okay, we did those phrases.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, I can't think.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, I can't think.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: He starts laughing hysterically.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_01: I go, you blissing out?
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: I can't think.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_01: He goes, I can't think.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: I said, good.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: That is awareness.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: That is awareness.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: When you can't, when you're not, when you have your mind of no thought, you're in pure bliss.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean you're gonna be blissed.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Most of the time it's content.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_01: The range of 10 is content to bliss.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: He blissed out.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: I said I even said to him, if you leave your body, let me know.
• 14:50
  SPEAKER_01: I'll help you get back in.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how powerful those phrases are.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_01: It takes usually practice because we get so conditioned, okay?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Arun, think of yourself as an as a six-year-old boy.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_01: You're a smart kid.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: You were a smart kid as a little boy, weren't you?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: I know that.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: And your parents did too, but remember this.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: Aaron, what were you thinking?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: What were you thinking?
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: What did you how did you do why did you do that?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: What were you thinking?
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_01: Think, think.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: We get traumatized into thinking.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: We couldn't fight, we couldn't flight, we just froze.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: And probably cried.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's trauma.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: That's trauma.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: But but these are our parents who love us and they got yelled at too.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_01: And they got the parents got yelled at.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: It's generational.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: And that's minor trauma, okay?
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: But we get addicted to thinking.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_01: But we don't get taught how to think and how to use our thoughts.
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_01: Because we are we have thoughts, we are not our thoughts, we have feelings, we have emotions, we have a mind, we have a body, we have a skill, we have a title, we have accolades, okay?
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: We are not any of those, we are conscious awareness.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_01: Pure conscious awareness.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: That's D.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: He'll tell you.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_01: We are pure pure potentiality, he'd say, you know, from un from the unmanifest.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's what it is.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_01: So but we get conditioned to think and use our thought and come from thoughts versus awareness, which is consciousness, connected to all consciousness.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: Google me wrong.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: It's like uh it's difficult for me to uh wrap my head around it because I mean I I hear you, but like my mind is like very logical.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Like I'm saying how do I analyze this?
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: How do I contextualize this?
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_01: You can't, you you can't.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's the thing.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's not logical.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's what is logical is what comes in from the space of intentionality and pure potentiality and intuition.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: So from intuitions comes the creative ideas, creativity, uh, imagination.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_01: What is the big dream?
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 17:11
  SPEAKER_01: Your big dream was your what you created with your program and your book and your process.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_01: That was a dream.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's how it okay?
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And how do I put this manifestation or this dream into logic?
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Guess what comes in from no thought?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: A thought gets brings is birthed, basically.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's a birthing of an idea of a thought.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: The how, the who, what, where, what, why, and how to do it.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: How do you put the unmanifested idea, which is not a thing or it's a concept, it's not physical.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: The thought comes in, and that's the beginning of the physicality.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Thoughts are things.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: They're synapses in the brain.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: And then it uses the body to how are we gonna do this?
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: Use the body, make a phone call.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I'm gonna call this person, shoot this idea off them.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna co it's gonna you're gonna use your hands to write it down.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna use your but do it most people do it from their old thoughts.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_01: The Cleveland Clinic did a study years ago, mess I would say 30 years ago of thoughts.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: The aver and you've probably heard it, the average person has 60,000 thoughts a day.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: 80% of those thoughts are from the past, 80% of that's 46,000 thoughts, okay?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: And 20% are from today.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_01: So you got 20,000 thoughts going through your head today, or more, okay?
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_01: Up to 60.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: If you that guy that I did the freezing, he probably had 60 going through, maybe 70.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Who I don't even know how they did that study, frankly.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: So I love studies and I always like to debunk them.
• 18:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I do, I love that stuff.
• 18:49
  SPEAKER_01: So 80% are negative.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's the negativity bias that our identity uses to keep us in our body.
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it uses fear, self-doubt, guilt, and shame to keep us physical in our body.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: So the ego's not bad.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_01: The ego's not bad.
• 19:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like you have all the ego's the devil, oh the ego's the the frenemy, the ego's the uh saboteur.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: It does limit us.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I say, I know every thought I have is limiting.
• 19:24
  SPEAKER_01: Every belief I have is limiting.
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_01: When you operate from the infinite, I was on a podcast two weeks a month ago, very Catholic, very Christian.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: She was a doctor of something.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: I never got into what she was a doctor of, but apparently she had the letters after her name.
• 19:40
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, On Riverside on five, I go, I don't believe in God, don't you?
• 19:47
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, What?
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I said, why do you I somebody have to believe in something you experience every second of every day?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Oh my god, I'm gonna have you on again.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: You know, so it just to explain, why do you uh do you believe in air?
