Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / 268. Robin Arzón On Actionable Goal Setting & The Hustler Mindset

Transcript

268. Robin Arzón On Actionable Goal Setting & The Hustler Mindset · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We are wired to feel that forward momentum when we've reached.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: That little bit of discomfort, when we're like, ah, this
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: is new, Like that tinge of frustration, when we're feeling
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: like we're really stretching physically, mentally, emotionally, all the above.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: That's it. I mean, I think that that's what life
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: is about. And I think that the more that we
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: can give ourselves pools as well as grace, then we're
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: primed for success. What's going on, Emily Abody? Here?
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: You are listening to episode two hundred and sixty eight
• 0:44
  Speaker 3: of Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast where I connect with
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: everyone from your favorite athletes to top experts and industry
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments, and everything in between.
• 0:55
  Speaker 3: We all go through hurdles in life, and my goal
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: through these discussions is to empower you to better navigate
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: yours and move with intention so that you can stride
• 1:04
  Speaker 3: towards your own big potential and of course have some
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: fun along the way. For today's episode, I am bringing
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: back my dear friend Robin Arson. She is the vice
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: president of Fitness Programming over at Peloton, as well as
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: a now mother of two, A New York Times best
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: selling author an Ultra marathonor the list goes on. And
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: today is a special episode because we are chatting all
• 1:31
  Speaker 3: about goal setting.
• 1:32
  Speaker 1: I've had Robin twice on the show before.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: I'm going to link to both of those episodes in
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: the show notes, and not so surprisingly, y'all have asked
• 1:40
  Speaker 3: for more. So just in time for the release of
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: her new empowerment journal, Welcome Hustler, Robin and I are
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: chatting all about her five step process on goal setting.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: This is definitely going to help you get to your
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: big goals, chatting about what a goal is, bringing it
• 1:55
  Speaker 3: up into small parts, knowing your why when it comes
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: to choosing a goal, well, setting your deadline, knowing when
• 2:01
  Speaker 3: to pivot, and the importance of celebration. I always have
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: a blast when I get to connect with Robin, and
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: this conversation is no exception. Make sure you're following along
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: with both of us over on social you know her
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: over at Robin NYC and I am over at Emily
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: Body and at Hurdle Podcast. With that, let's get to it.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Let's get to Hurdling. Today, I am sitting down with
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Robin Arson. She is the vice president of fitness programming
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: over at Peloton, among many other things.
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: How are you doing today, Robin? What's up girl? Good
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: to talk to you, I know, and good to see you.
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: I haven't seen you in a minute, irl, but you've
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: been a little busy over there, you.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: Know, birth and babies, just making projects, birthing product well,
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: so many babies at the moment.
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Congratulations to the newest edition to your family. How are
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: you feeling.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling good, girl. I'm just happy to be back
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: to like training and moving because I mean, I know
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: you can relate. It's like so crucial to everything that
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: I do. I don't know, I'm not so great at
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: slowing down. So the fact that I had that period
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: of postpartum up slowing down and now I can, you know,
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: start to rebuild and slowly ramp.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Back up, rebuild and slowly ramp back up. Yeah, I
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: can definitely relate to that. Despite never having a baby,
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: something like even an injury slowing you down can be
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: the most frustrating moment period. One hundred, one hundred, one hundred. Well,
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: I'm so happy to have you back on the show.
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: I believe this is our third time being able to
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: sit down for hurdle, and today we are celebrating a
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: new chapter for you.
