Latest / Natty Unfiltered / E25: Optimism Is A Skill, Not A Personality

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E25: Optimism Is A Skill, Not A Personality · Natty Unfiltered

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Foreign.
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Is a skill, not a personality. Have you ever
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looked at someone and thought, why does everything seem to
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work out for them? They always seem happy, they always
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seem positive, they always seem to find a way,
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everything is going their way. Meanwhile, you're sitting
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there wondering if you're doing something wrong. I used to think people
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were just born with optimist,
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born being optimistic. Like they won some personality
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lottery that I somehow missed.
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But the older I've gotten, the more I've realized something.
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Optimism isn't something you're born with,
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it's something you practice.
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And when I realized that, I also try to
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teach my kids is to look at things in a
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positive light, to be optimistic, because it's so easy
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to be negative and look at things negatively,
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think negatively, and that's just not
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the way to live. And the more negatively you think,
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the more negativity you start attracting.
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And once you realize that, then you start looking at things. Even if
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things don't look that they're going in the right direction or
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you think something is not going to happen if you switch your mindset
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and start thinking positively and kind of like
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program your mindset to catch when you think in a negative light,
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to switch it up and think positively, it's just magically
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things start to work out, and sometimes they working
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out even better than you have expected.
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And so this is something that you have to get into
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practicing, and it's practice on the regular basis.
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And today I want to talk about that and explore a little bit
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more, because learning this one lesson completely changed
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the way I look at life. Welcome back to
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Nady Unfiltered. It's been a minute. I know I've been gone
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for a little bit. Life happens.
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But now I'm back and I'm
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so excited to be with you guys. I'm Natalia, but most people
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call me Natty. If this is your first time listening,
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I'm so happy you're here. This podcast is for anyone who's
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trying to become a little braver, think a little bigger, and create
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a life that actually feels aligned with who. Who they are.
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Around here, we talk about confidence, motherhood,
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mindset, financial freedom, personal growth,
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and everything in between, because that's how life is.
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If those. If today's episode speaks to you,
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I would love it if you would follow the podcast and share
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it with someone who could use a little encouragement. It really
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helps more people discover these conversations, and it
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means so much to me. Now let's get in
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today's episode. I wasn't always
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this person. I Think people sometimes see someone smiling
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online or talking about mindset and assume they've always
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been that way. That definitely wasn't me.
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I mean, I would say that I've
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always been kind of happy and sort of positive,
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but not really positive
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all the time. There were so many years where my first reaction
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to anything difficult was, what if this doesn't work?
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What if I fail? What if people judge me? What if
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I'm wasting my time?
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I could come up with 10 reasons not to do something
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before I ever thought of one reason to try.
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All because of the reasons I mentioned. And honestly,
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that kind of thinking is exhausting because
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eventually, you know, you start believing every fearful
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thought your brain gives you. And that's
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something that you, you know, it's like
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you don't want to go down that rabbit
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hole. You start living
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as if the worst case scenario is guaranteed.
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Looking back now, I realize I wasn't protecting myself.
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I was actually limiting myself. I was
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giving fear a microphone and confidence.
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Barely had a voice.
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That's something that I needed to change. And I needed to
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change to live my life in the, in the,
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like better, in the better light and for
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the things to be working out for me.
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Life doesn't get easier. Here's something
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that I've learned. Life doesn't suddenly become easy.
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Problems don't disappear. There'll always be something.
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Money, family, health, work,
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relationships, unexpected setbacks.
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And that's just how life is. And sometimes you
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go through life and you feel like you just dodging bullets.
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You feel like there's things just coming at you and that there's a saying,
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when it rains, it pours. And I've experienced that so many
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times in my life where one thing starts and
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then there's something else that comes and you feel like,
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oh my God, why all of this happening at the same time?
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Or sometimes you, you feel like you're not getting a breather in life.
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You feel like, okay, I tackled this issue and then
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you have little bit breathing room and then
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something else starts. And then you see that other people,
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they just have this flow of success, flow of happiness,
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all this wonderful
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things happening to them.
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The difference isn't that optimistic people have
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fewer problems is that they refuse to let
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those problems become their identity. They don't
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pretend everything is perfect. They simply believe they're
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figuring it out. And that one belief changes
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everything. Now what changed? For me, the biggest shift happened
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when I stopped asking why is this happening to me?