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_01: Do you believe in every you experience so people end up believing and they're limiting beliefs and people end up thinking and they're limiting thoughts.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_01: So to be to unleash our creativity, you want to get to I I some people say when I first meet them, I what are you gonna teach me?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_01: I'll teach you how to think and how to think.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_01: What do you mean by not how to think?
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Would you rather think or would you rather know?
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'd rather know.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: Would you rather believe or would you rather know?
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I'd rather know.
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_01: And knowledge combined knowledge aligns with ten.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Because we're an aspect of the divine.
• 20:47
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not religious.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_01: You can put it into religion, okay?
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_01: If anyone tried to make the game of ten into religions, I'd probably call 911.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: It's like they need help.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: So, but that's what people do.
• 20:59
  SPEAKER_01: They come up with these ideas and they put them into religions.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: And there's I think there's fourth out of the 30,000 religions in the world today, all connected to beliefs of an idea that someone came up with.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: And they're all different and they're all better than each other.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: And but you have to talk to this guy.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: He's brilliant, you know.
• 21:16
  SPEAKER_01: So, yeah, the game of 10 will never be a religion, I promise you.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_00: That's good.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_00: But like, you know, like every coaching methodology and every coaching, the promise of like what the coaching uh delivers and how it delivers, it's so different and so unique.
• 21:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like yours is like super unique that you have a trademark for it.
• 21:41
  SPEAKER_00: But that kind of creates a challenge that like if somebody like at what point what would someone need to realize to figure out that first of all they need coaching, and once they realize that, how do they find the right coach?
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, is there a process for that, or is there like a Marketplace, like if you work in a company and a coach is assigned to you, if you work in a sports team and you know and a coach is assigned, like they're assigned, so you have to work with them, right?
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_00: But if you have to find one yourself, right, then like you have to figure out exactly what I'm trying to get out of coaching, then who would be the right coach to deliver what I want, right?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_00: So so what would you recommend as a methodology that anyone can use to first of all realize when do they need a coach and how to find the right coach?
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Well, first of all, show me an Olympic athlete or a professional sports player or Academy Award-winning actor or actress.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: Show me one that doesn't have a coach.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_01: I think in our society, in business, it's almost like if I have a coach, then I'm then I'm not the superstar that everyone thinks I'm supposed to be.
• 22:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: It's ego.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's pure ego.
• 23:01
  SPEAKER_01: I think everyone needs a therapist and everyone needs a coach, okay?
• 23:05
  SPEAKER_01: So at some time, you know?
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: Um and I think if you've because we don't reflect on ourselves, okay, someone, what isn't okay?
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: I get asked all these great questions from podcast hosts, and they'll say, What do you say to a successful entrepreneur or or leader that can't hold on to their employees who can't do this and can't do that?
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, first of all, let's start with this.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_01: They're not a successful leader, okay?
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_01: They're not successful, you know?
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: And if then what do you say to a successful leader who's not happy?
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_01: First of all, they're not successful because happiness is our innate being.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: We're constantly making choices every day.
• 23:46
  SPEAKER_01: Will this make me happy or will this not?
• 23:48
  SPEAKER_01: Is this is it leading me to happiness?
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_01: Is this give joy, peace, love?
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_01: Is this gonna bring me joy?
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna bring me happiness, is it gonna bring all right?
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_01: So the key is you can't get there.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_01: You're already there.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I think the real question is, why am I unhappy?
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_01: Why am I not feeling successful?
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: And when you ask that question, well, oh, actually, why do I like being unhappy?
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I like being feeling unsuccessful?
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I like feeling less than?
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: Why what do I get out of it?
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: When you ask those questions like that, you're gonna go, holy crap.
• 24:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_01: But when you when you but most people can't do those tough questions to themselves.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: Their wife will t their wife will tell them, okay, or their girlfriend will tell them, or their or their family will tell them, but people won't do it themselves.
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I like this?
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_01: What benefit do I get out of it?
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: Then you're gonna go, holy crap.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_01: I get sympathy from it.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_01: People like me because I'm self-deprecating.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_01: People like me because I'm humble.
• 24:58
  SPEAKER_01: On the fourth session, when someone says to me, I'll give them ten in four sessions.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: On the fourth session, if they come to me, I say, How you doing?
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: on a scale of one to ten.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Happy, healthy, wealthy, healed in home.
• 25:11
  SPEAKER_01: Today I'm about an eight.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna tell everyone what I do because it's harsh.
• 25:18
  SPEAKER_01: I go, you know, if you said you were a twelve, wouldn't that be arrogant?