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: See what I did there with the puna and the journey.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: See yeah, okay, okay, Robin's got a journal coming out.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: Talk to us a little bit about Welcome Hustler, Robin.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, So Welcome Hustler is a journal that's infused
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: with my prompts, the audits that I did, what I
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: was transitioning from law to wellness, so you know, kind
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: of rooted in career change, value identification, and just really
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: those thought provoking questions that might move us from a
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: place of stagnation or plateau to a place of agency
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: and gratitude. It's intended for folks who maybe have been
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: intimidated by the blank page before to kind of jump
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: in with no judgment and you know, maybe a little
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: less feelings of that self conscious feeling of like I
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: don't even know how to write when something you know,
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: when you have pen to paper. That's how I felt
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: when I first started journaling a long time ago, when
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: I really started journaling, when I was still a lawyer,
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: trying to figure out what the heck I was going
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: to do with my life. So it was really coming
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: from a place of I felt really lost and paralyzed
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: by what the future held, and it was a way
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: for me to kind of reclaim agency and ownership of
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: the story that I was writing in the narrative of
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: my life. With that, I found like some really actionable
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: and actionable toolkit, or I added journaling to my toolkit.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: This is the product of that. It's what I've been
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: kind of journaling myself and asking myself for the past
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: almost twenty years. Put in a handy, little gorgeous yellow
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: and black welcome hustler package for the folks who want to,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: you know, step into the power of their lives. And
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: they do, they do.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: I got my own copy of the journal just last
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: week and I've already started diving in. There's so many
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: good prompts in there, and as you mentioned, a really
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: big focus in this journal is talking about goals and
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: goal setting, something that you are genuinely absolutely no stranger too,
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: with all that you've accomplished so far, and I know
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: there's many more things to come. So talk to us
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: a little bit about why setting goals is not only
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: important to you, but important in general.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, psychological perspective. We are wired to feel
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: that forward momentum when we've reached.
• 6:05
  Speaker 2: That little bit of discomfort, when we're like, ah, this
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: is new, like that tinge of frustration, when we're feeling
• 6:12
  Speaker 2: like we're really stretching physically, mentally, emotionally, all the above.
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: That's it. I mean, I think that that's what life
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: is about. And I think that the more that we
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: can give ourselves pools as well as grace, then we're
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: primed for success. I mean, there's obviously a ton of
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: research around goal setting and lots of books in this regard,
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: and this is kind of a companion piece, right, So
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: welcome Hustler is meant to go along with things that
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: exist in this kind of goal setting ecosystem from my
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: point of view, right, So, like, I think I have
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: a specific way of communicating with the world, and this
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: has definitely got that swagger.
• 6:50
  Speaker 3: I think specific way would be like the most drastic understatement.
• 6:55
  Speaker 3: You certainly have own your own vibe. Robin, talk to
• 6:58
  Speaker 3: us a little bit. Do you remember the first time
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: you yourself, I know you spoke about using this when
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: you were transitioning out of law, but maybe even beyond that,
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: the first time you yourself followed this framework that you
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: set up in Welcome Hustler oh well as a framework.
• 7:11
  Speaker 1: So when I was a lawyer, I didn't realize I didn't.
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: It was only looking back that I kind of distilled
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: the framework. When I was journaling as a lawyer, I
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: was just like grasping at whatever I'm like, is there
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: any thread I can pull on that will get me
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: to this new career? And it was really starting with curiosity.
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: It was like, what the hell do I even like?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: What do I like about myself? What do I like
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: about the world? Truly, it was like that was how
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: basic some of these questions started. And then the audit
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: that I did that I later called an audit, you know,
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: really looked at my physical health, my emotional health, my
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: mental health, my financial health, my spiritual health. And I
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: was really trying to set myself up for success. As
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: I knew I wanted to embark on this life change
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: as career change, I thought, Okay, well, what what can
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: I want to take a lay of the land, see
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: what I have going for me, and see what I
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: really need to continue to build. That was both from
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: a skill set perspective and a financial perspective, and like
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: I just wanted to like optimize whatever I could control,
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: and that audit I basically have infused into the journal,
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: you know, in with questions for folks to answer for themselves.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: You know, not every piece of it is going to
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: be relevant in every chapter of an individual's life. But
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: I think that's what's cool is that you can jump
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: around welcome hustler, and see what speaks to you and
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: skip over what doesn't. And when I realized that that
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: was kind of an audit, and now I revisit that often, right,
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: So I do like vision boards and business plans and
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: values assessments. Those are just like super fun things for
• 8:45
  Speaker 1: me to do like quarterly, if not minimally, twice a year.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: And I kind of revisit these questions of the audit,
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: sometimes with relation to a specific project or a specific relationship,
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: but very very much so as it relates to my
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: creative endeavors and anything that kind of is a forward
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: thinking business plan. I always come back to these questions
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: because I think it's just it's a really helpful framework
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: for me to kind of cut the noise and get
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: to what is the goal of the goal. Like sometimes
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: that I think it can be really daunting to try
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: to unearth the why, but something that I started asking
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: myself in the past year. So I was like, what
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: is the goal of the goal? Because I realized that
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: I was starting to write down things that just felt like, well,
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: this is the logical next step. Once so I achieved this,
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: then it should be this. And I realized that it
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: was like, is that my goal? Or is that just
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: like something I say on Instagram? You know what I mean.