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And started asking what is this trying to teach
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me? That tiny change completely changed
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how I approached life instead of seeing
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obstacles, I started seeing lessons. Instead of
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thinking something was happening against me, I started wondering if it
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was happening for me. Now,
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don't get me wrong, I still have hard days.
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I still get discouraged. I still question myself
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sometimes. Know I'm a human and doesn't matter
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how long you've been working on yourself, you come far
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along than you were, let's say,
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six months, a year ago, couple of years ago. But the.
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What I'm saying is that you still have those thoughts
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that creep in. And how you deal with them
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is you have already the tools to
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deal with them in a much better light than you did
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before. And so the difference is, is that
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I don't stay there anymore.
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Like, I don't stay in that mindset of questioning.
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And I try to then reroute my mind
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and say this is happening because there's some sort
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of a lesson. And that's what I
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keep on telling myself. And I've learned that feelings,
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they're temporary, they deserve to be acknowledged,
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but they don't deserve to make every decision.
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And this is something that if you've been struggling with
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and you've been dealing with, try to look at in a positive light
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and say that, you know, things are going to work out for me better
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than I thought. The universe provides
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for me, the universe has my back. Everything is
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going to work out how it's supposed to. And just
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try to think positive. And sometimes
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I know that when we're in certain situation, we can
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see how things can possibly work out. But I
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can tell you that from go. From going
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through so many things in the past,
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I've. When I change my mindset and
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when I try to look at things in the positive light,
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things just, they kind of work out.
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And they work out in sort
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of different light. And the universe, the universe
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actually looks out for you. But you
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have to be doing the work. Nobody else is going to do the work for
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you. Your brain believes what you repeatedly tell it.
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Here's something that's fascinated me over the past few years.
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Your brain is always listening. Every thought you repeat becomes
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familiar. If every morning you wake up thinking,
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I'm behind, I'm not good enough, I'm too old,
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I'm not smart enough. Who's gonna want
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me? Who. You know, who's gonna find me valuable
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eventually? Your brain accepts those thoughts
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as facts. But here's the amazing part.
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The opposite is also true. You can train your
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mind, you can build new beliefs.
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And that's one reason I became so interested in Subconscious
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reprogramming and personal development.
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Because I realized the conversations happening
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inside my own head were shaping the life I was creating.
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Nobody else was responsible for changing that. It had
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to start with me. And that's when I started working
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with on myself. When that's
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when I started working with the hypnosis coach,
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I started to have, you know, I started to listen to the recordings
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of my sessions. I would wake up,
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go brush my teeth. I turn on the recording and listen to
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it. I listen throughout the day. I would listen when I'm
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going to bed, even if I fall asleep. What I learned
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is that your subconscious mind is still listening to that recording.
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So it's fine that you fall asleep. And then eventually your
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subconscious mind starts to react, reprogram and you start
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looking at yourself and looking at things differently.
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Which is amazing thing that you can do for yourself.
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Again, it doesn't happen overnight. It takes time,
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it takes work. And it takes you loving
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yourself and realizing that you can go through life with
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heaviness in your heart, heaviness in your mindset and
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just thinking that there's,
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you know, like you cannot do anything about
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it. But it takes you realizing and you believing yourself
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and you actually doing the work.
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So optimism isn't ignoring real reality.
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Sometimes people think optimism means pretending everything is
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one wonderful. And I know that sometimes people like,
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oh, why do you think so? You know, things are, you know, things are gonna
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just work out. Why are you so positive? And to me it's like, well,
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do you want to go through life being miserable and looking
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at things miserable? Because I've met people who, and you know,
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who are not happy. I can feel their energy. I can.
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You know, it's like I, because I feel things.
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Those type of people that have this kind of
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negative aura about them, I find them draining.
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So I do have to kind of sort of work on myself and kind of
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protect my inner peace. And I choose not to
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surround myself with those people because they're draining,
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they're drain your soul. And why would you
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want to be around those people? You want to surround yourself with, with like minded
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people, People who look at life differently, people who are happy about
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life, people who want to do better in life, people who just are,
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they're projecting light.
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And you know,
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when you think that people who
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are like optimistic, there's something sort of like wrong with them. I totally
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look at it differently in a different light.
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You know, real optim sounds more like this. The situation is
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hard but, but I'll get through it. I don't know exactly
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how, but I'll figure it out. I've survived difficult
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seasons before. I can survive this one, too.
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Do you see the difference? You're not denying reality.
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You're choosing hope. Hope gives you energy,
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and fear steals it.
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So, yes, you can recognize and say, okay, I know the situation
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doesn't look good, or I know, you know, like, what could.