• 25:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: Well, do you know how arrogant it is to say that you're an eight?
• 25:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I just deadpan.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_01: Deadpan 'em.
• 25:30
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: They'll say what?
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: I said, You are a divine being.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_01: And and you were just made special, aren't you?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_01: That you just have something wrong with you.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_01: You were just a reject off the assembly line.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that was it, wasn't it?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know how arrogant that sounds?
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_01: They go, I'm dead.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm dead.
• 25:54
  SPEAKER_01: But then second half of the game of ten comes in.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: You have to what do you have to let go of to actualize your actual feeling of tennis are fear one through nine, self-doubt, one through nine, guilt, I did something bad, they did something bad.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_01: One through nine that we're holding on to.
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_01: All these we're holding on to.
• 26:17
  SPEAKER_01: And shame, I am bad, one through nine.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: They are bad, one through nine.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_01: We everyone's a mirror until we're healed.
• 26:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then we become the window.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: And we shine our light through that window of acceptance.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: On acceptance itself.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: Is that the conversation you thought you were gonna have today, Aaron?
• 26:38
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's it's it's it's it sounds uh good idea.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_00: It sounds you know uh very deep and when you think about it.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_00: But the thing is like at a time like when you are like in a moment and you are trying to achieve something, it it's kind of difficult for people who haven't had those perspectives to kind of figure out that that's what I need, right?
• 27:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it's it's it's it's the process of finding exactly what type of help you need to achieve whatever you're trying to achieve, uh seems to be kind of a mystery, at least.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: You're your biggest coach, I'm my biggest coach.
• 27:15
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: Let me put it that way.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: I only hold people accountable, okay?
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: I that's what coaches do.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: You want to find somebody who is really self-motivated, driven, but they want some accountability.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_01: You know?
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_01: And when they're going to the top, it's sometimes lonely.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_01: Make sense?
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:37
  SPEAKER_01: And they want someone who will be there to say, Great job, you really did that, you crushed it.
• 27:43
  SPEAKER_01: Talking to the board.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_01: There's a c couple people on the board of directors who really have it in for you.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: They wanted someone else on the board, and you really nailed it when you didn't react when they said that.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: And you didn't respond when they were being disrespectful.
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: You raised an eyebrow, you held your confidence, you held your integrity, and you moved on without a flinch.
• 28:06
  unknown: Yeah.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: You go, you go, guy.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: That's what a good coach does.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_00: So listen now, coaching is your primary business.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_00: And one of the things I talk about is that you can't do the one thing.
• 28:20
  SPEAKER_00: You have to have things around it that kind of support your core business.
• 28:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's kind of helps strengthen your core.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, you know, you have a podcast, you know, that's how we met.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so you know, I'll talk to you offline about, you know, coaching on the how to be a successful podcaster.
• 28:40
  SPEAKER_00: But uh, outside of like podcasting, are there other things you do that kind of help you become a better coach or help you kind of you know make your business more sustainable?
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: You mean be number one in pod match in the United States and be number three in the world like that?
• 29:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like blue black band, build my authority, uh, write a book.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh present my present my uh coaching process to Harvard Business School case study team, who gets uh who develops a relationship with the executive director, who's who's going to be proofreading my new book coming out, who who is going to be asked to do a forward after I give her the she said, make sure you put in Word document so I can make some notes in it, of course, of course, and I would make any anything she says, I will do.
• 29:32
  SPEAKER_01: They're professional writers.
• 29:34
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 29:35
  SPEAKER_01: I want the business community to embrace the process called the game of ten.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:42
  SPEAKER_01: Guess what?
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_01: I know Marianne Williamson.
• 29:45
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if you know her where you are.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: Marianne Williamson, she wrote, she wrote the book seven times New York Times bestseller.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_01: She coined the phrase that Nelson Mandeli used, went to end apartheid.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_01: We're not afraid of how insignificant we are, we're afraid of how powerful we are.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_01: That was her.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_01: I get to know her over a three-month period during COVID.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: She was my one of my writing coaches.
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I got to hang out with her once a week for 12 weeks.
• 30:14
  SPEAKER_01: And it's a great segue because we're gonna go into how do you let go of the fear of doubt, guilt, and shame.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: Wanna do that?
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_01: Or do you want to talk about coaching?
• 30:24
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, let's talk about that, you know.
• 30:27
  SPEAKER_01: Well, then we'll finish it off because when you say those phrases, I had a client, she was a doctor, beautiful doctor, and she wanted she hired me for coaching.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: And she says, Steve, a month into it, she goes, Steve, I'm worse off than I was when I first met you.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Are you doing the phrases?