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: It's like there's a lot that we're refracting and jumping
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: and jumbling around in there. So I think that these
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: frameworks kind of get us back to listening to the
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: voice that is in our bodies.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. I mean, listen, it's totally understandable.
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: There's so much going on, there's so much stimulation. There's
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: just like a lot to organize in there. So getting
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: to a place where not only you're putting it down
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: on paper, but then you're going through this framework is
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: really got to be helpful, not just for you, but
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: now in turn for those that are able to open
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: that journal.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: So in the journal you really do elaborate around.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: I will call it like maybe like a five step
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: process or so when it comes to setting goals, I
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: know The first step of that process is getting really
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: specific on what a goal is.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: Give us a little bit of.
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: Intel on why it's important to articulate specifically the.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: What of a goal. Yeah, I mean, I think an
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: analogy is really helpful here. Or an example, like, if
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: you were going to drive cross country, it would be
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: really inefficient just to like hop in the car and
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: go like without a destination, right Like, You'd probably figure
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: it out, But it's much much easier and more direct
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: if you say, like, these are the coordinates or at
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: least this is the general vicinity of the city that
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I want to travel to. So it's kind of like
• 10:57
  Speaker 1: that with a goal, right like, And we have to
• 10:59
  Speaker 1: give ourselves using the road trip analogy, we have to
• 11:01
  Speaker 1: give ourselves freedom to say, oh, okay, I actually I
• 11:04
  Speaker 1: thought it was this, but like this detour totally makes sense.
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: And that's why some of the values assessments and really
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: listening to that inner voice are super important, so we
• 11:12
  Speaker 1: know when those detours are procrastination and when those detours
• 11:15
  Speaker 1: are maybe an intentional pivot the specificity of the goal itself.
• 11:19
  Speaker 1: It just allows us to have that myopic vision and
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: then start to beginning with the end in mind, right,
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: So it's like, once you see the literal or figurative
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: finish line, then you can start to architect the action
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: steps that we'll get you there. It's anybody who's had
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: a training plan. I mean, it's very very similar. A
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: lot of our goals aren't as specific as you run
• 11:43
  Speaker 1: twenty miles on Saturday and then the race is two
• 11:45
  Speaker 1: weeks later. But the more specific we can get with
• 11:48
  Speaker 1: our goal, I think that the more we can create,
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: you know, kind of those action steps that feel a
• 11:54
  Speaker 1: little bit more concrete and less esoteric.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and those action steps are actually the next part
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: of this process, breaking up your goal into small parts.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: What does breaking up a goal into small parts do
• 12:07
  Speaker 3: for the process of the individual?