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What kind of outcome can be? But I'm going
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to try to see if things can just work
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out. I know that there's always that possibility of things are working
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out. What can I do myself to,
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you know, to think of the positive outcome
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so that I can help myself and the situation.
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One conversation changed everything. I remember hearing
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someone say, you'll never think your way into a
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different life if you keep thinking the same thoughts.
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And so think about it. For me, it was just like,
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oh, wow, this is so powerful. Because I realized
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I wanted a different future, but I was carrying the same mindset
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that created my old one. I wanted more confidence, but I
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kept talking to myself like someone who wasn't confident.
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I wanted financial freedom, but I kept focusing on
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lack, off of it off. I kept
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focusing on the lack. I wanted opportunities,
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but I expected rejection. And nothing changes
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until your thinking changes.
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So think about it. Unless. Until your
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mindset changes, until you start changing
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the way you look at things, nothing is going to
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change. Three things that you know that helped me
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become more optimistic. Number one,
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protect what you consume. If you're constantly surrounded
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by negativity, complaining, drama, people who criticize
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everything, eventually that becomes your normal.
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So pay attention to what you're feeding your mind.
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Books, podcasts, you know, music, social media.
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You have control over all of that, even the conversations
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you have every day. Your environment matters more than you
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think. Number two, celebrate tiny wins.
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We're so focused on the finish line that we ignore the
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progress we're making. Maybe today you finally posted that video.
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Maybe you spoke up, Maybe you applied for the job.
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Maybe you walked away from something that wasn't serving. You celebrate
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that confidence grows from evidence,
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and evidence comes from small victories repeated over
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time. We're so used to always celebrating big moments,
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we forget about the small ones. And every small
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change, it moves
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you. It's. It's kind of compiles. And it's just.
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It's. I would say that every
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small thing needs to be celebrated, not just big
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things. Number three,
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keep promises to yourself. And this one changed my
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life. If you tell yourself you're going to do something, then do
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it, even if it's something small, like going for
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a Walk, read a chapter in a book, record the video,
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you know, drink water, you want to,
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you know, work, start working out.
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Every time you keep promise to yourself,
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you build trust with yourself. And trust creates confidence.
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And confidence is. Is built over time.
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The more you do something, the more confident you get.
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The more you get on and start recording yourself,
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the more confident you get because you are seeing
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yourself, you're failing, but then you coming back and
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you doing it better and better. And you
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are building that confidence and speaking in front of
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the camera. Here's what I want you to remember.
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You don't have to wake up tomorrow feeling like the happiest person
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in the world. You don't have to force positivity.
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You simply have to decide that your circumstances won't
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have the final say. That no matter what happens,
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you'll keep moving, you'll keep believing, you'll keep learning,
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you'll keep growing. Because that's what optimistic
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people do. Not because life is easy,
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but because they believe they're stronger than whatever life
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throws at them.
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And so I challenge you. This week is.
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Here's something that I would love for you to try
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for the next week. Every morning,
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before you check your phone, before social media,
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before emails, first of all, start your
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day and say, today is going to be a great day.
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Today is going to be a positive day. Today is going to be amazing
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day. Whatever it is, just pick a sentence. Doesn't have to be the same every
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morning, but the morning you wake up, open your eyes and
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say, say this to yourself.
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And then ask yourself one question. What is one
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thing I'm looking forward to today and then doesn't
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have to be huge. Maybe it's your morning coffee, a walk outside,
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dinner with your family or friends,
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finishing a project, watching your child smile.
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Train your brain to look for possibility before
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it looks for problems. I promise
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you'll begin seeing life differently.
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If today's episode reminded you of someone you love,
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someone who's going through a hard season, or someone who simply
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needs a little reminder that better days are possible,
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I'd love for you to share this episode with them. And if you're enjoying
21:01
Nati Unfiltered, make sure you're following the podcast so
21:04
you never miss a new episode. Every follow, every review,
21:09
every review and every share helps this community
21:12
grow. And I'm so grateful you're part of it.
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Remember this. Optimism isn't about pretending
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life is perfect. It's about believing that no
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matter what life throws your way, you have the strength
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to keep going. You're far more
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capable than you give yourself credit for. Keep showing up.
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Keep believing yourself. Keep becoming the person your future
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is counting on. Thank you so much
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for spending this time with me today. Until next time,
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take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself,
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and never stop believing in what's possible.
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I'll see you in the next episode of Nnedi Unfiltered.