• 30:48
  SPEAKER_01: And then the next process, I'm segueing into this, I have people create.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_01: Marianne Williamson actually gave me this.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: She's been traveling the world for 40 years, uh, lecturing on a book called A Course in Miracles.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: A lot of people probably know about it.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: It's uh Eckhart Tolli did a lecture.
• 31:04
  SPEAKER_01: Wayne Dyer talks about it, all Deepak Chopra talks about it, all the Tony Robinson, they all talk about it.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: It's it's psychological, spiritual, about who we are.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: And the it makes it common sense spirituality, common sense psychology.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: So common sense is our sixth sense, by the way.
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: Is our intuition.
• 31:25
  SPEAKER_01: Our seventh sense, which I could coined and trademarked, is our sense of humor.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: People learn best, people learn best when they're laughing and having fun.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's why I created the game of ten.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: So let me just finish this and then well but because if you don't if you say those phrases and you don't let it opens up your consciousness, even your subconsciousness, the things you're keeping suppressed.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't let them go, this woman says, I'm worse off than I was before.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: I'm just like, I go, Are you doing the phrases?
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: She says, Yes, a lot.
• 31:59
  SPEAKER_01: Are you going to the altar?
• 32:01
  SPEAKER_01: So have Marion Williams had said, create an altar in your mind, okay?
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_01: An arun temple in your mind.
• 32:08
  SPEAKER_01: And then that temple, it's your own private room in your mind that you can go and have an altar on there.
• 32:15
  SPEAKER_01: So any thoughts that come up that you are not good enough, don't do enough, don't have enough, not right with the awareness you have, not doing the best you can with the awareness you have, and that you're not 10.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: Any thoughts, people think they have to forgive a person, place, or situation that happened to them.
• 32:33
  SPEAKER_01: They have to forgive the thoughts about it.
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't mean it didn't happen.
• 32:38
  SPEAKER_01: It happened.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_01: Just have to let go of the thoughts that did.
• 32:41
  SPEAKER_01: So that makes it simple.
• 32:43
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to for tell call up that person and say I forgive you.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_01: You don't.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_01: You don't one of my favorite things she used to say in 1992 when I said follow her, you have to love everyone.
• 32:55
  SPEAKER_01: You don't have to have lunch with them.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 32:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 33:00
  SPEAKER_00: So uh, you know, let's move to the next part about building a platform, right?
• 33:05
  SPEAKER_00: Like coaching is such a like to me, I mean, you are a coach, so you're kind of into this.
• 33:11
  SPEAKER_00: For me, it's kind of still a very mysterious field, right?
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: I don't uh it's not very logical.
• 33:18
  SPEAKER_00: So is there a way?
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like, are there things common?
• 33:23
  SPEAKER_00: Is there a way to kind of build a platform that people can use and things can be plug and play into it so you people can kind of use that and and the platform can kind of tell you at what time you need what, and then you just get that part of the accent and that part of the phrase.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_00: Like is is is it possible?
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_01: I mean possible, but I I think that you have to put the cart behind the horse.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_01: So oftentimes most people put the cart before the horse.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: Alright?
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_01: So you want to have the cart the horse pulling the cart, right?
• 34:01
  SPEAKER_01: Your passion is the horse that brings along everything that will come to you.
• 34:08
  SPEAKER_01: That you put the horse on its path will experience.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: But most people put their thoughts in front of them and then try to see through that lens of a of perception versus this lens of perspective.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the difference.
• 34:26
  SPEAKER_01: We look through the lens of our past.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: Hurts, pains, emotional pains, and and joy too.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_01: But if they're painful, if they're disappointing, we're appointed ten, and er the further we get away from nine, eight, seven, six, five, that lens gets thicker, okay?
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_01: Until we're looking through stuff like distorted becomes a carnival mirror of what life is really like.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_01: And then they believe it.
• 34:55
  SPEAKER_01: So at ten you get a hundred percent what you asked for, at nine, ninety percent, at five, fifty percent, at one, ten percent.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_01: So to answer your question, it isn't logical, but it is practical.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it is when you understand the how it works, it's just logic.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: But it's it's people use their thoughts.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: People have their thoughts use them versus us using our thoughts.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: They're tools in our tool shed that need to align, they can be sharpened and they can be developed.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_01: That's called personal development.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Our ego is our personality.
• 35:35
  SPEAKER_01: Develop your ego, sharpen it, hone it, become lovable and likable and not give too anything about if someone loves you or likes you.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's okay.
• 35:47
  SPEAKER_01: That's confidence with faith in who we are.