• 12:09
  Speaker 1: The research has shown that we god as an ultra marathoner,
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: as an a marathoner and a runner, you're totally going
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: to get this like that messy middle piece of any
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: the road to any achievement. That middle feels endless, it
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: feels gunky. Most people are motivated at the beginning, and
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: they're motivated really close to the finish line. But the
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: messy middle is something that we need to kind of
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: understand exists. And the more that we can kind of
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: confront that from the beginning and segment our goals into
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: smaller chunks, the more that we'll be able to kind
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: of work through that messy middle with a little bit
• 12:46
  Speaker 1: more energy, motivation, and intentionality. And I think that in
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: segmenting and chunking, not only do we make the action
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: steps a little bit more practical, you know, in kind
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: of a calendar week or month or year, we also
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: kind kind of take a little bit of the charge
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: out of that middle feeling endless. Listen, a lot of
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: I really think often about you know, like the greats,
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: like the Lebron's, the Beyonces, and how much of what
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: they do is boring as shit, and the boredom is
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: not something that we talk about enough. And so I
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: think that this is a place to create some architecture
• 13:26
  Speaker 1: around the process and the boredom, because that is actually
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: how we're going to get to our achievements.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I mean even if we were to break
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: it down into someone perhaps again you're going back to
• 13:37
  Speaker 3: that marathon analogy, right, You're like, well, in order to
• 13:39
  Speaker 3: run a marathon, I'm going to know that I need
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: these things, and I'm going to have to break it
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: up into little doables.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: That's why you have different types of running.
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: You're doing different types of long runs that you're a
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: different distance for long runs that you're doing on the weekends.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: And by breaking it up into those little doables and
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: celebrating your achievements on the way something we'll get to
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: in a little bit, then that empowers you to get
• 13:59
  Speaker 3: to that ultimate goal. You don't one day just say
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: I'm going to run a marathon in three months and
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: then three months later you just show up with your
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: shoes on. You're like, Okay, I guess it's the day
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: that I'm going to do it.
• 14:07
  Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. And segmenting that and even you know you
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: mentioned like get the shoes, get the get the gels,
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: Like what are the practical steps? Like, like what I
• 14:17
  Speaker 1: want someone to answer the question is how will you
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: get to the finish line? Break the journey into small chunks.
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: Like step one might be send the email, you know
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: what I mean, Like it doesn't need to be this
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: like this, I'm not asking for a business plan here
• 14:30
  Speaker 1: and maybe a business plane. But it's like step one,
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: send the email, step two, respond to the email, Step three,
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: buy the shoes, you know what I mean? Like the
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: I would just love three or four action items because
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: then they build on themselves, and once somebody has a
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: tiny bit of momentum, a tiny bit of momentum, a
• 14:47
  Speaker 1: lot can be built on that. So I just want
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: to I just want folks to like start to get
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: the ball rolling. And you know what a lot of
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: the research shows is that you know, when we proclaim
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: the goal publicly, we get that dope immune response, but
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: if we haven't taken the action behind it, we're just
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: digging ourselves into an even bigger hole because we have
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: that chemical reaction and that energetic surge that often we
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: get on social media, which is great, Like, I think
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: our communities can really support us and champion us in
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: that way, But if you're not marrying that with action,
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: you are doing yourself a disservice. So I think that
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: this is goal of this goal setting exercise is to
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: actually get you to do something with it.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you
• 15:34
  Speaker 3: about my sponsor at AG one. AG one is an
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: all in one daily supplement, one single scoop that gives
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: you the anti acid and equivalent of twelve servings of
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: fruits and vegetables as well as prebiotics, probatics, adaptagens, and
• 15:49
  Speaker 3: superfoods made from seventy five whole food sourced ingredients. It
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: is my go to whether I am cozying up back
• 15:56
  Speaker 3: in Brooklyn or I'm hitting the road. You know, I
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: brought my travel with me on this europe trip out
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: to Berlin.
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: By shaking up.
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: AG one first thing in the morning, I know that
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: I'm doing something good for my body. And when things
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: can be a little bit unpredictable, especially my schedule, there
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: is no doubt that this regularity is exactly what I
• 16:15
  Speaker 3: crave on the regular Of course, they have a deal
• 16:19
  Speaker 3: for you to help you feel your best as well.
• 16:22
  Speaker 3: Grab five free travel packs as well as a year's
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: supply of Vitamin D with your order today. Just head
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: on over to drink ag one dot com slash hurdle again,
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: that link is drink a g one d r I
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: n k ag one dot com slash hurdle to get
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: five free travel packs and a year's supply of Vitamin
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: D with your purchase right, and you'll be more prone
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: to do something with it if you know your why,
• 16:56
  Speaker 3: which is another really critical step in this five step
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: process as we're calling it so identifying your why why?