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: It's compassion too.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_01: Loving them.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: If they don't love if people don't love me, they don't love themselves.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: If they don't like me, they don't like themselves.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care.
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: I'm not around them.
• 36:03
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be around people that don't like me.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want to be around people that don't love me.
• 36:06
  SPEAKER_01: I don't.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have to.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: And that's so freeing.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: So uh let's go.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: Is that practical?
• 36:15
  SPEAKER_01: I know in business sometimes you gotta be around some people who you just don't want to be around.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's why that's why you get paid the big bucks, okay?
• 36:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, of course.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_00: That that's just the reality.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it's not business.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like you go to school and you have class friends, you don't pick them, right?
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: They're assigned.
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_00: You go to, you know, live somewhere, the neighbors, uh, they are just there.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_00: You get to you don't get to pick them, but you have to learn to work with them, right?
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: And they say you can pick your nose, you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 36:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, yeah, so but end of the day, coaching is still a business, like so you are kind of the core product, right?
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_00: Your time, your knowledge is the core product.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_00: But are there other people within the business who are are kind of essential to supporting your coaching as a business?
• 37:05
  SPEAKER_00: And how how do you pick the right kind of people and how do you incentivize them to kind of work towards your best interests?
• 37:14
  SPEAKER_01: Uh my friends are my my I hang around with coaches, okay?
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I get free coaching, they get free coaching, and you want to find friends who are, I mean, you've heard the phrase you want to be the average person in the room.
• 37:26
  SPEAKER_01: If you have the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room, right?
• 37:30
  SPEAKER_01: So you want to be the average, because you want to be mentored by people who have done things that are way, you know, your dream.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: That you want to hang around with them.
• 37:40
  SPEAKER_01: We there is a thing called transference.
• 37:43
  SPEAKER_01: It is a thing.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_01: Therapists, coaches, if you don't have boundaries in this awareness and somebody is chronically depressed, anxious, just like a ball of nerves and just negative energy, if you don't have healthy boundaries of compassionate detachment, you will pick that up.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: And that's a common thing in therapy.
• 38:09
  SPEAKER_01: We are actually during even coaching, they just said it's called transference.
• 38:12
  SPEAKER_01: It's a thing.
• 38:14
  SPEAKER_01: We transfer our energy.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_01: So hang around people who are just inspiring, creative, make you laugh.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: That's what if I was gonna hire a coach, I want I like to laugh.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, if you haven't noticed, I have fun.
• 38:28
  SPEAKER_01: I if I don't if I don't have fun, I ain't going.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_01: If these people are complainers and downers and negative, no, I'm not going.
• 38:35
  SPEAKER_01: What are you gonna do?
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: I'd rather be home alone, frankly, because I crack myself up.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm I'll do some research and development on TikTok.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_01: I call her my girlfriend's.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_01: Why are you always scrolling?
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_01: I said, I'm doing research and development for my business because I'm on great algorithms.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I know what I want to watch.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_01: I get pick up some great stuff of psychology, coaching, just common sense.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_01: That is not very common, if you haven't noticed.
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: It's not common.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 39:07
  SPEAKER_00: Exactly.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: So you kind of have to have your network that kind of supports your knowledge, and also your network that kind of refers your business, right?
• 39:18
  SPEAKER_00: So they are your core group, and it's it's it's it's kind of uh, you know, uh it's a mutually beneficial environment, right?
• 39:29
  SPEAKER_00: So you build that network that supports each other.
• 39:32
  SPEAKER_01: And you want to find a coach that can my first client was the head of coaching for the Gestalt International Study Center.
• 39:40
  SPEAKER_01: All right, so she's in my book.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: Her name's Marianne Walk.
• 39:43
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Marianne, can I put in our story about you working with me?
• 39:50
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, Yeah, but just let me read it before it goes to the publisher.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: I just want to.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: And so she did.
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Steve, there's just one little thing.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's nothing major, but uh, she goes, Well, you said I was ahead of HR for ATT North America.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah.
• 40:10
  SPEAKER_01: She says, I was ahead of the world.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: That was my first client.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: For 30 years she worked for ATT.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: She was she negotiated labor contracts globally for ATT.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: She was my first client.
• 40:24
  SPEAKER_01: So when I got asked for doing discovery, have you ever worked with a CEO before?
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_01: She's one of my best friends now.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_01: And yeah, so I'm telling you, I'm like first gump.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_01: Then things happen.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: What are the odds?
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_01: The first day I'm there, four days afterwards.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know if your audience would appreciate this or not, but I'm very intuitive and I do readings.
• 40:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so it was Halloween night in Provincetown, Massachusetts.
• 40:56
  SPEAKER_01: The gayest community next to probably is equal to Key West in America.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so it's Halloween night.
• 41:04
  SPEAKER_01: Everyone was out there just being flamboyantly gay.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: We were 20 minutes away, so we all went down there to have an Italian restaurant.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I was doing readings.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_01: People were just talking about stuff, and we talked about intuition.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah, I do readings.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: I've been doing it for at that time probably 25 years.
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: And I just hold on to an object and just tell you all about yourself.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: And that's usually, I just do it because I have a clear mind, and all minds are joined.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 41:31
  SPEAKER_01: All minds are joined.
• 41:33
  SPEAKER_01: That is our intuitive, intentional connectedness to each other.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: Fish.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_01: That fish that one turns and the whole school turns, right?
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_01: So we're connected, and so many people can't understand that.
• 41:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I do completely, and I also don't believe in death.
• 41:53
  SPEAKER_01: We do leave our body, but we don't leave our essence, and it goes on.
• 41:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even know if you know your dead, okay?
• 41:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because I've been I don't even think they know they're dead.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because they're not.
• 42:03
  SPEAKER_01: Actually, when I had the out of the body experience near death, I never felt more alive.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_01: Let me put it that way.
• 42:08
  SPEAKER_01: Never, even now.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I was at after I had this happen, all the people I thought were weird in my town, they became my friends.
• 42:19
  SPEAKER_01: All the weirdos hanging around the metaphysical bookstore became, oh my God, then I'm crazy.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 42:28
  SPEAKER_01: So so I go to, so I I used to go to her channeler uh and a tarot card reader once a year.
• 42:35
  SPEAKER_01: That was my that was my gift to myself for an hour and a half.
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: Go to her, and she told me it was gonna happen.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: She read the card.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Oh my god, Steve, you're gonna go through it.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna said, make sure you eat, make sure you sleep.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, anyways, it happened.
• 42:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, and it happened big time.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: And she began, I called her up after I just second minutes after I had the out of body experience, I called her up.
• 42:59
  SPEAKER_01: I only knew her for three or four and a half hours over three years.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: She was, I was a client of hers, and she was good.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: And I called her up.
• 43:07
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Sandra, I figured out the meaning of life and had an out of body experience.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: She was, she's five foot tall, kind of chunky, crew cut, gray hair with round glasses, and she's from Austin, Texas.
• 43:19
  SPEAKER_01: And she goes, What are you talking about?
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I use the F-word.
• 43:23
  SPEAKER_01: I said, You know exactly what I'm talking about.
• 43:26
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, Is your head human?
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_01: I go, Yep.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, she goes, You better bring that energy down, you're gonna take off again.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: So she became a mentor.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're at one of her, she did image uh symbols of the movies because great producers will have symb symbolism, metaphysical, spiritual symbolism in the movies, and most people go right over the head.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_01: So we were in the kitchen taking a break from this course I took with her, and someone walked up to me in the class, Steve, I heard you had an out of body.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Experience.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: I said, Yeah.
• 44:01
  SPEAKER_01: Because she goes, What was it like?
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: I said, it was like having a million orgasms.
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: And my Sandra, 60 years old, maybe 65 at the time, Austin, Texas accent.
• 44:12
  SPEAKER_01: She walks by.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_01: She goes, It's like having one of mine.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_01: You can cut this out if you walk in the road.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: You can cut it out.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_01: It was hilarious for her to say that.
• 44:23
  SPEAKER_01: But I do, I know you don't die, so therefore I've been channeling for people come and basically I don't know oftentimes I don't know who they belong to until I get connected with them, the people that I'm supposed to be connected to.
• 44:37
  SPEAKER_01: So intuition is underrated in business, is what I'm trying to get to.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_01: It connects us to clients, it connects us to opportunities, it connects us to connecting people.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you gotta meet this person.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: Ben Franklin used to I don't know if you know, but know Ben Franklin, he was a founding father of the United States, inventor.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_01: He used to uh I'll put it in more practical down to if he had somebody in the legislature that was really against him, he had a method of gaining trust with them.
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: And he'd go into meet have a meeting with them, just a one-on-one meeting, and he'd notice their bookshelf.
• 45:17
  SPEAKER_01: And he'd say he'd find a book that he was interested in.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: Hey, I've always wanted to read that book, or do you mind if I borrow your book?
• 45:24
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 45:25
  SPEAKER_01: This is like on a Friday.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, I'll have it back to you by Friday.
• 45:29
  SPEAKER_01: And whenever whether he finished the book or not, he made sure that he had the book back by Friday.