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: Can't identifying your why actually be the key you need
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: to getting to where you want to go?
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: Well, it definitely comes back to that, like the more
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: mundane moments like when the excitement fades, why the hell
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: were you doing this in the first place? And that's
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: why the why needs to be genuine to you, like
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: be honest, right, Like this isn't like the mother Teresa
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: Gandhi esque version of why you are doing the thing?
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: Like if it is completely you're allowed to be self
• 17:32
  Speaker 1: absorbed and completely about you in this journal. No, you know,
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: it's not intended for anybody else to see it. So
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: it's like, what is your genuine why are you climbing
• 17:42
  Speaker 1: the right ladder? Right? Like? Are you putting your ladder
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: up to the right you know goal? So to speak.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: And it goes back to that same question that I've
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: been asking myself recently, is like what is the goal
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: of the goal in achieving this? What is the point?
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: And that that's something that I think is really important
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: that we ask ourselves before we embark on something because
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: the ephemeral feeling of motivation that is fickle, do not
• 18:04
  Speaker 1: depend on that it is going to be disciplined process
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: and action that is going to get you there. Yeah.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: I mean the why is what keeps someone going when
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: it's humid during a twenty mile run, or keeps someone
• 18:16
  Speaker 3: studying for a final well into the morning when they'd
• 18:19
  Speaker 3: rather be sleeping.
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: Right, The why is the thing, as.
• 18:22
  Speaker 3: You articulated so beautifully, that helps you get through those
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: quote unquote boring moments and keep on keeping on towards
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: your goal.
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's the spark, right, Like I think, like when
• 18:32
  Speaker 1: I start a project, I'm like a right if I
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: only have a certain amount of matches, you know, I
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: it Sometimes it just takes one little spark, and I
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: think that we can really be the folks, be those
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: self generating firestarters.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: I want to talk about the idea of choosing a deadline,
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: Let's say the fourth segment in this five step process.
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: Choosing a deadline can be super beneficial, but it can
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: also be something that might need to be shifted. So
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: talk about how you choose a deadline and when you
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: may know if you have to give yourself a little
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: bit of grace.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: One example that I'm trying to but I will manifest
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: is buying a home a vacation home for my family,
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: and I had a fourteen a very unrealistic fourteen month
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: deadline for that. And while that is in progress, it's
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: we're not fourteen months away from signing, and there are
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: certain things that you're not gonna be all control. You
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: can't control the weather. I can't control mortgage rates, you know,
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: but I can't control the controllables, right, So I think
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: that establishing a deadline keeps us focused. I say, like
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: a dream or wish without a deadline as a fairy tale,
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: it's important for us to dream really really big, like
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: so big it scares us, but anchor it is something
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: anger it in action, and anchor it with a forward
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: thinking deadline, because you're going to you have to establish
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: kind of a beginning and a perceived end. This endless
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: finish line, it actually hinders our motivation and it hinders
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: our ability to feel anything but a plateau if the
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: finish line moves. That is actually I think it's healthy
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: to know when you when there's a need to pivot,
• 20:10
  Speaker 1: as long as it's anchored in something that is actionable
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: and there's you have a little bit of a history
• 20:18
  Speaker 1: of action behind it, right, So, like constantly moving the
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: goal post and you haven't even started. Then you know
• 20:24
  Speaker 1: that you're just procrastinating, you're really not getting it done.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: But moving the goal post when you know you have
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: a little bit already behind you, then you know that
• 20:33
  Speaker 1: that's just an intentional pivot, and it's completely okay.
• 20:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, completely okay, And also of note helpful to not
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: only set a deadline perhaps for that ultimate goal, but
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: also some of those smaller.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Little douables that we were talking about before. For sure,
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: for sure, like I love that. I would love to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: see someone take the answers to these questions and then
• 20:54
  Speaker 1: lift them and put them in their calendar, you know
• 20:56
  Speaker 1: what I mean. It's like take the verbs that you
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: wrote down and then make them calendar appointments. Like that's
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: even better. We love a Google calendar moment.