• 45:36
  SPEAKER_01: It's the the motto behind that, or the lesson behind it, people love to do favors for you, but they want to trust you that you will be honest with them.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_01: Make sense?
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_01: The game of tan is common sense, it's intuition, it's integrity, it's uh intentionality.
• 45:57
  SPEAKER_00: So uh you know, let's talk about like the final stage of innovation.
• 46:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like you know, in technology we always talk about innovation, right?
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_00: In coaching, it's it's such psychological and insightful, but I'm sure like, you know, just psychology is a science that is that is study and research papers done on it.
• 46:16
  SPEAKER_00: Like are there any research that you do in coaching to create new methodology, new things, other research papers that you read?
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_00: Like what what's the method of innovation in coaching?
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: I make up words and I trademark them.
• 46:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because let me go back to one thing.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know where the word psychology comes from?
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 46:37
  SPEAKER_01: The Greek word psyche, which is spirit.
• 46:41
  SPEAKER_01: Ology, the study of spirit.
• 46:44
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know where the word confidence comes from?
• 46:46
  SPEAKER_01: The Latin word with faith.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_01: Common sense.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_01: We just don't think of it that way.
• 46:53
  SPEAKER_01: We think it's woo-woo, we think it's religious, we think it's spirituality, we think it's this, we think it's this, think think, think, think, think.
• 47:00
  SPEAKER_01: I remember what were you thinking?
• 47:02
  SPEAKER_01: So yeah, I make up.
• 47:04
  SPEAKER_01: I wanted to cut for two and a half years, okay?
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_01: Not exaggerating.
• 47:09
  SPEAKER_01: But when I deeply, deeply, deeply care, I use the F word.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then on podcasts I use the F letter, okay?
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_01: And if people don't like the F letter, so because they're just waiting to be offended.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I really was bugging me.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_01: And usually when I'm intuitive, I am intuitive, but usually when I gotta something's emerging, okay, a psychic emergency, it's like it bugs me.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta come up with a word, one word, when it means I deeply, deeply, deeply care and deeply, deeply, deeply don't give an F.
• 47:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 47:47
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I get the client, for example.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's called so I asked Chat, Grok and Gemini, what does it mean when you what I just said?
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: Each one of them came up with the two words that was it compassionate detachment.
• 48:03
  SPEAKER_01: That's the basis of Buddhism, compassionate detachment.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I said to my chats, my chats, I said, I asked for one word.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where natural intelligence for marketing and creativity is much better than AI.
• 48:20
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_01: This is where our creative ability is much better than our logic ability.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: Logic's great, it's not creative.
• 48:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: You want to be able to align your creativity with your logic as one.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: Much like time-space.
• 48:37
  SPEAKER_01: When you collapse, everything is one.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: We are the one.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 48:42
  SPEAKER_01: Buck stops here.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: It is the one.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: The buck stops there.
• 48:46
  SPEAKER_01: From the macro level to the micro level, quantum physics has proven it.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: In quantum physics, in quantum mechanics, in quantum entanglement.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: I call quantum entanglement the game often played.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: But if you look at Google me wrong, I run, I'd love to know.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: There's a light bean that scientists, quantum physicists can't figure out what it is that cuts right through it.
• 49:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, they can't figure it out because it's science that is 10.
• 49:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 49:15
  SPEAKER_01: You went through that process, and that's how you invented, game of 10, and uh Oh no, I'm I'm still learning, you know, I'm still using metaphors because quantum physics is a metaphor for what is.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know, the infinite, you can only point to it.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: Eckhart Tollio says, I can only point to it.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_01: And because you can't you can I only you can only use metaphors to explain it.
• 49:39
  SPEAKER_01: It's like this, but it's so much vaster than that.
• 49:43
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_01: Make sense?
• 49:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, of course.
• 49:46
  SPEAKER_01: It does make sense because it's infinite.
• 49:48
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm talking about the infinite at 10.
• 49:50
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, you can talk about the finite in the game often played because nine times nine times nine times nine is I memorized it, so I know the answer.
• 50:00
  SPEAKER_01: 6,561 options.
• 50:03
  SPEAKER_01: And that's so many people live in the matrix because there's so many options.
• 50:08
  SPEAKER_01: At 10, guess how many options there are?
• 50:10
  SPEAKER_01: Infinite.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, okay.
• 50:13
  SPEAKER_01: So many people feel comfortable in the finite.
• 50:15
  SPEAKER_01: It's safe.
• 50:16
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 50:18
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 50:20
  SPEAKER_01: You think in the podcast three hours?
• 50:22
  SPEAKER_01: Can we do a three-hour special?
• 50:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I could uh keep talking to you.