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: Now, the last step here in our five step process celebrating.
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: Celebrating so integral to setting goals. Why is that, Robin,
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: my gosh, we have to celebrate our achievements along the way,
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: like these these small victories are worthy of excitement, right,
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: it doesn't have to be. I actually think it's so
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: much better when we celebrate randomly. You know, it doesn't
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: have to be the PhD, the baby shower, the things
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: that people say are achievements. Sure, like those big life
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: moments are great, but I actually think the more mundane
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: moments that we are able to create, that we are
• 21:43
  Speaker 1: able to rally around, are potentially even more exciting. As
• 21:48
  Speaker 1: I've been digging into kind of what experts say around
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: this research that making the celebration. Who just said this, Okay,
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: Andrew Humor just on a recent podcas was describing how
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: flip a coin, Like you want the celebration to almost
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: surprise you, right, so instead of it's like, yeah, it
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: might be like every Friday, I do this thing. So
• 22:10
  Speaker 1: like maybe there's a formal process around the celebration and
• 22:12
  Speaker 1: the achievement of the thing, but even better for your
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: excitement around it to literally flip a coin and it's it.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: You don't know when the celebration is going to happen,
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: but you're folding in the celebratory moments along the way
• 22:25
  Speaker 1: that that makes it, that continues to keep it enchanting
• 22:29
  Speaker 1: to the to the mind, And I think that that's amazing.
• 22:34
  Speaker 1: I've actually already started to incorporate that I.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: Was going to ask you, obviously, a huge life moment
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: for you the birth of your second child, But what
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: small moment have you celebrated recently?
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: Oh that was just over the weekend. I got both
• 22:48
  Speaker 1: kids dressed, fed, cleaned, and out of the house alone,
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: and I managed to take them on like a thirty
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: minute walk, And that was huge for me. Like baby
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: in the carrier, Athena was in the stroller, Like I
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: got them out moving. It was like we got out
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: an under fifteen minute. I was like, oh my gosh,
• 23:07
  Speaker 1: like I am a superwoman and I and these were
• 23:09
  Speaker 1: just it was it was just taking one to step.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: I was like, Okay, what if I just put the
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: baby in the carrier, Okay, got it hands free? What
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: if I just put athenis shoes on?
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: You know?
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: And I was just giving myself freedom to just take
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: the next choice. And it might seem super simple, like
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: anyone listening with small humans knows that that is like
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: an Olympic event getting small children out of the house.
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: But it just for me was an example that in
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: my mind felt really complicated and intimidating. And there were
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: probably gonna be many days where it is complicated and intimidating,
• 23:39
  Speaker 1: but that morning, I was like, I'm just gonna take
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: the next step and the next step and the next step,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: and I got out and that I celebrated that for sure,
• 23:47
  Speaker 1: good for you. I love that.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: We love a small wind celebration, and that is not
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: even a small wind.
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: That's a big victory if you ask me.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: Now, as we start to wind down here, someone listening
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: to this maybe in a position where they're constantly setting
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: goals and setting new things that they're after, but keeps
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: finding themselves coming up short. For someone who feels as
• 24:08
  Speaker 3: though they may be running into a brick wall over
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: and over, what advice do you have for them to
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: keep on keeping on and find that new sense of motivation.
• 24:16
  Speaker 1: We have to be willing to hold up the mirror
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: and ask ourselves, like what's going on? So sometimes there
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: are process things, or discipline things, or environmental things that
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: are really really pulling us off track. So I think
• 24:32
  Speaker 1: something that can be helpful there is asking a trusted critic.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: No notice, I didn't say a trusted friend. I said
• 24:37
  Speaker 1: a trusted critic, like someone who's actually willing to say, yeah,
• 24:41
  Speaker 1: you're not getting up at six am because you go
• 24:43
  Speaker 1: to bed at two am, Like that's not going to happen,
• 24:45
  Speaker 1: you know, Like so there are certain things that are
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: just kind of we have to get out of our
• 24:48
  Speaker 1: own way. But I think that so unpacking, like the
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: process and the discipline and stuff I think is like
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: its own. I mean, we could probably go into like
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: a whole podcast just about that. But we should set
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: ourselves up for success. I think that we should make
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: things really bite sized and achievable. Right, So if we
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: use James Clear's a tomic habits for example, you know
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: he writes that in our goal setting habit should be
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: something you can achieve in two minutes or less. I
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: mean that when I was when I had Athena, I
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: had totally fallen off reading, and I was like, oh,
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: I got to get back on reading. And then I
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: first it was like I'm going to read a book
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: a week, and it was just absurd. So I literally
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: at the beginning of twenty twenty three, yeah, I was like,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: I'm going to read a page a day and it
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: felt so absurd, but I did it then, and now
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: I'm back into reading and I'm reading a ton, but
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: now I'm actually more than a book a month. But
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: when I started with that goal, I just stumbled. And
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: when I made it absurdly small. I most days did
• 25:50
  Speaker 1: way more than that, and then you're starting to create
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: that self generated momentum. And then when you layer on
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: process and discipline and purpose and all the other things
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: that I put into this journal, that's when you see
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: yourself win. So I think that's one of the most
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: basic ways we can get out of our own way
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: is to really really make the goal something ridiculously achievable,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: not necessarily easy, right, So we want that a little
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: bit of stretch, but just to get yourself going. I
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: think that you know, we can be kind to ourselves
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: in what the goal is in the first place, oh
• 26:26
  Speaker 1: so important.
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: And I also think such a big part of that
• 26:29
  Speaker 3: is also being honest with yourself about whether or not
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: you're enjoying the process.
• 26:33
  Speaker 1: Right. Similarly, I was with you.
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: I was trying to do the whole like book arbitrary
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: deadline and realizing that I was just stressing myself out
• 26:42
  Speaker 3: and I wasn't enjoying it, whereas you know when I
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: do enjoy reading on vacation or out to dinner by myself.
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: And so I just reframed it and shifted my goals
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: to meet myself with where I'm at and find enjoyment
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: in the journey, because if you're not having fun, then
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: like that finish line, no matter how great, exciting, whatever.
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: It's, it's not going to mean as much for sure.
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: Well, I'm so excited for you in this new endeavor,
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: this new journal. Is there anything that we haven't touched
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: on just yet before I let you go? When it
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: comes to advice that you want to offer the hurdlers
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: that are setting their own goals and going after their
• 27:14
  Speaker 3: big exciting moments right now.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think back to when I was like nine
• 27:18
  Speaker 1: years old and I tried to be like Judy Bloom's
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: like newest pro to day and like write dear diary today.
• 27:24
  Speaker 1: This is what I did and no, no, no, And
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: it was for some people that works. It never worked
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: for me. And I probably have like in my mom's house,
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: like so many unfinished like journals that I wrote one
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: page in, you know. And this is really for the
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: folks who feel like journaling is not for me, because
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: there is a framework in here that I think gets
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: into the mind of a hustler, gets into the mind
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: of a wanna be hustler, someone who you know, defines
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: their own finish line and is willing to architect their
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: next level. They just don't know how to really go
• 27:55
  Speaker 1: about that, you know. I invite folks to write their
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: next chapter, right their next chapter.
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: Start small, go after all the things that excite you, Robin,
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: that love always the opportunity to sit down with you.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: If they don't just yet, and I'm sure most of
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: them do, how do the hurdlers follow along with you?
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: How do they keep up with you? Give us the details?
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: Yes, so, Robin Abson, I'm Robin Arson dot com. You
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: can get welcome Hustler wherever books are sold, and I
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: am so so excited to connect with folks on social
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: media of course ig Twitter, and you can also find
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: me lurking around Swagger Society, which is my newest lifestyle
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: membership club. There's nothing going on in Robin's life right now.
• 28:37
  Speaker 3: If you've learned that at all, oh so so happy
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: that'll be able to make this happen. I'm over at
• 28:42
  Speaker 3: Emily a Body at Hurdle Podcast, Another Hurdle Conquered.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: Catch you guys next time.
• 29:00
  Speaker 3: He