• 50:29
  SPEAKER_00: But you know, uh before we go, are there any uh you know, special announcements you would like to make?
• 50:35
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have anything exciting coming out that you want to share?
• 50:38
  SPEAKER_01: I have a new book coming out.
• 50:39
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna ask the uh head of uh Harvard Business School case study team to write it forward, and then I'm gonna ask Marion Williamson to do one too.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_01: That will that will take care of the political, spiritual, and business community as blessings.
• 50:54
  SPEAKER_01: So that's exciting.
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_01: The first book that I did was called The Father, the Son, the Aha Moment.
• 51:02
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody in the audience and yourself and just go download it from my website, www.stevebartoncoaching.com.
• 51:10
  SPEAKER_01: It will explain the game of ten because you know we talked about a lot, you know?
• 51:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and it's was going, this guy is strange.
• 51:19
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 51:20
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I'm stranger than science, okay?
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_00: No, I mean coaching is a strange process.
• 51:25
  SPEAKER_01: Well, the study of the spirit is strange.
• 51:28
  SPEAKER_01: Spooky, what is what did Einstein call it?
• 51:30
  SPEAKER_01: Spooky something.
• 51:32
  SPEAKER_01: I forgot what he did.
• 51:33
  SPEAKER_01: He did relatively he called something spooky science, which was spirituality, basically.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_01: You don't know, you can't.
• 51:40
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a thing.
• 51:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's not a thing, it's not it's formless.
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_01: How do you quantify it?
• 51:46
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, you can't.
• 51:47
  SPEAKER_01: So that's why science says, I ain't dealing with that stuff.
• 51:50
  SPEAKER_01: I can't quantify it.
• 51:51
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 51:52
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to didn't there's no scientific method for that.
• 51:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I think quantum physics is probably the closest to getting to it with that which is observed, you know, changes from it changes.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: So www.stevebartoncoaching.com, scroll down to the bottom, book a call with me.
• 52:10
  SPEAKER_01: Don't book a call with me.
• 52:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you want to be coached and or get a one-hour session, I I give a one hour introductory of what I do.
• 52:19
  SPEAKER_01: You don't get coached, you get an introductory offer.
• 52:22
  SPEAKER_01: If it sounds great to you, great.
• 52:23
  SPEAKER_01: If it doesn't, great.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's the word I came up with, compassionate.
• 52:26
  SPEAKER_01: There was no word that came up with it.
• 52:29
  SPEAKER_01: So AI came up with crappy marketing words.
• 52:33
  SPEAKER_01: Crappy ones.
• 52:34
  SPEAKER_01: I'm going, you guys are disgusting.
• 52:36
  SPEAKER_01: You call your AI, you call yourself AI bots.
• 52:39
  SPEAKER_01: You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 52:42
  SPEAKER_01: So I came up with uh, I didn't do that, but I think it's funny that I say that.
• 52:47
  SPEAKER_01: Anyway, I came up with the word tencare.
• 52:50
  SPEAKER_01: T-E-N-C-A-R-E with an accent to go at the end, tenkare.
• 52:55
  SPEAKER_01: When you deeply, deeply, deeply care and deeply, deeply, deeply don't give an F, okay?
• 53:00
  SPEAKER_01: That's tenkare.
• 53:01
  SPEAKER_01: You are clean, you're good to go.
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay?
• 53:04
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 53:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's what I make up stuff.
• 53:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it's really fun.
• 53:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love marketing, I love branding, I love creating a business.
• 53:11
  SPEAKER_01: It's so much fun.
• 53:13
  unknown: Yeah.
• 53:14
  SPEAKER_01: And some people have stress around it.
• 53:16
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 53:17
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that's a wrap on today's episode of What Comes Next.
• 53:22
  SPEAKER_00: If this conversation gave you a new way to improve your business, think about coaching in a different way, send it to someone who will find it useful.
• 53:32
  SPEAKER_00: You can find everything I'm building at tipswora.com, including AI certifications for you and your team.
• 53:38
  SPEAKER_00: You can connect with me on LinkedIn by looking up my name, Arnansi Patnaik.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_00: You can find Steve on his website in LinkedIn too.
• 53:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and you can look him up on LinkedIn.
• 53:50
  SPEAKER_00: All the links will be uh on the podcast site.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_00: Your website is uh SteveBartoncoaching.com.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: So with that, uh that's the end of the podcast.
• 54:01
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much, Steve.
• 54:02
  SPEAKER_00: It was lovely talking to you.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_01: I remember sponsoring you great, and thank you.
• 54:07
  SPEAKER_01: Keep up the amazing work.
• 54:08
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for having me on.